曾经以为雨过天晴，为此事而买了个“太阳娃娃”的钥匙圈来为自己庆祝。。。
后来才发现。。。原来。。。心中的雨从没停。
雨。。。一直下个不停。。。
28 December 2005
new year coming!
yeap i know it's still kinda early.... but 1 january 2006 is approaching (kinda sux cos holidays ending soon too) so... it's time to reflect on the past year!
it had been a really tough year and i really wonder how i got through it... but now as i reflect, i no longer feel the pain and how torturous the year was... *probably cos now i'm sipping water and slacking in front of my lappie...*
first time stepping into the work force... though i was only working as part time, and so probably every thing had been toned down... i learnt alot of things... like how to answer phone calls, how to make phone calls *erms... as in the professional sense... i remember last time my parents ask me to call pizza hut for delivery i oso dun dare wahahaha!!!* erms.. filing is... maybe i learnt how to do it more efficiently? lolz~ basically i had been doing admin jobs... realised sales is not really for me, i can't really tahan standing for 10 hours straight... lolz~ learnt that it's quite hard to be professional some times... ie, be able to differentiate and separate feelings from doing your job...
first time earning money... the feeling is good but.. not that fulfilling as well... studying is better than working, but working brings u money? haha~ spending your hard earned money feels good... i mean... splurging on food *yummy yum... XD* and clothes and bags and accessories... now i understand y pple could be so obsessed with earning more cash... but i oso realised when working... that once u start working, and work so hard, until u have no time to stop and rest properly... i only started going out on shopping trips when i stopped working, and during my holidays, and when i'm studying... so it's not too good to work that hard but not use ur money either... i remember when i was working i think i got kinda depressed by work *no thanks to a certain boss who's such a bad example to his co-workers* and so i tried to forge all kinds of excuse to take leave even when i'm only doing part time. i can't imagine myself when i step into the workforce next time... -_-
and yes! tuition! my first tuition was this p4 kid, benedict, who i think some will be familiar with... from my entries this year... about the sentences he make for zao ju... lolz! but too bad his mum gave me the boot... i really dislike his mum... even up till now i cannot forget how she asked her son to tell me that she sacked me... i rather she tell me herself. so much for being sincere and stuff... plus i don't get courtesy from her such as getting a cup of water for tuitioning her kid. -_- and her kid is so daring to lock his tuition teacher out of his house while he takes his comfortable nap for so long. i feel his parents pamper him too much. ok lar, not that i'm a good tuition teacher or what, i oso dun feel like teaching him cos he's hard to teach and i feel i can't really help him... parents these days are just paranoid... he's only p4, and his grades are fairly good... still wanna hire tuition teacher? omg -_-
next student is koh yu... my fav j1 fmaths student... =) though she's so far from my house... and i sometimes malu myself cos i dunno how to do the questions she ask, but i feel that at least i'm helping her improve her grades... and just yesterday i managed to help her understand how to do forces questions! it feels fulfilling to know that she understands what i'm trying to convey... and we can chat with one another about what happened to us... where we went out to... some of the furnie things that happened to us.. =) so yeap! let's work hard next year and whack the fmaths paper for a lvls! XD and thanks for ur christmas card! *though i din give u any... =X*
last but not least, my quiet sec1 kid... sae qin... she's really too quiet until i think i'm preaching to a wall... ok lar at least she nods and stuff... she's smart but she's careless... and cos she's so quiet i don't really know whether she understands what i'm telling her and stuff... she's a little.. erms.. lazy lar... so kinda worried about what i can do for her next year to improve her grades... and she wanna take science in sec 3... so i guess we cannot slack at all for sec 2 streaming... jiayouz!
then... studies... first time stepping into uni... first time my school life is so slack until i'm too slack... i mean... my time table is so spaced out.. we only spend like 18 hours for lessons per week in school... that's way too slack as compared to my jc school time table! and we get to arrange our own time table... everything has to be done by ourselves... we are no longer "spoonfed" with the things we need to do... like to apply for scholarship we need to take our own initiative and stuff... *but looking at the lazy me i'm too lazy to find out the details and stuff so i let the scholarships slip from my fingers... thinking back that's so stupid of me*
and i realised that in uni the classmates u have is only for short term -- we change classmates every half a year... meaning no one actually bothers to forge strong friendships with you... pple just make use of each other, and when u're of no use to him/her they just forget abt u totally... so up till now i don't understand y my previous collegues kept telling me how their uni lives is one of the most fun times in their lives... -_- and how u can find your other half in uni... to me it's like.. bullshit... unless u're living in hall or taking some hiong cca... but for me it's non applicable... for now. =)
and my results for this year... i feel i could have done better... i feel i probably have been too slack... and next sem wouldn't be easy... computing! *omg* and jap! XD and chem! *once again cos i forgot to check my mail to ask to be exempted.. by the time i did that it was 1 week after the deadline.. damn* shet wad's happening to me?! i deserve to be slapped and stuff... -_-
and then... it's relationships...
my relationships with my family has improved... due to alot of reasons... like... now i spend more time at home... like how my father was heng to have survived the car accident unscathed... like how i realised that ur family loves u more than other pple could do... but of course the person who loves u most is yourself. so now i go out with my sis more than i go out with my friends... ironic isn't it... last time i don't even care about going out with my sis or to show concern about her results and stuff... cos i know she doesn't need me to be concerned... somehow it's different now... i guess i've changed alot... and my stupid brother... 1 head taller than me -_- irritating person... play game from the moment he opens his eyes till the moment he close his eyes to sleep every day. -_- then always complain about me dling stuff... say i hog the bandwidth when it's him. hmph. and my mum... lolz! sometimes she drives me nuts... say some things about me which made me really pissed off *like how she compares me to xiaxue that -_-... saying that we're the same. omg. plz. my ethics and hers are totally off... argh come to think of it i'm pissed off again.* but then she does some really furnies stuff oso... like she's having a vcd frenzy now.. buy so many vcds then sit down there watch vcd and order us to paint the house. -_- ok that's not furnies. lolz~ but i wonder when she'll ever finish watching all the vcds she bought.... LOL... and then my dad... i realised that whenever the car has a problem, it's always me n my dad that's present... like the accident... he was going to fetch me to tuition when it happened.. scared the hell outta me... then the tire burst... i was also on my way to toa payoh for tuition.... wth. then we helped one another and stuff... kinda weirds bah... i don't talk that much with him but the bond is there... and then he likes to stay up late till 3am in the morning to finish his work... then wake up at 6am laters to go to work... haiz... not good for health sia... see all the white hair on ur head... rest more lar! work so hard for wad. wait for me to earn money lar... -_-
and then... with friends... i feel i'm becoming closer to my fellow ntu mates... like pansy... we're closer than before... i still remember first time in ny we weren't that close in the first place... go jc closer... now even closer... weirds right? last time jc we see each other everyday... talk everyday... now we don't talk everyday... but the bond's even stronger than before? i guess our relationship matured alot bah... u don't need to be beside one another everyday every moment but u know they are there for u when u need them... =) and of course we gossip more shop more have more fun than in jc... she likes to call me up every now and then to go ktv... go shop... and go suntan! lolz! and there's shian chi, yin yin who i always disturb them in their hall... always go find them when i have long break to study wif them... haha~ then shian chi always like to cook her own meals with her neat little rice cooker *which was forbidden in the halls... LOL* all the fun stuff we did... =) and her toiletmates angela and... shet i forgot her name. -_- but i remember her face... haha now i remember her name... yvonne i think... =) they're so nice to me.... thankx peeps.. =) i don't know how else to express my gratitude and stuff... =) and xiaoli... recently we went to watch movie n suntan together... though we dun usually talk alot but somehow i feel closer to her now... =)
and my tutorial mates in school... though i don't know how far our friendships can last... but.. still happy to know u guys.... weiqing who always like to stay up late *dunno how he survive the next day in school.. but then again he always pon! LOL~* nicolas who likes to wear orange shirts... XD *and he dun wanna show me his wardrobe cos scared his wardrobe will be gone the next moment* and nicolas' roomie yong quan, fellow girlfriends xiao xuan, lixuan, shing yeong and poh lin... though for girls we aren't that close now probably cos of hols... and yes xiaoxuan probably don't know but i spotted her yesterday at kino with weeling *my p school classmate*... too bad i'm in a hurry or i'd say hi to u guys... lolz! and yes, bing hui... ah bing de bing gan cang zai bing gan he li... -_- though the time we spend together is short but hey thanks for being there and i had fun wif ur! =)
and... to someone out there... our relationship had been going downhill since the start of the year... perhaps we aren't meant to be together in the first place... perhaps i shouldn't have met u... but... thanks... wishing u all the best... i've loved u, hated u, cursed u, cried over u, but thanks to u i've learnt alot... i think i've finally began to step out of the hole u left me... and i know that i still love u. but probably in a different sense. so do take care and don't repeat ur mistakes again... and i'll not repeat the same mistake again too.
to another person out there... who used to be my confidate too... i'm sorry things had to turn out this way. we'll drift further apart, that's to protect the both of us. if we continue things that had been previously, it'll be far worse than now. i'm not hoping that u'll understand, i wanna let u know i'm not as good as u know me. i'm someone who's indifferent to others now. so... forget about me.
and yeap, i think that's about all... more things to reflect on... but now... i'm hungry... wahaha... maybe this is something i should reflect on too... on eating too much.. LOL... so tata for now~ shall be back soon with new year resolutions! =)
it had been a really tough year and i really wonder how i got through it... but now as i reflect, i no longer feel the pain and how torturous the year was... *probably cos now i'm sipping water and slacking in front of my lappie...*
first time stepping into the work force... though i was only working as part time, and so probably every thing had been toned down... i learnt alot of things... like how to answer phone calls, how to make phone calls *erms... as in the professional sense... i remember last time my parents ask me to call pizza hut for delivery i oso dun dare wahahaha!!!* erms.. filing is... maybe i learnt how to do it more efficiently? lolz~ basically i had been doing admin jobs... realised sales is not really for me, i can't really tahan standing for 10 hours straight... lolz~ learnt that it's quite hard to be professional some times... ie, be able to differentiate and separate feelings from doing your job...
first time earning money... the feeling is good but.. not that fulfilling as well... studying is better than working, but working brings u money? haha~ spending your hard earned money feels good... i mean... splurging on food *yummy yum... XD* and clothes and bags and accessories... now i understand y pple could be so obsessed with earning more cash... but i oso realised when working... that once u start working, and work so hard, until u have no time to stop and rest properly... i only started going out on shopping trips when i stopped working, and during my holidays, and when i'm studying... so it's not too good to work that hard but not use ur money either... i remember when i was working i think i got kinda depressed by work *no thanks to a certain boss who's such a bad example to his co-workers* and so i tried to forge all kinds of excuse to take leave even when i'm only doing part time. i can't imagine myself when i step into the workforce next time... -_-
and yes! tuition! my first tuition was this p4 kid, benedict, who i think some will be familiar with... from my entries this year... about the sentences he make for zao ju... lolz! but too bad his mum gave me the boot... i really dislike his mum... even up till now i cannot forget how she asked her son to tell me that she sacked me... i rather she tell me herself. so much for being sincere and stuff... plus i don't get courtesy from her such as getting a cup of water for tuitioning her kid. -_- and her kid is so daring to lock his tuition teacher out of his house while he takes his comfortable nap for so long. i feel his parents pamper him too much. ok lar, not that i'm a good tuition teacher or what, i oso dun feel like teaching him cos he's hard to teach and i feel i can't really help him... parents these days are just paranoid... he's only p4, and his grades are fairly good... still wanna hire tuition teacher? omg -_-
next student is koh yu... my fav j1 fmaths student... =) though she's so far from my house... and i sometimes malu myself cos i dunno how to do the questions she ask, but i feel that at least i'm helping her improve her grades... and just yesterday i managed to help her understand how to do forces questions! it feels fulfilling to know that she understands what i'm trying to convey... and we can chat with one another about what happened to us... where we went out to... some of the furnie things that happened to us.. =) so yeap! let's work hard next year and whack the fmaths paper for a lvls! XD and thanks for ur christmas card! *though i din give u any... =X*
last but not least, my quiet sec1 kid... sae qin... she's really too quiet until i think i'm preaching to a wall... ok lar at least she nods and stuff... she's smart but she's careless... and cos she's so quiet i don't really know whether she understands what i'm telling her and stuff... she's a little.. erms.. lazy lar... so kinda worried about what i can do for her next year to improve her grades... and she wanna take science in sec 3... so i guess we cannot slack at all for sec 2 streaming... jiayouz!
then... studies... first time stepping into uni... first time my school life is so slack until i'm too slack... i mean... my time table is so spaced out.. we only spend like 18 hours for lessons per week in school... that's way too slack as compared to my jc school time table! and we get to arrange our own time table... everything has to be done by ourselves... we are no longer "spoonfed" with the things we need to do... like to apply for scholarship we need to take our own initiative and stuff... *but looking at the lazy me i'm too lazy to find out the details and stuff so i let the scholarships slip from my fingers... thinking back that's so stupid of me*
and i realised that in uni the classmates u have is only for short term -- we change classmates every half a year... meaning no one actually bothers to forge strong friendships with you... pple just make use of each other, and when u're of no use to him/her they just forget abt u totally... so up till now i don't understand y my previous collegues kept telling me how their uni lives is one of the most fun times in their lives... -_- and how u can find your other half in uni... to me it's like.. bullshit... unless u're living in hall or taking some hiong cca... but for me it's non applicable... for now. =)
and my results for this year... i feel i could have done better... i feel i probably have been too slack... and next sem wouldn't be easy... computing! *omg* and jap! XD and chem! *once again cos i forgot to check my mail to ask to be exempted.. by the time i did that it was 1 week after the deadline.. damn* shet wad's happening to me?! i deserve to be slapped and stuff... -_-
and then... it's relationships...
my relationships with my family has improved... due to alot of reasons... like... now i spend more time at home... like how my father was heng to have survived the car accident unscathed... like how i realised that ur family loves u more than other pple could do... but of course the person who loves u most is yourself. so now i go out with my sis more than i go out with my friends... ironic isn't it... last time i don't even care about going out with my sis or to show concern about her results and stuff... cos i know she doesn't need me to be concerned... somehow it's different now... i guess i've changed alot... and my stupid brother... 1 head taller than me -_- irritating person... play game from the moment he opens his eyes till the moment he close his eyes to sleep every day. -_- then always complain about me dling stuff... say i hog the bandwidth when it's him. hmph. and my mum... lolz! sometimes she drives me nuts... say some things about me which made me really pissed off *like how she compares me to xiaxue that -_-... saying that we're the same. omg. plz. my ethics and hers are totally off... argh come to think of it i'm pissed off again.* but then she does some really furnies stuff oso... like she's having a vcd frenzy now.. buy so many vcds then sit down there watch vcd and order us to paint the house. -_- ok that's not furnies. lolz~ but i wonder when she'll ever finish watching all the vcds she bought.... LOL... and then my dad... i realised that whenever the car has a problem, it's always me n my dad that's present... like the accident... he was going to fetch me to tuition when it happened.. scared the hell outta me... then the tire burst... i was also on my way to toa payoh for tuition.... wth. then we helped one another and stuff... kinda weirds bah... i don't talk that much with him but the bond is there... and then he likes to stay up late till 3am in the morning to finish his work... then wake up at 6am laters to go to work... haiz... not good for health sia... see all the white hair on ur head... rest more lar! work so hard for wad. wait for me to earn money lar... -_-
and then... with friends... i feel i'm becoming closer to my fellow ntu mates... like pansy... we're closer than before... i still remember first time in ny we weren't that close in the first place... go jc closer... now even closer... weirds right? last time jc we see each other everyday... talk everyday... now we don't talk everyday... but the bond's even stronger than before? i guess our relationship matured alot bah... u don't need to be beside one another everyday every moment but u know they are there for u when u need them... =) and of course we gossip more shop more have more fun than in jc... she likes to call me up every now and then to go ktv... go shop... and go suntan! lolz! and there's shian chi, yin yin who i always disturb them in their hall... always go find them when i have long break to study wif them... haha~ then shian chi always like to cook her own meals with her neat little rice cooker *which was forbidden in the halls... LOL* all the fun stuff we did... =) and her toiletmates angela and... shet i forgot her name. -_- but i remember her face... haha now i remember her name... yvonne i think... =) they're so nice to me.... thankx peeps.. =) i don't know how else to express my gratitude and stuff... =) and xiaoli... recently we went to watch movie n suntan together... though we dun usually talk alot but somehow i feel closer to her now... =)
and my tutorial mates in school... though i don't know how far our friendships can last... but.. still happy to know u guys.... weiqing who always like to stay up late *dunno how he survive the next day in school.. but then again he always pon! LOL~* nicolas who likes to wear orange shirts... XD *and he dun wanna show me his wardrobe cos scared his wardrobe will be gone the next moment* and nicolas' roomie yong quan, fellow girlfriends xiao xuan, lixuan, shing yeong and poh lin... though for girls we aren't that close now probably cos of hols... and yes xiaoxuan probably don't know but i spotted her yesterday at kino with weeling *my p school classmate*... too bad i'm in a hurry or i'd say hi to u guys... lolz! and yes, bing hui... ah bing de bing gan cang zai bing gan he li... -_- though the time we spend together is short but hey thanks for being there and i had fun wif ur! =)
and... to someone out there... our relationship had been going downhill since the start of the year... perhaps we aren't meant to be together in the first place... perhaps i shouldn't have met u... but... thanks... wishing u all the best... i've loved u, hated u, cursed u, cried over u, but thanks to u i've learnt alot... i think i've finally began to step out of the hole u left me... and i know that i still love u. but probably in a different sense. so do take care and don't repeat ur mistakes again... and i'll not repeat the same mistake again too.
to another person out there... who used to be my confidate too... i'm sorry things had to turn out this way. we'll drift further apart, that's to protect the both of us. if we continue things that had been previously, it'll be far worse than now. i'm not hoping that u'll understand, i wanna let u know i'm not as good as u know me. i'm someone who's indifferent to others now. so... forget about me.
and yeap, i think that's about all... more things to reflect on... but now... i'm hungry... wahaha... maybe this is something i should reflect on too... on eating too much.. LOL... so tata for now~ shall be back soon with new year resolutions! =)
22 December 2005
hahahaha i've been tagged by wendy! (dunno whether good or nots hehex) so... ahems... according to the rules of the game as posted on her blog which are as follows...
Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED!" in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.
ahems... oh well usually i dun like to do this... but i think i'm bored outta my mind.. so here it goes... hope u guys wun b bored by me... =)
1. i used to like the smell of paint... until pple kept thinking i'm some kind of drug addict... like sniffing glue n stuff... oh yah, some glue smells nice too... like uhu glue... opps~ aniwae... after painting my house for like... almost a week... i declare that... the smell of paint now gives me a headache.. and i swear that the paint smells of ammonia to me now... =S
2. i LOVE orange!!! XD
3. some of the most embarrassing things in my life took place in ACJC... oh well... that randy will probably harp on it... like how i swam in the swimming pool for our first test in front of half of my whole cohort.. and i swam in circles... in the end the life guard had to jump down to save me... and he happened to be a guy! and the female lifeguard who's my friend happened to "din see me drowning"... -_- so malu... other examples... aiyah dun wan to say... shy lar... =X
4. hmmms... 2 more weird/random things about me ar... let's talk abt my dream... strangely... i don't really have a dream to say... it's not like studying to become an engineer like my dad is my dream... i think it's more like the easy way out for me... if there's things that i wanna do in the future... maybe it'll be to open a comics rental shop... for poor pple like me now to read comics at super low rates (though i think the shop in the end will close down cos of economic problems haha) other things would be like... maybe to adopt a kid or something (since i can't imagine myself getting married... intend to stay single for as long as i can... maybe until i step into my grave XD) cos kids are cute... but of course... they can be terribly annoying... haha... shall think more abt this... and oh yes! i wanna have a big house (start singing sun yanzi's wan mei de yi tian) and the walls are all orange... with big windows... preferably a quiet surroundings n stuff... oh well i'm typing too much here...
5. oh the last one! spare me the pain!!! no lar jokings~ hmmms... it's... lobster day no more! i'm peeling now... but i feel i'm not quite dark enuff.. maybe should go sun tanning again... and it's christmas soon... i wanna get presents for my family but i dunno wad to get.. haiz...
ok that's all for now, kids... (no lar jokings~) hmms... the pple i wanna tag on their blogs are... 1. my sis, 2. yuchun(paiseh i know u no time but juz for the fun of it =) and to help u destress hehex~) 3. wei jie? haha~ 4. oh man all of a sudden i realise most of the friends i'm close to dun have blogs... =X eh can i stop here? haha... erms ok i wan my sis to do this... 5. ok i wan yuchun to do this...
omg i can't believe i'm so dumb -_-... alright maybe it's cos it's 1am in the morning now.. and shet i've got tuition tml! muz sleep early tonites!!! (ok it's super early now -_-) hehex.. nitey nitez peeps =)
Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED!" in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.
ahems... oh well usually i dun like to do this... but i think i'm bored outta my mind.. so here it goes... hope u guys wun b bored by me... =)
1. i used to like the smell of paint... until pple kept thinking i'm some kind of drug addict... like sniffing glue n stuff... oh yah, some glue smells nice too... like uhu glue... opps~ aniwae... after painting my house for like... almost a week... i declare that... the smell of paint now gives me a headache.. and i swear that the paint smells of ammonia to me now... =S
2. i LOVE orange!!! XD
3. some of the most embarrassing things in my life took place in ACJC... oh well... that randy will probably harp on it... like how i swam in the swimming pool for our first test in front of half of my whole cohort.. and i swam in circles... in the end the life guard had to jump down to save me... and he happened to be a guy! and the female lifeguard who's my friend happened to "din see me drowning"... -_- so malu... other examples... aiyah dun wan to say... shy lar... =X
4. hmmms... 2 more weird/random things about me ar... let's talk abt my dream... strangely... i don't really have a dream to say... it's not like studying to become an engineer like my dad is my dream... i think it's more like the easy way out for me... if there's things that i wanna do in the future... maybe it'll be to open a comics rental shop... for poor pple like me now to read comics at super low rates (though i think the shop in the end will close down cos of economic problems haha) other things would be like... maybe to adopt a kid or something (since i can't imagine myself getting married... intend to stay single for as long as i can... maybe until i step into my grave XD) cos kids are cute... but of course... they can be terribly annoying... haha... shall think more abt this... and oh yes! i wanna have a big house (start singing sun yanzi's wan mei de yi tian) and the walls are all orange... with big windows... preferably a quiet surroundings n stuff... oh well i'm typing too much here...
5. oh the last one! spare me the pain!!! no lar jokings~ hmmms... it's... lobster day no more! i'm peeling now... but i feel i'm not quite dark enuff.. maybe should go sun tanning again... and it's christmas soon... i wanna get presents for my family but i dunno wad to get.. haiz...
ok that's all for now, kids... (no lar jokings~) hmms... the pple i wanna tag on their blogs are... 1. my sis, 2. yuchun(paiseh i know u no time but juz for the fun of it =) and to help u destress hehex~) 3. wei jie? haha~ 4. oh man all of a sudden i realise most of the friends i'm close to dun have blogs... =X eh can i stop here? haha... erms ok i wan my sis to do this... 5. ok i wan yuchun to do this...
omg i can't believe i'm so dumb -_-... alright maybe it's cos it's 1am in the morning now.. and shet i've got tuition tml! muz sleep early tonites!!! (ok it's super early now -_-) hehex.. nitey nitez peeps =)
15 December 2005
lobster day!
现在我总算明白爱一个人与被爱的差别。爱一个人算是一种责任--当你决定要爱一个人时，你就想要让他快乐，潜意识中那就是你对你爱的人的责任。但当一个人 被爱的时候，他人对自己的“责任”却可以装做什么都不懂，完全不理会。这样一来，爱一个人是痛苦的，被爱才是幸福。但是如果每个人都选择被爱，那么谁来爱 人的“傻瓜”呢？除非被爱的人开始喜欢上爱他的人，否则要让他明白爱一个人的痛，说必定比登天还难。
所以说呢，爱吗，是个麻烦的字眼。如果有选择，就不要把痛苦往身上扛。做和尚/尼姑还是最好的。 XD
that was total bullshit above. kindly ignore. =)
today is lobster day!!! me n my sis went sun tanning... it wasn't a really nice business early in the morning... first, originally i wanted me my sis n my frienz to sun tan together but my sis shy and insist that we MUZ catch the 良辰 to sun tan... meaning we MUZ reach the beach by 10 in the morning... -_- and u guyz know the piggie me always like to sleep late wake up late... so i couldn't wake up today morning... then my mum had to make all sorts of comments about my dressing... so to please her i changed my outfit, then rushed to pack my bag... forgot to bring drinks... then me n my sis got pissed with one another... she's upset cos we only got out of the house at 930 which was half an hour later than what we originally planned, and i was upset cos i had to wake up early to accomadate to her "weird need of catching the 良辰"... lolz~
then we reached the sunny beach... XD both of us eventually cooled down on our way to palawan beach... and we started spreading our mat to sun tan... only to realise that the mat we brought.. had only enuff space for... ONE person! omg. i tot the mat could allow 2 pple to lie on it. -_-''' so the two of us SQUEEZED on that 1 single mat (my sis commented that the other couples along the beach were doing the same thing, we can do it too except we're both females)
and then she said, we'll only sun tan for 1 hour.. cos she scared we'll both get sunburn which den defeats the purpose of our sun-tanning trip... which i went HAR??? are u mad? only 1 hour and u expect urself to get darker???
so we lay on our mat like 2 dead fish soaking the sun's harmful UV rays in an attempt to become 2 beautifully roasted fish. then we got bored and peered through our towels （that's used to cover our face to prevent it from getting sunburnt) and looked at the other girls along the beach... there was this girl who has such a nice skin colour and was wearing an ORANGE bikini!!! woah~ hot~~~ no lar i was only envious of the bikini.. nth else ok? lolz~
anyway... after we started sun-tanning, we realised that 1 hour... we only flipped 3 times... meaning we tanned our front twice, back once... which can never be even... so we continued lying there obstructing other pple's view of the sea for another half an hour... while my sis was complaining about the possibility of us getting sun burnt and i kept insisting that we are not even medium rare... in the end i gave up cos my... erms... bottom of my feet was starting to get red (instead of my back or somewhere else of my body) and so we went to bathe... where we met pansy n xiaoli (who were the pple i wanna suntan with initially) at the toilet after we finish bathing -_-'''
so we joined pansy xiaoli n shianchi at their mat... and xiaoli told me of how these bunch of desperate ns men tried to ask pansy to “做我朋友的朋友好吗？” twice... (lousy pickup line... pansy says) and by the second time xiaoli n shian chi were so fedup that they said at the same time "NO!!!"... it was damn hilarious... but considering pansy's figure... i mean.. y not? hahaha~
then me n my sis sat under the sun for another 1 hour... complaining how the sun is so hot today... and what nots... and i started getting hungry and ate a lot of potato chips.. hehex~
after that... we went to the toilet where pansy xiaoli n shianchi bathe.. and me n my sis started noticing how our skin is reddish... in the "pink" of health... we started applying aloe vera... my sis' neck was like roasted duck skin... ok lar that was a bit too exaggerated... but u get the point.. it's red. and so was my left shoulder...
then all of us left sentosa... and went to harbourfront... where me my sis xiaoli n shianchi couldn't resist the temptation of food... and we went to the food centre... xiaoli ate chao kuay tiao n me my sis n sc ate dessert... and even after that i had the craving for ice cream... so after that me my sis went harbourfront mall to shop, sc went home, xl went ps to shop, and pansy went to look for her weixiang dear dear... LOL!!! (i was trying to imitate the ns men asking her to be their friend's friend when she called weixiang... lolz~)
so we walked one round ard the shopping mall... bought ice cream... which was super delicious... yummy yum.. (i bet we gained weight after our sun tanning trip) before we finally buay tahan go home... and continue me n my sis' 奋斗 in maple story... lolz! and after our individual baths... we realised that our "damage" from the sun tanning trip was... really bad. we really got sun burnt... it's quite painful now... hahaha... but super fun... hehex... and we promised we'll go sun tanning again soon.... LOL *see? some pple juz don't learn =)*
hehex real tireds now... hope i can wake up early tml to paint the house ORANGE... hehehehex~ =)
所以说呢，爱吗，是个麻烦的字眼。如果有选择，就不要把痛苦往身上扛。做和尚/尼姑还是最好的。 XD
that was total bullshit above. kindly ignore. =)
today is lobster day!!! me n my sis went sun tanning... it wasn't a really nice business early in the morning... first, originally i wanted me my sis n my frienz to sun tan together but my sis shy and insist that we MUZ catch the 良辰 to sun tan... meaning we MUZ reach the beach by 10 in the morning... -_- and u guyz know the piggie me always like to sleep late wake up late... so i couldn't wake up today morning... then my mum had to make all sorts of comments about my dressing... so to please her i changed my outfit, then rushed to pack my bag... forgot to bring drinks... then me n my sis got pissed with one another... she's upset cos we only got out of the house at 930 which was half an hour later than what we originally planned, and i was upset cos i had to wake up early to accomadate to her "weird need of catching the 良辰"... lolz~
then we reached the sunny beach... XD both of us eventually cooled down on our way to palawan beach... and we started spreading our mat to sun tan... only to realise that the mat we brought.. had only enuff space for... ONE person! omg. i tot the mat could allow 2 pple to lie on it. -_-''' so the two of us SQUEEZED on that 1 single mat (my sis commented that the other couples along the beach were doing the same thing, we can do it too except we're both females)
and then she said, we'll only sun tan for 1 hour.. cos she scared we'll both get sunburn which den defeats the purpose of our sun-tanning trip... which i went HAR??? are u mad? only 1 hour and u expect urself to get darker???
so we lay on our mat like 2 dead fish soaking the sun's harmful UV rays in an attempt to become 2 beautifully roasted fish. then we got bored and peered through our towels （that's used to cover our face to prevent it from getting sunburnt) and looked at the other girls along the beach... there was this girl who has such a nice skin colour and was wearing an ORANGE bikini!!! woah~ hot~~~ no lar i was only envious of the bikini.. nth else ok? lolz~
anyway... after we started sun-tanning, we realised that 1 hour... we only flipped 3 times... meaning we tanned our front twice, back once... which can never be even... so we continued lying there obstructing other pple's view of the sea for another half an hour... while my sis was complaining about the possibility of us getting sun burnt and i kept insisting that we are not even medium rare... in the end i gave up cos my... erms... bottom of my feet was starting to get red (instead of my back or somewhere else of my body) and so we went to bathe... where we met pansy n xiaoli (who were the pple i wanna suntan with initially) at the toilet after we finish bathing -_-'''
so we joined pansy xiaoli n shianchi at their mat... and xiaoli told me of how these bunch of desperate ns men tried to ask pansy to “做我朋友的朋友好吗？” twice... (lousy pickup line... pansy says) and by the second time xiaoli n shian chi were so fedup that they said at the same time "NO!!!"... it was damn hilarious... but considering pansy's figure... i mean.. y not? hahaha~
then me n my sis sat under the sun for another 1 hour... complaining how the sun is so hot today... and what nots... and i started getting hungry and ate a lot of potato chips.. hehex~
after that... we went to the toilet where pansy xiaoli n shianchi bathe.. and me n my sis started noticing how our skin is reddish... in the "pink" of health... we started applying aloe vera... my sis' neck was like roasted duck skin... ok lar that was a bit too exaggerated... but u get the point.. it's red. and so was my left shoulder...
then all of us left sentosa... and went to harbourfront... where me my sis xiaoli n shianchi couldn't resist the temptation of food... and we went to the food centre... xiaoli ate chao kuay tiao n me my sis n sc ate dessert... and even after that i had the craving for ice cream... so after that me my sis went harbourfront mall to shop, sc went home, xl went ps to shop, and pansy went to look for her weixiang dear dear... LOL!!! (i was trying to imitate the ns men asking her to be their friend's friend when she called weixiang... lolz~)
so we walked one round ard the shopping mall... bought ice cream... which was super delicious... yummy yum.. (i bet we gained weight after our sun tanning trip) before we finally buay tahan go home... and continue me n my sis' 奋斗 in maple story... lolz! and after our individual baths... we realised that our "damage" from the sun tanning trip was... really bad. we really got sun burnt... it's quite painful now... hahaha... but super fun... hehex... and we promised we'll go sun tanning again soon.... LOL *see? some pple juz don't learn =)*
hehex real tireds now... hope i can wake up early tml to paint the house ORANGE... hehehehex~ =)
10 December 2005
可惜不是你
歌手：梁静茹
i wish u were as sweet and tender as u were to other girls...
这一刻 突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天 今天同时在放映
我这句语气 原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点 骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
那一段 我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你 已走进别人风景
多希望 也有 星光的投影
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你 牵过我的手 还能温暖我胸口
歌手：梁静茹
i wish u were as sweet and tender as u were to other girls...
这一刻 突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天 今天同时在放映
我这句语气 原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点 骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
那一段 我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你 已走进别人风景
多希望 也有 星光的投影
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你 牵过我的手 还能温暖我胸口
07 December 2005
some people simply drive you mad.
and tonite i'm so frustrated until the argument kept running through my head, flipping here and there as though it's becoming some sort of fried egg... making me more and more pissed off.
some things to start off with...
in a relationship... be it friendship or what nots... it is important to have trust. when u no longer trust what others say, then there's no point in having the relationship isn't it. so when your friends try to tell you something about themselves and you don't believe them, then i guess that's too bad about it. it's either: 1. they are being untruthful, or 2. you are being overly suspicious. and of course you should always clarify with them first. it's unfair to jump to conclusions without letting the parties involved have their say in the matter. so if option 1, they are being untruthful, then good for you, you have uncovered their secret. but what if it's 2? you might end up misunderstanding your friends completely... meaning u might lose your friendship because of this little misunderstanding which u cannot solve by yourself (but might be resolved by all parties involved)
secondly, there is something which i want to clarify. sometimes people are just not in the mood for certain things at certain times... for example, for someone who had just broken up with their lover was still in mourning, and you shouldn't have the cheek to ask him/her to go out with some other people whom they don't even know for a date. especially if they are those rather conservative kind.
and sometimes, certain problems can't be solved just because you say it. it takes more than that.
and as outsiders who are not involved in certain issues, it is hard to grasp the feelings of those in the situation... as such, we should try not to impose our opinion on them because we hardly understand fully how they feel in that situation...
thirdly, there are differences between best friends between 2 pple of the opposite sex and being lovers. perhaps the best friends could have gone to a stage where the communication between them is almost similar to that of lovers, but...
1. (as suggested by randy) lovers have a lot of physical contact, best friends don't.
2. lovers call each other by their pet names... you don't really call your best friends (maybe for girl-girl best friends yes...) by some mushy nicknames.
3. you don't flirt that much with your best friend than your lover.
4. and etc etc. the list goes on.
so get these things clear. i hate to make things black and white like that, but i'm really at my wits end. and when someone tries to explain something to you, try to listen to them till the very end... and if pple who are usually calm and composed all get angry at you suddenly... there should be a good reason y that is so. so maybe you should think about what you said or did that make them so upset.
i'm ready to hear what you have to say, so be ready to hear what i have to say. your opinion may not always be the truth.
and tonite i'm so frustrated until the argument kept running through my head, flipping here and there as though it's becoming some sort of fried egg... making me more and more pissed off.
some things to start off with...
in a relationship... be it friendship or what nots... it is important to have trust. when u no longer trust what others say, then there's no point in having the relationship isn't it. so when your friends try to tell you something about themselves and you don't believe them, then i guess that's too bad about it. it's either: 1. they are being untruthful, or 2. you are being overly suspicious. and of course you should always clarify with them first. it's unfair to jump to conclusions without letting the parties involved have their say in the matter. so if option 1, they are being untruthful, then good for you, you have uncovered their secret. but what if it's 2? you might end up misunderstanding your friends completely... meaning u might lose your friendship because of this little misunderstanding which u cannot solve by yourself (but might be resolved by all parties involved)
secondly, there is something which i want to clarify. sometimes people are just not in the mood for certain things at certain times... for example, for someone who had just broken up with their lover was still in mourning, and you shouldn't have the cheek to ask him/her to go out with some other people whom they don't even know for a date. especially if they are those rather conservative kind.
and sometimes, certain problems can't be solved just because you say it. it takes more than that.
and as outsiders who are not involved in certain issues, it is hard to grasp the feelings of those in the situation... as such, we should try not to impose our opinion on them because we hardly understand fully how they feel in that situation...
thirdly, there are differences between best friends between 2 pple of the opposite sex and being lovers. perhaps the best friends could have gone to a stage where the communication between them is almost similar to that of lovers, but...
1. (as suggested by randy) lovers have a lot of physical contact, best friends don't.
2. lovers call each other by their pet names... you don't really call your best friends (maybe for girl-girl best friends yes...) by some mushy nicknames.
3. you don't flirt that much with your best friend than your lover.
4. and etc etc. the list goes on.
so get these things clear. i hate to make things black and white like that, but i'm really at my wits end. and when someone tries to explain something to you, try to listen to them till the very end... and if pple who are usually calm and composed all get angry at you suddenly... there should be a good reason y that is so. so maybe you should think about what you said or did that make them so upset.
i'm ready to hear what you have to say, so be ready to hear what i have to say. your opinion may not always be the truth.
05 December 2005
perhaps only late at night will ur true feelings be exposed.
i realised that i still missed you a little.
perhaps the time that has passed is not yet sufficient.
i might not have the same feelings 1 year laters.
perhaps music of the late night stirs the strings of the heart once again.
we're probably waiting for that same flower.
perhaps when the next winter comes the heart shall thaw.
i'm tireds and i know it. i'm juz being hyper active the whole of today and so now my batteries r running low. juz a few random thoughts in my mind... christmas is coming! (should be celebrating wif my family as usual, though not alone like past years) and sushi dinner tml!!! (omg my poor wallet) plus sun tanning on thurs (lobster day) and sat is pansy's audition for impressario (promised i'll go down to root for her... maybe with pom poms n huge posters) and class outing (haha someone out there u better remember this. *stares*) and then sun is tuition again... wow upcoming week sounds bz... which is good, can take my mind off things and help me focus better and sleep better... and i miss the beach! my sis' bdae this thurs! and i haven't figured wad to get for her prezzie!!! sheesh and she's happily in camp, returning tml afternoon or something... should i get wad's on her wishlist(i think her class pple will get it for her actually) hmms i think i should get her something exotic... *heh heh heh... evil grinz ^_^ v *
wish there's snow in singapore... no idea y... makes me feel melachonic... can play snowball fights... build snowman... wear those thick wollen things... (hey i neber wear that b4 k... swaku so wad... i wanna do that hehehex~) geez i think i'm sounding more n more like a bitch... lolz~ maybe i'm one?
today's a tiring day... kept talking the whole day until my throat is totally parched... no amt of water can redeem it now... i think i'll fall sick soon again.. maybe sore throat? lolz tml shall continue with my water parade... my friends n collegues complain that i drink a lot and very fast... like 1 hour can finish 1 water bottle... those 1 litre kind... not the 500ml ice mountain water bottle kind... yar i'm a water barrel or toilet bowl that only accepts fluid... solids i'm a little more particular...
yesterday... went my best friend's house... watched her coursemates play monopoly (in which i became banker and her two friends crazily forged an alliance and signed treaty with me as witness but in the end they went totally bankrupt!!! so hilarious!!!) and after that we all stone in front of ps2... watching me and my best friend's friend playing this kart racing game... cos we all noobs neber play b4 keep falling into those weird pits... we're the source of entertainment for my best friend her sis n the other friend... lolz~ ok i think i'm confusing pple reading this entry with my this friend that friend her friend thingy... oh well...
then after that went to shop for groceries wif my mum... went to qiao zha her (cos she wanted me to come since my sis at camp... complain cannot carry all the groceries... made me wait for her inside supermarket for so long neber pick up handphone... make me angry... heh heh heh) so i bought a lot of tidbits n she has to pay... muahahahaha.. i think i bought enuff for me to eat for more than 2 weeks... lolz~
wan me to recall the days before sat? nah i dun wan to... sleep time!
zZzZzZzZzzzzzz....................
i realised that i still missed you a little.
perhaps the time that has passed is not yet sufficient.
i might not have the same feelings 1 year laters.
perhaps music of the late night stirs the strings of the heart once again.
we're probably waiting for that same flower.
perhaps when the next winter comes the heart shall thaw.
i'm tireds and i know it. i'm juz being hyper active the whole of today and so now my batteries r running low. juz a few random thoughts in my mind... christmas is coming! (should be celebrating wif my family as usual, though not alone like past years) and sushi dinner tml!!! (omg my poor wallet) plus sun tanning on thurs (lobster day) and sat is pansy's audition for impressario (promised i'll go down to root for her... maybe with pom poms n huge posters) and class outing (haha someone out there u better remember this. *stares*) and then sun is tuition again... wow upcoming week sounds bz... which is good, can take my mind off things and help me focus better and sleep better... and i miss the beach! my sis' bdae this thurs! and i haven't figured wad to get for her prezzie!!! sheesh and she's happily in camp, returning tml afternoon or something... should i get wad's on her wishlist(i think her class pple will get it for her actually) hmms i think i should get her something exotic... *heh heh heh... evil grinz ^_^ v *
wish there's snow in singapore... no idea y... makes me feel melachonic... can play snowball fights... build snowman... wear those thick wollen things... (hey i neber wear that b4 k... swaku so wad... i wanna do that hehehex~) geez i think i'm sounding more n more like a bitch... lolz~ maybe i'm one?
today's a tiring day... kept talking the whole day until my throat is totally parched... no amt of water can redeem it now... i think i'll fall sick soon again.. maybe sore throat? lolz tml shall continue with my water parade... my friends n collegues complain that i drink a lot and very fast... like 1 hour can finish 1 water bottle... those 1 litre kind... not the 500ml ice mountain water bottle kind... yar i'm a water barrel or toilet bowl that only accepts fluid... solids i'm a little more particular...
yesterday... went my best friend's house... watched her coursemates play monopoly (in which i became banker and her two friends crazily forged an alliance and signed treaty with me as witness but in the end they went totally bankrupt!!! so hilarious!!!) and after that we all stone in front of ps2... watching me and my best friend's friend playing this kart racing game... cos we all noobs neber play b4 keep falling into those weird pits... we're the source of entertainment for my best friend her sis n the other friend... lolz~ ok i think i'm confusing pple reading this entry with my this friend that friend her friend thingy... oh well...
then after that went to shop for groceries wif my mum... went to qiao zha her (cos she wanted me to come since my sis at camp... complain cannot carry all the groceries... made me wait for her inside supermarket for so long neber pick up handphone... make me angry... heh heh heh) so i bought a lot of tidbits n she has to pay... muahahahaha.. i think i bought enuff for me to eat for more than 2 weeks... lolz~
wan me to recall the days before sat? nah i dun wan to... sleep time!
zZzZzZzZzzzzzz....................
03 December 2005
today... is the day for posting lyrics!!! haha no lar... juz that i bought s.h.e's new album (at only 12+!!!! muahahaha good buy XD) so yeap... here u r... a few of my fav songs below... =)
不想长大
曲：左安安 词：施人诚 演唱：S.H.E.
为什么就是找不到不谢的玫瑰花
为什么遇见的王子都不够王子啊
我并不期盼他会有玻璃鞋和白马
我惊讶的是情话竟然会变成谎话
为什么幸福的青鸟要飞的那么高
为什么苹果和拥抱都可能是毒药
我从没想过有了他还孤单的可怕
我突然想起从前陪我那个洋娃娃
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后世界就没童话
我不想我不想不想长大
我宁愿永远都笨又傻
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后我就会失去他
我深爱的他 深爱我的他
已经变得不像他
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后世界就没童话
我不想我不想不想长大
我宁愿永远都笨又傻
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后我就会失去他
我深爱的他 深爱我的他
怎么会爱上别的他
为什么水晶球里面看不出他在变
为什么结局没欢笑而是泪流满面
我愿意在他回来前继续安静沉睡
但他已去到别座城堡吻另一双嘴
为什么对流星许愿却从来没实现
为什么英勇的骑士会比龙还危险
我当然知道这世界不会完美无瑕
我只求爱情能够不要那么样复杂
让我们回去从前好不好
天真愚蠢快乐美好
天灰
曲：冯士哲 词：施人诚 演唱：S.H.E.
如果你不再出现 我的世界 还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间 让我们试验 什么叫永远
想念变成怀念 心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切 你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现 我会不会 觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间 总要把诺言 一点点摧毁
星星之火
曲：曹格 词：陈信延 演唱：S.H.E.
女孩 越过小路爬上了山丘
那时的她 还不懂为什么
萤火虫都不动
停驻在夜空 点亮了小小宇宙
女孩 慢慢长大却还是懵懂
那时的她 还不懂为什么
大人们能抽空
为失恋喝杯酒 却没空看看星空
“不要 不要 忘了做过的梦”
天上星星 仿佛听她述说 兴奋地闪烁
我要变成那一颗星星 整夜都亮晶晶
不怕阴暗的黑影 骄傲地闪不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮丽到月儿都妒忌
灿烂的一颗星星 一生也亮晶晶
因为夜归的背影 有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇气就在你手心
女孩 不再单纯却不够成熟
这时的她 虽然懂为什么
美丽总有哀愁
每当有泪儿流 却回到那个宇宙
女孩 有天将会到哪里出走
哪时的她 总会问为什么
一个梦那么重
只希望放弃前 能想起那片星空
“不要 不要 忘了做过的梦”
天上星星 彷佛听她述说 兴奋地闪烁
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Believe, believe, believe, you are the only star.
我要变成那一颗星星 整夜都亮晶晶
不怕阴暗的黑影 骄傲地闪不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮丽到月儿都妒忌
灿烂的一颗星星 一生也亮晶晶
因为夜归的背影 有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇气就在你手心
不想长大
曲：左安安 词：施人诚 演唱：S.H.E.
为什么就是找不到不谢的玫瑰花
为什么遇见的王子都不够王子啊
我并不期盼他会有玻璃鞋和白马
我惊讶的是情话竟然会变成谎话
为什么幸福的青鸟要飞的那么高
为什么苹果和拥抱都可能是毒药
我从没想过有了他还孤单的可怕
我突然想起从前陪我那个洋娃娃
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后世界就没童话
我不想我不想不想长大
我宁愿永远都笨又傻
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后我就会失去他
我深爱的他 深爱我的他
已经变得不像他
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后世界就没童话
我不想我不想不想长大
我宁愿永远都笨又傻
我不想我不想不想长大
长大后我就会失去他
我深爱的他 深爱我的他
怎么会爱上别的他
为什么水晶球里面看不出他在变
为什么结局没欢笑而是泪流满面
我愿意在他回来前继续安静沉睡
但他已去到别座城堡吻另一双嘴
为什么对流星许愿却从来没实现
为什么英勇的骑士会比龙还危险
我当然知道这世界不会完美无瑕
我只求爱情能够不要那么样复杂
让我们回去从前好不好
天真愚蠢快乐美好
天灰
曲：冯士哲 词：施人诚 演唱：S.H.E.
如果你不再出现 我的世界 还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间 让我们试验 什么叫永远
想念变成怀念 心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切 你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现 我会不会 觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间 总要把诺言 一点点摧毁
星星之火
曲：曹格 词：陈信延 演唱：S.H.E.
女孩 越过小路爬上了山丘
那时的她 还不懂为什么
萤火虫都不动
停驻在夜空 点亮了小小宇宙
女孩 慢慢长大却还是懵懂
那时的她 还不懂为什么
大人们能抽空
为失恋喝杯酒 却没空看看星空
“不要 不要 忘了做过的梦”
天上星星 仿佛听她述说 兴奋地闪烁
我要变成那一颗星星 整夜都亮晶晶
不怕阴暗的黑影 骄傲地闪不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮丽到月儿都妒忌
灿烂的一颗星星 一生也亮晶晶
因为夜归的背影 有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇气就在你手心
女孩 不再单纯却不够成熟
这时的她 虽然懂为什么
美丽总有哀愁
每当有泪儿流 却回到那个宇宙
女孩 有天将会到哪里出走
哪时的她 总会问为什么
一个梦那么重
只希望放弃前 能想起那片星空
“不要 不要 忘了做过的梦”
天上星星 彷佛听她述说 兴奋地闪烁
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Believe, believe, believe, you are the only star.
我要变成那一颗星星 整夜都亮晶晶
不怕阴暗的黑影 骄傲地闪不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮丽到月儿都妒忌
灿烂的一颗星星 一生也亮晶晶
因为夜归的背影 有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇气就在你手心
02 December 2005
sometimes i wonder if i'm juz being too nosy... perhaps things would be much better off when left alone on their own...
some things just do not wait... time for instance... time trickles away slowly even as i am typing this entry and u readers out there are reading... chances gone can never be retrieved...
sometimes i really wonder if the things i do... are they just being plain silly or what nots... i usually do things without thinking deeply into the consequences... some of the things i say, the things i do... i hope it doesn't cause any misunderstandings, but if it does, i'm sorry for i had no intention of doing so... i'm juz too rash and do things when it comes to my mind without giving it much thought... just like the speech from my mouth... i say wadeva that comes to my mind without holding much back... if i have offended anyone or hurt anyone, it wasn't on purpose.
perhaps indeed i'm better off left alone.
today... went to watch harry potter and the goblet of fire (after a long time since its release) must say that one day's worth of reading content squeezed n condensed into a 2+ hour movie is no joke... i left the theatre brain dead... lolz~ and i guess for those who didn't read the book they probably wouldn't understand everything that was going on in the movie... i kinda wished they split it into 2 movies, probably that would have given the movie a better presentation of the original text... but i think... guess not... the actors would have been too old to finish acting the whole harry potter series if that happened... lolz~
hermione is so so chio!!! n ron's becoming more and more shuai... and he's hilarious... lolz~ cho wasn't that bad looking as some of the other guys were saying... i tot she's quite chio... lolz~ oh well... i guess my taste's different from the guys... lolz~
and they toned down on a lot of things!!!! like the third task, the truth about mad-eye moody... geez... all the big climaxes and stuff and they actually toned it down??? haiz~ i guess can't really help it... it was a good attempt for a making a short movie out of such a long and thick text in comparison...
haiz... my mind's not working properly again... shall b back soon... sighz~
some things just do not wait... time for instance... time trickles away slowly even as i am typing this entry and u readers out there are reading... chances gone can never be retrieved...
sometimes i really wonder if the things i do... are they just being plain silly or what nots... i usually do things without thinking deeply into the consequences... some of the things i say, the things i do... i hope it doesn't cause any misunderstandings, but if it does, i'm sorry for i had no intention of doing so... i'm juz too rash and do things when it comes to my mind without giving it much thought... just like the speech from my mouth... i say wadeva that comes to my mind without holding much back... if i have offended anyone or hurt anyone, it wasn't on purpose.
perhaps indeed i'm better off left alone.
today... went to watch harry potter and the goblet of fire (after a long time since its release) must say that one day's worth of reading content squeezed n condensed into a 2+ hour movie is no joke... i left the theatre brain dead... lolz~ and i guess for those who didn't read the book they probably wouldn't understand everything that was going on in the movie... i kinda wished they split it into 2 movies, probably that would have given the movie a better presentation of the original text... but i think... guess not... the actors would have been too old to finish acting the whole harry potter series if that happened... lolz~
hermione is so so chio!!! n ron's becoming more and more shuai... and he's hilarious... lolz~ cho wasn't that bad looking as some of the other guys were saying... i tot she's quite chio... lolz~ oh well... i guess my taste's different from the guys... lolz~
and they toned down on a lot of things!!!! like the third task, the truth about mad-eye moody... geez... all the big climaxes and stuff and they actually toned it down??? haiz~ i guess can't really help it... it was a good attempt for a making a short movie out of such a long and thick text in comparison...
haiz... my mind's not working properly again... shall b back soon... sighz~
30 November 2005
it's been a long time since i last posted... felt like eternity... oh well i was "busy" with exams (it ended on 25 nov with my corpse in the coffin, but oh well due to some strange reason i'm sitting in front of my lappie now... probably cos i died twice already - once during materials science exam on 20th, the other was the econs paper on 25th itself)
been reading books non stop, reading manga, watching tv, rotting, out shopping with my sis for her prom stuff... it's only been 4 days and i'm bored. pansy told me she's now working in an office now and i'm quite lazy to go find myself a job... afterall i don't know who would employ a part timer for only 1 month to help out with filing... unless i go into sales (but then again... my poor poor legs) sighz~ i know i shouldn't be so picky about jobs... i'm juz a lazy bum who thinks she isn't fit for work. *slap slap slap*
i guess some things just wouldn't change.
time passes really quickly... almost a year gone... i think back upon the things that happened almost one year ago... it felt so far... so distant... when i think back upon it i felt happy... blissful... but now back to reality. *ooo... the thunder just roared outside my house... apparently the thunder god agrees with me* the truth is never beautiful. u have to move on with life and stop thinking about the past. no one cares actually. they say that they'll remember about the things in the past... all the happy things... and when things turn out bad, they'll shut themselves up and forget about everything. things move on. sooner or later when u ask them about it again they might even not recall at all. it would be like something foreign to them.
people only remember the things they wanna remember. that's human nature.
okies back to what i had been doing... i've re-read n rewatched howl's moving castle quite a few times by now and i muz say... the story is just so captivating, be it the movie version or the original story... (i know it's children's books... so?) and now i'm reading chronicles of narnia cos i don't wanna be embarrassed when i discuss this book with my tutee after she finishes reading the book i'm going to lend her (the lion, the witch and the wardrobe) and ask her to do a book review... lolz~ i'm juz trying to be slack... not to teach her so much new stuff, but to let her read more books and to discuss about the books... last sun i got her to write an english compo entitled "the day a fairy came knocking on my door"... her story was... (in my opinion... geez i hope she doesn't blog surf and see my blog) quite humourous... childish i would say... and to a certain extent... taking into account that she's a sec1 student going to be sec 2.... maybe... she read too many romance novels... lolz~
since i've got the time... i hope she doesn't mind if i post her story online, after my editing of grammer errors, that is...
erms... this was a highly edited version of the original story. the grammer was... -_- and it's amazing how young girls these days are so... proactive and want to marry someone by first sight... and a prince somemore! of faries! wow... i guess that's wad they meant by pple maturing so much earlier these days... she's only sec 1!!! when i was her age i wouldn't have thought of this kind of things... -_- oh well...
and yes... my typing skills have greatly deproved... *bursts into tears* i shall type more these days i guess... maybe type out the whole of howl's moving castle novel into my comp or something... -_-'''
it's still raining out there... i guess the rain wouldn't stop afterall... it will continue to fall... until one day probably when everything dries up then it shall cease...
been reading books non stop, reading manga, watching tv, rotting, out shopping with my sis for her prom stuff... it's only been 4 days and i'm bored. pansy told me she's now working in an office now and i'm quite lazy to go find myself a job... afterall i don't know who would employ a part timer for only 1 month to help out with filing... unless i go into sales (but then again... my poor poor legs) sighz~ i know i shouldn't be so picky about jobs... i'm juz a lazy bum who thinks she isn't fit for work. *slap slap slap*
i guess some things just wouldn't change.
time passes really quickly... almost a year gone... i think back upon the things that happened almost one year ago... it felt so far... so distant... when i think back upon it i felt happy... blissful... but now back to reality. *ooo... the thunder just roared outside my house... apparently the thunder god agrees with me* the truth is never beautiful. u have to move on with life and stop thinking about the past. no one cares actually. they say that they'll remember about the things in the past... all the happy things... and when things turn out bad, they'll shut themselves up and forget about everything. things move on. sooner or later when u ask them about it again they might even not recall at all. it would be like something foreign to them.
people only remember the things they wanna remember. that's human nature.
okies back to what i had been doing... i've re-read n rewatched howl's moving castle quite a few times by now and i muz say... the story is just so captivating, be it the movie version or the original story... (i know it's children's books... so?) and now i'm reading chronicles of narnia cos i don't wanna be embarrassed when i discuss this book with my tutee after she finishes reading the book i'm going to lend her (the lion, the witch and the wardrobe) and ask her to do a book review... lolz~ i'm juz trying to be slack... not to teach her so much new stuff, but to let her read more books and to discuss about the books... last sun i got her to write an english compo entitled "the day a fairy came knocking on my door"... her story was... (in my opinion... geez i hope she doesn't blog surf and see my blog) quite humourous... childish i would say... and to a certain extent... taking into account that she's a sec1 student going to be sec 2.... maybe... she read too many romance novels... lolz~
since i've got the time... i hope she doesn't mind if i post her story online, after my editing of grammer errors, that is...
The Day a Fairy Came Knocking on my Door
It was a warm Saturday afternoon when I had just finished bathing. I sat down at my desk and started on my homework when I heard someone knocking on the door. My parents were not in, so I went to answer it. I saw a lady in pink with furry wings and holding a wand. She spoke the moment i opened the door in a hurried manner, "Hi! I am the fairy of the palace and I need your help. Can you please come with me to the palace and I will tell you more details." I hesitated for a moment and thought whether I should go with her or not. In the end, I decided that I should go with her because she needed my help and I should assist her.
We walked for a very long journey and finally reached the palace. The palace was huge and beautiful. It was pink and had many small windows. As we entered the palace, I found out that the entrance to the palace was a big archway without a door. We went inside and it was full of guards. We ventured further until we reached the hall. The King and Queen were sitting inside and I saw a boy sitting beside them. He was very charming and was wearing a small crown. Then i realised that he was the prince. I kept staring at him and wanted to marry him. The King saw that and said, "If you can fulfil my request, I will let him marry you." I agreed and he continued, "The palace is going to be demolished by the King of the humans. You have to stop him from doing this." I understood how they felt when their own palace was going to be gone and agreed to their request. I went to find the King of the humans. As it was far away from here, I took a day to reach there. I walked and walked and saw that the sky was getting darker. I decided to sleep in the forests.
The next afternoon, I reached my destination. I told the King what I wanted to do. I pleaded him not to demolish the palace as the faries had no place to go after that. He finaly agreed and I went back to the palace of the faries.
The faries and King heard that and thanked me profusely for helping them. They fulfilled their promise and I was to be married to the prince. I went home and told this happy news to my parents.
erms... this was a highly edited version of the original story. the grammer was... -_- and it's amazing how young girls these days are so... proactive and want to marry someone by first sight... and a prince somemore! of faries! wow... i guess that's wad they meant by pple maturing so much earlier these days... she's only sec 1!!! when i was her age i wouldn't have thought of this kind of things... -_- oh well...
and yes... my typing skills have greatly deproved... *bursts into tears* i shall type more these days i guess... maybe type out the whole of howl's moving castle novel into my comp or something... -_-'''
it's still raining out there... i guess the rain wouldn't stop afterall... it will continue to fall... until one day probably when everything dries up then it shall cease...
15 November 2005
these days as i blog-surf ard pple who are same age as me, all girls, who just left jc last year and now struggling with uni life... i see entries talking about how much they missed their respective jc lives... talking about the good old times where they had... wishing they could turn back time...
as i read about these... some which are shared experiences... these left a smile on my face... but.
i realise i don't feel the same way as they do.
probably because there's nothing much for me to remember from the good old jc days. i admit they were fun... full of tears joy laughter. there were days of sunshine and storms. but perhaps it was due to those storms we no longer remember those bright shiny days?
or perhaps i'm the only one who became immune to all these kind of nostalgic feelings.
i know that we cannot turn back time. there's no turning back at all. there's no point in looking back, wishing that ur life was like before, wishing that things didn't have to change. because in the end u still have to face the cold hard reality that the past was gone forever. some argue that we always will have those memories hidden in the depths of our heart. ah, yes, good for u. perhaps mine is hidden so deep until i cannot see sense or feel it anymore, no more feelings of joy or hurt.
perhaps it's better this way.
i'm fine and happy with my current life. i know my family loves me and for the first time in my life, my relationship with my family members are starting to get better... i've also got a bunch of true friends whom i know will be there for me when i need them. *okies this sounds selfish lolz* perhaps it is because i don't see a point in trying to revert to the past, because i'm content with what i have now, that's y i don't seek to look back and think of the old days.
i'm sure those peeps whom i've browsed through their blogs have friends who care for them. don't dwell so much on the past. learn to move on, and pple around you will help u along.
perhaps this is the reason y i hate myself for being so indifferent to things.
as i read about these... some which are shared experiences... these left a smile on my face... but.
i realise i don't feel the same way as they do.
probably because there's nothing much for me to remember from the good old jc days. i admit they were fun... full of tears joy laughter. there were days of sunshine and storms. but perhaps it was due to those storms we no longer remember those bright shiny days?
or perhaps i'm the only one who became immune to all these kind of nostalgic feelings.
i know that we cannot turn back time. there's no turning back at all. there's no point in looking back, wishing that ur life was like before, wishing that things didn't have to change. because in the end u still have to face the cold hard reality that the past was gone forever. some argue that we always will have those memories hidden in the depths of our heart. ah, yes, good for u. perhaps mine is hidden so deep until i cannot see sense or feel it anymore, no more feelings of joy or hurt.
perhaps it's better this way.
i'm fine and happy with my current life. i know my family loves me and for the first time in my life, my relationship with my family members are starting to get better... i've also got a bunch of true friends whom i know will be there for me when i need them. *okies this sounds selfish lolz* perhaps it is because i don't see a point in trying to revert to the past, because i'm content with what i have now, that's y i don't seek to look back and think of the old days.
i'm sure those peeps whom i've browsed through their blogs have friends who care for them. don't dwell so much on the past. learn to move on, and pple around you will help u along.
perhaps this is the reason y i hate myself for being so indifferent to things.
12 November 2005
07 November 2005
12:14 in the morning *according to my comp's clock* and i'm still online procrastinating about studying for life science exam in another 24+9.5 hours time... when i'm not even through my 4th lecture out of total of 12 lectures for the entire exam. tell me wad the heck am i doing in this world.
i'm tired frustrated totally siandeds with no sense of goal purpose. i juz had a nap before dinner n i felt refreshed after it, but after an hour i'm back to the sleepy drowsy me. anime no longer work wonders...
listening to songs, drifting aimlessly while my fellow tutorial mates have probably finished studying all the chapters. what the shit am i doing here.
yar i'm procrastinating. y do i have to take life science... -_-'''
i swear i'm going to burn these notes after the exam. -_-
life science simply sux. stop forcing engine pple from taking it when it's not absolutely necessary. make it an option or something. or someting recreational. life science is fun to study but not fun to learn for exam when students have absolutely no idea what u're asking about and when u ask the most redundant things. like who came up with the lock and key hypothesis. or how clicking a button at the genetic database thingy will lead u to which other database. or what "transcription" means in latin. like we're really going to need to use or know it. even if some of us do, that would be the minority.
absolute crap. kindly ignore me. -_-
i'm tired frustrated totally siandeds with no sense of goal purpose. i juz had a nap before dinner n i felt refreshed after it, but after an hour i'm back to the sleepy drowsy me. anime no longer work wonders...
listening to songs, drifting aimlessly while my fellow tutorial mates have probably finished studying all the chapters. what the shit am i doing here.
yar i'm procrastinating. y do i have to take life science... -_-'''
i swear i'm going to burn these notes after the exam. -_-
life science simply sux. stop forcing engine pple from taking it when it's not absolutely necessary. make it an option or something. or someting recreational. life science is fun to study but not fun to learn for exam when students have absolutely no idea what u're asking about and when u ask the most redundant things. like who came up with the lock and key hypothesis. or how clicking a button at the genetic database thingy will lead u to which other database. or what "transcription" means in latin. like we're really going to need to use or know it. even if some of us do, that would be the minority.
absolute crap. kindly ignore me. -_-
31 October 2005
30 October 2005
WARNING : This seriously long post contains nothing else but ABSOLUTE crap. To those readers who were looking for some intelluctual discussion on some big life philosophy, i'm deeply sorry cos unfortunately, sotongs only have some black fluid in their head for squirting n vandalising places, instead of brains. cheerios~ XD
Today someone *whom i feel i shouldn't name in case anything happens to him/her... wahaha~ jokings~* asked me an extremely intruiging question that ties to the very fundemental existence of human beings -- are humans born as loners or as born as part of a pack... just like wolves...
so in this superbly boring entry, i shall try to answer this question. firstly, i would say... humans are born loners. just think about it... we come to the world as one and only one... we usually come out from a mother's womb alone. *yar yar... go ahead and argue how the surgeon could have carried a pair of twins out from the mother's womb at the same time cos she's having caesarean... it would be a surprise how the mother can survive after child birth... -_-'''*
however, the opposition would suggest that when we are born, we are usually born into a family, so we are actually part of a community as compared to loner. but let me stress... we're probably born into a family because at such a young age when babies only know how to cry and wait to be fed, they definitely have no means of fending for themselves. and that's when the so called "community" comes in... the community serves as help for these hapless beings... to help them fulfil their daily needs, covering up each other's weakness to produce the "optimal" outcome by combining each individual's talents. so in short, we are just there for each other to be used for our personal gain.
and this ties in with how all humans are selfish in nature. no matter how "selfless" u appear to others, can u deny that u actually gain from it? be it direct personal hidden materialistic n physical gains, or just making u slightly happier... u still gain from it. u do it because u want to feel happy helping others. u do it because by doing it ur relationship with others would be better off. directly or indirectly all humans are still fishmongers by nature.
in fact, in my opinion, being selfish is a loner behaviour to a certain extent.
and yes! of course, when ur all grown up, u can choose to revert to ur original instinct - to be loner, or to remain as part of a community. in this case, sad to say, most of us remain as part of the huge "family". no one would want to part with the benefits being in a group brings... since things are done collectively, there are always free riders who would try to put themselves better off... slacking around while the other hardworking ones slog their lives off.
and so, if u're a loner, it might actually be a symbol of power. because u no longer need to depend on others to live on. u are not like those weakling parasites. u can survive on ur own.
but then again, loners does not equate to being someone powerful. sometimes it's a form of insecurity. just like squall for example *hahaha fav example* look at him... he's a loner but the reason y is because he's afraid of losing the things he might gain from joining others in their big gang.
ok... so i am crapping abt the loners having power. -_-'''
but but but but but... when we post this question (whether pple are born loners or part of a "wolf pack") to some helpless romantics... unfortunately they don't choose option a -- humans are loners by instinct... neither is it option b -- humans are part of a "pack". their answer would be.... *drum rolls* option c!!!! humans are born into this world as two halves!!! and the purpose of ur life is to search for ur other half!!! wow!!! *applause plz.*
ahems. i would say... that the above is all bull shit. cos in my opinion... my answer would be option d -- otherwise... and in this case... "otherwise" means it depends on my mood. and it so happens that my mood recently belong to the loner category. meaning when my mood changes for the better i might reconsider changing my opinion and say that humans live in a community by instinct. *and of course if i'm crazily in love i'll say i'm searching for my other half. -_-'''*
and opps i almost spelt loners as losers. -_-'''
---end of crappy post---
here's the less crappy part of my post today... yesh! today i survived another day! muahahahaha~ *opens bottle of champagne to celebrate*
haiz all of a sudden i crave grape sparkling juice.... =X
my mum n my sis are absolutely crazy... the 王子变青蛙 show is extremely nice... i absolutely love dang ou!!! but but but but but they need not have to buy the vcd!!! and that stupid vcd *or superbly nice* is extremely ex!!! 20 episodes split into 3 boxes and each box is abt 30 bucks! omg which crazy soul with so much $$$ in their bank accounts would buy that?!!! ok... my mum. but she din buy the whole set. she only bought the last box. -_-''' now that's 无头有尾... -__-''' but it's really nice... dang ou is really a 白马王子... wahahahaha~ i guess it's every girl's wish to be treated like a princess and for their prince charming to protect them for the rest of their lives. but. that's just a show, pple. get back to reality.
and i guess i'm not the only slacker in my house... hehex... i've influenced my sister to start using the comp n play games. and guess wad? she's playing pokemon fire red. -_-'''
2 more days to maths paper!!! and 27 more days to end of exams! somehow... all these seem so far far away.... ... .. .
and... if u ask me to decide which is worse, to be unfaithful or irresponsible... i think that irresponsible ones are worse off. n ought to be shot dead. wahahahaha~
Today someone *whom i feel i shouldn't name in case anything happens to him/her... wahaha~ jokings~* asked me an extremely intruiging question that ties to the very fundemental existence of human beings -- are humans born as loners or as born as part of a pack... just like wolves...
so in this superbly boring entry, i shall try to answer this question. firstly, i would say... humans are born loners. just think about it... we come to the world as one and only one... we usually come out from a mother's womb alone. *yar yar... go ahead and argue how the surgeon could have carried a pair of twins out from the mother's womb at the same time cos she's having caesarean... it would be a surprise how the mother can survive after child birth... -_-'''*
however, the opposition would suggest that when we are born, we are usually born into a family, so we are actually part of a community as compared to loner. but let me stress... we're probably born into a family because at such a young age when babies only know how to cry and wait to be fed, they definitely have no means of fending for themselves. and that's when the so called "community" comes in... the community serves as help for these hapless beings... to help them fulfil their daily needs, covering up each other's weakness to produce the "optimal" outcome by combining each individual's talents. so in short, we are just there for each other to be used for our personal gain.
and this ties in with how all humans are selfish in nature. no matter how "selfless" u appear to others, can u deny that u actually gain from it? be it direct personal hidden materialistic n physical gains, or just making u slightly happier... u still gain from it. u do it because u want to feel happy helping others. u do it because by doing it ur relationship with others would be better off. directly or indirectly all humans are still fishmongers by nature.
in fact, in my opinion, being selfish is a loner behaviour to a certain extent.
and yes! of course, when ur all grown up, u can choose to revert to ur original instinct - to be loner, or to remain as part of a community. in this case, sad to say, most of us remain as part of the huge "family". no one would want to part with the benefits being in a group brings... since things are done collectively, there are always free riders who would try to put themselves better off... slacking around while the other hardworking ones slog their lives off.
and so, if u're a loner, it might actually be a symbol of power. because u no longer need to depend on others to live on. u are not like those weakling parasites. u can survive on ur own.
but then again, loners does not equate to being someone powerful. sometimes it's a form of insecurity. just like squall for example *hahaha fav example* look at him... he's a loner but the reason y is because he's afraid of losing the things he might gain from joining others in their big gang.
ok... so i am crapping abt the loners having power. -_-'''
but but but but but... when we post this question (whether pple are born loners or part of a "wolf pack") to some helpless romantics... unfortunately they don't choose option a -- humans are loners by instinct... neither is it option b -- humans are part of a "pack". their answer would be.... *drum rolls* option c!!!! humans are born into this world as two halves!!! and the purpose of ur life is to search for ur other half!!! wow!!! *applause plz.*
ahems. i would say... that the above is all bull shit. cos in my opinion... my answer would be option d -- otherwise... and in this case... "otherwise" means it depends on my mood. and it so happens that my mood recently belong to the loner category. meaning when my mood changes for the better i might reconsider changing my opinion and say that humans live in a community by instinct. *and of course if i'm crazily in love i'll say i'm searching for my other half. -_-'''*
and opps i almost spelt loners as losers. -_-'''
---end of crappy post---
here's the less crappy part of my post today... yesh! today i survived another day! muahahahaha~ *opens bottle of champagne to celebrate*
haiz all of a sudden i crave grape sparkling juice.... =X
my mum n my sis are absolutely crazy... the 王子变青蛙 show is extremely nice... i absolutely love dang ou!!! but but but but but they need not have to buy the vcd!!! and that stupid vcd *or superbly nice* is extremely ex!!! 20 episodes split into 3 boxes and each box is abt 30 bucks! omg which crazy soul with so much $$$ in their bank accounts would buy that?!!! ok... my mum. but she din buy the whole set. she only bought the last box. -_-''' now that's 无头有尾... -__-''' but it's really nice... dang ou is really a 白马王子... wahahahaha~ i guess it's every girl's wish to be treated like a princess and for their prince charming to protect them for the rest of their lives. but. that's just a show, pple. get back to reality.
and i guess i'm not the only slacker in my house... hehex... i've influenced my sister to start using the comp n play games. and guess wad? she's playing pokemon fire red. -_-'''
2 more days to maths paper!!! and 27 more days to end of exams! somehow... all these seem so far far away.... ... .. .
and... if u ask me to decide which is worse, to be unfaithful or irresponsible... i think that irresponsible ones are worse off. n ought to be shot dead. wahahahaha~
26 October 2005
in the end... we'll still go on our own ways.
i've had enough.
we don't need one another.
wad's wrong with me?
we're juz there to ease each other's loneliness.
i'm tireds.
and when new friends come, old friends fade.
juz let me go.
it's part n parcel of life.
juz like how the clouds part as the wind of time blows.
nothing's forever.
not love.
so y try to change the tides of fate?
don't bother.
i've had enough.
we don't need one another.
wad's wrong with me?
we're juz there to ease each other's loneliness.
i'm tireds.
and when new friends come, old friends fade.
juz let me go.
it's part n parcel of life.
juz like how the clouds part as the wind of time blows.
nothing's forever.
not love.
so y try to change the tides of fate?
don't bother.
25 October 2005
today's another boring n tiring day... i know it's like boring for pple to read how boring my life is n how it revolves around mugging n halfway forgetting that i've got exams in 8 days time n run off to play game/watch anime. *yesh i'm sorry that my boring life revolves only around these things. -_- anime's my life. slacking's my life. but sorry i hope mugging's not my life. -_-*
i guess u're right. i still feel for him.
oh yah speaking of this.. the long awaited fan subbed tsubasa episode 26 by dattebayo n live-evil is finally out! after pulling out hair in frustration wif my fellow anime freaks like edwin n talking abt it wif tutorial mates yong quan n nicholas *who had no idea wad i was talking abt when i told him some of the characters in there came from CCS... he was like... har? wad's card captor sakura? lolz~* yeap i finally had my late "weekly" dose of tsubasa wif syaoran n sakura n kurogane n fye~ sadeds that the first season ended rather quickly... meaning that i'll have to wait for another few more months before my next dose of tsubasa will come... yes.. the second season will be out sometime in april next year... so until den if i go crazy u know y. yesh i haven't had my dose of nerve calming medication.
but there's one thing u've got wrong about me.
besides this... loads of other "new" anime from fan subs... like shakugan no shana... juz watched episode 3 and i'm glad to say i'm not disappointed! =) somehow i don't understand y some other viewers feel that the series is starting to bore them... but to me shana still kicks ass n sakai is not some wimp... he juz has his own values that's all. hehex~ so to anime fans out there i still recommend to you guys shakugan no shana... =) quick go dl!!! lolz~
my heart has turned to stone juz like my mouth.
besides that... school rumble 24 by wannabe fansubs is also out! juz found out today and finished watching it... had a good laff after waiting for my school rumble dosage too.... hehex... but the wait is always worth it! XD harima as usual misunderstand tenma n vice versa and things take an unpredicted turn where harima all of a sudden finds himself a new girlfriend without his consent! wahahahaha~ i can juz die from laffing~
no point holding onto those feelings that holds no value anymore.
despite all the fun going-ons with my anime life... i muz admit... exams are driving me crazy... i'm tireds... *despite having quite alot of sleep i suppose... lolz* thurs material science test n up till now wadeva i studied... it's like... i know all the information but when u throw me to do all those questions i don't think i'll know how to do... but then, come to think of it... it's only another 40 mcq nia~ study so hard for wad? lol. but look at how close exams are to us... n i haven't even started studying for the other subjects yet.
since guys can survive without women,
somebody... help me!!!!
i don't see y the otherwise can't hold.
and to end off this post... wif new song by jay chou... his new album coming out on 1 nov... can't wait to get it wahahaha~
夜曲
by 周杰伦
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
我应该藏这里夜色不干净
还给你整夜的回忆占满天的星
送你的白色玫瑰在纯黑的花季凋零
午夜在树枝上诡异的很安静
倾听我黑色的大衣像我的你
衣栉比鳞的鬼走过的走过的生命
啊四周弥漫雾气
啊我在空旷的墓地
老去后还爱你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
那些断翅的蜻蜓散落在这森林
而我的眼睛没有丝毫同情
失去你泪水混浊无情
失去你我连笑容都有阴影
我站在满心期待的屋顶
嘲笑我的伤心
像一口没有水的枯井
我用尽我的自信
要我后悔莫急等待爱情
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
i guess u're right. i still feel for him.
oh yah speaking of this.. the long awaited fan subbed tsubasa episode 26 by dattebayo n live-evil is finally out! after pulling out hair in frustration wif my fellow anime freaks like edwin n talking abt it wif tutorial mates yong quan n nicholas *who had no idea wad i was talking abt when i told him some of the characters in there came from CCS... he was like... har? wad's card captor sakura? lolz~* yeap i finally had my late "weekly" dose of tsubasa wif syaoran n sakura n kurogane n fye~ sadeds that the first season ended rather quickly... meaning that i'll have to wait for another few more months before my next dose of tsubasa will come... yes.. the second season will be out sometime in april next year... so until den if i go crazy u know y. yesh i haven't had my dose of nerve calming medication.
but there's one thing u've got wrong about me.
besides this... loads of other "new" anime from fan subs... like shakugan no shana... juz watched episode 3 and i'm glad to say i'm not disappointed! =) somehow i don't understand y some other viewers feel that the series is starting to bore them... but to me shana still kicks ass n sakai is not some wimp... he juz has his own values that's all. hehex~ so to anime fans out there i still recommend to you guys shakugan no shana... =) quick go dl!!! lolz~
my heart has turned to stone juz like my mouth.
besides that... school rumble 24 by wannabe fansubs is also out! juz found out today and finished watching it... had a good laff after waiting for my school rumble dosage too.... hehex... but the wait is always worth it! XD harima as usual misunderstand tenma n vice versa and things take an unpredicted turn where harima all of a sudden finds himself a new girlfriend without his consent! wahahahaha~ i can juz die from laffing~
no point holding onto those feelings that holds no value anymore.
despite all the fun going-ons with my anime life... i muz admit... exams are driving me crazy... i'm tireds... *despite having quite alot of sleep i suppose... lolz* thurs material science test n up till now wadeva i studied... it's like... i know all the information but when u throw me to do all those questions i don't think i'll know how to do... but then, come to think of it... it's only another 40 mcq nia~ study so hard for wad? lol. but look at how close exams are to us... n i haven't even started studying for the other subjects yet.
since guys can survive without women,
somebody... help me!!!!
i don't see y the otherwise can't hold.
and to end off this post... wif new song by jay chou... his new album coming out on 1 nov... can't wait to get it wahahaha~
夜曲
by 周杰伦
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
我应该藏这里夜色不干净
还给你整夜的回忆占满天的星
送你的白色玫瑰在纯黑的花季凋零
午夜在树枝上诡异的很安静
倾听我黑色的大衣像我的你
衣栉比鳞的鬼走过的走过的生命
啊四周弥漫雾气
啊我在空旷的墓地
老去后还爱你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
那些断翅的蜻蜓散落在这森林
而我的眼睛没有丝毫同情
失去你泪水混浊无情
失去你我连笑容都有阴影
我站在满心期待的屋顶
嘲笑我的伤心
像一口没有水的枯井
我用尽我的自信
要我后悔莫急等待爱情
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
this is a really old song... juz listened to this song which i once paid no attention to... n realised this is quite an interesting song lolz... *probably today i had loads of fun wif my tutorial mates trying to solve those 欠扁问答题... lolz*
冰箱
by S.H.E.
把大象放进冰箱有几个步骤
把河马放进冰箱有几个步骤
把回忆放进冰箱会不会寂寞
把爱情放进冰箱也已经到了时候
让眼泪一次流够要几个枕头
让明天不再难过要多少纸鹤
让热情变成冷漠算不算罪过
让爱情退冰多久 才可以化为乌有
从今以后再没有人那样逗我
从今以后 就要分手
从今以后冰箱不必再放啤酒
从今以后 别在门口等我
从今以后再不需要别人哄我
从今以后 就算分手
从今以后日记再也不用上锁
从今以后 甚至不是朋友
苹果给你 柠檬给我
可乐给你 咖啡给我
自由给你 真心给我
你的给你 我的你不能带走
尽管带走吧。我不需要你。
冰箱
by S.H.E.
把大象放进冰箱有几个步骤
把河马放进冰箱有几个步骤
把回忆放进冰箱会不会寂寞
把爱情放进冰箱也已经到了时候
让眼泪一次流够要几个枕头
让明天不再难过要多少纸鹤
让热情变成冷漠算不算罪过
让爱情退冰多久 才可以化为乌有
从今以后再没有人那样逗我
从今以后 就要分手
从今以后冰箱不必再放啤酒
从今以后 别在门口等我
从今以后再不需要别人哄我
从今以后 就算分手
从今以后日记再也不用上锁
从今以后 甚至不是朋友
苹果给你 柠檬给我
可乐给你 咖啡给我
自由给你 真心给我
你的给你 我的你不能带走
尽管带走吧。我不需要你。
23 October 2005
22 October 2005
i guess... pple are all like that...
only remembering the things that are important to them, remembering those that interests them, while forgetting those "insignificant" in their eyes...
i guess it's juz human nature...
眼泪曾为一个人而流
只是那个人已不在
现在雨水代替眼泪
泪水也就不再流
但是最后才发现 原来他活在心中
不论走到哪里 不自觉地就会想起
一切关于你的事
再也不需要你 这不是欺骗自己
以前那些时光 就留作回忆
再也不需要你 我只要找回自己
美好的不好的 都成为过去
i'm watching this new anime called 灼眼のシャナ, translated to english called blazing-eye Shana (ok my translation sux wahahaha~) juz watched the first episode... quite an intruiging series for me... and juz one episode i'm hooked...
it talks about this guy, called yuuji sakai 坂井 悠二... who was just a normal guy leading a boring school life... was just walking down the streets one day after a normal school day when he notices a seal of some sort unrevealing itself on the ground beneath his feet, and time stopped suddenly and this huge monster appeared, sucking the existence out of all the people on the street, including one of yuuji's classmates, hanai yukari... only yuuji and the monster were the people moving then... and yuuji was shocked at the entire scene... the monster soon realised that unlike the others, yuuji could move and concluded he's a mistes, and is a unique one... and tried to eat yuuji up. at this moment, a girl with fire-red hair and eyes appeared, and saved yuuji in the nick of time... but before she manage to defeat the monster, yuuji was shocked at how she was going to kill n stood between the monster who had transformed into a woman, and the monster took advantage to stick her hand into yuuji's body to look for the hidden item in yuuji that makes him unique... the girl simply used her long sword n cut through yuuji n the monster...
yuuji thought he would be dead due to blood loss but surprisingly he wasn't bleeding at all... he screams at the girl to call an ambulance... but the girl calmly went up to him and simply put the cut half of his arm together with the rest of the body, and his whole body is back in place...
then the girl returned the whole street to normal by replacing the people who's existence had already been eaten by the monster with torches... everything started moving again... yuuji saw his classmate infront of him walk off with lifeless eyes, and she wouldn't answer him when he calls her... and no one on the street seemed to notice wad had happened... yuuji then chased after the girl with red hair, only to find that her hair is now black...
then the girl reveals to him that he wasn't even human, he was just an object, called a torch, that was put in place of an existence that had been eaten by such monsters they encountered just now... and these torches are there to absorb the impact due to the sudden disappearence of an existence... and so... the real sakai yuuji was dead... the person that had been cut was only a reminder of yuuji's existence and would soon disappear... and all those around him would not have noticed that he was even there before...
how i wish i'm dead just like he is.
this story really get me to start thinking about things in life... the concept of how u might not really be who u r now is really an intriguing one lolx... it makes me wanna know more... and watch more... and of course... the girl with blazing eyes totally rawks! XD she totally kicks butt... XD can't wait for the next episodes to come out... it's so irritating that the american companies have to liscense this anime series the moment it came out -_- siandeds... but so far it has juz started airing in japan a few weeks ago... and it's quite like bleach except i guess shana(the girl with red eyes n hair) is so much more hot! lolz.... but of course ichigo's the best... XD
woah... i had the thought of turning my blog into an anime blog... but looking at how i'm struggling with giving a summary of an anime episode *okies my summary skills sux* i think i can totally forget about it wahahaha~ and besides... i guess i don't have that much patience either... lolz... wow i took 1.5 hours to type this whole thing! *cos i was multitasking - eating dinner watching tv, rewatching 灼眼のシャナ episode 1 to write the summary* all in all... i shouldn't be spending time here when i only have 11 days left for exams!!! and i haven't started studying yet!!! jialats... no mood to study somemore... uninstalled dota but anime's driving me crazy and i'm not going to delete it in anyway... =(
somebody help me!!!
only remembering the things that are important to them, remembering those that interests them, while forgetting those "insignificant" in their eyes...
i guess it's juz human nature...
眼泪曾为一个人而流
只是那个人已不在
现在雨水代替眼泪
泪水也就不再流
但是最后才发现 原来他活在心中
不论走到哪里 不自觉地就会想起
一切关于你的事
再也不需要你 这不是欺骗自己
以前那些时光 就留作回忆
再也不需要你 我只要找回自己
美好的不好的 都成为过去
i'm watching this new anime called 灼眼のシャナ, translated to english called blazing-eye Shana (ok my translation sux wahahaha~) juz watched the first episode... quite an intruiging series for me... and juz one episode i'm hooked...
it talks about this guy, called yuuji sakai 坂井 悠二... who was just a normal guy leading a boring school life... was just walking down the streets one day after a normal school day when he notices a seal of some sort unrevealing itself on the ground beneath his feet, and time stopped suddenly and this huge monster appeared, sucking the existence out of all the people on the street, including one of yuuji's classmates, hanai yukari... only yuuji and the monster were the people moving then... and yuuji was shocked at the entire scene... the monster soon realised that unlike the others, yuuji could move and concluded he's a mistes, and is a unique one... and tried to eat yuuji up. at this moment, a girl with fire-red hair and eyes appeared, and saved yuuji in the nick of time... but before she manage to defeat the monster, yuuji was shocked at how she was going to kill n stood between the monster who had transformed into a woman, and the monster took advantage to stick her hand into yuuji's body to look for the hidden item in yuuji that makes him unique... the girl simply used her long sword n cut through yuuji n the monster...
yuuji thought he would be dead due to blood loss but surprisingly he wasn't bleeding at all... he screams at the girl to call an ambulance... but the girl calmly went up to him and simply put the cut half of his arm together with the rest of the body, and his whole body is back in place...
then the girl returned the whole street to normal by replacing the people who's existence had already been eaten by the monster with torches... everything started moving again... yuuji saw his classmate infront of him walk off with lifeless eyes, and she wouldn't answer him when he calls her... and no one on the street seemed to notice wad had happened... yuuji then chased after the girl with red hair, only to find that her hair is now black...
then the girl reveals to him that he wasn't even human, he was just an object, called a torch, that was put in place of an existence that had been eaten by such monsters they encountered just now... and these torches are there to absorb the impact due to the sudden disappearence of an existence... and so... the real sakai yuuji was dead... the person that had been cut was only a reminder of yuuji's existence and would soon disappear... and all those around him would not have noticed that he was even there before...
how i wish i'm dead just like he is.
this story really get me to start thinking about things in life... the concept of how u might not really be who u r now is really an intriguing one lolx... it makes me wanna know more... and watch more... and of course... the girl with blazing eyes totally rawks! XD she totally kicks butt... XD can't wait for the next episodes to come out... it's so irritating that the american companies have to liscense this anime series the moment it came out -_- siandeds... but so far it has juz started airing in japan a few weeks ago... and it's quite like bleach except i guess shana(the girl with red eyes n hair) is so much more hot! lolz.... but of course ichigo's the best... XD
woah... i had the thought of turning my blog into an anime blog... but looking at how i'm struggling with giving a summary of an anime episode *okies my summary skills sux* i think i can totally forget about it wahahaha~ and besides... i guess i don't have that much patience either... lolz... wow i took 1.5 hours to type this whole thing! *cos i was multitasking - eating dinner watching tv, rewatching 灼眼のシャナ episode 1 to write the summary* all in all... i shouldn't be spending time here when i only have 11 days left for exams!!! and i haven't started studying yet!!! jialats... no mood to study somemore... uninstalled dota but anime's driving me crazy and i'm not going to delete it in anyway... =(
somebody help me!!!
18 October 2005
16 October 2005
what is it that you really want?
don't be afraid for the world you wish for.
when i don't want to do it, u scold me for being irresponsible and stuff.
be afraid for wad?
when i finally do it, you sacarstically comment on how i didn't want to do it and ask me y do it then?
it wouldn't come true in the first place.
then what you want me to do?
go away. i don't need you anymore.
geez. -_- juz make up your mind.
don't be afraid for the world you wish for.
when i don't want to do it, u scold me for being irresponsible and stuff.
be afraid for wad?
when i finally do it, you sacarstically comment on how i didn't want to do it and ask me y do it then?
it wouldn't come true in the first place.
then what you want me to do?
go away. i don't need you anymore.
geez. -_- juz make up your mind.
15 October 2005
09 October 2005
sunday le... time really flies isn't it...
y does it still hurt?
enjoyed myself yesterday... ate alot played alot slacked alot...
go away, i don't need u in my life anymore.
let's see... first in the morning ktv wif my sis... oh well we're not really good singers... but quite furnies we tried to sing duets as in guy gurl duets and we both cmi... lolz... talk abt mo qi... we dun really have cos totally cannot harmonize... siandeds... we either have to have deeper voices or to shrill like some sopranos... lolz *opps my spelling sux*
y do i still dream of u?
after that went to mug abit... did maths and econs tutorial in record speed of less than 2 hours! *supposedly each tutorial takes at least 1 hr... and esp econs i usually take half a night cos i always dun understand the lectures* oh well it sure pays off to go for lectures i actually understand... *winkz* i like my econz tutor/lecturer now... XD
isn't it better if we juz disappear from each other's lives?
then with some worries *wif regards to my schoolwork* put aside... felt more relaxed to enjoy the rest of the day... went to meet pansy n sheila for dinner! at fish & co... so obviously we ate alot of seafood *arr~ all my 同类* haha then we were gossiping at this rudy-look-alike... how he looked super pissed off wif his gf cos they were waiting for such a long time and still couldn't get their seats...
u're enjoying urself, aren't u?
and of course... we attacked the sotongs!!! muahahaha we had like grilled, fried sotongs... plus prawns... heh heh heh and it's quite furnies how we try to eat the prawn from the shell without using hands... sheila always had problems wif her prawns... lolz~ then we ate until we're so full until we almost cannot walk.. hehez...
enjoying how u bring pain to all those who cares.
then went for dessert *ok maybe i was the only one who's really really full* where we went to eat the best tao huay in singapore... hehex~ super duper nice... XD and i kinda wished i neber eat so much at fish n co... cos i no stomach place for tao huay.... for the first time... -_-
stop telling more lies to yourself and others around u.
then gave sheila her prezzie... looks nice on her... hope she really likes it... hehez~ wish her good luck in everything n good luck for upcoming exams... *geez this reminds me i got exam in 3 weeks time sians* n unfortunately sheila wasn't wearing black n white yesterday... she was wearing white top wif blue jeans... -_- but her bag's black... wahaha... so i half right bah... lolz~ n her water bottle is black... we were commenting how it doesn't have a figure like pansy's water bottle has... *but my water bottle worse... fat at the bottom wahahaha~*
i don't need you anymore.
then super duper tireds full n happy... went home... met su weixiang on the way... then me n sheila feel like dian deng pao hehehehez~ tried to siam abit lar... but in the end i went home wif the couple while sheila took nel home... we tried to talk to each other but in the end we're all so tired n brain dead to converse so we juz stared blankly outta the bus window for the rest of the journey... n it was only 10+ at night...
no amount of dota can stop me from thinking anymore.
reach home... time for... WC!!! lolz~ played like crazy again... geez this certainly isn't like a student who has exams in 3 weeks time isn't it...
it still hurts.
y does it still hurt?
enjoyed myself yesterday... ate alot played alot slacked alot...
go away, i don't need u in my life anymore.
let's see... first in the morning ktv wif my sis... oh well we're not really good singers... but quite furnies we tried to sing duets as in guy gurl duets and we both cmi... lolz... talk abt mo qi... we dun really have cos totally cannot harmonize... siandeds... we either have to have deeper voices or to shrill like some sopranos... lolz *opps my spelling sux*
y do i still dream of u?
after that went to mug abit... did maths and econs tutorial in record speed of less than 2 hours! *supposedly each tutorial takes at least 1 hr... and esp econs i usually take half a night cos i always dun understand the lectures* oh well it sure pays off to go for lectures i actually understand... *winkz* i like my econz tutor/lecturer now... XD
isn't it better if we juz disappear from each other's lives?
then with some worries *wif regards to my schoolwork* put aside... felt more relaxed to enjoy the rest of the day... went to meet pansy n sheila for dinner! at fish & co... so obviously we ate alot of seafood *arr~ all my 同类* haha then we were gossiping at this rudy-look-alike... how he looked super pissed off wif his gf cos they were waiting for such a long time and still couldn't get their seats...
u're enjoying urself, aren't u?
and of course... we attacked the sotongs!!! muahahaha we had like grilled, fried sotongs... plus prawns... heh heh heh and it's quite furnies how we try to eat the prawn from the shell without using hands... sheila always had problems wif her prawns... lolz~ then we ate until we're so full until we almost cannot walk.. hehez...
enjoying how u bring pain to all those who cares.
then went for dessert *ok maybe i was the only one who's really really full* where we went to eat the best tao huay in singapore... hehex~ super duper nice... XD and i kinda wished i neber eat so much at fish n co... cos i no stomach place for tao huay.... for the first time... -_-
stop telling more lies to yourself and others around u.
then gave sheila her prezzie... looks nice on her... hope she really likes it... hehez~ wish her good luck in everything n good luck for upcoming exams... *geez this reminds me i got exam in 3 weeks time sians* n unfortunately sheila wasn't wearing black n white yesterday... she was wearing white top wif blue jeans... -_- but her bag's black... wahaha... so i half right bah... lolz~ n her water bottle is black... we were commenting how it doesn't have a figure like pansy's water bottle has... *but my water bottle worse... fat at the bottom wahahaha~*
i don't need you anymore.
then super duper tireds full n happy... went home... met su weixiang on the way... then me n sheila feel like dian deng pao hehehehez~ tried to siam abit lar... but in the end i went home wif the couple while sheila took nel home... we tried to talk to each other but in the end we're all so tired n brain dead to converse so we juz stared blankly outta the bus window for the rest of the journey... n it was only 10+ at night...
no amount of dota can stop me from thinking anymore.
reach home... time for... WC!!! lolz~ played like crazy again... geez this certainly isn't like a student who has exams in 3 weeks time isn't it...
it still hurts.
可惜不是你
这一刻 突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天 今天同时在放映
我这句语气 原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点 骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却 走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
那一段 我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你 已走进别人风景
多希望 也有 星光的投影
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能温暖我胸口
~可惜不是你
梁静茹
i guess it still hurts.
像昨天 今天同时在放映
我这句语气 原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点 骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却 走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
那一段 我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你 已走进别人风景
多希望 也有 星光的投影
努力为你改变 却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能温暖我胸口
~可惜不是你
梁静茹
i guess it still hurts.
08 October 2005
sat morning... really early i suppose... still have a feeling it's fri night (of course)...
stop telling all ur lies.
tml... so many things to do.. erms... supposed to finish up tutorial and start studying for life science ca in 2 weeks time... plus exams is only 3 weeks away!!! help!
stop saying things when u dun mean it.
going out wif my sis for k lunch laters... wahaha i finally managed to influence her... XD and she has finally discovered the joys of blasting ur voice out on mic in a ktv room hehehehez *talk abt bad influence from sis heh heh hehz~*
i don't need ur lies anymore.
then... dinner wif sheila and pansy... long time neber meet them le... lemme guess... sheila will turn up in... black in white. again... haha let's see if my "prediction" will come true.... haha kinda miss talking to them cos... it's not like u can share ur deeper thoughts wif pple u meet in uni juz like that. i think most pple in uni now would probably agree wif me... the friends u meet in uni are merely hi-bye friends mostly... no one really care to forge strong friendships... especially we all know that we'll only be with each other for like... 1 semester = half a year? lolz... sometimes i really wonder y pple say u meet ur soulmates and ur other half in uni... to me it's juz a bunch of crap cos no one really cares abt each other in uni wahahaha....
stop hurting others while pretending to be sensitive.
n then... when i come back... it'll be a date with dota/tower defense/hero seige? lolz... i wonder wad am i doing when exams are juz 3 weeks away. geez. i need a time out... =S
if u know how it feels like to be in that situation, then stop putting others in that situation.
once again... really like to thank those who really care abt me... pansy sheila kelvin sir seng nico yu chun xiaoli chin hai weixiang su jiayuan lixiang wendee weiling... u guyz really made my day yesterday... =) and of course.. my parents... my sis... no thanks to my brother (haha juz jokings~)
it still hurts.
stop telling all ur lies.
tml... so many things to do.. erms... supposed to finish up tutorial and start studying for life science ca in 2 weeks time... plus exams is only 3 weeks away!!! help!
stop saying things when u dun mean it.
going out wif my sis for k lunch laters... wahaha i finally managed to influence her... XD and she has finally discovered the joys of blasting ur voice out on mic in a ktv room hehehehez *talk abt bad influence from sis heh heh hehz~*
i don't need ur lies anymore.
then... dinner wif sheila and pansy... long time neber meet them le... lemme guess... sheila will turn up in... black in white. again... haha let's see if my "prediction" will come true.... haha kinda miss talking to them cos... it's not like u can share ur deeper thoughts wif pple u meet in uni juz like that. i think most pple in uni now would probably agree wif me... the friends u meet in uni are merely hi-bye friends mostly... no one really care to forge strong friendships... especially we all know that we'll only be with each other for like... 1 semester = half a year? lolz... sometimes i really wonder y pple say u meet ur soulmates and ur other half in uni... to me it's juz a bunch of crap cos no one really cares abt each other in uni wahahaha....
stop hurting others while pretending to be sensitive.
n then... when i come back... it'll be a date with dota/tower defense/hero seige? lolz... i wonder wad am i doing when exams are juz 3 weeks away. geez. i need a time out... =S
if u know how it feels like to be in that situation, then stop putting others in that situation.
once again... really like to thank those who really care abt me... pansy sheila kelvin sir seng nico yu chun xiaoli chin hai weixiang su jiayuan lixiang wendee weiling... u guyz really made my day yesterday... =) and of course.. my parents... my sis... no thanks to my brother (haha juz jokings~)
it still hurts.
05 October 2005
pre-birthday syndrome
every year... at this time... i'll be suffering from the same thing...
pre-birthday syndrome? lolz~
it's a never ending cycle. every year comes and passes without me realising it. and another year just went to waste.
you weren't here last year nor the years before.
perhaps the rainy season is here to stay.
you wouldn't be here tml either.
i hope it doesn't rain tml.
just finished watching the whole of mai-hime anime... it's a great anime... now i wish i could watch it one more time lolz...
supposed to be doing tutorial now... but apparently i don't have the mood.
maybe sleeping early for once is helpful? lolz...
pre-birthday syndrome? lolz~
it's a never ending cycle. every year comes and passes without me realising it. and another year just went to waste.
you weren't here last year nor the years before.
perhaps the rainy season is here to stay.
you wouldn't be here tml either.
i hope it doesn't rain tml.
just finished watching the whole of mai-hime anime... it's a great anime... now i wish i could watch it one more time lolz...
supposed to be doing tutorial now... but apparently i don't have the mood.
maybe sleeping early for once is helpful? lolz...
03 October 2005
i wonder y i'm here...
y am i in uni? y am i studying? do i really enjoy the things i'm doing now?
does time really make memories fade away?
will the things i do really help?
does sleeping and not thinking about anything help at all?
thanks to my kor for his bdae prezzie in advance... and my mum for treating me to sushi... plus my sis for going all the way to suntec with me juz to satisfy my crazy desire for jap food... lolz... hontoni arigatou~
y am i in uni? y am i studying? do i really enjoy the things i'm doing now?
does time really make memories fade away?
will the things i do really help?
does sleeping and not thinking about anything help at all?
thanks to my kor for his bdae prezzie in advance... and my mum for treating me to sushi... plus my sis for going all the way to suntec with me juz to satisfy my crazy desire for jap food... lolz... hontoni arigatou~
30 September 2005
君が空だった
君が空だった
美郷あき迷わないでと言えなかった
届かない想いおある
淋しすぎる笑顔がゆれて
傷をなぞった Lonely good-bye
情熱さえ痛むよ
永遠のかけら追いけて
君が空だった 夢だった
燃えてかける日々を。。。
忘れない思い出にして
その胸を飾ればいい
Search for my life またいつか会えるね
透明な瞳を愛してたよ
今はそれぞれの道 進む゛RESTARTING゛
分かり合えずに 奥に眠る
君の弱さや辛さへ触れてしまった
愚かなほど好きだったのい Time is over
抱きしめてよ
心が消えてしまいそうで怖くて
しがみついた夜に星だけが
私達を見てた。。。
時の中 さだめに巻かれ
舞う羽が願う明日へ
Wishin' for my love 美しく飛ぶから
そっと微笑んできすをして
どこに消えてゆくの？ 優しい声
見上げれば君が空だった
舞う羽が夢だったよ
Wishin' for my love 美しく飛ぶから
駆け抜けた青の時代を
忘れない思い出にして
その胸を飾ればいい
Search for my life またいつか会えるね
透明な瞳を愛してたよ
今はそれぞれの道 進む ゛RESTARTING゛
20 September 2005
19 September 2005
lost
been feeling down since... probably yesterday afternoon... no idea y...
perhaps... it's the realisation that...
i'm lost again.
y am i here? am i here because i want to be? or is it because i had no goal, so i drifted onto this path before me?
just like what junyi was commenting... yah i guess ur right... i probably have no talent to become an engineer... should have taken some other subject shouldn't i... or maybe juz drop out of uni totally and get married and no need to use brain. be some bimbo out there...
no that's not me...
i've got no idea what i'm doing now. i'm not focused on studying... i can't be playing my uni life away spending every single minute of my life when i'm not sleeping on dota servers or on some rpg fantasy... fantasizing how great my life is with those pple who are conceived by humans themselves and do not exist in reality. i'm reliant on pple more than i should be... and somehow i dun understand y i keep sticking to them like some sticky plaster which cannot be flung off. -_- i hate that feeling. i'm independent. i was once independent. but now? what the heck happened to me.
i'm a girl. no i'm not. no girls like to waste their time on msn the moment they reach home... how many girls u see cheonging game all day long? girls are supposed to play with dolls... be bitchy gossipy and go shopping all day long... or girls can stay at home to learn cooking or stitching or do some other feminine stuff. who am i then? tomboyish? but there are parts of me that are not like a guy at all... like guys like to keep it cool and keep things to themselves... but i'm juz like a hot headed little child who can't keep her own secrets (but can keep others' lolz)
and most importantly.... which insane girl takes engineering. -_-
okok i know now society is more open about this... supposedly... more and more girls taking engineering... so i suppose that's okies... but the old conception of engineering are meant for guys still lingers around... not that i'm saying it's discrimination... perhaps it's true then...
maybe i feel disheartened cos... whenever i got probs with my hw last time i could ask my classmates... they'll help one another... but now? when i got prob with hw... pple juz say... tml tutor will go through... so... we go there tml to copy answer lo... yar ur right... but... i juz have the feeling pple can't be bothered to do their tutorials... pple can't be bothered to help those around them... i dunno y i get this feeling maybe i'm wrong... or so i hope...
then i hear from pple like xiaoli how they help each other in their school work... everybody there's so pumped up about studying that they'll ask each other how to do tutorials before lessons.... stuff liddat...
maybe i shouldn't have drifted here...
or maybe i came here by choice. a rather bad choice i'll admit now...
what the hell have i been doing since i left hc?
u're truly gone from my life... my eagerness... motivation to work hard... the passion to keep things going... everything's gone... and i can't find myself...
someone pls pick me up and set me going again... someone pls tell me what i should do...
someone? so i'll end up depending on others.
i'll probably be the first to admit i'm here because of others.
it's ironical that at the end of my 1 week break... i feel... tireds... and no amount of sleep can make it up anymore... i guess no one can help me... not even you.
perhaps... it's the realisation that...
i'm lost again.
y am i here? am i here because i want to be? or is it because i had no goal, so i drifted onto this path before me?
just like what junyi was commenting... yah i guess ur right... i probably have no talent to become an engineer... should have taken some other subject shouldn't i... or maybe juz drop out of uni totally and get married and no need to use brain. be some bimbo out there...
no that's not me...
i've got no idea what i'm doing now. i'm not focused on studying... i can't be playing my uni life away spending every single minute of my life when i'm not sleeping on dota servers or on some rpg fantasy... fantasizing how great my life is with those pple who are conceived by humans themselves and do not exist in reality. i'm reliant on pple more than i should be... and somehow i dun understand y i keep sticking to them like some sticky plaster which cannot be flung off. -_- i hate that feeling. i'm independent. i was once independent. but now? what the heck happened to me.
i'm a girl. no i'm not. no girls like to waste their time on msn the moment they reach home... how many girls u see cheonging game all day long? girls are supposed to play with dolls... be bitchy gossipy and go shopping all day long... or girls can stay at home to learn cooking or stitching or do some other feminine stuff. who am i then? tomboyish? but there are parts of me that are not like a guy at all... like guys like to keep it cool and keep things to themselves... but i'm juz like a hot headed little child who can't keep her own secrets (but can keep others' lolz)
and most importantly.... which insane girl takes engineering. -_-
okok i know now society is more open about this... supposedly... more and more girls taking engineering... so i suppose that's okies... but the old conception of engineering are meant for guys still lingers around... not that i'm saying it's discrimination... perhaps it's true then...
maybe i feel disheartened cos... whenever i got probs with my hw last time i could ask my classmates... they'll help one another... but now? when i got prob with hw... pple juz say... tml tutor will go through... so... we go there tml to copy answer lo... yar ur right... but... i juz have the feeling pple can't be bothered to do their tutorials... pple can't be bothered to help those around them... i dunno y i get this feeling maybe i'm wrong... or so i hope...
then i hear from pple like xiaoli how they help each other in their school work... everybody there's so pumped up about studying that they'll ask each other how to do tutorials before lessons.... stuff liddat...
maybe i shouldn't have drifted here...
or maybe i came here by choice. a rather bad choice i'll admit now...
what the hell have i been doing since i left hc?
u're truly gone from my life... my eagerness... motivation to work hard... the passion to keep things going... everything's gone... and i can't find myself...
someone pls pick me up and set me going again... someone pls tell me what i should do...
someone? so i'll end up depending on others.
i'll probably be the first to admit i'm here because of others.
it's ironical that at the end of my 1 week break... i feel... tireds... and no amount of sleep can make it up anymore... i guess no one can help me... not even you.
16 September 2005
i had a sad dream.
but before that dream, i have to describe my mooncake tasting trip yesterday... was rather excited about it... cos my sis was complaining that mid autumn festival so near le but there's not a single mooncake in our house at all. so my mum decided on this mooncake tasting trip... so that we can eat as many samples as we liked without having to pay... economically this was a rational choice... but morally.... that's a different story.
but heck about the morality of this trip... we had a... rather good time... we went to taka at ard 1+ and started tasting all sorts of mooncakes... there were... hagen dazs ice cream mooncakes... *makes my mouth water* this cranberry fruit mooncake which i got hooked on.... and this mango mooncake that's made from pure mango *duhhz* but it tasted like the real fruit... wahaha... and of course the usual... green tea... custard... black seasame... yam... white lotus paste blah blah blah... eat until i got so sick of the sweet stuff...
and at the fair... everyone else there... mostly those older aunties *i almost called them obasan... hahaha* were like... rushing to the counters for samples... eating them like siao as though eating less they'll have less flesh on their body... then some pushing here and there for samples.... -_-
but i had fun at the trip... :P after being sick for so long... *been coughing as though i got tb for like 3 weeks* i finally got to eat ice cream!!! XD i think my sis was quite pissed at me cos i kept whining to her abt how i crave ice cream when i saw the venetia counter at the fair... and after my mum let me eat *of course i ownself pay wahaha* i continued pestering her to help me decide on the flavour i should eat... hahaha.. and stupid me asked the girl at the counter whether there are like... 3 or 4 flavour cup when she only has max of 2 flavours per cup... wahahaha... -_-
in the end i settled for rum & raisin and raspberry *i din know i had a thing for sour stuff... hehe* and was eating it happily as though i juz entered heaven... then went to rejoin my mum and sis at this stall with all the pickled vege... when... my mum accidentally brushed against this bottle near the edge of the table and the whole bottle juz crashed onto the floor... the stall attendant immediately came and started clearing up the mess... and a small group of pple gathered to watch *ahh all these kaypo pplez... so like human behaviour*
then my mum whispered to me *cos i was nearer to her* let's go...
i was quite... shocked bah.... oh well... i did thought of that... *guilty* budden i thought a better way to resolve this would be to claim responsibility for wad happened though this was an accident to pay for the broken object... economically that was a stupid action... obviously if u juz walked off no one would catch u in the act and demand that u pay... but if i did that i'll be quite bothered by it for the rest of the day... but then... my mum chose to walk off like that... 1st thought that came to my mind was... what sort of example is she setting us? 2nd... should i go back and pay for the broken bottle of pickled vege? all these felt so trival... but i was quite bothered for the whole day though i probably wasn't aware...
i accidentally voiced this out to my sis abt the 1st thought i had... i admit it wasn't a nice thought... then my sis stared at me and juz kept quiet for like the rest of 1 quarter of the trip... then my mum went to this other stall and pissed the stall attendant off by insisting that she wanna buy 1 snow skin mooncake instead of the stall selling minimum 2 snow skin mooncakes... *oh well... actually it's cos of me... i wanted to eat the snow skin black seasame mooncake... =X* and the two of them argued until i got a bit frustrated... if i were her i'll have given in and bought another snow skin mooncake to avoid the argument... but my mum insisted that our house i was the only one who ate snow skin mooncake... *hey i think the others would eat oso lor only that u're imposing this hidden rule on them* and the stall attendant said something along that line too... haha...
in the end the transaction ended quite unhappily with my mum buying the solo black seasame mooncake and the stall attendent juz put the mooncake on a uncovered plastic holder and put it in the plastic bag... i wondered if the stalls could be a little more flexible... and i wondered if it'll be better to have avoided the argument by simply purchasing 2 mooncakes... haiz... but nevertherless i got more upset at my mum...
then we went for toilet break.. *or at least my mum did* then me and my sis *she hasn't spoken a thing since i bugged her abt ice cream and gave the comment abt my mum* both of us went to this shop which sells loads of jap stuff... clothes... soft toys... and sunglasses... she picked up one and put it on... and i commented she looked like chanel from jue dui superstar... and then she commented... get it for me lor... hahaha...
then my mum and sis went home while i went toa payoh for tuition...
and now... onto my dream... i feel somehow it had to do with my day... the unhappiness towards my mum... the solitaire mystery book i read before i slept... my life as a uni student... blah blah blah...
i think i dreamt about the future... not that i was aware in the dream itself... i dreamt that... it was national day... at first i was in shianchi's house... chatting happily with her... i dreamt i had a small red car... those lao pok kind... i knew how to drive but i sux at it... and kelvin who had once hitched a ride on the car commented how lousy my driving was... wahahaha!!!
and the most important thing... my mum was no longer around...
instead... perhaps my mum had died... then my dad stopped working... started drinking... hated all women in the world until he met this girl who somehow managed to calm him down and make him smile.. yes he remarried again... but died a few years later... this new stepmum... i couldn't say she's a great woman --- in fact she was so horrible that she threw me my sis and my brother out of the house straight after my dad left this world... yeap... so we were homeless... and i had my small little red car...
i was at this arcade play ddr alone... i placed my wallet, and handphone on the machine and started playing... when this indian walking by all of a sudden grabbed my wallet! i immediately stopped playing and ran after the indian... i shouted on the top of my voice to let those around us hear that he took my wallet and demanded he return it to me... he said what? what wallet? that's my wallet... and i was like... ha... if it's ur wallet take it out and show everyone wad's inside... and he somehow switched my wallet in his hand with his own wallet... as though it's some magic trick... and everyone looked at me as though i was some crazy girl who was homeless and desperate for money... and so i lost my wallet with about 80 bucks my ezlink and my ic...
how could the world be this unfair? i thought silently to myself... i didn't cry then... but probably cos it was only a dream... if it really happened to me in real life i would have juz broke down and cried...
then i went back to my car... met up with my bro and sis and we went to visit our step mum's home... i had one more step sister... she was about 2 years younger than my brother if i didn't remember wrongly... i had something to tell her from uni... from the uni professors and stuff... so the three of us stood outside the house...waiting for her to reach home... we sat on the stairs outside the house... and started cooking maggie noodles to eat... it didn't occur to me then... but now that i think of it... y did things turn out that way? it seemed so... pitiful... national day... festival leh... supposed to be happy day and yet we were so pitiful no home to return to...
and so my step sis returned and once she saw the three of us at the door she gasped and immediately shooed us away while she opened the door and went in and shut the door without letting us in... i protested and said i had something to tell her from our uni... and she said... well u can always call my house... she was being difficult in my opinion cos i had already arrived at her house i juz wanted to talk to her to deliver a message and there she was telling me to call her house when i was juz outside... wad did me and my siblings do to deserve such hatred from her? and from our step mum? i had no idea...
but i didn't give up... so i started shouting outside the door.. telling her wad happened at lectures... the interesting interesting bits of things which got her interested... and she surprisingly... opened the door to ask for what happened next... and then she blushed... and said quietly... alright come in but dun let my mum know i let u in... i entered and finished my business there with her... and thought... perhaps the reason y our step sis din let us in was cos our step mum kept indoctrinating her about hate towards us... never let us into their house... stuff like that... while she personally didn't really agree... but she had to comply cos our step mum was her real mum...
and then i wondered y issit that my dad could fall in love with such a horrible woman... a woman that's horrible to his kids...
and all of a sudden my handphone rang... it's the mum of my tutee whom i had stood outside the door of their house for 1 hour when i juz gave up and left... she called up to tell me that she wanted to cancel yesterday's tuition cos her daughter was home late... and she had the nerve to call me now when i waited 1 hour outside the door? wad's the point of calling then. maybe she's scared i'll charge her for the lesson yesterday?
i got skeptical at all the people in my dreamworld. y are all the people there so self centered? i juz couldn't believe it...
and with that... i drove our little red car out of the carpark near my step mum's house to decide where me and my siblings should spend for the rest of the holiday...
and then i woke up and realised that my life in reality was so much better than life in my dream... that my mum was so nice to me despite all the little trival things i disagree with her now... and i silently pray that what happened in the dream was not a foresight of what's going to happen in the future... it's a scary dream alright... but i couldn't believe i could dream of something so detailed like that... i could probably write a book about this single dream itself... haha.... n considering i dream every night by the end of my life i'll probably have written more than 5000 books from my dreams each night... lolz!
and on a side note... wow this entry took me 1 hour to type.. -_- and so i have 1 less hour to cheong for my tutorials... -_- back to reality, sotongz... -_-
but before that dream, i have to describe my mooncake tasting trip yesterday... was rather excited about it... cos my sis was complaining that mid autumn festival so near le but there's not a single mooncake in our house at all. so my mum decided on this mooncake tasting trip... so that we can eat as many samples as we liked without having to pay... economically this was a rational choice... but morally.... that's a different story.
but heck about the morality of this trip... we had a... rather good time... we went to taka at ard 1+ and started tasting all sorts of mooncakes... there were... hagen dazs ice cream mooncakes... *makes my mouth water* this cranberry fruit mooncake which i got hooked on.... and this mango mooncake that's made from pure mango *duhhz* but it tasted like the real fruit... wahaha... and of course the usual... green tea... custard... black seasame... yam... white lotus paste blah blah blah... eat until i got so sick of the sweet stuff...
and at the fair... everyone else there... mostly those older aunties *i almost called them obasan... hahaha* were like... rushing to the counters for samples... eating them like siao as though eating less they'll have less flesh on their body... then some pushing here and there for samples.... -_-
but i had fun at the trip... :P after being sick for so long... *been coughing as though i got tb for like 3 weeks* i finally got to eat ice cream!!! XD i think my sis was quite pissed at me cos i kept whining to her abt how i crave ice cream when i saw the venetia counter at the fair... and after my mum let me eat *of course i ownself pay wahaha* i continued pestering her to help me decide on the flavour i should eat... hahaha.. and stupid me asked the girl at the counter whether there are like... 3 or 4 flavour cup when she only has max of 2 flavours per cup... wahahaha... -_-
in the end i settled for rum & raisin and raspberry *i din know i had a thing for sour stuff... hehe* and was eating it happily as though i juz entered heaven... then went to rejoin my mum and sis at this stall with all the pickled vege... when... my mum accidentally brushed against this bottle near the edge of the table and the whole bottle juz crashed onto the floor... the stall attendant immediately came and started clearing up the mess... and a small group of pple gathered to watch *ahh all these kaypo pplez... so like human behaviour*
then my mum whispered to me *cos i was nearer to her* let's go...
i was quite... shocked bah.... oh well... i did thought of that... *guilty* budden i thought a better way to resolve this would be to claim responsibility for wad happened though this was an accident to pay for the broken object... economically that was a stupid action... obviously if u juz walked off no one would catch u in the act and demand that u pay... but if i did that i'll be quite bothered by it for the rest of the day... but then... my mum chose to walk off like that... 1st thought that came to my mind was... what sort of example is she setting us? 2nd... should i go back and pay for the broken bottle of pickled vege? all these felt so trival... but i was quite bothered for the whole day though i probably wasn't aware...
i accidentally voiced this out to my sis abt the 1st thought i had... i admit it wasn't a nice thought... then my sis stared at me and juz kept quiet for like the rest of 1 quarter of the trip... then my mum went to this other stall and pissed the stall attendant off by insisting that she wanna buy 1 snow skin mooncake instead of the stall selling minimum 2 snow skin mooncakes... *oh well... actually it's cos of me... i wanted to eat the snow skin black seasame mooncake... =X* and the two of them argued until i got a bit frustrated... if i were her i'll have given in and bought another snow skin mooncake to avoid the argument... but my mum insisted that our house i was the only one who ate snow skin mooncake... *hey i think the others would eat oso lor only that u're imposing this hidden rule on them* and the stall attendant said something along that line too... haha...
in the end the transaction ended quite unhappily with my mum buying the solo black seasame mooncake and the stall attendent juz put the mooncake on a uncovered plastic holder and put it in the plastic bag... i wondered if the stalls could be a little more flexible... and i wondered if it'll be better to have avoided the argument by simply purchasing 2 mooncakes... haiz... but nevertherless i got more upset at my mum...
then we went for toilet break.. *or at least my mum did* then me and my sis *she hasn't spoken a thing since i bugged her abt ice cream and gave the comment abt my mum* both of us went to this shop which sells loads of jap stuff... clothes... soft toys... and sunglasses... she picked up one and put it on... and i commented she looked like chanel from jue dui superstar... and then she commented... get it for me lor... hahaha...
then my mum and sis went home while i went toa payoh for tuition...
and now... onto my dream... i feel somehow it had to do with my day... the unhappiness towards my mum... the solitaire mystery book i read before i slept... my life as a uni student... blah blah blah...
i think i dreamt about the future... not that i was aware in the dream itself... i dreamt that... it was national day... at first i was in shianchi's house... chatting happily with her... i dreamt i had a small red car... those lao pok kind... i knew how to drive but i sux at it... and kelvin who had once hitched a ride on the car commented how lousy my driving was... wahahaha!!!
and the most important thing... my mum was no longer around...
instead... perhaps my mum had died... then my dad stopped working... started drinking... hated all women in the world until he met this girl who somehow managed to calm him down and make him smile.. yes he remarried again... but died a few years later... this new stepmum... i couldn't say she's a great woman --- in fact she was so horrible that she threw me my sis and my brother out of the house straight after my dad left this world... yeap... so we were homeless... and i had my small little red car...
i was at this arcade play ddr alone... i placed my wallet, and handphone on the machine and started playing... when this indian walking by all of a sudden grabbed my wallet! i immediately stopped playing and ran after the indian... i shouted on the top of my voice to let those around us hear that he took my wallet and demanded he return it to me... he said what? what wallet? that's my wallet... and i was like... ha... if it's ur wallet take it out and show everyone wad's inside... and he somehow switched my wallet in his hand with his own wallet... as though it's some magic trick... and everyone looked at me as though i was some crazy girl who was homeless and desperate for money... and so i lost my wallet with about 80 bucks my ezlink and my ic...
how could the world be this unfair? i thought silently to myself... i didn't cry then... but probably cos it was only a dream... if it really happened to me in real life i would have juz broke down and cried...
then i went back to my car... met up with my bro and sis and we went to visit our step mum's home... i had one more step sister... she was about 2 years younger than my brother if i didn't remember wrongly... i had something to tell her from uni... from the uni professors and stuff... so the three of us stood outside the house...waiting for her to reach home... we sat on the stairs outside the house... and started cooking maggie noodles to eat... it didn't occur to me then... but now that i think of it... y did things turn out that way? it seemed so... pitiful... national day... festival leh... supposed to be happy day and yet we were so pitiful no home to return to...
and so my step sis returned and once she saw the three of us at the door she gasped and immediately shooed us away while she opened the door and went in and shut the door without letting us in... i protested and said i had something to tell her from our uni... and she said... well u can always call my house... she was being difficult in my opinion cos i had already arrived at her house i juz wanted to talk to her to deliver a message and there she was telling me to call her house when i was juz outside... wad did me and my siblings do to deserve such hatred from her? and from our step mum? i had no idea...
but i didn't give up... so i started shouting outside the door.. telling her wad happened at lectures... the interesting interesting bits of things which got her interested... and she surprisingly... opened the door to ask for what happened next... and then she blushed... and said quietly... alright come in but dun let my mum know i let u in... i entered and finished my business there with her... and thought... perhaps the reason y our step sis din let us in was cos our step mum kept indoctrinating her about hate towards us... never let us into their house... stuff like that... while she personally didn't really agree... but she had to comply cos our step mum was her real mum...
and then i wondered y issit that my dad could fall in love with such a horrible woman... a woman that's horrible to his kids...
and all of a sudden my handphone rang... it's the mum of my tutee whom i had stood outside the door of their house for 1 hour when i juz gave up and left... she called up to tell me that she wanted to cancel yesterday's tuition cos her daughter was home late... and she had the nerve to call me now when i waited 1 hour outside the door? wad's the point of calling then. maybe she's scared i'll charge her for the lesson yesterday?
i got skeptical at all the people in my dreamworld. y are all the people there so self centered? i juz couldn't believe it...
and with that... i drove our little red car out of the carpark near my step mum's house to decide where me and my siblings should spend for the rest of the holiday...
and then i woke up and realised that my life in reality was so much better than life in my dream... that my mum was so nice to me despite all the little trival things i disagree with her now... and i silently pray that what happened in the dream was not a foresight of what's going to happen in the future... it's a scary dream alright... but i couldn't believe i could dream of something so detailed like that... i could probably write a book about this single dream itself... haha.... n considering i dream every night by the end of my life i'll probably have written more than 5000 books from my dreams each night... lolz!
and on a side note... wow this entry took me 1 hour to type.. -_- and so i have 1 less hour to cheong for my tutorials... -_- back to reality, sotongz... -_-
04 September 2005
if only i have not made the choice to go somewhere else...
if only i had not met u.
i'd rather have continued to stay where i was...
and need not undergo such joy and pain of knowing u.
i'll probably still be stumbling around, just like myself.
and would not daze off in the middle of huge exciting conversations.
i would have been much happier...
though i admit it really made my heart warm when i see you
i would probably be chatting with huge groups of friends...
and would not be crying late in the night
i might be smiling more...
but can't help to look to see if ur smiling with me
pple might be happier without me around...
and you probably wouldn't have those false smiles pasted on your face everytime you meet our friends
i wish there was never me...
and i wished i could still remember the wonderful memories i had with you
but time passes and i am beginning to forget...
all your smiles, the little things you did that made me happy
the reason for me to be happy...
is because you are happy
i am happy now. i really am.
but are you? if you are then everything's worth it.
i wish others aren't so nice to me.
i'm not worth it.
i wish i wouldn't bring trouble to those around me.
i wish i wouldn't make you upset.
in the end i always did.
in the end, i realised we're not in each others' future.
and so... maybe... it's better off without me.
wishing all the best to you
wishing all the best to everyone out there...
if only i had not met u.
i'd rather have continued to stay where i was...
and need not undergo such joy and pain of knowing u.
i'll probably still be stumbling around, just like myself.
and would not daze off in the middle of huge exciting conversations.
i would have been much happier...
though i admit it really made my heart warm when i see you
i would probably be chatting with huge groups of friends...
and would not be crying late in the night
i might be smiling more...
but can't help to look to see if ur smiling with me
pple might be happier without me around...
and you probably wouldn't have those false smiles pasted on your face everytime you meet our friends
i wish there was never me...
and i wished i could still remember the wonderful memories i had with you
but time passes and i am beginning to forget...
all your smiles, the little things you did that made me happy
the reason for me to be happy...
is because you are happy
i am happy now. i really am.
but are you? if you are then everything's worth it.
i wish others aren't so nice to me.
i'm not worth it.
i wish i wouldn't bring trouble to those around me.
i wish i wouldn't make you upset.
in the end i always did.
in the end, i realised we're not in each others' future.
and so... maybe... it's better off without me.
wishing all the best to you
wishing all the best to everyone out there...
31 August 2005
feeling slightly better today.... was having a fever yesterday and kept popping panadol... pon lectures in the morning yesterday to get more sleep so today bo bian unless super ultra sick or else muz go lecture in the morning... despite sleeping late last night cos cannot get to sleep.. somehow i woke up super early in the morning and was 1 of the first few to reach the lt... zZz....
boring lectures as usual... but the journey home was kinda frustrating... cos feeling a bit tireds le... den at interchange waiting for 945 the bus took so long *like probably 20min to come* and i got quite fed up lar... cos i wanted to go home and sleep badly before my tuition laters.... at that point in time i was seriously thinking of going to their office there to complain... hahaha... so now i finally realise y some pple like to complain alot... hahaha...
on the bus... saw these 4 boys... think sec 1 bah... quite small size... overheard their conversation which was quite furnies... okies boys and gurls, ladies and gentlemen.... point ur right finger to ur stomach and say M.... next move ur finger up a little and say T... then continue moving ur finger up all the way to ur forehead and keep repeating the words M and T...
since the bus took such a long time to come... the bus was really crowded... at the first stop everybody was squeezed like packed sardines and more primary school students boarded the bus... then there was this really loud auntie whose hair was juz starting to turn white... as the bus started moving she started complaining infront of another 4 hillgrove sec boys... 现在的年轻人啊。。。已经不懂得什么势礼貌了。。。巴士挤，年轻人坐、老人站。。。 then one of the hillgrove boys was like buay tahan... started saying... 好啦。。。让你坐吧。。。 and the 阿婆 said... 坐哪里？坐你的腿？ then the guy quite pissed off by the way the 阿婆 say things ar... den he replied...放屁~ and the 阿婆 said... 哇。。。很臭！
dunno y lar... i was kinda pissed by that 阿婆 cos 1. she no need talk so loudly on the whole bus until everybody can hear... 2. pple nice to u when u complain pple let u take seat then u still act hard to please for wad. -_- seriously speaking... if i were the guy i juz pretend i ang mo dun understand wad she say lar... and btw... when she talk abt 年轻人坐、老人站 she ownself admit she old hor. and her hair wasn't totally white lor... so she wasn't that old... -_-
budden the hillgrove guy shouldn't have said 放屁 lar... that's being disrespectful...
but seriously speaking... if anyone were to meet with such a situation how would u react? hmms... that's something i'm pondering now... -_-
aniwae... in the end... i got off at the next stop... so the 阿婆 squeeze all the way to my seat there and sat down... so i guess everything was resolved... -_-
boring lectures as usual... but the journey home was kinda frustrating... cos feeling a bit tireds le... den at interchange waiting for 945 the bus took so long *like probably 20min to come* and i got quite fed up lar... cos i wanted to go home and sleep badly before my tuition laters.... at that point in time i was seriously thinking of going to their office there to complain... hahaha... so now i finally realise y some pple like to complain alot... hahaha...
on the bus... saw these 4 boys... think sec 1 bah... quite small size... overheard their conversation which was quite furnies... okies boys and gurls, ladies and gentlemen.... point ur right finger to ur stomach and say M.... next move ur finger up a little and say T... then continue moving ur finger up all the way to ur forehead and keep repeating the words M and T...
since the bus took such a long time to come... the bus was really crowded... at the first stop everybody was squeezed like packed sardines and more primary school students boarded the bus... then there was this really loud auntie whose hair was juz starting to turn white... as the bus started moving she started complaining infront of another 4 hillgrove sec boys... 现在的年轻人啊。。。已经不懂得什么势礼貌了。。。巴士挤，年轻人坐、老人站。。。 then one of the hillgrove boys was like buay tahan... started saying... 好啦。。。让你坐吧。。。 and the 阿婆 said... 坐哪里？坐你的腿？ then the guy quite pissed off by the way the 阿婆 say things ar... den he replied...放屁~ and the 阿婆 said... 哇。。。很臭！
dunno y lar... i was kinda pissed by that 阿婆 cos 1. she no need talk so loudly on the whole bus until everybody can hear... 2. pple nice to u when u complain pple let u take seat then u still act hard to please for wad. -_- seriously speaking... if i were the guy i juz pretend i ang mo dun understand wad she say lar... and btw... when she talk abt 年轻人坐、老人站 she ownself admit she old hor. and her hair wasn't totally white lor... so she wasn't that old... -_-
budden the hillgrove guy shouldn't have said 放屁 lar... that's being disrespectful...
but seriously speaking... if anyone were to meet with such a situation how would u react? hmms... that's something i'm pondering now... -_-
aniwae... in the end... i got off at the next stop... so the 阿婆 squeeze all the way to my seat there and sat down... so i guess everything was resolved... -_-
29 August 2005
you don't need to die to be forgotten...
the flu bug is quite contagious these days... pple start coughing and sneezing during tutorials classes *which is the only class i had todae* and after sitting beside shing yeong last thurs... poor meng bin on her left was in quite a bad shape today... sneezing and blowing his nose as though as he's a girl crying after watching some korean drama... and to her right... was me... with a terrible sore throat... and the next target shall be...... heh...
supposedly cos of our 50th anniversary.... lessons are cancelled in the afternoon... and it took me 1 hour to travel to school, less than 1 hour of econs tutorial... and 2 hours to get home cos everybody was trying to squeeze onto the 179 bus and rush home on their early day off... -_- got stranded on ntu campus for 1 hour lo.. that's record breaking...
this is NOT the optimal equilibrium, according to the principle of economics... since the opportunity cost of me turning up for econs tutorial far outweighs the benefit i gain from it... (since i only gain less than 1 hour worth of knowledge and lose 3 hours of precious time) by cost benefit principle which is a fundemental concept in economics i should make the most rational choice of poning econs tutorial. so i shouldn't have turned up in school todae... and tell my econs tutor that i'm simply applying knowledge i learnt in econs to my everyday life and in fact he should award me for having mastered this concept. ha~
and when i reached home... yuchun came online and asked me whether i was going for the 50th anniversary celebrations talk of some sort... with lee hsien loong coming as guest speaker... and actually we were supposed to turn up or something... i was puzzled cos i wasn't informed or anything... then she asked me... y u think our afternoon lessons were cancelled for? and i replied... for us to go home lor... heh~ the irony is that she was oso at home at the point in time when she was chatting with me... hahahaha~
yar. that's school life for u. -_-
------------------------------------------------------------
the flu bug is quite contagious these days... pple start coughing and sneezing during tutorials classes *which is the only class i had todae* and after sitting beside shing yeong last thurs... poor meng bin on her left was in quite a bad shape today... sneezing and blowing his nose as though as he's a girl crying after watching some korean drama... and to her right... was me... with a terrible sore throat... and the next target shall be...... heh...
supposedly cos of our 50th anniversary.... lessons are cancelled in the afternoon... and it took me 1 hour to travel to school, less than 1 hour of econs tutorial... and 2 hours to get home cos everybody was trying to squeeze onto the 179 bus and rush home on their early day off... -_- got stranded on ntu campus for 1 hour lo.. that's record breaking...
this is NOT the optimal equilibrium, according to the principle of economics... since the opportunity cost of me turning up for econs tutorial far outweighs the benefit i gain from it... (since i only gain less than 1 hour worth of knowledge and lose 3 hours of precious time) by cost benefit principle which is a fundemental concept in economics i should make the most rational choice of poning econs tutorial. so i shouldn't have turned up in school todae... and tell my econs tutor that i'm simply applying knowledge i learnt in econs to my everyday life and in fact he should award me for having mastered this concept. ha~
and when i reached home... yuchun came online and asked me whether i was going for the 50th anniversary celebrations talk of some sort... with lee hsien loong coming as guest speaker... and actually we were supposed to turn up or something... i was puzzled cos i wasn't informed or anything... then she asked me... y u think our afternoon lessons were cancelled for? and i replied... for us to go home lor... heh~ the irony is that she was oso at home at the point in time when she was chatting with me... hahahaha~
yar. that's school life for u. -_-
你快乐吗？
你说你不快乐。
说什么。。。想拥有自由、做出自己喜欢的选择。。。结果最后整天唠叨。。。说得不到幸福。。。其实幸福就在你身旁，只是你连看都不看它一眼。。。继续沉浸在自我同情中。。。
那着跟你当初下定决心，离开伤心地时的你有什么分别？干脆不用作出任何举动。。。继续留在苦海中。这不是你。真正的你是个我行我素、不让周围的人影响的你。那又何必装难过呢？是想博取别人的同情？还是博取自己的同情？
或许你说我没资格说你。没资格有怎样？就像你一样。。。我爱说什么就说。这就是我的性格。就好像你。。。爱说话的时候才开口，不想说的时候就保持沉默，从不须顾虑到别人的感受。这种生活多么轻松。。。就算被别人丢丑鸡蛋也无所谓。。。因为这就是你。这也就是我。
我也终于明白为什么我会如此在乎。。。原来我们是那么不同，却又是那么相同。要是没有遇见你，那该多好。。。
你说你不快乐。
说什么。。。想拥有自由、做出自己喜欢的选择。。。结果最后整天唠叨。。。说得不到幸福。。。其实幸福就在你身旁，只是你连看都不看它一眼。。。继续沉浸在自我同情中。。。
那着跟你当初下定决心，离开伤心地时的你有什么分别？干脆不用作出任何举动。。。继续留在苦海中。这不是你。真正的你是个我行我素、不让周围的人影响的你。那又何必装难过呢？是想博取别人的同情？还是博取自己的同情？
或许你说我没资格说你。没资格有怎样？就像你一样。。。我爱说什么就说。这就是我的性格。就好像你。。。爱说话的时候才开口，不想说的时候就保持沉默，从不须顾虑到别人的感受。这种生活多么轻松。。。就算被别人丢丑鸡蛋也无所谓。。。因为这就是你。这也就是我。
我也终于明白为什么我会如此在乎。。。原来我们是那么不同，却又是那么相同。要是没有遇见你，那该多好。。。
24 August 2005
forever like that
nothing ever changes
it's just him
or maybe it was me
being too noisy
as usual
just like that
we're always like that
nothing more, nothing less
moving forward brings pain
stepping back brings sorrow
frozen in the stagnant world
staring at how the sun rises and sets each day
looking at how places age with time
unmoving, unfeeling
unable to do a thing
u're right
i can't forget
those happy and sad memories
what about u
perhaps we're both the same
limiting ourselves to make ourselves feel better
telling ourselves we're trying to spare others of pain
but in actual fact denying how we're afraid to be hurt again
and so we stay stuck up in our facades
building the wall around us
on one hand hoping someone would be able to break through
on the other hand constantly shutting those who come close
loneliness shouldn't be a reason why people are together
love shouldn't arise from trial and error of partners
too many sad endings too little smiles
how many relationships actually survive the trial of time?
i'm sick of hearing sad stories
we want more happy endings
just like those soap operas
where all couples live happily ever after
where all tears cease to flow
where all rainy days end with a huge rainbow across the sky
i shouldn't have raised my voice
it wasn't your fault
i just couldn't let go
the pain's too great
but that's not an excuse
it's not justified
i must have hurt u quite a bit
i just couldn't hold my temper
pls forgive me my dear friend
nothing ever changes
it's just him
or maybe it was me
being too noisy
as usual
just like that
we're always like that
nothing more, nothing less
moving forward brings pain
stepping back brings sorrow
frozen in the stagnant world
staring at how the sun rises and sets each day
looking at how places age with time
unmoving, unfeeling
unable to do a thing
u're right
i can't forget
those happy and sad memories
what about u
perhaps we're both the same
limiting ourselves to make ourselves feel better
telling ourselves we're trying to spare others of pain
but in actual fact denying how we're afraid to be hurt again
and so we stay stuck up in our facades
building the wall around us
on one hand hoping someone would be able to break through
on the other hand constantly shutting those who come close
loneliness shouldn't be a reason why people are together
love shouldn't arise from trial and error of partners
too many sad endings too little smiles
how many relationships actually survive the trial of time?
i'm sick of hearing sad stories
we want more happy endings
just like those soap operas
where all couples live happily ever after
where all tears cease to flow
where all rainy days end with a huge rainbow across the sky
i shouldn't have raised my voice
it wasn't your fault
i just couldn't let go
the pain's too great
but that's not an excuse
it's not justified
i must have hurt u quite a bit
i just couldn't hold my temper
pls forgive me my dear friend
21 August 2005
いま、会いにゆきます
after so much struggle... saying how romance movies should never be watched alone but with either your loved one or ur closest friends...
i finally gave up and bought the vcd and watched at home alone. -__-
the title of the movie is called いま、会いにゆきます, translated to chinese 借着雨点说爱你, translated to english be with you... and even though i knew the entire plot cos i pester my kor to tell me... in the end it was a great movie nevertherless... made me cry like a crybaby... once the movie started my tears started rolling liao... quite embarrassing... so... oh well... good thing i watched alone... hehehe~
it had been a long time since i had been so absorbed by a movie or anything... i usually start munching on tidbits non-stop once i start watching a show but this time i left the food alone... lolz... besides... it's a long time since i teared for a good movie... =) not cos it's time to cry cos it's a sad ending... but cos it's so beautiful yet so... 凄美... so my 眼泪像一个关不上的水龙头流个不停... then my mum was nagging at me while i was crying at the movie... -_- quite contradictory lar.... siandeds... should have watched in theatre or something... =(
and finally todae i reached to a conclusion on certain stuff... like when and who are allowed on movie dates... (hahaha~) and heartiest wishes to the couples out there... to be with each other till death do they part... =)
i finally gave up and bought the vcd and watched at home alone. -__-
the title of the movie is called いま、会いにゆきます, translated to chinese 借着雨点说爱你, translated to english be with you... and even though i knew the entire plot cos i pester my kor to tell me... in the end it was a great movie nevertherless... made me cry like a crybaby... once the movie started my tears started rolling liao... quite embarrassing... so... oh well... good thing i watched alone... hehehe~
it had been a long time since i had been so absorbed by a movie or anything... i usually start munching on tidbits non-stop once i start watching a show but this time i left the food alone... lolz... besides... it's a long time since i teared for a good movie... =) not cos it's time to cry cos it's a sad ending... but cos it's so beautiful yet so... 凄美... so my 眼泪像一个关不上的水龙头流个不停... then my mum was nagging at me while i was crying at the movie... -_- quite contradictory lar.... siandeds... should have watched in theatre or something... =(
and finally todae i reached to a conclusion on certain stuff... like when and who are allowed on movie dates... (hahaha~) and heartiest wishes to the couples out there... to be with each other till death do they part... =)
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