i don't know why... all of a sudden i feel quite depressed...
first is with my upcoming japanese exam this sunday... it seems no matter how much i study i can never finish studying even half the exam material... but me procrastinating here isn't going to make things better anyway... sighz~
next... why did i choose to take this exam when everyone else is enjoying themselves after their exams? feel a little left out... i heard about my ntu clique's outing today... and that peylun got injured pretty seriously... i wished i was there physically to help out and things like that... though i did spend today pretty efficiently to study japanese... just that... there's always this what ifs hanging around... wish i didn't have to sacrifice my friends for academic stuff...
and then i feel left out again... cos there's so many things i wanna do and stuff... wanna go out with pansy to do her hair but she's such a dear, don't wanna jeopardize my jap exam on sun so she's only asking me out on mon or tues... and i wanted to go to pc fair to buy alot of stuff... but turns out i'll be going alone cos everyone else has already gone there...
and there's the problem of me getting to my exam venue on sun... it's at changi.. so freaking far away.. i'll take like 2h+ just to get to my destination! and initially i thought my father could send me there... only that he's going to china again on business trip on sunday itself... and next he's going to miss my sister's birthday too! i know he didn't want this to happen probably... but it's starting to get to me... cos he's always not around on the big occasions... hais. am i just being plain moody or wad?
and then... about my gip IA in shanghai... i haven't received the email from them yet after so long. it's starting to really make me panic... and i heard things which aren't really pleasant regarding this whole gip email thingy...
all of a sudden everything just seem to crash down on me... can i just go to bed early or just cry it all out in one corner of my world?
28 November 2007
26 November 2007
i've been doing some self reflection ever since i woke up from my nap this afternoon... erms accurately speaking i wasn't sleeping, i was just lying on my bed for 4 hrs... *omg i'm such a pig* strangely i couldn't go to sleep, probably because of the constant drilling outside?
i realise i've become strangely and really bad tempered these days... could it be because of my lack of sleep? i shout at people before my mind takes control over the situation... haiz~ i sux =(
back to the self reflection part... i haven't been focusing well on my studies these few days... lack of sleep could be one reason... i was procrastinating yesterday loads... i couldn't see where i was heading to... i just let my fears of today's paper and fear of memorising singapore history take over me and waste my energy worrying over it... even with a great motivator by my side, i couldn't focus immediately and took a really long while to be coaxed into studying... i hate that... makes me sound so mentally weak hahaha~ this is a bad thing which i need to do something about it imo...
so once again i did some internet research hahahahahaha~ was reading this site http://www.mypersonalbrilliance.com/focus/ that talks about the personal traits that brings about personal brilliance... and actually i think i do have these personal traits except the focus trait which i have no idea why i lost it last week... i used to be able to focus well haha~ so here are some tips they provide to help one focus better...
- clarify your purpose : always keep in mind your ultimate goal. what can you do to make it a more enjoyable process?
- learn to meditate : opposing to focus, where you concentrate, meditating is to relax your mind. however at the same time it can be a good practice for concentration and focus.
- use visualization techniques : visualization is the process of of creating mental images. rather than trying to tell yourself that u'll do well in the upcoming event, visualize yourself in the scenario performing well.
this site also mentions other personal traits that can bring about personal brilliance, namely awareness, curiosity, (focus) and initiative. ok before i go into this let me talk about my jog just now... i couldn't reach my "goal" of running 8 rounds non-stop because i couldn't focus well, and while i was running i kept thinking about alot of things... like what are the things that are good about me. i couldn't think of any at that point in time... and so i failed to motivate myself and i kept stopping halfway during my run... the moment i think of a "good point" my internal voice will shoot that good trait down... haha funny that my self talk failed lolx~ and now why did i talk abt my jog? because i kept shooting down myself because of my fears. i was afraid of others being unable to accept my bad points, that's why i'm so critical of myself and keep telling myself to be humble. but this has dire effects including my low confidence... which will be a nono to survive in this world...
so now back to the site i was refering to... initiative... i used to be someone with a lot of initiative in the past *ask my sec 3 n 4 class... they'll know why hahahahahahaha~* but now i learnt to keep my initiative down because of a lot of fears, including the fear of being made use of, fear of being unappreciated, fear of being dragged into unnecessary matters etc. and guess what this site says?
since now i'm talking about fears, i did another internet search and came across this site... http://www.explorefaith.org/lifelines/fear.html
i realise this is very very true in my case haha~ come to think of it... why let these fears take control of our lives? however this is easier said than done... with the fear so deeply rooted in the back of your minds... some suggestions from this site is... to recognise the fears, and stare it down... alternatively we can replace our fears with faith. ok in this case it may not necessarily to be always having faith in a religion... haha it sounds so beautiful if we can replace fears with faith... but can it be really done for me? what if one of the fears present is the fear of trusting and believing?
in another site http://www.chrisj.winisp.net/articles/fear.htm, when dealing with our personal fear we should go through the fear to the far side of it... instead of anticipating the things that we're afraid of... so a guide to allow this mentality to vanish is...
1. just notice your fears: don't try to analyze, criticize, judge, evaluate etc. just noticing it will give yourself emotional space.
2. separate from what is real and what is imagined: most of our fears are future what-ifs and past have-beens... don't let the imagined scenarios scare you.
3. ask dumb questions, like "so what?" *hehex i like this... i always ask dumb questions* these questions may sound lame, but they're positive and enlightening. most of the time our fears are based on a negative fantasy of pain, so by asking this kind of questions we can conclude with lesser negativity and be less afraid.
okie dokies... i'm really hungry now... so i shall go for my dinner now! ahh~ feels much more at peace with myself now =)
i realise i've become strangely and really bad tempered these days... could it be because of my lack of sleep? i shout at people before my mind takes control over the situation... haiz~ i sux =(
back to the self reflection part... i haven't been focusing well on my studies these few days... lack of sleep could be one reason... i was procrastinating yesterday loads... i couldn't see where i was heading to... i just let my fears of today's paper and fear of memorising singapore history take over me and waste my energy worrying over it... even with a great motivator by my side, i couldn't focus immediately and took a really long while to be coaxed into studying... i hate that... makes me sound so mentally weak hahaha~ this is a bad thing which i need to do something about it imo...
so once again i did some internet research hahahahahaha~ was reading this site http://www.mypersonalbrilliance.com/focus/ that talks about the personal traits that brings about personal brilliance... and actually i think i do have these personal traits except the focus trait which i have no idea why i lost it last week... i used to be able to focus well haha~ so here are some tips they provide to help one focus better...
- clarify your purpose : always keep in mind your ultimate goal. what can you do to make it a more enjoyable process?
- learn to meditate : opposing to focus, where you concentrate, meditating is to relax your mind. however at the same time it can be a good practice for concentration and focus.
- use visualization techniques : visualization is the process of of creating mental images. rather than trying to tell yourself that u'll do well in the upcoming event, visualize yourself in the scenario performing well.
this site also mentions other personal traits that can bring about personal brilliance, namely awareness, curiosity, (focus) and initiative. ok before i go into this let me talk about my jog just now... i couldn't reach my "goal" of running 8 rounds non-stop because i couldn't focus well, and while i was running i kept thinking about alot of things... like what are the things that are good about me. i couldn't think of any at that point in time... and so i failed to motivate myself and i kept stopping halfway during my run... the moment i think of a "good point" my internal voice will shoot that good trait down... haha funny that my self talk failed lolx~ and now why did i talk abt my jog? because i kept shooting down myself because of my fears. i was afraid of others being unable to accept my bad points, that's why i'm so critical of myself and keep telling myself to be humble. but this has dire effects including my low confidence... which will be a nono to survive in this world...
so now back to the site i was refering to... initiative... i used to be someone with a lot of initiative in the past *ask my sec 3 n 4 class... they'll know why hahahahahahaha~* but now i learnt to keep my initiative down because of a lot of fears, including the fear of being made use of, fear of being unappreciated, fear of being dragged into unnecessary matters etc. and guess what this site says?
so yeaps... i should slowly learn to unlearn my fears... actually a lot of my personal problems these days arise due to my excessive fears. and thinking about the habit of not worrying and not to dwell on fear brings to my mind... peylun! ok she's my new target to learn from hehex~Getting Clear About Your Fears
When we're worried about a potentially negative outcome or situation, we spin our mental wheels going around and around in circles, kind of like a hamster on one of those cage toys that look like miniature Ferris wheels. Hamsters need those wheels to use up some of the energy that can't possibly be expended by walking around their cages. Humans, on the other hand, particularly in today's fast-paced world, need to conserve energy and use it wisely in ventures that yield real results.
Time and energy that's wasted by focusing on fears, worries, and potentially negative outcomes can be wisely spent by training yourself to return to the present moment over and over again, regardless of the situation or problem that you are facing. No one is a natural born worrier. Worrying and being fearful are behaviors that we learn. Therefore, these behaviors can be "un-learned." Just like any other habit, learning not to worry and not to dwell on fear is a process that needs to be practiced for it to become a new habit.
since now i'm talking about fears, i did another internet search and came across this site... http://www.explorefaith.org/lifelines/fear.html
Unhealthy fear is fear that controls us and consumes us. These fears “blackmail” us, rob us of the joy and abundance of life that God has intended for us........................... Fear is a double-edged sword; it can save us, and it can destroy us. How can we preserve the place of healthy fear in our lives, and protect ourselves from the death-dealing effects of unhealthy fear?
i realise this is very very true in my case haha~ come to think of it... why let these fears take control of our lives? however this is easier said than done... with the fear so deeply rooted in the back of your minds... some suggestions from this site is... to recognise the fears, and stare it down... alternatively we can replace our fears with faith. ok in this case it may not necessarily to be always having faith in a religion... haha it sounds so beautiful if we can replace fears with faith... but can it be really done for me? what if one of the fears present is the fear of trusting and believing?
in another site http://www.chrisj.winisp.net/articles/fear.htm, when dealing with our personal fear we should go through the fear to the far side of it... instead of anticipating the things that we're afraid of... so a guide to allow this mentality to vanish is...
1. just notice your fears: don't try to analyze, criticize, judge, evaluate etc. just noticing it will give yourself emotional space.
2. separate from what is real and what is imagined: most of our fears are future what-ifs and past have-beens... don't let the imagined scenarios scare you.
3. ask dumb questions, like "so what?" *hehex i like this... i always ask dumb questions* these questions may sound lame, but they're positive and enlightening. most of the time our fears are based on a negative fantasy of pain, so by asking this kind of questions we can conclude with lesser negativity and be less afraid.
okie dokies... i'm really hungry now... so i shall go for my dinner now! ahh~ feels much more at peace with myself now =)
you know that u're either an escapee from woodbridge or u're just lacking in sleep when u start dancing the YMCA dance in front of the mirror for no rhyme or reason...
i don't know why, i just have this burning desire to shout this...
やったあああああああ！！！ \（^ｖ^）/
haha did i sound like hiro? XD
yay heroes is coming on channel 5!!! though i already watched it and i most likely wouldn't be watching it on channel 5 anyway (the late time when my dad will hog the tv haha~) but the thought of the possibility of seeing hiro on tv again makes me happy. ^^
haha now i'm very happy... cos... hmmms well i guess i must trace back to quite a lot of things. today's my last ntu paper... my dreaded engineers and society... it's kind of like social studies cum history... a subject i haven't touched for like 6 years... i used to like history alot... but that was cos i liked my history teacher loads i think... mrs janet ng.... u're still my idol and one of my favourite teachers =) but yesterday and the day before i kept procrastinating... cos i felt really siandeds when i have to memorise all the stupid singapore history stuff again... *opps ISA pple don't arrest me for the above statement hahahaha~* oh well i just hate memorising... that isn't a crime i hope?
and something that made me quite happy was someone kept motivating me... though i think i'm a really stubborn bull that refused to move last night... but finally i started moving... though it's slow but at least i took a step k? lolx~ abit paiseh to him cos he fell asleep on his desk while motivating me hahaha~
then this morning... actually last night i wanted to mug through the night and not sleep at all, in the end i went to bed at 3am... kinda given up on memorising all the stuff... i think i was procrastinating cos i didn't want to memorise history stuff and kinda shut my mind to all the information i was reading on my notes... but after i woke up at 6.30am i knew wad went wrong... i didn't have any interest in my notes at all yesterday. so today i took another view point to start re-reading the notes... and things did go in... only that it seemed alittle too late? lolx~ only re-read 2 sets of notes which luckily... 1 came out in depth haha... plus the tips i got from this really good friend of mine yesterday... i kinda prepared well for 3 of the questions that came out in the paper... the last qn i had glanced through the notes, didn't really remember the stuff but at least things didn't turn out that bad even when i procrastinated so much for the first time in my entire life... so yeaps... quite happy now that i can throw away all my EnS notes hahahahahahaha~
and now the weather is purrrrfffeeeccct for napping... the nice pitter patter of raindrops... ah~ my bed... here i come....
i don't know why, i just have this burning desire to shout this...
やったあああああああ！！！ \（^ｖ^）/
haha did i sound like hiro? XD
yay heroes is coming on channel 5!!! though i already watched it and i most likely wouldn't be watching it on channel 5 anyway (the late time when my dad will hog the tv haha~) but the thought of the possibility of seeing hiro on tv again makes me happy. ^^
haha now i'm very happy... cos... hmmms well i guess i must trace back to quite a lot of things. today's my last ntu paper... my dreaded engineers and society... it's kind of like social studies cum history... a subject i haven't touched for like 6 years... i used to like history alot... but that was cos i liked my history teacher loads i think... mrs janet ng.... u're still my idol and one of my favourite teachers =) but yesterday and the day before i kept procrastinating... cos i felt really siandeds when i have to memorise all the stupid singapore history stuff again... *opps ISA pple don't arrest me for the above statement hahahaha~* oh well i just hate memorising... that isn't a crime i hope?
and something that made me quite happy was someone kept motivating me... though i think i'm a really stubborn bull that refused to move last night... but finally i started moving... though it's slow but at least i took a step k? lolx~ abit paiseh to him cos he fell asleep on his desk while motivating me hahaha~
then this morning... actually last night i wanted to mug through the night and not sleep at all, in the end i went to bed at 3am... kinda given up on memorising all the stuff... i think i was procrastinating cos i didn't want to memorise history stuff and kinda shut my mind to all the information i was reading on my notes... but after i woke up at 6.30am i knew wad went wrong... i didn't have any interest in my notes at all yesterday. so today i took another view point to start re-reading the notes... and things did go in... only that it seemed alittle too late? lolx~ only re-read 2 sets of notes which luckily... 1 came out in depth haha... plus the tips i got from this really good friend of mine yesterday... i kinda prepared well for 3 of the questions that came out in the paper... the last qn i had glanced through the notes, didn't really remember the stuff but at least things didn't turn out that bad even when i procrastinated so much for the first time in my entire life... so yeaps... quite happy now that i can throw away all my EnS notes hahahahahahaha~
and now the weather is purrrrfffeeeccct for napping... the nice pitter patter of raindrops... ah~ my bed... here i come....
24 November 2007
i had a dream. ok before i go into that i must stress it's just a dream, so those people that i dream of, please don't be offended if you guys actually think u're the people i saw in my dream...
i dreamt of something from the past which shouldn't have come to my mind for so long, and i don't know what all these means. last time i was very bothered when my rival knows more about someone more than i do... and seemed closer to him than i do... but in my dream last night, when she seemingly purposely revealed information about how much more she knows about him and how intimate they are as though she's trying to spite me... i was actually pissed. i know it's a dream, so i was upset with myself when i woke up... why did i fall into that trap again? and whatever that happens to them is not exactly my business anymore isn't it...
which actually brings me to something i wanted to talk about last night actually... what is love. i don't know anymore... is it just thinking of that person every time you wake up? wanting to see that person's smile? wanting to know more about that person? or is it all the ugliness when one gets jealous over a person he/she is overly possessive of? the quarrels over a couple's differences? or when you have to let go of the person you love because you "love" him/her? i don't know anything anymore...
how is it that we can fall in love when we don't really understand what is love? sometimes i want to laugh at... the stupidity of this...
actually i feel kind of guilty yesterday... i didn't really believe in someone... and kind of expect that person to forget... but he didn't... i was happy that he didn't forget, but i don't know how much i can trust the things that he claims and does... i wish i can be a little more trusting...
and i felt a little guilty towards making peylun and bolin wait for me a really long time cos i was printing my 1 semester's worth of notes! but really thanks for waiting...
alrighty! one more ntu paper next monday, before i'm left with my final paper of the year -- jlpt!!! must jiayou and mug hard for them!!! holidays are coming soon!!! ^^
i dreamt of something from the past which shouldn't have come to my mind for so long, and i don't know what all these means. last time i was very bothered when my rival knows more about someone more than i do... and seemed closer to him than i do... but in my dream last night, when she seemingly purposely revealed information about how much more she knows about him and how intimate they are as though she's trying to spite me... i was actually pissed. i know it's a dream, so i was upset with myself when i woke up... why did i fall into that trap again? and whatever that happens to them is not exactly my business anymore isn't it...
which actually brings me to something i wanted to talk about last night actually... what is love. i don't know anymore... is it just thinking of that person every time you wake up? wanting to see that person's smile? wanting to know more about that person? or is it all the ugliness when one gets jealous over a person he/she is overly possessive of? the quarrels over a couple's differences? or when you have to let go of the person you love because you "love" him/her? i don't know anything anymore...
how is it that we can fall in love when we don't really understand what is love? sometimes i want to laugh at... the stupidity of this...
actually i feel kind of guilty yesterday... i didn't really believe in someone... and kind of expect that person to forget... but he didn't... i was happy that he didn't forget, but i don't know how much i can trust the things that he claims and does... i wish i can be a little more trusting...
and i felt a little guilty towards making peylun and bolin wait for me a really long time cos i was printing my 1 semester's worth of notes! but really thanks for waiting...
alrighty! one more ntu paper next monday, before i'm left with my final paper of the year -- jlpt!!! must jiayou and mug hard for them!!! holidays are coming soon!!! ^^
23 November 2007
is it ok for me to feel so happy and blessed?
i don't know why... i feel kind of insecure sometimes when people are nice to me... because i don't know whether it's an illusion or not... whether they'll forget about being nice to me the next moment... but i suppose all these fears are just me thinking too much on my part? i don't know...
i'm scared i'll get the wrong impression sometimes haha!
paper today turned out ok except for yet another stunt from the examiners... they tested on a question everybody thought would not appear in the paper, so no one studied. and it's not something that can be derived... it's pure memory stuff imo... siandeds. but that's 8 marks... i pray i can get at least half of it haha~
considering i didn't get to sleep properly last night *or more accurately, i didn't sleep at all, i just lie down on my bed...* i'm kind of pleased that i didn't fall asleep during the paper! but once after the paper i became a zombie... was printing my 1 semester's worth of notes for my paper on mon... went for lunch with the ntu clique... lunch was quite fun but would have been more enjoyable if i have had enough sleep earlier on... they were talking about their obs and kayaking experiences... but strangely, i couldn't think nor recall these experiences... maybe it's cos i was too tired, maybe it's cos i didn't remember at all. i don't know... but if i can, i wish i can go obs again, though i am the kind of person who doesn't have the strength and stamina to persevere the tough obstacles and things that they do, but after those activities i always feel i emerge stronger in the mind and character...
and once i reached home, i had a long 3 hr nap...
and i feel like continuing to catch up on sleep right now... yawns.
haha then i shall leave my thoughts till the next time... =)
i don't know why... i feel kind of insecure sometimes when people are nice to me... because i don't know whether it's an illusion or not... whether they'll forget about being nice to me the next moment... but i suppose all these fears are just me thinking too much on my part? i don't know...
i'm scared i'll get the wrong impression sometimes haha!
paper today turned out ok except for yet another stunt from the examiners... they tested on a question everybody thought would not appear in the paper, so no one studied. and it's not something that can be derived... it's pure memory stuff imo... siandeds. but that's 8 marks... i pray i can get at least half of it haha~
considering i didn't get to sleep properly last night *or more accurately, i didn't sleep at all, i just lie down on my bed...* i'm kind of pleased that i didn't fall asleep during the paper! but once after the paper i became a zombie... was printing my 1 semester's worth of notes for my paper on mon... went for lunch with the ntu clique... lunch was quite fun but would have been more enjoyable if i have had enough sleep earlier on... they were talking about their obs and kayaking experiences... but strangely, i couldn't think nor recall these experiences... maybe it's cos i was too tired, maybe it's cos i didn't remember at all. i don't know... but if i can, i wish i can go obs again, though i am the kind of person who doesn't have the strength and stamina to persevere the tough obstacles and things that they do, but after those activities i always feel i emerge stronger in the mind and character...
and once i reached home, i had a long 3 hr nap...
and i feel like continuing to catch up on sleep right now... yawns.
haha then i shall leave my thoughts till the next time... =)
22 November 2007
for a moment i thought i was going to die from all the electromagnetic formulas and computer communication concepts that were attempting to explode out of me...
i feel as though i only have half a soul left in me... trying to hold on to it desperately as it attempts to go to west heaven...
-edit-
i managed to pull my soul back... but my fish went on my behalf... because the stupid pump died on it... now trying our best to save the other fish...
sighz~ pls dun die!!!
-edit 2-
now it's 10pm in the night... we managed to save the second fish... and we bought a new fish to accompany it...
paper today was ok... though i don't know whether i made any silly careless mistakes since i don't have the time to double check my work... but overall i was quite happy cos i managed to solve a qn which needed a little more thinking... though it was only a 4 mark qn... haha!
paper tml is... jialats. i'm nowhere halfway through my notes, haven't looked through pyp... and i don't think i can sleep tonight. but i'm feeling very tired already... =S
was chatting with someone... i'm surprised that a guy like him keeps a diary... but when he told me that he likes to write motivational stuff in his diary so that when he feels sad next time, he will feel better reading his diary. i thought that was... wow. in comparison to my sad and dark blog i have here which i do reread at times... i always come here to rant when i'm feeling down usually... so the memories i leave here are usually quite dark... when i'm feeling sad next time and i come reread my blog i'll probably feel even more depressed... which is not good! so maybe next time i shall write more motivational stuff ^^
which brings me to my next point... i already thought of my next theme for my blog layout... but opps. how many times have i mentioned that this blog needs a new layout and i keep delaying my promise?! ok i really must change the lousy picture on the left with probably a better coloured drawing... and a slightly more cheerful picture... ^^ would be better if the words are orange =)
alrighty... i'm feeling a little more motivated to challenge my notes again... wish me luck!
21 November 2007
omg. this song keeps repeating itself in my head... darn the bossa nova catchy rhythm and tune... but the mtv's so cute too! ah i want show's album!!! \(TTmTT)/
*paiseh for the really long lyrics...*
败给你
歌手：罗志祥/萧亚轩
s:陪你讲冷笑话
像冻到北极
要我陪你吃冰
恋爱是什么逻辑
算算星座和命理
到底谁在你心里
你这么惊天地
就要一路证明
谁在乎我有的比
当我一遇上你
却那么情不自禁
肯宁愿你蹂躏
你什么时候要回去你们火星
我越来越介意
做梦也梦到你
这算是我的天敌
e:你爱罗嗦又爱生气
喜欢我还嘴硬
好面子又假生气
s:好想被你吃定
败给你说话的眼睛
败给你微笑的魔力
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经
爱上你这是我的命
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
e:请问你还逼得我抓得那么紧
只是穿得性感些而已
你明明很自恋
让人等好着急
我心中你是第一名耐心还有爱心
爱不是有帅气就可以
拜托你别一直耍嘴皮
oh my oh my oh my oh my
s:什么时候要付出你那颗心
我越来越介意
做梦也梦到你
这算是我的天敌
e:很奇怪只要看到你
就变得好开心(s:有吗)
我已不能判你出局
s:我想把你吃定
败给你说话的眼睛
败给你微笑的魔力
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经
爱上你这是我的命
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
s:败给你爱上了你
看到小狗就蹲下去
骗自己你一定充满
我没发现的爱心
e:败给你爱上你
看不见你会生病
原来我也有害怕你
突然不见的危机
s:你也有温柔的时候
害我抬起头以为天上下着红雨
不然就是我还没有睡醒
只有一个我在意着的一个你
竟然的让我爱你
想你一天又一天又一天
我败给你说话的眼睛(e:败给你)
败给你微笑的魔力(e:我爱上你)
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起(e:想每天跟你在一起)
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经(s:我败给你)
爱上你这是我的命(s:我爱上你)
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
败给你说话的眼睛(e: woo 败给你)
败给你微笑的魔力(s: yeah yeah yeah )
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经(e: woo 败给你)
爱上你这是我的命(s:我败给你 e:爱上你)
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
*paiseh for the really long lyrics...*
败给你
歌手：罗志祥/萧亚轩
s:陪你讲冷笑话
像冻到北极
要我陪你吃冰
恋爱是什么逻辑
算算星座和命理
到底谁在你心里
你这么惊天地
就要一路证明
谁在乎我有的比
当我一遇上你
却那么情不自禁
肯宁愿你蹂躏
你什么时候要回去你们火星
我越来越介意
做梦也梦到你
这算是我的天敌
e:你爱罗嗦又爱生气
喜欢我还嘴硬
好面子又假生气
s:好想被你吃定
败给你说话的眼睛
败给你微笑的魔力
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经
爱上你这是我的命
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
e:请问你还逼得我抓得那么紧
只是穿得性感些而已
你明明很自恋
让人等好着急
我心中你是第一名耐心还有爱心
爱不是有帅气就可以
拜托你别一直耍嘴皮
oh my oh my oh my oh my
s:什么时候要付出你那颗心
我越来越介意
做梦也梦到你
这算是我的天敌
e:很奇怪只要看到你
就变得好开心(s:有吗)
我已不能判你出局
s:我想把你吃定
败给你说话的眼睛
败给你微笑的魔力
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经
爱上你这是我的命
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
s:败给你爱上了你
看到小狗就蹲下去
骗自己你一定充满
我没发现的爱心
e:败给你爱上你
看不见你会生病
原来我也有害怕你
突然不见的危机
s:你也有温柔的时候
害我抬起头以为天上下着红雨
不然就是我还没有睡醒
只有一个我在意着的一个你
竟然的让我爱你
想你一天又一天又一天
我败给你说话的眼睛(e:败给你)
败给你微笑的魔力(e:我爱上你)
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起(e:想每天跟你在一起)
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经(s:我败给你)
爱上你这是我的命(s:我爱上你)
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
败给你说话的眼睛(e: woo 败给你)
败给你微笑的魔力(s: yeah yeah yeah )
不知不觉想每天跟你在一起
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo love
败给你少一根神经(e: woo 败给你)
爱上你这是我的命(s:我败给你 e:爱上你)
我们世界原来就等这默契
woo baby baby woo baby baby woo
18 November 2007
泣かないで。。。
i suppose we're all in pain. feeling hurt from different things which we may or may not let the rest of the world know. deep down hidden in one corner of our private world we're crying... if we're lucky, someone might understand our pain and stay beside us, giving us inspiration and hope and encouragement... and we'll eventually stop crying. but some others might not be so lucky...
have i found my inspiration?
have you?
if you haven't, am i worthy to become your inspiration?
i suppose we're all in pain. feeling hurt from different things which we may or may not let the rest of the world know. deep down hidden in one corner of our private world we're crying... if we're lucky, someone might understand our pain and stay beside us, giving us inspiration and hope and encouragement... and we'll eventually stop crying. but some others might not be so lucky...
have i found my inspiration?
have you?
if you haven't, am i worthy to become your inspiration?
17 November 2007
ahh after trying desperately to upload photos for the past week, finally i managed to upload one. i thought there's a problem with my laptop and even wanted to find time to reformat it! lolx~ glad that i can finally upload...
cheer up qing yu! and to people other than me... welcome to my... messy house? lol!
i just woke up from a nightmare... i would classify it as my nightmare because it kinda reflects my inner fears...
i dreamt that someone proposed to me and i happily accepted. but at the wedding it was disrupted by my relatives who tried to kill me and my "future" husband... by stealing our wedding rings which would protect us from harm *ok it has special powers* and by hiding one of my kids *yes i dreamt i had 2 kids before i got married. omg*... we snatched back our rings and looked for my kid who was hidden in a cupboard... the poor kid... and then later when everything was resolved i was in a party with my family... everybody was dressed up really pretty and handsome-ly... and then my dad revealed that he's going to die... i was so stunned that i started tearing right away... but my mother added that he's going to die from eating all the room service cos he'll be flying to some faraway place again. but even when this was revealed as a joke... i was quite frightened by that joke and even noticed my father was packing some really weird stuff into his luggage as though he's going somewhere far away and never coming back...
i don't know why i feel so stunned even after i woke up. everything felt so real that i'm afraid my dream wasn't just a dream but it might become reality. of course i'm not trying to curse my family or anything, but i'm scared that when i go shanghai far away from them, something might happen without my knowing... that's y it's a nightmare and even after i wake up, i can't smile and laugh at the stupidity of me having 2 kids before i marry.
i dreamt that someone proposed to me and i happily accepted. but at the wedding it was disrupted by my relatives who tried to kill me and my "future" husband... by stealing our wedding rings which would protect us from harm *ok it has special powers* and by hiding one of my kids *yes i dreamt i had 2 kids before i got married. omg*... we snatched back our rings and looked for my kid who was hidden in a cupboard... the poor kid... and then later when everything was resolved i was in a party with my family... everybody was dressed up really pretty and handsome-ly... and then my dad revealed that he's going to die... i was so stunned that i started tearing right away... but my mother added that he's going to die from eating all the room service cos he'll be flying to some faraway place again. but even when this was revealed as a joke... i was quite frightened by that joke and even noticed my father was packing some really weird stuff into his luggage as though he's going somewhere far away and never coming back...
i don't know why i feel so stunned even after i woke up. everything felt so real that i'm afraid my dream wasn't just a dream but it might become reality. of course i'm not trying to curse my family or anything, but i'm scared that when i go shanghai far away from them, something might happen without my knowing... that's y it's a nightmare and even after i wake up, i can't smile and laugh at the stupidity of me having 2 kids before i marry.
15 November 2007
ok paiseh! today is lyrics day! got 3 songs i wanna post today, so scroll down if u wanna see wad i really have to say about today... when i'm feeling super stressed i like to listen to songs and sing... that's my way of destressing, so when i come across great songs i wish i can share with the whole world... haha~
first song of today... really love the 曲风... and somehow this song is like singing my desire for the kind of love i'm looking for... ahh~ 梁静茹 is still my idol!!! XD
一秒的天堂
歌手：梁静茹
他是谁没有姓名没有性别
他是谁连吻别也吻得那麽完美
他是谁给我翅膀不让我飞
他爱谁爱上了谁又离开了谁
爱是磁铁爱是潮水爱风花雪月
爱一千零一夜爱是第一眼
就过了一万年
我要的爱有一种魔幻一秒的天堂
会让我奋不顾身去闯去受伤
再让我吞下时空胶囊迷茫的辗转
好像我明明到过天堂却忘了
喝太醉往事往往容易倾斜
夜太黑纯洁一夜一夜烧成了灰
想太美思念细的好像纤维
那个谁谁是我的最后那一个谁
爱是听觉爱是嗅觉爱天真无邪
爱是错觉幻觉爱可能是个
那甜蜜的魔鬼
我要的爱有一种魔幻一秒的天堂
会让我奋不顾身去闯去受伤
再让我吞下时空胶囊迷茫的辗转
好像我明明到过天堂却忘了
我要的爱有一种魔幻一秒的天堂
会让我奋不顾身去闯去受伤
再让我吞下时空胶囊迷茫的辗转
好像我明明到过天堂却忘了
不管谁我要我的魔幻一秒的太阳
我要我有向日葵一样的皇冠
我只要日正当中荡漾蔚蓝的海岸
天快亮爱在闪闪发亮正前方
next up is a song that my brother was stunned when he heard me humming the tune at dinner time... LOL. he told me that he knows this tune and wanted me to continue humming, much to my surprise cos i kinda expect him to tell me to shaddup cos i'm being noisy hahaha~ erms... i heard this song first on cc's car when hitching a ride somewhere together with pansy... the version i heard was 梁静茹 with 品冠... but the original was from music and lyrics, song title is...
Way Back into Love
I've been living with a shadow over head
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
and if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
last song for today is actually a song i like from quite some time back, in F.I.R's latest album, just waiting for me to put the lyrics up someday haha~ it's one of the few songs in faye's *crazy* range that i can hum most of the time... though not the entire song haha~
真爱地图
歌手：F.I.R
指间穿越发稍 合十随风祈祷
松开后听不到你的心跳
如果能有预兆 交换时间颠倒
我只想用泪痕刻下你的记号
oh~这真爱地图多斑驳模糊
我还拼凑那幸福
选择了深爱 眼泪擦乾 用期待
灌溉一片森林海
让悲伤绽放心底的呐喊
决定了深爱 就不悔改 多勇敢
这就是真实的爱
最后再没有谁能伤害
写下最美的路途等你回来
ok... now onto the thing that's stressing me...
i swear... my neighbour must have some weird prejudice against me.
just when my parents claim that they have not been drilling these days, i happily sat down at my study desk to start studying... THEY STARTED DRILLING AGAIN. DAMMIT. do they have some secret weird detectors stuck beneath my study desk chair? i swear they have some peeping spy hole connecting between our houses. else how in the world do they find such a perfect timing to ruin the peacefulness of the quiet day???
sighz. looks like they just stopped? lolx~
*note:after that they started drilling again when i started studying again. arghs!*
so many things i want to talk about, but i wonder... if it's ok to talk about them haha! confused about quite a few things... today's paper wasn't good cos i kinda had really high expectations of myself *well it's one of my best subjects this semester* and i actually forgot how to do one particular part of the qn... to others it seem like i'm being stuck up probably but oh well, i'm disappointed with my performance today. which should spur me to work harder for my upcoming papers, but i've kinda slacked my entire day away sleeping slowly reading integrated electronics tutorial and notes... sighz.
i accidentally overheard my parents conversation about me going shanghai next year... before this i know i'll probably miss my family loads, but when my mum secretly told my dad *they presumed i didn't know cos i was supposedly in my room hahaha* she told my dad i'll confirm miss home one or two months after i'm in shanghai... i felt so damn gek? haha i dunno how to describe that feeling, but now i feel like i dun wanna miss them and let them laugh at me wahahahahaha~ i'll prove u guys wrong man =)
other things... should i get myself a diary? since i can't blog when i go shanghai probably... sighz. some things that i want to leave open online, some things i want to vent out but they can't be seen or heard by others probably. i feel like i'm a mess of things =S
i hope all these is not just a joke... before i take things too seriously...
first song of today... really love the 曲风... and somehow this song is like singing my desire for the kind of love i'm looking for... ahh~ 梁静茹 is still my idol!!! XD
一秒的天堂
歌手：梁静茹
他是谁没有姓名没有性别
他是谁连吻别也吻得那麽完美
他是谁给我翅膀不让我飞
他爱谁爱上了谁又离开了谁
爱是磁铁爱是潮水爱风花雪月
爱一千零一夜爱是第一眼
就过了一万年
我要的爱有一种魔幻一秒的天堂
会让我奋不顾身去闯去受伤
再让我吞下时空胶囊迷茫的辗转
好像我明明到过天堂却忘了
喝太醉往事往往容易倾斜
夜太黑纯洁一夜一夜烧成了灰
想太美思念细的好像纤维
那个谁谁是我的最后那一个谁
爱是听觉爱是嗅觉爱天真无邪
爱是错觉幻觉爱可能是个
那甜蜜的魔鬼
我要的爱有一种魔幻一秒的天堂
会让我奋不顾身去闯去受伤
再让我吞下时空胶囊迷茫的辗转
好像我明明到过天堂却忘了
我要的爱有一种魔幻一秒的天堂
会让我奋不顾身去闯去受伤
再让我吞下时空胶囊迷茫的辗转
好像我明明到过天堂却忘了
不管谁我要我的魔幻一秒的太阳
我要我有向日葵一样的皇冠
我只要日正当中荡漾蔚蓝的海岸
天快亮爱在闪闪发亮正前方
next up is a song that my brother was stunned when he heard me humming the tune at dinner time... LOL. he told me that he knows this tune and wanted me to continue humming, much to my surprise cos i kinda expect him to tell me to shaddup cos i'm being noisy hahaha~ erms... i heard this song first on cc's car when hitching a ride somewhere together with pansy... the version i heard was 梁静茹 with 品冠... but the original was from music and lyrics, song title is...
Way Back into Love
I've been living with a shadow over head
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
and if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
last song for today is actually a song i like from quite some time back, in F.I.R's latest album, just waiting for me to put the lyrics up someday haha~ it's one of the few songs in faye's *crazy* range that i can hum most of the time... though not the entire song haha~
真爱地图
歌手：F.I.R
指间穿越发稍 合十随风祈祷
松开后听不到你的心跳
如果能有预兆 交换时间颠倒
我只想用泪痕刻下你的记号
oh~这真爱地图多斑驳模糊
我还拼凑那幸福
选择了深爱 眼泪擦乾 用期待
灌溉一片森林海
让悲伤绽放心底的呐喊
决定了深爱 就不悔改 多勇敢
这就是真实的爱
最后再没有谁能伤害
写下最美的路途等你回来
ok... now onto the thing that's stressing me...
i swear... my neighbour must have some weird prejudice against me.
just when my parents claim that they have not been drilling these days, i happily sat down at my study desk to start studying... THEY STARTED DRILLING AGAIN. DAMMIT. do they have some secret weird detectors stuck beneath my study desk chair? i swear they have some peeping spy hole connecting between our houses. else how in the world do they find such a perfect timing to ruin the peacefulness of the quiet day???
sighz. looks like they just stopped? lolx~
*note:after that they started drilling again when i started studying again. arghs!*
so many things i want to talk about, but i wonder... if it's ok to talk about them haha! confused about quite a few things... today's paper wasn't good cos i kinda had really high expectations of myself *well it's one of my best subjects this semester* and i actually forgot how to do one particular part of the qn... to others it seem like i'm being stuck up probably but oh well, i'm disappointed with my performance today. which should spur me to work harder for my upcoming papers, but i've kinda slacked my entire day away sleeping slowly reading integrated electronics tutorial and notes... sighz.
i accidentally overheard my parents conversation about me going shanghai next year... before this i know i'll probably miss my family loads, but when my mum secretly told my dad *they presumed i didn't know cos i was supposedly in my room hahaha* she told my dad i'll confirm miss home one or two months after i'm in shanghai... i felt so damn gek? haha i dunno how to describe that feeling, but now i feel like i dun wanna miss them and let them laugh at me wahahahahaha~ i'll prove u guys wrong man =)
other things... should i get myself a diary? since i can't blog when i go shanghai probably... sighz. some things that i want to leave open online, some things i want to vent out but they can't be seen or heard by others probably. i feel like i'm a mess of things =S
i hope all these is not just a joke... before i take things too seriously...
14 November 2007
another 9.5 hrs to my first exam paper of the semester! feeling damn tireds but i haven't finished studying...
i wonder when have i become like this. others think it's so hard to approach me for help... they think i prefer to be left alone. and i feel quite guilty cos i really feel this way sometimes. i don't know when i've become so adverse to helping others out. my initial response whenever someone asks me for help these days will be... what? you want help? =S instead of... oh yes i'll help in whatever way i can back in the past.
haha this brings me back to some time last week. pansy knew i had some interest in tarot cards and the like superstition, and she just picked up 姓名学... which is like predicting a person's life and personality based on that person's chinese name... and for me... as depicted by the "calculation" i'll be someone who'll be a loner... eeks. i hate to admit it. but i'm quite scared of that happening lol. my close jc friends will know why i say this haha~ just that i don't admit it these days... i think me becoming so cold and indifferent to other people's problems will distant me even further from others. but i don't dare to get too close to others either. argh! i hate to be pulled along by fate so i told myself i'm going to struggle against it... but opps, looks like i'm in that path fate has brought me all along... =S
time to change my attitude towards others when they ask for help! =X
i wonder when have i become like this. others think it's so hard to approach me for help... they think i prefer to be left alone. and i feel quite guilty cos i really feel this way sometimes. i don't know when i've become so adverse to helping others out. my initial response whenever someone asks me for help these days will be... what? you want help? =S instead of... oh yes i'll help in whatever way i can back in the past.
haha this brings me back to some time last week. pansy knew i had some interest in tarot cards and the like superstition, and she just picked up 姓名学... which is like predicting a person's life and personality based on that person's chinese name... and for me... as depicted by the "calculation" i'll be someone who'll be a loner... eeks. i hate to admit it. but i'm quite scared of that happening lol. my close jc friends will know why i say this haha~ just that i don't admit it these days... i think me becoming so cold and indifferent to other people's problems will distant me even further from others. but i don't dare to get too close to others either. argh! i hate to be pulled along by fate so i told myself i'm going to struggle against it... but opps, looks like i'm in that path fate has brought me all along... =S
time to change my attitude towards others when they ask for help! =X
13 November 2007
joke of the day night... name has been censored and so we shall call this funny friend of mine xxx.
xxx: hey, can i ask you about *subject name censored*? have you done 07 may paper?
me: oh i'm doing the 06 nov paper now, haven't looked at the 07 paper yet. so wassup with the 07 paper?
xxx: oh nothing lor. it's just more updated.
ok i guess i just have a low threshold for this kind of stuff...
xxx: hey, can i ask you about *subject name censored*? have you done 07 may paper?
me: oh i'm doing the 06 nov paper now, haven't looked at the 07 paper yet. so wassup with the 07 paper?
xxx: oh nothing lor. it's just more updated.
ok i guess i just have a low threshold for this kind of stuff...
11 November 2007
你最近還好嗎
歌手:S.H.E
挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底 你能不能收到它
天有點冷 風有點大 城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎 是不是也在思念裏掙紮
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎 忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我 快向快樂出發
有再多的牽掛都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尷尬
昨天遠了 明天還長 回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更听话
你最近還好嗎 是不是也在思念裏掙紮
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎 忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我 快向快樂出發
你最近還好嗎 是不是也在思念裏掙紮
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎 忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我 快向快樂出發
歌手:S.H.E
挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底 你能不能收到它
天有點冷 風有點大 城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎 是不是也在思念裏掙紮
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎 忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我 快向快樂出發
有再多的牽掛都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尷尬
昨天遠了 明天還長 回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更听话
你最近還好嗎 是不是也在思念裏掙紮
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎 忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我 快向快樂出發
你最近還好嗎 是不是也在思念裏掙紮
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎 忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我 快向快樂出發
i've never felt like puking so much before. not literally. ok maybe it can become literal. i'm suffering from overdose of software engineering. and i feel like killing the person who set the tutorial questions. i spent the entire night trying to memorise a tutorial by first reading and memorising the notes, then turning to the tutorial to see if my memory work is there. BUT the tutorial questions are totally unrelated to the notes!!! OMG. RAWR. wad a total waste of time. and by the time i started memorising the tutorial solution my mind was saturated from the notes =S originally i can memorise the entire tutorial in 2 hrs, now i need 1hr to memorise 1qn out of total of 7 qns in the entire tutorial. *pukes*
even green tea isn't helping. guess it's the lack of sleep then...
even green tea isn't helping. guess it's the lack of sleep then...
08 November 2007
i felt like i've cried out my soul... the accumulated grief and sorrow for the past few years... thanks to pey lun... thanks for listening. i really feel much much better now. and little more hopeful. maybe i can trust and believe in others a little more now. and to stop denying myself of my happiness... yes! a step closer to making my birthday wish come true!
i'm too serious about others petty remarks at times... i'm sorry for that. so i'll take note on my attitude towards them when such things happen in the future. actually i'm quite mad at myself for being upset over some comments or remarks that are just irresponsible or 没经过大脑... so now, i'll control my irritation or anger by looking at events in a different light so that i wouldn't be so easily pissed. pissed not pissed at ok?
for now... let's throw all these to the back of mind... and 加油！がんばって！i believe i can finish my tutorials by sunday! *another freaking 9 tutorials waiting for me...*
i'm too serious about others petty remarks at times... i'm sorry for that. so i'll take note on my attitude towards them when such things happen in the future. actually i'm quite mad at myself for being upset over some comments or remarks that are just irresponsible or 没经过大脑... so now, i'll control my irritation or anger by looking at events in a different light so that i wouldn't be so easily pissed. pissed not pissed at ok?
for now... let's throw all these to the back of mind... and 加油！がんばって！i believe i can finish my tutorials by sunday! *another freaking 9 tutorials waiting for me...*
Umbrella
By YUI
ちゃぶ ちゃぶ 雨がふる二丁目の路地
あなたを迎えに駅までゆくの
ちゃぶ ちゃぶ 本当はケンカしたから
放っておきたいけれど...
黒い傘 忘れてた だから
待ってるのよ ずっと待ってるの
許してあげる だから早く my darling
改札口が見える この場所で
困り果てた あなたの事 捜すけれど
今夜も帰りが遅いね
ちゃぶ ちゃぶ降り続く二人の間に
小さな水たまり
白い靴 汚れてた だけど
待ってるのよ ずっと待ってるの
許してあげる だから早く my darling
改札口が見える この場所で
手を振っている あなたの事 捜すけれど
今夜も帰りが遅いね
わかってるはずなのに
雨が降るたび ここに来てしまう
今夜も 待ってるのよ ずっと待ってるの
許してほしい あたしのこと my darling
改札口が暗くなるたびに
優しかった あなたの事 想って泣いた
今夜も帰りが遅いね 今夜も帰りが遅いね
Here's the english translation ^^
Pitter, patter, rain falls on the alleyway between two city blocks
I'm going to the station to meet you
Pitter, patter, actually we had a fight
I wanted to leave you alone
But you forgot your black umbrella
I wait, I'll wait forever
I forgive you, so hurry, my darling
I can see where the ticket gates are
But I was confused, I will search through the things about you
Tonight you're late home again
Pitter, patter, it continued to rain between the two of us
These little drops of water
Made my white shoes dirty, but...
I wait, I'll wait forever
I forgive you, so hurry, my darling
I can see where the ticket gates are
Though I will be waving, I will search through the things about you
Tonight you're late home again
You should know
That when it rains I'll come here
Tonight I wait again, I'll wait forever
I want to forgive you for your actions, my darling
Each time the ticket gate becomes dark
I thought of how sweet you were and cried
Tonight, you're home late again
Tonight, you're home late again
By YUI
ちゃぶ ちゃぶ 雨がふる二丁目の路地
あなたを迎えに駅までゆくの
ちゃぶ ちゃぶ 本当はケンカしたから
放っておきたいけれど...
黒い傘 忘れてた だから
待ってるのよ ずっと待ってるの
許してあげる だから早く my darling
改札口が見える この場所で
困り果てた あなたの事 捜すけれど
今夜も帰りが遅いね
ちゃぶ ちゃぶ降り続く二人の間に
小さな水たまり
白い靴 汚れてた だけど
待ってるのよ ずっと待ってるの
許してあげる だから早く my darling
改札口が見える この場所で
手を振っている あなたの事 捜すけれど
今夜も帰りが遅いね
わかってるはずなのに
雨が降るたび ここに来てしまう
今夜も 待ってるのよ ずっと待ってるの
許してほしい あたしのこと my darling
改札口が暗くなるたびに
優しかった あなたの事 想って泣いた
今夜も帰りが遅いね 今夜も帰りが遅いね
Here's the english translation ^^
Pitter, patter, rain falls on the alleyway between two city blocks
I'm going to the station to meet you
Pitter, patter, actually we had a fight
I wanted to leave you alone
But you forgot your black umbrella
I wait, I'll wait forever
I forgive you, so hurry, my darling
I can see where the ticket gates are
But I was confused, I will search through the things about you
Tonight you're late home again
Pitter, patter, it continued to rain between the two of us
These little drops of water
Made my white shoes dirty, but...
I wait, I'll wait forever
I forgive you, so hurry, my darling
I can see where the ticket gates are
Though I will be waving, I will search through the things about you
Tonight you're late home again
You should know
That when it rains I'll come here
Tonight I wait again, I'll wait forever
I want to forgive you for your actions, my darling
Each time the ticket gate becomes dark
I thought of how sweet you were and cried
Tonight, you're home late again
Tonight, you're home late again
07 November 2007
sometimes i just think that i'm a really difficult person.
i hate it whenever i get angry or upset. which i do very often these days at people who most probably don't have the intention of making me so. maybe it's just that i haven't been mixing with people long enough for me to control my temper proper. or maybe it's just that i'm taking everything too seriously? i don't know. sometimes i kind of feel bad in afterthought after i threw my temper or something. but sometimes when i fly into a rage i don't feel i'm in the wrong.
whenever others are upset or angry, i always tell them this: take in a deep breath. sometimes in the heat of things it's hard to do so isn't it. rage will fling all your rational thoughts and restrain on yourself far to the back of your mind. how then, can one train up their level of tolerance when they face this kind of things? interact with "irritating" people more often? lolx~
in order to find out more, i did an internet search. guess what? the articles that turned up are mostly meant for kids. ok i'm sorry i'm behaving like a kid ok. =(
anyways, some tips from the sites i came across...
from http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Your-Temper
1. Realise that things can be handled well at times, it's just a matter of what kind of attitude you put into it.
2. Get away from situations where your anger might get the best of you. (eg. ignore the person irritating you etc.)
3. When you are angry, stay calm and take deep breaths, close your eyes for a while and you will find that the situation is under control, and slowly master your anger.
from http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Your-Anger
1. When angry, be diplomatic or make a witty comment, instead of yelling. This way, if the other person overreacts, it makes you look good and them look bad.
2. Try thinking of stuff that you are thankful for. The more specific, the better. You can't be truly angry and thankful at the same time.
3. Meditation is a useful way to release stress and/or anxiety, which are often prerequisites to anger. Do not meditate when you are angry, as this could have a negative effect on your anger. Instead, meditate when you have calmed down and are in complete control of your thoughts and emotions.
4. Remember, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side. XD
haha i wonder if i'm witty enough to make witty comments... but yeaps, hope that i'll be able to have more self-restrain on my emotions the next time i meet with similar situations...
i hate it whenever i get angry or upset. which i do very often these days at people who most probably don't have the intention of making me so. maybe it's just that i haven't been mixing with people long enough for me to control my temper proper. or maybe it's just that i'm taking everything too seriously? i don't know. sometimes i kind of feel bad in afterthought after i threw my temper or something. but sometimes when i fly into a rage i don't feel i'm in the wrong.
whenever others are upset or angry, i always tell them this: take in a deep breath. sometimes in the heat of things it's hard to do so isn't it. rage will fling all your rational thoughts and restrain on yourself far to the back of your mind. how then, can one train up their level of tolerance when they face this kind of things? interact with "irritating" people more often? lolx~
in order to find out more, i did an internet search. guess what? the articles that turned up are mostly meant for kids. ok i'm sorry i'm behaving like a kid ok. =(
anyways, some tips from the sites i came across...
from http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Your-Temper
1. Realise that things can be handled well at times, it's just a matter of what kind of attitude you put into it.
2. Get away from situations where your anger might get the best of you. (eg. ignore the person irritating you etc.)
3. When you are angry, stay calm and take deep breaths, close your eyes for a while and you will find that the situation is under control, and slowly master your anger.
from http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Your-Anger
1. When angry, be diplomatic or make a witty comment, instead of yelling. This way, if the other person overreacts, it makes you look good and them look bad.
2. Try thinking of stuff that you are thankful for. The more specific, the better. You can't be truly angry and thankful at the same time.
3. Meditation is a useful way to release stress and/or anxiety, which are often prerequisites to anger. Do not meditate when you are angry, as this could have a negative effect on your anger. Instead, meditate when you have calmed down and are in complete control of your thoughts and emotions.
4. Remember, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side. XD
haha i wonder if i'm witty enough to make witty comments... but yeaps, hope that i'll be able to have more self-restrain on my emotions the next time i meet with similar situations...
06 November 2007
i want to chase away depression, tears and bad memories!
nothing will bring me down! never say die!
wad about that bad dream? or my bad grades? wad's most important now is to finish up my work and do well for my exams. that's the only way to salvage the current situation, so don't be down! 元気に出して！がんばって！
加油！
nothing will bring me down! never say die!
wad about that bad dream? or my bad grades? wad's most important now is to finish up my work and do well for my exams. that's the only way to salvage the current situation, so don't be down! 元気に出して！がんばって！
加油！
04 November 2007
been procrastinating the entire day... morning i skipped swimming with my family, saying i wanted more sleep. then in the afternoon i played a chinese rpg my friend sent me yesterday.... now it's 7.20pm and i'm still sulking here, eating my first proper meal of the day.
how should one handle people who are nice to you because they want something from being nice to you? and after that if they see no profit in being nice to you, they'll just ignore you? i tried to ask my mum for advise, and she says just avoid coming into contact with them. but running away is not a solution. another way out would be to be nice to them and eat off whatever profits one can gain from being on close terms with them. but that's kinda against my principles.
talking to randy really made me feel much better... it's inevitable that we have to come into contact with such people despite how hard we try to avoid them... so once they come up to you and start asking for something, it is advised to...
1. reject in ways depending on your current steam level.
- steam level 1: tell them that you don't have it with you at the moment
- steam level 2: tell them you don't want to give it to them
- steam level 3: tell them you wouldn't even give it to them over your dead body
2. always try to remain neutral with them. it's not good if you go 翻脸 with them and make things really 疆... erms dunno whether the chinese word is correct or not... haha~
3. if u're really irritated with this kind of person, practise smiling. criteria of this kind of smile are as follows:
- fake
- is a function of time where it lasts not more than a second
hahas... enough of ranting... i hope i'll stop procrastinating and go do my tutorials after dinner... =(
how should one handle people who are nice to you because they want something from being nice to you? and after that if they see no profit in being nice to you, they'll just ignore you? i tried to ask my mum for advise, and she says just avoid coming into contact with them. but running away is not a solution. another way out would be to be nice to them and eat off whatever profits one can gain from being on close terms with them. but that's kinda against my principles.
talking to randy really made me feel much better... it's inevitable that we have to come into contact with such people despite how hard we try to avoid them... so once they come up to you and start asking for something, it is advised to...
1. reject in ways depending on your current steam level.
- steam level 1: tell them that you don't have it with you at the moment
- steam level 2: tell them you don't want to give it to them
- steam level 3: tell them you wouldn't even give it to them over your dead body
2. always try to remain neutral with them. it's not good if you go 翻脸 with them and make things really 疆... erms dunno whether the chinese word is correct or not... haha~
3. if u're really irritated with this kind of person, practise smiling. criteria of this kind of smile are as follows:
- fake
- is a function of time where it lasts not more than a second
hahas... enough of ranting... i hope i'll stop procrastinating and go do my tutorials after dinner... =(
01 November 2007
it's time to say goodbye to Halloween *and just about time to say hi to November... argh!* another yet... unproductive? day? lolx~ i guess having overworked isn't such a good thing afterall...
and stupid me decided to snack on nuts today! argh there goes my diet! my weight went back up to before the diet!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! rawrs. so to kind of compensate for the extra weight i put on just cos of my snacks, i went jogging again =(
well if i did mention here before, i really hated jogging. it's the most boring sport i can ever think of... u just keep running like no tomorrow, to just shed excess energy and weight. not fun at all! but... jogging clears your mind... when i'm running in the stadium... the only thought in my mind was... another xxx rounds! jiayou! *ok i'm a lousy runner i need such motivation to keep myself moving* yups... it has some sort of optimistic motivation for me... and i can think about the things that had been troubling me while counting and trying to keep my pace... sounds like ultra multitasking haha~
anyways... there's no point for me to feel upset over something's that's past for so long. though even up till now i still have my resentments towards an individual... but there's nothing i can do. and no point in patching up now i suppose. though it would have been a good idea, but i'd wonder about each others' motives if that really happens. so yeaps. things wouldn't change. life still goes on whether i like it a not. but i can choose to live each day in pain or to live each day with happiness. i want the latter. and small things like these can't beat me down! yeahs!
now... onward to my tutorials!
and stupid me decided to snack on nuts today! argh there goes my diet! my weight went back up to before the diet!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! rawrs. so to kind of compensate for the extra weight i put on just cos of my snacks, i went jogging again =(
well if i did mention here before, i really hated jogging. it's the most boring sport i can ever think of... u just keep running like no tomorrow, to just shed excess energy and weight. not fun at all! but... jogging clears your mind... when i'm running in the stadium... the only thought in my mind was... another xxx rounds! jiayou! *ok i'm a lousy runner i need such motivation to keep myself moving* yups... it has some sort of optimistic motivation for me... and i can think about the things that had been troubling me while counting and trying to keep my pace... sounds like ultra multitasking haha~
anyways... there's no point for me to feel upset over something's that's past for so long. though even up till now i still have my resentments towards an individual... but there's nothing i can do. and no point in patching up now i suppose. though it would have been a good idea, but i'd wonder about each others' motives if that really happens. so yeaps. things wouldn't change. life still goes on whether i like it a not. but i can choose to live each day in pain or to live each day with happiness. i want the latter. and small things like these can't beat me down! yeahs!
now... onward to my tutorials!
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