ohayo~ *sniffles a yawn*

hmms... realised i haven't been blogging quite some time.. hahaz... guess i'm really really tired these few days... been kinda busy wif all sorts of stuff....

yesterday juz went out the whole day wif my family on a shopping trip... omg. i went into shopping frenzy yesterday and bought loads of clothes.... -_- i guess for me alone i spent over 100 bucks le lohz.... haven't find job yet... den waste so much $$ le... =X

hahaz... had fun yesterday wif my mum and my sis though... my sis kept looking at shoes.. den me n my mum looking and clothes... den somehow... i kept "dian"ing my sis... so i accuse my sis of "dian"ing me.... in the end... through various "experiment"s which consists of me "dian"ing my sis and my mum numerous times... i've come to the conclusion that.. actually.. i'm the one "dian"ing them.... ha~ think it's caused by me sweeping my hand wif my shorts... resulting in static formed.... hahaz... but the experiment also resulted in my sis having this fear whenever i approach her.... muahahahaz~

todae... guess i'll probably be out the whole day... going to drop by west mall laters to tell pansy that i'm taking up the job starting tml... =X 11-10 lehz... selling... er.... inner beauty at west mall... hahaz... eh... if ur wan can come patronise larz... but.. aiyah... juz pretend u dunno me.. ha~ =X

and kelvin ar... who says i'm going to be a mannequine... -_- not even in ur dreams lehz... i wanna save u from having nightmares... hahahahahaz~

geez... very very tired.... think i might be falling sick soon... =X *sniff sniff*

hey heyz~ merry christmas eve!!! XD

all of a sudden... my tagboard is flooding wif loads of furnie comments... niaoing each other... had a fun time laffing at all the comments... at the same time... feeling this warmth in my heart... maybe this is the spirit of christmas? hahaz...

hmms... all of a sudden feel like crying... oso dunno y... hahaz...

reading other pple's blogs as well... laffing at their furnie comments as well... hehez...

juz feel... this smile... slowly being registered on my face...

okies larz... sorry for the weird stuff written upstairs... i mean... maybe i haven't really woken up... hahaz...

it's been a rather... tiring but happy days of being busy wif christmas prep, eh... eating tang yuans... eh... den going out to look for jobs...

went out yesterday wif pansy and kelvin... den went jurong point... originally told pansy.. heyz.. let's go shopping... in the end we went shopping for jobs... hahaz... it was the first time i ever went out to start asking ard for jobs... and so i was... very scared.. lolz~

den... i came to the comics connection shop.. and saw... they're employing pple!!! hahahahaz.. was darn happy... thinking of going in to apply for the job.. budden... they say dey dun wan students... *sobz sobz* pansy was still there saying.. if i got the job i'll be so darn happy... =X budden... reality's so so cruel... haiz...

next... went out of comics connection... view shifted to the jigsaw puzzle shop there.... den me and pansy suddenly went into a frenzy... JIGSAW PUZZLE!!! den the two of us started running towards the shop to see whether they're trying to employ pple... den realised we looked like two idiots wif kelvin walking slowly behind us.. *bet he was wondering wad the two of us are up to, or he's laffing at the two of us.. hahaz* so we walked slowly... and i once again "plucked up" courage to go in and enquire abt the job... budden... once again.. they're not employing students who are waiting for a level results... sobz~

geez... that's all for the job hunt yesterday.. hahaz.. cos the rest of the time it was pansy in action... hahaz... den she talked a little abt this banquet job... which i'm kinda interested... budden... dunno lehz.. lolz~

todae wake up... walked like a mini zombie... sis using comp...so i made a beeline to my dining table... first thing i saw... the classified section of the straits times... so started flipping without any.... conscious action? hahaz.. dunno... den looking at the job listings... wondering if i should start calling.. but.. dun dare lehz.. lolz~

sheesh... i din know i'm so timid... =X

maybe i'll start calling after christmas.. ha~

aniwae... juz drank banana milk for breakfast... *which is the only one out of two things made from bananas that are nice. hahaz~* wondering how my day would be laters...

cos.. later going to p school gathering... which someone quite influential in my p school life would be there... or rather.. 2 pple who are influential in my p school life would be there... hahaz... dunno whether i'm excited or wad.... somehow... all of a sudden i dun feel like going.. hahaz... dunno lehz.. maybe cos i feel christmas eves and christmas should be spent wif my loved ones? hahaz.... feeling a bit bad for pangsehing my loved ones... lolz~ budden..... hmms...

okies... i'm in a dilemna again. =X

and.. sheesh.. i cannot finish my christmas present.... and i realised.. even if i rush through it throughout the night, den the next day dun go out and cheong the present all the way.... i'll still need like... 3 days to complete? geez... ever since i last made that present i have sorta swore that i dun wanna make it again... and now i'm starting to regret not following my promise... hahaz... jokings larz... sighz...

sorry guys.... if ur dun receive ur christmas presents on time... geez~

oh yar... yesterday i juz realised that my blog doesn't have the archives link!!! den tried to add it in lohz... so.. there u go... it's under the tagboard now.. hahaz... cos i dunno how to add it to the links thingy... hehez~

sorry larz.. i swaku larz.. cannot mehz? =P

oh.... and i received my first christmas present from my parents yesterday... went out shopping wif them... den my mum said.. tot u wanted to buy two cds quite badly? so we went cd rama and i finally got SHE's encore cd... plus the cd which i'm listening now... eternity... the one which they advertise on tv... hahaz.. wonders of the media har...

but the cd still sounds nice... hehez... it's a nice therapy for insomnia... very soothing music...

and i've been trying to listen to the SHE's cd the whole day yesterday... trying to fight my brother's playlist which was being played millions of times since dunno when... until i can even sing to the tune le... and i realised that.... i like the lyrics of many songs... though i dun really like the tune as much... hahaz...

so.. shall post some of the lyrics here... hahaz~





我爱你
s.h.e encore 曲 geoman villalon from sweetbox 词 姚若龙

从你眼睛 看着自己 最幸福的倒影
握在手心的默契 是明天的指引
无论是远近 什么世纪
在天堂拥抱 或荒野流离

我爱你 我敢去 未知的 任何命运
我爱你 我愿意 准你来跋扈地决定 世界边境

偶尔我真的不懂你 又有谁真懂自己
往往两个人多亲密 是透过伤害来证明
像焦虑不安 我就任性
怕泄漏你怕 所以你生气

我爱你 让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你 我想亲 你倔强到极限的心

我撑起所有爱围成风雨的禁地
当狂风豪雨 想让你喘口气
被划破的信心 需要时间痊愈
梦想牵着怀疑 未来看不清
就紧紧地拥抱去传递
能量和勇气 我爱你

我爱你 我想去 未知的 任何命运
我爱你 让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你 我想亲 你倔强到极限的心

哪里都一起去 一起仰望星星
一起走出森林 一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌 一起雨过天晴
一起更懂自己 一起找到意义

让我爱你 我不要没有你
我不能没有你 绝不能没有你






对号入座
s.h.e encore

太阳大雨大你就炫烂五彩清清爽爽
月亮太美我就移民阳台星星闪闪
开始你还怀疑过我会不会我抄袭你太多
你脑袋还想的念头我已经就在这么做

水剩半杯你说还有一半乐观开朗
遭遇失败我说都是一样开朗坚强
开始我还怀疑过你是不是偷偷占星算命
我脑袋正在想的旋律你已经放在车上听

你的想法我都ok 还不够等爱陪你去做
我的心思你都ok 不用说甚至对号入座
wu~~~~最完美的互动

我的心思你都ok 不用说最完美的互动

hmms... ohayo~

heyz... junyi... i saw that comment.... who's the chicken who only knows how to eat his 同类 but dunno how to even cook maggie mee ar?

aniwae.. i really managed to bake a cake le... so... hmph... =P

aniwae... *let's pray my sis wun see this entry until 24th... hehez* i've baked an oreo cheesecake for my family for christmas.... phew~ *that's one down, many more to go... =X*

only 2 more days left till 24th... including todae... which have been half spent due to me lying on the bed, unwilling to get down.. talk abt being lazy... long time never spend time wif my bed, pillow(s) and my bloster... hehez... love my bloster... XD

okiesh.. the above para sounded a little... incoherent.. hahaz... maybe cos i din have breakfast yet? =P

and now... my mum is persuading me to join alumni co... -_-''' saying how much i like co... and enjoy talking to pple... go there can keep in touch wif my lao gong... blah blah blah... den i was telling her that i wanna consider more... and she juz kept talking on and on abt how i dun wanna join cos i'm only interested in mixing wif my 猪朋狗友 and dun care abt my sis *who happens to be alumni oso*.... oh well... wad can i say? =X

oh well.. even if i join... i dun think i can go for all the practices aniwae... cos next year i'm going to work already mahz... =X

hahaz... enuff ranting for now... shall start to eat a little biscuits bah... and pray i dun get any fatter.. =X

eating dinner now...
and thinking of u...
hehez... had a... well.. how do u say? fun packed day? hmms.. not exactly... =X

basically... i tot todae i'll be rotting away at home... doing nth... budden... at ard 1110... pansy called me up, and asked me to go down wif her for a job interview.. so... since i'm idle and rotting at home... might as well make full use of my time and go down lohz...

basically... i flopped everything bah... in my hurry to get down to meet pansy in time... den i forgot to bring my ic... =X never bring photo oso... =X den... sighz~ basically... dunno how well my chances are of getting employed... but.. i guess i learned more today... =)

after that... went over to pansy's house in jurong east... omg.. it's darn nice!!! juz like wad she said... it's like a holiday house... *or wadeva u call it.. hehez* aniwae.. had a nice afternoon there... fiddling wif her kitchen... which made me realise how lousy a housewife i am... but.. heyz~ i'm learning hard yar? =)

oh... and guess wad? while attempting to fiddle wif pansy's oven... the whole... circuit.. simply tripped... -_- den we couldn't figure out what exactly went wrong... den called loads of pple to figure out how to put the electricity back... lolz~

aniwae... laters... from pansy's house in jurong east... we shifted base to her auntie's friend's house... at boon lay there... lolz~ muz thank pansy loads... =) plus her auntie and her really really friendly friend... =) thankx for all ur help!!! though i know u guys probably wun see this.. but heyz... arigatou!!! i'll repay u gals somehow... =)

hmms... at least some of my burden i can 放下 le... now... still left wif loads of stuff waiting to be cleared... like... to clean up my room... *again... siandeds* den spend more time wif my loved ones... blah blah blah...

still eating dinner at 12midnight... i really should learn to eat faster... hahaz....
guess i should go back to thinking of u... n...
guess i shall go back to dinner.. and to chatting online.. ha~

weixiang's birthday todae....

and i haven't gotten him a bdae present yet.. =X

sighz...

hey heyz... it's a miracle that i woke up so early todae... =)

cos these few days... i've been sleeping at... like.. 2? and then waking up as late as 11 in the morning... such a pig right? =X

so yesterday, for a change slept slightly earlier... so wake up oso abit earlier... though still sleep the same amt of hours.. budden... makes me feel less guilty... hahahahaz... =P

feeling touched these few days... yesterday read eric's blog... where he thanked me for helping out at the chalet... honestly... i din really help... juz felt that it's something i needed to do... cos i can't stand juz standing ard doing nth when other pple need help mahz... i'm doing it for myself ya? =P i'm not as nice as u guys think... heh heh hehz~

now chatting wif xuanyou... he said that it's difficult for him to stay awake after 11pm nowadays... which i totally understand now... and... i'm starting to get worried for the guys when they go army... though i dun really know the reason y... =X sighz...

christmas is juz *starts counting using fingers* exactly 6 days away.... christmas eve is 5 days away... talk abt being stressed... =X there are so many things i wanna do... budden like cannot finish liddat lehz... =X sighz.... sorry randy... if i cannot come and play RO as often during this week lehz.. =X miss RO budden... some other things have to take priority for now bah... =X

guess wad? my parents are playing wif this... timer in the shape of a carrot... which u can turn, to start the timer... and at the end... when time's up, the carrot will start to ring like a fire alarm... apparently my parents are both very amused by it... lolz~ budden i can't imagine my house sounding as though there's a fire like.. every few minutes... =X or that there's a bomb hidden somewhere in the house... *cos the carrot starts ticking when it's counting down...*

okiesh... the carrot juz rang... -_-'''

hmms... thinking abt stuff again... feeling as though these few days are like a dream... a very very nice dream... =) if all these are a dream... den.... i dun ever wanna wake up.... *quote from manga... hahaz*

realised that... i really dunno how to put my feelings across... or to even communicate properly... =X juz now trying to tell my parents some 欠扁问答题 den dey all like... seh diao... and dun get the answer to the riddle... am i that lousy? lolz~ or maybe it's generation gap... =X

sob sobz....

year end le... so many things waiting to be tied up... so many things waiting to be done... hahaz... originally i wanted to make use of the hols to finish playing ffx and ffx-2.... but guess wad? i guess that wun be possible... *sobz* cos i no ps2 ar... :'( den... gotta work on my new year resolutions.... hahaz... let's hope that this time it's not all talk no action lehz... quite sick of all these le... =)

hmms... so few pple online... maybe everybody's still sleeping... meaning that i wake up super early todae... hehehez~
i miss u...
kkz larz.. shall start doing the stuff i need to do le.. hahahaz~

ever since i had my verbal diarrhoea like...a week ago...

basically.. i'm back to say that...

i'm still alive...

well.. these few days... had been kinda busy... going chalet, going to play badminton and stuff... blah blah blah...

and not forgetting to mention.... to prepare for a certain festive season.... though preparations aren't really going on smoothly since i'm always out most of the time... kinda scared i cannot make it on time lehz.. =X

not many days left... so little time, so many things to be done.. =X

and i have to lvl up on RO!!!

wah... new form of stress after a levels lehz.. lolz~

hmms... tml ar.... think most likely i'll be rotting at home again... lolz~ or maybe go out wif my family to buy groceries... =) *hmms... new change in me lehz... now i'm starting not to hate grocery shopping as much as b4 le... maybe it's cos i can buy more junk food? eeks... fattening wor..*

gosh... i'm starting to talk like eric... *shudders*

supposed to go back chalet todae one... budden can only go in the afternoon... den guess wad? eric n company were at chinatown... doing cip... -_-''' so in the end i went home... and asked eric to pass my sis my orange waterbottle which i left at the chalet... *which was the reason y i wanted to go back to chalet.. sobz~*

okies larz... enuff update for now... shall update again when i have the time.. ha~

tireds.
i know u might never read this... but..
tml going for master class in the morning.. followed by... chalet..
i miss u
all of a sudden.. dun feel like going.. juz wanna sit at home and rot to death.
i miss u
maybe this is wad kelvin said... u're mentally tired... hahaz...
i miss u
maybe i should go get some sleep b4 my eyes pop out.. hahaz..

continual stoning.

did i mention that.. juz now, while i was playing mahjong, my brother went out. and me being the stupid selfish shitty sister *heyz~ nice alliteration* was so engrossed in mahjong online simply saw him go out without asking where he went. thinking that he had already told my mum where he was going to go.

guess wad my mum said yesterday is true.

i deserve ten thousand slaps.

trying to do some household chores to make myself feel more at ease. stupid baka.

the thing is.. my brother din bring handphone.. so now dunno where he is...

dun even know whether i'm worried or anything...

it's such a weird feeling... a few days ago i probably "hated" my brother to the core... den now i'm hating myself for not caring for my brother.

idiot. arrgh.

i'm sorry... but saying sorry now doesn't help things at all.

all i can do is to sit at home and wait for him to come back...

i know i know.. my parents appeared not to be blaming me... but i know that deep down... u guys know that i'm not a good elder sis larz. i know i know... some things no need to say out loud one.

wad's the point of ranting here. it doesn't help things at all.

okies. i shall shaddup.

wad's the point of trying to help other pple with their problems when u can't even solve ur simple pathetic problem.

sumimasen abt this... but i guess i'll be blogging quite a bit these few days...

i'm still thinking abt the anime... sheesh...

trying hard to do as wad kelvin says...别胡思乱想.. and wad zhanxin says... 别想那么多...

sighz.. now contemplating whether to go out or not...

randy's not online... so cannot talk to him abt the anime which left him in a.... wadeva u call it.. emotional stress? hahaz... dunno... but definitely.. shaken... yes.. that's the word..

all of a sudden.. i juz feel like.. sitting on my comp chair.. and to rot away my whole day...

mind being blank... clear like the water...

gosh.. wad am i talking... i sound like i'm suffering from depression or stuff.

reading through pple's blogs... realised that.... many have their own problems which other dun seem to understand... wondering if i've misunderstood or not tried to understand other pple's problems at all now...

somehow... all of a sudden... my mind is brought back to the anime.... "you do and say things to make yourself feel more at ease...." for example... u're tied down to your own problems which seem so huge which u can't manage on your own... so u turn ur focus to other pple's problems and try to help others so that u'll feel more at ease... but in actual fact u're juz running away...

now i'm stuck at timo's blog.. listening to the nice music on his blog... and mind... drifting... drifting.. to a far far away place...

wondering if i'm becoming a pest to pple... hahaz... juz like... how sometimes i feel irritated if someone kept pestering me.. *winkz to weixiang* maybe... it's cos i can't let go... and i've become quite dependent on my friends... especially those whom i consider close... and always confide to them... sorry if i'm becoming too pestering yar?

which brings my mind back to the anime again... something which mitsuki said before she broke off with takayuki... i realised that i've become too dependent on you... and so... now i'm going to break off my dependence on you...

do i have to do the same thing too? before things get... out of hand?

*slaps self* wad am i talking?

when faced with pressure.. wad would u do? start throwing tantrums? let off steam? or juz keep quiet?

none of the three options seem best at times... and out of all these three "shitty" options... whichever u choose.. will still deem u as a "bad" guy... and when nobody seem to understand the situation u're in... u juz... get frustrated...

i wanna become your pillar... but i realised how hard it is... so all i can do is to stand afar... and to observe... to try to understand you... your situations... and to give u smiles when u're down... =) and to say words of encouragement when u need them...

even if i have to be a bad guy to make u smile?

and.. all these... even if i've tried to do these things... is it enough?

*slap slap*... again.. wad am i talking abt?

oh my gosh... i sound rather incoherent... haiz...

enough of random ranting for now... shall try to drown myself in peanuts and mahjong... hahaz... =)

crying my eyes out...

yesterday, i cried my eyes out the entire night.



dun worry.... i'm okiesh..



it's juz that i watched an anime which i think i will need some time to get over...

randy was right... i really need loads of tissues for this anime...

the name of the anime is... kimi ga nozomu eien... english translation... the eternity you wish for...

hmms... let's see... eh... music was not bad... i really like the ending song of the anime episodes... story itself ar... got a bit of ahem ahems... not suitable for kids.. *though i'm still a kid... or.. am i? hahaz~*

story starts off wif... the first episode.. *ha... duhhz~* story starts off with the potagonist... called takayuki, who's a third year high school student... who doesn't really study, but juz slack all day... but he's quite a nice guy... he has two other good friends from his class... shinji (a guy) and mitsuki...a girl who's a good swimmer... but the reason why mitsuki is takayuki's good friend is becoz her best friend, haruka, has a crush on takayuki...

with mitsuki's help... haruka was able to confess to takayuki on a hill, which was takayuki's fav place... haruka was a very nice... shy... and rather innocent girl... and when she confessed... takayuki, being the nice guy he was... couldn't reject her... and so... they started dating... but takayuki dated her halfheartedly... and after a few dates... haruka realised that he din really like her.. and so they broke off...

and it was only when takayuki lost haruka... that he realised that he actually liked her... and so... he went back to the hill where haruka first confessed to him... and found haruka there... and then he confessed to her that he liked her...

tada~ end of episode 1... happy ending... *sniff sniff*

aniwae... will guys only know who they like only when they lost that person they like? tsk tsk... =P

episode 2... haruka and takayuki are a happy and sweet couple... they had many fun moments... but... somehow... there are slight ripples underneath the peaceful surface... there was once... haruka and takayuki had a date to go to a temple festival together... but b4 takayuki could go and meet up wif haruka, mitsuki asked takayuki to listen to her... and takayuki being the nice guy agreed... resulting in takayuki being extremely late and haruka was so worried that she cried... and shinji and haruka finally found mitsuki and takayuki together on the hill... mitsuki apologised for asking takayuki to listen to her woes... but haruka didn't mind.. cos mistuki was her best friend...

on another day... takayuki was also going to meet up haruka for his date again... and he met mitsuki on the streets... mitsuki told takayuki that it was her birthday that day... and takayuki felt oblidged to buy her a bdae present... mitsuki let takayuki to a jewellery stall... where she fancied a ring... and asked takayuki to buy for her... at first takayuki felt slightly uneasy... but.. since it was her birthday... takayuki was nice and bought the ring for her... resulting in... takayuki being once again, late for his date... and... ... ...




haruka meeting with a car accident while waiting for takayuki to appear.




end of episode 2...

episode 3 starts off... 3 years later after the accident... takayuki had dropped school.. and is now working as a waiter in this family restuarant... having fun with the other waitresses there at work... mitsuki has oso given up swimming and is now working at a trading company... takayuki and mitsuki are now together... and apparently the couple have no guilt over wad happened 3 years ago... meanwhile.. shinji is now in university, but still unsuccessful in starting a relationship wif a girl...

one day, while takayuki and mitsuki were walking together.. they met akane, haruka's younger sister... who is in high school now and one of the top swimmers in the swimming club... akane juz came out of the swimming complex, and when akane saw them... she shot them an angry look, and said... visiting hours are almost over... and she walked coolly past the couple... leaving the couple feeling guilty over what they've done... takayuki turned, and saw... the telephone booth... where haruka stood three years ago... before she met with the car accident... ... ...

okiesh... end of episode 3...

shan't say more... or else not fun le... hahaz...

basically... besides the ahem ahems part... i think this is a really... nice and realistic story bah... after watching the whole anime in one day... *heh hehz*... and crying the whole night.... *sniff sniff*... it set me thinking about... how sometimes guys try to be nice to two girls, and end up hurting the two of them at the same time... takayuki could jolly well go up to either mitsuki or hakura and tell them he doesn't like one of them, and solve the problem... but either way... he'll still end up as the "bad guy"...

sighz...

this makes me recall a quote from the anime... "you're so nice... that it's cruel..."

tissues... i need tissues...

okiesh.. anime aside.. yesterday i finished reading da vinci code.. finally... *phew* it's quite an achievement for me since i dun really like reading... hahaz... dotz~ but oh well.. it's a nice book.. =) no wonder it's a best seller.. ha~

and now... i wish that the RO server is back.. so that i can put my mind off those issues raised by the anime... sobz~

should i? should i not?

sometimes i really wonder if the things i do are right... even though i'm clear personally that there are no such things as an absolute right or wrong...

wad if the things u wanna do would end up hurting others? is that action right? or issit wrong?

how i wish that things are more clear cut... sighz~

i'm afraid.... afraid of hurting others... but it seems that... wadeva i do... someone will get hurt in the end... i really wish that the person who's hurt is not u... but i realised... due to my insensitive nature... i always end up hurting others...

if i had been more tolerant... maybe these things wun have happened...




read weijie's card to me when i reached home yesterday... i'm really flattered by wad u say and think of me... but perhaps... u dun see the true ugly side of me... which i realised when i was in sec one and had been trying to change... but i guess... the leopard cannot change it's spots.... juz like how the sotong cannot change the colour of it's black ink...

went out to play mahjong todae... at eric's house... won the least down there since nico came... hahaz.. budden.... it was a good game... i kept pong-ing sai... *west*... and the guys keep saying that i like to eat shit... lolz~

but i guess.... for wadeva happiness u receive... there would be losses... like.. i feel that i'm neglecting my family... these few days my relatives came... i'm always out, never talk to them and stuff... first it was prom... den todae went out to play mahjong whole day... den come back... they're gone... gone back to malaysia le.. all of a sudden felt guilty for not being a good host, a good daughter... blah blah blah... sighz... see? so immatured...

second new year resolution... be more sensible and matured... and be more responsible...

when i came home... i asked my mum... where's my brother... and she replied... 你几时关心过你弟弟？initially i juz din think too much abt that comment.. budden my father shot in... 她会这样问就是在关心了吗... i'm grateful to my dad for speaking up for me here... budden... now that he said this... it reminded me of... the things which happened at a levels which i shan't elaborate anymore..

i miss those days when i'm juz living in an ideal world... where all gases behave according to the ideal gas equation... hahaz.. dotz...

或许，有些东西，不论你想怎么隐藏都隐藏不了。

sighz... super siandeds... loads of things to say budden... can't go online now cos my cousin's using the other comp solely to go online to play warcraft. warcraft again. -_-''' maybe someday i should be a evil person and go delete my brother's warcraft game on the other comp.. muahahahaz~ *dotz*

hope that this entry can make it online asap... sighz..

firstly... yesterday was prom.... went out early in the morning to watch nac... watched woonkeat perform... den next up went to haru to style hair!!! *sobz.. my own money... all gone...* it looked quite... exaggerated initially... budden laters my hair fell back slightly to place... so.... yupz... it looked okiesh in the end... *and there goes my 24 bucks...*

and then zhanxin still din have his shirt... hahaz... den last minute shopping always is not a good thing, as i realised last week when i searched on the streets of orchard for 4 long wrecking days to find my dress which later kelvin commented doesn't look nice on me... sobz~ hahaz... and this makes shopping for his shirt as difficult.... since he only has like.. 4 hours left to prom... neway... shopped wif him and fiona for a while... and den later joined by pansy, shopped a little bit more, den me and pansy went off to eat lunch... *cos starting to have gastric... muahahaz...*

after that, met kelvin and junyi at long john silvers... me n pansy ate there, then the four of us good frienz went round looking for yangke's present... cos she was going off todae morning at 10... in the end, we din buy anything for her. -_-'''

after that, the four of us went to the bus stop to take bus to the hotel le... *imagine three pple wif weird hairdos... or actually... only one gal wif weird hairdo.* standing at the bus stop... den me and pansy started looking at pple's hair.. cos pansy wanna dye her hair red... so we started looking at the different shades of red she could consider dying her hair... and kelvin was there commenting... “女人啊，女人啊..." *shakes head*

next up... bus came... went all the way down to the hotel... only to be greeted by weixiang who was apparently alone in the hotel room, happily enjoying himself in bubble bath, which the bathtub was situated wif a really nice view of the nicole highway... *not nico highway* and he was like scolding us off for disturbing his nice bath... muahahaz...

aniwae... amazed at how the room looked like... it has great view... and the bathtub is... simply spacious... wif a pillow on the bathtub itself... to let the person sitting inside lie comfortably inside... *sighz~ how i wish i bought things for me to go enjoy the nice bathtub.. hahaz~*
after that, me and pansy started to take all sorts of pics of each other... she tried on my prom dress, took pic... den took my handbag and tried to pose as a model... all the pics taken down... courtesy of my sis' nice digicam... hahaz... *which unfortunately ate up loads of battery life... =P*

after which... everybody started streaming into the hotel room... and we started commenting on how nice the hotel shoes are... *made of cotton and stuff? very very comfortable...* pple take pic here and there... den i went to change... take somemore pics... den finally went down for prom le...

prom itself... took more pics... ate like a pig... den selection for prom king and queen... blah blah blah... all these which i took no notice of.. except for the countless photo taking sessions.... wah... it was only then i finally realised the pain of movie stars who have to turn up for regular press release... the cam flash is really blinding... -_-'''

after that... very tireds le... went up to hotel room... den called up yangke so that junyi and kelvin can pass her the cards they wrote for her... in the end the few of us plus wendy yunghei and zhanxin walked ard esplanade there... halfway we were met up wif weijie who came out to buy alcoholic drinks for the girls... -_-''' and somehow.... we got separated... cos yangke's high heels is making her feet hurt... den kelvin and junyi took turns to change shoes wif yangke while they themselves walked barefooted... *hahaz... junyi and kelvin are such gentlemen... =P*

got split up... den we ended up walking near citylink... *cos a blur sotong tot the rest of the pple went to the 7-11 at citylink when citylink was closed at 12midnight or something liddat?* and den we saw these rather eerie escalators which moves by themselves.... which is quite scary cos they move slowly... as though... well... eh... i dun wanna elaborate... *try to imagine urself walking at that area alone with the escalator moving by itself... quite... eh... -_-'''*

in the end... yunghei came to "save" us.. hahaz... furnies siaz... b4 yunghei came.. i tot he was in citylink while i was at the exit.. den i shouted hello loudly into citylink.. din know that there were pple sleeping in there... it was only when yunghei came and brought us past citylink underground... den i realised there were pple sleeping there.. and felt totally bad for disturbing those pple's sleep.. sighz...

went back to hotel room... more asshole daidee... *furnie thing... most likely last time seeing each other, playing daidee in the end.. hahaz~* den at 4+ finally cannot tahan, slept a while... den woke up saw junyi zhanxin wendy and zhidong playing a "slapping game" which essentially is a 猜拳游戏 except the winner gets to slap everybody else... and so all four of us besides zhanxin ganged up to bully zhanxin... lolz~ and wendy slaps zhanxin so hard his face turned red...

finally everybody cannot take it le... slept lohz... slept again... until 840... den like no sleep liddat... woke up still feel like sleeping... siandeds... felt like such a pig.. hahaz..

wad de... now that i finally managed to try to reconnect my comp again. i can't connect my comp online. ~!@#^#@ this totally sux. :'( cos not being connected online makes me feel i'm trapped inside my cave... sobz~

sighz...

next up... morning... woke up. felt like going back to sleep. felt like eating cos hungry until almost got gastric... in the end cleared up everything... den went home wif junyi and yin yin on cab home.. while the others went lan-ing... den i went home.. realised that my relatives are staying at our house here... siandeds a little.. den showed them my prom photos.. and they started making rather... mean comments abt my friends... like... aiyoh. y they so fat... and stuff liddat which made me a little pissed... hahahaz...

in the end... chatted to them for abt 1 hour... den wanted to go bathe... den too tired.. fell asleep on my bed for another hour before realising that i was going to be late to support zhixuan when i woke up... junyi even more jialats... said wanted to go support zhixuan in the end he slept like a pig until 5+ when the whole competition for zhixuan's category was long over... -_-'''

aniwae... i turned up late... din get to hear zhixuan perform.. sobz~ budden in the end he still got into finals and all of us who went down to support him got a treat each... muahahaz...

and guess wad? my sis' ensemble got into finals as well... hahaz... budden hc alumni din look very happy... cos they haven't practised their final piece at all... -_-''' den eugene lim was there saying... other groups hear their name announced for finals all clap loudly... for ours we hear pple cursing... "shit shit shit"... and woonkeat was there complaining... aiyah.. cannot do integration tutorial... lolz~

went for treat after that.. and then went home... hahaz~

tml going eric's house to play mahjong..

all of a sudden.. at a loss of words for wadeva i'm feeling now... the feelings are so mixed and complex that... i feel sorta confused... hahaz... maybe when i'm ready i can type it down here.. haha...

all of a sudden... i feel like owning S.H.E.'s new cd... encore.. hahaz...
够了。
been walking for another day... trying to find my sis' bdae present... feeling kinda bad cos tml i'm out the whole day when it's her bdae... =X
我受够了。
but then again... tml's prom... sighz.. all of a sudden... i juz dun feel like going... hahaz... no prizes for guess y, i guess... hahaz...
你们都走开吧，让我一个人回到自私自利的我。
stoning again... maybe this is the pre-prom syndrome? wad crap... hahaz...
要是没有你那该多好。
oh.. i know y le... RO server is down... muahahaz... :P
虽然我非常清楚这是自私的想法，但我真的受够了。
aniwae.... tml is going to be a busy dae... first up gotta go watch woonkeat... for his performance... next up.. go do hair.. den go to hotel to start dolling myself up. =X i can't believe i'm doing such frivolous stuff. =X
不想再装伟大了。
but then again... since the time i handed the paycheck for the prom.. i guess i've been doing such frivolous stuff le. =X
就像你说的，我的一切都只是在装伟大。
arrgh. who ask me to be persuaded to go in the first place. =X
或许，我已经痛到麻痹了。
den.. it'll be prom... hope it'll be fun... sighz...
这样也好。
guess wad? juz now my brother bought two loaves of chocolate bread at one go... wonder how he's going to finish everything... -_-'''
就让我痛快去爱，痛快去痛； 痛快去悲伤，痛快去感动。
maybe i can help out now... :P

and for now... juz lemme drown in the first two tracks of SHE song.. hahaz...

候鸟 - S.H.E. - encore
词 方文山 曲 周杰伦

出海口已经不远我丢着空瓶许愿
海与天连成一线在沙洲对你埋怨

芦苇花白茫一片爱过你短暂停留的容颜
南方的冬天

我的心却无法事过境迁
你觅食爱情的那一张脸
过境说的永远随着涨潮不见
变成我记忆里的明信片

你的爱飞很远像候鸟看不见
在湿地的水面那伤心乱成一片
你的爱飞很远像候鸟季节变迁
我含泪面向着北边

你的爱飞很远像候鸟看不见
我站在河岸边被树丛隔离想念
你的爱飞很远像候鸟季节变迁
你往北向南说再见







痛快 - S.H.E. - encore

痛快去爱痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤痛快去感动
生命给了什么我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火全都不要错过

每一天都是一个节庆
每件事都发生来丰富我的记忆
很好奇还有谁等着闯进我日记
欢迎光临亲爱的请享用我的感情

痛快去爱痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤痛快去感动
生命给了什么我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火全都不要错过
痛快去感受

笑与哭都值得用力气
吻和泪都是该裱框纪念的痕迹
很乐意每段路都有陌生人同行
爱或伤害都欢呼都是活过的证据

艳阳暴雨不要客气请
一直澎湃我热切的血液
我活着的目的就是活得鲜明

痛快迎接痛快等候
痛快去试探痛快去触碰
生命安排什么我就感谢什么
每颗人间烟火全都美丽了我

went for co outing todae!!! lolz~ *dunno y so excited all of a sudden...*

me junyi zhanxin nico weixiang jas zhixuan yangke sir seng yiwang andrew yileng hansheng went to the rice table at international building for lunch... *someone asked y the building is called international building... shrugs... no idea* it was quite nice.... long time never eat indonesian dishes... ha~ dotz... but it was hot... and i can't take spicy food... but it's nice nevertherless... hahaz...

den... jiahong joined us... while weixiang went off to meet his friend... nico went to meet sc they all... and yangke and yileng went home... then we went shopping a while.... me and jas went to far east to look for nail polish, and jas went to look for her chopstick for her hair... hahaz... the guys went to settle their contacts... junyi and zhixuan asked ard for the price of disposable contacts... and i din manage to buy the nail polish at far east... later went lucky plaza... *wad a weird place... hahaz~* den the guys were busy walking off to settle their contacts, and they forgot abt me and jas, who were happily looking at the nail polish in this shop which is sold at only 1.50!!! lolz~ finally got my first nail polish... actually i din really believe that i'll own a bottle of nail polish in the first place... hahaz..

shall start to apply the nail polish soon... ha~

zhixuan and junyi finally got their contacts... and we cheong to the next stop... zhixuan's house... zhanxin and jiahong stayed at lucky plaza to try to find zhanxin's suit... went to zhixuan's house and started playing mahjong... and we finally succeed in teaching junyi how to play mahjong!!! which was like... a mission impossible... *applause*

played half a round of mahjong... den zhanxin nico jiahong n weixiang came back... jiahong went to teach zhixuan n junyi how to put on contacts... den after some time, zhanxin went to dye his hair... after his third attempt to DIY dye his hair... *or rather to bleach his hair this time* he finally succeeded wif the help of jiahong... at the expense of stinking zhixuan's room up... hahaz...

after that... jiahong oso wanted to try bleaching his hair as well... budden he's not supposed to dye his hair... den we realised that zx's hair looked really brown... den the two guys rushed to the toilet to wash their hair... -_-'''

it was fun watching those guys panic... lolz~ and how weixiang kept complaining that the whole room stinks of ammonia.. *cos it came from the bleaching agent..*

aniwae... after all that hair dye-ing / bleaching / screaming /wadeva session... we had pizza... hehez~

and now i'm sitting at home, painting my nails.. stoning... and going to start RO soon...

wad a slack day~ lalalaz~
能够看到你一整天，也是幸福的一种吧。

shop until u drop!

hahaz... todae... i literally shopped until i drop... started walking along orchard road since 12noon... all the way till 7pm without stopping for lunch/rest...

went to all sorts of places... went to og... *omg. i can't believe i went in there to look for clothes... -_-'''* den to metro... *omg. i can't believe i went in there either* and then i dragged my mum to far east... hahahaz... and that's where i finally found my dress...

after 4 days of shopping along orchard road...
-_-'''

okiesh... enuff grumbling abt the dress.... after buying the dress, went on to look for shoes and accessories.... this brought us back to metro... and then after that i dragged my mum to hereens... lolz~ dotz dotz... bought wadeva we wanted in the end.. yay! and everything sum up to about 130.... excluding shoes.. cos i'm wearing my sis' shoes... :P

hahaz... that's wad i call... a good bargain... =)

okies... after talking so much abt such frivolous stuff... *may i add? i totally detest shopping.* let's go on to touch abt a more solemn topic...
要是你根本就不存在，或许我的日子会过得比较好。
someone asked me a few days ago... y issit that women get jealous easily? to that qn, at that point in time, i replied... 吃醋是女人的专利... up till now i still believe in that...
我知道我不应该这么想，不过，既然我都没来烦你...
but now.. i would love to add... actually... guys do get jealous at times too... hehez~
就请你别再来找我了。
afterall, jealousy is part of human nature...
我累了，我也受够了。
oh yar... juz to add in... todae while walking along orchard... i saw this couple kissing while they were crossing the road... talk abt pda-ing... and not being concerned abt their safety at all...
如果可以的话，我真的希望我下半辈子再也不会再遇到你。
heyz... i'm not jealous or anything hor. -_-'''

and for now... hehez... back to da vinci code... or RO... muahahaz... =P

guess wad? in the end, i din go and see my back yesterday...

so.... it's down to... todae....

sobz...

juz read a rather interesting blog entry from glady's blog.... had a great time laffing.... that i almost ended up rolling on the floor...

okies... at least the start of my day wasn't that bad... =X

somehow... i'm starting to envy those who get to go overseas... weixiang and jon's back from shanghai... randy's enjoying himself at genting... blah blah blah... no need to go into details...

how i wish i can go... maybe... australia? hahaz.. and go there see kangeroos... -_-'''

okies larz... by now obviously u can tell i haven't got much to say abt todae... maybe cos i'm still feeling a little sleepy yar? lolz~ waiting for my naruto dl to complete... den in the meantime stoning here... zZz...

laters... going wx's house to watch movies... lolz~ another great slacking day~ lalalalalaz~

overheard an interesting conversation the moment i woke up...



A: 你整天跟他在一起... 不怕他把你当女朋友吗？
B: 哎呀，不会啦... 我们只是好朋友罢了... 而且，他都已经有女朋友了...
A: 那你不怕他的女朋友会吃醋吗？
B: .............



there i was... lying lazily on my bed.. no need to strain my ears to listen cos the two of them were talking so loudly... *as usual.. ha~* den B suddenly said this.... 难道我们作好朋友都不行吗？for a while i stood there thinking...

hahaz... who ask A to be such a conservative.... eh... person? lolz~

i can totally understand B's point of view.. ha~ to a certain extent... maybe the two of us are really alike... =X

maybe it runs in the family... ha~



later going orchard to shop for prom stuff again... been there for like... 3 consecutive days le... *oh mine.. i sound like shopping is my fav past time liddat... it's not hor... in fact i dislike shopping hor...*

going to check back too.. but dunno when that will be... still stuck at home cos nobody wanna move... mum's sitting in front of tv... sis dunnow disappear to her room to do wad... me still here.. haiz.. =X

hope i can settle most stuff todae... =)

曾天真地认为... 我可以回到从前单纯的我...

但是，在这么多事情发生后... 我发现... 这是不可能的...



单纯又是什么的东西呢？是什么都不知道吗？

那叫做无知，不是单纯...



单纯是不是人家说的话都相信？不相信人邪恶的一面？

那叫做天真...



而坚持又是什么... 是一个人的自私？一个人的任性？还是那个人的野心？



明明做好了决定... 为什么还是无法忘却那些事情... 一直有颗不想放弃以前的事物的心？



因为知道了太多... 所以我已经无法再忍受了... 再也无法像以前一样的装大好人似的对待你...



或许... 我因该会到的，不是以前单纯的自己，而是回到一点感觉都没有的木头人。

finally.. blogger's back in service...

juz wanna first... say... sorry to my kor... cos i think i'm starting to take him for granted... sighz...

been thinking quite a bit on my bus journeys... frankly speaking... i feel maybe i might be feeling better off if i weren't thinking on the bus... and if i decide to cut myself from all those stuff which would make me fall back into where i was quite some time ago.
既然我说过你要坚强点，我自己也要加油...
juz felt that... i really need to do something abt my latecoming... i realised that when i go out... 99% of the time i'm late... -_-''' quite a high percentage somemore... feel that i should start reducing this horrendous percentage... felt that i'm always late cos i always do things last minute... so maybe i should start doing something abt this... like... start preparing myself 1.5 hours b4 i go out of the house or something...

besides that... i keep telling myself that... i have to be strong so that i can be other's pillar of strength when they need me... be it for them or for myself...

though it's extremely hard to be standing on ur own two feet...



my back's aching like siao again... pasted two salonpas plasters back again... arr~ it hurts more now but it feels more shuang this way than without them... *think i sound sadistic...* oh well... tml i guess i have no choice but to go back to the sinseh again. siandeds...

reformatted comp last night... and after reformatting.. i can't get my RO to work... totally siandeds.. sobz~ now trying all sorts of way to get back my game.... :'(

for now, i juz hope that tml will be a better day...

i've got a confession to make.



after bathing twice in a row, i still smell like a barbequed sotong.



arrgh... if i could, i'll continue washing till i get rid of that bbq chicken wing smell... but since, if i bath too many times, my skin will wrinkle up until i look like a 90 year old hag... i guess i better stop b4 i become a dried bbq sotong.



events of todae.... first went out shopping for he fang's present in the early afternoon... finally bought a jewellery box for her... den pangseh my kor halfway to go class chalet... *which i pon yesterday... =X*



supposed to meet yuchun at 3.30.... den i ended up being 20 mins late...

and the free shuttlebus left at ard 3.30.... -_-''' and the next was at 5...

so in the end, we took a cab down... hahaz...

and finally... i got to meet the rest of 4/11 after... one year... =)

actually there was only kiki, yihui, adderz, n qiuyun there... *juz nice, 4 pple for mahjong... hehex...* who all look extremely tired, probably cos they played tong xiao mahjong last night... :P there was lily (kiki's younger sis) wif her friends at the chalet too... and when i reach there, they wanted to play mahjong... so all of us siam to let them play, den we went to play pool... =) but all of us darn lousy... except yuchun and qiuyun who were slightly better than us.. lolz~ and we all keep getting the white ball in.... -_-''' halfway adderz and yihui gave up and played archade... and after that, kiki and qiuyun oso bu gan shi ruo... went to play oso....

den... it's bbq time! =) kiki and qy (my conjugate) started the fire while the rest of us went to da pao some rice and noodles cos we scared not enuff food from bbq...

we were darn successful at starting the fire... i bet the guys can't even beat us gals.... all gals somemore lehz... (though we enlisted the help of the fan.. hahaz~) and.... we're so successful that halfway while we were bbq-ing... i mean... bbq-ing the chicken wings... the whole wire gauze juz caught fire.... big fire somemore... we tried to put out the fire and save our food... budden two of our chicken wings we couldn't save juz... got engulfed in the huge flames...

the chicken wings taste nice!!! (not the two chao dao ones...) and so are the satay.... :D

after that, jiayuan, miao juan judy and hooi ching dropped by.... played one round of mahjong wif them... den yihui zao... and all of them zao together... when they only came for abt 30 mins.. -_-'''

but b4 they left, we took loads of funky photos... hehez... heyz! ur better send to me hor! :P

n how can i forget? jia yuan got a new phone, and she tried to take a photo of me pigging out the chicken wings so that next time i call her... she'll see this pig eating chicken wings... -_-'''

and she took a video of me yuchun and miaojuan gambling on mahjong... -_-'''

(and she convieniently forgot to shoot herself in that video...)

after the huge noisy gang left... left me kiki yuchun (wearing this shirt wif the word yichun, which pple mistook as her name or yishun...) and my conjugate... we took over the mahjong table... heh heh hehz~ *evil grinz* luck not bad larz.. won 2 sets... =) wif loads of tai lehz... so if they playing $$ i'll earn loads n they lose big big... heh hehz~

den kiki's mum returned from dinner, and wanted to go off cos she sending lily's friends home.. *she was darn surprised that jia yuan and gang went off so quickly... and that the chalet was so quiet all of a sudden...* so left me qy and yuchun... we kept teasing qiu yun abt seequeue... cos her inbox is full of his messages.... and she was caught hiding alone in the room upstairs while everybody was downstairs... heh hehz~ started teasing her like siao... (but she kept saying it's her dad, which we obviously dun believe... :P)

den, we played cards... trying to predict our love life and stuff... lolz~ den from the cards, we realised that qy doesn't like a guy at all.. :'(

i miss the great times spent wif 4/11.... sighz...

den after all those crazy stuff we did... finally... home sweet home... now eating pringles and typing blog...

and tml there's going to be another mahjong session!!! hehez~ i juz can't wait... =P

12:33 am... i wonder y i'm still rotting online...
looking at ur nick reminds me of loads of things i really dun want to remember...
very tireds.. back aching like siao...
我希望你没崩溃...
oh yar... tml.... going chalet... yay~ *and finally... ha~* skipped bbq todae.. wondering if there's bbq tml... *grinz* <-- 贪吃鬼
更希望你能勇敢地站起来...
i wonder if tml will be a beautiful day...
你不必感到内疚...
life is beautiful... only when u believe in it...
因为真正关心你的人是不希望...
that was wad i said when i was in sec 1 & 2, trying to motivate myself to overcome a rather... unpleasant period of time in my life...
自己成为你的困扰...
i wonder if it holds true up till now...
所以... 我只能在这里对你说声...
i hope it holds true... =)
加油... 还有... 你一定做得到的...
and so... pls let me continue believing in this...

wonderful experience wif the sinseh.

i hate myself...

originally wanted to go and see the doctor abt my back yesterday... in the end, cos it din hurt in the morning, so i tot, maybe it became better, and juz... continued rotting at home.... budden, later in the day, cos my family was organising my house... got all sorts of books getting thrown away, and i helped to throw some of the books away, had to bring those books from my house to the void deck... only such a simple thing, den my back started hurting again... den bo bian have to see doc mahz... since it's that serious...

so this morning... went to see doc... step out of the house.. starting biting my lips like siao... cos... knew it's going to be darn painful... but oso cannot chicken out last minute.. cos i'm the one bugging my mum to bring me to see doc...

so walk walk walk... until sinseh there... den... very very nervous....

and the whole treatment was... darn painful...

b4 i went in, was wondering if i made the right choice of going...

now.. it hurts like siao.. i can't believe wad would happen after i go back for treatment again..
-_-'''

救命啊！！！





on the other hand... somehow i managed to persuade my mum to make a pair of contacts for me.. wahahahaz... maybe this is the good thing that happened out of so many... jialats stuff which happened... sobz~

now my whole body is aching like siao...

and i'm still playing RO... :D

RO rawks big time... one day into the game and i'm an acolyte 39/28... can cry already... though the server has 3X experience... sobz... can die le.. =X

aniwae... supposed to be at chalet todae... but owning to the terrifying experience and the present situation i have... i decided that it's probably better to stay at home and rot... :P

sighz.. hope it wun hurt that much tml... sobz...

ha~ changed my blog layout again... =)

do gimme comments on this new layout again yar? *though this time i lazy never go do my own. hahaz~*

and.. once again... pls change ur encoding to unicode should u see some weird weird characters.. hahaz~

好朋友的定义

wad does it mean by... "good friends"?
wad did u mean by "good friends"?
does it mean that.... u chat wif that person everyday... about all your problems and stuff... gossip abt things happening... and go out on a regular basis?

or issit... the two of ur dun seem to chat a lot, and neither do ur go out a lot... but somehow, when the other is in trouble, one would go all out to help that person?

yesterday before weixiang left... he actually messaged me... hahaz... dunno y... i felt 感动...

maybe it felt good to be remembered by your friends... =)

hehez... xiangz kor... enjoy ur trip! :P



hmms... tml got ny class chalet... all of a sudden... i dun feel like going... maybe it's cos... of how the whole event appeared to have a lack of planning... cos the chalet is tml, and i still dunno when and where to meet yet... -_-''' and besides... my good friend is only going on tuesday... so now i feel like slacking a little.... :P though my hands are itching for mahjong.. *ha~* and that adderz is oso going... hmms.... but still... feel a little weird siaz...

shall see how... =X

and.. i still haven't bought my prom dress yet... arrgh~ *omg. i sound quite.. bitchy... -_-'''*

sighz... so much time it seems... but so many things to do.... i wanna learn jap, go finish reading prince of tennis.. XD and maybe somehow go try RO.... and finish watching kimi ga nozumu eien... *forgot how to spell the whole thing* and go brush up on my culinary skills.. ha~ *up till now still dunno how to crack the egg by hitting the side of the pot... ha~* and maybe... go wrap all my comics.. hahaz~ and how can i forget... to get myself employed...

zhixuan was saying yesterday that... all of us are officially unemployed... we ought to feel ashamed that we're the ones contributing to that 3.4% unemployment rate... -_-''' but.. hahaz~ it's time to start cracking.. i suppose... but that's probably in the middle of the dec or at the start of the jan holidays... hahaz~

sighz.. so much time... and it seems as though there's loads of things to do.. but... somehow... it still feels... as though... there's nothing much to do... except to sit and rot... *that's wad i'm doing now. =P*

maybe rotting isn't such a bad thing afterall... *winkz*

hehez... now i'm back to reading prince of tennis... :D the prince is so so so so so shuai!!! muahahahaz...

hmms.. how i wish i'm so darn rich, so that i can own practically most comics in the whole wide world.. =X

dling naruto 110-111 now... feeling super 幸福 cos got so many comics and anime waiting for me to conquer... lolz~

went to school todae to visit juniors at the interaction concert thingy.... wif nico, sir seng, jiahong, zhixuan, liangsheng blah blah blah... went at abt 1+, den found out the concert was in the morning.. and junkai solo-ed 葡萄熟了 at his usual insane speed... and he played encore at the special request of the audience... oh mine... lolz~ but heard that the rest of the items weren't that good...

den games were the same old... got loads of water... except that i feel this year... the commitee is quite creative... they came up wif their own... sadistic.. ways of playing games.... the game station i was stuck observing for a long long time was... the station my sis, eugene ger and gang were at... basically, the groups have to first somehow balance a can of half filled water in a rather weird position... den, the whole group crawl through this little maze set up by tables and.. rubbish bags.. lolz~ and at the end of the maze when everybody crawled out, they're greeted wif 难忘的泼水节.... everybody was bound to get wet... next up, the whole group muz run and try to get a bite of this small apple floating in a pail of water, and after that, one group member would try to pour this pail of water into another pail held by his other group member abt half a meter away.... and the groups have to finish all these within 150 seconds... sadistic siaz....

and of course... we were not... totally safe.. hahaz...

there were several attempts made to try and sneak attack on us...but.. hey heyz... i managed to get past it... *grinz* but other pple like.. eh.. sir seng... and liang sheng.. they weren't so lucky.. hehez~ then there was zhiyong and timo who were trying to sneak up on us, pretending that they were up to no good, when dey dun have water wif them at all... lolz~

and.... when we got bored, we went to the other station... where most pple there were sorta slacking... den met jiahong there.. and he took out his theory papers to start mugging... *cos his exam is on the coming monday...* den all of us crowded round him to discuss music theory... and... we were constantly pestered by the groups playing the scavenger hunt... for atm cards, black shoe laces, pilot g1 pens... bus tickets.... blah blah blah... and sony erisson phones... so in the end, whenever any "suspicious" characters tried to come close to our bench, jiahong would automatically say.. we dun have this this this that that... -_-'''

after that, waited for my sis to go west mall together... supposed to meet up wif my mum and dad at west mall there, but had a bad headache since i arrived in school... so ended up going home and not shopping wif my mum at west mall... but b4 i left... shopped a little wif my sis... saw this nice cross stitch which i was tempted a little to start cross stitching again *nononononno~* and my sis went to try out this blue shirt... and we looked at necklaces a little... hahaz.. wish that we could do this more often... =)

back home, slept from 7 till 8.30++... headache wasn't gone still... siandeds... den no choice bo bian went to eat panadol... den finally better le... :P that's y i'm up here typing blog. muahahahahaz...

sighz... wonder wad would happen tomoloz... going to see sinseh tml.... a bit scared cos first time.. and heard it's going to be painful... *sobz* but oh well, it's better than having an aching back everyday... and end up having no 精神 the whole day... sighz...

but for now... back to prince of tennis... =) *droolz at the nice moves the prince has... =P*

对不起... 我无法成为一个温柔又体贴的人...
所以... 再见...

明明是你教我们做人要自私... 可是为什么现在你又说自私是不对的？

woke up early this morning... again...

woke up from the pain in the back. -_-''' and from a dream which i can't classify whether it's a nightmare or a nice dream.... it's neither...

but when i woke up, my mood is like the weather out there....

*stormy clouds.... wif a slight cold breeze*

weijie once said that... your body gives u signals of your actions.... like... if u hurt ur ankle.... u're running away from your problems... so... wad abt your back? hahaz... cos... my back is causing my ankle to hurt already...

now even salonpas wun save me... :'(

now that the a levels are here... somehow... i feel... lost and blank... not that i miss a levels... i hate them totally.... it's juz.... the things that come after As.... makes me feel totally siandeds...

so many things pending to be solved... and for things to come to an end...

i'm... afraid...

hahaz... baka... -_-'''

chatted a bit wif pansy yesterday.... came to the conclusion that i ought to spend more time wif my family... i dunno y... when i described my problems to her... they sound so.... 不起眼... maybe it's only me bah... maybe it's cos it's something which happened quite some time ago le.. but to me... it still hurt loads... n... the two of us both agreed it's not something which can be solved juz liddat... it takes time...

how much time would it take?

hahaz.. y am i so impatient? dotz~

besides that... i can sense that... loads of pple are going to suffer from the post-a levels syndrome... n somehow... i hope i can be there for them...

dotz... it sounded furnies... -_-'''

i realised that.. i really dunno how to communicate... at the end of 14 years of education....

sad case siaz...

at the end of my two years in hc... i realised that... i've never adapted to life in hc... wad do we get after working so hard on books for 14 years? juz a few pieces of paper and an empty soul...

then wad's the point of being educated... -_-'''

opps.. getting a bit incoherent le... muz be the post exams syndrome... hahahaz...

all of a sudden... i wanna prove to u and the world that... it's possible to have friendships that last foreva...

reflections after applying salonpas gel...

我的妈呀... 痛死我了...

想了整整一晚... 今天本来可以迟起, 但是在床上不停的思索, 发现无法回到梦乡...

还是算了, 起床读书咯...

回头看了看昨晚写的那篇entry... 觉得自己真的是太自我了... "during this a levels period.. my sine curve approached 3pi/2..." 现在回想起来, 不只是我在这段期间进入了我的低潮, 别人也是啊...

或许, 就像你说的, 我就是那么的insensitive...

哈哈... 我跑去找了一本字典, 查寻insensitive的定义.... insensitive 指的是感情迟钝的，无感觉的，无感受性的...

哈哈... 这的确是我...

忽然间, 我明白为什么问你我那里感情迟钝, 你并没说出我迟顿的地方...















可是... 你自己还不是一样的吗?

我完全不明白自己, 为什么我会那么执著... 一直想用言语来唤醒你... 结果一点用都没有...

不论我怎么说, 你也还是在自己的世界里打转...

你一直在逃避.... 难道不会累吗?

当面对问题时, 一直对自己说, 根本没问题.... 这样问题会就这样的消失吗?

你这样做, 对得起那些关心你的人吗? 周围有很多想关心你的人啊... 可是你听不到, 看不到, 以为可以靠自己的力量解决一切... 但是你一直在逃避... 人家想帮你出面解决问题, 一方面你一言不发, 什么问题都不跟人说, 人家怎么帮你? 其次, 如果人家真的出面帮你, 你又会不爽... 那你就得靠自己解决问题, 而不是就坐在那里, 等问题自己解决, 还让关心你的人担心...

不是人家不想关心你... 是你自己将自己隔绝, 不愿让任何人靠近...

你知道吗? 世上不只是由你一个人罢了... 每个人都有他们自己的问题啊... 可是, 不是每个人都会选择逃避... 也不是每个人在面对问题时将自己隔绝... 因为他们明白, 这样做, 对很多人不公平... 尤其是那些关心他们的人... 相反的, 他们还会自动自发地跑去关心别人, 就算自己的问题以够逼昏他们的头...

你有可能说... 这些人只是在利用别人的问题来让自己暂时忘了自己的问题... 但你又是否曾经将自己换成他们... 想想他们的苦衷呢? 或是试着去了解别人的痛呢?

说了这么多, 想必你也只是觉得我唠叨啰嗦罢了...

这样子直截地把我的感性都说了出来, 我觉得对你的伤害很大...

其实我自己也不好受... 不过我是真心的希望你能醒醒... 不要在欺骗自己了...

你认为你这两年里快乐吗? 有真正的快乐过吗? 我知道这个问题很残忍... 不过, 如果你没有... 你也应该让过去成为过去, 试着去寻找自己的幸福了... 这并不容易, 不过只要你有意念, 相信这并不是做不到的...

嗨~ 反正在这里说了这么多, 你也不知道我在这里说你.... 哈哈...

就当作我一直在烦你吧... 就把我当坏人吧...

可是, 这次的坏人, 我想我是做定了... 要打要骂尽管来吧...

醒醒吧...

juz within half a minute, i realised how much i missed my lao gong...

and i started practising wif my sis again...

it feels totally great.. =)

not taking the backpain into consideration of course...

finally... i survived the ordeal... of physics 3 and fmaths paper 2... wif that back pain... and that somehow i managed to do the two papers in a somewhat alert mode... in which straight after the papers, i zoned out immediately.

though the end of a levels is one day away *only... yay!*.... somehow i'm already starting to feel aimless...

juz like wad jiahong said... "haha.. soon you'll be bored to tears having nothing to do bah.. ha~"

is this wad they call... the post exams syndrome? lolz~

during this a levels period.. my sine curve approached 3pi/2... somehow, i hope after all this... it can start approaching 2pi...

tireds.. very very tireds.

and afraid... of the things coming ahead...

it's something which i can't really explain now... maybe i'll realise y i feel this way when that something happens...

somehow... both the physical and mental agony starts coming back once the exam is over where i have to force myself to let go of all these...

but now that everything's going to be over, it's all coming back.

i dun understand... it's already over, but y issit that when i look back, i still feel... the pain?

i guess those wounds are still fresh...

and... thinking of all those promises i have made, and all the stuff i have to do after exams... juz makes me feel a different type of.. stress? lolz~

arrgh. i wana read prince of tennis... lolz~ but this comp is darn laggy, and juz like wad my sis complained... a particular individual hogs the other comp the whole day, which is faster and better... so... story at the end of the day, i can't read prince of tennis... sobz~

speak of being aimless. hahaz~

for once, i thought i've found my goal... now it's back to drifting again.. until someone picks me up again and exerts a force on me to change my state of motion/rest...

or maybe that person could set up a periodic driving force, and me, as the oscillating system, can respond wif maximum amplitude to this driving force.

hahaz. i think i've gone mad...

ps. i juz knocked my knee... ouch. :'(

oh sheesh.... i juz wasted my whole morning away watching naruto and reading prince of tennis...

will someone stop me from reading prince of tennis??? lolz~

arr~

for once... i actually felt refreshed after a night's sleep...

with two plasters stuck to my back...

hahaz.. i LOVE salonpas... :D

even had a dream last nite... somehow i dreamt i was wif my sis at breadtalk trying to figure out wad bread to buy home... muahahahaz.. -_-''' let's hope something liddat can happen in reality soon... =)

but upon waking up to reality.... 1. have to say bye bye to those plasters.. sobz~ 2. have to start worrying abt physics!!! jialats.... and fmaths too.... wah~ *gone crazy*

and now i'm starting to eat my breakfast while reading prince of tennis... =D

now u know how come randy doesn't get his treat.... -_-'''

i know this is probably lame.. but.. i really cannot tahan le... the backache is killing me... =S

救命啊!!!

sighz... i duno wad to do...

juz now... dunno whether i feel like slapping my brother or nots... that selfish little gamemugger.... my mum asked him to help her carry some papers to pack them for recycling... cos i was washing up... and my dad was busy, and my sis went out for co, and den my brother was complaining y she asked him to help... and he was so impatient and showed attitude lohz. wad de.... i wasn't exactly angry... rather... i was... feeling that somehow, i failed as a sis to make him realise that wad he's doing was extremely selfish...

and i felt that my mum was feeling extremely 无奈 towards my brother... afterall, she spends the most time wif him out of everyone in the family, n she takes care of him the most... *talk abt being 偏心... hahaz...* n yet he's the most apathetic...

talk abt this quote again... "You treat those that are close to you not as well as those that are not as close"....

somehow... i wish i have to power to make my brother grow up...

arrgh... this is getting onto my nerves...

first... my comp got prob again... msn couldn't sign in... muz be cos of my brother dling all sorts of stuff again... sians... now finally when everybody's asleep... come and use the comp here... bleaghz~ lolz~

next... fmaths revision isn't going on well. i'm all screwed up for mechanics... tomoloz studying stats... when my mech is going to die le... 神啊~ 救救我吧！sighz...

and wad's more... juz now after dinner, i juz *pomp* onto my sofa and started sleeping... and woke up only at 11pm. siandeds... din get to mug more mech which i wanted to... sighz... and now i'm ranting here on my blog... and hoping that my mech improves juz liddat. -_-'''

冻结了那么久的感觉，又慢慢开始隐隐作痛...

my back seems to be getting nowhere better... maybe i should really visit a doctor after a levels. -_-'''

now reading prince of tennis... omg... the prince is so shuai!!! lolz~ *droolz*

-_-'''

olinda's out...

i dunno whether i even feel anything for singapore idol now.. come to think of it.. it's really furnie how pple can get so affected by a program like this.... lolz~

i'm going to miss her great vocals... and her personality...

will a company out there offer olinda a contract? so that we can still hear her sing? lolz~

想了一天, 还是觉得... 还是用华语比较能表达...

刚送应惠回家... 便下起倾盆大雨... 就撑着雨伞, 慢条斯理的走回家... 本来还想成这个难得的机会来淋淋雨... 哈哈... 不过怕淋了雨回家会让妈妈担心... *bleaghz* 所以便很不甘心的从书包的某一个深处挖出了伞... -_-'''

现在... 刚泡了一杯热汤... cambell soup 真是好喝... 哈哈... 刚刚还问了弟弟和妹妹要不要我顺便泡给他们喝，他们竟然跟我 “保持联络”... 哈哈... 可见得我这个姐是多么的失败... 哈哈...

哎呀... 刚刚还烫到嘴... -_-'''

好吧，该原归正传了... 今天... 在考场里做完了卷子，怎么也不能把心静下来检查答案... 拼命在那边胡思乱想... 结果化学卷子考得乱七八糟的... 我的四科 “A” 就这样的泡汤了... 哈哈.... 那说不定就是我的报应吧... =P 永明，对不起... 剥夺了你吃到我请的翡翠... *eh... i mean.. crystal jade... hahaz... -_-''' my chinese 烂 larz... wad u wan... -_-'''*

当人最脆弱的时候，让他重新爬起来的力量来自哪里呢？是家人？朋友？还是爱人？

我妈曾说过.... 亲情，友情，以及爱情都不是永恒的... 那时的我一直不肯相信，一味往外跑，为的是寻找心里希望存在的永恒... 可是，奔波了大约 5, 6 年... 我才发现... 原来我一直站在原地，不曾离开过半步... 哈哈...

或许这就是被判我母亲的真理的报应吧...

天下无不散之筵席... 这一点，或许我比他人还了解... 不论花儿开得多么灿烂，它始终都会枯萎...

既然聚在一起，最终还是得分开，那还叫做永恒吗？

或许，一直以来，都是我在自作多情... 什么才能称得上是永远？世上的一切，没有一样是永恒的... 生命不是永恒的，更何况是在那短暂的人生中的那几段感情？ 有一度，我从不相信友谊，到相信友情可到永远... 现在，我却又要回到原地...

说出去的话，我说不定还会被人笑死...

今天，被人“鸟”了... 我跟一个朋友对话，说到我的妹妹比我固执... 结果我朋友回答道：“至少她的固执是有目标的，那叫做恒心和有意念，不像你... 你的固执毫无目的...”

结果，当我在做化学卷子时，我的脑子时不时地会想起当时的对话... 连我都开始同意我朋友所说的那句话... 我这个人真的是太失败了...

“我爱你”、“好好照顾自己”.... 这几句话... 好想跟我所爱、所关心的人说... 可是我却不懂得如何表达... 结果，我一事无成，本想照顾周边的人，反而却伤害了他们...

这就是爱吗？

突然想到我妹妹曾爱唱的... “什么是情~ 什么是爱~ 为什么爱~ 会变成了害~”

明明很讨厌那些不讲义气的人... 最终，我发现不讲义气的人是我... 刚刚回家时，感到有点不安，因为我没有等我的两个朋友就跟另一个朋友回家了... 那个朋友看出我感到有点不安... 问我到底发生什么事，我便道... 好像 pangseh 了另外两个朋友... 没想到她便回答道... “aiyah... 哪里有什么 pangseh 不 pangseh 的... 他们又不是不懂得怎么回家...”

我听了，一时不知该如何回答...

科铭和君毅，刚刚放了你们的飞机，真是对不起...

像我这么烂的朋友，上哪都找不到... 所以，你们一个两个乘早把我这个损友给甩了吧...

考试时，脑海里一直播着这首歌... 是个让我想起许多回忆的歌... 想到丽婵、星慧、还有我这一届 nyco xyz 的所有人...

当你孤单你会想起谁

你的心情总在飞 什么事都想去追
想抓住一点安慰
你总是喜欢在人群中徘徊
你最害怕孤单的滋味

你的心那么脆 一碰就会碎
经不起一点风吹
你的身边中需要许多人陪
你最害怕每天的天黑

但是天总会黑 人总要离别
谁也不能永远陪谁
而孤单的滋味 谁都要面对
不只是你我 会感觉到疲惫

当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个人来陪
你的快乐伤悲 只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回

如果你愿意的话，就让我在这最后几个月陪你走一回吧...

juz woke up from another nap... realised that i couldn't get a good sleeping position... cos it would strain my back no matter how i sleep. super siandeds... in the end slept on my sofa, with two pillows clamping my head to a fixed position... and i lie on the sofa like a... corpse...

slept for 1.5hours++... such a pig.... hahaz...

tagboard is down.... haiz.... cannot leave messages on pple's blog... furnies why i'm whining down here... lolz~

todae was physics paper.... and i died horribly for it... for the mcq paper.. when the teacher was collecting our optical mark sheet... den i turned to look at my ex-classmate jiajing's paper.. and realised loads of my answers were different from hers... saw it and was mega sian diaos... very demoralised siaz.... den slept during the break between the two papers... paper 2 wasn't as good either... but at least... it wasn't as bad as my paper 1... which i think i got 1/3 of the questions wrong... and up till now my paper 2 i only discovered 1 mistake cos... i dun dare to go ask ard... lolz~

ignorance is bliss... yay~

aniwae... b4 i came home todae.... was walking round west mall *as usual*... den inside sans bookshop.... was trying to hear this radio program talking abt how pple who experience grief due to eg. death of a loved one... there's no need to try to run away from ur grief.. or to numb ur pain... becos it's natural to feel depressed and the pain... wad one should do would be to vent out their emotions... den i was standing in the shop there.. trying to look interested in comics... budden actually i was straining my ears to listen to the radio... so stupid.. lolz~ then there was this group of girls who were darn noisy... den somemore standing at the manga section... arrgh~ but aniwae.... it was an interesting program... learnt that there's online counselling service.... and that we can vent our emotions by confiding in someone whom we trust... eg. close friends, or cousellors... or we can write in our personal diaries, or online blogging... blah blah blah...

this might be useful in the future... =P

aniwae... to a certain individual out there... the chinese translation of blog is not "卜漏克", but "网记"... hahaz... though i know he doesn't even know the presence of my blog... muahahaz... *den this gives me chance to niao him more... muahahahaz~ i think i sound so evil. but i am... hahahaz~ =P*
back still aching now.. wonder wad's wrong wif it... maybe i sprained it or something.. or one of my backbones is out of place. dunno. haiz~

very tireds. loads of stuff going through my mind now. maybe sleep will cure all. including that irritating backache. and. for once i'm going to skip dinner. :P

因为好喜欢，所以我们在这里。因为好喜欢，所以我以为我们以后也会在一起。可是没想到光靠喜欢，我还是不能留在你身边，因为你将得不到幸福。已经不在是童年时代了，我们渐渐成长，即将变成大人。所以我和你将会─！？期待羽鸟和真绪的纯爱故事...

haiz~ such a nice blurb of kiss、绝交、kiss... book 9... haiz... looking at this whole chunk of words makes me feel like crying even when i was looking at the back of the book at comics connection... lolz~ so embarrassing.. =X

aniwae... still mugging for chem.. and my revision seems to be getting nowhere.. =S

haiz... jiayouz to everyone out there mugging hard for chem paper tomoloz.. and...

no matter how hard it is.... i'll have to keep walking down this path till the very end... hehz~ =)

juz woke up from a nap... had a really weird dreamz... dreamt of co.... guess i really missed the great old times back in hcco bah...

i guess i was really tireds.. cos when i went to sleep.. i juz slept like a pig for 1.5 hours... exceeded my original plan of 1 hour... siandeds... =X

oh yar.. b4 i forget... after a levels i think i should really change the format of my blog... hahahaz... =P

now... thinking of how to start chem revision.... at least now i feel slightly refreshed.... =)

i think the crux of my problem now is that... i'm too tensed... i can feel the strain on my back already... even when i woke up... my spine aches... jialats... it's either my sleeping position salah or my muscles really too tensed le... i need a massage.. *tears in eyes* dotz. doesn't this sound familiar? -_-'''

sighz.. getting fat... these few days kept eating.. den never exercise.. plus the whole day i've been sitting down to do my revision... den juz now sleep so much somemore... haiz.. after the end of a levels i'll surely become full time pig... =X FTP... hmms.. interesting....

oh.. speaking of a levels.. juz now for maths paper.. i can't believe wad i did... i finished and checked through the paper at ard 10+... den too tired... knocked out for abt 10 minutes... den struggled to stay awake for the rest of the paper... muz check mahz... den.... so... hahaz.. i started scribbling nonsense on my paper... -_-''' maybe when i get back the paper.. i can scan in that page on the qn paper for... erms... ur reference? lolz~

haiz.. maths paper.. i've got quite a... weird feeling abt it.. dunno how to describe it.. but.. oh well... hahaz... at least it's over.. and tml's chem... sheesh.. even more jialats. haiz...

the thought of chem paper tml juz.. haiz... maybe i should start mugging chem now... =X

我的爱

listening to sun yan zi cd now... it's a very interesting cd.. lolz~ thankx yunghei... =)

sorry to.. all those who tried to talk to me juz now... i think i was really in a daze juz now.. cos too tireds after the maths paper... bleaghz... sighz~

juz wanna post this lyrics online now.. hahaz... wanted to post it a long long time ago le... but no right to do so since i din have the cd... lolz~ wad logic is this? lolz~


我的爱
曲：林毅心 词：小寒 编：吴庆隆

绕着上路 走的累了 去留片刻 要如何取舍
前年捡的 美丽贝壳 心不透彻 不会懂多难得

以为只要简单的生活
就能平息了脉搏 却忘了在逃什么

我的爱 明明还在 转身了才明白
该把幸福 找回来 而不是各自缅怀
我会在 沿海地带 等着潮汐更改 送你回来
你走路姿态 微笑的神态 见你是曾错过的 真爱

莫非这是上天善意的安排
好让心更坚定 彼此更接近 真爱

我的爱 明明还在 转身了才明白
该把幸福 找回来 而不是各自缅怀
我会在沿海地带 等着潮汐更改 学着忍耐
不再怕伤害 不再怕期待 见你时那才是我真爱

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla


hahaz... did more quizilla... :P oh well.. i'm quite bored.. =P hahaz... me? represent hope? this muz be some kind of a joke... :P

aniwae... todae went out to mug again... woke up early again.... den felt like going back to sleep cos i'm really really very very tired.... the effects of sleeping late and waking up early is starting to show already.... and even now... my back's aching like siao... sighz... i need a massage... *tears in eyes* lolz~

due to my sianded-ness... i juz re-read my entire blog again... took me less than an hour... furnies siaz... dunno whether it's a good thing or not.. lolz~ all of a sudden.. my ankle hurts... sighz~ and somehow i keep having the idea that todae is a sunday... -_-'''

sighz... think i'm getting incoherent... shall stop b4 i go totally seh~

sometimes i really pity my friends who have to withstand all my lame shit crapping and my... well.. selfish need to start rumbling my troubles and problems and all the things which happened in my life... even when it causes others inconvienience... hahaz... sighz...

and that's when.. it's always important to remember that... never close up ur heart to others.. especially those who are in need of help... =)

been thinking abt stuff... *again*... juz like wad junyi said... everybody has their own problems... but even with our own problems, we should never close our hearts and reject those who need our support and help... because others have done so for our own troubles and problems... =)

so... never forget this... and... carry out ur actions according to this belief... =)

aniwae... juz wanna put down my friend's nick here... cos it's quite interesting.. =)

不是因为在象牙塔中，才说出我爱世界这样的话。是知道外面的黑，脏，丑陋之后，还要说出这样的话。
伤心和委屈的时候，要嚎啕大哭。哭完洗完脸，拍拍自己的脸，挤出一个微笑给 自己看。不要揉，否则第二天早上会眼睛肿。

interesting right? hahaz... i shall remember this nifty piece of advice.. :P

and for now... since junyi has shown such a sudden interest in this song.. i tot i shall put the song lyrics up for now.. :P


接受
曲：林毅心 词：阿管 编：Mool/Yugi

彷佛上一分钟 你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空 却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼过的歌到底有什么内容

* 彷佛已经自由 下一刻我变成风
吹过你的领空 差点失控 回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷

# 我们都接受 一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实得过了头 不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头 把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动 能记得多久

Repeat * #

woke up early again.... sians~

woke up thinking of... a levels. more siandeds...

nvm... to cheer myself up... shall start ranting wif all the weird and embarrassing(?) stuff which happened to me these few days...


THE WEIRD EVENTS COUNTDOWN...

1. i think... 2 days ago.. as i was walking from my house to the bus stop so that i can go to school to join the guys for swimming... i was thinking while walking.... wad if my clothes got wet cos we going to the pool... i might get dumped inside the pool... *aiyah... random thoughts mahz..* cos i din bring extra shorts.... and then... guess wad? i was juz below this block of flats.. and all of a sudden this person living on the 8th floor juz.... started pouring water out of her window. *start playing 难忘的泼水节* lucky i reacted in time ar.. never went into the area of attack... *wah.. somemore a sneak attack from above lehz.* i looked up at block to see who's the person who tried to 袭击 me... couldn't see the face... and that person juz kept pouring the water... -_-''' mega sian diaos...

2. yesterday nite i had a dream... i dreamt that i was in my house.. talking to my mum... and on the dining table.. there were loads of mushrooms.... *remember these few days it's always raining and last week loads of mushrooms started sprouting at the path near my house?* yar... apparently someone in the house had lost his/her mind and went to pick all these mushrooms up... and my mum was saying that we can cook them for dinner... -_-''' den i pointed out to her that there are white spots on some of the mushrooms... and then she gasps and said... oh sheesh.. these are poisonous mushrooms!!! *phew~ lucky i never discover only when we already ate it for dinner..* -_-''' (for more info regarding to mushrooms.. u can refer to my sis' blog... =P)

3. yesterday.. everywhere i went... i seemed to have crossed the path of bananas. b4 i went out... muz first confront the bunch of bananas hanging on my door.... got out of the house.... started walking... and this disgusting "aroma" of bananas juz drifted into my path... *of all paths somemore. sians.* and juz b4 i went home yesterday... i saw this pasam malam with this stall selling.. bananas. come home... saw bananas again at my door... and weijie juz started talking abt bananas again... -_-''' okies larz.. at least it's better than forcing me to eat 20 bananas at one go. -_-'''

4. okies larz.. starting from 3.. the events are no longer weird le bah. i'm juz the weirdo here who classified these as "weird". maybe it's cos i'm not fully awake yet.. :P so... the 4th event is... actually.. me.. hahaz.. dotz... jokings larz.... (dun start throwing rotten eggs at me... =X)

5. my mum is super nice to me these few days... *wait. lemme say this in advance... this is NOT a weird event...* a few days ago... she bought me this totally orange shirt... :D :D :D oh mine... and after that.. yesterday she bought me a pendant.... haiz... *this makes me sound like i'm such a materialistic person... but oh well.. maybe i am? :P* feeling bad cos i haven't really been a good daughter so far... neither am i a good sister... haiz~


okies larz... i'm running out of things to say already... *readers: phew~* hahaz... maybe shall be back laters to talk more... muahahahaz~ sighz... now back to listening first love and.. thinking more of how to finish studying for a levels...

todae... went to sing ktv... k lunch.. supposed to have loads of songs i wanted to sing.. in the end... in the morning... gong gong one... never really sang the songs i really wanted to sing except 下一个永远... i actually din sing first love!!! arrgh. haiz.... not pro enuff to sing this song yet... will lose face bah. =X hahaz.. wad crap..

aniwae... after singing... went to "mug"... *notice the inverted commas* went to millenia walk there... the burger king.... started mugging at ard 4.... den until 6.30 everybody too tireds le.... buay tahan... went home. -_-''' budden b4 dat... went for dinner wif kelvin.. ended up reaching home at... 930pm++... hahaz....

too tireds now to say anything le... eating peanuts now... by tml, i predict that my voice would be gone.. but hu cares now? especially when i've sung ktv already? muahahahahaz... dotz~

maybe tml would be a better mugging dae for me. haiz... todae only did 1 mcq paper... den tried abit of paper 2 qn.... up till now start from qn 5... and finished halfway of 9, which is data analysis. siandeds... cos got qns which i totally dunno how to do. -_-''' haiz.. HOW TO GO FOR EXAM LIDDAT???? haiz~

aniwae... now.. back to listening to first love and eating peanuts. =X

yesterday... spent my whole night to finish watching RO.... it rawks totally! hahaz...

started thinking... abt issues discussed in RO...

like... whether it's selfish to be demanding for attention...
like... how pple can lose their way in their pursuit for their goals that they forgot what they were looking for in the first place....
like... how some pple's motivation to go on is to be useful to others...
like... true strength isn't using strength itself... it's the heart that seeks and connects pple...

overall, i think this anime is not bad... but of course it can't be compared to fullmoon wo sagashite.. since it made me cry like siao, whereas RO made me cry at two scenes only.... hahaz.. dotz... the story plot gets really interesting as it approaches the end.... unlike the rather boring start... which is good... and the music is not bad too... i can still remember how every episode start wif the bright "we are the stars~~~" lalalalaz...

now... watching loads of j-pop mtvs which i took like... 2 months to dl le? hahaz.. dotz... budden... now... watching First Love mtv... somehow feel that... maybe there's another way to sing this song. :P oh well... lalalalaz... *who am i to talk abt this. a singer? dotz.* so now all of a sudden i feel like trying to master singing this song. *omg. i think i'm mad. =P*

First Love
sung by Utada Hikaru

Romaji Lyrics/English Translation

Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?

You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
Wasuretaku nai koto bakari
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
Anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you

You will always be inside my heart
Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever...
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

all of a sudden, i'm once again amazed at wad the tube can do to ease away boredom...

juz watched xiu chu zhen wo 2.... den now got this aiyoyo bao bei show going on... watching the show... saw this little boy who was darn helpful.... there's this fake ah po who fell down and is in need of help... den this boy ownself without the ah po asking... went to her aid... sighz... makes me 感触良多...

tried to play mahjong online again... realised that wad i'm actually missing is the touch... the feel... of... pong-ing... and chi-ing... hahaz.. dunno y yesterday so amused by mahjong online... now so siandeds by it... maybe that's wad humans are... fickle minded creatures. :P

watched RO juz now... and in the morning before the maths paper... oh yar.. maths paper was... easier than i thought... at least i could do without studying... sighz... and... i wanna sing ktv!!! bleaghz.

speaking of RO... the anime has loads of interesting stuff... like... "bamboos don't return force with force. instead it takes the force and flows along with it..." makes me start to wonder wad's true strength in this world is...

oh... my sis has gotten a new camera... and she juz took a snapshot of ME!!!!! she wanna die from seeing the... ghost in the picture ar. dotz~ and.. that flash was blinding... even when i wasn't looking straight at the camera, my eyes were almost blinded. -_-'''

heyz! i'm telling u here... u better send me -THAT- picture... or else....

*evil sniggers*

heyz... one personality test per day, yar? :P

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (32%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (54%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Overall you appear to be Left Brain Dominant.

-----------------------------------------

According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply
considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

hahaz.. interesting set of info.... tot cos i'm left handed so my right mind should be more dominant... guess that theory doesn't stand.. :P

oh well... with regards to that interesting newspaper article below, i juz regret to say... why did this idiot not have ORANGE highlighter???!!! *fumes* and... thankx to kelvin for showing me this article! =)