arrgh. of all times a certain idiot decides to defragment the comp cos he's not using the comp to play his favourite warcraft... or to read up on his gaming websites. how nice. leaving his two sisters wif LOADS of problems trying to 1. surf the net 2. to do pw. 3. to transfer files. and the list simply goes on.
simply b4 i start cursing again *for i juz can't send my sis her pw files*... i would like to say... no thankx to that little idiot once again for all the inconsiderate stuff he's doing now.
and not to forget he's currently running abt 3 p2p sharing programs currently.
and thus it's no wonder my sis can't receive her files.
!&$@!^(!
arrgh. i feel this urge to simply dun care abt wad happens to this lao pok comp now.. and juz go restart the whole comp.
sometimes i wonder y i even try to appear as though i'm not angry or anything. arrgh.
someone better stop me from killing my nice little brother.
31 October 2004
*the starry sky*
*the starry sky*
sung by HAL
Romanji lyrics / English translation
uh......konya mo mata hakanai hoshi zora
uh......hikaru hoshi ni negai o kakeru kara...
Uh.....Again tonight there’s the fleeting starry sky
Uh.....The shining stars are hanging with wishes.
.
Nayami wa itsumo taeru koto mo nai
Keredo tobira wa mo hiraiteiru yo
Fumarete mo taorete mo okiagaru tsuyosa kureta kimi ga
Hokoreru hoshi ni naru tame boku wa utau kara
Ima ijou ni ganbaru kara motto tsuyoku nareru you ni...
Although worries will always endure,
The door is opening
Walking, falling, you’re the one that picks me up and gives me strength
So you’ll become a proud star I’ll sing
Now I wont do less than my best, I’ll become stronger like...
Yurugi nai ai konna daiji na ai
Dare yori mo zutto daiji ni omotteru
Fuan na yoru mo tashika ni aru keredo
Makenaide ikiteiku bokura wa...
Unswaying love, this important love
No one else is so precious
This night is surely uneasy but
We’re the one that won’t lose, but go on living...
Unmei nante zankoku na mono de
Yosou nante ne tsukeyou mo nai deshou
Chitteiku kudateiku kedo kono te ni aru
Itami himitsu mochinagara kimi no tame ni boku wa utau kara
Omoeteite shinjiteite wasurenaideite hoshii
Destiny is such a brutal thing
Can’t we follow our expectations?
It’s scattering, falling but this hand is here
I’m carrying painful secrets for you while I sing
Think of, believe, don’t forget this wish
Dare datte kitto yowasa o himeteite
Kimi datte kitto honto wa kowai yo ne
Boku datte kitto wakarikitteru kedo
Makenaide ikiteiku bokura wa...
Because who will surely hide weakness
Aren’t you definitely scared?
I’m sure I’ll come to understand
We’re the one that won’t lose, but go on living...
Hakanakute mou naite shimaisou de...
Kanashikute mou tatte irarenai yo
It was fleeting and no more...
There is no need for sadness
Hakanakute mou naite shimau keredo
kanashikute mou tatte irarenai kedo
Dakedo ne kitto ironna shougai ni
Makenaide ikiteikou bokura wa...
It was fleeting and no more, but
There is no need for sadness,
Though there are surely many obstacles
We’re the one that won’t lose, but go on living...
sung by HAL
Romanji lyrics / English translation
uh......konya mo mata hakanai hoshi zora
uh......hikaru hoshi ni negai o kakeru kara...
Uh.....Again tonight there’s the fleeting starry sky
Uh.....The shining stars are hanging with wishes.
.
Nayami wa itsumo taeru koto mo nai
Keredo tobira wa mo hiraiteiru yo
Fumarete mo taorete mo okiagaru tsuyosa kureta kimi ga
Hokoreru hoshi ni naru tame boku wa utau kara
Ima ijou ni ganbaru kara motto tsuyoku nareru you ni...
Although worries will always endure,
The door is opening
Walking, falling, you’re the one that picks me up and gives me strength
So you’ll become a proud star I’ll sing
Now I wont do less than my best, I’ll become stronger like...
Yurugi nai ai konna daiji na ai
Dare yori mo zutto daiji ni omotteru
Fuan na yoru mo tashika ni aru keredo
Makenaide ikiteiku bokura wa...
Unswaying love, this important love
No one else is so precious
This night is surely uneasy but
We’re the one that won’t lose, but go on living...
Unmei nante zankoku na mono de
Yosou nante ne tsukeyou mo nai deshou
Chitteiku kudateiku kedo kono te ni aru
Itami himitsu mochinagara kimi no tame ni boku wa utau kara
Omoeteite shinjiteite wasurenaideite hoshii
Destiny is such a brutal thing
Can’t we follow our expectations?
It’s scattering, falling but this hand is here
I’m carrying painful secrets for you while I sing
Think of, believe, don’t forget this wish
Dare datte kitto yowasa o himeteite
Kimi datte kitto honto wa kowai yo ne
Boku datte kitto wakarikitteru kedo
Makenaide ikiteiku bokura wa...
Because who will surely hide weakness
Aren’t you definitely scared?
I’m sure I’ll come to understand
We’re the one that won’t lose, but go on living...
Hakanakute mou naite shimaisou de...
Kanashikute mou tatte irarenai yo
It was fleeting and no more...
There is no need for sadness
Hakanakute mou naite shimau keredo
kanashikute mou tatte irarenai kedo
Dakedo ne kitto ironna shougai ni
Makenaide ikiteikou bokura wa...
It was fleeting and no more, but
There is no need for sadness,
Though there are surely many obstacles
We’re the one that won’t lose, but go on living...
29 October 2004
sorry to be writing depressing stuff on a blog which everybody expects to be cheerful and entertaining.
我只想说... 我累了。
if u say.. u hate me. trust me. no one can hate me more than i do.
恨我自己没有骨气，恨自己那么软弱，恨自己没有勇气直截了当地过生活。更加恨自己自以为是，以为自己是什么大人物。
do u even know how i feel now? hahaz. actually. dun bother. cos it's not important aniwae.
and. stop helping me make my own decisions. i can make them myself, i'm not ur puppet.
我的声音在笑 泪在飘 电话那头的你可知道...
and. i dun need any consolation. i dun need anybody's pity or anything.
你们根本就不需要迁就我。因为，你们一旦对我好，我就会开始依赖，如果有一天我突然感觉不到你对我的好，我会不习惯的。既然天下无不散之筵席，不如你从头到尾都不要对我好过。
the higher u pin ur hopes, the greater the disappointment. so might as well live my life with no hopes or dreams to save myself from any disappointment.
中间
曲：潘协庆 词：廖莹如 编：
多远 能够走完这世界 感觉 放到极限
某天 无声的雨正下在某处我被淋湿了
湿透 我想才能更勇敢 等着 雨过天晴
忽然想要 看彩虹 可以拥抱我
* 我飞越 一阵痛楚的转变 懂的想的就那些
原来那就叫作 生命的中间 飞越 一滴苦涩的眼泪
雨点下的好直接 发现彩虹在天边 渺小的我
跑在最前面 那一边 是明天
看见 那看不见的时间 当我 有了从前
往前 发出声音告诉这世界我想要什么
听见 我已经开始冒险 泪水 流下安慰
哭过的脸 最坚决 放晴的瞬间
Repeat *
不远 来到一切的中间 (转变) 会变 灰色阴天到晴天 (那天)
了解 像勇气的无意间 (出现) 生命 有许多中间 Da
我只想说... 我累了。
if u say.. u hate me. trust me. no one can hate me more than i do.
恨我自己没有骨气，恨自己那么软弱，恨自己没有勇气直截了当地过生活。更加恨自己自以为是，以为自己是什么大人物。
do u even know how i feel now? hahaz. actually. dun bother. cos it's not important aniwae.
and. stop helping me make my own decisions. i can make them myself, i'm not ur puppet.
我的声音在笑 泪在飘 电话那头的你可知道...
and. i dun need any consolation. i dun need anybody's pity or anything.
你们根本就不需要迁就我。因为，你们一旦对我好，我就会开始依赖，如果有一天我突然感觉不到你对我的好，我会不习惯的。既然天下无不散之筵席，不如你从头到尾都不要对我好过。
the higher u pin ur hopes, the greater the disappointment. so might as well live my life with no hopes or dreams to save myself from any disappointment.
中间
曲：潘协庆 词：廖莹如 编：
多远 能够走完这世界 感觉 放到极限
某天 无声的雨正下在某处我被淋湿了
湿透 我想才能更勇敢 等着 雨过天晴
忽然想要 看彩虹 可以拥抱我
* 我飞越 一阵痛楚的转变 懂的想的就那些
原来那就叫作 生命的中间 飞越 一滴苦涩的眼泪
雨点下的好直接 发现彩虹在天边 渺小的我
跑在最前面 那一边 是明天
看见 那看不见的时间 当我 有了从前
往前 发出声音告诉这世界我想要什么
听见 我已经开始冒险 泪水 流下安慰
哭过的脸 最坚决 放晴的瞬间
Repeat *
不远 来到一切的中间 (转变) 会变 灰色阴天到晴天 (那天)
了解 像勇气的无意间 (出现) 生命 有许多中间 Da
terribly sick... whole body aching like siao. headache omnipresent.
You came from heaven. Your gole in life is to help
others and to make the world a better place.
Some call you weak, but in reality your soul is
very strong. If only more people were like
you...
Where did you come from?
brought to you by Quizilla
oh well. this goes to show how bored i am in the morning. hahaz... supposed to meet wendy to mug in the morning... going out soon le... haiz.... later come back home still muz reformat comp. sians...
You came from heaven. Your gole in life is to help
others and to make the world a better place.
Some call you weak, but in reality your soul is
very strong. If only more people were like
you...
Where did you come from?
brought to you by Quizilla
oh well. this goes to show how bored i am in the morning. hahaz... supposed to meet wendy to mug in the morning... going out soon le... haiz.... later come back home still muz reformat comp. sians...
28 October 2004
chem prac wasn't as bad as i tot... at least i could finish it todae... for the last time i'm doing chem prac.. hahaz... it felt rather... good.. except that i have errors... but oh well... that's not as important le.. =)
mugged a little after prac... but nothing seemed to go in... maybe too tireds le.
rushed home juz in time for singapore idol!!! omg. the way slyvester sang... if a guy out there sung a song in the way slyvester delivered that song.. omg. i might juz like florence... go marry that guy or something... wahahahahhaaz. :P
running a slight fever now... hope it isn't that bad...
mugged a little after prac... but nothing seemed to go in... maybe too tireds le.
rushed home juz in time for singapore idol!!! omg. the way slyvester sang... if a guy out there sung a song in the way slyvester delivered that song.. omg. i might juz like florence... go marry that guy or something... wahahahahhaaz. :P
running a slight fever now... hope it isn't that bad...
27 October 2004
26 October 2004
food for thought...
came across this on zhiyong's blog...
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-It isn't love, it's LIKE.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of him.
-It isn't love, it's LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show him off??
-It isn't love, it's LUCK.
Do you want him because you know he's there??
-It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
Are you with him because it's what everyone wants??
-It isn't love, it'S LOYALTY.
Are you with him because he kissed you, or held your hand?
-It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for his confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt him?
-It isn't love, it's PITY.
Do you belong to him because the sight of him makes your heart skip a beat??
-It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
Do you pardon his faults because you care about him?
-It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
Do you tell him every day he is the only one you think of?
-It isn't love, it's a LIE.
Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for his sake?
-It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
Does your heart ache and breaks when he's sad?
-Then it's LOVE.
Do you cry for his pain, even when he's strong?
-Then it's LOVE.
Does his eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
-Then it's LOVE.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to him even he doesn't want you anymore?
-Then it's LOVE.
Do you accept his faults because it's a part of who he is?
-Then it's LOVE.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with him faithfully without regret??
-Then it's LOVE.
Would you give him your heart, your life, your death??
-Then it's LOVE.
hmms. interesting...
todae... was mugging at macs... den saw this couple PDA-ing at one corner there... which i happened to be facing... omg. saw it and i got a little.. 寒毛竖起来的感觉.... hahaz... and all of a sudden this tot popped up to me... would i pda wif my bf next time? wahahahaz. this goes to show how bored i am by food chem. bleaghz.
aniwae.. the whole point of me putting this down is to remind myself to answer this.. lame question of mine in the future when i actually have a bf... so.. hahaz. seriously i hope i'm not so... yucky as that couple are. bleaghz.
haiz. juz now can cry one lehz. was playing pokemon again on my comp when my comp crashed again. goes to show that i shouldn't play pokemon anymore cos it causes my comp to crash. sighz. do i really have to delete that game away??? *tears of bordem in eyes*
so near... yet so far...
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-It isn't love, it's LIKE.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of him.
-It isn't love, it's LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show him off??
-It isn't love, it's LUCK.
Do you want him because you know he's there??
-It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
Are you with him because it's what everyone wants??
-It isn't love, it'S LOYALTY.
Are you with him because he kissed you, or held your hand?
-It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for his confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt him?
-It isn't love, it's PITY.
Do you belong to him because the sight of him makes your heart skip a beat??
-It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
Do you pardon his faults because you care about him?
-It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
Do you tell him every day he is the only one you think of?
-It isn't love, it's a LIE.
Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for his sake?
-It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
Does your heart ache and breaks when he's sad?
-Then it's LOVE.
Do you cry for his pain, even when he's strong?
-Then it's LOVE.
Does his eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
-Then it's LOVE.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to him even he doesn't want you anymore?
-Then it's LOVE.
Do you accept his faults because it's a part of who he is?
-Then it's LOVE.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with him faithfully without regret??
-Then it's LOVE.
Would you give him your heart, your life, your death??
-Then it's LOVE.
hmms. interesting...
todae... was mugging at macs... den saw this couple PDA-ing at one corner there... which i happened to be facing... omg. saw it and i got a little.. 寒毛竖起来的感觉.... hahaz... and all of a sudden this tot popped up to me... would i pda wif my bf next time? wahahahaz. this goes to show how bored i am by food chem. bleaghz.
aniwae.. the whole point of me putting this down is to remind myself to answer this.. lame question of mine in the future when i actually have a bf... so.. hahaz. seriously i hope i'm not so... yucky as that couple are. bleaghz.
haiz. juz now can cry one lehz. was playing pokemon again on my comp when my comp crashed again. goes to show that i shouldn't play pokemon anymore cos it causes my comp to crash. sighz. do i really have to delete that game away??? *tears of bordem in eyes*
so near... yet so far...
physics practical...
physics practical was.. horrible.... hahaz...
first, early in the morning, i almost couldn't wake up.... my sis was complaining to my mum abt how i was mumbling in my sleep the night before... the reason why was cos i studied juz before i went to sleep bah, den mind still in a whirl b4 i slept, so dreamt of loads of furnie stuff which i can't remember now... hahaz...
next... breakfast was... banana bread... -_-''' wah~ really wanna torture me wif that lehz... i no choice, bo bian have to eat something or else i'll die for physics prac.. so i forced that yucky thing down my gut... and guess wad? i felt like vomitting the whole morning. -_-'''
and wad's nicer than this? i started to develop this rather bad headache juz before the prac. -_-'''
aniwae... went in lohz... and guess wad came out for prac? magnet pendulum... which both pansy and junyi had predicted *or at least.. that's their hunch...* almost couldn't finish the magnet one.. went over to the electricity thingy, den had to continue answering questions from the pendulum one... the others who did the pendulum after electricity was sway... if they can't finish they can't finish. haiz...
and after the paper i found i have loads of careless mistakes. haiz. enuff abt that crappy shit.
-_-'''
after that... went to eat cai dao gui at bukit timah market... *hahaz... finally things are pecking up.* den went to mug at kap all the way until 10. omg. i din realise that i can be so muggish... *oh well. actually i mugged from 4-8... then the rest of the time we sat there chatting. -_-'''* aniwae... mugged abit of food chem... now wondering if it's still swimming inside my brain... haiz...
thurs is chem prac. i hope chem prac is not worse than physics prac. sighz~
first, early in the morning, i almost couldn't wake up.... my sis was complaining to my mum abt how i was mumbling in my sleep the night before... the reason why was cos i studied juz before i went to sleep bah, den mind still in a whirl b4 i slept, so dreamt of loads of furnie stuff which i can't remember now... hahaz...
next... breakfast was... banana bread... -_-''' wah~ really wanna torture me wif that lehz... i no choice, bo bian have to eat something or else i'll die for physics prac.. so i forced that yucky thing down my gut... and guess wad? i felt like vomitting the whole morning. -_-'''
and wad's nicer than this? i started to develop this rather bad headache juz before the prac. -_-'''
aniwae... went in lohz... and guess wad came out for prac? magnet pendulum... which both pansy and junyi had predicted *or at least.. that's their hunch...* almost couldn't finish the magnet one.. went over to the electricity thingy, den had to continue answering questions from the pendulum one... the others who did the pendulum after electricity was sway... if they can't finish they can't finish. haiz...
and after the paper i found i have loads of careless mistakes. haiz. enuff abt that crappy shit.
-_-'''
after that... went to eat cai dao gui at bukit timah market... *hahaz... finally things are pecking up.* den went to mug at kap all the way until 10. omg. i din realise that i can be so muggish... *oh well. actually i mugged from 4-8... then the rest of the time we sat there chatting. -_-'''* aniwae... mugged abit of food chem... now wondering if it's still swimming inside my brain... haiz...
thurs is chem prac. i hope chem prac is not worse than physics prac. sighz~
24 October 2004
1 day before physics prac...
two days before THE physics practical...
i fell sick.
one day before physics practical...
1. fumbling wif html to try to put up a radio blog.
2. playing pokemon fire red.
3. stoning and slacking.
4. trying to dl mp3s but fail nevertherless. -_-'''
okies. laff at that nice joke up there. HAHA.
after falling sick for juz one day, i seem to have lost direction for wad to do.... mind started wondering around... started thinking of all sorts of lame shit. -_-''' play game, stare more at computer... look at physics prac notes for 10 min, den back to playing game. wad sort of lame shit is this? omg. i'm becoming more and more like my brother... *gasps*
haiz. should start on food chem. i JUZ looked at my exam time table and to my horror... CHEM PAPER 3 IS THE FIRST PAPER juz after gp. omg. sighz. all the lactobacillius and wadeva lame shit that is. haiz~
oh. i juz noticed i've got quite a fetish for "lame shit"... -_-''' maybe it's the aftereffects of the flu.
starting to sneeze again. wondering whether it's cos i juz bathed and stuff. or maybe it's the weather.
haiz. how i wish that i know everything in the world now. like wad's coming out for physics prac tomoloz. and wad u're thinking of me now. like... "wad a lame piece of shit this stupid entry is."
*own self laff at ownself's joke*
okies. this seriously is a sign for someone to start calling up woodbridge.
i fell sick.
one day before physics practical...
1. fumbling wif html to try to put up a radio blog.
2. playing pokemon fire red.
3. stoning and slacking.
4. trying to dl mp3s but fail nevertherless. -_-'''
okies. laff at that nice joke up there. HAHA.
after falling sick for juz one day, i seem to have lost direction for wad to do.... mind started wondering around... started thinking of all sorts of lame shit. -_-''' play game, stare more at computer... look at physics prac notes for 10 min, den back to playing game. wad sort of lame shit is this? omg. i'm becoming more and more like my brother... *gasps*
haiz. should start on food chem. i JUZ looked at my exam time table and to my horror... CHEM PAPER 3 IS THE FIRST PAPER juz after gp. omg. sighz. all the lactobacillius and wadeva lame shit that is. haiz~
oh. i juz noticed i've got quite a fetish for "lame shit"... -_-''' maybe it's the aftereffects of the flu.
starting to sneeze again. wondering whether it's cos i juz bathed and stuff. or maybe it's the weather.
haiz. how i wish that i know everything in the world now. like wad's coming out for physics prac tomoloz. and wad u're thinking of me now. like... "wad a lame piece of shit this stupid entry is."
*own self laff at ownself's joke*
okies. this seriously is a sign for someone to start calling up woodbridge.
23 October 2004
as the signs start to show...
finally... after struggling for abt 2/3 weeks.... i can finally announce that...
i'm sick.
hahaz. dots...
well.. it's juz that i was going to fall sick since ard 2 weeks ago... it's only now that it finally "erupted" and become... more visible... so in a few days' time i'll probably have totally lost my voice and start sneezing like hell.. hahaz... not bad larz... at least got loads of pple missing me. *omg. so 不要脸* nah.. i was juz saying such stupid stuff to 自我安慰...
omg. prac next week. haven't studied finish food chem -at all-... and in addition... going to fall sick... haven't started practising for maths yet!!! omg omg omg... sighz. how i wish my sis can pass me some of her brains to help me score good grades for a levels... hahaz...
speaking of which... that gurl is still zZz ing.... that pig... hahaz... *nah. i'm calling myself pig too... hahaz... heyz.. dun kill me yar? :P* hope it's not cos i passed her my flu virus.... =X
aniwae. things to do todae... 1. do gp. 2. do chem. 3. do physics. hahaz. sound darn ambitious.... =X plus that irritating flu.. haiz...
hmms... thinking abt yesterday... open house.... actually i wasn't supposed to be in school so early... went to school at ard 7++, mug, den listened to the performances for open house before i went for gp consult... the co performance din sound as bad as i thought... though it could be millions and tons better.. hahaz... kelvin and the others seem to have a different opinion on this... hahaz... *maybe my standards are too low. :P*
den after gp consult... started pouring cats and dogs... listened to the co perform the second time, watched abit of the dance performances.. and saw the school flood. -_-''' den went kap to mug until 8+.... and heard zhanxin counselling his friend over the phone... hahaz.. kinda surprised that he's quite a good counselor... =Pp *raises eyebrows*... aniwae... ate nuggets, nuggets and more nuggets... and how can u forget fries. omg. i think my lunch for the whole week has been that. all my $$ flown away le. =X
by the time went home.... juz saw that maia and slyvester were the last two left in singapore idol in which one would "be leaving us tonite". maia was out!!! hmms... dunno whether it's good or bad.. but.. phew~ at least it's not leandrea... whom i quite like and others keep telling me she might get kicked out last nite.. =X and luckily slyvester is still in!!! yay! =)
*the above u juz heard is from a rather sick gal who is quite bored. =X*
aniwae. sneezing again. shall start gp le. finally.
i'm sick.
hahaz. dots...
well.. it's juz that i was going to fall sick since ard 2 weeks ago... it's only now that it finally "erupted" and become... more visible... so in a few days' time i'll probably have totally lost my voice and start sneezing like hell.. hahaz... not bad larz... at least got loads of pple missing me. *omg. so 不要脸* nah.. i was juz saying such stupid stuff to 自我安慰...
omg. prac next week. haven't studied finish food chem -at all-... and in addition... going to fall sick... haven't started practising for maths yet!!! omg omg omg... sighz. how i wish my sis can pass me some of her brains to help me score good grades for a levels... hahaz...
speaking of which... that gurl is still zZz ing.... that pig... hahaz... *nah. i'm calling myself pig too... hahaz... heyz.. dun kill me yar? :P* hope it's not cos i passed her my flu virus.... =X
aniwae. things to do todae... 1. do gp. 2. do chem. 3. do physics. hahaz. sound darn ambitious.... =X plus that irritating flu.. haiz...
hmms... thinking abt yesterday... open house.... actually i wasn't supposed to be in school so early... went to school at ard 7++, mug, den listened to the performances for open house before i went for gp consult... the co performance din sound as bad as i thought... though it could be millions and tons better.. hahaz... kelvin and the others seem to have a different opinion on this... hahaz... *maybe my standards are too low. :P*
den after gp consult... started pouring cats and dogs... listened to the co perform the second time, watched abit of the dance performances.. and saw the school flood. -_-''' den went kap to mug until 8+.... and heard zhanxin counselling his friend over the phone... hahaz.. kinda surprised that he's quite a good counselor... =Pp *raises eyebrows*... aniwae... ate nuggets, nuggets and more nuggets... and how can u forget fries. omg. i think my lunch for the whole week has been that. all my $$ flown away le. =X
by the time went home.... juz saw that maia and slyvester were the last two left in singapore idol in which one would "be leaving us tonite". maia was out!!! hmms... dunno whether it's good or bad.. but.. phew~ at least it's not leandrea... whom i quite like and others keep telling me she might get kicked out last nite.. =X and luckily slyvester is still in!!! yay! =)
*the above u juz heard is from a rather sick gal who is quite bored. =X*
aniwae. sneezing again. shall start gp le. finally.
19 October 2004
omg.
omg. my sis is a 恶心的家伙... i can't stand her. she got 3A and 1 C for her promos and a c5 for gp... and guess wad? she got 91.97% for physics!!! omg omg omg.
okies. juz pardon me wif my blabber for a while. considering that i only have ABCD for prelims now. pls try to understand my.. arrgh. wadeva u call that.
sighz. how to get 4 As for a levels???!!!
todae. went to school early in the morning to mug gp for consult at 1120. guess wad? lim ah was sick again, so i wasted like my whole morning on gp. could have done my chem lohz. sighz.
den after sitting at the class bench attempting to discuss abit of gp *which obviously failed. ha...* den i went to kap to continue mugging. played zhong ji mi ma and forced zhanxin to eat this whole packet of curry sauce and tried to make him eat another packet of curry sauce plus chilli sauce... in the end he din.... hahaz... den me and shian chi were washing grapes she bought at cold storage in the macs toilet and pple in the toilet were like.. staring at us thinking that we are some sort of idiot. hahaz... -_-'''
aniwae. spent like... 4 hours at kap and did like.. 3 chem questions. hahaz. -_-'''
and... i'm quite accident prone todae... banged my head like... 3 times todae le? banged my head twice in school.... den come back home bang again... how dumb. maybe it's a reflection of how smart my brains is. hahaz.
met jiayuan and yihui todae while mugging at kelvin b4 "gp consult" *wah.... up till now i still think they're cheating my $$... sobz* had a great time chatting and crapping wif jiayuan juz like the good ole times. hahaz.... and todae i discovered her.. ahems.. scandals.. hahaz.. courtesy of.. ahems.. my kor... hahahahaz.. :P
dunno whether i'm happy or sad or anything todae. too confused le... until i am sorta unable to differentiate stuff le... somehow.... i still feel 幸福... cos... i have so many frienz around.. and... i spent one whole day wif these guys.... hahaz... it's great knowing all of ur.. =) hope ur have the same opinion as i do too...
PS. heyz. hooxy... wad u think u doing wif my tagboard ar? i know ur maths qiang larz. no need to show off at my tagboard yar? -_-'''
okies. juz pardon me wif my blabber for a while. considering that i only have ABCD for prelims now. pls try to understand my.. arrgh. wadeva u call that.
sighz. how to get 4 As for a levels???!!!
todae. went to school early in the morning to mug gp for consult at 1120. guess wad? lim ah was sick again, so i wasted like my whole morning on gp. could have done my chem lohz. sighz.
den after sitting at the class bench attempting to discuss abit of gp *which obviously failed. ha...* den i went to kap to continue mugging. played zhong ji mi ma and forced zhanxin to eat this whole packet of curry sauce and tried to make him eat another packet of curry sauce plus chilli sauce... in the end he din.... hahaz... den me and shian chi were washing grapes she bought at cold storage in the macs toilet and pple in the toilet were like.. staring at us thinking that we are some sort of idiot. hahaz... -_-'''
aniwae. spent like... 4 hours at kap and did like.. 3 chem questions. hahaz. -_-'''
and... i'm quite accident prone todae... banged my head like... 3 times todae le? banged my head twice in school.... den come back home bang again... how dumb. maybe it's a reflection of how smart my brains is. hahaz.
met jiayuan and yihui todae while mugging at kelvin b4 "gp consult" *wah.... up till now i still think they're cheating my $$... sobz* had a great time chatting and crapping wif jiayuan juz like the good ole times. hahaz.... and todae i discovered her.. ahems.. scandals.. hahaz.. courtesy of.. ahems.. my kor... hahahahaz.. :P
dunno whether i'm happy or sad or anything todae. too confused le... until i am sorta unable to differentiate stuff le... somehow.... i still feel 幸福... cos... i have so many frienz around.. and... i spent one whole day wif these guys.... hahaz... it's great knowing all of ur.. =) hope ur have the same opinion as i do too...
PS. heyz. hooxy... wad u think u doing wif my tagboard ar? i know ur maths qiang larz. no need to show off at my tagboard yar? -_-'''
18 October 2004
events of todae....
1. last nite had weird dreams... 1st dreamt of me my dad and my brother at this concert wif stars like ah mei... zhang xue you... blah blah... den my brother did something darn silly and immature and spoilt the concert i think. 2nd dream which i remembered was that i was in the medival times, dressed as a male knight, being chased after by pple wif the intent to kill. the time when i ended my dream was the time i was seeking refugee at this couple's house, and one of the pursuers was there too, and i had to change my outfit. *huh? wad talking me?* think there were more dreams but that's all i remembered. all these dreaming made me darn tireds.
2. woke up. wanted to go school to play badminton wif jy and kelvin they all... woke up at 9 which is the time we're supposed to reach school. hahaz.. -_-''' b4 i could leave the house, my mum pointed out that my earphone was spoilt and that i should go ask my dad to repair it. den somehow she commented that she doesn't wanna talk to my dad anymore. den i was like... huh? and so asked her to explain. den she complained that my dad doesn't talk to her anymore... *which i went totally seh... cos my mum actually deh to me??? omg.*
3. went school, started playing badminton. thrashed junyi. *heh hehz~ :P* den played somemore.. all the way till abt 4... wif pple like zhanxin junyi kelvin zhidong and liqian *omg. i'm the only gal there. AGAIN. sighz.* played until the badminton club pple come for their cca le... or else, i think we'll probably be playing there until 6 or something. -_-'''
4. left the school, went kap. wanted to start mugging abit b4 going home after lunch *at ard 4+? hahaz.* den started on gp, ended up falling asleep. think i've been too tireds le... especially wif badminton? and the dreams lohz. sianz. slept all the way till we went home at 6. -_-'''
5. reached home. on comp. den realised that i juz accidentally got someone into trouble. felt quite bad cos i tot he would know that he shouldn't do something, but i guess it's juz me cos i din tell him he's not supposed to do that. so... sighz.
6. ate dinner. den heard my mum nagging at my brother again. sians. den my mum finished nagging at my bro then target shift to me. -_-'''
7. chatted abit wif my sis. realised that... in her pw group there's... john... hahahaz... those pple out there who knows wad i'm talking abt.. heh hehz~ oh. and i oso found out that she has confirmed 3 As for promos.. and 2 of the A she got was 80++ loh. wth. i'm so so so lousy in comparison. haiz.
8. chatted abit wif kelvin dey all. thinking abt stuff again. listening to 花的嫁纱 again and again and again. overworked my replay button, as nico/jon would have put it.
9. typing blog now. shall start on gp soon. and after that, back to thinking abt the things which has happened for the past few days.
things to do
1. talk to my dad abt... my mum.
2. somehow try to knock some sense into my brother *which i doubt i can. haiz*
3. mug hard for a levels. *which is oso quite hard considering how lethargic i am now.*
4. sort out some of the thoughts i have. *haiz.*
5. be more matured and think abt things more thoroughly. and act wisely.
6. START ON GP NOW!!!!
PS. i think i juz lost my orange bottle. *sobz*
17 October 2004
花的嫁纱
listening to this song in the middle of the night.
feeling kinda pissed off now cos a kind individual has decided to fabric all sorts of nonsense. very irritated wif him now... oso dunno y i'm so pissed off. dun think he truly feels sorry aniwae. but oh well. not my business anymore. for now.
listen more to this song bah. and stare more into blank space.
all of a sudden i've got this burning desire to get a radio blog juz to post this song online. hahaz. dots...
花的嫁纱
sung by 王心陵
花 开在太阳下 等着情人呀 努力盛开却 等不到它
雨 忽然一直下 打乱着花嫁 骗自己它就要 到了
可以哭 却还拼命的挣扎 说什么 只会让人当笑话
爱 是花儿的芬芳 是 蝴蝶的翅膀
是 伤心的蒲公英迷失它的方向
爱 在孤独中绝望 在绝望中坚强
坚强后继续不停 想着它
花 开在太阳下 等着情人呀 努力盛开却 等不到它
雨 忽然一直下 打乱着花嫁 骗自己它就要 到了
爱 是花儿的芬芳 是 蝴蝶的翅膀
是 伤心的蒲公英迷失它的方向
爱 在孤独中绝望 在绝望中坚强
坚强后继续不停 想着它
爱 是花儿的芬芳 是 蝴蝶的翅膀
是 伤心的蒲公英迷失它的方向
爱 在孤独中绝望 在绝望中坚强
坚强后继续不停 想着它
他 丢了爱的他 心像被针扎 身体无助到 像要死掉
雨 一直不停下 眼里进了砂 骗自己已没有牵挂
feeling kinda pissed off now cos a kind individual has decided to fabric all sorts of nonsense. very irritated wif him now... oso dunno y i'm so pissed off. dun think he truly feels sorry aniwae. but oh well. not my business anymore. for now.
listen more to this song bah. and stare more into blank space.
all of a sudden i've got this burning desire to get a radio blog juz to post this song online. hahaz. dots...
花的嫁纱
sung by 王心陵
花 开在太阳下 等着情人呀 努力盛开却 等不到它
雨 忽然一直下 打乱着花嫁 骗自己它就要 到了
可以哭 却还拼命的挣扎 说什么 只会让人当笑话
爱 是花儿的芬芳 是 蝴蝶的翅膀
是 伤心的蒲公英迷失它的方向
爱 在孤独中绝望 在绝望中坚强
坚强后继续不停 想着它
花 开在太阳下 等着情人呀 努力盛开却 等不到它
雨 忽然一直下 打乱着花嫁 骗自己它就要 到了
爱 是花儿的芬芳 是 蝴蝶的翅膀
是 伤心的蒲公英迷失它的方向
爱 在孤独中绝望 在绝望中坚强
坚强后继续不停 想着它
爱 是花儿的芬芳 是 蝴蝶的翅膀
是 伤心的蒲公英迷失它的方向
爱 在孤独中绝望 在绝望中坚强
坚强后继续不停 想着它
他 丢了爱的他 心像被针扎 身体无助到 像要死掉
雨 一直不停下 眼里进了砂 骗自己已没有牵挂
16 October 2004
轨迹
all of a sudden, juz feel like posting this song here... pls change ur encoding to unicode to view this... =)
轨迹
曲：周杰伦 词：黄俊郎 编：
怎么隐藏 我的悲伤 失去你的地方
你的发香 散的匆忙 我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛 还能看见 你离去的痕迹
在月光下 一直找寻 那想念的身影
如果说分手 是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前 我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的 不敢说的爱
会不会有人 可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你 接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天 会有人代替 让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑 接着紧紧闭上眼
又想了一遍 你温柔的脸 在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪 模糊了视线 你已快看不见
轨迹
曲：周杰伦 词：黄俊郎 编：
怎么隐藏 我的悲伤 失去你的地方
你的发香 散的匆忙 我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛 还能看见 你离去的痕迹
在月光下 一直找寻 那想念的身影
如果说分手 是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前 我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的 不敢说的爱
会不会有人 可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你 接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天 会有人代替 让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑 接着紧紧闭上眼
又想了一遍 你温柔的脸 在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪 模糊了视线 你已快看不见
unusual findings on a mundane grocery shopping trip.
sighz. did i ever mention how i hated going out wif my family to shop for groceries???
at first, i tot i was totally out of my mind when i actually agreed to go wif my mum todae... *wow... did the sun rise from the west today?* well... cos my sis is at her class chalet wif... ahems. hahaz... :P ... and so.. yar. so as to take a step to being a good daughter *pukez*... oh well. heck.
but aniwae.. i was there.
at first, i tot shopping for groceries was not -that- boring... but... after i stepped into NTUC... immediately i felt like fishing out my food chem notes which i had packed inside my bag, which i had tried to condemn b4 i stepped out of the house. *oh well... i juz brought those notes juz in case i was really that bored.* den, i resisted the urge. so i started looking at... tomatoes. hahaz. dots.
i think the reason y i was so super siandeds is cos i saw this woman mopping the floor there, who has a slight ap. wah kao... pple buying stuff there, den she grumpily ask pple to stand aside in her... barely audible singlish... and the sight of her juz simply put me off... so i stood there, trying to find a way to move the trolley so that she could mop her floor in peace, but she juz blocked my way and dun let me move. dots.
okies. maybe i was in the wrong there. hahaz...
oh... and to my horror, my mum took another 4 bunches of bananas. -_-'''
and... i saw this woman who has a one dollar coin stuck in her ear... dunno whether it's for fun or not.. but it din seem that she's that type of person who would do that normally. maybe she has no place to put her that 1 dollar coin. or maybe she's trying to imagine herself as the trolley... which needs that 1 dollar coin to move. *okies. pardon me. it's hard not to start imagining nonsense when u're that bored.*
aniwae, things started to change when i saw.... organics shampoo!!! *winkz at nadia* dots. oh well. it's juz that... i started going towards the shelf, opening the shampoo bottle, and started smelling the shampoo... hahaz. and after some smelling of the shampoo by me and my mum who was probably amazed at my.. well... bo liaoness... we decided to buy 2 bottles of that shampoo since it's on offer. hahaz. dots.
then... we paid for our stuff... which sumed up to slightly more than 100 bucks *my gosh. at least it's cheaper than last time.. i remembered that we used to pay 150 ard there for each weekly shopping trip.* yar. goes to show how much bananas my brother eats? hahaz. dunno lehz.
after that, cheong to west mall... went shopping for a while. i finally got my bossini T-shirt... hehez... den went to get a pair of earings each for myself and my mum.... and my brother got 2 pairs of pants too.... yar... and my mum is there complaining that everytime she brings me out on groceries shopping trip, she'll end up paying much more cos i always buy so much barang barang. *hehez*
and so i went to buy dinner while my mum continued shopping at shop & save at west mall... den after that, cheong home le... BUT... it's not to watch that disgusting huan zhu ge ge which i dunno y my mum decided to turn on the tv now and i keep hearing those disgusting voices from the show. arrgh.
HUAN ZHU GE GE 3 IS CONDEMNED!!! YI TIAN TU LONG JI RAWKS BIG TIME!!!
*okies. i'm juz suffering from the yi tian withdrawal synptoms... bleahz.*
after this... "eventful" day... i've come to the conclusion that...
well. groceries shopping is... maybe... not that boring. MAYBE.
at first, i tot i was totally out of my mind when i actually agreed to go wif my mum todae... *wow... did the sun rise from the west today?* well... cos my sis is at her class chalet wif... ahems. hahaz... :P ... and so.. yar. so as to take a step to being a good daughter *pukez*... oh well. heck.
but aniwae.. i was there.
at first, i tot shopping for groceries was not -that- boring... but... after i stepped into NTUC... immediately i felt like fishing out my food chem notes which i had packed inside my bag, which i had tried to condemn b4 i stepped out of the house. *oh well... i juz brought those notes juz in case i was really that bored.* den, i resisted the urge. so i started looking at... tomatoes. hahaz. dots.
i think the reason y i was so super siandeds is cos i saw this woman mopping the floor there, who has a slight ap. wah kao... pple buying stuff there, den she grumpily ask pple to stand aside in her... barely audible singlish... and the sight of her juz simply put me off... so i stood there, trying to find a way to move the trolley so that she could mop her floor in peace, but she juz blocked my way and dun let me move. dots.
okies. maybe i was in the wrong there. hahaz...
oh... and to my horror, my mum took another 4 bunches of bananas. -_-'''
and... i saw this woman who has a one dollar coin stuck in her ear... dunno whether it's for fun or not.. but it din seem that she's that type of person who would do that normally. maybe she has no place to put her that 1 dollar coin. or maybe she's trying to imagine herself as the trolley... which needs that 1 dollar coin to move. *okies. pardon me. it's hard not to start imagining nonsense when u're that bored.*
aniwae, things started to change when i saw.... organics shampoo!!! *winkz at nadia* dots. oh well. it's juz that... i started going towards the shelf, opening the shampoo bottle, and started smelling the shampoo... hahaz. and after some smelling of the shampoo by me and my mum who was probably amazed at my.. well... bo liaoness... we decided to buy 2 bottles of that shampoo since it's on offer. hahaz. dots.
then... we paid for our stuff... which sumed up to slightly more than 100 bucks *my gosh. at least it's cheaper than last time.. i remembered that we used to pay 150 ard there for each weekly shopping trip.* yar. goes to show how much bananas my brother eats? hahaz. dunno lehz.
after that, cheong to west mall... went shopping for a while. i finally got my bossini T-shirt... hehez... den went to get a pair of earings each for myself and my mum.... and my brother got 2 pairs of pants too.... yar... and my mum is there complaining that everytime she brings me out on groceries shopping trip, she'll end up paying much more cos i always buy so much barang barang. *hehez*
and so i went to buy dinner while my mum continued shopping at shop & save at west mall... den after that, cheong home le... BUT... it's not to watch that disgusting huan zhu ge ge which i dunno y my mum decided to turn on the tv now and i keep hearing those disgusting voices from the show. arrgh.
HUAN ZHU GE GE 3 IS CONDEMNED!!! YI TIAN TU LONG JI RAWKS BIG TIME!!!
*okies. i'm juz suffering from the yi tian withdrawal synptoms... bleahz.*
after this... "eventful" day... i've come to the conclusion that...
well. groceries shopping is... maybe... not that boring. MAYBE.
last day of school?
yesterday... too tired to type anything here...
yesterday is sorta the last day of school... dunno whether i'm happy sad or anything. maybe it hasn't totally sunk in yet....
a new start to mugging. a new start to a world to no life.
heyz. since when have i really lived my life in the first place?
now... starting to think of all the things which happened within these two years... so many things.. happy and depressing.. all those memories flashed past my mind...
these memories, sweet and painful... i'll never wanna forget them... and i'll never regret anything i've done...
yesterday... after that maths remedial... went to celebrate rudy lee's birthday.. ate at aiwo at raffles city... ate until i pok gai ar... den went to buy cake wif zhanxin to celebrate rudy lee's bdae as well... total added up to $20 lehz... the most ex meal i've ever eaten... hahahaz... *heyz. i'm a poor student yar?*
then, the whole class went to esplanade... went there to "star gaze" but apparently there were no stars there to gaze at all... den i had a wonderful chat wif weixiang and weijie... hahaz... realised that everybody has their own problems, but it's how they decide to handle them... and... in our discussion, we found that nico is the most carefree... cos he always eating... and then we turned to look at him and found he's eating ice cream.. hahaz...
then we chatted abt the class... the things which lie under the peaceful surface. wait. wad peaceful surface? actually there were still loads of things which i would have wanted to chat wif them to seek their opinions about... but juz, yesterday, not enuff time i guess.... sighz..
i wonder if we'll ever get the chance to chat liddat again...
sighz. once, i tot i've gotten over the "last day" syndrome... i wonder if i can survive this once again.... though the situation is different now, and the end is inevitable... but somehow, i hope... that everybody out there... u guys would shine out there... and.. all da best for A levels!
and i hope, to a particular individual out there.. u would be able to recover from that particular incident... it's not ur fault or ur inability, it's rather... the fault of the other party... hahaz... and, to think of it in a different way, perhaps it's better liddat.... =)
on the other hand.. i'm glad that... this other individual seemed to have changed his attitude towards me... thankx a millions... though i know that it's already the end... but... still... thankx... hope u can find ur happiness.... this is a really wonderful memory which i'll really treasure and not forget... =)
and to others out there... hope ur problems would be solved... i'll be there when ur need me... juz gimme a buzz and i'll try my very best to help u guys... :D
though in the course of the two years, we have many conflicts... and stuff liddat... i'm so glad to meet... the CO peeps! and.. 33 guys... u guys rawk! =) best wishes to everyone out there...
yesterday is sorta the last day of school... dunno whether i'm happy sad or anything. maybe it hasn't totally sunk in yet....
a new start to mugging. a new start to a world to no life.
heyz. since when have i really lived my life in the first place?
now... starting to think of all the things which happened within these two years... so many things.. happy and depressing.. all those memories flashed past my mind...
these memories, sweet and painful... i'll never wanna forget them... and i'll never regret anything i've done...
yesterday... after that maths remedial... went to celebrate rudy lee's birthday.. ate at aiwo at raffles city... ate until i pok gai ar... den went to buy cake wif zhanxin to celebrate rudy lee's bdae as well... total added up to $20 lehz... the most ex meal i've ever eaten... hahahaz... *heyz. i'm a poor student yar?*
then, the whole class went to esplanade... went there to "star gaze" but apparently there were no stars there to gaze at all... den i had a wonderful chat wif weixiang and weijie... hahaz... realised that everybody has their own problems, but it's how they decide to handle them... and... in our discussion, we found that nico is the most carefree... cos he always eating... and then we turned to look at him and found he's eating ice cream.. hahaz...
then we chatted abt the class... the things which lie under the peaceful surface. wait. wad peaceful surface? actually there were still loads of things which i would have wanted to chat wif them to seek their opinions about... but juz, yesterday, not enuff time i guess.... sighz..
i wonder if we'll ever get the chance to chat liddat again...
sighz. once, i tot i've gotten over the "last day" syndrome... i wonder if i can survive this once again.... though the situation is different now, and the end is inevitable... but somehow, i hope... that everybody out there... u guys would shine out there... and.. all da best for A levels!
and i hope, to a particular individual out there.. u would be able to recover from that particular incident... it's not ur fault or ur inability, it's rather... the fault of the other party... hahaz... and, to think of it in a different way, perhaps it's better liddat.... =)
on the other hand.. i'm glad that... this other individual seemed to have changed his attitude towards me... thankx a millions... though i know that it's already the end... but... still... thankx... hope u can find ur happiness.... this is a really wonderful memory which i'll really treasure and not forget... =)
and to others out there... hope ur problems would be solved... i'll be there when ur need me... juz gimme a buzz and i'll try my very best to help u guys... :D
though in the course of the two years, we have many conflicts... and stuff liddat... i'm so glad to meet... the CO peeps! and.. 33 guys... u guys rawk! =) best wishes to everyone out there...
15 October 2004
sighz sighz sighz.
this is the third time i'm trying to attempt to type an entry here...
all my thoughts in a clutter now.. can't even get them organised...
having a headache now. haven't done gp which i needed to finish by tomoloz for consult.
feeling that everything is crashing down now.
how ironic is life?
juz now.. i was telling u that i wun be affected.. but, as i read the previous entries... i could still feel... pain... as i read through, from ur account even, instead of my own thoughts and feelings during that period of time... hahaz...
y issit that it still hurts? i dun understand. issit cos of my stubborn nature? and my unwillingness to let go?
if only i'm juz some small plain ordinary girl down the street, who would not even dare to dream beyond reality... things would have been so much happier...
sometimes... i juz feel... that there are so, so many things which i wanna tell u... to tell juz.. anybody whom i know.. but due to the different circumstances, i couldn't say... juz have to keep everything buried beneath me...
and someone once commented... i can feel there's something destroying urself within u...
issit really true? i dunno... those... feelings.. seem to be like a time bomb.. waiting to explode...
it exploded once.. and i can't imagine how things would like if it exploded again...
someone told me again... "dun think abt it now... it's not wise to make decisions wif such mental state" hahaz... how to stop thinking now when... u know that u can't stop thinking?
maybe i should really try that exercise the school taught us to clear our minds... hahaz...
not good enuff for everything. not good enough to be a kind and sensitive friend. not good enough to care for u guys... so wad if my feelings hold true? it doesn't mean that... everything would turn out alright...
i'm juz tireds... tired of the past, present, and the bleak future.
if i even have a future.
how i wish that things were different. that u need not have to suffer... and that... perhaps.. i wasn't even around in this world..
this is the third time i'm trying to attempt to type an entry here...
all my thoughts in a clutter now.. can't even get them organised...
having a headache now. haven't done gp which i needed to finish by tomoloz for consult.
feeling that everything is crashing down now.
how ironic is life?
juz now.. i was telling u that i wun be affected.. but, as i read the previous entries... i could still feel... pain... as i read through, from ur account even, instead of my own thoughts and feelings during that period of time... hahaz...
y issit that it still hurts? i dun understand. issit cos of my stubborn nature? and my unwillingness to let go?
if only i'm juz some small plain ordinary girl down the street, who would not even dare to dream beyond reality... things would have been so much happier...
sometimes... i juz feel... that there are so, so many things which i wanna tell u... to tell juz.. anybody whom i know.. but due to the different circumstances, i couldn't say... juz have to keep everything buried beneath me...
and someone once commented... i can feel there's something destroying urself within u...
issit really true? i dunno... those... feelings.. seem to be like a time bomb.. waiting to explode...
it exploded once.. and i can't imagine how things would like if it exploded again...
someone told me again... "dun think abt it now... it's not wise to make decisions wif such mental state" hahaz... how to stop thinking now when... u know that u can't stop thinking?
maybe i should really try that exercise the school taught us to clear our minds... hahaz...
not good enuff for everything. not good enough to be a kind and sensitive friend. not good enough to care for u guys... so wad if my feelings hold true? it doesn't mean that... everything would turn out alright...
i'm juz tireds... tired of the past, present, and the bleak future.
if i even have a future.
how i wish that things were different. that u need not have to suffer... and that... perhaps.. i wasn't even around in this world..
14 October 2004
another day gone...
feeling larthagic...
another one of my goldfish died.
dunno whether i'm even sad or anything.
had a dream last night which wasn't good at all. maybe it was an omen of something which is about to come true...
hope it really wun come true....
and... feeling bad to loads of pple... like junyi... keep bullying him... hahaz... and to rudy lee... todae it's his bdae... den our class like no response to it... being his very own ct lehz... somemore his other chem class got at least sing bdae song to him lohz. sighz....
thinking of loads of things now... maybe a night's sleep could help me clear my mind...
feeling larthagic...
another one of my goldfish died.
dunno whether i'm even sad or anything.
had a dream last night which wasn't good at all. maybe it was an omen of something which is about to come true...
hope it really wun come true....
and... feeling bad to loads of pple... like junyi... keep bullying him... hahaz... and to rudy lee... todae it's his bdae... den our class like no response to it... being his very own ct lehz... somemore his other chem class got at least sing bdae song to him lohz. sighz....
thinking of loads of things now... maybe a night's sleep could help me clear my mind...
13 October 2004
missing and being missed?
"因为思念与被思念都是一种幸福... 如果可以，我想每刻都装满对你的思念..."
saw this quote as my frienz msn nick.. all of a sudden feel inspired to quote it here... hahaz...
todae wasn't really a "good" day bah... went to school... den my bus broke down, end up being ard 15 mins late... =(
den got niaoed by my frienz cos of something.... den becoz of that i din wanna go eat.... ended up getting gastric... silly girl... =(
den juz now on my way home.... suddenly felt my left ankle hurt a little.. think yesterday i accidentally landed badly on that foot, den now it's finally starting to hurt le...
budden now... not feeling terrible or something... feeling oddly... calm? okies. maybe cos i juz woke up from my nap... which i wanted to wake up at 6 but ended up waking up 30 mins later.
-_-'''
bad girl. tsk tsk.
shall try to finish ac compre laters... sighz. revision seems to be getting nowhere... not doing anything...
12 October 2004
memories of the past...
hahaz... for some reason or another... somehow.. i'm back to playing sonic the hedgehog again... hahaz...
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sonic.html
playing that game reminded me largely of the stuff i was once crazy over... when i was still in primary school... and the person who introduced me to it... hahaz... kinda started thinking of my that great p school friend again... wonder how he's doing now in hk.. :P
hahaz... go check out the above url bah... i juz cleared the first stage... the music came from sonic 3... but this flash game to me is a little lag.. so... hahaz... think it'll take me a bit more time b4 i can clear everything... hahaz...
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sonic.html
playing that game reminded me largely of the stuff i was once crazy over... when i was still in primary school... and the person who introduced me to it... hahaz... kinda started thinking of my that great p school friend again... wonder how he's doing now in hk.. :P
hahaz... go check out the above url bah... i juz cleared the first stage... the music came from sonic 3... but this flash game to me is a little lag.. so... hahaz... think it'll take me a bit more time b4 i can clear everything... hahaz...
10 October 2004
iN tHe sHaDoW oF tHe sTaRz~
changed the layout last nite.... something's wrong wif my font size type and colour... hahaz.. guess html isn't really my cup of tea... do gimme comments on the design, yar?
09 October 2004
i wished upon a star for you...
this post should have come up yesterday... but owning to the fact that 2 days ago i had almost no sleep at all trying to finish sheila's present... i typed halfway yesterday.. and then knocked out in front of the comp.... wif pple trying to converse to me... trying to figure out whether i've woken up a nots.. *cos i always fall asleep in front of the comp when i'm too tired... :P*
yar... so finished the cross stitch... den at that time it was 6.30am.... wanted to meet junyi and pansy to go school together at 7.20am... so tot i should take a nap.. cos i had totally no sleep... which means generally that i would be half dead in school... dun want mah... so took a nap.. and guess wad? i overslept... slept till 7.20, when junyi called me.. den i woke up... and realised that i'm going to be late... so maluating.. i ended up to be late by 20 mins for physics lesson... sian diaos...
aniwae... it wasn't a good day for me yesterday... besides being so physically drained... though i did nothing through the nite but to stitch stitch... which resulted in me seeing all those threads whenever i closed my eyes... ha~ budden... sighz... juz felt nothing's going right... first overslept until late lohz. sighz... maybe it would have been better if i din nap at all....
besides that... went to school.. then half the time stoning there... might as well dun go school le... =(
and...
sighz...
my mum called me during break.. to tell me that.. one of the fishes which fiona and jasmine gave me for bdae... it died... for that time i stood kinda in shock... before the thing started to sink in...
den had to rush to toilet during chem halfway cos cannot tahan le... bet i made pple sitting ard me like pansy and zhanxin a little worried... den when i finally calmed down, shian chi came into the toilet and saw me... and heard my "flu sounding" voice... and she realised that something was wrong.. sorry to have made ya so worried yar? i'm feeling better now... =)
funny thing how i can grow so attatched to the fish which only came into my life like... 2 days before hand? and.... i think if the same thing happened 3 years ago, i wun have felt this way....
or maybe this time round.. i felt i was responsible for their lives... and i want them to live on... cos... previously, all the fishes i reared died... and i think i've never quite gotten over them... cos i felt... fishes they have their own life.. .and by capturing them and placing them in our care as selfish human beings.. we ought to be responsible for their lives... and should let them enjoy life... but.. .i failed terribly... all the fishes which came to my hands died... either due to... perhaps overfeeding? or cos not enuff oxygen.... so.... for quite some time i told myself that i dun ever wanna buy fishes to keep anymore... cos i'm not good enuff to take care of them...
and now... only after 2 days in my care... there had been 1 casualty... leaving the other fish all alone in that cold hard glass container...
and to think that the day before it died... i was thinking of the names for the fishes... wanted to call them 流星雨 and 小鱼儿... budden that time busy wif cross stitch.. din go and look at the fishes to actually name them... come to think of it... haiz....
i bet my mum could tell i was very upset over the death of either 小鱼儿 or 流星雨... den she went to buy 2 more goldfishes.... which when she told me... i was kinda... scared... cos.. wad if they died again? but i was cheered up... cos... of wad she did... =) thankx...
den.. over the night.. the two new goldfishes couldn't make it.. and they both died...
sighz... it's me, right?
now.... i guess i'm past the crying stage le... no more tears welling up my eyes... juz... staring quite blankly at the comp screen... feeling sorry for the lone fish swimming in the glass container again... i've decided that it should be called... 留星雨... hoping that it would stay... and hope that i can be good enuff to take care of it... though i know deep down that... maybe it wun make it already le... i dunno...
somehow this whole episode reminded me of... carmen and her bettys in 9th elsewhere...
except that... my betty wun regenerate and appear again...
i'm wishing upon a star for u.... for the three of u guys... i hope ur din die too painfully... and... rest in peace...
yar... so finished the cross stitch... den at that time it was 6.30am.... wanted to meet junyi and pansy to go school together at 7.20am... so tot i should take a nap.. cos i had totally no sleep... which means generally that i would be half dead in school... dun want mah... so took a nap.. and guess wad? i overslept... slept till 7.20, when junyi called me.. den i woke up... and realised that i'm going to be late... so maluating.. i ended up to be late by 20 mins for physics lesson... sian diaos...
aniwae... it wasn't a good day for me yesterday... besides being so physically drained... though i did nothing through the nite but to stitch stitch... which resulted in me seeing all those threads whenever i closed my eyes... ha~ budden... sighz... juz felt nothing's going right... first overslept until late lohz. sighz... maybe it would have been better if i din nap at all....
besides that... went to school.. then half the time stoning there... might as well dun go school le... =(
and...
sighz...
my mum called me during break.. to tell me that.. one of the fishes which fiona and jasmine gave me for bdae... it died... for that time i stood kinda in shock... before the thing started to sink in...
den had to rush to toilet during chem halfway cos cannot tahan le... bet i made pple sitting ard me like pansy and zhanxin a little worried... den when i finally calmed down, shian chi came into the toilet and saw me... and heard my "flu sounding" voice... and she realised that something was wrong.. sorry to have made ya so worried yar? i'm feeling better now... =)
funny thing how i can grow so attatched to the fish which only came into my life like... 2 days before hand? and.... i think if the same thing happened 3 years ago, i wun have felt this way....
or maybe this time round.. i felt i was responsible for their lives... and i want them to live on... cos... previously, all the fishes i reared died... and i think i've never quite gotten over them... cos i felt... fishes they have their own life.. .and by capturing them and placing them in our care as selfish human beings.. we ought to be responsible for their lives... and should let them enjoy life... but.. .i failed terribly... all the fishes which came to my hands died... either due to... perhaps overfeeding? or cos not enuff oxygen.... so.... for quite some time i told myself that i dun ever wanna buy fishes to keep anymore... cos i'm not good enuff to take care of them...
and now... only after 2 days in my care... there had been 1 casualty... leaving the other fish all alone in that cold hard glass container...
and to think that the day before it died... i was thinking of the names for the fishes... wanted to call them 流星雨 and 小鱼儿... budden that time busy wif cross stitch.. din go and look at the fishes to actually name them... come to think of it... haiz....
i bet my mum could tell i was very upset over the death of either 小鱼儿 or 流星雨... den she went to buy 2 more goldfishes.... which when she told me... i was kinda... scared... cos.. wad if they died again? but i was cheered up... cos... of wad she did... =) thankx...
den.. over the night.. the two new goldfishes couldn't make it.. and they both died...
sighz... it's me, right?
now.... i guess i'm past the crying stage le... no more tears welling up my eyes... juz... staring quite blankly at the comp screen... feeling sorry for the lone fish swimming in the glass container again... i've decided that it should be called... 留星雨... hoping that it would stay... and hope that i can be good enuff to take care of it... though i know deep down that... maybe it wun make it already le... i dunno...
somehow this whole episode reminded me of... carmen and her bettys in 9th elsewhere...
except that... my betty wun regenerate and appear again...
i'm wishing upon a star for u.... for the three of u guys... i hope ur din die too painfully... and... rest in peace...
06 October 2004
heyz...
happy birthday to 游,
happy birthday to 游,
happy birthday to sotong...
happy birthday to 游...
hahaz.. dots... when i saw this sms.. hahaz... but glad to receive it... :D
feeling happy now... though things weren't too bright for me.... hahaz... contented maybe bah... still thinking of things which happened yesterday and todae...
aniwae... juz wanna say...a BIG...
THANKEW~~ to all those mentioned below...
weixiang, weijie, zhanxin, nico and zhidong: *i hope i din leave any out...* for that cute sotong and the orange pot! hahahaz....
kelvin and junyi: for that pair of op slippers! din think u guys would actually remember that i really like that pair! and that kelvin ar... still walk and try to measure my shoe size!!! u ar... really li hai lehz. :p
shian chi, pansy, sheila, yunzi, xiaoli, yin yin: omg! u gals actually bought me that... orange dress!!! omg... dunno whether i'll actually get to wear it or not.. hahaz...
fiona and jasmine: thankx for those fishes!!! eh... dunno whether i'm capable of taking care of it... but rest assured! i'll try my very best to make sure it wun die! :P
kelvin: thankx for that comic!!! :D aiyoh.. bought that pair of slippers le, still went to buy the comic.... thankew~
jonathan and liqian: for that really nice present!!! :D ur muz have put in loads of effort!!! really appreciate that... :D and.. yupz~ frienz foreva! :D
and most importantly...
to my parents, my sis and my brother: for celebrating my birthday with me... to my sis... for going down to west mall to get that delicious cake for me... thankx a millions... and to my mum... for trying so hard to celebrate my birthday when i actually dao-ed her yesterday when she asked me wad i want for my cake todae.. hahaz... i was feeling kinda down yesterday.... and i din really like to have such a big celebration or something... so i told her i dun want anything lohz.... budden todae... she actually went to ask my sis to go get a cake for me despite all that.. and the most important thing is that.... she said.. 有人给你庆祝生日是一种福气喔！要好好珍惜！and so... for a moment.. i felt 感动... =)
thankx to everybody out there... like.. yu chun! u still remembered my bdae! and.. eugene too! kinda surprising that u remembered... =) thankew so much.. i really enjoyed myself todae... =)
and thankew jasmine fifi shian chi nico and weixiang!!! for going to ktv with me todae!!! i really enjoyed my dae! hope u guys enjoyed urselves too!
abt the fishes.. hahaz... it's kinda furnie.. cos... juz now when i reached home.. i had no idea where to put the fishes... first i placed it at the dining table... den with everybody in the family eating there during dinner, my fishes would have loads of disturbances... so change position... dun wanna scare the fishes... next, my mum suggested me to put at this place above the cupboard for my hi-fi set... in the living room.. den i was complaining that it's too high, might topple the glass jar and my poor fishes might die... then my mum suggested that i place it at the table at one corner of the living room... den i said.. aiyah... too far.. i cannot see my fishes that often *cos it's kinda hidden at one corner of the house le... which i dun visit often.. hahaz~ finally i placed the fishes beside the tv.... then my mum was like saying... heyz.. u put the fishes there, then the tv so noisy, wun ur fishes be scared? den i replied.. eh... fishes oso wanna see tv one wad. :p dots...
and then again. there was .... AHEMS.... a controversy of wad to name the fishes... ahems... those pple out there.. u know who u r... hahahaz...
and... nico!!! stop eyeing my fishes!!! :P i know they appear tasty.. but.. ahems... not good to eat them raw, right? :P
aniwae... this year.. i have 3 big birthday wishes... like i'm kinda greedy liddat lehz... aniwae i juz wish that my wishes would come true in the order i made them.. hahaz... *greedy pig* sighz... hope everything would turn out alright... =)
05 October 2004
on the eve of a not at all special day.
hahaz...
dunno wad's wrong with me now... all of a sudden feel everything crashing down...
it's not work, it's not relationships *at least that's wad i would love to think...*... it's not... well.. i dunno now...
family? i duno... maybe it plays a huge part now... juz feeling ultra dumb and horrible now... juz now... came home late cos went shopping with xiaoli pansy fifi dey all for prom dress... ended up reaching home like.. at 7.45.... and it's like.. my parent's wedding aniversary... jialats. i only remembered all of a sudden when i reached west mall... after i bought a $9.50 comic book... leaving myself totally broke with 2.50 left.... and i was thinking... aiyah.. so late le.. might as well try to rush home asap.. rather than to spend more time trying to shop for a present for my parents... brisk walked all the way home... den tried to appear cheery when i reached home... my mum questioned where i went.. so i told her truthfully...
den... after the 7o'clock show... when she could settle down and start nagging and scolding pple again... it all comes down again... nag at my brother to stop using comp... nag at me... repremanded y i din score well for chem... *wah.. i really tried hard le lohz... i really did...* hahaz... she simply din get it bah. all of a sudden i'm so envious of my sister who seems to be able to ace everything.
maybe i'm feeling stressed now bah.... not meeting up to pple's different expectations... i'm not perfect at all... so why come blame me for some of the things i couldn't really control? for eg... my chem? maybe i din study hard enuff le... but at least i din find it disappointing... sometimes i appear to heck care abt results and everything.. but deep down, i know my limits.. i wun let myself duo4 luo4 until so jialats.. personally i was kinda upset that i got a d... den i cheered myself up by saying that it's only prelims and that... well, at least i made some improvements, and now at least i'm slightly above average... den she comes along and make me sink back into everything again. hahaz... well done. *oh my god. i'm back to the good ole sacarstic me.*
it's not her fault bah. the fault lies with myself.. feeling a headache coming towards myself..
i have too many faults.. but people seem to think i dun have those faults... and to try to meet up to their expectations.. maybe i'm juz trying too hard... but still unable to make it... hahaz...
sometimes i really wanna slap myself.. i guess i juz dunno how to express myself at all... no observation skills.. not gentle at all... dunno how to show care for others. i really tried to be a "good friend" to be there for my friends when they need them... but then maybe it's juz all a cover... juz to cover up my weaknesses...
like now. how i try to pretend i'm okies when my dad juz came out of the shower...
once again, i had been proven how hard it is to be "a nice person".
i'm not a nice person at all... how many times have i tried to revert back to the bad, totally insensitive idiot? well... i'm always liddat wad.... no matter how hard u try to cover wadeva flaws u have, u're still.. flawed. there's no way to change it... we are all flawed cos none of us are perfect... then y issit that u muz think that i can do this, i can do that.. and i can do and be everything in the world?
hahaz.. sorry for that senseless ramblings...
i'm not a good sister at all... my sis juz wun tell me her problems.. and appear that she has none... and i'm being the idiotic overbearing sister by hogging the com to type this stupid blog entry now... and with regards to my brother, i appear to be doing nothing to help him in his studies... or to help my mum discipline my brother..
and i'm not a good daughter.. for being so insensitive... so blur... so idiotic... to go and have thoughts of slapping my mum sometimes when she's too irritating... sigh... maybe it's my foul mood... and... sometimes or rather most of the times, i would juz.. heck care abt everything in the familiy... dun care abt housework... or washing dishes after dinner at all...
studies wise... i feel i'm still okies by my own standards, but my mum juz feels i'm still millions of miles away from the 4 A she wanted... lucky she din know abt the s papers thingy... or else i bet she would have used that to make me study even harder now..
and... to my friends... juz feel i'm totally blur and insensitive... can't even tell whether someone is feeling okies or not... i'm such a darn failure... and... i wanna show care and concern... but juz dunno how... and so i'll choose to keep quiet... and juz let that person zi4 shen1 zi4 mie4... i ought to be shot to death.... and i can't help pple keep secrets.... so next time pple out there ur might as well not trust me anymore... dun tell me secrets any more...
and i'm juz a super chor lor girl... who doesn't know how to react when things happen... pple say i look elegant? and the "gao1 bu4 ke3 pan1".... but.... hahaz. they are all wrong.... i'm the person who cannot "gao1 pan1" they themselves.... so i should juz simply keep my mouth shut and juz continue smiling like some idiot.
and now my dad has to help me wash dishes again cos maybe he could tell i was crying before hand... and he tries to pretend he doesn't know.
hahaz...i oso can't understand myself.. it's only results only lehz.. only a stupid chem result with a d... wad for be so upset? the normal me would juz laff at this horrible result and then move on.. but somehow this time, i can't...
i'm not good at anything... not good at studies, not good at being a good friend *where got good friends forget their good frienz birthdays one?* not being a good sister and daughter... i simply have no idea how to be nice... i tot i knew last time.. .turned out i was horribly wrong... i wanted to bring joy to others... turned out i brought more trouble for them... hahaz... smart girl, smart girl...
sighz. shall not hog the com any longer... happy birthday in advance to me. and... being a year older brings me a step closer to eternal slumber... ... time to stop being such a idiot before i have no chances left at all...
dunno wad's wrong with me now... all of a sudden feel everything crashing down...
it's not work, it's not relationships *at least that's wad i would love to think...*... it's not... well.. i dunno now...
family? i duno... maybe it plays a huge part now... juz feeling ultra dumb and horrible now... juz now... came home late cos went shopping with xiaoli pansy fifi dey all for prom dress... ended up reaching home like.. at 7.45.... and it's like.. my parent's wedding aniversary... jialats. i only remembered all of a sudden when i reached west mall... after i bought a $9.50 comic book... leaving myself totally broke with 2.50 left.... and i was thinking... aiyah.. so late le.. might as well try to rush home asap.. rather than to spend more time trying to shop for a present for my parents... brisk walked all the way home... den tried to appear cheery when i reached home... my mum questioned where i went.. so i told her truthfully...
den... after the 7o'clock show... when she could settle down and start nagging and scolding pple again... it all comes down again... nag at my brother to stop using comp... nag at me... repremanded y i din score well for chem... *wah.. i really tried hard le lohz... i really did...* hahaz... she simply din get it bah. all of a sudden i'm so envious of my sister who seems to be able to ace everything.
maybe i'm feeling stressed now bah.... not meeting up to pple's different expectations... i'm not perfect at all... so why come blame me for some of the things i couldn't really control? for eg... my chem? maybe i din study hard enuff le... but at least i din find it disappointing... sometimes i appear to heck care abt results and everything.. but deep down, i know my limits.. i wun let myself duo4 luo4 until so jialats.. personally i was kinda upset that i got a d... den i cheered myself up by saying that it's only prelims and that... well, at least i made some improvements, and now at least i'm slightly above average... den she comes along and make me sink back into everything again. hahaz... well done. *oh my god. i'm back to the good ole sacarstic me.*
it's not her fault bah. the fault lies with myself.. feeling a headache coming towards myself..
i have too many faults.. but people seem to think i dun have those faults... and to try to meet up to their expectations.. maybe i'm juz trying too hard... but still unable to make it... hahaz...
sometimes i really wanna slap myself.. i guess i juz dunno how to express myself at all... no observation skills.. not gentle at all... dunno how to show care for others. i really tried to be a "good friend" to be there for my friends when they need them... but then maybe it's juz all a cover... juz to cover up my weaknesses...
like now. how i try to pretend i'm okies when my dad juz came out of the shower...
once again, i had been proven how hard it is to be "a nice person".
i'm not a nice person at all... how many times have i tried to revert back to the bad, totally insensitive idiot? well... i'm always liddat wad.... no matter how hard u try to cover wadeva flaws u have, u're still.. flawed. there's no way to change it... we are all flawed cos none of us are perfect... then y issit that u muz think that i can do this, i can do that.. and i can do and be everything in the world?
hahaz.. sorry for that senseless ramblings...
i'm not a good sister at all... my sis juz wun tell me her problems.. and appear that she has none... and i'm being the idiotic overbearing sister by hogging the com to type this stupid blog entry now... and with regards to my brother, i appear to be doing nothing to help him in his studies... or to help my mum discipline my brother..
and i'm not a good daughter.. for being so insensitive... so blur... so idiotic... to go and have thoughts of slapping my mum sometimes when she's too irritating... sigh... maybe it's my foul mood... and... sometimes or rather most of the times, i would juz.. heck care abt everything in the familiy... dun care abt housework... or washing dishes after dinner at all...
studies wise... i feel i'm still okies by my own standards, but my mum juz feels i'm still millions of miles away from the 4 A she wanted... lucky she din know abt the s papers thingy... or else i bet she would have used that to make me study even harder now..
and... to my friends... juz feel i'm totally blur and insensitive... can't even tell whether someone is feeling okies or not... i'm such a darn failure... and... i wanna show care and concern... but juz dunno how... and so i'll choose to keep quiet... and juz let that person zi4 shen1 zi4 mie4... i ought to be shot to death.... and i can't help pple keep secrets.... so next time pple out there ur might as well not trust me anymore... dun tell me secrets any more...
and i'm juz a super chor lor girl... who doesn't know how to react when things happen... pple say i look elegant? and the "gao1 bu4 ke3 pan1".... but.... hahaz. they are all wrong.... i'm the person who cannot "gao1 pan1" they themselves.... so i should juz simply keep my mouth shut and juz continue smiling like some idiot.
and now my dad has to help me wash dishes again cos maybe he could tell i was crying before hand... and he tries to pretend he doesn't know.
hahaz...i oso can't understand myself.. it's only results only lehz.. only a stupid chem result with a d... wad for be so upset? the normal me would juz laff at this horrible result and then move on.. but somehow this time, i can't...
i'm not good at anything... not good at studies, not good at being a good friend *where got good friends forget their good frienz birthdays one?* not being a good sister and daughter... i simply have no idea how to be nice... i tot i knew last time.. .turned out i was horribly wrong... i wanted to bring joy to others... turned out i brought more trouble for them... hahaz... smart girl, smart girl...
sighz. shall not hog the com any longer... happy birthday in advance to me. and... being a year older brings me a step closer to eternal slumber... ... time to stop being such a idiot before i have no chances left at all...
04 October 2004
senseless ramblings.
sighz... now that i've calmed down much as compared to two days ago, can finally sit down and talk abt wad happened 2 days ago.... aiyah... my mum and bro were once again quarreling cos my brother kept playing on the comp and my mum bu shuang... den my mum started dragging in loads of stuff... like... how no one in the family shows her care and concern... and how nobody listens to her animore... den... the way she puts it... when it has nothing to do with her argument wif my bro... juz makes pple more irritated... and when my brother decides to further dao her, she turns her target to me and starts to scold me for not packing up my stuff... okies... i admit now that i'm at fault for not packing my stuff cos it's really darn messy, budden... that time really very irritated le... so i juz... like.. fu yan her... said yesh.. but in the end my pile of stuff is still lying all over the lace.. hahahaz..
and my stoopid brother... i asked politely whether i could use the comp from him.. he dao me. fine... i said.. silence means consent.. so i used... den 3 mins later, went to toilet... den come back saw him signing off for me without even asking me.... wah lew... i wanna slap him le lohz. first u dao pple, next u disrespect that person, doing things related to that person without asking lohz. i was quite pissed off with him lohz... sighz.... den my mum added on to this.. by commenting that.. dunno when he became liddat.. wah.. really felt like slapping him le.... he not only shows ap to me, he shows it to my mum and everybody.... sighz...
i really dunno wad to do with him.... den when my mum targeted me, she started bringing in how i as his elder sis should not go out so often and stay at home to look after my brother and teach him his hw.... wah~ if he really wants help he could come and ask me, i'll gladly help him... the prob is even when he actually have prob, well.. simply.... that situation wun really occur cos he would always think he's right, and juz anyhow whack that problem.... he juz wun admit that he doesn't know how to do certain stuff... -_-''' sighz.... den u ask me how to help him? haiz.
den now.. stupid computer... i cannot sign into msn.. on my comp... now using my brother's comp cos he's not at home now... phew~ save me from another argument with him.... sighz.
shall talk abt happier stuff now.. like.. yesterday... =)
went out to play badminton with junyi kelvin and zhanxin... <-- kinda surprising that he would actually come out to play... hahaz.. .tot he would only come out when there's ball. :P
aniwae.. was glad to have come out.. cos at home.. always here pple quarreling here and there. siandeds totally...
played badminton. den played bball.. kelvin zhanxin and zhemin were playing against this girl who is from school team and her guy friend... den they wanted me to join in.. budden.. hahaz.. i dunno how to play bball at all when u put me next to all these experts.. hahaz.. in the end... me and junyi sat at the side.. looking at them play.. den decided to play badminton abit. den borrowed zhanxin's ball to start shooting at the other side of the court... den this nice uncle came and zhi dian the two of us. bball idiots.. hahaz... den we found out he was actually a past tchs *arrgh. that school again. but this uncle is different from my irritating brother. hahaz* bball school team player... hahaz... he's quite zai.... no matter how he puts the ball in using underhand lay.. it always goes in even when it seemed not to make it.. :D so he corrected my underhand lay... den i finally took one step towards beating zhanxin at bball... ha~
sighz. i miss bball... hahaz.... =)
and my stoopid brother... i asked politely whether i could use the comp from him.. he dao me. fine... i said.. silence means consent.. so i used... den 3 mins later, went to toilet... den come back saw him signing off for me without even asking me.... wah lew... i wanna slap him le lohz. first u dao pple, next u disrespect that person, doing things related to that person without asking lohz. i was quite pissed off with him lohz... sighz.... den my mum added on to this.. by commenting that.. dunno when he became liddat.. wah.. really felt like slapping him le.... he not only shows ap to me, he shows it to my mum and everybody.... sighz...
i really dunno wad to do with him.... den when my mum targeted me, she started bringing in how i as his elder sis should not go out so often and stay at home to look after my brother and teach him his hw.... wah~ if he really wants help he could come and ask me, i'll gladly help him... the prob is even when he actually have prob, well.. simply.... that situation wun really occur cos he would always think he's right, and juz anyhow whack that problem.... he juz wun admit that he doesn't know how to do certain stuff... -_-''' sighz.... den u ask me how to help him? haiz.
den now.. stupid computer... i cannot sign into msn.. on my comp... now using my brother's comp cos he's not at home now... phew~ save me from another argument with him.... sighz.
shall talk abt happier stuff now.. like.. yesterday... =)
went out to play badminton with junyi kelvin and zhanxin... <-- kinda surprising that he would actually come out to play... hahaz.. .tot he would only come out when there's ball. :P
aniwae.. was glad to have come out.. cos at home.. always here pple quarreling here and there. siandeds totally...
played badminton. den played bball.. kelvin zhanxin and zhemin were playing against this girl who is from school team and her guy friend... den they wanted me to join in.. budden.. hahaz.. i dunno how to play bball at all when u put me next to all these experts.. hahaz.. in the end... me and junyi sat at the side.. looking at them play.. den decided to play badminton abit. den borrowed zhanxin's ball to start shooting at the other side of the court... den this nice uncle came and zhi dian the two of us. bball idiots.. hahaz... den we found out he was actually a past tchs *arrgh. that school again. but this uncle is different from my irritating brother. hahaz* bball school team player... hahaz... he's quite zai.... no matter how he puts the ball in using underhand lay.. it always goes in even when it seemed not to make it.. :D so he corrected my underhand lay... den i finally took one step towards beating zhanxin at bball... ha~
sighz. i miss bball... hahaz.... =)
03 October 2004
sighz. it's driving me crazy.
and i'm going crazier and crazier by the second.
first.... the stupid router decides to give us prob again. now i'm trying hard to salvage the situation....
with my mum and brother quarrelling again in the background.
and somehow when my mum decides she gives up talking to my brother, she shifts her target to me.
darn irritating. when would this ever stop.
and that router. arrgh.
first.... the stupid router decides to give us prob again. now i'm trying hard to salvage the situation....
with my mum and brother quarrelling again in the background.
and somehow when my mum decides she gives up talking to my brother, she shifts her target to me.
darn irritating. when would this ever stop.
and that router. arrgh.
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