今天从下午开始下起了豪雨，让我整天都沉浸在迷迷糊糊的状态。明明想要在教补习之前那小小空档的时间来好好享用晚餐，到了最后却忽然改变主意，无缘无故跑 到书局去，只是想要走走看看有没有什么好看的书 *其实是要找飞轮海的写真。。。虽然我早就知道他们应该是卖到断货了。。。* 却让我发现了几米最新的作品！

书名是《恋之风景》。当初看到这本“宝”的第一感想只是：哇。几米又有新书了！兴奋地翻阅这本新书，每个字每幅画都深深触碰到我的心。感觉到眼泪在眼角打转。为故事与现实的无奈而感叹。

故 事说的是一对恩爱的男女一起遇到车祸，男子不幸离开了人间，留下寂寞与绝望的女友。女子不再相信幸福，沉浸在自己的悲伤里，看不到世上的一切美好，就好 像眼睛被蒙上似的。但她时不时听到死去的男友在她耳边不断的鼓励她，她相信她的心上人变成了守护在她身边的天使，也应次慢慢恢复了，也慢慢开始再次欣赏周 围的美丽事物。但天使越在人类耳边说话，翅膀上的羽毛就会越掉越多。她的爱人因为对她深深的爱，不惜牺牲自己的性命，翅膀上的羽毛完全脱落，他也无法再留 在她身边。。。女子仍然认为男友还一直守护在她身旁。。。

嗨。这是个多么凄美的故事。我忍不住，差点想马上拥有这本画册，毕竟我已经很久没有被一本书感动过。太多无法用言语形容的感触，我本来以为用华文，或许比较容易表达，但到此依然不知从何说起。

或许失去会让你的双眼被悲痛所蒙蔽，但当你走出悲伤，还会认为已经不再存在的东西依然存在吗？

感想一直卡在脑海里，无法将它一一写下，就留到改次想到了再加一补充。

it's time to stop moping in darkness and sorrow.
i want to fill my life with little bubbles of happiness.

Chingay! XD

the past 2 days was quite a fun experience! been helping out at the chingay parade as crowd control *though it turns out that we didn't really do much imo haha* watching the parade live and unobstructed is just... shiok... hehex... the only downside to this is... the irritating photographers who chiong out of their designated places on day 1... and the dancers who just refused to move their butts as though they don't understand english on day 1 as well... the actual parade was actually ok... i suppose...

the real fun starts after the parade... though we're supposed to help out at the floats area, but since there's too many people to help out with the floats thingy, me my sis and jenny decided to have some fun taking pictures with the cosplay people who walked with the president float earlier... since multiply's currently down, i'll post some of the better pictures here... *can't really expect much with my lousy phone camera lol*

having fun with the gundams?

omg mummy! i took a picture with naruto!

isn't that vincent valentine? where's his coffin?

why does the gundam look so sad?

hey we know how to ride these things okay?... just kidding haha...

omg i never wanna make her angry...

hahaha~ arean't my photo taking skills great? this is the front of one of the floats XD

well, there are more photos taken during the crazy post parade, but they're quite blur so i'll post them on multiply instead... after their service is up again =( more photos with gintama and other cosplayers... and with two kawaii korean military band members... strangely they understood english! another short dampening incident that happened earlier during the post parade was when i tried to ask some of those japanese "cosplay" people to take picture with me... they shun away from me! made me so sad and no longer high... but on after thought, i think maybe they're not the cosplayers, but just happened to dress in those kind of gothic clothing... so yeaps.

some of the things that came to my mind during this event was... temper control. especially when it comes to dealling with those idiots who simply refused to listen to you, or those who think others have to serve them cos their heads are bigger or something. well the thought of it still makes me fume a little lolx, so i suppose i have to do better at temper control. well, maybe it means i lack interacting with other fellow human beings *why do i sound a little like sunako?* at least i feel, if i were doing this when i was in jc or sec school i wouldn't feel the same way as i feel during the parade or after the parade. maybe i was humbler then? haha so... gotta learn how to tactfully deal with whatever situation that happens next time...

though there are ups and downs to this entire 2 days of chingay, i hope next year i can do it again... haha~ but i guess probably not, since i'm here this time to help my friend... if they're not helping to organise this again next year... i'll be stuck at home with my tv to catch chingay again... or maybe i can help them build their float if they're taking part in performing in the parade... wahaha *continues to daydream...*... ... ...

候鸟的忧伤，神枪手的调皮
恋人未满的羞涩，痛快的呐喊

我爱你，S.H.E!!!

i have a new dream, that is...

to sing with a live band, or to sing and perform in a harmonising group or something...

which will never be realised in real life bwahahahahaha. hey that's what dreams are for, right? =)

seriously... the lack of sleep must be getting to me...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

happy happy chinese new year! it's a little late for this mega greeting *it's 初四 btw lolx* been busy sleeping eating watching dvd tv blah blah blah... n trying to catch up on tutorials... the latter attempt turned out to be quite a failure regretfully... hehex

went manga/dvd/cd crazy with my small fortune from the chinese new year... went to buy some manga and S.H.E's concert dvd... very impressed with their performance... they're really the 天团... 1337! they're not my idols for nothing k... but watching that dvd really made me wish i'm rich to buy the tickets to watch their concert live... sighz...

been thinking about a few issues these day... read the 5:1 ratio theory on a magazine the other day...

the 5:1 ratio -- you need 5 good memories to make you forget 1 bad memory...

i thought i could let go of some of the "bad" stuff i've met in the past... but turns out i'm kinda wrong... guess i don't have enough good memories yet to erase the bad ones? or maybe i'm just too cynical about our imperfect world...

sometimes i wish i'm just my old self before all the wonderful illusions of my perfect world collapsed against reality...

the hardest thing for one to learn is to trust someone totally.

below is a song i heard a long time ago but thought nothing of it... when i listened to it again yesterday, i realise how nice and meaningful the song lyrics is... enjoy!

Belief

歌手:S.H.E
作詞：施人誠
作曲：左安安

我知道每陣風 吹著吹著就停息
也知道每朵雲 飄著飄著就散去
But I believe, but I believe
因為我們 我們有愛情

我相信我和你 一定會有結局
任時光再侵襲 擁抱一樣堅定
這世界有太多 會消逝的美麗
但你是你 so I believe
(但你是你 所以我相信 so I believe)

就像是每條河 總會流到海裡去
你知道我的心 也只願意奔向你
我說愛你 就是愛你
這是真理 永遠別懷疑

真心會給人力氣 穿越過所有距離
帶領我們走進永遠裡 Ah~ ~ Ah~~ Ah~~

aching back. test tml. haven't studied yet. but still...

i must confess.

i had a weird dream this morning.

i dreamt i was somehow trying to snuggle on a bed... strangely with one of my guy friends who was already on the bed. *gasps* <-- strangely this reminded me of the 花样少年少女 plot wahaha... then i ask... can i sleep there? the guy said yes... next... he lied beside me with his shoulders close to mine, so i tried to turn my back on him so that i wun disturb his sleep... then he whispered into my ear in a deep voice... "why don't you love me?"

then i woke up.

problem is : it was so damn real that it's scary. and... it so happened that when i woke up it's valentine's day. lmao.

ok end of confession. back to the damned ee2002 notes. rawr.

why does it feel as though i just screwed up my life?

sighz. things that never get done, somehow things seem to go wrong... or totally different from the way i imagined them.

sighz.

i want my clone. -_-

how many times have i repeated this over the past few weeks. oh wait. only 4 weeks have passed, but it felt as though it was 4 years. met pansy this afternoon and we came to the same conclusion lolx.

tireds and a little frustrated with myself. my lack of time management is really getting to me. plus my lack of sleep... sighz. and the lack of money hahaha~ i'm ultra broke now ='( and i just realised i forgot to draw money today! shets. now i'm poor sleepy n... sadeds... =(

there was something that i wanted to talk about... but i can't find the words to express them. how pathetic my language skills are...

i will not commit the same mistake again.
有种的话，就不要让我再爱上你。
been a little out of my way these days... don't know why, but i kinda liked writing lyrics haha~ lousy ones though... a few of them are drafts in my blog, cos i'm not satisfied with them... so it's left to editing editing and further editing until i'm happy with them and i might post them around sometime... haha~ and i wonder when that'll be, considering how little time i have to sit down n mull over this kind of things...

sometimes i wonder if i give people the wrong impression. oh wait. i do. lolx... and i can't decide whether i wanna clear things up or stuff... sometimes it's just me thinking too much i suppose... ok let's take it that i'm always thinking too much... haha life's much easier if that's the case...

i wish that i can just focus on the things i see and stop thinking so much sometimes. it's quite a bother at times... and my imagination can actually be quite wild... some areas are better off left unexplored... haha~

loads of things waiting to be cleared : two tutorials for tomorrow, my lab report, typing email to prof for project, catching up 4 tutorials worth of material for the quiz next week plus my other 4 tutorials that i lagged*besides the 4 tutorials mentioned earlier* plus catching up on sleep and finding time to watch tv XD sighz. end of the day, i just wish for another clone. oh god. can't u just grant a simple wish of mine? *er not exactly simple but who cares lol*