Of Smiles and Sunshine

these days as i blog-surf ard pple who are same age as me, all girls, who just left jc last year and now struggling with uni life... i see entries talking about how much they missed their respective jc lives... talking about the good old times where they had... wishing they could turn back time...

as i read about these... some which are shared experiences... these left a smile on my face... but.

i realise i don't feel the same way as they do.

probably because there's nothing much for me to remember from the good old jc days. i admit they were fun... full of tears joy laughter. there were days of sunshine and storms. but perhaps it was due to those storms we no longer remember those bright shiny days?

or perhaps i'm the only one who became immune to all these kind of nostalgic feelings.

i know that we cannot turn back time. there's no turning back at all. there's no point in looking back, wishing that ur life was like before, wishing that things didn't have to change. because in the end u still have to face the cold hard reality that the past was gone forever. some argue that we always will have those memories hidden in the depths of our heart. ah, yes, good for u. perhaps mine is hidden so deep until i cannot see sense or feel it anymore, no more feelings of joy or hurt.

perhaps it's better this way.

i'm fine and happy with my current life. i know my family loves me and for the first time in my life, my relationship with my family members are starting to get better... i've also got a bunch of true friends whom i know will be there for me when i need them. *okies this sounds selfish lolz* perhaps it is because i don't see a point in trying to revert to the past, because i'm content with what i have now, that's y i don't seek to look back and think of the old days.

i'm sure those peeps whom i've browsed through their blogs have friends who care for them. don't dwell so much on the past. learn to move on, and pple around you will help u along.
perhaps this is the reason y i hate myself for being so indifferent to things.