just a quickie...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||| 26% Stability |||||||||||| 46% Orderliness |||||||||||| 50% Accommodation |||||||||||||| 56% Interdependence |||||||||||| 43% Intellectual |||||||||||| 43% Mystical |||||||||||| 50% Artistic |||||||||||||| 56% Religious |||||||||||| 50% Hedonism || 10% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||||||| 36% Adventurousness |||||| 30% Work ethic |||||||||||| 50% Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43% Conflict seeking || 10% Need to dominate |||||| 23% Romantic |||||||||||| 50% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 63% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50% Wealth |||||||||| 36% Dependency |||||||||||||| 56% Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality |||||||||||| 50% Sexuality |||||||||| 36% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Physical Fitness |||||||||||| 44% Histrionic |||||||||| 36% Paranoia |||||||||||| 50% Vanity |||||||||||| 50% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63% Female cliche |||||||||||| 50%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

for a while i've been wondering on what i should blog and what i should leave inside my heart... at one point in time i thought of even leaving this blog as it is and not blogging anymore... reason being... there are some thoughts that i want to express, but i do not want some people to see/hear about it... and besides, if readers do trace my previous entries *way back to last year* most of my entries were the boring details on my life...

and so i wonder... y do i blog about my life on my online blog for everyone to see? it's boring and i don't think pple out there will be interested. besides, maybe it's time i should have more privacy and not show my thoughts to the world out there.

or so i thought.

there had been so many things i wanted to express my views on... but these were mere passing thoughts... one moment i thought of blogging it, next moment i'm preoccupied with something else. then i eventually lose track of what i wanted to blog on originally and then i lost the "motivation" to blog for that day. this has happened countless times... i wonder if this is a sign that i'm growing up or that i'm busier and stuff...

i realise that i try to keep details of my current life out of my blog. ironically, some of my friends who do pass by this blog might be looking out to see whether i'm doing well presently... yet, i feel sort of... uneasy... these days... since i don't want those people i'm not willing to share my life with to know what i'm doing now... thus the "battle" within me... i hesitate about whether i want to blog about the things i like... the anime i am crazy about at the present moment, the games i'm going crazy over, or my rumblings on the weather and work and schooling... it's strange why things had to turn out this way...

originally this blog was meant to be a special place for me to vent my thoughts. my deepest thoughts. initally i kept quiet about it, and only 1 person knew about it... later i realised that there are those who found out about my little private space and secretly read all my entries but did not let me know they're aware of my blog. then i finally was aware of it when me and that person became good friends, and i changed the content of my blog so that i could let other people to read about it... and it became a more "open" blog. but now i want back my private space. some solutions would be... to write in a diary. but the reason why i did not keep the diary in the first place was because i was afraid of my family's prying eyes... though i know i could trust them... yet i feel a little uneasy about leaving my thoughts written down in pen and paper lying around in my house.

then again, similarly, now i'm starting to feel a little uneasy about leaving my thoughts lying around in this virtual world where not only my family could access, but the rest of the world. there are private entries which only i myself could access, but if i let all my entries become private then it seems weird for me to even own a blog. besides, there are alot of issues to tackle with... like for example, though my blog is a place for me to "publish" my inner thoughts, i still have to bear responsibility for the things i write here.

in addition, it is indeed quite time consuming to blog. though this is the same as writing diary entries, but for diary entries since it's that private, i feel ok if i just end anyway i do... for blogging i feel responsible for tying up the loose knots after discussing some issue and stuff and i do not like to end abruptly... even when i've lost the train of thought to type, but i still have to force the words out of myself to make things complete...

perhaps i'm now tired of doing things for the sake of doing...? who knows... haha...

maybe it's a sign that i no longer feel the rush of emotions flowing through me anymore... ever since two years ago...

jc life was fun and fulfilling... unlike uni life where we get so much free time to allocate ourselves... it's ok if we neglect our studies... no body pushes you these days in uni... i'm a little afraid that i might become too slack. just talk about studies... my grades are dropping and i'm a little scared. afraid i might not be able to continue taking the accelerated program.

ok sorry i digress.

back to the topic on blogging... i thought of changing my current blog to anime blog = meaning i blog about anime episodes instead of having my own thoughts and life posted online... but this idea always remained as an idea. the work involved is simply too great and seems to take a lot of time out of me... imagine typing one entry per episode per anime... i currently watch at least 5 ongoing anime series, plus i like to have anime marathon of the completed series... besides watching and reviewing, i have to take screenshots... omg the amount of work is... =S so that idea is put off until further notice...

the anime blog idea was so that i could still express my thoughts, except the things i talk about now are a little further from me... it's not exactly about my current life but about something other anime lovers could understand. perhaps it's just an alternative for me to avoid talking about myself. perhaps i just want to shut others from my world except those i feel comfortable with.











with that, i've run out of things to say for now... i shall return some time soon i hope... =)