Of Smiles and Sunshine

i had a sad dream.

but before that dream, i have to describe my mooncake tasting trip yesterday... was rather excited about it... cos my sis was complaining that mid autumn festival so near le but there's not a single mooncake in our house at all. so my mum decided on this mooncake tasting trip... so that we can eat as many samples as we liked without having to pay... economically this was a rational choice... but morally.... that's a different story.

but heck about the morality of this trip... we had a... rather good time... we went to taka at ard 1+ and started tasting all sorts of mooncakes... there were... hagen dazs ice cream mooncakes... *makes my mouth water* this cranberry fruit mooncake which i got hooked on.... and this mango mooncake that's made from pure mango *duhhz* but it tasted like the real fruit... wahaha... and of course the usual... green tea... custard... black seasame... yam... white lotus paste blah blah blah... eat until i got so sick of the sweet stuff...

and at the fair... everyone else there... mostly those older aunties *i almost called them obasan... hahaha* were like... rushing to the counters for samples... eating them like siao as though eating less they'll have less flesh on their body... then some pushing here and there for samples.... -_-

but i had fun at the trip... :P after being sick for so long... *been coughing as though i got tb for like 3 weeks* i finally got to eat ice cream!!! XD i think my sis was quite pissed at me cos i kept whining to her abt how i crave ice cream when i saw the venetia counter at the fair... and after my mum let me eat *of course i ownself pay wahaha* i continued pestering her to help me decide on the flavour i should eat... hahaha.. and stupid me asked the girl at the counter whether there are like... 3 or 4 flavour cup when she only has max of 2 flavours per cup... wahahaha... -_-

in the end i settled for rum & raisin and raspberry *i din know i had a thing for sour stuff... hehe* and was eating it happily as though i juz entered heaven... then went to rejoin my mum and sis at this stall with all the pickled vege... when... my mum accidentally brushed against this bottle near the edge of the table and the whole bottle juz crashed onto the floor... the stall attendant immediately came and started clearing up the mess... and a small group of pple gathered to watch *ahh all these kaypo pplez... so like human behaviour*

then my mum whispered to me *cos i was nearer to her* let's go...

i was quite... shocked bah.... oh well... i did thought of that... *guilty* budden i thought a better way to resolve this would be to claim responsibility for wad happened though this was an accident to pay for the broken object... economically that was a stupid action... obviously if u juz walked off no one would catch u in the act and demand that u pay... but if i did that i'll be quite bothered by it for the rest of the day... but then... my mum chose to walk off like that... 1st thought that came to my mind was... what sort of example is she setting us? 2nd... should i go back and pay for the broken bottle of pickled vege? all these felt so trival... but i was quite bothered for the whole day though i probably wasn't aware...

i accidentally voiced this out to my sis abt the 1st thought i had... i admit it wasn't a nice thought... then my sis stared at me and juz kept quiet for like the rest of 1 quarter of the trip... then my mum went to this other stall and pissed the stall attendant off by insisting that she wanna buy 1 snow skin mooncake instead of the stall selling minimum 2 snow skin mooncakes... *oh well... actually it's cos of me... i wanted to eat the snow skin black seasame mooncake... =X* and the two of them argued until i got a bit frustrated... if i were her i'll have given in and bought another snow skin mooncake to avoid the argument... but my mum insisted that our house i was the only one who ate snow skin mooncake... *hey i think the others would eat oso lor only that u're imposing this hidden rule on them* and the stall attendant said something along that line too... haha...

in the end the transaction ended quite unhappily with my mum buying the solo black seasame mooncake and the stall attendent juz put the mooncake on a uncovered plastic holder and put it in the plastic bag... i wondered if the stalls could be a little more flexible... and i wondered if it'll be better to have avoided the argument by simply purchasing 2 mooncakes... haiz... but nevertherless i got more upset at my mum...

then we went for toilet break.. *or at least my mum did* then me and my sis *she hasn't spoken a thing since i bugged her abt ice cream and gave the comment abt my mum* both of us went to this shop which sells loads of jap stuff... clothes... soft toys... and sunglasses... she picked up one and put it on... and i commented she looked like chanel from jue dui superstar... and then she commented... get it for me lor... hahaha...

then my mum and sis went home while i went toa payoh for tuition...








and now... onto my dream... i feel somehow it had to do with my day... the unhappiness towards my mum... the solitaire mystery book i read before i slept... my life as a uni student... blah blah blah...

i think i dreamt about the future... not that i was aware in the dream itself... i dreamt that... it was national day... at first i was in shianchi's house... chatting happily with her... i dreamt i had a small red car... those lao pok kind... i knew how to drive but i sux at it... and kelvin who had once hitched a ride on the car commented how lousy my driving was... wahahaha!!!

and the most important thing... my mum was no longer around...

instead... perhaps my mum had died... then my dad stopped working... started drinking... hated all women in the world until he met this girl who somehow managed to calm him down and make him smile.. yes he remarried again... but died a few years later... this new stepmum... i couldn't say she's a great woman --- in fact she was so horrible that she threw me my sis and my brother out of the house straight after my dad left this world... yeap... so we were homeless... and i had my small little red car...

i was at this arcade play ddr alone... i placed my wallet, and handphone on the machine and started playing... when this indian walking by all of a sudden grabbed my wallet! i immediately stopped playing and ran after the indian... i shouted on the top of my voice to let those around us hear that he took my wallet and demanded he return it to me... he said what? what wallet? that's my wallet... and i was like... ha... if it's ur wallet take it out and show everyone wad's inside... and he somehow switched my wallet in his hand with his own wallet... as though it's some magic trick... and everyone looked at me as though i was some crazy girl who was homeless and desperate for money... and so i lost my wallet with about 80 bucks my ezlink and my ic...

how could the world be this unfair? i thought silently to myself... i didn't cry then... but probably cos it was only a dream... if it really happened to me in real life i would have juz broke down and cried...

then i went back to my car... met up with my bro and sis and we went to visit our step mum's home... i had one more step sister... she was about 2 years younger than my brother if i didn't remember wrongly... i had something to tell her from uni... from the uni professors and stuff... so the three of us stood outside the house...waiting for her to reach home... we sat on the stairs outside the house... and started cooking maggie noodles to eat... it didn't occur to me then... but now that i think of it... y did things turn out that way? it seemed so... pitiful... national day... festival leh... supposed to be happy day and yet we were so pitiful no home to return to...

and so my step sis returned and once she saw the three of us at the door she gasped and immediately shooed us away while she opened the door and went in and shut the door without letting us in... i protested and said i had something to tell her from our uni... and she said... well u can always call my house... she was being difficult in my opinion cos i had already arrived at her house i juz wanted to talk to her to deliver a message and there she was telling me to call her house when i was juz outside... wad did me and my siblings do to deserve such hatred from her? and from our step mum? i had no idea...

but i didn't give up... so i started shouting outside the door.. telling her wad happened at lectures... the interesting interesting bits of things which got her interested... and she surprisingly... opened the door to ask for what happened next... and then she blushed... and said quietly... alright come in but dun let my mum know i let u in... i entered and finished my business there with her... and thought... perhaps the reason y our step sis din let us in was cos our step mum kept indoctrinating her about hate towards us... never let us into their house... stuff like that... while she personally didn't really agree... but she had to comply cos our step mum was her real mum...

and then i wondered y issit that my dad could fall in love with such a horrible woman... a woman that's horrible to his kids...

and all of a sudden my handphone rang... it's the mum of my tutee whom i had stood outside the door of their house for 1 hour when i juz gave up and left... she called up to tell me that she wanted to cancel yesterday's tuition cos her daughter was home late... and she had the nerve to call me now when i waited 1 hour outside the door? wad's the point of calling then. maybe she's scared i'll charge her for the lesson yesterday?

i got skeptical at all the people in my dreamworld. y are all the people there so self centered? i juz couldn't believe it...

and with that... i drove our little red car out of the carpark near my step mum's house to decide where me and my siblings should spend for the rest of the holiday...













and then i woke up and realised that my life in reality was so much better than life in my dream... that my mum was so nice to me despite all the little trival things i disagree with her now... and i silently pray that what happened in the dream was not a foresight of what's going to happen in the future... it's a scary dream alright... but i couldn't believe i could dream of something so detailed like that... i could probably write a book about this single dream itself... haha.... n considering i dream every night by the end of my life i'll probably have written more than 5000 books from my dreams each night... lolz!

and on a side note... wow this entry took me 1 hour to type.. -_- and so i have 1 less hour to cheong for my tutorials... -_- back to reality, sotongz... -_-