Music of the Night

Night time sharpens
heightens each sensation...
Darkness wakes
and stirs imagination
Silently the senses
abandon their defences
Helpless to resist
the notes I write
For I compose
the music of the night...

Slowly, gently
night unfurls its splendour.
Grasp it, sense it -
tremulous and tender
Hearing is believing
music is deceiving
Hard as lightning
soft as candlelight
dare you trust
the music of the night...

Close your eyes
for your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth
isn't what you want to see.
In the dark
it is easy to pretend
that the truth
is what it ought to be.

Softly, deftly
music shall caress you...
Hear it, feel it
secretly possess you...

Open up your mind
let your fantasies unwind
in this darkness which
you know you cannot fight -
the darkness of
the music of the night...

Close your eyes
start a journey through a
strange new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world
you knew before!

Close your eyes
and let music set you free...
Only then
can you belong to me...

Floating, falling
sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation...

Let the dream begin
let your darker side
give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of
the music of the night...

You alone
can make my song take flight -
help me make
the music of the night...

~ music of the night ~

tonite.. is an extremely reflective night for me...

had OT todae... managed to tom pang ching's car... *brand new white car wif red seats! lolz!* was super duper happy cos i was gossipping wif teena earlier abt trying to get to tom pang his car... and i actually achieved my task! lolz~ his car's darn cool... feels as though i'm sitting in a sports car... nice sound system... hehez~

feel a little bad larz... cos i'm quite mean to him... hahaz~ so maybe cos the sake of him being nice to me todae... i shall be a little nicer towards him... ha~ jokings~ :P

next... after ching dropped me off at jurong east mrt station... made a beeline to find pansy at her cookie shop... helped to arrange some of the cookies for baking... and chatted wif her.. realised how 幸福 i am cos i dun have to worry so much abt uni school fees... haiz~

thinking of my uni application... wondering which uni i should go to next... even up till now... though i thought i've made up my mind... somehow there's something nudging me at the back of my mind... as though as it's asking me to reconsider this whole thing again...

maybe i haven't been too serious abt thinking this whole issue... been trying to follow down the easy path... to follow my parent's wishes... but then... is this wad i really want?

even now... after having so much time to think through... i still dun really have the answer...

someone once said to me... that he's envious that i already know wad i have in mind with regards to my future... now... i actually feel a little 惭愧 cos... hehez... u're wrong abt me... lolz!

feeling slightly lucky now... cos... i managed to tom pang ching's car... *sniggers* plus i dun have to worry as much abt my uni school fees as pansy does... *sighz* and.... maybe.. like wad pansy said... there's no tsunami in singapore.. lolz~















have u ever thought abt... blog ethics? how true are the things u type on ur blog?

y are u even blogging?

issit a channel for u to vent out ur emotions?

or issit juz a channel for u to get some pity from the rest of the world?

how true...or... how much should one believe when they read the things on your blog?

the naive me believed the things pple wrote on the blogs wholesale... and now.. i realised... how terribly gullible i am... hahaz~

i guess... pple have their own freedom... whether they wanna scold the rest of the world how life is so horrible and stuff... and even as readers sometimes u juz feel like telling them to shaddup... but.. oh well... it's still their blog... if u're unhappy u can juz leave their blogs alone.. i guess.. lolz~

oh well.. this reminds me of how i closed my first od... lolz~















uni uni uni... application closes in... say... 4 more days time... and i still haven't paid my $10 bucks to ntu... sians... -_- there goes my ten bucks... of hard earned money... =X *well... not exactly mine... cos it's my dad writing the cheque.. but still... can still feel the pain.. lolz~*

i think i've said this b4... ever since i've started work... i've come to realise how hard it is to earn money... and... i'm starting to appreciate the little wealth i have now.. hahaz~

finally truly understand the importance to saving up le... actually... now i'm a little scared that i dun have enuff money to support my own living expenditure... cos i know that i'm in no position to pay for my full uni fees... so the most i can do is to use my own money to survive out there... now earning abt 1000+ monthly bah... but somehow it seems like the agent cheated me on my $$... *sobz~* but aniwae... some money is better than no money.. hahaz... so i better not complain b4 pple like pansy... weijie.... and the rest of the army guys start attacking me wif stones.. grenades... wadeva... hahaz~
















i wonder wad holds in store for me tml... tuition again wif my little devil *winkz to sheila* more stock taking... more blue blacks on my knees blah blah blah... paper cuts on my hand... *gosh.. i sound like i'm torturing myself rather than working.. lolz!* oh well... let's juz hope that everything will be well... =) and pray that maybe ching will be nice enuff to tom pang me again... lolz!

从你眼里。。。我就猜得出你想问什么。。。

知道你想问的是我不想回答的问题。

问我可不可以问。

本想逃避。。。但又觉得对你不公平。














而我也明白你所作的一切。甚至能猜得到你心里想的是什么。。。

就是不知道你是否明白我心里在想什么。

不知道你说过的: "我一眼便看得出你心里在想什么。" 是否是真。

如果你真的明白。。。如果你知道其实我知道你现在所做的事情。。。你是否还会这么做？














这是一种接受吗？

放弃？

就算承认了自己的短处，就算接受了自己有短处的残酷事实。。。

说什么放弃是那么容易的事。。。其实你自己也从没放弃过。。。

不是每个人都能做到拿得起放得下的。

因为这是人的弱点。。。就算明白，还是会犯同样的错。

或许。。。大家都一样吧。

做人真可悲。。。

是否有想过。。。醉到底是什么滋味？

原来。。。酒是那么苦。。。有那么难喝。。。

但为什么又有那么多人可以忍受那种苦，还喝得津津有味？















我是否现在徘徊在醉与不醉之间？




请你让我醉吧。。。
因为。。。只有醉，我才能哭出来。




原来。。。从头到尾。。。她在你心目中还是最重要的。
原来。。。一切只是一场美丽的梦。
原来。。。我从头到尾在你心里也没有什么分量。




有一点后悔。。。为什么没有喝多一点。。。虽然听古人说。。。喝酒消愁愁更愁。。。

或许。。。也只有醉，才能使自己忘我。。。让自己的面具脱落。。。做真正的自己。。。不再勉强，不再硬撑。。。

想哭就哭，想笑就笑。













到底我们活在这个世界有何意义？

意义是由自己所定，但当一个人发现自己的意义原来根本不成立，失去了活着的意义。。。到底。。。为什么他还会死死咬住生命，逼自己活下去？











开心？快乐？悲伤？愤怒？这些情绪。。。似乎。。。已经从我的词典消失。

只是呆呆地。。。望着面前的荧光幕。。。

这是希望事情发生在自己身上？就这样被动。。。对周遭无动于衷。。。直到再也无法沉默，直到有一天当初所感受到的情绪一一重现？

















够了。

如果一个人能不用有那么多顾虑，想做什么就做，想走就走。。。那该多好。。。

things running through my mind for the past week...
black leather wallet
jay chou
basketball
blue shirt with white strip in the middle
soft cuddly teddy bear
naruto poster
david tao
lord of the rings
co
volleyball
camera phone
msn
s.h.e
orange flip flops
oldies
naruto figurines
an abandoned diary
an unfinished cross stitch
and...
the warm liquid trickling down within my heart
which is... essentially... nothing. ha~
unless u read beneath the surface.
todae's a super tiring day for me... as u can probably already sense from my entry... had 6 hours of sleep but still it wasn't enough... slept slightly more than the day b4... but ended up being more tired than yesterday... lolz~ darn ironic siaz...

round 1 of stock taking was finally... well.. sorta done... *thank god.* meaning... no OT on sat and sun! *applause pls* but still my mind juz went giddy from all the filing i had to pia finish cos i juz din bother abt them for like.. the past week? lolz~

then it's tuition... it was darn furnie todae... benedict kept complaining he's itchy all over, so i told him to take a quick bath... *now now, where got such a good tutor like me? ha~* and after he bathe, den he anyhow comb his hair... so they're standing up... and so naughty me took pics using my cam phone... make him wear his sunglasses... spike up his hair.. blah blah blah... *gosh, i dun sound like i'm giving tuition, am i? hahaz~*

next up, teach him do chinese again... -_- almost vomit blood again... cos he try to 造句 but the sentences turn out darn furnies... -_- jialats... me too tired can't remember the exact sentences le... hahaz.. but i sure had fun laffing at the furnie stuff he said... up till the point.. i can't laff anymore... lolz~ sometimes he really put me on my wit's ends... -_-

now finally back home... too tired to do anything else... haven't eaten dinner, haven't bathe... yucks. haiz~ lucky tml is hol, or else i sure mati le. :P

想了又想，猜了又猜。。。 但最终。。。我还是无法才穿你的心思，而你却把我看得那么透彻。。。
你到底要跟世上的人说多少谎言？
你到底要伤我到几时？
难道你从头到尾都没说过一句真心话？
难道你想让我把爱变成恨？
伤也伤，痛也痛。。。但到了最终，我还是无法忘记我是多么爱你。
busy day for me... had stock taking again... *sians*

stupid me ar... yesterday for lunch.. cos all the stuff there not nice liddat... so bo bian, decide to eat muslim food... mee siam... it was so darn hot! even when i din pour in the sauce and stuff... after i ate like 3 gulps of the mee siam i was already on fire le... gulp down half a bottle of water... *goes to show wad a lousy eater of spicy food i am... ha~* but somehow i managed to finish the whole packet of mee siam... *cos... muz 想到非洲的小孩。。。他们没东西吃。。。haiz~* but this juz became the start of my... erms.. troubles.. hahaz...

so this morning i woke up at ard 5+... supposedly wake up at 6.40am.... den cannot go back to sleep... stomach feeling furnies... body sweating all over... -_- *maybe weather hot, i thought...* so juz closed my eyes all da way until 6.40... wake up go wash up... den started having diarrhoea... -_-

wanted to take leave todae... budden... hahaz... who ask the naughty me... two weeks ago... took full day leave on friday saying i got diarrhoea when actually i wanted to 逃班... hahaz~ so now... especially wif the stock taking thingy... din dare to take leave... *sobz* so went for work wif an upset stomach... whole morning look super siandeds... den my collegues were laffing at me cos i have diarrhoea like every once a few weeks... -_- but oh well... hahaz~

went toilet like dunno how many times le... after much reluctance ate some medicine le... finally could proceed wif stock taking... now stock taking is in the hardest stages le... need to stock take items on the racks which are like ultra darn heavy... stupid me once again made a stupid blunder... i tried to move this box of gears from the shelf... ended up toppling it... and the oil in the gear set juz... leak from the cardboard box... leak onto the floor... onto my hand... onto my windbreaker!!! -_- wah... super sway... and still muz clear up the mess... siandeds... -_-

and my stupid collegue ching.... he got loads of stuff cannot finish or dun wanna do den last time used to dump to me... so now i a bit the bad lar... complain to him that i dun wanna come back on sat and sun for stock taking *cos if i din finish then they all have to come back aniwae...* so i ask him to help me wif stock taking mah... den he say... "aiyah! i very busy ar! very tired ar! everyday tired!" -_-


and this really reminded me of someone...


okies.. enuff of work stuff le... after work *which i somehow managed to tahan* went for tuition... and benedict was... well... quite furnies.. lolz~ try to teach him chinese... den we came across this 造句-- 血汗... and his 造句 was... "他流了很多血汗，真肮脏！"

and i was like... er... er... -_-'''

and i was such a lousy tutor... -_- can't even decide whether it's singular or plural for this sentence... neither jon nor albert ____ gone to the zoo yet... den when my student and my brother told me it's plural den i tot.. maybe it's plural.. but now when i come home to check wif kelvin and jiahong and blah blah blah.... it seems that it's singular leh... super mega jialats! -_- wad if i tell my student the wrong thing again? AGAIN?? -_-

geez... -_-






the only thing i can do now is to chase away all sorrow wif my smile, and all the tears wif my laughter...

wad about you?

let's hope tomolo will be a better day... =)

heard this new 戴佩妮 song on 933 a few days ago... juz wanna post this song lyrics here... hehez~

爱疯了
歌手:戴佩妮 专辑:爱疯了

不敢问 却一直想问 你心里藏着什么人
不敢猜 却一直想猜 若回去有没有可能

我不够完整 你给的从来不够完整
连一个语气都无法确认 这种缺乏是什么象征

不开灯 我不要开灯 我身边容不下别的人
不锁门 我不要锁门 你回来是一种可能

我那么的认真 去思考你对我的认真
是多么伤害你 结果始终是疑问

我爱疯了 我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任 放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
我不管了 我不管这伤口能不能愈合
选择了你也许是错的人 选择了包容你的不安分

我尊重我的选择
我想我疯了

不开灯 我不要开灯 我身边容不下别的人
不锁门 我不要锁门 你回来是一种可能

我那么的认真 去思考你对我的认真
或许是多么伤害人 而结论始终是疑问

我爱疯了 我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任 放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
我不管了 我不管这伤口能不能愈合
选择了你也许是错的人 选择包容了你的不安分

请尊重我的选择
我想我疯了

温柔。。。是不是一个弱点？

就拿青草来做个例子吧。。。在人的眼里，它是那么不起眼。。。人人都在它身上蹂躏。。。

难道一个人的温柔，就会让周围的人看不起，并把他当草一样的蹂躏？

为什么要温柔？因为不想让别人受伤，便对大家温柔对待。。。但是就因为这样，大家便利用他的温柔，来达到他们自己的目的。。。温柔只会让一个人更容易受伤。。。让别人伤害他。。。

温柔的对待他人，是希望他人也能温柔地对待他。。。但往往。。。这或许只是个天真的想法吧。。。

草。。。就是那么的温柔。。。就算被天底下的人蹂躏，也从没抱怨。。。

或许。。。就是因为它的温柔，所以它根本没有抱怨的念头。。。 也没有办法向世人抱怨他们对自己的虐待。。。

不知道为什么。。。我突然很欣赏草在面对这些人的蹂躏所表现的勇气和坚韧的毅力。。。

如果突然刮一场大风，第一个倒下的，是周围的大树，而不是那毫不起眼的草。。。树虽然雄伟，但最终无法像草一样的屹立不倒。。。
















okies... enuff of grass talk...

having a headache now... was out wif my family to suntec... had loads of fun shopping! XD bought loads of nice food for dinner.. =) it felt nice being out wif my mum and sis... cos... well... the three of us were walking in a huge crowd... and stupid 斯文 me din wanna squeeze my way through... being too polite to everybody le... so in the end when my mum and sis squeezed their way through le... i was still stuck in the crowd... den my mum scolded me... so 斯文 for wad? den she held my hand and guided me through the place for the rest of the day... hahaz~

it felt... comforting...

furnies hor? i mean... i'm the elder sis... supposed to take care of other pple.. but there i was being taken care of by my mum and my younger sis *oh well... my sis din take care of me exactly.... but.. hahaz~ dunno larz...*

finally i got to unwind a little this weekend... this week was horrible for me.. wif OT everyday... -_- finally i buay tahan yesterday... asked to be excused from OT... muahahahaz! XD

oh well... if they din let me not go for OT.. i guess i'll probably quit my job... lolz~

aniwae... long time no update le... so... juz to say... yar yar... i'm still alive... though barely... lolz~

and i can't imagine how i will be next week... wif all the OT and probably wif work on sat and sun... -_- geez... wish me luck that i wun die next week! lolz~

for the first time in my entire life.... i've.... FINALLY... got to do OT... hahaz... *applause pls*

oh well... nth much to OT larz... juz that i worked one more extra hour... that's all... lolz~ dunno whether i actually look forward to it... i guess i was juz... bored stiff at home... can't wait to get myself more attatched to work... -_- becoming a workaholic, i guess... ha~

after OT... the unbashful me simply tom pang teena's hubby's pickup all the way to boon lay mrt... *gosh. i feel that i'm such an impolite young lady.. -_-* and at boon lay mrt... i met... PAULINE!!! lolz~ mega surprise... oh well.. not surprising either... cos she always does OT... lolz~

but still... really really happy to see her.. =) din chat much... she juz asked me wad i'm working as now... and i only managed to tell her a little... den we had to part cos we reached the station, den i need to post letters... -_-

after that... went to west mall and dropped by pansy's cookie shop... got to know ling ling better *she's pansy's boss...* a really nice person to chat wif! and i'm really surprised that she took triple e at ntu! *that's wad i plan to study next... but initially at nus... =X* after chatting wif her... i've have a slight change in opinion towards ntu... no idea why, but i tot it'll be better if i go nus to study... ha~ there goes the lack of insight on my part... lolz~

stayed at her shop for abt one and a half hour... busily pretending that i'm one of the shop tenders at the cookie shop... ha! but of course me the poser fail lar... dun really know how to promote the cookies.. hehez... in the end kanna treat by ling ling and pansy... nice nice chiffon cake! XD *feel like such a pig... lolz~*

chatted wif pansy a little.. chatting wif her always cheered me up... =)













now i've attained a new level of fatigue... YESH! i've not slept properly for three days! which is extremely annoying.. cos when i'm supposed to wake up at 640, i wake up at 520... -_- when i slept at 12 the night b4... -_- so sooner or later if my collegues see a panda reporting for work they'll know who/which that is... lolz~

oh well... surprisingly... though i feel extremely tired... i managed to chat a little wif my mum this morning without quarrelling with her *that's wad usually happens when i'm extremely tired and dun feel like getting up from bed most of the time* it feels... strangely comforting... though uncomfortable for me to tell her my troubles... cos i simply hide all my problems from my family... but strangely she could sense it... i dunno wad to say...

i guess... we all have to learn to grow... everybody is tired... nobody likes to get up early in the morning to work... but somehow... we still go for work almost everyday... putting me aside... wad abt those who have to take care of their kids? wun they be more tired than me? but.. does this stop them from fulfilling their duties as a parent? or as a responsible worker?

when u shun away from responsibilities and stuff, saying ur tired... pple will understand it once, twice or even thrice... but when u use this reason too often, it becomes sorta an excuse for u to get away from the things u're oblidged to do...

juz like... how i can't say i don't want to wash the dishes cos i'm tired...

the immature me used to rely on my parents to do all the stuff for me... come to think of it i feel quite ashamed... like.. making my bed... even when i was in jc2.. -_- good heavens. -_- such a simple task and i don't do my task, saying that i wanna grab more sleep, very tireds, no time... blah blah blah.

but of course... u can make time for such tasks IF u had the intention of doing so.

and of course... if u NEVER had the intention to do so, u'll never have the time to do these...













oh well... that's juz the tired sotong rumbling... =X

now i'm typing this for a second time cos of a stupid error on my browser... -_-




now i finally understand y women can be so so vain...

take jasmine, the HR personnel from my current company, for eg. she's married with two kids, and ard 30+... but.. she dresses like a 20+ youngster with those ultra short mini skirts, flashy shirts... as though she's going shopping along orchard road instead of going to work... moreover... she tries to eat as fast as she could during almost every lunch break so that she can go to the toilet and apply her facial products...

my first impression of her was... gosh. it's not that u're single and stuff... y bother so much with your looks?

but... i guess... i was pretty wrong.. hahaz~

during one of their lunch time conversations *which i kept my mouth shut and listened in while eating* the girls at my company were sharing their experience... of how men who love someone cos of their personality, and not the girl's looks AT ALL are extremely rare... like one in a million... oh wait.. make that one in a billion... hahaz~

heyz guys, dun start throwing stones at me... i mean... it's quite true, especially when the society judge someone from their looks most of the time...









and most ironically... after hearing their conversation... my view of jasmine took a 180degree change... ha~










speaking of dress sense... i've got a major problem... i realised ever since the day i changed comapny that.... i've got no clothes to wear to work... cos... my wardrobe only has jeans, jeans and more jeans.. -_- so after much consideration... i've finally decided that... i shall... somehow... make a move towards wearing more skirts... -_-

er... those guys who are close to me will probably know how much i hate wearing skirts.. ha~ so... i suppose this is good news to... well.. those guys... ha~

the thing is... before i start filling my wardrobe with skirts for work... i've still got... virtually nth to wear to work. unless i decide to wear my hc uni to work... ha! *see stones thrown towards myself* oh well... so now... kelvin ar... dun come and complain to me that guys have problem trying to find clothes to wear... cos... now... me with limited clothing for work... has to PLAN wad to wear the next day every night... -_- gosh. i din know i'll become so so desperate... -_-











oh well.. somehow i've got a feeling that... at the end of my 2-4 mths here at mazak *that's my current company* i'll somehow = transform = into a bimbo... ha~

or maybe it's part of growing up... -_-













okok.... enuff of the superficial skirt talk... let's move on to wad happened to me todae... couldn't sleep again... smsed kelvin "for help" and ended up waking him up... den later was late for my ktv date with kelvin, fiona and jasmine.... -_- it's like my second time, breaking my new year resolution.. nononono!!! cannot liddat le! =S

aniwae... sang until 3... in the middle, sometime ard 2, all of a sudden the tv screen went blank... but the audio continued singing... we went out to ask the personnel to help us... but she say... the screen went blank cos our time's over... -_- then cos jasmine was on the phone, outside the room, so the three of us decided to stay in the room, and then continue singing without the mtv... lolz~ sing until quite shuang... until.. that same personnel walked into our room at ard 2.40, fumbled with the tv, and said... ur can sing all the way to 3... WAH!!! LUCKY WE NEVER WALK OFF EARLY LEH! or else cannot sing more... and somemore we never finish singing all the david tao, lin jun jie, or zhang xue you songs.. lolz~ we all the way pia jay chou songs.. lolz! tried to sing all the songs available there... lolz~

after our jay chou craze... jasmine went home to prepare for her tuition session later in the day... den me kelvin and fiona went to ps walk walk... to try help kelvin decide wad to get for his friend... after much discussion, we still couldn't come to a conclusion... den we left ps... fiona went off first to meet up with her mum... den left me and kelvin rotting our time away at the arcade... lolz!

so sad!!! i couldn't finish the 5 stages of ddr... *sobz~* and we got stuck at the photohunt! *sobz* and the blind 象棋 we kept losing... ='( and on top of that... in our bid to complete the games... all our money juz... *fly away... 不管留下多少眼泪...* -_-













aniwae... i really wanna thank my kor... for accompanying me whenever i need someone beside me... to hear me rumble and rant about stuff... and for caring for me... i dunno wad to say... i dunno how to repay ur kindness... and... not forgetting randy... it was really sweet of u to call me late at night two nights ago... despite u being so busy and tired and stuff... really appreciate that... =) so... thankx guys... =)

it is not right for others to suffer cos u're suffering.

at least, that's how i feel now.

den... y issit that i dun do wad i preach?




had another sleepless night... juz... lie down on my bed... trying to get to sleep... morning came... and i finally gave up at 6... woke kelvin up... sorry... =X



no idea wad to do now... finished watching all my anime le... might be going out laters... still... dunno yet..



somehow.. i wish i had sleeping pills.. =X

queen of swords

Queen of Swords

The Queen of Swords was traditionally known as the widow, crone, or divorcee, the woman "no man would have." Nowadays we see her as a model of self-sufficiency, independence, and high intellect. She often has extremely high standards due to her subtle sensitivities, which can be perceived by those around her as being critical and hard to please. Her true motive is to refine the world, to upgrade people's understanding so everyone can have the space they need to individuate, to become truly themselves. She is not interested in conforming, which may be why she has a reputation for "being difficult." She is too intelligent to be confined to the role of housewife or nursemaid, although she is perfectly competent in those areas when she wants to be. She chooses her associations, and her aloneness, to serve her own agenda, and is seldom caught up in dependency relationships, at least not for long. Her critical intelligence is not always comfortable to be around, but she can be counted upon to see through superficialities and put her finger on the truth of the situation.

reason

do we need a reason for wadeva we do?

do we need a reason to simply be there?







and... even if u really have a reason... what if... the odds... are simply against you? would u have the strength to continue believing in your cause, to keep on going?







the stubborn me says... yes...

but the weary me says... no...



what an irony... ha~







就算累了，休息后能继续走





will the day when i'm finally no longer tired ever come?

insomnia strikes back again.

yes. insomnia strikes back again. woohoo~

i'm really tired... i really am.. but somehow i juz can't go to sleep... =X

all i know is that.. throughout the night... my mind kept singing songs... kept thinking abt... loads of things...







i juz... wanna thank... kelvin... and randy... for caring so much for me though i din do anything much for them... guess... this is called... true friends who really care about me... =)




i juz feel like a walking zombie now... so early in the morning, no one to talk to...

自己的心，也不懂飞到哪里了。

the future seems bleak. and there's no idea how i'll go on...




就算伤害，也还是会甘心地承受吗？
就算累了，也不会就此停止吗？
就算痛了，也不会寻解脱吗？



突然间，我找不到我的答案。

i once again realised... how everybody wears masks on this world... even probably to those u're the closest to...

it's to defend yourself, u say... everybody has to wear a mask to protect themselves...

but... would u take off your mask to... let's say... one person at all?




probably.... the flaw in me is that i've been wearing too thin a mask... letting pple peel my layers of mask too easily.. showing them my true self too easily... trusting them too easily... and letting them hurt me easily...




someone asked me... y issit that your blog sounds so depressing? i guess... my blog is a place where i try to remove most of my layers of mask... to show my true self... but now, i guess "in an attempt to protect myself" maybe i should revise my concept of how i want my blog to be like.. ha~










todae's my brother's bdae... happy birthday kaijun... though i only got u a cake as bdae present... hope it's still okies for u.. hehez~

furnie thing is that... the main character isn't home for dinner yet.. =X







okies... b4 i write this... and hope no one will come hum tam me cos of wad i really feel... juz wanna say... dun blame me for wad i really feel...

the truth is that.. todae i went to get my results... got good results... *not going to show them off online* but... somehow i wasn't happy... *sees pple throwing stones at me* no idea why oso...

called home to report to my mum my results... guess wad's her first reaction after hearing my report of my results? "你能上大学吗？" and i was like... -_-'''

of course i can go uni lar... so.. that cleaner uncle.. juz u wait.. hmph! =Pp

geez.. i guess i no longer make sense... hahaz~

shall go eat dinner le... =X

juz for fun...

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?