Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)

When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we've had our fun
Will we make a mark this time
Will we always say we tried

Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now everybody scream your heart out

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now I'm set
Will we make a mark this time
Will we always say we tried

Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now everybody scream your heart out

Standing on the rooftops
Wait until the ball drops
This is all we got now
Scream until your heart stops
Never gonna regret
Watching every sunset
Listen to your heart beat
All the love that we felt

Standing on the rooftops
Wait until the ball drops
This is all we got now
Scream until your heart stops
Never gonna regret
Watching every sunset
Listen to your heart beat
All the love that we felt

Scream your heart out
Scream your heart out
Scream your heart out
Scream your heart out

Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now everybody scream your

The Truth Is Like A Lie

Lyrics & Music: Angela Aki

I still make the coffee for two
At the table, I still set a place for you
Just in case you come home, I always keep
The light on even while I sleep

Every time the telephone rings
I think it's you and suddenly my heart starts to sing
But your sweet voice is only a memory
Fragments of a fading melody

How am I supposed to carry on
When the road in front of me is gone
How can I believe this really is goodbye
How... when the truth is like a lie

Constantly living yesterday
That is why I am slowly dying here today
Holding onto time framed in photographs
Frozen moments caught between the glass

How am I supposed to carry on
When the road in front of me is gone
How can I believe this really is goodbye
How... when the truth is like a lie

Tell me how am I supposed to carry on
When the road in front of me is gone
How can I believe this really is goodbye
When the truth is just like a lie

Tell me how am I supposed to carry on
When the road in front of me is gone
How can I believe this really is goodbye
How... how... how... when the truth is like a lie

On the verge of tears

... when I was all alone late into the night and I failed to swat a huge cockroach in the kitchen.

Pain shall be my friend

... as I quote one of my friend, Edwin (whom I don't think would ever see this)...

自古以来，伟大的艺术家几乎都经历了重重困难，人生跌到谷底后，“死”而复生，就变得更坚强，创造出令众人赞赏的作品。令我难过的事，我也不是没经历过，何必为了它而就倒下？为了这种事情就自暴自弃，那不是太笨了吗？

我要将悲愤化为力量。生气时就将怒气放到更有意义的地方去。为了你生气。。。实在不值得。



我恨你。大家在一起这么久，那么亲，你竟然觉得我说的做的都是歪理。你应该不是故意的，但这才是你的心声吧！难怪跟你说的话你一点都没听进去。你根本就不把我当一回事。真可笑。你前一阵子还希望我能向你述说心事，既然都把我说的话当歪理，那还问来干嘛。

我受够了。

有好几次都想逃走。好几次想翻脸算了。反正没有我你应该过得更快活。没有你我也会更快乐吧。你说的，叫我遵守，你自己都没照办。要人家尊敬你？对不起，我做不到。

真想毁了你所创造的这个世界。

现在，就算你在我面前，想尽办法地想切入我的世界，对不起。我将伫立高高的围墙，不会再让你“无心伤害”。

我。。。会让我的心变得更坚强。

Europa

This song reminds me once again, that you don't need words to express feelings.

I feel like I've fallen in love with music again...

Incoherence

I think my writing skills really... suck.

My Precious

I don't know Korean but I've been intoxicated by this song~~~ Nyaaaa~~~

I don't know how close the translation is to the actual lyrics, so please forgive me if it's weird~ I just lifted it off some other website haha!





sujub-eun geu sogsag-im seumyeodeuneun gwisga-e
soboghage ssah-yeoganeun ulideul-ui iyagi
seololeul balabomyeo sal-aganeun
cham eoliseoggo yeppeun moseubdeul

tabagtabag geol-eoganeun najimaghan golmoggil
teum sailo bichwooneun hanmogeum-ui haes-salcheoleom
mueosjocha al su eobsdeon na-ege
jag-eun kkumhanaleul sim-eojuneun neo

My Precious(My Precious)
My Precious(My Precious)

gasigat-assdeon gieogdeul-i
heunjeogdo eobs-i salajilmankeum
ttatteushage

My Precious(My Precious)
My Precious(My Precious)

gasigat-assdeon gieogdeul-i
heunjag-eun hangeol-eumjocha sojunghi
ganjighage doel geosman gat-eun
ileon seolleim

gibunjoh-eun balam-e seuchineun osgis wilo
buseojineun neoui nunbich duson-eul moa dam-eumyeo
cheol-eobs-i geujeo sunsuhaessdeon naldeul-i
nae gaseum-wilo jeonhaejyeo onda

yunanhi ganjeolhaessdeon ilh-eobeolin nae balaemdeul
meomusmeomus chueog-ida hansumjisgo dol-aseomyeo
honjaseoman namgyeojil geos gat-assdeon
naui duson-eul kkog jab-ajudeon neo

My Precious(My Precious)
My Precious(My Precious)

buseojilgeosman gatdeon gaseum-eul
mal-eobs-i sseudadeum-eo jwossdeon neoui songil

My Precious(My Precious)
My Precious(My Precious)

neoman gyeot-e issdamyeon mueosdo
haenael su iss-eulgeosman gat-eun
ileon seolleim

My Precious(My Precious)
eotteon haes-salboda ttatteushan
My Precious(My Precious)
eotteon boseogboda chanlanhan

buseojilgeosman gatdeon gaseum-eul
mal eobs-i sseudadeum-eo jwossdeon neoui songil

My Precious(My Precious)
eotteon haneulboda kkaekkeushan
My Precious(My Precious)
eotteon yuliboda tumyeonghan

neoman gyeot-e issdamyeon mueosdo
haenael su iss-eulgeosman gat-eun
ileon seolleim

My Precious

=================================================================

Shy pervading while whispering in your ear
Our story is covered by mystery
Feels happy when we looked at each other,
Oh look how pretty foolish it is.

While we gently walking at the alley
the gap like a sip of illuminated by sunlight coming through
I could not even know what it is
You instill in my little dream

My Precious(My Precious)
My Precious(My Precious)

It was like going to memories
A warm feeling
I don't want to disappear without a trace

My Precious (My Precious)
My Precious (My Precious)

Cherish even a small step forward
This excitement
that we will cherish as

Glorious in the wind passing over the collar
Your eyes, our hands together
The days of just pure sales work
Handed over while my heart comes

I was desperate and lost hope of an exceptionally
Broken sentences are still reminiscence turns
Were likely to be left alone
Did you hold on tight to my hands

My Precious (My Precious)
My Precious (My Precious)

Seemed my heart keeps beating
Silence gave your hand to me

My Precious (My Precious)
My Precious (My Precious)

If only you can passed by what ever it is
Can make it just like
This excitement

My Precious (My Precious)
Warmer than the sun
My Precious (My Precious)
More than any brilliant gem

Seemed my heart keeps beating
Silence gave your hand to me

My Precious (My Precious)
Which is cleaner than the sky
My Precious (My Precious)
More transparent, than some glass

If only you can passed by what ever it is
Can make it just like
This excitement

My Precious...

Mixed Reality

I opened my eyes. It was all dark beyond the window, and the street lamps made the falling raindrops on the window look like stars in the dark sky. After a short moment I finally fully awoke, and realized that it was going to my stop. Hurriedly alighting and stepping into shelter together with the rest of the commuters, I immediately turned to my left and saw several rows of shoes neatly arranged on the curb, with a big sale sign among the row. Those poor quality shoes looked awkward with their retro design, it's no wonder they're on sale. However, I was mildly interested and swept my eyes across the bed of shoes, barely noticing a dark pair of shoes with white polka dots under the dim orange light. Realizing they're not worth my time and purchase, I looked straight ahead... and there I was, lying on the sofa in the living room in my house. I sat up with a splitting headache. The dark street felt so real it felt weird that I could awaken from that world into this.

If only there is any way of waking from this world.

Miss-Understood

Nono, I'm not refering to the Ayumi song...

I guess I really enjoy reading and learning more for the sake of learning. I get distracted by ideas and often get lost in exploring them. Just a few days ago, because my brother posted BBC's top 100 books list, which I'll post below, I had been re-reading some of the books I had totally forgotten the contents of.

According to BBC, most people have only read 6 out of the 100 books listed below. The 20 bold ones are the ones I remember having read:

BBC Top 100 Books (2010)
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zifon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams -
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factoy - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo


The list is a little weird, especially when The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe is part of the Narnia Chronicles, but oh well, let's just ignore that. =)

Currently I'm re-reading number 59, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. I remember this was a rather queer book, with a lot of maths-y stuff in it, and the chapters were numbered in a strange way. However, reading it again was quite a pleasure, now that I understood much more the writer tried to put across in the seemingly strange and emotionless narration.

One thing that really caught my eye was the Monty Hall Problem. I had known the circumstances of the problem before, I think I have heard it from Kelvin before, and he had patiently explained the correct solution to me before, but I had totally forgotten about it and went with my intuition again. Reading and re-reading the solution I know of it to be correct, but it still hasn't registered in my head yet.

The Monty Hall Problem speaks of a scenario of a TV Reality Show. You are the contestant who gets to choose one out of the three doors, in which 2 holds a goat, while the 3rd door has a car behind it. You pick one of the doors, and the TV host opens another door to reveal a goat behind it. You are then given the choice to stick with the door you have already chosen, or to pick the other door instead.

My intuition tells me to stick with the current door I have chosen. I mean, at first, I have 1/3 chance of getting the door right on my first choice, once the host opens another door with the goat, my chance of getting the door right seems to have increased to 1/2. Thus whether I stick with the current door, or to make the switch, should give me an equal probability of winning the car.

But nonono~~~ That's a misconception, which many people fiercely believe to be true. Consider the following: Right at the beginning, I choose the door, and this door has 2/3 chance of having a goat behind, 1/3 of having the winning car. After the host opens another door, if I had chosen a door with the goat, and stuck with the door, the probability of me having a door with a goat is still 2/3 instead of 1/2, because the event where the host opens another door with the goat is irrelevant to my initial choice of door. This means, if I were to follow the strategy of sticking with my initial choice of door, I would only have 1/3 chance of winning. However, suppose that I had chosen the door with the goat and after the host opens another door with the goat, I choose the last door, I would definitely win the car. The probability of me winning the car by following the strategy of changing doors after the host opens a door with the goat will then be 2/3. Thus, in such a scenario, we should always change the door we choose. Opps is that a clear explanation...? =X



Anyways, that aside, I have been really interested in a few upcoming DS games (weird coming from me? Especially since the DS is like a dying console with the 3DS coming out in the early half of 2011)... Professor Layton vs Ace Attorney (as seen in this post), Ni no Kuni, and just today I found out about 999: 9 Hours, 9 People, 9 Doors.

In an interview with the director of 999, he mentioned that the inspiration for the game came from the Enneagram of Personality, which is one of the models used to classify personalities. According to 2 of the Enneagram tests I've done online, my core type most likely a Five, or maybe a Nine. It is interesting to read about the possible origins of each type, and I can already form ideas how this Enneagram concept could be used to form settings of games or stories. It is then no wonder that the Enneagram of Personality forms the inspiration of many literature.

The possible origin of Nines are particularly disturbing in my opinion, especially in relation to the recent events that happened; though the nature of Nines could also be due to their horoscope (especially Libras, who feel the need to maintain peace at any cost) in a way. Most adults view things so much different from children and simply refuse to look from their perspective (it's the center of the story of the Little Prince, which I have also re-read recently), or will deem their perspective as being weird and are not empathetic to their views. But by being so, children or the other party might feel that they are unable to communicate to the "adults". Maybe this contributes to the "generation gap" between parents and children.

莫名其妙

I feel angry over... virtually nothing.

What's wrong with me???

Totally cool~

Chris Bringhust redesigned up to 200 game characters into sprites that looked like if they're in the Mega Man game in his free time... Talk about coolness!!!

Click for the enlarged version! XD

Taken from http://blog.pikimal.com/geek/2010/11/09/200-gaming-characters-as-mega-man-sprites/

weird dreams

I had a really weird dream where I was visiting Yu Chun's chinese medicine clinic, and in another moment I was playing on an electric guitar... The weirdest thing was, I could play the intro of a song perfectly well.

Wish that could happen in real life... =X

Insomnia

Wide awake at close to 4AM in the morning while working on my assignment...

I hate the nagging voices in my head... "I must get some sleep before I have to go out later" "What if I can't wake up later?" "I don't know whether I'll have enough energy to go through today..." "Will I be able to sleep tomorrow?"

I shouldn't have napped in the afternoon. (Well I didn't have a good night's rest last night, and I had a headache)
I shouldn't have drank the tiramisu latte after dinner. (But I thought caffeine no longer works for me)

What's wrong with me??? Why can't I just have a good rest at the end of a long long day?

Workaholic...?

I'm so tired, since I'm down with the 3-in-1 package (sore throat + flu + cough)... yet whenever I lie down on my bed, images and thoughts regarding my work just overwhelms me...

Is this stress or over-excitement regarding the work I'm doing? =)

After the 3 weeks worth of (boring...?) work, I finally get to work with something that really piques my interest... =D I feel really lucky, it's like... really rare for people to enjoy their work once they start working.

I guess it really is in my personality...? to be working towards something while thinking about others, instead of just ... implementing something for the sake of it. =)

These days, everything feels like a dream... It's as though as i'm living in a fantasy... (and I don't know why I have this feeling)

I hope I can continue to feel this way for the work I do everyday.

It never pays to overwork.

I hate the sore throat/flu that always come after that.

This is like a secret fantasy come true!!!

I'm so going to get this when it comes out!!! XD

Unbreakable

Lyrics & Music: Angela Aki, Jess Leary

Lying in bed, no dreams in my head
Shadows are closing in
Feeling afraid I'm losing my way
And I won't feel the sun again

A prisoner alone in my room
So tired of begging the moon

Just another hopeless night
Nobody's missing me
Just another desperate cry
Nobody's listening
Outside my window, one wishing star
Make me one unbreakable heart
Just one unbreakable heart

Tell me I will make it through
Cause I know until I do

Just another hopeless night
Nobody's missing me
Just another desperate cry
Nobody's listening
Outside my window, one wishing star
Make me one unbreakable heart

Make me unbreakable
Make me unbreakable

Just another hopeless night
Nobody's missing me
Just another desperate cry
Is anybody listening?
Outside my window, one wishing star
Make me unbreakable heart

Just another hopeless night
Nobody's missing me
Just another desperate cry
Nobody's listening
Outside my window, one wishing star
Make me one unbreakable heart
Just one unbreakable heart
Make me one unbreakable heart
Just one unbreakable heart

What Are The Roses For?

Lyrics & Music: Angela Aki

What are the roses for?
Petals of red velvet
It isn't my birthday or Valentine's yet
So, what are the roses for?

What are the diamonds for?
Galaxies trapped in stone
The magic of Christmas has come and it's gone
So what are the diamonds for?

Dancing, avoiding the truth
Romancing comes easy for you
My heart aches for answers;
I can't let this moment pass
So I'll ask

What are the kisses for?
Softer than autumn's breath
Your lips taste of secrets, a hint of regret
So what are these kisses for?

Living, avoiding the truth
Or knowing what you can't undo
My heart has two choices:
I can't let this moment pass
So I'll ask

What are the roses for?
Presents so passionate
It isn't my birthday or Valentine's yet
So, what are the roses for?
What are the roses for?
What are the roses for?

Everlong

I finally found out the name of the song that had been playing in my head for so long... yays! ^^



Everlong
By: Foo Fighters

Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong

Tonight
I throw myself into
And out of the red, out of her head she sang

Come down
And waste away with me
Down with me

Slow how
You wanted it to be
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang
Chorus-

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
Verse 2-

Breathe out
So I could breathe you in
Hold you in

And now
I know you've always been
Out of your head, out of my head I sang
Chorus-

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
Chorus-

And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~~~~~~

I always thought that my bladder is very strong, and boast that I can hold up to 3 hours when it feels urgent... But holding just an hour yesterday... I'm still having a tummyache for it now...

What a painful lesson learnt... Never overestimate your "powers"!

Threadless...?

Since the previous instance when my brother had specially ordered tees from this website, I had been really curious... And this opened the Pandora's box...

 

Haiz~ How now brown cow? Should I make my order...?

The Ultimate Battle...

No thanks to my recent investment in a Band Hero set, now I'm currently hyped up with the fake guitar and drum set sitting in my living room. However, being the perfectionist I am, such fake music simulations is simply not enough! I want to learn the real thing!!!

Which brings me back to a little dream I have buried within me since university days. I've always wanted to join a band, be it as a keyboardist or vocalist. But that was in the past. I've joined a band which lasted for 2 jamming sessions and I'll say they were pretty disappointed in me... But in my self defense, I couldn't help it! We were too different, I'm more into Chinese pop music while the rest were more ang moh and the songs we initially practised were all songs sang by male vocalists. HOW IN THE HELL CAN I SING SUCH A LOW KEY WITHOUT BRINGING UP THE VOCAL RANGE??!!! Ok sorry for that outburst, but I understand why the others are stubborn about leaving the key as it is, since if we bring the key up the song difficulty becomes really much tougher for the guitarists. But, putting that aside, I really practised my vocals hard on my own... Though later we chose a song sang by a female vocalist, the keyboard part was really heavy and without any training I couldn't play the keyboard and sing properly at the same time. So yeaps, ultimate and epic failz.

I do know the piano, but keyboard is simply very different from the piano in a manner of speaking. The techniques are rather different (unless we're talking about a good keyboard that costs a bomb, touch, which is everything when playing the piano, is something that is non existent in playing the keyboard), and there are many sound effects which could be exploited when using a keyboard. But I'm always hesitant to invest in a new instrument. Keyboards are expensive, and if I'm getting an instrument, I will not be satisfied with a lousy one.

This leads to my next point, which is.... I do have an acoustic guitar sitting at home, which I've borrowed from my friend. Though this is different from my original idea of probably playing an electric guitar, at least I can start somewhere if I'm really going to learn an electric guitar... Guitar is kinda my style, since I'm used to playing instruments that can both solo and have heavy melody lines in songs. But I'm interested in drums too, I think my rhythm sense is lacking in terms of accuracy and learning drums will help rectify that...

Given my time and financial constraints, I could only learn 1 instrument... Guitar vs. Drums... which of you will reign???

How now brown cow???!!!

寂寞寂寞就好

剥离了回忆 开始寻找孤独
找到孤独 就不怕寂寞了





寂寞寂寞就好
歌手：Hebe 田馥甄

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的
借來的都該還掉

我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用 每個人有每個人的業障因果

會有什麼 什麼都沒有
早點看破 才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的

我總會把你戒掉

No Reason

I don't know why, but I just felt like saying...

Goodbye.

Heavy Rain

It's the raining season, so it's only appropriate to talk about the heavy rain.

No, I mean =this= Heavy Rain. The interactive fiction work on the PS3 that has won many acclaimed reviews and finally, I had the chance to understand why other players are so excited about this title. Actually I've completed this a few weeks back, I just didn't have the chance to really sit down and blog about this, and I didn't want to let that experience just fade away with time, so here's my little review to imprint it into my memory...

This story-intensive piece begs players to answer the question: How far are you willing to go to save someone you love? The story revolves around the Origami Killer, who is a serial that strikes during the heavy rain season in fall by kidnapping a child, leaving the child to drown due to the heavy rain, near a railway a few days later with an orchid and an origami figure. Players first start out with the father of the latest victim, Ethan Mars, who has received origami figures containing instructions about the trials the killer has set out for Ethan to save his son. Along the way, a private investigator Scott Shelby visits the families of the previous victims to learn more about the killer. FBI agent Norman Jayden works together with the Police to help bring the Origami Killer to justice, while journalist Madison Paige suffers from chronic insomnia, and conducts her own investigation on the Origami Killer after her fateful meeting with Ethan at a motel.

Summary aside, let's just jump straight into what I think about this work. This is not really a game technically speaking, it's more like a mixture of film and interactive fiction. But I'm really awed by the writing and design of this piece, as the player actions influence the outcome. Characters can die if the player is not careful (or did it on purpose), and this kind of writing is very lacking in most games currently in the market. In addition, I am also awed by the themes and trials set up for the players to undertake. I can still remember the trial where I have to decide whether I am willing to sacrifice a part of me physically to save my son. Ok, technically that's not my son but Ethan's, but you get the idea. The immersion of this title is... awesome. And I remember and feel the pain and stress vividly when I had to achieve this task within 5 minutes.

The graphics and animation helps add realism and immersion during my playthrough, though there were awkward animation moments. I liked how the character models are shown close up with some slight animations during loading times, it's a wonderful showcase of how detailed the character textures are, and how well the lighting is done, even for the eyes. I used to think that a model's eyes were the most telling of whether the model is real or just CG, but I guess I live in the past generation.

My favourite character is Madison (as seen above), maybe because I'm biased since I'm a female. At first I did not think she's pretty but after going through the entire ordeal with her, I think otherwise. All characters are flawed in terms of personality -- they all have some psychological problems they had to go through, which is a little cheesy to me, but I think this characterizations are necessary to bring out the control interface, which emphasizes on the psychological state the character is going through at the moment. It is totally cool, with some movement control with the PS3 controller, but this interface have its flaws too.

Another feature which I really liked was.... *surprise surprise!* the pause screen. When the player pauses the game, random rain droplets would appear to fall on the screen, and the screen will appear as though as it's a normal water surface with all the ripples from the raindrops. Any effects programmer would say "Hey that's just a simple trick!", but I was awed, because the normal gamer who doesn't know game programming would think this effect looks good, and it is really simple to achieve this effect. It's a nice and neat solution to creating a cool looking pause screen without getting additional assets for it.

Let's talk about the interface, which I had touched on slightly earlier. The tilting of camera view is controlled by the left analog stick, while walking requires both the left analog stick and R2 on the PS3 controller. All other actions to be carried out are done either with the right analog stick, the 4 buttons, by thrusting the entire controller up, down, sideways, or rotating the controller. The visual cues on screen to allow players choose the action they wish to carry out could be blurred, depending on the psychological impact of the action on the character. I think this aspect allows players to better immerse themselves in the story and to empathize with the character. A really good example would be Scott feeding the baby in the screenshot above, I really feel I'm mothering... oh I mean, fathering, the baby. On the other hand, I felt the controls for movement and tilting of camera was not that intuitive and obvious, perhaps they should be swapped, since most of the time players would be moving their characters around, instead of changing camera view. The current control scheme for moving characters just feels too cumbersome in my opinion.

Speaking of camera views, most of the time the camera view is fine. However there are some camera glitches, albeit minor ones at specific locations, which will cause the game to be unable to proceed. I once got my character stuck after he jumped over a fence to his neighbour's house in his garden. I couldn't go back or move forward and I couldn't even see my character at all. In the end I had to get out of the current game and play again from my previous auto save point.

Norman has really cool glasses and gloves, and I absolutely love playing with his ARI glasses. Opps I side tracked! I wanted to talk more about the actions available to players, and I felt sometimes that certain action options are not made known to the players good enough. Sometimes, perhaps due to the camera angle, the visual cue to input and execute an action could not be seen clearly, despite the character being relatively near to trigger the action. On other cases, I could see the option to carry out an action, but I have no idea what kind of action I could do. Sometimes that action which I would do in mistake was not what I wanted. Perhaps for the less obvious actions, some verbal cue could be given before allowing the users to decide whether to proceed with the actual action. An example would be in the Madison's dream sequence, where she could choose to take the sleeping pills in her bathroom to help her with her insomnia. I actually did not want to take those pills but I did it unknowingly in the end, which caused me to miss a few sequences subsequently.

In conclusion, Heavy Rain is a really immersive title which I would suggest for potential gamers to try and stay away from any walkthroughs during their first playthrough. I made the mistake of spoiling myself and reading through all the options to make sure I get the best ending (since I only intended to play the entire title once) and that really reduced my Heavy Rain experience. I was left with a lingering thirst at the end of the story, and I would like to see more of such similar experience, be it in games or in interactive fiction.

Greediness

... is there such a word?

I feel I'm overly greedy. There are so many things I want to do, so many people I wish I could get closer to learn more about their lives or to maybe "help" them but there's this invisible line I have to observe, not just for them but for myself too. It's a really delicate balance there which, once anyone goes over the line it's like all hell would break loose...

And I'm back to the idea of helping others out. I might "overly" think about my motives and others motives for helping people out. This may sound... bad, but I wonder... The past few days I have been helping my boyfriend out to paint his new house as if otherwise it would only be him working on this task alone, and I have past experience in painting the entire house so I know how tough and tiring it can be, which is the reason I want to help despite the long journey to his new home and how tiring the process it. But why is he the only person working on this project...? Mean part ahead, but... his father can also help out since he is not working every weekday, but he's not helping with the paint job directly, he'll just buy the supplies or bring stuff from the current house to the new house where we would be painting... I wonder is it really because he doesn't care? Or was it because I am helping out there so he felt there was no need to help? Or is it because I was there he didn't want to be lightbulb...? Would he see me helping my boyfriend out these few days as me working for the new house which could potentially become my future home...? All these thought makes my head hurt... And my heart to hurt too.

To help or not to help, that is indeed a really profound question for me to find the answer to for every situation I encounter.

withdrawal symptoms

I wanna play guitar hero!!! or rock band, or band hero.........

TTnTT

Choir of the Angels

Sorry for the poor choice of post title, it's actually the name of my priest's grace de coup from dragon quest ix... haha!






Somehow KTV these days feel... different. In the past I felt I could give and sing more soul into songs which I love. Now... somehow the feelings do not really resonate...

After today's KTV session (I think it's the fourth I've had in the past 3 weeks? LOL yays I win you Kelvin XD) I just feel like screaming off the top of my lungs to express my inner emotions, which I could never have done so in everyday life. Though I think I'm pretty OK with writing, but when it comes to expressing my feelings, I'm not good at verbal communication at all, in my opinion. =) Songs and music was my way to express myself, back when I was really really young, like since Primary school times...

Maybe I should go for yet another KTV session soon....? LOL just kidding!

Here's the song that resonates in my head tonight. I feel I've reached a new level of understanding to this song, and I hope the next time I tackle this song, I could better express the emotion in this song...






被爱的女人
歌手：李玟

在镜子前面 我是个被爱的女人
他就在门外 这个周末我可以依赖在他的胸怀
在情人面前 我还是单身的女人
爱若缺了缘份 我想我只能用情至深但不能太认真

为什么被爱 有时却觉得悲哀
为什么我 还是害怕一个人醒来
为什么相爱 日子却依然空白
为什么你 走不到我的未来

让爱固定下来 我不会永远青春可爱
我的美丽要你的温柔 帮我保留下来
让爱固定下来 我和你不要不要分开
我不要爱一再一再彩排 我不是每次失恋后都能从新再来

Memories

I was just reviewing my previous two years worth of blog entries... and I realized that my language skills back then were so much better! I was rather mesmerized by one particular entry, which I shall repost below... Guess what was I referring to in this entry? No prizes for the right guess though... =)








29 June 2008


hi my best friend...

why do you keep coming back to company me when nobody else is around?
i don't need your company.
i don't need your pity.
i don't need anybody's pity.

are you something that i have to learn how to conquer someday?
didn't i conquer you back then 2 years ago?

i can try to chase you away.
i can fill the entire room with music and games.
but in the end,
you simply refuse to budge from the depths of my heart.

is there some sort of antidote or some sort of poison
so that i can get rid of u once and for all?
sadly even if the antidote or poison was taken,
the very next moment i stop taking it
u come back alive and kicking,
and even stronger than before.

i hate you.
but i can't help but to live together with you.
is this hatred mutual?
does it even matter?

let us be nice and friendly to each other.
pls try not to overwhelm me
not only late into the night,
but at this very moment too.

ashamed

i don't know the full lyrics to my national anthem!
and i totally forgot my jc school song (even the tune)...
not to mention i only remember bits of my secondary school song...
and... i totally have no recollection of my primary school song...

i'm old. =(((((((

Calamine Lotion

Flea!
Flea fly!!
Flea fly mosquito!!!
Calamine~ Calamine~ Calamine lotion~~~
Oh~~~ No more calamine lotion~~~
Itchy itchy scratchy scratchy up and down my backy backy~~
Itchy itchy scratchy scratchy up and down my backside~~



How nostalgic~ And this is the song that popped up in my head these days now that I'm feeling itchy all over despite having bathed and scrubbed myself clean and yet I am not having rashes or anything... Am I sick or something? =X

Japalang

I'm happy, worried, excited, shocked, anticipating and yet hesitant at the same time just when action finally arrives.

Maybe inaction might be better...?

Definitely no way.

I hope things turns out fine and great...

Dragon Quest -- Turning Hate into Love

After my previous post/rant about my desire to be productive, I shall attempt to put that to work... And behold! Here's my latest obsession...

Frankly speaking, my first game in the Dragon Quest series was Dragon Quest VIII on the PS2 when I borrowed the aforementioned console and game from my friend a few years back. I think I only played it for about 5 hours, only barely making it past the first town, first dungeon and back. I didn't like the series at all back then: gameplay was slow (I think I was spoiled by the turn-based-cum-action hybrid RPGs and Dragon Quest is a faithful turn-based RPG), unintuitive menu systems (I had to go to the church to save, and I had totally no idea what the different options like benediction does at the church!), frequent grinding to buy the best equipment in town etc. And after a freaking 5 hours I was still at the first town with little plot development. Why am I even investing time in this game?! I thought so, and then I put that game down for good.

I had the same response during my first few hours of playthrough with Dragon Quest IX. The church was still there, turn-based battle system was still so sluggish and I still had to grind. But admittedly, the difficulty level was less steep in my opinion than its predecessor. And since Dragon Quest IX is the first game I got on an original cartridge for my new DS, I could not just put it down and shove it away like how I had treated Dragon Quest VIII. So I decided to gave this game more time, and I am glad I did. This game is really value for money and has its own charm. The monsters and spell names are rather humorous, and there is so much post-game content that I think I could easily spend 100+ hours on the game. I had a lot of fun with the multiplayer feature too: I was treasure-hunting (another really cool feature) with my friend trying to kill this boss called Shogum, who's an armored guy riding a huge pink slime. My friend's level was pretty low and she deals a mere 1 damage to the boss, so I told her, "Hey, I'll Oomph your character." And then we both laughed at how silly that statement sounded. (Oomph is a spell which increases a character's attack a lot.*wink*)

Let me digress a little: for that boss battle I had with my friend, in the end my friend's DS ran out of battery, so I was left in the middle of the really tough boss battle and got wiped out in the next 2 turns. Ouch to my virtual wallet.

There are other fun oddities which I had never appreciated in my previous encounter with Dragon Quest VIII. I could never understand how a monster dancing in front of my party in battle could make my own party member(s) get into the groove and start to boogie with the dancing monster! Although I still can't understand that's possible now, I laugh at it whenever that happens.

I heart Dragon Quest IX, but does not mean that this game is free from problems. Due to the focus on multiplayer feature for this game, though we are given the opportunity to customize our hero and party members (which I totally love this feature!), the party members no longer play a significant role in the storyline, and neither is there character development for the party members. It is a shame but I understand the game design decision made, and I think it is for the best.

In addition, although there has been much improvement in the menu interface (as other gamers on the Internet have claimed), it still feels a little clunky, like something is not quite right. It really bothers me why the Quest List is lumped under Battle Records in the menu; it does not seem to fit in with the other sub menus such as Wardrobe and Item List. I feel it should be placed somewhere else more significant, like under the Misc. tab, which can be viewed directly under the game menu. (Ahh~~ UI design is tough~~) Alchemy is a pain when you are trying to mass produce a certain item: you could only make a maximum of 9 of an item through alchemy at any time. Shopping can be a pain too: many of the shopkeepers just talk too much before they allow you the option to purchase their wares or to sell yours. The shopping interface only shows one of the stats that an equipment in the shop would boost or decrease. This was really troublesome, especially when I wanted to upgrade armor for my magic-wielders, whom I would try to fit them with armor that enhances their magic might or mending, and I would frequently buy armor boosting their defense but lowering their magic stats by mistake. All stats that would be affected should be displayed in the interface in my opinion. The church concept is cool but I still don't understand it. If they really want to have churches to save and etc, I would really appreciate if the little text box at the bottom explains the options I am given with when I talk to the priest in the church, instead of freezing at the previous statement the priest said, which nobody reads while browsing through the options anyway.

There are also some slight inconsistencies, which tends to be overlooked, like how my hero is supposedly the only Celestrian, and yet when I ascend to the Observatory (which I believe only the Celestrians could set foot on) my entire party is there when I try to save at their church, while I am seen running through the Observatory alone. In addition, it is a little funny to see some characters (like my party members) being 3D models with nice, proper textures, while some other NPCs are just sprites. The entire game is beautiful until you zoom up to one of the super pixelated sprites during a conversation or to take up a quest, and it felt like that spoiled the visuals of the game.

I also didn't like how my camera was limited, sometimes in towns and dungeons I could shift my camera in angles less than 180, otherwise I had no control over the camera view. Maybe I was spoiled by the other current games out there which allows us to either have 360 degrees control of camera or no camera control at all, but then again, this is probably a personal preference?

Phew what a long post~ All these love for Dragon Quest IX, I am sad to say, I am putting it on hold now to wait for my friend(s) to level up so that we can go multiplayer or treasure hunt together! In the meantime... I've turned my eye onto this...

The storyline is really good though the menu and shopping interface irritates me. The story feels really epic and  having monsters fighting in your party was really cool! But a more detailed analysis should come another day probably. =))

Action, please?

I'm sick of endless waiting... Getting my hopes high and getting disappointed again and again.... It's really bad for the heart... I just wanna do something productive with my life. I don't really mind all these endless playing of RPGs on my new DS but I feel so hollow inside. I need to do something that contribute to like... something. Something bigger. Something that contributes to society. Or just something useful...

Please just give me a job already... TTnTT

The Illusion of Choice

We live in a free world. We can choose the type of food we like for dinner, where to meet our friends, and what clothes to buy. We are also able to decide which political party our votes go to, the gadgets which accompany us to wherever we go everyday and so on. The things we have, how we look, and how we carry ourselves, are the result of our individuality. We live in a free world of choice.

... Or is that really so...?

In this world there has been an increasing move towards expression of individualism. We all want to be different from one another, and this has often been exploited in advertisements. ("Get the new Chevrolet Cruze. It expresses your individualism." or the Dove commercial that says something along the line of "You are who you are") However, aren't we limited by the "choices" that are given by the circumstances? The clothes we buy in the shopping malls we go to are limited by the stock they carry in their stores. The ideas we spark off are limited by our knowledge, values and personal experience. The look of our in-game avatars are limited by the choices we are given by the game designer.

I thought of this issue again when I was randomly exploring the idea of expressing individualism in games, especially role playing games. As mentioned earlier, games these days allow players to customize their avatars to express individualism. This works, when the player base is small. However, when the player base is huge, problems arise. There has been complaints of how a player in World of Warcraft could see the exact same avatar as he strolls across the game map. As much as we try to cater to expressing individualism, there is still a probability of someone who acts and dresses the way you do.

This is when creativity comes in. We have to break away from the box of options we are given. If I want to be truly unique in my dressing, I have to design my own clothes. In relation to games, this is probably where user-created content comes in.

But how creative can one be? There is still the invisible box of values, personality and experience that one have, which shapes their thoughts and actions. And creative ideas cannot materialize unless the tools to create the crystallized idea are available.

And humans are lazy by nature. That is why it is always easier to fall back on existing convention(s).













True individualism is a lie.

The World Ends With You

"... The world ends with you. If you want to enjoy life, expand your world. You gotta push your horizons out as far as they’ll go."

-- Mr. H, The World Ends With You

"... the world ends with me. To expand my world, I have to learn to look farther--not write off other people’s values as inferior.
... Maybe I had it backwards. Maybe I need to open up to really enjoy..."

-- Neku Sakuraba, The World Ends With You

Everyone has different perceptions of the world (not only in terms of philosophy, psychology says so too!), and thus "the world" is different for every individual. Or a more accurate way to put it might be that we are all living in different worlds. In our individual worlds.

When people meet, their worlds and ideologies clash. Sometimes people open up to one another, allowing their different worlds to partially merge, and causing change to their own worlds. Sometimes when two worlds are simply too foreign, they just close up and reject each other. It may not be due to people "writing off other people's values as inferior", it might be more of people drawing boundaries of their worlds, to close off their worlds from other "unwanted elements" from other worlds.

There is no right or wrong to drawing boundaries I guess. In fact all worlds have their own boundaries, limited by the individual's values, ideas and personal experience. But, in order to really grow as an individual, although it is possible to expand one's world just by oneself, the potential of growth simply cannot be compared to exposing one to another's world. But... let's just be selective about which worlds to open our own worlds to, shall we?

Personal space

I guess I probably need lots and lots of time out on my own to chill out and reflect about the world I face...

What starts with F...

 and ends with the letters UCK?

...
...
...

Fire truck lah! What were you thinking? =Pp

My hair still smells of BBQ

... since the BBQ gathering last Sunday... omg!

Lightsabers.....

^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*lol
*i will use the lightsaber to cut watermelon
*:D
miyato@ntu says:
*ay
*think u cut half, no more juice le
*all the heat from it
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*all vapourise
*lmao
miyato@ntu says:
*haha
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*but the idea's so cool :D
miyato@ntu says:
*=.="
*dried malon
*melon
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*lols
*next time wan dried mangoes
*use this method oso can wors
*good idea hor?
miyato@ntu says:
*erm
*mango?
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*yah
miyato@ntu says:
*too small, think cut liao 10% left
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*lmao
*but more efficient lehs, imagine u take like 3 days to make dried mango slices from a mango
*if use light saber can do it so much more quickly
miyato@ntu says:
*but u can not slice it with a light saber
*1 mango slice liao, left 10%
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*haha can do like those pro chefs
miyato@ntu says:
*lol
*is ur light saber too thick le
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*toss the mango in the air then cut nicely and arrange nicely in a plate
*hmmmmms
*adjust the lightsaber to make the saber not so thick?
*use thinner laser? lols
miyato@ntu says:
*lol
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*hmmms come to think of it
*in that case if someone gets killed by a lightsaber
*there shouldn't be blood splatter already
*cos the cut parts should already be cooked, so no more liquid blood lols
*must go tell the game companies lol
miyato@ntu says:
*lol
*blood from the bone
*not the flesh
*they should just use that to cut metals, ore
*save more time
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*hmms good idea
*i wonder if lightsabers can cut diamonds into those nice shapes we see at jewelery shops
miyato@ntu says:
*haha
*but later will become black diamond
*u still buy?
^sOtOnGfIeDs^ *每个黎明都 需要有夜成全* says:
*hees liddat even more valuable XD
miyato@ntu says:
*lol

I never fail to get fascinated at work.

A:你有玩restaurant city和cafe world吗？
B:做什么嘞？
A:有的话就add你在facebook.
... so you only add someone you face everyday if and only if that
person contributes to ur social game network? Wow.

I was greeted by an empty Mentos box when I reached office today. Apparently someone finished my Mentos and was nice to leave me with the empty box for me to throw on my own. How nice of my colleague(s).

Memory

Looks like I do remember some people's handphone numbers. I always
thought I'll be so lost without my handphone's contacts.

Thankfully I still do. If not I would have no idea who you are.

"A stranger!"
"From the outside!"
"Woaaaaahhhhhhhh..."

Come June 18th!!!

...

That feeling just wouldn't go away.

生存以上 生活以下

作詞：阿信(五月天)　作曲：瑪莎(五月天)

連刷牙 也照著節奏 沖了馬桶 洗了臉上的疲倦泡沫
沒有夢 昨夜沒有夢 鏡子裡的 陌生人已經不再做夢
上課鐘 變成打卡鐘 單行道般 的人生流失在車陣中
進行曲 規律的平庸 活的像是 一句標語壓韻而服從

午餐是 隨便還是 都好還是 跟你一樣 的任何一種
奇怪呢 很久以前 我是很有 想法主見 心跳很執著

傷心再也不吹風 現在只害怕傷風 耽誤了誰和誰的要求 一天一天
看日昇日落 看月圓月缺 年復一年的經過 看誰把我變成現在的我
怕潮起潮落 怕患得患失 錯了又錯的疼痛 終於我的生命只剩生存
活著只會呼吸吃飯喝水的生活

小時候 只要看天空 枕著白雲 就覺得全世界都擁有
長大了 擁有的更多 為何感覺 到越來越匱乏越貧窮
那一年 只追逐自由 現在只能 追逐著漲不停的石油
是不是 地殼又震動 要從家裡 震落才悔恨這樣生活

生活的 反面會是 死去還是 這般生存 不再有衝動
閉上眼 就能感覺 生命正在 一分一秒 飛奔遠離我

還不如一隻昆蟲 至少能破繭展翅 飛向那被奪走的天空 一天一天
看日昇日落 看月圓月缺 年復一年的經過 看誰把我變成現在的我
怕潮起潮落 怕患得患失 錯了又錯的疼痛 終於我的生命只剩生存
活著只會呼吸吃飯喝水的生活

一年有 三百六十 五個日子 五十二萬 五千多分鐘
一生有 三十四億 五千六百 七十八萬 九千下脈搏

為愛而出生之後 生命要怎麼揮霍 直到我化成煙的時候 一天一天
看日昇日落 看月圓月缺 年復一年的經過 看誰把我變成現在的我
怕潮起潮落 怕患得患失 錯了又錯的疼痛 終於我的生命只剩生存
活著只會呼吸吃飯喝水的生活 一天一天
看日昇日落 看月圓月缺 年復一年的經過 曾經我也那麼獨一無二
怕潮起潮落 怕患得患失 錯了又錯的疼痛 終於我的生命只剩生存
活著只會呼吸吃飯喝水的生活

連刷牙 也照著節奏 然後設定了明天 六點半的鬧鐘

不解

I was so upset earlier with u when u said u'll help but u didn't.

Yet, when u finally decided to chip in to help (and in ur spare time), why didn't i feel any happier?

Or is there really something terribly wrong with me?

Shader Magic

I always LOL whenever I receive a new shader magic in 3D Dot Game Heroes! Especially when "shader magic" is an internal joke to game programmers... XD

S.H.E - 爱就对了

总是要流一些滚烫热泪
才能换来对爱的体会
你看 世界没有毁灭 心也没有碎
其他的就交时间解决

你当然可以重新再爱 （能重新再爱）
受过伤的感动 怎样爱与被爱

所以 别再沉溺他的回忆 有空白回忆
离开你的 只有他 但是 爱还在


听我说 爱是对的 错的是我们 还没学会爱
就急着爱人 而爱错人
可是 爱就对了 遇到下一个 爱上就爱了
痛苦或快乐 都是获得

我当然经历过你现在的感受
我想那是人必经的折磨
也许 每个人都该是某个人 成长的助手
受一点苦痛 帮助她成熟

听我说 爱是对的 错的是我们 还没学会爱
就急着爱人 而爱错人
可是 爱就对了 遇到下一个 爱上就爱了
痛苦或快乐 都是获得

别探听他的线索 别等待他会回头
爱。。不喜欢看人软弱
别继续把心封锁 别躲在伤心里头
爱。。万一来了别错过

爱是对的 错的是我们 还没学会爱
就急着爱人 而爱错人
可是 爱就对了 遇到下一个 爱上就爱了
痛苦或快乐 都是获得

听我说 爱是对的 错的是别人 自以为的爱
才会有爱人 又伤害爱人
可是 爱就对了 爱了就值得 爱就能懂得
健身当快乐 爱就对了（爱已来了 别错过）

footprints in games...again?

Sorry, it's my bad. Apparently there ARE games with footprints that disappear after some time, like the snowfield above in Modern Warfare. But frankly speaking, those footprints looked funny at certain angles for certain areas in that map. =)

Footprints in educational games...?

I have been tasked with a weird assignment.

I was to make an educational PC game set in an outdoor environment such as the forest, where the players choose a character and solve puzzles to reveal unknown parts of the map. There are four different type of puzzle based on character selection: Mathematics for Mathematician, History for Historian, Physics for Physicist, and Arts for Artist.

One of the graphic requirements was to render footprints left behind when the character walks around the terrain, and these footprints would disappear after some time. I was to write the technical design document, and needed to look for similar game references.

Which games would have such feature that is already implemented?

How about some of the latest games with pretty graphics?

Final Fantasy XIII can be considered one of the really pretty looking games, and look! No footprints on the terrain! Or maybe the ground was hard and no visible footprints are left behind....

Ok, how about....

White Knight Chronicles was released at approximately the same time as Final Fantasy XIII, and although graphics wise the real time rendering quality cannot be compared with the previous game title, still, no footprints!

Even when the characters are walking in the desert, only some sand flying simulation whenever the characters lift their legs off the ground is carried out.

Come to think of it, I had never thought of or noticed that there were no footprints in the games I've played, until I really looked hard (for this assignment). Why is that so?

The only viable reason I could think of is... Footprints are too small to be noticed, and thus additional processing power spent for achieving this effect could be better spent elsewhere. Or, it could be that during level design, considerations for harder terrains (so that no footprint rendering is needed) have already been made, such as in Final Fantasy XIII. All the terrains in Final Fantasy XIII appear either hard, or have lush greenery such that no footprints would be left behind even when characters travel through the terrain.

If for all these games which strive to achieve realism through the eyes of the players have left such real world "realism" behind, then why should an education game, whose focus should be mainly on puzzles for players to learn from, have a requirement for a graphic effect that is not inline with the game focus?

The only conclusion I could get was... this is a lousy assignment whose actual requirements from another existing genre had been poorly fitted into an educational game. If we consider the games that really focus on graphic realism, the only feature remotely similar to the aforementioned requirement is just the simulation of tire tracks, such as in crysis:

Thinking back to my assignment, i can only summarize my feelings with o.O and =_=|||

Expectations are the root of all evil

Whatever I do, it's all wrong.
Just tell me, what can I do now?

Buzz2 Chaos - Spot The Difference

yays! the game i've worked on is finally going commercial! check out the youtube video:

Conformity

I just happened to be sitting in front of the TV last night after my bath to just stone and let my hair dry for a while... and that was when I was captivated by the movie "Little Red Flowers" on Okto's FilmArt.

The movie was about a boy called Fang Qiangqiang, who was a rebellious and naughty boy, who fails to adhere to the rules in the kindergarten he attends in China. His rebellious may not be by nature; he wanted to fit in with the rest of his classmates and have fun with them, but he does not follow the rules set by the adults and as a result, gets shunned away by the adults and other children in the end. Although I felt sorry for Qiangqiang throughout the movie, I also understood the headache the teachers in the kindergarten had as well.

I hate rules as well. This might be the reason why I feel for Qiangqiang, and think that the adults might have been too harsh on him. Yet, now that I'm so much older, I hate to admit but I stick to rules too. There are certain social rules that I "enforce" on others too, like if someone else is not "nice" I'll do the cold treatment just like the teachers in "Little Red Flowers". Could I be too harsh as well? Of course I could always argue that, hey the people I'm facing now may not be children like Qiangqiang, children still do not understand the workings of our world so we could excuse them. But this movie just made me realize that like how Qiangqiang interprets the world differently from the other children and teachers in school, so do I and the others I meet and face. Just because someone else is "different from the norm", does that mean that person should be shunned away as well...?

That's a really good question.

There's a reason why certain social norms are in place. And those who do not understand this will appear different from the norm. However, if others shun away from you, perhaps there really is a good reason behind it; yet it is just human to think of other people being at fault rather than we ourselves being at fault.

The battle within

When there is light, there will be shadows.
In darkness, there will be light.

For all these years, my light and dark sides have been battling each other with no clear signs of victory to either side... Or there could be no lasting victory for either side at all in the first place?

I am tired.
Can my light side take over from here?

Frustration

Seriously... How could you not know the correct name for someone whom u've worked with daily for more than a month?

Are my expectations just too high?
I really feel my irritation meter filling up fast and bursting soon... again.
RAWR~!

Explosion

I really need to work on my temper.
But I don't regret the things I've said earlier.
Because they have been buried deep in me all these time.

Stay away from my fish!!!!

This is just one of my random game ideas... Please post any comments (like whether you like this idea or not)!!!

Alrighty, here it goes!

Player plays as an employee that is in charge of chasing birds away from his boss' fish that is hung out to dry to produce salted fish. The player will move around patches of fish to chase away birds, like the conventional time management games. When there are too many birds, the player's irritation meter goes up until he/she is about to explode. This is when the player will go "RAWR!!!" and shoot a beam of fire from his mouth and scare away all the birds on screen...

What do you guys and gals think?

heavenly sign

just when i decide that i could have a swim after work, a thunderstorm comes along the way...

darn. i shouldn't have eaten so many of the eclairs from the free buffet near my office for late afternoon tea.

梦想

很难实现 才叫梦想 才要决心

temptation

I resisted hello panda's temptation...
But I succumbed to RITZ Cheese Sandwich Crackers instead...
And I ate 2 packets of 3 in a row! o.O

灵魂

这阵子，我好久沒这么悠哉闲哉地在这长遍大论。应该算是过得还ok，吃得好睡得还好。

之前还常报怨说老板不好，现在换了个工作环境，工作方面算是上了馗道。可是镜子里的我，不管妆化得再浓，也掩饰不了我的憔悴。明明每晚都有大概7小时的睡眠，我还有什么好憔悴呢？

就快毕业了，总于要毕业了。大学时的我，是多么期待能走出社会，做个女强人，好好地冲刺。而现在的我，却每天都在倒数还有多久我才可以下班，还有多少天才到我等了多时的星期天。明明是我向往的工作，却成了我的枷锁。我多次质问自己，是我一时还无法调试新生活，还是我真的只是个草莓族…

当时能实现梦想的喜悦究竟往哪跑？难道我由始至终都不曾理解我真正想要的是什么？

我妈念我，说我每次都选不适合我的科目，自已明明不会吃苦却爱走长满荆棘的偏僻小路。当时的我，只要选择做个数学老师不就好了吗？

那梦想呢，那些都是假的吗？在实习时从工作上得到的快乐都是假的吗？看到别人玩我一心努力做出来的游戏时，想让让玩家在游戏时露岀更多笑容而努力的我，只是一时的兴起吗？

或许我做的选择都不好，但我很肯定，我知道我不想要什么。我希望能做自己，不要失去自己。我希望我能够继续拥有自已的生活，每天都会开心（虽然有点不切实际）。我想实现梦想的同时，更不想失去自我。我不希望我的生活里只剩下吃饭打工睡觉…我希望我的生活多姿多彩，希望我能常常接触新的事物，来激发我对生命的热忱，给与我创新的灵感。我要活出自我。这样的要求会很过份吗？我太贪心了吗？

想要带给别人欢乐，我想自己必须先保持健康的身体与愉快的心情。

想要实现梦想肯定不容易。我必须有我的坚持，不能把我的人生输给工作，输给莫名的压力。

I Wanna Be The Guy

LOL@Ryu!

i was bored

3d pacman? =X
my first random project using 3ds max... ^^

angry

i shall control my emotions.

will

is mine too weak?

verbal diarrhea

sometimes i wonder if i talk too much.

cash cow

i feel like one now.

No matter what happens, I wanna walk down this path with u hand in hand.

加油！

就算看不到终点

就算觉得没希望

如果有时间哭泣

还不如向前迈进

不能解决的问题

就别给自己压力

船到桥头自然直

所以不准说放弃

S.H.E - 只为爱上你

如果说这世界 不够完美不够好
一定是在等我们 亲手给它变得美好
就像爱 看起来 会那么少 一定是
在等我们一起勇敢的寻找一起找到

一片片落叶 为开出个花园
手牵手捱过整个冬天
每只蝴蝶 为了飞
为了翩翩起舞 先做一个茧

最美海岸线 总是要很蜿蜒
才足够让人忘返流连
你的身边 要不是
比天边还遥远 勇气怎么出现

当我终于住进你的心里
分享同一个世界
身后错过痛过漫长情节
都变甜美

只有我了解 这幸福感觉
美得值得去付出一切
能够遇见你认识你喜欢你爱上你
感谢我每滴眼泪

只有你明白 我有多珍贵
好得值得你为我改变
请你继续温柔 交换我 灿烂笑容
一天一天 到永远那一天

Yeh 爱上你有多幸运
像是天使的礼物
我们不要辜负这幸福
一定要更加幸福
如果爱 真的是 那么的少
我们就
一起守护我们得来不易的爱不被打扰

一片片落叶 为开出个花园
手牵手捱过整个冬天
每只蝴蝶 为了飞
为了翩翩起舞 先做一个茧

最美海岸线 总是要很蜿蜒
才足够让人忘返流连
你的身边 要不是
比天边还遥远 勇气怎么出现

当你终于走到我的面前
完整所有的画面
就算苦辣酸甜尝过一遍
只剩喜悦

只有我了解 这幸福感觉
美得值得去付出一切
能够遇见你认识你喜欢你爱上你
感谢我每滴眼泪

只有你明白 我有多珍贵
好得值得你为我改变
请你继续温柔 交换我 灿烂笑容
一天一天 到永远那一天

像是大雨过后晴朗的天 宽阔而耀眼
每个黎明都 需要有夜成全
往回看每兜一个圈
每一条迂回的曲线
都是为爱上你必须留的伏线

只有我了解 这幸福感觉
美得值得去付出一切
能够遇见你认识你喜欢你爱上你
感谢我每滴眼泪

只有你明白 我有多珍贵
好得值得你为我改变
请你继续温柔 交换我 灿烂笑容
一天一天 到永远那一天

tell me.

seriously, how do you work with people who always play hide-and-seek with you?

みらい

说远不远，说近不近。

why is it that when you're indifferent pple can't be bothered and complain about your behaviour, when you start to show concern their response is that of indifference or they don't want your concern?

solitude

i miss you...

reminder

i am not alone.

wow.

I take lesser than 15 min to bathe... :D

雨爱

窗外的天气
就像是 你多变的表情
下雨了 雨陪我哭泣
看不清 我也不想看清

离开你 我安静的抽离
不忍揭晓的剧情
我的泪流在心里
学会放弃

听雨的声音 一滴滴清晰
你的呼吸象雨滴渗入我的爱里
真希望雨能下不停
让想念继续 让爱变透明
我爱上给我勇气的 Rainie love

久违的雨滴 一滴滴累积
屋内的湿气象储存爱你的记忆
真希望雨能下不停
雨爱的秘密 能一直延续
我相信 我将会看到 彩虹的美丽

冷冷的空氣
很窒息 我無法呼吸
一萬顆雨滴的距離
很徹底慢慢消失無形

離開你 我安靜的抽離
不忍揭曉的劇情
我的淚流在心裡
學會放棄

聽雨的聲音 一滴滴清晰
你的呼吸像雨滴滲入我的愛裡
真希望雨能下不停
讓想念繼續 讓愛變透明
我愛上給我勇氣的 Rainie love

窗外的雨滴 一滴滴累積
屋內的濕氣像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停
雨愛的秘密能一直延續
我相信我將會看到
彩虹的美麗

屋內的濕氣像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停
雨愛的秘密能一直延續
我相信我將會看到
彩虹的美麗

.

i know nothing.