like this new layout? actually i find it a little too overcrowded... this is best viewed in internet explorer... it wun look -that- messy... but unfortunately i'm using mozilla... =S
on a side note... i drew the picture on the left... spent half the day trying to colour it... first i used watercolour... turns out i totally lack the skill... so i tried to use computer to colour it... oh well... guess i'm not cut out to be some animator or manga artist... wahahaha~
i'll post more on this layout... it is actually sorta inspired by a story i got to know... i guess only a few would know of this story... called ice and dark...
just a few days more before i can finally crawl out of my hermit shell... *not that i'm in it now anyway*
and i've got loads to rant on... imagine all 1 month's worth of posts all built up and stuff... when i explode... ahems... just... be careful... wahaha~
okies... onto the story... ice and dark...
29 April 2006
Ice and Dark
Ice and Dark
Once upon a time, a simple peasant girl called Freedert lived in a village. There were two boys whom she was friends with when she was young, Elliot and Kael. The three of them were always together. However at some point, Elliot and Freedert fell in love with one another. Elliot was the son of a fedual lord who lorded over a great expanse of land. Due to the social difference between the couple, nobody around them would accept their love. Yet, their love only deepened, and no matter what others said, they were happy. They promised to be together forever.
However, war began, and Elliot was to defend the village. "I will definitely come back alive", Elliot told Freedert. Believing his words, Freedert gave Elliot a sword to protect himself.
On the morning Elliot was to leave, he asked Kael, his best friend who he believed could be trusted, to look after Freedert. However, Kael was also madly in love with Freedert, enough to make him hate his best friend.
Kael went to the work of art that had been handed down in the village -- the Second Hand of Time, believed to be the guardian of time, and made a forbidden wish.
"Please, stop Elliot's time. I know that I'm wrong to ask this, but... I don't want Freedert to belong to him... If Elliot dies in battle, I'm sure Freedert will..."
Elliot took a spear in the back and died in battle while protecting the last fortress protecting the village. That spear had the shape of a giant second hand.
Hearing news of Elliot's death, Freedert ran to the Second Hand of Time and prayed.
"Please give all of my time to him."
The artwork granted her wish. Freedert's time was given to Elliot, and he returned to life. Instead of a pool of his own blood, Elliot was surrounded by the scarlet roses that Freedert had loved. He returned to the village, where he saw a cold gravestone with Freedert's name carved upon it. This time, Elliot went to the Second Hand of Time and prayed.
"If it is her light that is giving me life, I return this light to her."
With that, Elliot drew the sword Freedert had given to protect him, and stabbed himself.
At the foot of the Second Hand of Time where Elliot had fallen, the sword emitted a strange light...
Kael's End
Kael never though that his wish would lead to the death of his beloved Freedert. He continually suffered from regret and dispair. Then, after writing the story "Ice and Dark" as a way to pass the story down, and as a confession, he was finally allowed to die.
Elliot's sword became known as the "Link Pin of Time" and went missing after Kael's death...
The Second Hand of Time
The Second Hand of Time cannot move time that had been stopped. All it could do was to freeze Freedert's time when she made her wish. Ever since, Freedert's soul and the Second Hand of Time exist as one, frozen within the artwork.
The Second Hand of Time saved Freedert from the clutches of death, while Freedert saved the artwork from being destroyed by its makers out of fear of the magic harboured by the artpiece. The makers were touched by Freedert's strong feelings, thus the Second Hand of Time was spared from its fate.
In the meantime, Freedert waited for Elliot, believing that he would return to her side someday. Though Elliot was already dead, Freedert believed his soul was still alive. It might be in a different vessel, but Freedert was certain he was searching for her...
The Fate of the Second Hand of Time
However, the Second Hand of Time was being worn down as time passes, and it reached the end of its time.
Just before Freedert disappears together with the Second Hand of Time, the Link Pin of Time was uncovered by the descendant of the Second Hand of Time's makers. In an attempt to grant the artwork's last wish, the descendant delievered Elliot's sword to the Second Hand of Time.
Freedert was dying within the Second Hand of Time when she saw Elliot falling through the air towards her. Bursting with joy that her wait was not in vain, she embraced Elliot, and they finally fulfilled their promise to be together forever. However, Elliot's soul was actually in the form of the sword, and it pierced through Freedert's soul, releasing a flurry of scarlet rose petals...
And the Second Hand of Time shattered...
No matter what happens,
never let go of the person important to you.
Don't choose death
in order to protect them.
No matter what happens,
you must live to protect them.
Humans tried to capture time, which has no shape, to make something.
So that humans, who are not eternal, can believe in eternity...
*special thanks/credits to the subbers at #shounen.AI for the translation... this story was originally presented in japanese in an anime...
Caged Bird
高く どのくらい 飛んでいったら
遙か遠くの 君が みえなくなるの？
瞳 そらせば 樂になるのかもしれない
でも いつもどこかで 見つめていたい
忘れることなんて できはしないから
なす術もなく 空を見上げてるだけ
まるで籠の中の 小さな鳥のように
窗を探して あてもなく さまよっている
今すぐに會いたい 君が好きだから
傷つくことが 恐くて逃げたいけど
見えない柵に 翼 囚われても
それでも君は 悲しいほど 大切な人
takaku dono kurai tonde ittara
haruka tooku no kimi ga mienaku naru no?
hitomi soraseba raku ni naru no kamo shirenai
demo itsumo dokoka de mitsumete itai
wasureru koto nante deki wa shinai kara
nasu sube mo naku sora wo miageteru dake
marude kago no kana no chiisana tori no you ni
mado wo sagashite atemo naku samayotte iru
ima sugu ni aitai kimi ga suki dakara
kizutsuku koto ga kowakute nigetai kedo
mienai shigarami ni tsubasa torawaretemo
sore demo kimi wa kanashii hodo taisetsu na hito
Hitomi soraseba raku ni naru kamo shirenai
Demo itsumo dokoka de mitsumete itai
How high would I have to fly
To lose sight of you, so far away?
If I turn my eyes away, I might feel better.
But I want to always be looking at you from somewhere.
Because there's no way I could forget you.
At my wits' end, I simply keep staring up at the sky.
It's almost as if I were like a small bird inside a cage,
Searching for the window, aimlessly wandering around.
I want to see you right away, because I love you,
Even though I want to run away because I'm scared of being hurt.
If this unseen barrier around me should tear away my wings,
Still, you are so precious to me that it makes me sad.
Once upon a time, a simple peasant girl called Freedert lived in a village. There were two boys whom she was friends with when she was young, Elliot and Kael. The three of them were always together. However at some point, Elliot and Freedert fell in love with one another. Elliot was the son of a fedual lord who lorded over a great expanse of land. Due to the social difference between the couple, nobody around them would accept their love. Yet, their love only deepened, and no matter what others said, they were happy. They promised to be together forever.
However, war began, and Elliot was to defend the village. "I will definitely come back alive", Elliot told Freedert. Believing his words, Freedert gave Elliot a sword to protect himself.
On the morning Elliot was to leave, he asked Kael, his best friend who he believed could be trusted, to look after Freedert. However, Kael was also madly in love with Freedert, enough to make him hate his best friend.
Kael went to the work of art that had been handed down in the village -- the Second Hand of Time, believed to be the guardian of time, and made a forbidden wish.
"Please, stop Elliot's time. I know that I'm wrong to ask this, but... I don't want Freedert to belong to him... If Elliot dies in battle, I'm sure Freedert will..."
Elliot took a spear in the back and died in battle while protecting the last fortress protecting the village. That spear had the shape of a giant second hand.
Hearing news of Elliot's death, Freedert ran to the Second Hand of Time and prayed.
"Please give all of my time to him."
The artwork granted her wish. Freedert's time was given to Elliot, and he returned to life. Instead of a pool of his own blood, Elliot was surrounded by the scarlet roses that Freedert had loved. He returned to the village, where he saw a cold gravestone with Freedert's name carved upon it. This time, Elliot went to the Second Hand of Time and prayed.
"If it is her light that is giving me life, I return this light to her."
With that, Elliot drew the sword Freedert had given to protect him, and stabbed himself.
At the foot of the Second Hand of Time where Elliot had fallen, the sword emitted a strange light...
Kael's End
Kael never though that his wish would lead to the death of his beloved Freedert. He continually suffered from regret and dispair. Then, after writing the story "Ice and Dark" as a way to pass the story down, and as a confession, he was finally allowed to die.
Elliot's sword became known as the "Link Pin of Time" and went missing after Kael's death...
The Second Hand of Time
The Second Hand of Time cannot move time that had been stopped. All it could do was to freeze Freedert's time when she made her wish. Ever since, Freedert's soul and the Second Hand of Time exist as one, frozen within the artwork.
The Second Hand of Time saved Freedert from the clutches of death, while Freedert saved the artwork from being destroyed by its makers out of fear of the magic harboured by the artpiece. The makers were touched by Freedert's strong feelings, thus the Second Hand of Time was spared from its fate.
In the meantime, Freedert waited for Elliot, believing that he would return to her side someday. Though Elliot was already dead, Freedert believed his soul was still alive. It might be in a different vessel, but Freedert was certain he was searching for her...
The Fate of the Second Hand of Time
However, the Second Hand of Time was being worn down as time passes, and it reached the end of its time.
Just before Freedert disappears together with the Second Hand of Time, the Link Pin of Time was uncovered by the descendant of the Second Hand of Time's makers. In an attempt to grant the artwork's last wish, the descendant delievered Elliot's sword to the Second Hand of Time.
Freedert was dying within the Second Hand of Time when she saw Elliot falling through the air towards her. Bursting with joy that her wait was not in vain, she embraced Elliot, and they finally fulfilled their promise to be together forever. However, Elliot's soul was actually in the form of the sword, and it pierced through Freedert's soul, releasing a flurry of scarlet rose petals...
And the Second Hand of Time shattered...
No matter what happens,
never let go of the person important to you.
Don't choose death
in order to protect them.
No matter what happens,
you must live to protect them.
Humans tried to capture time, which has no shape, to make something.
So that humans, who are not eternal, can believe in eternity...
*special thanks/credits to the subbers at #shounen.AI for the translation... this story was originally presented in japanese in an anime...
Caged Bird
高く どのくらい 飛んでいったら
遙か遠くの 君が みえなくなるの？
瞳 そらせば 樂になるのかもしれない
でも いつもどこかで 見つめていたい
忘れることなんて できはしないから
なす術もなく 空を見上げてるだけ
まるで籠の中の 小さな鳥のように
窗を探して あてもなく さまよっている
今すぐに會いたい 君が好きだから
傷つくことが 恐くて逃げたいけど
見えない柵に 翼 囚われても
それでも君は 悲しいほど 大切な人
takaku dono kurai tonde ittara
haruka tooku no kimi ga mienaku naru no?
hitomi soraseba raku ni naru no kamo shirenai
demo itsumo dokoka de mitsumete itai
wasureru koto nante deki wa shinai kara
nasu sube mo naku sora wo miageteru dake
marude kago no kana no chiisana tori no you ni
mado wo sagashite atemo naku samayotte iru
ima sugu ni aitai kimi ga suki dakara
kizutsuku koto ga kowakute nigetai kedo
mienai shigarami ni tsubasa torawaretemo
sore demo kimi wa kanashii hodo taisetsu na hito
Hitomi soraseba raku ni naru kamo shirenai
Demo itsumo dokoka de mitsumete itai
How high would I have to fly
To lose sight of you, so far away?
If I turn my eyes away, I might feel better.
But I want to always be looking at you from somewhere.
Because there's no way I could forget you.
At my wits' end, I simply keep staring up at the sky.
It's almost as if I were like a small bird inside a cage,
Searching for the window, aimlessly wandering around.
I want to see you right away, because I love you,
Even though I want to run away because I'm scared of being hurt.
If this unseen barrier around me should tear away my wings,
Still, you are so precious to me that it makes me sad.
03 April 2006
this shall be my last post before i officially go into the mountains to become a hermit to mug hard n concentrate for my exams.
up till now... i don't even know what i have been doing. for a while these two days i thought i had found my goal... that is to work hard to maintain my gpa, if not increase it... but look at today... i just flunked my two tests... i doubt anyone will believe if i said that infront of my tutorial mates... i don't know how i feel... ashamed? indifferent? worried? i seriously have no idea. for the first time out of 7 questions in physics i only know how to do 2... and i've got the formula list with me somemore?! wth is going on with me? i kinda hate myself now.
i realised i have lost my motivation to study. kinda depressed now... no idea why that's the case, or whatever that's bothering me. maybe it's bad karma for all the bad things i've done this semester and maybe in the past as well. heaven is fair. it rewards those who worked hard enough and "punishes" those who slacked. oh well i admit i slacked quite a lot this sem... i wasn't very serious... and i lost my determination so damn easily. so whoever that's up there... i think they're having a good laugh at me.
reflecting on the day now... i think it sux. first i flunk the two tests... secondly i tripped on a step on the staircase... i malu myself in front of a guy in my class... in addition i think i accidentally strained my ankle... then after that when i went home on the bus i banged my head on the ceiling of the double decker bus. when i reached home i realise that there had been a huge swarm of bees that "invaded" my parent's room... and my parents had spent the afternoon getting rid of that huge hive... but still there were some fly around in my house... when i went home i was damn freaked out by the lone bee in the bathroom... din dare to bathe... the whole house was enclosed... all windows shut in fear of the remaining bees outside my house would come in from the bathroom window... i guess my family got irritated by me for my fear of bees... and i'm the only one in the family squealing with the bees whether dead or alive in wherever i was... sighz. i'm scared of bees. i'm scared of things that fly. i admit i'm selfish cos i don't wana help u guys to "clear" the bees cos i'm scared of those bees... so i'm sorry i can't do anything to help u guys...
geez. i really hate myself.
what's wrong with me?
i don't even have a single idea.
just that... maybe there's too much things running around in my head now... i don't even know how to sort them out properly.
am i happy? sad?
maybe i'm just lost.
procrastinating wouldn't help! for goodness sake. stop it!
i think i'm going hysterical.
up till now... i don't even know what i have been doing. for a while these two days i thought i had found my goal... that is to work hard to maintain my gpa, if not increase it... but look at today... i just flunked my two tests... i doubt anyone will believe if i said that infront of my tutorial mates... i don't know how i feel... ashamed? indifferent? worried? i seriously have no idea. for the first time out of 7 questions in physics i only know how to do 2... and i've got the formula list with me somemore?! wth is going on with me? i kinda hate myself now.
i realised i have lost my motivation to study. kinda depressed now... no idea why that's the case, or whatever that's bothering me. maybe it's bad karma for all the bad things i've done this semester and maybe in the past as well. heaven is fair. it rewards those who worked hard enough and "punishes" those who slacked. oh well i admit i slacked quite a lot this sem... i wasn't very serious... and i lost my determination so damn easily. so whoever that's up there... i think they're having a good laugh at me.
reflecting on the day now... i think it sux. first i flunk the two tests... secondly i tripped on a step on the staircase... i malu myself in front of a guy in my class... in addition i think i accidentally strained my ankle... then after that when i went home on the bus i banged my head on the ceiling of the double decker bus. when i reached home i realise that there had been a huge swarm of bees that "invaded" my parent's room... and my parents had spent the afternoon getting rid of that huge hive... but still there were some fly around in my house... when i went home i was damn freaked out by the lone bee in the bathroom... din dare to bathe... the whole house was enclosed... all windows shut in fear of the remaining bees outside my house would come in from the bathroom window... i guess my family got irritated by me for my fear of bees... and i'm the only one in the family squealing with the bees whether dead or alive in wherever i was... sighz. i'm scared of bees. i'm scared of things that fly. i admit i'm selfish cos i don't wana help u guys to "clear" the bees cos i'm scared of those bees... so i'm sorry i can't do anything to help u guys...
geez. i really hate myself.
what's wrong with me?
i don't even have a single idea.
just that... maybe there's too much things running around in my head now... i don't even know how to sort them out properly.
am i happy? sad?
maybe i'm just lost.
procrastinating wouldn't help! for goodness sake. stop it!
i think i'm going hysterical.
01 April 2006
tried to study at macs today... in the end got chased away cos they wanted to use the seat i occupied for the birthday party... siandeds i left macs... went to loiter around west mall... before that sundoll guy popped by macs... passed me manga... got me surprised earlier cos he tricked me saying he was at my house there ask me go down to get stuff from him when i mugging in macs... yeap that was the first and probably the only april fool's day joke i'll receive today anyway... haha~
anyway... went west mall... walked around aimlessly... went to the library in hope that perhaps i could mug there... found a seat there... and only to realise... that it was the same exact seat i sat down at slightly more than a year ago... strangely that memory was still fresh... and that was all to sorta sink my mood.
i remembered i had lunch break that time... i was still working at west mall atrium there... and i had quickly ate lunch... so that i could go to the library, find a place to do my cross stitch... i remembered how happy i was... despite how tiring it was... yet... now... that unfinished cross stitch stood lying in my room, somewhere hidden away...
enough. i thought i had buried you away into the depths of my memories... but u still came back.
够了。这难道是你在愚人节对我开的玩笑吗？
够了。我不想再听到你说的谎言。
够了。我根本就不再需要你了。
够了。请你让我自由。
我要快乐
歌手：张惠妹 专辑：我要快乐
又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐 我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐 我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的
anyway... went west mall... walked around aimlessly... went to the library in hope that perhaps i could mug there... found a seat there... and only to realise... that it was the same exact seat i sat down at slightly more than a year ago... strangely that memory was still fresh... and that was all to sorta sink my mood.
i remembered i had lunch break that time... i was still working at west mall atrium there... and i had quickly ate lunch... so that i could go to the library, find a place to do my cross stitch... i remembered how happy i was... despite how tiring it was... yet... now... that unfinished cross stitch stood lying in my room, somewhere hidden away...
enough. i thought i had buried you away into the depths of my memories... but u still came back.
够了。这难道是你在愚人节对我开的玩笑吗？
够了。我不想再听到你说的谎言。
够了。我根本就不再需要你了。
够了。请你让我自由。
我要快乐
歌手：张惠妹 专辑：我要快乐
又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐 我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐 我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的
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