feeling slightly better today.... was having a fever yesterday and kept popping panadol... pon lectures in the morning yesterday to get more sleep so today bo bian unless super ultra sick or else muz go lecture in the morning... despite sleeping late last night cos cannot get to sleep.. somehow i woke up super early in the morning and was 1 of the first few to reach the lt... zZz....
boring lectures as usual... but the journey home was kinda frustrating... cos feeling a bit tireds le... den at interchange waiting for 945 the bus took so long *like probably 20min to come* and i got quite fed up lar... cos i wanted to go home and sleep badly before my tuition laters.... at that point in time i was seriously thinking of going to their office there to complain... hahaha... so now i finally realise y some pple like to complain alot... hahaha...
on the bus... saw these 4 boys... think sec 1 bah... quite small size... overheard their conversation which was quite furnies... okies boys and gurls, ladies and gentlemen.... point ur right finger to ur stomach and say M.... next move ur finger up a little and say T... then continue moving ur finger up all the way to ur forehead and keep repeating the words M and T...
since the bus took such a long time to come... the bus was really crowded... at the first stop everybody was squeezed like packed sardines and more primary school students boarded the bus... then there was this really loud auntie whose hair was juz starting to turn white... as the bus started moving she started complaining infront of another 4 hillgrove sec boys... 现在的年轻人啊。。。已经不懂得什么势礼貌了。。。巴士挤，年轻人坐、老人站。。。 then one of the hillgrove boys was like buay tahan... started saying... 好啦。。。让你坐吧。。。 and the 阿婆 said... 坐哪里？坐你的腿？ then the guy quite pissed off by the way the 阿婆 say things ar... den he replied...放屁~ and the 阿婆 said... 哇。。。很臭！
dunno y lar... i was kinda pissed by that 阿婆 cos 1. she no need talk so loudly on the whole bus until everybody can hear... 2. pple nice to u when u complain pple let u take seat then u still act hard to please for wad. -_- seriously speaking... if i were the guy i juz pretend i ang mo dun understand wad she say lar... and btw... when she talk abt 年轻人坐、老人站 she ownself admit she old hor. and her hair wasn't totally white lor... so she wasn't that old... -_-
budden the hillgrove guy shouldn't have said 放屁 lar... that's being disrespectful...
but seriously speaking... if anyone were to meet with such a situation how would u react? hmms... that's something i'm pondering now... -_-
aniwae... in the end... i got off at the next stop... so the 阿婆 squeeze all the way to my seat there and sat down... so i guess everything was resolved... -_-
29 August 2005
you don't need to die to be forgotten...
the flu bug is quite contagious these days... pple start coughing and sneezing during tutorials classes *which is the only class i had todae* and after sitting beside shing yeong last thurs... poor meng bin on her left was in quite a bad shape today... sneezing and blowing his nose as though as he's a girl crying after watching some korean drama... and to her right... was me... with a terrible sore throat... and the next target shall be...... heh...
supposedly cos of our 50th anniversary.... lessons are cancelled in the afternoon... and it took me 1 hour to travel to school, less than 1 hour of econs tutorial... and 2 hours to get home cos everybody was trying to squeeze onto the 179 bus and rush home on their early day off... -_- got stranded on ntu campus for 1 hour lo.. that's record breaking...
this is NOT the optimal equilibrium, according to the principle of economics... since the opportunity cost of me turning up for econs tutorial far outweighs the benefit i gain from it... (since i only gain less than 1 hour worth of knowledge and lose 3 hours of precious time) by cost benefit principle which is a fundemental concept in economics i should make the most rational choice of poning econs tutorial. so i shouldn't have turned up in school todae... and tell my econs tutor that i'm simply applying knowledge i learnt in econs to my everyday life and in fact he should award me for having mastered this concept. ha~
and when i reached home... yuchun came online and asked me whether i was going for the 50th anniversary celebrations talk of some sort... with lee hsien loong coming as guest speaker... and actually we were supposed to turn up or something... i was puzzled cos i wasn't informed or anything... then she asked me... y u think our afternoon lessons were cancelled for? and i replied... for us to go home lor... heh~ the irony is that she was oso at home at the point in time when she was chatting with me... hahahaha~
yar. that's school life for u. -_-
------------------------------------------------------------
the flu bug is quite contagious these days... pple start coughing and sneezing during tutorials classes *which is the only class i had todae* and after sitting beside shing yeong last thurs... poor meng bin on her left was in quite a bad shape today... sneezing and blowing his nose as though as he's a girl crying after watching some korean drama... and to her right... was me... with a terrible sore throat... and the next target shall be...... heh...
supposedly cos of our 50th anniversary.... lessons are cancelled in the afternoon... and it took me 1 hour to travel to school, less than 1 hour of econs tutorial... and 2 hours to get home cos everybody was trying to squeeze onto the 179 bus and rush home on their early day off... -_- got stranded on ntu campus for 1 hour lo.. that's record breaking...
this is NOT the optimal equilibrium, according to the principle of economics... since the opportunity cost of me turning up for econs tutorial far outweighs the benefit i gain from it... (since i only gain less than 1 hour worth of knowledge and lose 3 hours of precious time) by cost benefit principle which is a fundemental concept in economics i should make the most rational choice of poning econs tutorial. so i shouldn't have turned up in school todae... and tell my econs tutor that i'm simply applying knowledge i learnt in econs to my everyday life and in fact he should award me for having mastered this concept. ha~
and when i reached home... yuchun came online and asked me whether i was going for the 50th anniversary celebrations talk of some sort... with lee hsien loong coming as guest speaker... and actually we were supposed to turn up or something... i was puzzled cos i wasn't informed or anything... then she asked me... y u think our afternoon lessons were cancelled for? and i replied... for us to go home lor... heh~ the irony is that she was oso at home at the point in time when she was chatting with me... hahahaha~
yar. that's school life for u. -_-
你快乐吗？
你说你不快乐。
说什么。。。想拥有自由、做出自己喜欢的选择。。。结果最后整天唠叨。。。说得不到幸福。。。其实幸福就在你身旁，只是你连看都不看它一眼。。。继续沉浸在自我同情中。。。
那着跟你当初下定决心，离开伤心地时的你有什么分别？干脆不用作出任何举动。。。继续留在苦海中。这不是你。真正的你是个我行我素、不让周围的人影响的你。那又何必装难过呢？是想博取别人的同情？还是博取自己的同情？
或许你说我没资格说你。没资格有怎样？就像你一样。。。我爱说什么就说。这就是我的性格。就好像你。。。爱说话的时候才开口，不想说的时候就保持沉默，从不须顾虑到别人的感受。这种生活多么轻松。。。就算被别人丢丑鸡蛋也无所谓。。。因为这就是你。这也就是我。
我也终于明白为什么我会如此在乎。。。原来我们是那么不同，却又是那么相同。要是没有遇见你，那该多好。。。
你说你不快乐。
说什么。。。想拥有自由、做出自己喜欢的选择。。。结果最后整天唠叨。。。说得不到幸福。。。其实幸福就在你身旁，只是你连看都不看它一眼。。。继续沉浸在自我同情中。。。
那着跟你当初下定决心，离开伤心地时的你有什么分别？干脆不用作出任何举动。。。继续留在苦海中。这不是你。真正的你是个我行我素、不让周围的人影响的你。那又何必装难过呢？是想博取别人的同情？还是博取自己的同情？
或许你说我没资格说你。没资格有怎样？就像你一样。。。我爱说什么就说。这就是我的性格。就好像你。。。爱说话的时候才开口，不想说的时候就保持沉默，从不须顾虑到别人的感受。这种生活多么轻松。。。就算被别人丢丑鸡蛋也无所谓。。。因为这就是你。这也就是我。
我也终于明白为什么我会如此在乎。。。原来我们是那么不同，却又是那么相同。要是没有遇见你，那该多好。。。
24 August 2005
forever like that
nothing ever changes
it's just him
or maybe it was me
being too noisy
as usual
just like that
we're always like that
nothing more, nothing less
moving forward brings pain
stepping back brings sorrow
frozen in the stagnant world
staring at how the sun rises and sets each day
looking at how places age with time
unmoving, unfeeling
unable to do a thing
u're right
i can't forget
those happy and sad memories
what about u
perhaps we're both the same
limiting ourselves to make ourselves feel better
telling ourselves we're trying to spare others of pain
but in actual fact denying how we're afraid to be hurt again
and so we stay stuck up in our facades
building the wall around us
on one hand hoping someone would be able to break through
on the other hand constantly shutting those who come close
loneliness shouldn't be a reason why people are together
love shouldn't arise from trial and error of partners
too many sad endings too little smiles
how many relationships actually survive the trial of time?
i'm sick of hearing sad stories
we want more happy endings
just like those soap operas
where all couples live happily ever after
where all tears cease to flow
where all rainy days end with a huge rainbow across the sky
i shouldn't have raised my voice
it wasn't your fault
i just couldn't let go
the pain's too great
but that's not an excuse
it's not justified
i must have hurt u quite a bit
i just couldn't hold my temper
pls forgive me my dear friend
nothing ever changes
it's just him
or maybe it was me
being too noisy
as usual
just like that
we're always like that
nothing more, nothing less
moving forward brings pain
stepping back brings sorrow
frozen in the stagnant world
staring at how the sun rises and sets each day
looking at how places age with time
unmoving, unfeeling
unable to do a thing
u're right
i can't forget
those happy and sad memories
what about u
perhaps we're both the same
limiting ourselves to make ourselves feel better
telling ourselves we're trying to spare others of pain
but in actual fact denying how we're afraid to be hurt again
and so we stay stuck up in our facades
building the wall around us
on one hand hoping someone would be able to break through
on the other hand constantly shutting those who come close
loneliness shouldn't be a reason why people are together
love shouldn't arise from trial and error of partners
too many sad endings too little smiles
how many relationships actually survive the trial of time?
i'm sick of hearing sad stories
we want more happy endings
just like those soap operas
where all couples live happily ever after
where all tears cease to flow
where all rainy days end with a huge rainbow across the sky
i shouldn't have raised my voice
it wasn't your fault
i just couldn't let go
the pain's too great
but that's not an excuse
it's not justified
i must have hurt u quite a bit
i just couldn't hold my temper
pls forgive me my dear friend
21 August 2005
いま、会いにゆきます
after so much struggle... saying how romance movies should never be watched alone but with either your loved one or ur closest friends...
i finally gave up and bought the vcd and watched at home alone. -__-
the title of the movie is called いま、会いにゆきます, translated to chinese 借着雨点说爱你, translated to english be with you... and even though i knew the entire plot cos i pester my kor to tell me... in the end it was a great movie nevertherless... made me cry like a crybaby... once the movie started my tears started rolling liao... quite embarrassing... so... oh well... good thing i watched alone... hehehe~
it had been a long time since i had been so absorbed by a movie or anything... i usually start munching on tidbits non-stop once i start watching a show but this time i left the food alone... lolz... besides... it's a long time since i teared for a good movie... =) not cos it's time to cry cos it's a sad ending... but cos it's so beautiful yet so... 凄美... so my 眼泪像一个关不上的水龙头流个不停... then my mum was nagging at me while i was crying at the movie... -_- quite contradictory lar.... siandeds... should have watched in theatre or something... =(
and finally todae i reached to a conclusion on certain stuff... like when and who are allowed on movie dates... (hahaha~) and heartiest wishes to the couples out there... to be with each other till death do they part... =)
i finally gave up and bought the vcd and watched at home alone. -__-
the title of the movie is called いま、会いにゆきます, translated to chinese 借着雨点说爱你, translated to english be with you... and even though i knew the entire plot cos i pester my kor to tell me... in the end it was a great movie nevertherless... made me cry like a crybaby... once the movie started my tears started rolling liao... quite embarrassing... so... oh well... good thing i watched alone... hehehe~
it had been a long time since i had been so absorbed by a movie or anything... i usually start munching on tidbits non-stop once i start watching a show but this time i left the food alone... lolz... besides... it's a long time since i teared for a good movie... =) not cos it's time to cry cos it's a sad ending... but cos it's so beautiful yet so... 凄美... so my 眼泪像一个关不上的水龙头流个不停... then my mum was nagging at me while i was crying at the movie... -_- quite contradictory lar.... siandeds... should have watched in theatre or something... =(
and finally todae i reached to a conclusion on certain stuff... like when and who are allowed on movie dates... (hahaha~) and heartiest wishes to the couples out there... to be with each other till death do they part... =)
20 August 2005
stop probing about my private life. if you have not been told directly by me it means 1. i don't want others to know and 2. you have no need to know. so stop questioning me. you wouldn't grow 10cm taller or grow more handsome/chio when u know all the juicy juicy bits of my life. besides it doesn't concern you a single bit. so juz buzz off and leave me alone.
and those people who can decide to dao other pple's sms juz cos they don't want to fulfil what they had said before... i've got nothing to say. at least an excuse would make things better, but oh well, if that's the way you view your "promise" and your friendship i'm sad for you cos u'll probably lose some friends in the process.
ya i'm tired of all those hypocritical stuff. what is it of friendship now? it makes me more convinced of what i thought of friendship beforehand though i would love to have been proven wrong. then i guess... that's... juz too bad.
so juz let me live in my secluded drain and dun come and disturb me. -_- when the rain has cleared then maybe i'll consider coming out.
and those people who can decide to dao other pple's sms juz cos they don't want to fulfil what they had said before... i've got nothing to say. at least an excuse would make things better, but oh well, if that's the way you view your "promise" and your friendship i'm sad for you cos u'll probably lose some friends in the process.
ya i'm tired of all those hypocritical stuff. what is it of friendship now? it makes me more convinced of what i thought of friendship beforehand though i would love to have been proven wrong. then i guess... that's... juz too bad.
so juz let me live in my secluded drain and dun come and disturb me. -_- when the rain has cleared then maybe i'll consider coming out.
15 August 2005
爱情主义
爱情主义
--- 张荣华
现实的人的爱情观
如果爱情有个保用期限，那会是多长呢？
如果爱情在保用期变质，那又该找谁算帐？
如果我身上只剩$10，我会把一半分给你，另一半留给自己。
浪漫主义的人的爱情观
如果爱情有个保用期限，那会是永远。
如果爱情在保用期变质，那是不可能发生的事。
如果我身上只剩$10，我会花$9.95买一朵玫瑰花；再用剩下的$0.05 SMS 一句“我爱你”。
懒惰的人的爱情观
如果爱情有个保用期限，那就别爱吧!
如果爱情在保用期变质，那就别爱吧！
如果我身上只剩$10，那就别爱吧！
本地人的爱清观
如果爱情有个保用期限 - 爱情有不是电器，要保用期来干嘛？
如果爱情在保用期变质 - 那就算你“衰”咯。
如果我身上只剩$10 - 那我会到ATM按多一点钱出来。
--- 张荣华
现实的人的爱情观
如果爱情有个保用期限，那会是多长呢？
如果爱情在保用期变质，那又该找谁算帐？
如果我身上只剩$10，我会把一半分给你，另一半留给自己。
浪漫主义的人的爱情观
如果爱情有个保用期限，那会是永远。
如果爱情在保用期变质，那是不可能发生的事。
如果我身上只剩$10，我会花$9.95买一朵玫瑰花；再用剩下的$0.05 SMS 一句“我爱你”。
懒惰的人的爱情观
如果爱情有个保用期限，那就别爱吧!
如果爱情在保用期变质，那就别爱吧！
如果我身上只剩$10，那就别爱吧！
本地人的爱清观
如果爱情有个保用期限 - 爱情有不是电器，要保用期来干嘛？
如果爱情在保用期变质 - 那就算你“衰”咯。
如果我身上只剩$10 - 那我会到ATM按多一点钱出来。
13 August 2005
08 August 2005
how far will ur principles take you to? how much will u stick to your own ideals as time goes by?
sometimes... as times go by, your ideals no longer "stand" in the current society... people may view your principles as being old-fashioned, rigid, and inpractical...
and sometimes indeed... upholding your principles is tiring, tedious, and time-consuming...
how long will you be able to stand by those principles you set for yourself in the beginning? or to let them simply detoriate as time passes?
no point being so stubborn about certain issues in life... in the ever fast moving world, there's no place for "old" traditional values to stand... we are no longer punctual, we bend the rules as and when we like... we decide for ourselves what rules have to be followed, what rules aren't rules at all... as individualistic ideas take root in our very society... where have the traditional values of filial piety etc gone to? people no longer see taking care of their eldery parents as being mandatory... "they have the ability to take care of themselves..." these people argued...
but of course... when such insidious effects of individualism get to them... they'll realise how foolish they are. when they're all alone, frail and vulnerable... when their very own children whom they showered care and love for decide to abandon them and lead their own lives.
how long will you remember those painful times when u had to part with your friends? saying that u'll never forget them? how long will you remember those friends who have parted their ways with you?
we used to say that at every parting... when we were young... as soon as we could understand language... but how well would our memory work for us? would u remember your primary school friends? secondary school mates? or anyone who has crossed your life and made even a small difference in your life?
seriously speaking... we would only remember someone when we need help from that person. when that person has some form of "use" for us in the near future. then again... what is friendship? is it just a convienient means for us to exploit the strengths of others for our own benefit?
and after that person's usefulness ended for you, u'll convieniently forget them.
where did the old saying of 为朋友两肋插刀 go to when you don't even remember your friends?
and of course... our favourite topic... love... would you still believe in 天长地久 when the rest of the youth population believe love to be a result of a shopping trip for the best traits they would wish for their potential partner? and of course when they realise that they "bought" the wrong package they throw you away like some junk? what is true love then in our present society?
i can imagine kelvin going... "very bad... very bad..."
sometimes... as times go by, your ideals no longer "stand" in the current society... people may view your principles as being old-fashioned, rigid, and inpractical...
and sometimes indeed... upholding your principles is tiring, tedious, and time-consuming...
how long will you be able to stand by those principles you set for yourself in the beginning? or to let them simply detoriate as time passes?
no point being so stubborn about certain issues in life... in the ever fast moving world, there's no place for "old" traditional values to stand... we are no longer punctual, we bend the rules as and when we like... we decide for ourselves what rules have to be followed, what rules aren't rules at all... as individualistic ideas take root in our very society... where have the traditional values of filial piety etc gone to? people no longer see taking care of their eldery parents as being mandatory... "they have the ability to take care of themselves..." these people argued...
but of course... when such insidious effects of individualism get to them... they'll realise how foolish they are. when they're all alone, frail and vulnerable... when their very own children whom they showered care and love for decide to abandon them and lead their own lives.
how long will you remember those painful times when u had to part with your friends? saying that u'll never forget them? how long will you remember those friends who have parted their ways with you?
we used to say that at every parting... when we were young... as soon as we could understand language... but how well would our memory work for us? would u remember your primary school friends? secondary school mates? or anyone who has crossed your life and made even a small difference in your life?
seriously speaking... we would only remember someone when we need help from that person. when that person has some form of "use" for us in the near future. then again... what is friendship? is it just a convienient means for us to exploit the strengths of others for our own benefit?
and after that person's usefulness ended for you, u'll convieniently forget them.
where did the old saying of 为朋友两肋插刀 go to when you don't even remember your friends?
and of course... our favourite topic... love... would you still believe in 天长地久 when the rest of the youth population believe love to be a result of a shopping trip for the best traits they would wish for their potential partner? and of course when they realise that they "bought" the wrong package they throw you away like some junk? what is true love then in our present society?
i can imagine kelvin going... "very bad... very bad..."
04 August 2005
weird dreamz~
i had weird dreams last night...
probably cos i was watching 谈判专家 before i slept... then peng-sir tried to commit suicide by pouring alcohol all over himself and trying to light a fire....
i dreamt i tried commiting suicide twice. -_-
first is... no surprise.. i tried to light up myself when i'm drenched in alcohol... *see? watch too much tv* but somehow i couldn't find the lighter... -__- *that's quite sad case isn't it? :P*
so next... just like wad happened in the tv show... pple come and try to stop me from commiting suicide.... so i ran away from those people... first suicide attempt failed... so i ran ran ran until i reach this balcony where i jumped down from it.
suicide attempt 2.
except i jumped down from the third floor...
and i didn't die from that jump. -_-
and i ended up... *still in the dream* with this slight aching of my body. -_-
second suicide attempt failed. -_-
moral of the story... when u wanna commit suicide, make sure u've got a lighter with u... and when u jump down... make sure u jump down from the tenth and higher no of storeys... -___-
probably cos i was watching 谈判专家 before i slept... then peng-sir tried to commit suicide by pouring alcohol all over himself and trying to light a fire....
i dreamt i tried commiting suicide twice. -_-
first is... no surprise.. i tried to light up myself when i'm drenched in alcohol... *see? watch too much tv* but somehow i couldn't find the lighter... -__- *that's quite sad case isn't it? :P*
so next... just like wad happened in the tv show... pple come and try to stop me from commiting suicide.... so i ran away from those people... first suicide attempt failed... so i ran ran ran until i reach this balcony where i jumped down from it.
suicide attempt 2.
except i jumped down from the third floor...
and i didn't die from that jump. -_-
and i ended up... *still in the dream* with this slight aching of my body. -_-
second suicide attempt failed. -_-
moral of the story... when u wanna commit suicide, make sure u've got a lighter with u... and when u jump down... make sure u jump down from the tenth and higher no of storeys... -___-
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