World is Mine!

Somehow this song reminds me of a certain someone... =X



ワールドイズマイン

世界で一番おひめさま
そういう扱い心得てよね

その一いつもと違う髪形に気が付くこと
その二ちゃんと靴まで見ることいいね？
その三わたしの一言には三つの言葉で返事すること
わかったら右手がお留守なのをなんとかして！

別にわがままなんて言ってないんだから
キミに心から思って欲しいのかわいいって

世界で一番おひめさま
気が付いてねえねえ
待たせるなんて論外よ
わたしを誰だと思ってるの？
もう何だかあまいものが食べたい！
いますぐによ

欠点？かわいいの間違いでしょ
文句は許しませんの
あのね？私の話ちゃんと聞いてる？ちょっとぉ…
あ、それとね？白いおうまさん決まってるでしょ？
迎えに来て
わかったらかしずいて手を取って「おひめさま」って

べつにわがままなんて言ってないんだから
でもね少しくらい叱ってくれたっていいのよ？

世界でわたしだけのおうじさま
気が付いてほらほら
おててが空いてます
無口で無愛想なおうじさま
もうどうして！気が付いてよ早く

ぜったいキミはわかってない！わかってないわ…

いちごの乗ったショートケーキ
こだわりたまごのとろけるプリン
みんなみんな我慢します…
わがままな子だと思わないで
わたしだってやればできるもん
あとで後悔するわよ

当然です！だってわたしは

世界で一番おひめさま
ちゃんと見ててよねどこかに行っちゃうよ？
ふいに抱きしめられた急にそんなえっ？
「轢かれる危ないよ」そう言ってそっぽ向くキミ
…こっちのが危ないわよ

doubt.

what is it that i really want to do?

standing at the crossroads, i realized that i have totally no idea.

listening to you guys talking about the ideas you wish to carry out in your own projects, i was awed by how focused you guys are. you know what idea you want to enforce, and you even planned out the tiny steps to take to accomplish the bigger goal.

what do i really want to do?

i just wanted to write stories, and investigate methods that would attract consumers to my ideas.

then what am i doing here?

who exactly am i?

what do i really want to do?

once again, i'm doubtful of my qualities to fulfill my dream.

resolve

suddenly, it felt strangely lonely.

to be working on an assignment that i didn't really feel like doing.

while the rest of the world seemed to be out there enjoying themselves.

am i really up to this?

i seem to lack all the things that is required for my dream to be realized.

am i really suitable?

is my passion perceived just some half hearted and short lived feeling?

so many things to do,

yet seemingly so little time.

and yet i spend the limited time i have on my hands procrastinating...

取舍

我终于明白，人不可以太贪心；好的朋友与好的情侣当中只能二选一。

虽然我非常想要在这两者当中取得平衡，但终究还是得做出取舍。

为了你，我觉得一切都是值得的。

为了你，我会不惜一切地维护我们的感情。

fear.

what is there to fear, when you have done nothing wrong?
what is there to fear, when there is nothing you could do anyways?



why can't things remain as simple as how it first started out?

defense of the... sotong?

it is easy for strangers to become friends.
it is also easy for one to develop fondness for another within just a minute.

but.
there's always a line that one should not step over.
especially when you may not know the other person very well.
even more so when you know that you are not supposed to step over that line.

the first time you step over the line, i can take it that it's by accident.
the second time you do that, i can pretend that it didn't happen.
the third time it happens... i'm sorry, i have to do something to let you know.

although i have no intention of hurting anyone, for self-defense, i'm afraid i have to take this course of action.

maths vs. logic

i love maths logic.

merry-go-round

i remember a few days back i was wondering whether the happiness i hold, or the laughter i have now, would eventually vanish.

"there is no such thing as happiness [that lasts] forever."
"instead of wishing for something impossible, why not work towards prolonging hapiness such that it'll last so long that it's almost forever?"

those words ring in my head now.
the very words i said to motivate someone else.

the answer was within me all along. ^^

「思い出は億千万」

子供の頃　やった事あるよ　色あせた記憶だ
紅白帽頭に　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

子供の頃　懐かしい記憶　カレーとかの時に
銀のスプーン目にあて　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
何かに追われるように毎日生きている

振り返っても（忘れていたアルバムの中に）
あの頃には（馬鹿やってる自分）
戻れない（友達と笑って）　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

今あいつら　どこに居るの？　何をしているの？
答えはぼやけたままで　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
何かに追われるように毎日生きている

君がくれた勇気は　億千万　億千万
過ぎ去りし季節は　ドラマティック

子供の頃　やったことあるね
雑誌に付いてきた3Dメガネかけ　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

大人になり忘れてた記憶
蘇る鮮やかに腕でL字作り　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
何かから逃げるように毎日生きている

振り返っても（古ぼけた日記帳開き）
あの頃には（色褪せたページには）
戻れない（初恋の娘の名前）　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

ただあの頃振り返る　無邪気に笑えた
汚れも知らないままに　ウルトラマン　ウルトラマンセブン

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
何かから逃げるように毎日生きている

見過ごしてた景色は　億千万　億千万
過ぎ去りし季節は　グラフィティ

君がくれた勇気は　億千万　億千万
過ぎ去りし季節は　ドラマチィック

care and concern.

i accidentally came across a blog post from someone i don't know at all... and he/she's clinically depressed. it reminded me of the ... not so distant past...

if i had felt (more) care and concern from the people around me then, would i have recovered quicker?

but then again, was i even clinically depressed?

i was just drifting around.
living in self pity.
drowning in those painful memories.
hurting myself again and again to numb myself.

i wonder if people who know me now would believe i was once pessimistic and simply waiting for the end to come... hallucinating myself with slit wrists and fantasizing about the most painless way of dying...

thinking back to those days brings tears to my eyes.
why did i had to drop into that abyss?
there were so many people around me that were worried about me.
i had not noticed their presence at all.
i brushed off their concern.
i felt that no one could truly understand how i felt.

even now i feel the same way.
how could others feel the way you do if they had never experienced the exact same thing as you did?
but, their concern cannot be erased just because of this.

if i can, i would do all i can to help pull those who are struggling to get out of the abyss...
so that they would not have to endure the long hard years just like i did...

to the one that's struggling now...
i doubt you would be reading this,
but i want to let you know, you are never alone.
it is good that you are aware of your condition.
do not reject it.
do not reject yourself.
do not reject others as well.
go ask your family or friends for a hug.
open up and talk to people.
it is ok to feel negative now.
but never forget, good things will eventually happen.
that is, if you work hard and keep ur spirits up.
jiayous!

ok sorry i think i sounded as though i am preaching. hees.

programming overdose

i dreamt that me and my classmates are to draw a triangle, and we're going around classrooms trying to obtain and transport the data required to draw our object. (eg. vertex location, colour etc.)

omg.

...

i know ur just poking fun at me.
but i'm still a little mad about it.
hmph. still dare hang up on me.
RAWRRRRRS.



ok lars i'm just sulking in my tiny little world. pls don't mind me.

もっと、もっと。。。

日本語で書くこともう何月ぶりだね～日本語は下手になって、ちょっと書く見よかな。。。



今週は災厄だ。お腹が悪くて、毎日痛くて、宿題は何もできなかった。毎日４８時間があればいいな～



「もっと君と一緒の時間を作りたくて、もっとやさしくなりたいんだ。」

君は私が来ないことに失望そうだ。
本当にごめんね。
来週ちゃんと時間を作るから、もうちょっと待っててね。