new year coming!

yeap i know it's still kinda early.... but 1 january 2006 is approaching (kinda sux cos holidays ending soon too) so... it's time to reflect on the past year!

it had been a really tough year and i really wonder how i got through it... but now as i reflect, i no longer feel the pain and how torturous the year was... *probably cos now i'm sipping water and slacking in front of my lappie...*













first time stepping into the work force... though i was only working as part time, and so probably every thing had been toned down... i learnt alot of things... like how to answer phone calls, how to make phone calls *erms... as in the professional sense... i remember last time my parents ask me to call pizza hut for delivery i oso dun dare wahahaha!!!* erms.. filing is... maybe i learnt how to do it more efficiently? lolz~ basically i had been doing admin jobs... realised sales is not really for me, i can't really tahan standing for 10 hours straight... lolz~ learnt that it's quite hard to be professional some times... ie, be able to differentiate and separate feelings from doing your job...

first time earning money... the feeling is good but.. not that fulfilling as well... studying is better than working, but working brings u money? haha~ spending your hard earned money feels good... i mean... splurging on food *yummy yum... XD* and clothes and bags and accessories... now i understand y pple could be so obsessed with earning more cash... but i oso realised when working... that once u start working, and work so hard, until u have no time to stop and rest properly... i only started going out on shopping trips when i stopped working, and during my holidays, and when i'm studying... so it's not too good to work that hard but not use ur money either... i remember when i was working i think i got kinda depressed by work *no thanks to a certain boss who's such a bad example to his co-workers* and so i tried to forge all kinds of excuse to take leave even when i'm only doing part time. i can't imagine myself when i step into the workforce next time... -_-

and yes! tuition! my first tuition was this p4 kid, benedict, who i think some will be familiar with... from my entries this year... about the sentences he make for zao ju... lolz! but too bad his mum gave me the boot... i really dislike his mum... even up till now i cannot forget how she asked her son to tell me that she sacked me... i rather she tell me herself. so much for being sincere and stuff... plus i don't get courtesy from her such as getting a cup of water for tuitioning her kid. -_- and her kid is so daring to lock his tuition teacher out of his house while he takes his comfortable nap for so long. i feel his parents pamper him too much. ok lar, not that i'm a good tuition teacher or what, i oso dun feel like teaching him cos he's hard to teach and i feel i can't really help him... parents these days are just paranoid... he's only p4, and his grades are fairly good... still wanna hire tuition teacher? omg -_-

next student is koh yu... my fav j1 fmaths student... =) though she's so far from my house... and i sometimes malu myself cos i dunno how to do the questions she ask, but i feel that at least i'm helping her improve her grades... and just yesterday i managed to help her understand how to do forces questions! it feels fulfilling to know that she understands what i'm trying to convey... and we can chat with one another about what happened to us... where we went out to... some of the furnie things that happened to us.. =) so yeap! let's work hard next year and whack the fmaths paper for a lvls! XD and thanks for ur christmas card! *though i din give u any... =X*

last but not least, my quiet sec1 kid... sae qin... she's really too quiet until i think i'm preaching to a wall... ok lar at least she nods and stuff... she's smart but she's careless... and cos she's so quiet i don't really know whether she understands what i'm telling her and stuff... she's a little.. erms.. lazy lar... so kinda worried about what i can do for her next year to improve her grades... and she wanna take science in sec 3... so i guess we cannot slack at all for sec 2 streaming... jiayouz!













then... studies... first time stepping into uni... first time my school life is so slack until i'm too slack... i mean... my time table is so spaced out.. we only spend like 18 hours for lessons per week in school... that's way too slack as compared to my jc school time table! and we get to arrange our own time table... everything has to be done by ourselves... we are no longer "spoonfed" with the things we need to do... like to apply for scholarship we need to take our own initiative and stuff... *but looking at the lazy me i'm too lazy to find out the details and stuff so i let the scholarships slip from my fingers... thinking back that's so stupid of me*

and i realised that in uni the classmates u have is only for short term -- we change classmates every half a year... meaning no one actually bothers to forge strong friendships with you... pple just make use of each other, and when u're of no use to him/her they just forget abt u totally... so up till now i don't understand y my previous collegues kept telling me how their uni lives is one of the most fun times in their lives... -_- and how u can find your other half in uni... to me it's like.. bullshit... unless u're living in hall or taking some hiong cca... but for me it's non applicable... for now. =)

and my results for this year... i feel i could have done better... i feel i probably have been too slack... and next sem wouldn't be easy... computing! *omg* and jap! XD and chem! *once again cos i forgot to check my mail to ask to be exempted.. by the time i did that it was 1 week after the deadline.. damn* shet wad's happening to me?! i deserve to be slapped and stuff... -_-













and then... it's relationships...

my relationships with my family has improved... due to alot of reasons... like... now i spend more time at home... like how my father was heng to have survived the car accident unscathed... like how i realised that ur family loves u more than other pple could do... but of course the person who loves u most is yourself. so now i go out with my sis more than i go out with my friends... ironic isn't it... last time i don't even care about going out with my sis or to show concern about her results and stuff... cos i know she doesn't need me to be concerned... somehow it's different now... i guess i've changed alot... and my stupid brother... 1 head taller than me -_- irritating person... play game from the moment he opens his eyes till the moment he close his eyes to sleep every day. -_- then always complain about me dling stuff... say i hog the bandwidth when it's him. hmph. and my mum... lolz! sometimes she drives me nuts... say some things about me which made me really pissed off *like how she compares me to xiaxue that -_-... saying that we're the same. omg. plz. my ethics and hers are totally off... argh come to think of it i'm pissed off again.* but then she does some really furnies stuff oso... like she's having a vcd frenzy now.. buy so many vcds then sit down there watch vcd and order us to paint the house. -_- ok that's not furnies. lolz~ but i wonder when she'll ever finish watching all the vcds she bought.... LOL... and then my dad... i realised that whenever the car has a problem, it's always me n my dad that's present... like the accident... he was going to fetch me to tuition when it happened.. scared the hell outta me... then the tire burst... i was also on my way to toa payoh for tuition.... wth. then we helped one another and stuff... kinda weirds bah... i don't talk that much with him but the bond is there... and then he likes to stay up late till 3am in the morning to finish his work... then wake up at 6am laters to go to work... haiz... not good for health sia... see all the white hair on ur head... rest more lar! work so hard for wad. wait for me to earn money lar... -_-








and then... with friends... i feel i'm becoming closer to my fellow ntu mates... like pansy... we're closer than before... i still remember first time in ny we weren't that close in the first place... go jc closer... now even closer... weirds right? last time jc we see each other everyday... talk everyday... now we don't talk everyday... but the bond's even stronger than before? i guess our relationship matured alot bah... u don't need to be beside one another everyday every moment but u know they are there for u when u need them... =) and of course we gossip more shop more have more fun than in jc... she likes to call me up every now and then to go ktv... go shop... and go suntan! lolz! and there's shian chi, yin yin who i always disturb them in their hall... always go find them when i have long break to study wif them... haha~ then shian chi always like to cook her own meals with her neat little rice cooker *which was forbidden in the halls... LOL* all the fun stuff we did... =) and her toiletmates angela and... shet i forgot her name. -_- but i remember her face... haha now i remember her name... yvonne i think... =) they're so nice to me.... thankx peeps.. =) i don't know how else to express my gratitude and stuff... =) and xiaoli... recently we went to watch movie n suntan together... though we dun usually talk alot but somehow i feel closer to her now... =)

and my tutorial mates in school... though i don't know how far our friendships can last... but.. still happy to know u guys.... weiqing who always like to stay up late *dunno how he survive the next day in school.. but then again he always pon! LOL~* nicolas who likes to wear orange shirts... XD *and he dun wanna show me his wardrobe cos scared his wardrobe will be gone the next moment* and nicolas' roomie yong quan, fellow girlfriends xiao xuan, lixuan, shing yeong and poh lin... though for girls we aren't that close now probably cos of hols... and yes xiaoxuan probably don't know but i spotted her yesterday at kino with weeling *my p school classmate*... too bad i'm in a hurry or i'd say hi to u guys... lolz! and yes, bing hui... ah bing de bing gan cang zai bing gan he li... -_- though the time we spend together is short but hey thanks for being there and i had fun wif ur! =)

and... to someone out there... our relationship had been going downhill since the start of the year... perhaps we aren't meant to be together in the first place... perhaps i shouldn't have met u... but... thanks... wishing u all the best... i've loved u, hated u, cursed u, cried over u, but thanks to u i've learnt alot... i think i've finally began to step out of the hole u left me... and i know that i still love u. but probably in a different sense. so do take care and don't repeat ur mistakes again... and i'll not repeat the same mistake again too.

to another person out there... who used to be my confidate too... i'm sorry things had to turn out this way. we'll drift further apart, that's to protect the both of us. if we continue things that had been previously, it'll be far worse than now. i'm not hoping that u'll understand, i wanna let u know i'm not as good as u know me. i'm someone who's indifferent to others now. so... forget about me.

and yeap, i think that's about all... more things to reflect on... but now... i'm hungry... wahaha... maybe this is something i should reflect on too... on eating too much.. LOL... so tata for now~ shall be back soon with new year resolutions! =)