Of Smiles and Sunshine

continual stoning.

did i mention that.. juz now, while i was playing mahjong, my brother went out. and me being the stupid selfish shitty sister *heyz~ nice alliteration* was so engrossed in mahjong online simply saw him go out without asking where he went. thinking that he had already told my mum where he was going to go.

guess wad my mum said yesterday is true.

i deserve ten thousand slaps.

trying to do some household chores to make myself feel more at ease. stupid baka.

the thing is.. my brother din bring handphone.. so now dunno where he is...

dun even know whether i'm worried or anything...

it's such a weird feeling... a few days ago i probably "hated" my brother to the core... den now i'm hating myself for not caring for my brother.

idiot. arrgh.

i'm sorry... but saying sorry now doesn't help things at all.

all i can do is to sit at home and wait for him to come back...

i know i know.. my parents appeared not to be blaming me... but i know that deep down... u guys know that i'm not a good elder sis larz. i know i know... some things no need to say out loud one.

wad's the point of ranting here. it doesn't help things at all.

okies. i shall shaddup.

wad's the point of trying to help other pple with their problems when u can't even solve ur simple pathetic problem.