Of Smiles and Sunshine

hi my best friend...

why do you keep coming back to company me when nobody else is around?
i don't need your company.
i don't need your pity.
i don't need anybody's pity.

are you something that i have to learn how to conquer someday?
didn't i conquer you back then 2 years ago?

i can try to chase you away.
i can fill the entire room with music and games.
but in the end,
you simply refuse to budge from the depths of my heart.

is there some sort of antidote or some sort of poison
so that i can get rid of u once and for all?
sadly even if the antidote or poison was taken,
the very next moment i stop taking it
u come back alive and kicking,
and even stronger than before.

i hate you.
but i can't help but to live together with you.
is this hatred mutual?
does it even matter?

let us be nice and friendly to each other.
pls try not to overwhelm me
not only late into the night,
but at this very moment too.