Of Smiles and Sunshine

i had a dream. ok before i go into that i must stress it's just a dream, so those people that i dream of, please don't be offended if you guys actually think u're the people i saw in my dream...

i dreamt of something from the past which shouldn't have come to my mind for so long, and i don't know what all these means. last time i was very bothered when my rival knows more about someone more than i do... and seemed closer to him than i do... but in my dream last night, when she seemingly purposely revealed information about how much more she knows about him and how intimate they are as though she's trying to spite me... i was actually pissed. i know it's a dream, so i was upset with myself when i woke up... why did i fall into that trap again? and whatever that happens to them is not exactly my business anymore isn't it...

which actually brings me to something i wanted to talk about last night actually... what is love. i don't know anymore... is it just thinking of that person every time you wake up? wanting to see that person's smile? wanting to know more about that person? or is it all the ugliness when one gets jealous over a person he/she is overly possessive of? the quarrels over a couple's differences? or when you have to let go of the person you love because you "love" him/her? i don't know anything anymore...

how is it that we can fall in love when we don't really understand what is love? sometimes i want to laugh at... the stupidity of this...













actually i feel kind of guilty yesterday... i didn't really believe in someone... and kind of expect that person to forget... but he didn't... i was happy that he didn't forget, but i don't know how much i can trust the things that he claims and does... i wish i can be a little more trusting...

and i felt a little guilty towards making peylun and bolin wait for me a really long time cos i was printing my 1 semester's worth of notes! but really thanks for waiting...













alrighty! one more ntu paper next monday, before i'm left with my final paper of the year -- jlpt!!! must jiayou and mug hard for them!!! holidays are coming soon!!! ^^