Of Smiles and Sunshine

another 9.5 hrs to my first exam paper of the semester! feeling damn tireds but i haven't finished studying...

i wonder when have i become like this. others think it's so hard to approach me for help... they think i prefer to be left alone. and i feel quite guilty cos i really feel this way sometimes. i don't know when i've become so adverse to helping others out. my initial response whenever someone asks me for help these days will be... what? you want help? =S instead of... oh yes i'll help in whatever way i can back in the past.

haha this brings me back to some time last week. pansy knew i had some interest in tarot cards and the like superstition, and she just picked up 姓名学... which is like predicting a person's life and personality based on that person's chinese name... and for me... as depicted by the "calculation" i'll be someone who'll be a loner... eeks. i hate to admit it. but i'm quite scared of that happening lol. my close jc friends will know why i say this haha~ just that i don't admit it these days... i think me becoming so cold and indifferent to other people's problems will distant me even further from others. but i don't dare to get too close to others either. argh! i hate to be pulled along by fate so i told myself i'm going to struggle against it... but opps, looks like i'm in that path fate has brought me all along... =S

time to change my attitude towards others when they ask for help! =X