Of Smiles and Sunshine

sometimes... i wonder... wad does it mean to be sociable? does it mean always hanging out with your clique, going for all activities organized by the clique? or does it mean screaming out ur existence with loads of funny comments, disturbing pple and stuff like that?

i suppose i never managed to learn one thing -- how to trust others. well, not to say i trust myself in the first place either! haha~ or maybe the more accurate way of putting it is... how to trust others on issues i should place my trust on. i'm so damn gullible, believing all the little comments others claim... and yet i can't seem to trust how others would value my voice, my opinion, or even my existence. i dun trust how others might enjoy my presence... i don't trust how i can bring joy to others around me...

no one can expect the entire world to like themselves. me neither... but if u don't like me, i can tell u frankly... i don't like myself either.

















change. that is something i desire... probably... but perhaps some things are so inherent within me that i don't know how to change for the better... sometimes i thought i had changed, but after one big round around the bush, i'm back to square one. hahaha. i feel so damn stupid.













on a more cheerful tone... i attended my first live concert! though it was a really stressful experience for me probably... i waited for my friends at the wrong mrt station, and the china mobile network seriously sux... i couldn't make any calls to my friends then... so originally i was 1 hour early, i ended up meeting with my friends 45 mins late... and we were almost late for the concert itself! rawrs~ i'm so sorry to those who went to the mayday concert together with me... but i had a great time then! thankews guys ^^

feeling really tired.... but there are so many things waiting for me to do... like to bake chocolate cake in a half chocked toilet... ok opps that doesn't sound good on a clean blog like mine right? haha... reports waiting for me... haiz. too much stuff, too little time~~~

time to develop feelings with my trusty toilet bowl!!!




ps. this is my 501th post!