haiz...

another dae juz passed...

dunno ar.. remember i said something tt i felt tt something is abt to happen? dunno.. somehow.. after my chat wif pansy.. tt feeling is coming back, strong than b4..

todae.. had pw... sighz... dunno y.. dunno whether it's my problem or sheila's... i feel like i offended sheila in some way or another... like she's super bu shuang wif me.... dunno ar.. maybe i'm juz too sensitive on my part.. but i remember todae.. i tried to carry something for her todae when she said dun try to, and she shot me this poisonous look as if she's going to kill me... this made me really pissed off... i wanna taunt her.. (dunno.. this ah lian in me izzit?) telling her tt i'm not scared of her shooting tt poisonous look at me.. (come on ar.. i think i can oso b as scary as her lohz.. tt look.. i mean.. dunno ar..) but then.. i dun wana make things worst, so i juz dropped her bag to let herself carry...

she remains as nice to all the pple around her except me.. at least tt's how i feel.. she seems really hostile... maybe i haven't been talking to her for some time... dunno ar.. but i feel that i'm at fault... maybe a little, but the main focus dun seem to be me lehz.. hahas.. i think all of us would choose to think that others are at fault before we think tt it's our own fault.. haha...

besides tt.. todae.. i finally had a good chat wif pansy todae... after op todae, i went out wif her for a meal.. :D hahas.. tried really good food.. eat until i still wanna eat.. go home still gobble up my dinner. hahas.. i think i'll turn into a pig at this rate ar.. hahas.. :P

i told her abt this feeling tt something is abt to happen... and she told me not to worry.. but it's after i told her this, i started to think more abt this, and tt feeling seems to grow stronger... dun understand y... dunno whether tt thing which is abt to happen is something good or bad... but.. i dun seem to like tt thing to happen... it's weird lar.. even i can't really explain it... maybe i'm afraid tt it would change the way i live my life... nola.. i dun think it would have such a huge impact.. ermz.. maybe.. how it might change the way i perceive things?

hahas.. she's talking abt her perfect wedding, den she decided not to tell me the details of wad she wants in order for her wedding to b a perfect one.. cos she scared tt i copy her.. hahas... den i told her i might not even get married in the first place.. hahas... dunno lehz.. i seem, no... i have this really pessimistic view abt love.. hahas.. sad case ar.. :P .. any way.. her first reaction was... are u going to b a spinster?... hahas... dunno ar... somehow.. i feel tt if in my lifetime i really din meet the person whom i'm going to marry becoz i love him or becoz fate binds ur together, i dun think i'll ever get married... hahas... somehow i juz have the feeling tt i'll never meet that special person..

haiz.. 10 more daes to 20 Nov.. i'm getting nearer and nearer to 1 Dec... to my erhu exam.. i noe i have to sit down and practise, but i'm can't seem to get into the "mugging" mode lehz.. dunno ar... juz feel like lazing around.. slacking around.. hahas... lazy bum.. :P

kkz larz.. tt's all for now.. gotta watch xi jie shao nian.. :P