fRuStRaTeD~~~~

haiz... todae tot i was in quite a good mood ar... went for erhu lesson todae.. surprisingly.. i noe i'm really not up to standard ar.. but xls din scold me like she does towards sujuan.. arrgh.. dunno y lehz.. if she got nag at me den i probably wun feel so stressed ar.. but when she's nice to me.. i'll feel like i need to work really really hard to meet up her expectations.. hahas.. diao.. i think i'm super weird... can't stand pple being nice to me ar... hahas... think tt makes me easy to manipulate though.. hahas...

dunno lehz.. sometimes.. the nicer pple are towards me.. the more insecure i feel ar... maybe.. cos i dun understand y they are so nice to me bah.. it's like... firstly.. i'm not worth them being nice to me.. cos in the first place i'm not tt nice to them.. and secondly.. r they nice to me becoz they want something out of me? hahas.. silly lehz... but i think... i cannot fully escape from tt ying yin which still affects me a little...

sighz... wanna practise wif my sis for xin hun bie todae.. but den again she not free.. feeling stressed and frustrated cos i'm scared i cmi for the exam which is only 4 days away... it's like every time when i'm free she's not, and vice versa... for tt i'm really really worried tt we cannot go for the exam together.. and i think tt's y my mood spoil ar.. hahas. diao...

hahas.. my blog was almost discovered by someone.. hahas.. weird ar... i'm scared tt someone finds their way here without my knowing.. weird ar.. hahas.. i suppose i'm juz really paraniod abt such stuff ar.. abt letting pple know more abt me... maybe cos i'm scared they'll get too close for comfort.. dunno ar...

kkz larz.. shall jiayouz for erhu.. :D