Of Smiles and Sunshine

i dunno why i'm feeling kinda... depressed now? maybe it's the wonderful weather... raindrops falling, at this time of the night, and i'm extremely tired and can't go on with my tutorials... at this time i usually let my mind drift... despite having a really fun conversation with my brother's gf now *and bitching abt my brother hahahahaha i'm joking =)* somehow everything feels empty. can't explain this feeling anyway. it seems like everytime i bring up that particular topic i'll feel empty.

although in my mind i know that this is already in the past, somehow whenever i talk abt this matter, those bad memories keep coming back to haunt me... can't u just let me go on and start my new life?

and it's strange... i can talk to sarah *my brother's gf* like some long lost old friend... talking cock just like how i'd talk to my friends normally, i can also talk to my close friends like weijie without having to think hard to continue the conversation, but i can't talk or converse properly with certain other individuals. maybe we just don't click or the chemistry isn't there? but i geniunely want to talk to the other individuals more and learn more about them! though i just met sarah the first time in my entire life... i dunno why i feel i can talk to her without feeling much restrain. sighz why is my mind so complex?