Of Smiles and Sunshine

can i be emo just for tonight?

ok i realised that i'm emo for most of the nights anyway... LOL.













tomorrow's my presentation on managing difficult people. doing up on this topic actually leaves me with a really funny feeling. we're all talking about how to DEAL with difficult people, but have we ever thought whether WE are the difficult people in question? haha from the data and characteristics we discussed in the presentation, i realised that i can be quite a difficult person in other people's point of view. which is a bad thing isn't it...

difficult people are everywhere. in my part of the presentation i actually mentioned the various characteristics that would land someone under the category of being difficult : always complaining, extremely picky, does not listen, refuse to give feedback, can't be bothered, self-centered, or inconsiderate. come to think of it, i fall into these quite often isn't it =X it's so easy to be difficult, yet hard to handle these difficult people. i feel that instead of just managing difficult people, we should also learn to manage our own tendencies to be difficult. but of course, we can't go up, present to others and tell them straight in the face that they have the tendency to be difficult and thus they should look out for their difficult behavior. nonono, people don't like to be accused of this, with the probable exception of me perhaps?

while we point at others, blaming them for being difficult, how many of us can look at things and reflect upon ourselves and admit the negativities we inflict on others? i believe if everyone can look at things in this perspective, there wouldn't be so many difficult people along the streets...

there are so many difficult people around us. haiz. how should i tackle my problems and conflict with them? i don't feel like confronting them and talking to them since... maybe i'm being difficult too? lol~ don't see the point of confronting since i feel our interests would conflict anyway. if i want to resolve this issue with them, it's more like i've got a need to be on good terms with them in the upcoming semester(s) and so on... feels kinda weird this way if i'm psychoing myself to do this... =( i know that if i wanna settle things i should go talk to them and get things out straight... but this feels weird and so un...real... like i'm being a hypocrite and stuff. and besides, i somehow think and believe that i can be independent... *though this is a dangerous way of thinking imo haha~*

ok enough about all these! i'm super worried for presentation tml cos... 1. in the morning i have tuition with marki 2. wad to wear! 3. am i wearing my heels the entire day? *NO!!! \(TT m TT)/* 4. will my voice come back tomorrow? *doesn't feel nor look like it sadly* 5. will my tutor pick on me tomorrow? etc etc. so many uncertainties! haiz i wish i'm more confident and have more courage to present tomorrow... be able to look into the audience eyes longer... i realise i'm very shy in looking into people's eyes when i'm presenting... and i'm scared i'll forget my points and so on... rawr! so scared! =(

maybe instead of ranting here i shall go memorise my points on powerpoint... sighz~