Of Smiles and Sunshine

wow... i realise i've been blogging almost everyday these few weeks... should i say that's good news?

in another few more hours, weijie would be flying off to start his architecture course... i might be flying to shanghai at the start of 2008 for my industrial attatchment... pansy and yuchun flying to china at around september 2008 for the rest of their course which would take around 2 years... all of a sudden i feel like i'm drifting away from so many people! there are others who had already left for their own... futures? like jonathan and jinyi and zhidong... but still... as more and more of us drift to different parts of the world... i wonder... will we be able to stay in contact? can we still stay as close as before?

i highly doubt that... but i don't wanna drift apart from my treasured friends... like pansy... i can't imagine if there's no one for me to disturb and go on sudden shopping trips just around our house... or our weekly weekend dinners... lol~ just saying this makes me sound weak, but i'm not afraid to show it... and she might not be coming back to singapore at the end of her course! so many uncertainties... makes me wanna treasure our time together as much as possible now...

but i have my reservations about... "friends". maybe those who are close to me can already tell... i can't quite trust people easily... so it's hard for acquintances to cross the border for me to really treat and accept them as friends... as in good friends bah... people whom i'm willing to try to help as much as i can... the kind of 生死之交... i suppose it's good to be cautious... but sometimes it really kinda hinders me from really interacting with people i suppose... and i really wonder whether i'm just being over sensitive... can i start to trust "friends" a little bit more? or am i just being plain stupid to even try make myself even susceptible to possible hurt and betrayal in the future?

that's why... i must treasure those whom i consider as good friends even more... one way to look at this is that... it's so hard for two people to come together and be able to understand and stay with each other for so long... and to be able to click! so we should treasure this kind of "缘分" so to say... i admit in the past i was so afraid of losing one of my best friends that i threw away that relationship on my own and left her alone wondering what actually happened... now that i think about it... it's plain stupid. haha i was such a weakling then...














12:33am now.. so tired with such deep eye bags that pansy and i called ourselves the pandas... haha~ should i go sleep now? or chiong my presentation slides? =S