Of Smiles and Sunshine

this post should have been on 2 days ago... or rather 1 night ago.

i almost forgot to wish a particular person happy birthday... and i thought i would never forget that. it's funny how people can be so forgetful when they have got things on their mind that's sapping away all their energy. and i thought since i'm so stubborn, no matter how busy i am, i still would not forget.

i guess i was wrong then. perhaps it really is that easy to forget certain things that were once important. maybe it just means i have already let go of things way back in the past.

now since it's 1:03am on my computer clock now... it's officially my mum's birthday... my dad's overseas in china, sister would be staying overnight tml... and well i don't think my brother would care... am i the only one who cares then?

maybe it's the feeling of loneliness overwhelming me... friends come and go... good friends stay with you longer... and i thought family would always be on your side.... maybe not. when we all grow up to go out to venture our own careers... or maybe to start our own families... we'll part. and death may part us too. in the end, one would be alone no matter how much you struggle i suppose... then why even try to chase away that loneliness? we came into this world by ourselves, we leave as lone souls. making friends and getting attached emotionally just means more hurt when it's time to leave this world isn't it... i'm telling myself this, but this other part of me is screaming...

it feels like i'm in my glass chamber again. able to observe the world beyond me... sensing their happiness and pain... but unable to feel their emotions. similarly, no one can hear me banging my fists on those cold transparent walls...













伤。就算我能治好别人的伤，那又有谁能治好我的呢？

突然间有一股不知所措的烦恼一涌而上。忽然，我不再知道自己接下来该怎么做。还是，我根本什么都不必做呢？