Of Smiles and Sunshine

sighz~

my goldfish died... it was the birthday present from my friends on my 18th birthday... can't say i'm very very sad over it... but oh well... despite me knowing the fact it's old and will pass on some time soon... when it really happened there was still some sense of loss... and i must admit... i'm quite bad to it... remember how it always swims upside down for about a year already? just yesterday when it could hardly stay afloat... i was thinking... instead of it suffering while living, why don't we use euthanasia and end it's suffering? like just taking it out of water and so on.... but in the end i couldn't do that... cos somehow deep in me i hoped it'll live a little while longer... and it did... it died just this morning.

well... maybe i could sense it coming... that's y i woke up extra early today... but i guess i was still too late... my mum already disposed of its body. -_- but nevertheless... sighz. i wish i was a better pet owner...

my mum suggests buying another fish to accompany the lone goldfish left after the other goldfish's death... oh well... the feeling's never the same... maybe it was because it was a present from my friends or something... or maybe it's how i hoped it'll continue living after it's companion died a few days after i received them... or maybe it's the feeling i had when i chose its name and i didn't choose any for the other fishes that came to live in that small little tank we had for them... oh well... i don't know anything anymore...

if there's heaven... i hope u'll be going there now... and if u're there already... stop swimming upside down.