Of Smiles and Sunshine

back in office, all alone eating lunch as usual

and thinking abt the things that has juz happened in the morning...

juz within an hour... i've been posted to another department, and then transferred back to where i was initially...

and they said they're going to give my collegue more time to adapt, or else it's unfair to him... the next moment they changed their mind.

and there's nothing i can do about all these that's going on... i'm juz like... a pawn...





i muz admit... initially when i found out i'm going to be posted to sales cos the person i'm taking over, esther, is back, and that there's the new guy john who has been here for abt 1 month already... so basically our department here no longer need me the temp stuff to do all the filing and stuff... it's a practical solution to post me elsewhere...

but juz a few days ago teena told me secretly that cos john is a slow learner and doesn't exhibit a sense of responsibility required for his job scope, she's thinking of observing his performance up till friday to decide whether she still wants him here or to... well.. to put it directly, ask him to leave for good...

i admitted to her frankly that... we can't look after someone who cannot even file papers in running order properly, or to remember what he has done simply an hour ago... and when we're working in such a fast paced environment, we simply can't be baby sitters for we have our own work to settle.

so today when she first told me that i'm going elsewhere and john's going to stay... i really felt... how should i say? cheated?

but she said... she wants to give him another chance... or else it's unfair to him...

and i thought... yeah... that makes sense...

somehow i'm a little envious of john... cos our department pple are so nice to give him so many chances to prove himself...




everybody in my office.... ching esther and john were told that i'll be posted elsewhere... and ching asked me to help him photostat some stuff... so i playfully told him... aey... ask me photostat stuff muz treat me leh. den he replied.. aiyah... tml tot ur last day den treat u... but now too bad... u go elsewhere... ha~ den i replied.. wah~ u wan me to leave so fast ar? lolz~

but... yeah... somehow in my heart.. i rather i leave the company than to be posted elsewhere.. ha~ *cos of the... ahems... bad record sales department has... i mean... the new staff they employ would leave like... at most 1month after they're employed. -_-*








then... teena came back after she went to look for our big boss... michimoto san... and she once again told me and esther secretly that i no need to go to sales on monday...

and i was like... huh?

she asked... er... u don't understand?

i replied... yah.. i get it...

and she turned back to do her work.





simple instruction like that.. i understand... what i don't understand is... why is it that one moment u can decide that you want to give someone else a chance, and then later change ur mind so quickly? i understand that she's in a difficult position also... she has to face her superior... and perhaps the idea of giving john another chance came from michimoto san... but... everything juz... din really make sense.. at least at that point in time.

and i felt... terrible... it seems as though... it's cos of me that john's going to lose his job.

reality is so harsh.





为什么单靠努力也未必能够成功？
为什么单靠喜欢还是不能在一起？
为什么世界是呢么残酷的？





我的心情一时无法平静下来。