all man has sins.
god is forgiving and forgives man's sins.
but i am not god.
i'm not as forgiving as him.
i can forgive all except mine.
another restless night. having a slight headache from lack of sleep from previous night... wondering how i'll spend my weekend on pri school class outing, looking for bdae present and how to finish studying and try to catch up on schoolwork. not as busy as probably su weixiang... whom i've talked to just now... guess we're all busy with our own lives... hard to find time to catch up with friends whom we don't meet as well...
you really should let go... he was the one who wanted to leave from your sight to seek his own happiness. and when it seems he doesn't find that... it's not your fault at all. it has got nothing to do with you in the first place. repeat that in your mind 1000 times.
having a little bit of... erms... constipation? body not feeling really good... on the verge of falling sick perhaps... irregular eating times, not enough sleep, not eating good and i wanna try reduce my weight. *yar yar... 50 by may...* i survived another day without incurring bruises to myself! though there were several things that happened that might have bruised me... like tripping over the stairs, my toe with the nail chipped off stepped by a stranger on the crowded bus etc. i'm still alive. is that supposed to be a "yatta!" or a "oh shit"?
i wonder... if i meet you again in school... how would we react to each other's presence? say hi like normal friends? or pretend we didn't see each other. or even pretend we don't know each other. all is wrong in the first place.
i don't understand why i'm so stubborn about this whole thing.
yeah. time to make it all disappear.
16 March 2007
wow. another 12:30am entry late in the night. tireds to the core, but this happens every single day when i reach home... not a easy thing to cope with quizzes happening every single week... plus catching up on school work i've lagged since start of school hahaha~ loads of thoughts these few weeks... wonder if i have the time energy and if i even remember what i wanted to talk about...
been feeling a little... suicidal? these days... well... seems like i've caught the "accident-prone" disease from my good friend pansy... if i didn't remember wrongly, 2 weeks ago my left big toe nail got chipped off half of it... next few days i fell on my back while running along the wet corridor in my house, resulting in a sprained back... then just after the bruises on my back disappeared i got hit by a stupid bicycle *who shot past the red lights on the road, got horned by cars, hitting the pedestrain (yes that's me) that was just trying to cross the road when the green man just lit up...* and yeap. i hurt my back again -_-. so i was convinced that within the next few days i'll probably meet with a even bigger mishap. like getting hit on the head by a falling flower pot. or like what my friend said, getting choked while eating food. after i "cursed" myself in front of my friends, a few moments later i trapped and bruised my right index finger cos i was half awake and tried to keep the small table in the lecture theatre. wow.
wad's next? besides the falling flower pot or getting choked? getting electrocuted or something? or struck by lightning? i'll be waiting for you.... wadeva mishap that's on the way. i've even got my handy zam-bak which helps heal bruises faster in my bag... *which i used to get rid of the painful bruise on my right index finger haha* yar... so wadever it is... i'm not afraid. bah.
then there's the thing with my... rebellious and... maybe a little rude? tuition kid. yes i'm talking about you, mark... haha... see... sometimes i really think about the things you say to me... hmmms... like saying i'm fat *well i admit i'm not really thin like a skeleton... er you get my point* yeaps it's time i should go on a diet, thanks very much for reminding me that... then next... about me being a loner... hmms i didn't rebut you that time cos i thought... maybe there's some truth to that. but after some of the crazy things i've done with my ntu friends today... i guess not? well... a lot of things i didn't say to my ntu friends... and neither to mark as well... i don't like to rely on people too much. cos i think i'll grow too dependent on them... so i prefer to do things on my own if i can handle it myself. well... people will probably think i'm anti-social? maybe that's not my primary concern here regarding this issue... it's sorta my principle in life bah... second... i'm the... passive kind... i don't usually ask my friends to go on errands with me cos i don't want them to waste their precious time on simple stuff i need to go out to do... and going out alone doesn't mean u're a loner... ok so much for self defense haha...
i admit i'm not a very good friend. what kind of people qualify as being "a good friend"? maybe it's when you take the initiative to celebrate for your friend's birthday? not betraying their trust. yeah i think that's one of the important things i value in a true friendship. sadly not everyone can stay true to their relationship. there's so much deceit going on in this world that sometime i'm just too disgusted by it. or maybe i'm just thinking too much.
this brings to mind... ah. the stupid dip project thingy. that time when our group approached a certain professor to ask him to be our overall supervisor with our idea, he initially seemed interested and we thought our proposal would be approved. next he told us it was just too broad. after we're totally sick and tired of our proposals being rejected, under the list of projects accepted by mentoring professors, we saw his name there. meaning, he probably had another group approach him and he chose that group over ours? well... maybe i'm misunderstanding something here, don't think anyone out there could provide an explanation to this... but it just didn't feel good. makes me wonder how true are the responses from these professors... they can seem friendly to you during lectures *well they probably have to, if they value their job and want to look good as a lecturer?* but beyond that? are they still as friendly as they seem? how true are they to themselves? oh wait. i should be asking myself this question.
who exactly am i? i'm thoroughly confused with myself. my identity. am i just a stupid brainless idiot who likes to entertain and bring joy to those around me, or the selfish bastard who ignores others needs and immerse in my own problems or something? whatever it is. i hate to be hovering between the two. one moment i can be so warm to others, the next moment i want to be just left alone. if any guy can differentiate my mood and what i want to do, haha i'll be that guy's girlfriend. ok that was meant to be a joke. laugh please.
i'm just too skeptial for my own good. i don't know why... is this some kind of... depression? or maybe it's not so serious... just simply pessimism? when i go out and meet people... sometimes when i interact with them, i "hear" totally negative voices interpreting others actions in my head... like when someone's nice to me... i'll "think" that... oh that's just cause u'll need my help later, so u're being nice to me now... or like when someone asks me a question... i know i should try my best to answer to his/her query, but sometimes i get the "idea" that... hey u're not really serious about knowing the answer to this... so why bother explaining to you? is this skeptism or pessimism or is there really something wrong with me?
not that i'll expect any kind of answer here anyway. just thought i'll post it online as one of my never ending rants.
and just to add on to the rants: when will the quizzes ever end? rawr.
on a side note... just after i posted this entry... i'm back to edit it. seems like i've treaded on something i shouldn't have gone back to visit. don't understand why... maybe it's just cos it's late at night where no one can disturb the flashbacks i get from the past. a pang of hurt, pain and maybe... resignation to whatever that had happened. no way we can connect the broken relationship back again i suppose. we're never good friends in the first place anyway. not that i'll take the first move again, haha. damn it. i hate myself for being so stubborn and unable to wipe away scars from the past.
i thought the song below was nice... except for the lyrics sounding a little funny... well it's a j-pop song though it's sung in english. can't blame them if the engrish sounds furnies...
Winter Song
sung by : OLIVA inspi' REIRA ~Trapnest~
It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull
Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far, far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue
Can you hear me out there?
Will you hold me now...
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and...
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me
I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes
But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear...
Make it disappear
Anyone out there hear me now?
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can
Take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will...
Will you hold me now...
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and...
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone...
Can you wake me?
been feeling a little... suicidal? these days... well... seems like i've caught the "accident-prone" disease from my good friend pansy... if i didn't remember wrongly, 2 weeks ago my left big toe nail got chipped off half of it... next few days i fell on my back while running along the wet corridor in my house, resulting in a sprained back... then just after the bruises on my back disappeared i got hit by a stupid bicycle *who shot past the red lights on the road, got horned by cars, hitting the pedestrain (yes that's me) that was just trying to cross the road when the green man just lit up...* and yeap. i hurt my back again -_-. so i was convinced that within the next few days i'll probably meet with a even bigger mishap. like getting hit on the head by a falling flower pot. or like what my friend said, getting choked while eating food. after i "cursed" myself in front of my friends, a few moments later i trapped and bruised my right index finger cos i was half awake and tried to keep the small table in the lecture theatre. wow.
wad's next? besides the falling flower pot or getting choked? getting electrocuted or something? or struck by lightning? i'll be waiting for you.... wadeva mishap that's on the way. i've even got my handy zam-bak which helps heal bruises faster in my bag... *which i used to get rid of the painful bruise on my right index finger haha* yar... so wadever it is... i'm not afraid. bah.
then there's the thing with my... rebellious and... maybe a little rude? tuition kid. yes i'm talking about you, mark... haha... see... sometimes i really think about the things you say to me... hmmms... like saying i'm fat *well i admit i'm not really thin like a skeleton... er you get my point* yeaps it's time i should go on a diet, thanks very much for reminding me that... then next... about me being a loner... hmms i didn't rebut you that time cos i thought... maybe there's some truth to that. but after some of the crazy things i've done with my ntu friends today... i guess not? well... a lot of things i didn't say to my ntu friends... and neither to mark as well... i don't like to rely on people too much. cos i think i'll grow too dependent on them... so i prefer to do things on my own if i can handle it myself. well... people will probably think i'm anti-social? maybe that's not my primary concern here regarding this issue... it's sorta my principle in life bah... second... i'm the... passive kind... i don't usually ask my friends to go on errands with me cos i don't want them to waste their precious time on simple stuff i need to go out to do... and going out alone doesn't mean u're a loner... ok so much for self defense haha...
i admit i'm not a very good friend. what kind of people qualify as being "a good friend"? maybe it's when you take the initiative to celebrate for your friend's birthday? not betraying their trust. yeah i think that's one of the important things i value in a true friendship. sadly not everyone can stay true to their relationship. there's so much deceit going on in this world that sometime i'm just too disgusted by it. or maybe i'm just thinking too much.
this brings to mind... ah. the stupid dip project thingy. that time when our group approached a certain professor to ask him to be our overall supervisor with our idea, he initially seemed interested and we thought our proposal would be approved. next he told us it was just too broad. after we're totally sick and tired of our proposals being rejected, under the list of projects accepted by mentoring professors, we saw his name there. meaning, he probably had another group approach him and he chose that group over ours? well... maybe i'm misunderstanding something here, don't think anyone out there could provide an explanation to this... but it just didn't feel good. makes me wonder how true are the responses from these professors... they can seem friendly to you during lectures *well they probably have to, if they value their job and want to look good as a lecturer?* but beyond that? are they still as friendly as they seem? how true are they to themselves? oh wait. i should be asking myself this question.
who exactly am i? i'm thoroughly confused with myself. my identity. am i just a stupid brainless idiot who likes to entertain and bring joy to those around me, or the selfish bastard who ignores others needs and immerse in my own problems or something? whatever it is. i hate to be hovering between the two. one moment i can be so warm to others, the next moment i want to be just left alone. if any guy can differentiate my mood and what i want to do, haha i'll be that guy's girlfriend. ok that was meant to be a joke. laugh please.
i'm just too skeptial for my own good. i don't know why... is this some kind of... depression? or maybe it's not so serious... just simply pessimism? when i go out and meet people... sometimes when i interact with them, i "hear" totally negative voices interpreting others actions in my head... like when someone's nice to me... i'll "think" that... oh that's just cause u'll need my help later, so u're being nice to me now... or like when someone asks me a question... i know i should try my best to answer to his/her query, but sometimes i get the "idea" that... hey u're not really serious about knowing the answer to this... so why bother explaining to you? is this skeptism or pessimism or is there really something wrong with me?
not that i'll expect any kind of answer here anyway. just thought i'll post it online as one of my never ending rants.
and just to add on to the rants: when will the quizzes ever end? rawr.
on a side note... just after i posted this entry... i'm back to edit it. seems like i've treaded on something i shouldn't have gone back to visit. don't understand why... maybe it's just cos it's late at night where no one can disturb the flashbacks i get from the past. a pang of hurt, pain and maybe... resignation to whatever that had happened. no way we can connect the broken relationship back again i suppose. we're never good friends in the first place anyway. not that i'll take the first move again, haha. damn it. i hate myself for being so stubborn and unable to wipe away scars from the past.
i thought the song below was nice... except for the lyrics sounding a little funny... well it's a j-pop song though it's sung in english. can't blame them if the engrish sounds furnies...
Winter Song
sung by : OLIVA inspi' REIRA ~Trapnest~
It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull
Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far, far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue
Can you hear me out there?
Will you hold me now...
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and...
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me
I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes
But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear...
Make it disappear
Anyone out there hear me now?
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can
Take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will...
Will you hold me now...
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and...
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone...
Can you wake me?
28 February 2007
今天从下午开始下起了豪雨，让我整天都沉浸在迷迷糊糊的状态。明明想要在教补习之前那小小空档的时间来好好享用晚餐，到了最后却忽然改变主意，无缘无故跑 到书局去，只是想要走走看看有没有什么好看的书 *其实是要找飞轮海的写真。。。虽然我早就知道他们应该是卖到断货了。。。* 却让我发现了几米最新的作品！
书名是《恋之风景》。当初看到这本“宝”的第一感想只是：哇。几米又有新书了！兴奋地翻阅这本新书，每个字每幅画都深深触碰到我的心。感觉到眼泪在眼角打转。为故事与现实的无奈而感叹。
故 事说的是一对恩爱的男女一起遇到车祸，男子不幸离开了人间，留下寂寞与绝望的女友。女子不再相信幸福，沉浸在自己的悲伤里，看不到世上的一切美好，就好 像眼睛被蒙上似的。但她时不时听到死去的男友在她耳边不断的鼓励她，她相信她的心上人变成了守护在她身边的天使，也应次慢慢恢复了，也慢慢开始再次欣赏周 围的美丽事物。但天使越在人类耳边说话，翅膀上的羽毛就会越掉越多。她的爱人因为对她深深的爱，不惜牺牲自己的性命，翅膀上的羽毛完全脱落，他也无法再留 在她身边。。。女子仍然认为男友还一直守护在她身旁。。。
嗨。这是个多么凄美的故事。我忍不住，差点想马上拥有这本画册，毕竟我已经很久没有被一本书感动过。太多无法用言语形容的感触，我本来以为用华文，或许比较容易表达，但到此依然不知从何说起。
或许失去会让你的双眼被悲痛所蒙蔽，但当你走出悲伤，还会认为已经不再存在的东西依然存在吗？
感想一直卡在脑海里，无法将它一一写下，就留到改次想到了再加一补充。
书名是《恋之风景》。当初看到这本“宝”的第一感想只是：哇。几米又有新书了！兴奋地翻阅这本新书，每个字每幅画都深深触碰到我的心。感觉到眼泪在眼角打转。为故事与现实的无奈而感叹。
故 事说的是一对恩爱的男女一起遇到车祸，男子不幸离开了人间，留下寂寞与绝望的女友。女子不再相信幸福，沉浸在自己的悲伤里，看不到世上的一切美好，就好 像眼睛被蒙上似的。但她时不时听到死去的男友在她耳边不断的鼓励她，她相信她的心上人变成了守护在她身边的天使，也应次慢慢恢复了，也慢慢开始再次欣赏周 围的美丽事物。但天使越在人类耳边说话，翅膀上的羽毛就会越掉越多。她的爱人因为对她深深的爱，不惜牺牲自己的性命，翅膀上的羽毛完全脱落，他也无法再留 在她身边。。。女子仍然认为男友还一直守护在她身旁。。。
嗨。这是个多么凄美的故事。我忍不住，差点想马上拥有这本画册，毕竟我已经很久没有被一本书感动过。太多无法用言语形容的感触，我本来以为用华文，或许比较容易表达，但到此依然不知从何说起。
或许失去会让你的双眼被悲痛所蒙蔽，但当你走出悲伤，还会认为已经不再存在的东西依然存在吗？
感想一直卡在脑海里，无法将它一一写下，就留到改次想到了再加一补充。
27 February 2007
26 February 2007
Chingay! XD
the past 2 days was quite a fun experience! been helping out at the chingay parade as crowd control *though it turns out that we didn't really do much imo haha* watching the parade live and unobstructed is just... shiok... hehex... the only downside to this is... the irritating photographers who chiong out of their designated places on day 1... and the dancers who just refused to move their butts as though they don't understand english on day 1 as well... the actual parade was actually ok... i suppose...
the real fun starts after the parade... though we're supposed to help out at the floats area, but since there's too many people to help out with the floats thingy, me my sis and jenny decided to have some fun taking pictures with the cosplay people who walked with the president float earlier... since multiply's currently down, i'll post some of the better pictures here... *can't really expect much with my lousy phone camera lol*
having fun with the gundams?
omg mummy! i took a picture with naruto!
isn't that vincent valentine? where's his coffin?
why does the gundam look so sad?
hey we know how to ride these things okay?... just kidding haha...
omg i never wanna make her angry...
hahaha~ arean't my photo taking skills great? this is the front of one of the floats XD
well, there are more photos taken during the crazy post parade, but they're quite blur so i'll post them on multiply instead... after their service is up again =( more photos with gintama and other cosplayers... and with two kawaii korean military band members... strangely they understood english! another short dampening incident that happened earlier during the post parade was when i tried to ask some of those japanese "cosplay" people to take picture with me... they shun away from me! made me so sad and no longer high... but on after thought, i think maybe they're not the cosplayers, but just happened to dress in those kind of gothic clothing... so yeaps.
some of the things that came to my mind during this event was... temper control. especially when it comes to dealling with those idiots who simply refused to listen to you, or those who think others have to serve them cos their heads are bigger or something. well the thought of it still makes me fume a little lolx, so i suppose i have to do better at temper control. well, maybe it means i lack interacting with other fellow human beings *why do i sound a little like sunako?* at least i feel, if i were doing this when i was in jc or sec school i wouldn't feel the same way as i feel during the parade or after the parade. maybe i was humbler then? haha so... gotta learn how to tactfully deal with whatever situation that happens next time...
though there are ups and downs to this entire 2 days of chingay, i hope next year i can do it again... haha~ but i guess probably not, since i'm here this time to help my friend... if they're not helping to organise this again next year... i'll be stuck at home with my tv to catch chingay again... or maybe i can help them build their float if they're taking part in performing in the parade... wahaha *continues to daydream...*... ... ...
22 February 2007
21 February 2007
happy happy chinese new year! it's a little late for this mega greeting *it's 初四 btw lolx* been busy sleeping eating watching dvd tv blah blah blah... n trying to catch up on tutorials... the latter attempt turned out to be quite a failure regretfully... hehex
went manga/dvd/cd crazy with my small fortune from the chinese new year... went to buy some manga and S.H.E's concert dvd... very impressed with their performance... they're really the 天团... 1337! they're not my idols for nothing k... but watching that dvd really made me wish i'm rich to buy the tickets to watch their concert live... sighz...
been thinking about a few issues these day... read the 5:1 ratio theory on a magazine the other day...
the 5:1 ratio -- you need 5 good memories to make you forget 1 bad memory...
i thought i could let go of some of the "bad" stuff i've met in the past... but turns out i'm kinda wrong... guess i don't have enough good memories yet to erase the bad ones? or maybe i'm just too cynical about our imperfect world...
sometimes i wish i'm just my old self before all the wonderful illusions of my perfect world collapsed against reality...
the hardest thing for one to learn is to trust someone totally.
below is a song i heard a long time ago but thought nothing of it... when i listened to it again yesterday, i realise how nice and meaningful the song lyrics is... enjoy!
Belief
歌手:S.H.E
作詞：施人誠
作曲：左安安
我知道每陣風 吹著吹著就停息
也知道每朵雲 飄著飄著就散去
But I believe, but I believe
因為我們 我們有愛情
我相信我和你 一定會有結局
任時光再侵襲 擁抱一樣堅定
這世界有太多 會消逝的美麗
但你是你 so I believe
(但你是你 所以我相信 so I believe)
就像是每條河 總會流到海裡去
你知道我的心 也只願意奔向你
我說愛你 就是愛你
這是真理 永遠別懷疑
真心會給人力氣 穿越過所有距離
帶領我們走進永遠裡 Ah~ ~ Ah~~ Ah~~
went manga/dvd/cd crazy with my small fortune from the chinese new year... went to buy some manga and S.H.E's concert dvd... very impressed with their performance... they're really the 天团... 1337! they're not my idols for nothing k... but watching that dvd really made me wish i'm rich to buy the tickets to watch their concert live... sighz...
been thinking about a few issues these day... read the 5:1 ratio theory on a magazine the other day...
the 5:1 ratio -- you need 5 good memories to make you forget 1 bad memory...
i thought i could let go of some of the "bad" stuff i've met in the past... but turns out i'm kinda wrong... guess i don't have enough good memories yet to erase the bad ones? or maybe i'm just too cynical about our imperfect world...
sometimes i wish i'm just my old self before all the wonderful illusions of my perfect world collapsed against reality...
the hardest thing for one to learn is to trust someone totally.
below is a song i heard a long time ago but thought nothing of it... when i listened to it again yesterday, i realise how nice and meaningful the song lyrics is... enjoy!
Belief
歌手:S.H.E
作詞：施人誠
作曲：左安安
我知道每陣風 吹著吹著就停息
也知道每朵雲 飄著飄著就散去
But I believe, but I believe
因為我們 我們有愛情
我相信我和你 一定會有結局
任時光再侵襲 擁抱一樣堅定
這世界有太多 會消逝的美麗
但你是你 so I believe
(但你是你 所以我相信 so I believe)
就像是每條河 總會流到海裡去
你知道我的心 也只願意奔向你
我說愛你 就是愛你
這是真理 永遠別懷疑
真心會給人力氣 穿越過所有距離
帶領我們走進永遠裡 Ah~ ~ Ah~~ Ah~~
14 February 2007
aching back. test tml. haven't studied yet. but still...
i must confess.
i had a weird dream this morning.
i dreamt i was somehow trying to snuggle on a bed... strangely with one of my guy friends who was already on the bed. *gasps* <-- strangely this reminded me of the 花样少年少女 plot wahaha... then i ask... can i sleep there? the guy said yes... next... he lied beside me with his shoulders close to mine, so i tried to turn my back on him so that i wun disturb his sleep... then he whispered into my ear in a deep voice... "why don't you love me?"
then i woke up.
problem is : it was so damn real that it's scary. and... it so happened that when i woke up it's valentine's day. lmao.
ok end of confession. back to the damned ee2002 notes. rawr.
i must confess.
i had a weird dream this morning.
i dreamt i was somehow trying to snuggle on a bed... strangely with one of my guy friends who was already on the bed. *gasps* <-- strangely this reminded me of the 花样少年少女 plot wahaha... then i ask... can i sleep there? the guy said yes... next... he lied beside me with his shoulders close to mine, so i tried to turn my back on him so that i wun disturb his sleep... then he whispered into my ear in a deep voice... "why don't you love me?"
then i woke up.
problem is : it was so damn real that it's scary. and... it so happened that when i woke up it's valentine's day. lmao.
ok end of confession. back to the damned ee2002 notes. rawr.
07 February 2007
05 February 2007
i want my clone. -_-
how many times have i repeated this over the past few weeks. oh wait. only 4 weeks have passed, but it felt as though it was 4 years. met pansy this afternoon and we came to the same conclusion lolx.
tireds and a little frustrated with myself. my lack of time management is really getting to me. plus my lack of sleep... sighz. and the lack of money hahaha~ i'm ultra broke now ='( and i just realised i forgot to draw money today! shets. now i'm poor sleepy n... sadeds... =(
there was something that i wanted to talk about... but i can't find the words to express them. how pathetic my language skills are...
i will not commit the same mistake again.
有种的话，就不要让我再爱上你。
been a little out of my way these days... don't know why, but i kinda liked writing lyrics haha~ lousy ones though... a few of them are drafts in my blog, cos i'm not satisfied with them... so it's left to editing editing and further editing until i'm happy with them and i might post them around sometime... haha~ and i wonder when that'll be, considering how little time i have to sit down n mull over this kind of things...
sometimes i wonder if i give people the wrong impression. oh wait. i do. lolx... and i can't decide whether i wanna clear things up or stuff... sometimes it's just me thinking too much i suppose... ok let's take it that i'm always thinking too much... haha life's much easier if that's the case...
i wish that i can just focus on the things i see and stop thinking so much sometimes. it's quite a bother at times... and my imagination can actually be quite wild... some areas are better off left unexplored... haha~
loads of things waiting to be cleared : two tutorials for tomorrow, my lab report, typing email to prof for project, catching up 4 tutorials worth of material for the quiz next week plus my other 4 tutorials that i lagged*besides the 4 tutorials mentioned earlier* plus catching up on sleep and finding time to watch tv XD sighz. end of the day, i just wish for another clone. oh god. can't u just grant a simple wish of mine? *er not exactly simple but who cares lol*
how many times have i repeated this over the past few weeks. oh wait. only 4 weeks have passed, but it felt as though it was 4 years. met pansy this afternoon and we came to the same conclusion lolx.
tireds and a little frustrated with myself. my lack of time management is really getting to me. plus my lack of sleep... sighz. and the lack of money hahaha~ i'm ultra broke now ='( and i just realised i forgot to draw money today! shets. now i'm poor sleepy n... sadeds... =(
there was something that i wanted to talk about... but i can't find the words to express them. how pathetic my language skills are...
i will not commit the same mistake again.
有种的话，就不要让我再爱上你。
been a little out of my way these days... don't know why, but i kinda liked writing lyrics haha~ lousy ones though... a few of them are drafts in my blog, cos i'm not satisfied with them... so it's left to editing editing and further editing until i'm happy with them and i might post them around sometime... haha~ and i wonder when that'll be, considering how little time i have to sit down n mull over this kind of things...
sometimes i wonder if i give people the wrong impression. oh wait. i do. lolx... and i can't decide whether i wanna clear things up or stuff... sometimes it's just me thinking too much i suppose... ok let's take it that i'm always thinking too much... haha life's much easier if that's the case...
i wish that i can just focus on the things i see and stop thinking so much sometimes. it's quite a bother at times... and my imagination can actually be quite wild... some areas are better off left unexplored... haha~
loads of things waiting to be cleared : two tutorials for tomorrow, my lab report, typing email to prof for project, catching up 4 tutorials worth of material for the quiz next week plus my other 4 tutorials that i lagged*besides the 4 tutorials mentioned earlier* plus catching up on sleep and finding time to watch tv XD sighz. end of the day, i just wish for another clone. oh god. can't u just grant a simple wish of mine? *er not exactly simple but who cares lol*
30 January 2007
stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stressed!!!
wow. even typing that line makes me feel stressed.
waking up this morning, only to feel stressed up instead of feeling refreshed. try waking up next day when u have lagged your tutorials for two core subjects which one of the lecturers go through only 3 slides from the whole chapter of lecture notes, and tell u to go home and read your own textbook when the textbook doesn't even help u in solving tutorial questions. and you have no idea whether you can cope the other subject cos u're lagging so badly. plus the elective which you physically attend the lecture, but ur soul is floating somewhere else besides inside the lt...
makes me wonder if i just did something stupid to kill myself in the semester again. sighz.
on a side note, i just realised a few days ago that i have 8 papers in comparison to others' 6 papers in the coming exam. wow i feel like... holy shit. -_-
and oh yes, i have a lab report due in 2 weeks time. remember that. -_-
i dreamt of gates this morning. not logic gates, you electronics freak. it looked like gates from the mrt station, except they're extremely narrow... for kids from a few months to 1-5 years old -_- i can't remember why i was trying to get past them... but i can't squeeze through all of them *duhhz*... except finally before i woke up, i managed to squeeze through the 1-5 year old gate. i wonder if it's a bad omen of me not able to get past my exams n stuff... haiz...
sighz. thinking about this whole thing from another perspective, it's just all misplanning of my time. i wanted to do tutorial yesterday night after school, but i ended up watching youtube all the way until my head hits the bed. when i wanted to do my tutorial i just felt like sleeping *well my "study table" is next to my bed wahahaha* maybe i should force myself to study out like i did last time... but it's hard to find that self motivation... i felt like i lost it totally already... damn demoralised... especially with that lecturer who dumped us the whole chapter of notes to self study... i wanna relax a little but i feel so damn tensed up now that it's irritating me. =X
so many things i wanna do, so little time. sighz. i just want my clone.
wow. even typing that line makes me feel stressed.
waking up this morning, only to feel stressed up instead of feeling refreshed. try waking up next day when u have lagged your tutorials for two core subjects which one of the lecturers go through only 3 slides from the whole chapter of lecture notes, and tell u to go home and read your own textbook when the textbook doesn't even help u in solving tutorial questions. and you have no idea whether you can cope the other subject cos u're lagging so badly. plus the elective which you physically attend the lecture, but ur soul is floating somewhere else besides inside the lt...
makes me wonder if i just did something stupid to kill myself in the semester again. sighz.
on a side note, i just realised a few days ago that i have 8 papers in comparison to others' 6 papers in the coming exam. wow i feel like... holy shit. -_-
and oh yes, i have a lab report due in 2 weeks time. remember that. -_-
i dreamt of gates this morning. not logic gates, you electronics freak. it looked like gates from the mrt station, except they're extremely narrow... for kids from a few months to 1-5 years old -_- i can't remember why i was trying to get past them... but i can't squeeze through all of them *duhhz*... except finally before i woke up, i managed to squeeze through the 1-5 year old gate. i wonder if it's a bad omen of me not able to get past my exams n stuff... haiz...
sighz. thinking about this whole thing from another perspective, it's just all misplanning of my time. i wanted to do tutorial yesterday night after school, but i ended up watching youtube all the way until my head hits the bed. when i wanted to do my tutorial i just felt like sleeping *well my "study table" is next to my bed wahahaha* maybe i should force myself to study out like i did last time... but it's hard to find that self motivation... i felt like i lost it totally already... damn demoralised... especially with that lecturer who dumped us the whole chapter of notes to self study... i wanna relax a little but i feel so damn tensed up now that it's irritating me. =X
so many things i wanna do, so little time. sighz. i just want my clone.
29 January 2007
resolution resolution resolution.
ok. this mini new year resolution is a little late, but...
i promise i shan't watch youtube till 1+am when i have school at 830 the next day.
and sometimes... maybe i just think too much. to the extent of getting a headache over nothing. that feeling sux.
i promise i shan't watch youtube till 1+am when i have school at 830 the next day.
and sometimes... maybe i just think too much. to the extent of getting a headache over nothing. that feeling sux.
19 January 2007
had been talking to my lecture/tutorial mate to pass time during our break *cos he had a 1hr break while i had 2hr break ='(* don't know why... it seems like i haven't really talked to someone besides my close friends at such length for such a long time... quite a lot of things came to my mind...
how do we judge people's personalities? do we judge by how things look to us? some actions taken can be interpreted in so many different ways, so how do we know whether our perceptions are the "true" meaning behind that person's actions?
sometimes people fall in love at first sight... why? is it just physical attraction? if that's the case, can it be considered as true love? wait what's true love in the first place lolx...
what does the idea of being kind mean? does it mean donating to charity, or going way out to help people? what if when someone donates to charity, he/she is just doing it to look good infront of others? or maybe he/she donates to that charity cos of personal reasons? *like family/relative is under that particular charity organisation* is that still considered as "kindness"? same thing goes to going way out to help people... maybe the one doing that has some hidden motive or feels guilty cos of something he did before?
i suppose we generalise too much... we frame the idea of a certain action as a gesture of kindness... what exactly is kindness? is it the act or the thought behind it?
take for example, our mom... every mother in the world *i generalise* wants their child to become good adults... our mum screams at our poor results and our bad habits and so on... so is that just being picky or mean? what about the "kindness" behind the action?
bottom line : things aren't what it seems. don't go about making a conclusion on your own just based on the things you see, for your eyes can deceive you...
omgs why do i seem to like typing about this kind of "philosophical" stuff when i'm having breaks in school these days? rawr. just lemme end school already.
how do we judge people's personalities? do we judge by how things look to us? some actions taken can be interpreted in so many different ways, so how do we know whether our perceptions are the "true" meaning behind that person's actions?
sometimes people fall in love at first sight... why? is it just physical attraction? if that's the case, can it be considered as true love? wait what's true love in the first place lolx...
what does the idea of being kind mean? does it mean donating to charity, or going way out to help people? what if when someone donates to charity, he/she is just doing it to look good infront of others? or maybe he/she donates to that charity cos of personal reasons? *like family/relative is under that particular charity organisation* is that still considered as "kindness"? same thing goes to going way out to help people... maybe the one doing that has some hidden motive or feels guilty cos of something he did before?
i suppose we generalise too much... we frame the idea of a certain action as a gesture of kindness... what exactly is kindness? is it the act or the thought behind it?
take for example, our mom... every mother in the world *i generalise* wants their child to become good adults... our mum screams at our poor results and our bad habits and so on... so is that just being picky or mean? what about the "kindness" behind the action?
bottom line : things aren't what it seems. don't go about making a conclusion on your own just based on the things you see, for your eyes can deceive you...
omgs why do i seem to like typing about this kind of "philosophical" stuff when i'm having breaks in school these days? rawr. just lemme end school already.
17 January 2007
14 January 2007
yes! finally the big move from old blogger to the new blogger!
time check : 1:27am on a sunday morning. what am i doing here? dazing with a mild headache most likely from the alcohol intake earlier. despite the supposedly "drowsy" effect one gets from excess alcohol which i should have now, after bathing and water-parading, i feel as though i just woke up. *well i did... i woke up from being seh~*
been thinking about this whole idea for the past week. yes it's damn clique, my sis has blogged about it a long time ago, and i think the entry below will probably sound like some gp essay, but heck i'm going to voice my thoughts on my blog. it's mine. don't read it if u dun like. rawr! <-- effects of alcohol still evidents lol~
what is beauty? is it something that is colourful, or something that abides to the golden ratio? is beauty something about one's looks? when we see someone across the street, we start making some mental impressions like... oh that girl's so beautiful! or.. omgs that guy just looks ugly with that set of clothing. do we ever think a little deeper to ourselves whenever we make such opinions about others, that we can't judge beauty just by looks?
society has formed us in such a way that we follow the notions of beauty our community has formed with the "help" of media... like for example, a while ago girls are so crazy over guys with single eye lids cos it's supposed to mean the guy is cute. or a egg-shaped face is supposed to mean one's chio... or even, as stereotyped by many, a girl with big eyes is pretty. however, is someone without these traits ugly?
sadly, people these days, especially those who have grown up and have lesser and lesser time to interact with others, have to resort to judging one's beauty just by looks. we no longer have the time and effort to display our "inner" beauty or even "inner" ugliness if we have the outer looks to others, because we're all in a rush for time, with no time to explain ourselves.
even if we decide to abandon the guidelines set aside by the society to perceive beauty, how can we decide whether one has inner beauty? must that person abide to some specific characteristic? like to be kind and giving, gentle? or those that always put others before themselves?
i'm really drawn to the latest manga i'm crazy over... it talks about the idea of beauty and the ugly side of it. there's always two sides to the coin -- no matter how beautiful something is, there's something ugly about it... nothing's perfect in the world... this is probably what it means...
i'm really touched by something i saw today -- at my friend's birthday celebration, her crush gave her flowers and sort of "confessed" his feelings to her... a beautiful start of a new relationship on a rainy night on her birthday... it was so sweet and beautiful that i almost wanted to cry. but *i'm just being pessimistic, i'm so sorry amelia* i thought about how something sweet and beautiful will have ugly side to it... like... *i'm so sorry i'm so sorry! i'm not cursing u or anything!* a relationship is always beautiful when u start out, but once u go further things might get ugly....
so what exactly is beauty? i don't know the answer to that, i only know what's ugly. like selfishness. wilfulness. rotten food, cockroaches, lizards, moths... etc. i never like ugly things. like myself. all i can see of myself are my imperfections. i'm ugly. i know no one's perfect in the world, but strangely i can see and admire others' strength in character despite their imperfections, but not for me at all. i hate myself to the core... if not for those who care about me or my parents who gave me my body, i'll probably not be in this world or have started cutting myself or something. but i'm still alive. and i don't know why haha.
my ugliness is probably my lack of confidence. and my inability to try to discover whatever strengths i might have. being unable to shine, unable to seek happiness? what's happiness in the first place? is it simply a hot drink on a cold day? or being able to soak in the pool or to eat ice-cream on a hot day? i tend to forget this small kind of happiness really easily... and i kinda hate myself for that.
is eternity considered as beauty? i used to think that eternal love is... but then i realised that never existed. so is beauty all a pointless chase over something inexistent in our world? they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. for something that one can neither see nor touch, is it still beautiful? if something non-existent can't be considered as beautiful, then are the changes that destroyed eternity beautiful? even for something eternal, sometimes it can't be beautiful... like if we only have eternal nights, would we be able to appreciate its beauty without comparing it to the beauty/ugliness of day?
i suppose beauty is all subjective. so is every other abstract idea in the world probably. we always need to have something to compare with another to determine how beautiful something is.
a strange thought just popped up in my mind -- could it be that when comparing one's looks, we consider something that we don't have as beautiful cos we can never obtain it? like for girls with small eyes, they'll think others with big eyes are beautiful. someone else's possessions are beautiful because we don't own them. haha now things are starting to make a little more sense to me...
wow this brings me to other thoughts about other issues : the issue of greediness. we're never satisfied with what we have -- like young kids who always complain to their mums about whichever toy their friends have but they do not own, how we're unable to immerse in the small little happiness we have from our daily lives and envy how enriching and beautiful other people's lives are... well long way to go down that path, so i shall stop here for now...
time check : 1:27am on a sunday morning. what am i doing here? dazing with a mild headache most likely from the alcohol intake earlier. despite the supposedly "drowsy" effect one gets from excess alcohol which i should have now, after bathing and water-parading, i feel as though i just woke up. *well i did... i woke up from being seh~*
been thinking about this whole idea for the past week. yes it's damn clique, my sis has blogged about it a long time ago, and i think the entry below will probably sound like some gp essay, but heck i'm going to voice my thoughts on my blog. it's mine. don't read it if u dun like. rawr! <-- effects of alcohol still evidents lol~
what is beauty? is it something that is colourful, or something that abides to the golden ratio? is beauty something about one's looks? when we see someone across the street, we start making some mental impressions like... oh that girl's so beautiful! or.. omgs that guy just looks ugly with that set of clothing. do we ever think a little deeper to ourselves whenever we make such opinions about others, that we can't judge beauty just by looks?
society has formed us in such a way that we follow the notions of beauty our community has formed with the "help" of media... like for example, a while ago girls are so crazy over guys with single eye lids cos it's supposed to mean the guy is cute. or a egg-shaped face is supposed to mean one's chio... or even, as stereotyped by many, a girl with big eyes is pretty. however, is someone without these traits ugly?
sadly, people these days, especially those who have grown up and have lesser and lesser time to interact with others, have to resort to judging one's beauty just by looks. we no longer have the time and effort to display our "inner" beauty or even "inner" ugliness if we have the outer looks to others, because we're all in a rush for time, with no time to explain ourselves.
even if we decide to abandon the guidelines set aside by the society to perceive beauty, how can we decide whether one has inner beauty? must that person abide to some specific characteristic? like to be kind and giving, gentle? or those that always put others before themselves?
i'm really drawn to the latest manga i'm crazy over... it talks about the idea of beauty and the ugly side of it. there's always two sides to the coin -- no matter how beautiful something is, there's something ugly about it... nothing's perfect in the world... this is probably what it means...
i'm really touched by something i saw today -- at my friend's birthday celebration, her crush gave her flowers and sort of "confessed" his feelings to her... a beautiful start of a new relationship on a rainy night on her birthday... it was so sweet and beautiful that i almost wanted to cry. but *i'm just being pessimistic, i'm so sorry amelia* i thought about how something sweet and beautiful will have ugly side to it... like... *i'm so sorry i'm so sorry! i'm not cursing u or anything!* a relationship is always beautiful when u start out, but once u go further things might get ugly....
so what exactly is beauty? i don't know the answer to that, i only know what's ugly. like selfishness. wilfulness. rotten food, cockroaches, lizards, moths... etc. i never like ugly things. like myself. all i can see of myself are my imperfections. i'm ugly. i know no one's perfect in the world, but strangely i can see and admire others' strength in character despite their imperfections, but not for me at all. i hate myself to the core... if not for those who care about me or my parents who gave me my body, i'll probably not be in this world or have started cutting myself or something. but i'm still alive. and i don't know why haha.
my ugliness is probably my lack of confidence. and my inability to try to discover whatever strengths i might have. being unable to shine, unable to seek happiness? what's happiness in the first place? is it simply a hot drink on a cold day? or being able to soak in the pool or to eat ice-cream on a hot day? i tend to forget this small kind of happiness really easily... and i kinda hate myself for that.
is eternity considered as beauty? i used to think that eternal love is... but then i realised that never existed. so is beauty all a pointless chase over something inexistent in our world? they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. for something that one can neither see nor touch, is it still beautiful? if something non-existent can't be considered as beautiful, then are the changes that destroyed eternity beautiful? even for something eternal, sometimes it can't be beautiful... like if we only have eternal nights, would we be able to appreciate its beauty without comparing it to the beauty/ugliness of day?
i suppose beauty is all subjective. so is every other abstract idea in the world probably. we always need to have something to compare with another to determine how beautiful something is.
a strange thought just popped up in my mind -- could it be that when comparing one's looks, we consider something that we don't have as beautiful cos we can never obtain it? like for girls with small eyes, they'll think others with big eyes are beautiful. someone else's possessions are beautiful because we don't own them. haha now things are starting to make a little more sense to me...
wow this brings me to other thoughts about other issues : the issue of greediness. we're never satisfied with what we have -- like young kids who always complain to their mums about whichever toy their friends have but they do not own, how we're unable to immerse in the small little happiness we have from our daily lives and envy how enriching and beautiful other people's lives are... well long way to go down that path, so i shall stop here for now...
06 January 2007
just another 2 days to school reopening! after much complaints, nagging and so on, i finally decide to sit down and tidy up my study tables on a nice sunny saturday afternoon where people are supposed to go out and play. why! tell me why!
anyway, here's how terrible my table looks *that's y i had to clear it up today =(* presenting to you... my study/laptop table! *btw, it's near my living room...*
how does that look to you? if you think it's still ok... wait till u see my second study table! *or rather, coffee table that's in my room...*
err.... apologies to the poor photo taking skills... somehow no matter how i take the picture it'll always turn out bad. cos of the lighting of the room... no windows opened, curtains closed, never turn on lights... yar u get the idea... all sort of stuffs on my coffee table that's right next to my bed : 花ざかりの君たちへ manga, 花样少年少女 OST, erms... lyrics book from 梁静茹's latest album.... er the black thing is my laptop cover, blue octopus is my... erms... the thing to hit my back when it aches... yeap... my post it pad, handiplast, calculators... and well... a roll of toilet paper... too poor to buy a box of tissues lmao! the things under my table are all my notes n files... and i've already done a bit of packing of it already... else it'll look even worse...
while packing... some interesting discoveries...
er... sorry for the lousy lighting... this was my diary... i mean it still is, but i no longer write in it... it used to record my memories of my previous relationship, so when i re-read this again somehow the painful memories came back, but then i'm okies... i think i'll have cried if this happened a year ago but hey, i'm stronger now XD
and yes! i found my s.h.e file! free promotion gift from their forever album, it's so nice that up till now i still dun bear to use it hehex... er the file looks nicer than the picture due to my lack of photo shooting skills... hehex~
and..... *drum rolls* after 4 hours of packing *are u serious?*... this is how the end result looks like...
erms.... though u probably can't tell much of a difference between the before and after for the lower compartment of my coffee table... but hey! at least things look neater... though some other parts of the room looks messier... hehex~ but oh well i don't care already, i've done my part so my mum can't nag at me again! bwahahahaha~
anyway, here's how terrible my table looks *that's y i had to clear it up today =(* presenting to you... my study/laptop table! *btw, it's near my living room...*
how does that look to you? if you think it's still ok... wait till u see my second study table! *or rather, coffee table that's in my room...*
err.... apologies to the poor photo taking skills... somehow no matter how i take the picture it'll always turn out bad. cos of the lighting of the room... no windows opened, curtains closed, never turn on lights... yar u get the idea... all sort of stuffs on my coffee table that's right next to my bed : 花ざかりの君たちへ manga, 花样少年少女 OST, erms... lyrics book from 梁静茹's latest album.... er the black thing is my laptop cover, blue octopus is my... erms... the thing to hit my back when it aches... yeap... my post it pad, handiplast, calculators... and well... a roll of toilet paper... too poor to buy a box of tissues lmao! the things under my table are all my notes n files... and i've already done a bit of packing of it already... else it'll look even worse...
while packing... some interesting discoveries...
er... sorry for the lousy lighting... this was my diary... i mean it still is, but i no longer write in it... it used to record my memories of my previous relationship, so when i re-read this again somehow the painful memories came back, but then i'm okies... i think i'll have cried if this happened a year ago but hey, i'm stronger now XD
and yes! i found my s.h.e file! free promotion gift from their forever album, it's so nice that up till now i still dun bear to use it hehex... er the file looks nicer than the picture due to my lack of photo shooting skills... hehex~
and..... *drum rolls* after 4 hours of packing *are u serious?*... this is how the end result looks like...
erms.... though u probably can't tell much of a difference between the before and after for the lower compartment of my coffee table... but hey! at least things look neater... though some other parts of the room looks messier... hehex~ but oh well i don't care already, i've done my part so my mum can't nag at me again! bwahahahaha~
03 January 2007
3rd january! start of the new year! *well not exactly the real start, but somewhere around there*
and what am i doing here at 9:10am which is supposed to be my sleeping time now? camping for my subject registration. -_-
some things to make my sleepy brain jerk awake... school starts in another 5 days time... things yet to be done : pack my table(s), start looking for new tuition deals blah blah blah. and yes! i haven't set my new year's resolutions! and here it goes.... the countdown to my new year resolutions!
1. lose some weight! *er notice the keyword here is some*
2. improve on my results! *being on the border of 4.5 is making me extremely nervous...*
3. get a job with good pay! i'm poor poor poor...
4. after getting a job, i must save! *yar i spend money like flowing water =(*
5. improve on time management! *my last year was... hectic. -_-*
6. to revert back to my old self =)
7. to seek inner peace *which i think i've acheived last year but i'll put it here again =)*
yeap... er... 7 here... not a lot not too little either... the first 5 are more realistic and can be accomplished... but the last 2... er... i have no idea how to reach this kind of goal... hehex... will take my time to settle down... and try to be more cheerful. hopes for 2007 : WORLD PEACE! my foot. i was jokings lol... hope that my friends wherever they are will be happy, and of course i hope i'll be happy too lol~ time to seek happiness! but not at the expense of others and my responsibilities as well lol...
er... i said i'll be changing my blog layout... but sadly i lack the "resources" to do that lol... i wanted to draw something for the new layout, but haven't set out to do so yet *even though it's an extremely simple one* cos i can't decide to draw on paper and scan in, or to draw straight on the computer or something... i think the latter is better but i don't have the kind of pen to do that... in other words. i'm lazy and trying to look for excuse. lol! school term approaching means not much time left to accomplish the little goal i set for myself last year... so... ahems.
and my anime blog! i hope i can plan my time properly so that i can properly blog the good stuff i watch weekly... though it seems to me that the fansubs are a little irregular in their release of subbed episodes, but hey! i'm not complaining... trying to slack while there are no releases lol... goal for anime blog : try to get more hits from other pple lol... *starts refreshing anime blog browser like crazy*
to all readers out there! have a great year ahead and may all ur dreams n wishes for 2007 come true~!
and what am i doing here at 9:10am which is supposed to be my sleeping time now? camping for my subject registration. -_-
some things to make my sleepy brain jerk awake... school starts in another 5 days time... things yet to be done : pack my table(s), start looking for new tuition deals blah blah blah. and yes! i haven't set my new year's resolutions! and here it goes.... the countdown to my new year resolutions!
1. lose some weight! *er notice the keyword here is some*
2. improve on my results! *being on the border of 4.5 is making me extremely nervous...*
3. get a job with good pay! i'm poor poor poor...
4. after getting a job, i must save! *yar i spend money like flowing water =(*
5. improve on time management! *my last year was... hectic. -_-*
6. to revert back to my old self =)
7. to seek inner peace *which i think i've acheived last year but i'll put it here again =)*
yeap... er... 7 here... not a lot not too little either... the first 5 are more realistic and can be accomplished... but the last 2... er... i have no idea how to reach this kind of goal... hehex... will take my time to settle down... and try to be more cheerful. hopes for 2007 : WORLD PEACE! my foot. i was jokings lol... hope that my friends wherever they are will be happy, and of course i hope i'll be happy too lol~ time to seek happiness! but not at the expense of others and my responsibilities as well lol...
er... i said i'll be changing my blog layout... but sadly i lack the "resources" to do that lol... i wanted to draw something for the new layout, but haven't set out to do so yet *even though it's an extremely simple one* cos i can't decide to draw on paper and scan in, or to draw straight on the computer or something... i think the latter is better but i don't have the kind of pen to do that... in other words. i'm lazy and trying to look for excuse. lol! school term approaching means not much time left to accomplish the little goal i set for myself last year... so... ahems.
and my anime blog! i hope i can plan my time properly so that i can properly blog the good stuff i watch weekly... though it seems to me that the fansubs are a little irregular in their release of subbed episodes, but hey! i'm not complaining... trying to slack while there are no releases lol... goal for anime blog : try to get more hits from other pple lol... *starts refreshing anime blog browser like crazy*
to all readers out there! have a great year ahead and may all ur dreams n wishes for 2007 come true~!
24 December 2006
merry merry christmas n a happy happy new year! wooo~~~ *opens party poppers!*
been looking through my past blog entries... it seems like i'm extremely fond of blogging late at night *since i usually take a darn long time to type out a single entry* so now i'll be a little special and blog at 12 noon lol! what nonsense...
going to be a lightbulb in another 2 hrs time haha... loads of thoughts in my mind now... random stuff mostly... like will i be able to get all the christmas prezzies in time? will things get awkward later? i wanna eat ice cream *LOL!* i like the j pop i'm listening to now... mostly anime songs... i wish the weather will stay cool like this now... feels a little hungry. omg these are really random thoughts! ok not so random stuff... how to move this blog to the new blogger... how to design a new blog layout before school reopens... rawr.
just got myself addicted to the new taiwan series 花样少年少女, adapted from the japanese manga series 花ざかりの君たちへ... this was the series that made me spend 100+ bucks the other day... and now i'm going crazy over the show plus the OST... darn nice! now waiting for tml afternoon which is when the next episode will be uploaded onto youtube... for once i rejoiced over the great invention *erms not really* of youtube! cheers to whoever who started that site!
ok enough crap... time to go out and act bright. XD
been looking through my past blog entries... it seems like i'm extremely fond of blogging late at night *since i usually take a darn long time to type out a single entry* so now i'll be a little special and blog at 12 noon lol! what nonsense...
going to be a lightbulb in another 2 hrs time haha... loads of thoughts in my mind now... random stuff mostly... like will i be able to get all the christmas prezzies in time? will things get awkward later? i wanna eat ice cream *LOL!* i like the j pop i'm listening to now... mostly anime songs... i wish the weather will stay cool like this now... feels a little hungry. omg these are really random thoughts! ok not so random stuff... how to move this blog to the new blogger... how to design a new blog layout before school reopens... rawr.
just got myself addicted to the new taiwan series 花样少年少女, adapted from the japanese manga series 花ざかりの君たちへ... this was the series that made me spend 100+ bucks the other day... and now i'm going crazy over the show plus the OST... darn nice! now waiting for tml afternoon which is when the next episode will be uploaded onto youtube... for once i rejoiced over the great invention *erms not really* of youtube! cheers to whoever who started that site!
ok enough crap... time to go out and act bright. XD
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