Of Smiles and Sunshine

sometimes even though u know that u can definitely go on, but you just wanna break down and let loose of all the things pent up in you. today is one of such days when i just wanna pull my hair out and cry and whine abt things lol.

reminds me of the song mark likes to sing.... there was a time~ when people said that singapore wouldn't make it... but we did... there was a time... when troubles seem too much for us to take... but we did...

ok laugh la. wad's with me being patriotic all of a sudden when national day is long past? oh well... even if we have too many troubles, things will eventually turn out fine bah i suppose...

i guess i need to plan my time properly and rest properly too... was feeling giddy yesterday and i wonder if it was cos i skipped dinner the day before when i was at work lmao. so i ate that night's dinner together with yesterday night's dinner and my stomach feels super bloated today LOL. where got pple compensate for a skipped meal like i do seriously... zzz













i wonder sometimes... whether i exhibit half hearted kindness to others. i suppose i do... lol~ but i'm definitely not the only one. perhaps, people are only kind to you when they see benefits to it. i don't know why i'm so negative when it comes to such things... is there some way for me to view it more positively? like i do exhibit half hearted kindness to others... sometimes it's because i feel it's not worth it and things like that. i liked myself better last time when i wouldn't care about anything and help others out just because they needed the help, regardless of whether it was called for or not. where did that me go to? is it lost in the dark world i've started to notice a few years back?

reminds me of what one of my favourite profs said yesterday... we cry the first thing we come to earth, because we've just stepped onto this cruel world... and though it's humourous... i suppose that's quite true... for a while i've got a thought that maybe we're all here as a punishment... lol! if god exists, and so does heaven and angels... maybe we were all angels once, but sent down to earth as punishment for something we've done wrong or something... or am i too bhb to think of ourselves as angels before we came here? lmao~

ok time to go back to lecture recording and start on my tutorial... how can i finish all my tutorials + project + lab reports + presentations on time???? \(TTmTT)/