wAd aM | dO|nG?

dun understand wassup wif me... these few daes.... juz feel tt i'm not in a terribly good mood... like i'm not totally "myself"... get irritated easily... feel really tired and sick....

juz yesterdae... i did quite a few things which i dun understand y i did them... coming to think of it... i felt tt i shouldn't have done so.... dun understand y i am not in the "right" frame of mind.... going abt showing others impatience and stuff... the usual me would probably not be so easily irritated and get impatient....

the more i think of stuff... the more confused i am.... dunno wad i'm doing.... feeling lost.... lost in my thoughts probably... thinking of so many things... most of the time thinking of one person though... sad life... but not happy thoughts... i think i'm becoming more and more irrational... hahas.... is this bad? i think so.... hahas...

dun understand... y i'm doing stuff which would probably make others unhappy... and dun understand y i'm doing stuff which would also upset myself... dunno whether i should be happy... sad... upset... or joyous.... disappointed... relieved or anything.... feel like i'm floating again... lost probably... looking for something probably... but i dunno wad it is... hahas...

wad is the real me? izzit the one who always go around laffing her head off... self entertaining herself... trying to bring joy to others..... or izzit the one who's always so deep in thought.... the pessimist... or izzit the impatient one.... rash and impulsive... maybe all these are part of me... the different sides of me... but which one is my true self? sometimes... i'm really tired... others keep saying tt i'm such a nice person... but... am i really tt nice? really tired now.... tired of being the nice person or so they say... sometimes wonder... wad if i decide to be a baddie now... hahas.. wonder wad would happen...