sHoULd | LeT gO oF mYsELf?

hahas... todae went for ccy camp.. supposed to be doing cip work and stuff.. hahas.. dunno y ar... in the end we played games the whole dae.. hahas....

todae.. learnt quite some stuff during a talk which i would usually have branded it as boring.... learn tt we muz acknowledge other's talents as well as our own... every child is gifted... this helps me build a little self confidence...

oso... keep giving... though we might have setbacks such as mistakes we could have commited, sickness or some other stuff... we should use these as motivation to make us continue giving... and most importantly... to learn to give... even when it hurts.. den continue giving more... :D

i think this is the most important i learnt todae.... cos... i've been feeling really tired nowadays... really started doubting the reasons behind wad i'm doing now.... wonder if i'm being too nice until i'm bullied and i dunno ... and wonder if it's easier for me to be not so nice.. to juz ignore other pple's feelings and stuff... sometimes... giving... hurts... even now... i still feel a little hurt when i try to give... maybe to a certain extent.. please the pple ard me.. hahas... really feel tired... juz feel like stopping.. but this talk gave me to motivation to move on with a renewed vigour...

another important thing which set me thinking during the talk was the thing of letting go of our consciousness... we dun give others or give really little to others because of our fear of being ridiculed... of being rejected and stuff... and so... in this case... if we feel hurt when giving to others... we should maybe let go of ourselves.. or look at things from the bigger picture... maybe i should do that... though i noe it'll hurt for me to do this... because i dunno wad's the implications of me letting go of my consciousness... but perhaps it'll be a little easier on my part... i dunno... the future is full of uncertainty bah.... hahas...

had much fun in this camp.... todae... though played games ... den ended up really dirty and stuff... but got to know more pple... kinda look forward to doing cip tomoloz.. hahas.. dunno when i'm so enthu abt this.. hehes... the structural lunch and stuff.. hahas... :P

after our camp... all dirty and stuff.. i went to clean up... went for dinner.. den went to study for sat... this is the time when i really tried to apply wad i learnt during the talk todae... cos as i tried to "give" to my two friends studying wif me... i noe i'm being silly... doing something which is totally not required on my part... there's no need for me to do tt.. and by doing so i'm in a sense being bullied and stuff... but... in the end i still gave them a free drink.. hahas.. actually.. coming to think of it.. it's such a small matter... but dun understand y i'll feeling so "hurt" abt simply giving such a small "treat"... hahas...

should i let go of myself? this is the question tt i really wonder now... a while ago.. i was feeling hurt cos of relationship stuff... now i seem to be facing tt feeling everyday cos i'm practically thinking abt it so often... if i let go of myself... i would probably feel less pain... but would tt mean i would sink further in? i really dunno... really unsure of wad this "choice" would probably lead to...

really look forward to the paint job tomoloz.. :D