m| sh| dE x|aO m|aN yAnG...

hahas.. long time nv post here liaoz..

these few days.... some pple say tt i look sad... well.. actually.. it's pansy and weixiang.. they said tt i looked sad.. when i wasn't feeling sad at all... how furnie.. hahas... den i went to ask junyi how i looked for the past few days.. he said i look lost... like i've lost my goal in life... i think this is quite true... unfortunately... hahas...

feel like i'm a lost sheep... bumping my way around... wonder whether it's becoz of tt guy... hope not... but i really dunno... sighz.. these few days.. not happy but not sad either... sometimes i really wanna cry.. but i juz can't form the tears in my eyes... laugh... junyi said tt when i laff he could tell tt i wasn't laffing from the bottom of my heart... arrgh... i really dunno wad to do...

maybe it's time i set myself a goal... and stop feeling lost... but wad goal would keep me focused? izzit studies? short term goal maybe... but wad abt long term? sighz... ask me to choose a path... i wun even noe wad paths r b4 me.. hahas... sotong jiu shi sotong mahz.. hahas..

dunno y ar... todae... tt person wif 10 letter name was so weird... pple say he got pms.. hahas... after our practice at around 7, he started to chase everybody in the mph away, without making a sound... he switched off the lights, locked the door and went off liddat with many pple still practising inside... knowing tt pple can still unlock the doors from the inside... wonder wad's wrong wif him.. probably it's cos of the practice with his solo song earlier... this makes me more curious as to the things tt happened with regards to him when he was back in hc.. hahas... me very kaypo ar... :P

sometimes i really question myself... y did i join the practices after my concert? y did i tie myself to this "commitment" which i dun feel committed to? i feel like i dun really noe the pple there... feel kinda distant from the pple at alumni co... sometimes i really hate myself for being so thick skinned to join a co with guys as the majority... hahas.. watashi wa baka desu...