Of Smiles and Sunshine

i read my chat log with my friend 3 years ago by accident today. it was amazing, i didn't knew i could say such philosophical things... about life, about our world and society... but looking at the things i say or do or even think now... they're so... mundane. i've become more financially independent, saw more of the world, experienced more joy and heartbreak... so what? instead of giving more things thought and gaining my own perspective of the world, i have become more and more drawn to my own personal problems, taking in information and not going the extra mile to process them.

even now, i'm still looking at my inner self instead of giving attention to things beyond my personal needs and boundaries.

perhaps, in order to go beyond our own boundaries, we need to first satisfy our own needs. once we have satisfied the basic physiological, safety, love/belonging, and esteem needs, (of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs) before we can even talk about morality and etc. could it be that i have unfulfilled needs from the lower levels of the hierarchy, causing me to have left out the satisfaction of higher level moral and creativity needs?

then again, maybe this is all an excuse.