sometimes i wonder... why do i feel the way i do? sometimes in afterthought, i wonder why i had done certain things at that point in time... i felt stupid doing them, knowing that there's no point probably in doing them...
am i just being over-sensitive?
i was a little happy some time back when i received an email from someone i didn't expect. not that it was the kinds of email i exchange with my really close friends to catch up on each other, it's just some forwarded email. but, i was still happy. it showed that that person remembered me. though later it turned out to be some sort of spam mail, it still kinda made my day. weird har? even now i don't understand why i felt this way. and i replied to that mail (stupidly)... but i suppose i wouldn't get a reply haha... we're probably just acquaintances, and thus it'll be weird if either one of us reply to each other anyway hahaha~ now i just laugh at how stupid i was... lol~
and maybe i'm really too mimosa as how one of my housemates usually puts it... i got quite... put off when someone whom i've kinda "argued" with... sorta "suan" me with a mail i forwarded which turned out to be a spam mail... i dunno whether i'm just being oversensitive or not, i hope i am... but it still didn't feel good, cos i tot that person was someone who knew me pretty well... or maybe distance does change a lot of things... i don't know anything anymore...
ok below is just some of my inner thoughts... it doesn't mean that i'm suffering here in shanghai... of course everyone will have their own problems with their life wherever they are, but when pple back in singapore ask me how am i, of course i'll reply, i'm doing great! wad else can i say? complain how i'm unused to life here in shanghai? i wouldn't want others to worry about me, but it seems like everybody is under the impression that i'm in shanghai to play, enjoy life and not to work at all. i repeat, everybody has their own problems, just whether they want to emphasize it to others or not. but i do admit, i have my share of play too... and enjoying life... but it's too sweeping a statement to just say i'm here only for that...
haha this brings to mind what another one of my housemates posed to me as a question today... so, do you suppress your true self to others usually? i wonder... haha.
i suppose so... lol.
wad's really bothering me is, why am i suppressing myself in front of someone whom i consider a pretty close friend?
i guess i just had a really tough day today...
i might be going to the mayday concert live in shanghai at the end of april!!! kinda excited cos it's my first live concert if i'm going for it... but then again, i'm a little poor... and i wanna buy a nikey jacket! jialats... that's like 2/3 of my pay gone already if i'm going to spend on these things, and there's still my shopping trip this coming friday, a visit to peach blossom garden which costs approximately 100rmb this sunday... arrgh! why dun i have some rich boyfriend in shanghai??!!! o.O
haha i suppose this is just a sign of lack of sleep =)) good nite, world...
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