Greediness

... is there such a word?

I feel I'm overly greedy. There are so many things I want to do, so many people I wish I could get closer to learn more about their lives or to maybe "help" them but there's this invisible line I have to observe, not just for them but for myself too. It's a really delicate balance there which, once anyone goes over the line it's like all hell would break loose...

And I'm back to the idea of helping others out. I might "overly" think about my motives and others motives for helping people out. This may sound... bad, but I wonder... The past few days I have been helping my boyfriend out to paint his new house as if otherwise it would only be him working on this task alone, and I have past experience in painting the entire house so I know how tough and tiring it can be, which is the reason I want to help despite the long journey to his new home and how tiring the process it. But why is he the only person working on this project...? Mean part ahead, but... his father can also help out since he is not working every weekday, but he's not helping with the paint job directly, he'll just buy the supplies or bring stuff from the current house to the new house where we would be painting... I wonder is it really because he doesn't care? Or was it because I am helping out there so he felt there was no need to help? Or is it because I was there he didn't want to be lightbulb...? Would he see me helping my boyfriend out these few days as me working for the new house which could potentially become my future home...? All these thought makes my head hurt... And my heart to hurt too.

To help or not to help, that is indeed a really profound question for me to find the answer to for every situation I encounter.