help

helping people

a helping of ice-cream

sir, may i help you?

help! i'm drowning!

help out at a store

please help yourselves!

help to relieve pain

just checking out "help" on the dictionary gave so many different meanings to this simple and innocent looking word. this is a word that is used pretty often in the world, as no man is an island (most of the time). at many times of our lives, we give or are subjected to "help" to and from others.

do you enjoy helping others?

why do you help others?

why and when should you help?

some people is always on the look-out to provide help. they've been through those difficult parts of life, where having no help at all was really painful; thus they do not wish for others to follow in their paths.

some help because their friends asked or seems to need help. to help foster and maintain the relationship, they'll offer their hand of assistance, be it gladly or grudgingly.

some just... help. not because of anything. just. out of the pure goodness in their hearts. laugh.

there's another category of people who are pretty eager to help others as well. their motivation is not particularly because they don't want others to follow in their footsteps (cos they might not have been through those difficult times), neither was it particularly because oh they're my friends i'm happy to help them. it's more of an ego issue, where they think highly of themselves, and by helping people it shows not only to themselves, but to others, of their... erms... ability. such people can sometimes become overly zealous in their effort to provide help to others.

frankly speaking, i feel a little bad to be taking apart one's motives for providing help. i mean, it can be so innocent, just like for example, when someone let's a pregnant lady take his/her seat on the train. but, what is the motive behind one's act of giving help? out of the "pure goodness" of his heart? because he doesn't want the pregnant lady to suffer from the pain and discomfort? because the government says so? because the sign on the mrt says so? because he doesn't like the squeezy seat? because he doesn't like the weird fat lady on his left that kept looking at him? because he wants to show his friends who are with him on the train how gentlemanly and how kind he is? because he wants to show off how he is better and more observant than those that are around him?

haha such a simple incident can be complicated into such intensity. i'm not saying that any motive of these is bad or anything, i mean ultimately all these motives whichever it may be, gave rise to the act of him giving up the seat for the pregnant lady. the pregnant lady is very likely to feel gratitude towards the one who gave up his seat, which is a good thing, because it relieved the pregnant lady of her discomfort.

i guess that is just some food for thought.

why do you help others around you?

perhaps it's time to think about your motivation behind your act of graciousness.

however, to tell the truth, despite the wonderful argument i have put up above, i personally hate people who help others based on his or her own personal needs, not because he or her put others' pain into consideration before helping. that is. if i manage to perceive his/her true intentions.

with that said, i wonder if i'm being hypocritical. the line between putting others feelings into consideration and one's personal needs can be so thin that it is non-existent at times.

then again, when you read the title of my post, what did you think this post was going to be about? about me asking for help? or about me discussing the act of helping?

ok, let me clarify. i personally do not like to ask for help actually. but i still will ask if i really meet with difficulties. call it my stubbornness haha.

"helping (people)" sound like such an angelic act. that's because the party subjected to help is greatly benefited. this can be a good or bad thing. when the receiving end starts to abuse the help received, the giving end could be the one in distress instead.

then when and why should one help?

that's.... something that i'm still trying to learn. :D

opps i think i'm going to get slapped by others for such a lousy post ending. ahahaha~

okok let me elaborate then. well, i have my fair share of the help i gave being abused. however, after much thought, though one might become used by others if he/she is too helpful, this does not mean everyone out there are ungrateful b*****ds. opps. but i guess before choosing (ok i'm sorry to those pure and gracious souls out there who don't choose the receiving end of their help) the person you want to help, you must look at the receiver's personality and deduce whether u'll be made use of in the future if u're going to be helpful. of course if you know that guy is mostly going to be ungrateful, you would most likely not offer him that much help to the extent of him having the idea of making use of you. but there are still exceptions to this... principle. like for eg. a parent helping his/her ungrateful children. *suffers an arrow hit*

so the moral of this post is: be nice, help others out based on the empathy and pure goodness of your soul. but look before you help.

erms. sorry for sounding so skeptical. this sorry coming from me is sincere. you have my word.