it's been a really really long time since i last blogged...
and seriously, i have no idea wad i wanna blog today as well...
just feeling... restless... maybe cos i dun really know wad i wanna do now? despite having so many things weighing on me like my 2 quizzes next week and my piling amount of lagging schoolwork, and not to mention my job-search and possible phd professor search... there's just so many things out there for me to do! but maybe it's cos i know there's so much to do to the point i'm confused between my priorities? that's y i juz wanna procrastinate even for just one more day? haha~
i haven't been really talking about those erms... "cheem" things or thoughts that i have these days... i do think about them actually, just that i probably seldom place them on my blog these days... and now i do have a regular outlet for me to "vent" my frustrations to... *opps sorry to the unfortunate being... haha!* so yups, there's probably less motivation for me to blog. but in my recent japanese class i did discuss this topic with my group... so this kinda sprung the idea that i should probably come back to my blog once in a while... =Pp afterall, i haven't blogged in a month! my goodness!
i guess i'm standing at the crossroads again... unsure of where to go next. should i take a phd and continue down the path of a researcher? or should i try to pursue my interests and work in a job with relatively lower pay? do i need the money as badly as i sound? well, having more money surely wouldn't hurt. and i might be even able to help support my family n stuff... help my dad retire earlier or something... =X i dunno... but definitely having more money is good. but is research definitely the thing for me? would i be able to persist in research work? on the other hand, i'm looking at game programmer jobs which is definitely my passion (i think haha!) but i may or may not get it, and the starting pay would definitely be lower than that of a researcher... =X
my parents advise me to spread my options out... but seriously, i feel it's stressing me... cos i have to put in double the effort others put in for their future path. well, i guess i'm always like that. somehow i have the "disturbing" habit of putting myself at disadvantage, and having to work twice the amount of others bahs... like for japanese class i think i'm doing double the learning as compared to my classmates (i'm not sure of that actually, cos i think some are taking external courses out of school) but some don't seem to even bother with their school work. and then in previous semesters i study and teach tuition at the same time n stuff, having less time on my hands to study play n rest. but it's this stressful life that makes me feel fulfilling. and maybe even happy. lolx~ maybe i'm just a weirdo~~
anyways, i'm feeling really giddy now all of a sudden, maybe it's time to call it a day... =X
No comments:
Post a Comment