it's been a long time since i last posted... felt like eternity... oh well i was "busy" with exams (it ended on 25 nov with my corpse in the coffin, but oh well due to some strange reason i'm sitting in front of my lappie now... probably cos i died twice already - once during materials science exam on 20th, the other was the econs paper on 25th itself)

been reading books non stop, reading manga, watching tv, rotting, out shopping with my sis for her prom stuff... it's only been 4 days and i'm bored. pansy told me she's now working in an office now and i'm quite lazy to go find myself a job... afterall i don't know who would employ a part timer for only 1 month to help out with filing... unless i go into sales (but then again... my poor poor legs) sighz~ i know i shouldn't be so picky about jobs... i'm juz a lazy bum who thinks she isn't fit for work. *slap slap slap*

i guess some things just wouldn't change.

time passes really quickly... almost a year gone... i think back upon the things that happened almost one year ago... it felt so far... so distant... when i think back upon it i felt happy... blissful... but now back to reality. *ooo... the thunder just roared outside my house... apparently the thunder god agrees with me* the truth is never beautiful. u have to move on with life and stop thinking about the past. no one cares actually. they say that they'll remember about the things in the past... all the happy things... and when things turn out bad, they'll shut themselves up and forget about everything. things move on. sooner or later when u ask them about it again they might even not recall at all. it would be like something foreign to them.

people only remember the things they wanna remember. that's human nature.

okies back to what i had been doing... i've re-read n rewatched howl's moving castle quite a few times by now and i muz say... the story is just so captivating, be it the movie version or the original story... (i know it's children's books... so?) and now i'm reading chronicles of narnia cos i don't wanna be embarrassed when i discuss this book with my tutee after she finishes reading the book i'm going to lend her (the lion, the witch and the wardrobe) and ask her to do a book review... lolz~ i'm juz trying to be slack... not to teach her so much new stuff, but to let her read more books and to discuss about the books... last sun i got her to write an english compo entitled "the day a fairy came knocking on my door"... her story was... (in my opinion... geez i hope she doesn't blog surf and see my blog) quite humourous... childish i would say... and to a certain extent... taking into account that she's a sec1 student going to be sec 2.... maybe... she read too many romance novels... lolz~

since i've got the time... i hope she doesn't mind if i post her story online, after my editing of grammer errors, that is...

The Day a Fairy Came Knocking on my Door

It was a warm Saturday afternoon when I had just finished bathing. I sat down at my desk and started on my homework when I heard someone knocking on the door. My parents were not in, so I went to answer it. I saw a lady in pink with furry wings and holding a wand. She spoke the moment i opened the door in a hurried manner, "Hi! I am the fairy of the palace and I need your help. Can you please come with me to the palace and I will tell you more details." I hesitated for a moment and thought whether I should go with her or not. In the end, I decided that I should go with her because she needed my help and I should assist her.

We walked for a very long journey and finally reached the palace. The palace was huge and beautiful. It was pink and had many small windows. As we entered the palace, I found out that the entrance to the palace was a big archway without a door. We went inside and it was full of guards. We ventured further until we reached the hall. The King and Queen were sitting inside and I saw a boy sitting beside them. He was very charming and was wearing a small crown. Then i realised that he was the prince. I kept staring at him and wanted to marry him. The King saw that and said, "If you can fulfil my request, I will let him marry you." I agreed and he continued, "The palace is going to be demolished by the King of the humans. You have to stop him from doing this." I understood how they felt when their own palace was going to be gone and agreed to their request. I went to find the King of the humans. As it was far away from here, I took a day to reach there. I walked and walked and saw that the sky was getting darker. I decided to sleep in the forests.

The next afternoon, I reached my destination. I told the King what I wanted to do. I pleaded him not to demolish the palace as the faries had no place to go after that. He finaly agreed and I went back to the palace of the faries.

The faries and King heard that and thanked me profusely for helping them. They fulfilled their promise and I was to be married to the prince. I went home and told this happy news to my parents.

erms... this was a highly edited version of the original story. the grammer was... -_- and it's amazing how young girls these days are so... proactive and want to marry someone by first sight... and a prince somemore! of faries! wow... i guess that's wad they meant by pple maturing so much earlier these days... she's only sec 1!!! when i was her age i wouldn't have thought of this kind of things... -_- oh well...

and yes... my typing skills have greatly deproved... *bursts into tears* i shall type more these days i guess... maybe type out the whole of howl's moving castle novel into my comp or something... -_-'''

it's still raining out there... i guess the rain wouldn't stop afterall... it will continue to fall... until one day probably when everything dries up then it shall cease...

these days as i blog-surf ard pple who are same age as me, all girls, who just left jc last year and now struggling with uni life... i see entries talking about how much they missed their respective jc lives... talking about the good old times where they had... wishing they could turn back time...

as i read about these... some which are shared experiences... these left a smile on my face... but.

i realise i don't feel the same way as they do.

probably because there's nothing much for me to remember from the good old jc days. i admit they were fun... full of tears joy laughter. there were days of sunshine and storms. but perhaps it was due to those storms we no longer remember those bright shiny days?

or perhaps i'm the only one who became immune to all these kind of nostalgic feelings.

i know that we cannot turn back time. there's no turning back at all. there's no point in looking back, wishing that ur life was like before, wishing that things didn't have to change. because in the end u still have to face the cold hard reality that the past was gone forever. some argue that we always will have those memories hidden in the depths of our heart. ah, yes, good for u. perhaps mine is hidden so deep until i cannot see sense or feel it anymore, no more feelings of joy or hurt.

perhaps it's better this way.

i'm fine and happy with my current life. i know my family loves me and for the first time in my life, my relationship with my family members are starting to get better... i've also got a bunch of true friends whom i know will be there for me when i need them. *okies this sounds selfish lolz* perhaps it is because i don't see a point in trying to revert to the past, because i'm content with what i have now, that's y i don't seek to look back and think of the old days.

i'm sure those peeps whom i've browsed through their blogs have friends who care for them. don't dwell so much on the past. learn to move on, and pple around you will help u along.
perhaps this is the reason y i hate myself for being so indifferent to things.

it's better to simply ignore what your heart truly desire.

it would probably be better if i didn't make myself remember.

it's easier if i didn't dream last night.

it would be better if i didn't know you.

12:14 in the morning *according to my comp's clock* and i'm still online procrastinating about studying for life science exam in another 24+9.5 hours time... when i'm not even through my 4th lecture out of total of 12 lectures for the entire exam. tell me wad the heck am i doing in this world.

i'm tired frustrated totally siandeds with no sense of goal purpose. i juz had a nap before dinner n i felt refreshed after it, but after an hour i'm back to the sleepy drowsy me. anime no longer work wonders...

listening to songs, drifting aimlessly while my fellow tutorial mates have probably finished studying all the chapters. what the shit am i doing here.

yar i'm procrastinating. y do i have to take life science... -_-'''

i swear i'm going to burn these notes after the exam. -_-

life science simply sux. stop forcing engine pple from taking it when it's not absolutely necessary. make it an option or something. or someting recreational. life science is fun to study but not fun to learn for exam when students have absolutely no idea what u're asking about and when u ask the most redundant things. like who came up with the lock and key hypothesis. or how clicking a button at the genetic database thingy will lead u to which other database. or what "transcription" means in latin. like we're really going to need to use or know it. even if some of us do, that would be the minority.

absolute crap. kindly ignore me. -_-