Again and again, I'm back at the same question I started out with a few months ago.

I don't know why I felt so terrible trying to tell you my most inner thoughts.
So much that I can't help but to start tearing.
I know it's me. It's not your fault.
The things I said I thought I was going to hurt you.
But you brushed them off as though they're nothing.
Were you really as strong as you seem?

I feel like a lost child
Wandering through darkness
Crying while searching
for that single eternity.
What exactly is that?
True love? Or...?

Between love and career
which would you choose?
I've made a silly mistake 4 years ago.
I'm not going to make the same one again.
The situation this time is so much different.
Even if I knew it would be worth it this time
Would I take the same steps I took before?
I'm sorry I can't trust you 100%
I guess there's no way I could do that
Especially after all those things I had encountered.
I know you think there's no right or wrong
But I want to let you know
It always pained me whenever you're upset.











Sometimes When We Touch

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides













Myself

どうしてどうして　好きなんだろう
こんなに　涙　溢れてる

あの頃は　失うものが多すぎて　何も歌えなかった
少し離れた場所　そこが私の　居場所だった

君の瞳の奥に　あの日　さみしさを見つけた
二人似てるのかな？
気付けばいつも　隣にいてくれた

どうしてこんなに　好きなんだろう
君の声　悲しいほど　響いてるヨ
いままで何が　支えだったか
遠く離れて　わかったよ

泣きながら　捜し続けた　迷子の　子供のように
けどそこには　永遠なんて　あるわけなくて

「誰も信じなければ　いいんだよ」　唾やいたね
二人似てたのかな？
あの時君を　守ると決めたのに

どうして思い出に　できないんだろう
遠すぎて　近すぎて　届かないよ
「忘れよう」って　思えば思うほど
君が大きく　なってくよ

どうしてこんなに　好きなんだろう
君の声　悲しいほど　響いてるヨ
いままで何が　支えだったか
遠く離れて　わかったよ

どうして　君を　好きになったんだろう
簡単すぎて答えにならない













Why, oh why do I love you so much?
My tears overflow this much

Back in that time, there was so much to lose that I couldn't sing anything
The place you had left for a while--That was where I was

That day, deep in your eyes, I saw the loneliness
Are the two of us really alike?
If I'd realized it, you were always by my side

Why do I love you so much?
Your voice rings inside me so much it makes me sad
Just what it was that supported me so much
From afar, I realize it now

Like a lost child, crying and searching
But there was no such thing as forever

"It's okay if you don't believe in anyone" you whispered
Were the two of us really alike?
And I decided then I would protect you

Why can't I turn them to memories
You're too far, too near for me to reach
The more I tell myself "I will forget"
The larger you loom in my thoughts

Why do I love you so much?
Your voice rings (inside me) so much it makes me sad
Just what it was that supported me so much
I realize it now from afar

Why do I love you so much?
It's so easy I just can't answer

i guess i haven't cried in such a long time. ^^
nothing really moves me these days.
but going back to watch something that has once touched me...
i guess it certainly brings back memories.
in fact it made new memories.













私は今まで走っているんだ
何のために？

自分が分かった
大事な物を忘れてしまった
どうやってそのことを思い出すればいいでしょ？

それを見ると、覚えた。
その一所懸命な自分の意志
もう無くしまった。
何のようにがんばるとか、
その必要があるなのか？
今はどんどん分からなくてなってきた。

For those that didn't understand,

All the while I've been running,
What for?

I knew.
I have forgotten the thing that's important to me.
What could I do to remember that?

After watching that, I knew.
That unwavering will I had
was already lost.
For what purpose,
is there any need for it?
All these while I have gradually become unable to understand that.

最初その曲は悲しい気持ばかりだと思った。
でも、もう一度聞くと、人に暖かい感じすることもできる。
それはほんとうにびっくりした。
でも、うれしいだ。

Initially I thought that song can only convey sad feelings.
But, after hearing it one more time, it could also convey warmth to others.
I was alarmed.
But that made me happy.

Eternal Snow

君を好きになって　どれくらい経つのかナ？
気持ち　膨らんでゆくばかりで
君は　この思い気付いているのかナ？
一度も言葉には　してないけど

雪のように　ただ静かに
降り積もり　つづけてゆく

Hold me tight　こんな思いなら
誰かを好きになる気持ち
知りたく　なかったよ
I love you　涙止まらない
こんなんじゃ　君のこと
知らずにいれば　良かったよ

君をいつまで　思っているのかナ？
ため息が窓ガラス　曇らせた

揺れる心　灯すキャンドルで
今　溶かして　ゆけないかナ？

Hold me tight　折れるほど強く
木枯らし　吹雪に出会っても
寒くないようにと
I miss you　君を思うたび
編みかけの　このマフラー
今夜も一人　抱きしめるよ

永遠に降る雪があるなら
君へと続くこの思い　隠せるのかナ？

Hold me tight　こんな思いなら
誰かを好きになる気持ち
知りたく　なかったよ
I love you　胸に込み上げる
冬空に叫びたい
今すぐ君に　会いたいよ





Here's the translation (again! haha)

I fell in love with you
Just how long has it been since then?

My feelings have only been getting stronger.
I wonder have you realized..how I feel..

Even though I never said a word.
It is like a snowflake drifting gently, continuing to pile up...higher and higher.

Hold me tight if this is how it feels...
The feeling of falling in love with someone.
I never want to know that feeling.

I love you, I can't stop my tears from falling.
In that case then you should have never have come into my life.

I wonder how long will I keep thinking about you?
My breath is fogging up the glass window.

My trembling heart...is next to the lit candle...
and melting now... I wonder... will it survive?

Hold me tight, so tight that I might break.
So when we meet in the frigid gate of a blizzard..it won't be cold anymore..

I miss you..I think of you..so far away
With this hand-knit muffler...
I'm here alone..holding myself again tonight...

If the snow keeps on falling forever...will it cover my feeling for you?

Hold me tight if this is how it feels...
The feeling of falling in love with someone.
I never wanted to know that feeling.

I love you, It's filling up in my heart..
I want to shout to the winter sky..
I want to meet you right now...

Hold Me Tight...

I Love You....

it's been a really really long time since i last blogged...

and seriously, i have no idea wad i wanna blog today as well...

just feeling... restless... maybe cos i dun really know wad i wanna do now? despite having so many things weighing on me like my 2 quizzes next week and my piling amount of lagging schoolwork, and not to mention my job-search and possible phd professor search... there's just so many things out there for me to do! but maybe it's cos i know there's so much to do to the point i'm confused between my priorities? that's y i juz wanna procrastinate even for just one more day? haha~

i haven't been really talking about those erms... "cheem" things or thoughts that i have these days... i do think about them actually, just that i probably seldom place them on my blog these days... and now i do have a regular outlet for me to "vent" my frustrations to... *opps sorry to the unfortunate being... haha!* so yups, there's probably less motivation for me to blog. but in my recent japanese class i did discuss this topic with my group... so this kinda sprung the idea that i should probably come back to my blog once in a while... =Pp afterall, i haven't blogged in a month! my goodness!

i guess i'm standing at the crossroads again... unsure of where to go next. should i take a phd and continue down the path of a researcher? or should i try to pursue my interests and work in a job with relatively lower pay? do i need the money as badly as i sound? well, having more money surely wouldn't hurt. and i might be even able to help support my family n stuff... help my dad retire earlier or something... =X i dunno... but definitely having more money is good. but is research definitely the thing for me? would i be able to persist in research work? on the other hand, i'm looking at game programmer jobs which is definitely my passion (i think haha!) but i may or may not get it, and the starting pay would definitely be lower than that of a researcher... =X

my parents advise me to spread my options out... but seriously, i feel it's stressing me... cos i have to put in double the effort others put in for their future path. well, i guess i'm always like that. somehow i have the "disturbing" habit of putting myself at disadvantage, and having to work twice the amount of others bahs... like for japanese class i think i'm doing double the learning as compared to my classmates (i'm not sure of that actually, cos i think some are taking external courses out of school) but some don't seem to even bother with their school work. and then in previous semesters i study and teach tuition at the same time n stuff, having less time on my hands to study play n rest. but it's this stressful life that makes me feel fulfilling. and maybe even happy. lolx~ maybe i'm just a weirdo~~

anyways, i'm feeling really giddy now all of a sudden, maybe it's time to call it a day... =X

just started watching 絶対彼氏 and it's so addictive and shiok... ^^ although the mtv is nothing much, but the actual song makes me feel pretty relaxed and i love it =) here's the lyrics of the ending song by ayaka... enjoy~~

おかえり
絢香

おかえり　sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう

まだ平気なフリをして
悲しみの色を塗りつぶして
笑ってしまうんです
信じることの大切さ　わかってるのに
いざという時　疑ってしまうんです

空っぽの体　流れる時に　
浮いてしまいそうになるけど
あなたのこと　抱きしめたい
このキモチが突きをかすの

おかえり I'm home
一言で　満たされる心
おかえり　sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう sweet home

自分のことばかりを考える
大人はずるいんだと思っていたんです
でも必死で帰ることを 叫んでる人
もいるんだと やっと知ったんです

当たり 前の 幸せなんか　
この世界に一つもない
あなたのため　そう思えた
このキモチが突きをかすの

おかえり　I'm home
スピードが加速してく毎日
おかえり sweet home
変わらない　ずっとある景色 sweet home

探して　なくした　
心の傷が　立ち向かう強さに変われたのは
｢おかえり｣があったから

おかえり　I'm home
一言で　満たされる心
おかえり sweet home
帰る場所　愛をありがとう

おかえり　I'm home
大丈夫　あなたがいるから
おかえり sweet home
待っててね　もうすぐ着くから sweet home

i guess... it's just human nature to rebel...

我想我大概明白为什么那么喜欢你。
并不是因为你是那么的与众不同。
你。。。那么脚踏实地，那么体贴
的确，或许就像你所说的，
这大概就是你所追求的
《完美关系》。。。

每一对男女，从普通朋友成为好朋友，升级为情侣再步入礼堂，大多数都会在感情不同阶段里发现彼此未所看到的一面。有些人无法接受并承认所揭开的那一面，认为是对方变了，但事实就是这样吗？还是那只是因为彼此还不够了解彼此呢？

你说，如果因为发现对方比自己想象的人不一样而分手、离婚，难怪世上有那么多情侣分手、那么多夫妇搞离婚。

对，我完全同意。

我想，如果想真正长久下去，一对男女就需要懂得彼此包容。你说看到彼此未发现的一面，这就是人生。人又为何要违反人生的规律呢？

所以，我不会再害怕了。
因为我就是我。
谢谢你让我发现这一点。

mixed feelings.

i shouldn't have dropped by, i suppose. and i don't think u'll even care.

despite having left for such a long time, i guess that feeling never fades away.
feeling of hatred?
of disgust?
at the lies? or hypocrisy?

i don't know anymore.
i don't wanna care about it anymore.
did you even feel guilty in the first place?
that thought of it made me feel like laughing.
well i guess you weren't even refering to me in the first place since i'm so insignificant in your life.
the most important thing is... i am happy now. that's all that i need to know and feel right now.



i guess this is just one of those blue blue days...













on a side note, please please! let me focus and do well for this upcoming exams. i really need all the best possible grades i can get... =X *prays hard*

每个人不论在什么时候，都只能做一件事。说什么女人比较能够multi-task，那都是骗人的。只不过女人比较能够分配时间吧，在同个期间的不同时候做不同的事情。就像电脑一样，看起来好像是可以同时进行很多不同事项，但其实电脑只是把时间分割得非常细腻，在不同时段执行不同事项。所以总的来说，如果想要在一个期间内执行许多事项，就必须懂得好好分配时间。世界上没有人能够同时做那么多事，所以我也不应该逼自己在短时间内赶那么多作业之类的东西。凡是一步一步来，别想一步登天！

所以，不要对自己做那么不合理的要求，凡是尽自己的能力去做吧！不要让自己感到压力，这样只会减低工作效率。

庆瑜，加油！

wake me up when September ends...
wait! it's over already????!













at this point in time... i just want to scream

RRRRAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

i insist!
我不是草莓族！

i finally know wad went wrong with me the entire week...

i lost my focus. i got really forgetful these days, probably due to stress, and i have a really hard time trying to focus on my work too. rest is no longer restful enough, more than 8 hours of sleep is still insufficient. and work just keep piling up.

this is year 4 life...

i guess i need to learn how to focus while being immersed in stress. and how to organize and plan well in such an environment. =)

i wanna thank everyone who bear with me the entire week... be it my hrm team mates (for my lack of direction at meetings) and my dear for bearing with my little tantrums =)

a few more days and i'm a year older! =))













here's a song i really like... it has a nice tune and it's by S.H.E!!! yay!!!

612 星球
歌手：S.H.E

满园玫瑰 我以为 找到我那一朵
认真爱了 却狠狠 刺伤我的双手
责备什么人也没有用
玫瑰都红 难免看错

望着天空 爱是否 活在童话里头
小王子说 有些事 流浪过才会懂
原来每颗心都有个洞
找不到真爱 会一直寂寞 oh~

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我忍着痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦

一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快 请你等等我

擦干眼泪 一个人 漂流在这宇宙
小王子说 爱一定 开在某个角落
路上相爱的人那么多
我会幸福吗 在什么时候 oh~

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我忍着痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦

一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快 请你等等我

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我忍着痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦

一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快 请你等等我

you mentioned that you felt weird.
to tell the truth i felt weird too.
maybe i didn't know what i truly wanted.
i don't know whether you felt the same way.
what does it mean to be together?
could it be our expectations were too different?
i don't know... haha.
i suppose it is?

i must admit my actions these days might just be a reflection of how i am actually confused with what i want.
i want personal time, but i want time off with you too.
i want someone by my side when i need him...
i guess you wanted that person too.
but am i beside you when you needed me?
this i don't know...

i wonder if this is how you feel too...

wow, it's been a long time since i blogged about song lyrics...

can't wait for S.H.E's new album!!! XD










沿海公路的出口
歌手：S.H.E. 作词:黄建洲

用一盒火柴烧一场蜃楼　
藉这场大雨让自己逃走
慌茫公路无人的漂泊　
寂寞海啸 把我卷走

用一段感情换一个朋友　
每一句再见割一道伤口
躺在万劫不复的街头　
微笑参透 覆水难收

倘若说放一次手　就像咳一个咳嗽
我又何苦在乎得不到的温柔

我坐在公路的出口　
等待天黑以后 无边的寂寞
连想你都是种残酷切磋

我目送沿海的日落　
紧抱一个醉生 梦死的枕头
留不住回忆却学不会放手 怎么走

i'm sorry i lied.
i lied i had runny nose. but...
i guess you were right.



what's love?
does my actions reflect my true feelings?
how do i truly feel?



you were always the one who knew how i truly felt.

was it the same the other way round?

i felt i wasn't up to your expectations.

i'm starting to wonder and doubt myself.
like whether i'm a good gf in the first place.
saying sorry doesn't help.

actions speak more than words.
what can i do to seek your forgiveness?


maybe i shouldn't be forgiven...













please. be strong.

haha i just saw hwui zhi's comment on my tagboard... well i haven't really been blogging cos i'm pretty tied down to school work, relationship n the ps2 i just borrowed from yuchun for 2 years... haha! not exactly the best combi i must say, almost every day leaves me drained of my energy. but oh well, i'm learning something new everyday... =) though there's always this little wish that everyday is not just 24hrs but 48 hours... meaning more time for rest each day... ha!

so yups, a short post to start the day! somehow i forgot wad i had wanted to blog about initially... haha! alamak i must be getting really old... 3 second fish memory =X

though it's been such a long time... i'm disgusted at how bo sim you still are.
yah it's true u're probably lazy...
but telling lies to cover up your laziness is just so irritatingly annoying.
but i'm glad this happened, it made me appreciate what i have in front of me more... =))
i guess someone people just never change.

Thanks for the wonderful day... ^^

Sorry for not getting something for u... =X

But i still hope you enjoyed our special day =)) irirlu~

so many thoughts after my first hrm tutorial.

hrm was shit... i mean... hrm IS shit. what is hrm? hrm = human resource management. it is the field of study that focuses on the applications of Organizational Behaviour (OB) theories and principles in organizations. omfg i remembered that straight off the textbook. that's the power of MH.

(those who ask what/who is MH? all i can tell u is that you can take it as Morning Horizon. or even My Happiness. wth. >.<)

but the approach MH takes (though pretty unique... that's a nice way of putting it... eccentric maybe? that's still a pretty nice way of putting it still.. ha!) does invoke loads of thinking on my part. which was wad MH wanted to achieve... MH wanted us to abandon all our assumptions and learn to question. i was not inquisitive enough. this brings to mind (let's forget about the business market... ahh business environment is the outside environment, including customers, competitors, suppliers and distributors, which all impact on organizational detail... vomit from textbook again) how i'm always stuck in conversations and find conversing with strangers tiring. MH brought up how upon seeing someone for the first time MH would have 20 questions for that person. starting from probably "what's your name?" it branches out to 5 more questions. wad about me? if i ever squeeze out a question to try to strike conversation with a total stranger i'll be stuck after that. which was why i felt conversations were so tiring, i simply lack the inquisitive nature which i feel everybody has when they came to the world, but due to the circumstances we went through that nature was almost completely buried. so now the question is... how do we bring back that nature to us?

for a moment a funny thought came to mind... go onto the mrt and observe people... and formulate the possible questions you can think off just by looking at one of the strangers on mrts...

(and i feel it's absolutely interesting to just observe people on public transport like mrt and buses... there's so many things that u can see! like the way people dress... or the way they sit... and observe how people talk to each other... so interesting! hees)






and then, for this project i had, i was sort of involuntarily the leader of the group (i was the first name in the group haha) it felt totally weird and uneasy on my part, since from young i was sort of labeled having no leadership qualities... or so i thought. come on, i'm not someone who likes to explain every single action i do to others, i expect others to just follow me (and i lead by example) and i'm an introvert. i like to keep things to myself. all these are a no-no for leaders isn't it. but a part in me wants to be a leader. i don't like to follow orders or confinements. i have this desire to break these barriers. one of the ways i do so is with my dressing. haha this brings to mind... today i purposely chose to wear a rather bright red shirt matched with black cardigan and skirt when i knew everybody else would be wearing light colours like white or light blue or something. i just wanted to be different, to look brighter when i do my presentation, i don't want to be similar to others. i want to show i have an identity. so maybe that's why i don't want to simply be a follower. i want to be somebody different... (a leader in this sense? i dunno)

but look at me! during team discussions i choose to step aside and listen to what others have to say (and in the process i get lost in their conversations... it's so tiring to pay attention to wad others have to say sometimes) i choose to become the so called 便利贴女孩 that doesn't like to be different or doesn't express her opinion but choose to follow. what happened to the part of me that wants to be different?

because my ideas had been rejected previously? because i am afraid of giving wrong answer or wrong opinions? all these no! it was simply because i lacked initiative to even open my mouth. being different doesn't necessarily mean being difficult. i am afraid of bringing trouble to others. (or so i claim hahahaha) but by disputing other people's opinion or to question their ideas is to a certain extent bringing trouble to them since they have to think more thoroughly about their ideas. but so? is that wrong? they'll hate me for that? (some may... sadly... haha) i dunno...

or maybe it was my low self esteem playing in the shadows... i don't really want others to dislike me probably...

and so i question myself. do i really lack leadership qualities just like the way those people who "labeled "me had said? i admit i'm more of an introvert... but not by nature. this i am very clear. though a really long deal of shit i would say... i became an introvert. i want this to change. i want to be able to talk to others and not feel tiring. i wish i can be a little more open about my thoughts to people i'm not so close to. of course there's the issue of trust again, i don't want to really dive into that right now... but yeaps. ultimately i still wish to change for the better.

but even if someone is an extrovert or he/she opens her thoughts to public, it doesn't necessarily mean he/she has leadership qualities isn't it? and there's the other idea of taking charge. personally i don't really like to take charge since i'm someone who hates being bossed around. so i assume others don't like to have authority pressing down on them... but maybe this perception of mine needs change. a leader doesn't have to keep chasing down his/her subordinates' neck. a leader need not rule with an iron hand either. taking charge can mean establish contact with those under him/her, just to let them know u're the man/woman out there. (lolx notice how i keep saying him/her... i'm a feminist k!)

and this kind of initiative, i used to have that. but ever since some things that happened i learnt to hide that part of me too. why choose to bury it? haha... i remember i used to get praises from my sec school teacher for my overwhelming enthusiasm to help teachers set up ohps n stuff... (all the tiny gritty stuff)... and now i understand why they praised me and hoped i'll continue to have such initiative... society needs this kind of people. but i had let them down... why did i choose to let this part of me die when things happen? i feel i have just backtracked another aspect of me...

all in all, i feel like i've been walking in the wrong direction all these while. when people discouraged me with their actions of not recognising me (well it's not their fault anyways) or even appreciating the effort and things i did for them, i choose to let the good aspects of me die out and i became opposite of the "better person" i actually was! wth was i thinking man! it just takes a wrong turn at a point in my thinking and all the good aspects of me went into the grave. ok enough. it's time to stop thinking and put my thoughts into action...

i remember wad 赵老师 used to tell me... 不要怕吃亏。 well of course the 吃亏 dun refer to let guys eat ur toufu (omg wth am i thinking man) but rather... dun be so calculative on the gains and losses... when others come to u for help, just help. sometimes don't be so calculative about taking the extra effort when others would probably take them for granted... oh well... now i guess i better understand what she was trying to say...

all i can say at this point in time is... i still don't know if i have the courage to follow this above statement now...

well, i'm not exactly someone without any leadership qualities at all... to look on the brighter side hees! i'm someone who's self reflective... a little too self reflective sometimes? (like wad yc implies... i might get lost while exploring within myself... hey i'm someone with no sense of direction mahs!! haha kiddings~) so yeaps, while i have to be harsh on myself and have high expectations of myself to propel myself forward, i shall always remember that i'm not totally that bad off... no matter how jialat things are, there will always be some redeeming point somewhere out there waiting to be discovered...

so yups, ok lah (though a little bit reluctant) THANKEW MH. you opened a few doors for me to explore more within myself... and i learnt a lil more myself today... thanks for offering one of the really few unique courses we ever took in uni man... but this brings me to have a desire to ask MH several questions... this include... why did MH choose to carry out his course this way? was it so that he could fulfill the marketing strategy our school tries to sell its courses to the potential uni students? and also why did he choose to leave his previous job and come to teach students instead? is the pay offered to him by the uni much much higher? hees~

alrighty. enough about hrm. blehs.

today was the first time in a few days i actually got to spend a little more time with you... i'm really happy for that =)) although i'm greedy (haha aren't all humans greedy? =Pp) but i understand how u're suffering now, so i wouldn't make my selfish requests... abit paiseh to bother u n ur family at such a short notice... but it was inevitable since i decided i wanted to be selfish... =X i hope ur mum didn't think i was some spoilt brat just go ur house to 骗吃骗喝！haha~

i'm glad u went to see doctor again today... cos the med u took today made u seem much better. well i shall try to curb my desires until u fully recover... ^^ haha erms... is this ****?

i'm really tired today after all the hrm mess... the moment i reached home i actually had the "crazy" idea that i wanted to start doing work immediately after i bathed... like doing some fyp research, or hrm research for fri's meeting, or even my database systems tutorial... eeks. but since it's 11.36pm now (oh i typed too long a blog entry haha) i guess i shall tuck myself in bed with my psp n my dear pooh... ^^

pls... get well soon. *prays hard*

i don't like the feeling of being helpless towards the pain and suffering you have to deal with alone... =((

and... hrm sux! rawrs!

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