everybody is for themselves.
yeah... thanks for reminding me... ^^
27 May 2008
24 May 2008
i tried to go back to the cheerful and more helpful me.
i guess this just makes others more suspicious of my "motives".
if i were them i'll probably do that too.
so maybe it's better to stay cold and frozen in my own world.
joanne's going back to sg tomorrow (more accurately, it's today since it's past midnight)... a little envious of her though i could tell she doesn't really want to go back so early... i wonder if we'll remember each other after gip... but... like wad elton says, friendship's over after gip... although i dun want to think of it this way... but then again...
it's really strange. somehow there's this nudging feeling that i don't want to stay close to some of the people i know that i'm pretty close to at the moment, as though i wish the friendship contract would expire the moment gip ends...
nonononono! i dun wan things to go this way... one voice in my head tells me that, but then the darker side of me tells me otherwise...
should i shift my blog? haha i've asked myself this question upteenth times le bah! a while ago i was like scrutinizing some of my other friends who changed their blog address and i wasn't aware... i was like... why change blog address! to avoid other pple u dun wan to see? funny now i feel like doing this too... maybe i dun like the way others can see my thoughts so clearly bahs...
i think i'm a very simple and easy-to-figure-out person... (though there are people who somehow cannot tell what i'm exactly thinking... leaving me puzzled as to why haha!) so.. maybe it's safer to keep a distance to others bah...
i guess this just makes others more suspicious of my "motives".
if i were them i'll probably do that too.
so maybe it's better to stay cold and frozen in my own world.
joanne's going back to sg tomorrow (more accurately, it's today since it's past midnight)... a little envious of her though i could tell she doesn't really want to go back so early... i wonder if we'll remember each other after gip... but... like wad elton says, friendship's over after gip... although i dun want to think of it this way... but then again...
it's really strange. somehow there's this nudging feeling that i don't want to stay close to some of the people i know that i'm pretty close to at the moment, as though i wish the friendship contract would expire the moment gip ends...
nonononono! i dun wan things to go this way... one voice in my head tells me that, but then the darker side of me tells me otherwise...
should i shift my blog? haha i've asked myself this question upteenth times le bah! a while ago i was like scrutinizing some of my other friends who changed their blog address and i wasn't aware... i was like... why change blog address! to avoid other pple u dun wan to see? funny now i feel like doing this too... maybe i dun like the way others can see my thoughts so clearly bahs...
i think i'm a very simple and easy-to-figure-out person... (though there are people who somehow cannot tell what i'm exactly thinking... leaving me puzzled as to why haha!) so.. maybe it's safer to keep a distance to others bah...
so tireds...
played bball with my schoolmates in school today... saw two of them who played bball like 2 people who were rather important to me in the past. feelings of guilt swept past me as i recall about the things i've been through with them and yet i couldn't and cannot stay close to them now...
one of them... was my ex. strangely, my company mate plays in a style so similar to him that it's so unbelievable... haha~ i revisited my memories of my ex... but it stays there. it has to. no point dwelling over something that's over for so long... but still, a certain wave of sadness kind of overwhelmed me as i watched my companymate play...
the other... was a friend i turned my back on due to stupid reasons... the guy that i knew here in shanghai has the same initial as my friend, they have almost the same build, similar hairstyle, and they play bball in similar fashion! lol~ but then i felt guilty... over the stupid things i did in the past to my friend which made him so hurt... and i wasn't a good friend and i wasn't there for him when he needed me... now that he's out of the shit i left him in, it's practically impossible to go back to the way things were before... not that i'm upset or i really really want to go back to the things that it was previously, it's more like... a pity that things turned out this way...
alright! let's leave our sorrow and sadness here. stop thinking back about things u dun have control over! start thinking about what you can do to salvage/make things better!
played bball with my schoolmates in school today... saw two of them who played bball like 2 people who were rather important to me in the past. feelings of guilt swept past me as i recall about the things i've been through with them and yet i couldn't and cannot stay close to them now...
one of them... was my ex. strangely, my company mate plays in a style so similar to him that it's so unbelievable... haha~ i revisited my memories of my ex... but it stays there. it has to. no point dwelling over something that's over for so long... but still, a certain wave of sadness kind of overwhelmed me as i watched my companymate play...
the other... was a friend i turned my back on due to stupid reasons... the guy that i knew here in shanghai has the same initial as my friend, they have almost the same build, similar hairstyle, and they play bball in similar fashion! lol~ but then i felt guilty... over the stupid things i did in the past to my friend which made him so hurt... and i wasn't a good friend and i wasn't there for him when he needed me... now that he's out of the shit i left him in, it's practically impossible to go back to the way things were before... not that i'm upset or i really really want to go back to the things that it was previously, it's more like... a pity that things turned out this way...
alright! let's leave our sorrow and sadness here. stop thinking back about things u dun have control over! start thinking about what you can do to salvage/make things better!
19 May 2008
18 May 2008
i miss those naive and innocent days.
these days time and events have polluted me so much until things i'd show concern to... i no longer want to or have the power to. like those people whom i was once close to... they've all moved on in their lives, and i didn't or couldn't keep in contact with them, so it makes showing concern a little weird and out of place. and then there were those whom... i can't really come to resolve the conflict within myself... those who hurt me... on purpose or unintentionally... sometimes i want to show concern but then i'll step back and ask myself. why do that? they hurt me last time...
it's really difficult to let go of the past isn't it.
就是因为受过伤，难过了那么久，所以更不想再受伤。
就是因为哭过，擦干泪后，再也不想失去笑容。
而笑容又是什么？不哭了，就是笑容吗？
我还有幸福的权利吗？那你呢？
不想在受到伤害，所以想武装自己。
用眼泪洗过了自己，想要强化软弱的心。
朋友与朋友之间，此时可能对你很好；
下一秒却可能利用你背叛你伤害你。
为了避免这些未知的伤，或许避开比较好。
静止的时间，是否已经开始移动？
曾溶解的心，是否又会再次冻结?
最后，我会忘记回忆，忘记珍惜。
不再懂得坚持，只懂得放弃。
好悲哀的一生。
我试图舍弃这些悲观的念头，但怎么也甩不掉。
these days time and events have polluted me so much until things i'd show concern to... i no longer want to or have the power to. like those people whom i was once close to... they've all moved on in their lives, and i didn't or couldn't keep in contact with them, so it makes showing concern a little weird and out of place. and then there were those whom... i can't really come to resolve the conflict within myself... those who hurt me... on purpose or unintentionally... sometimes i want to show concern but then i'll step back and ask myself. why do that? they hurt me last time...
it's really difficult to let go of the past isn't it.
就是因为受过伤，难过了那么久，所以更不想再受伤。
就是因为哭过，擦干泪后，再也不想失去笑容。
而笑容又是什么？不哭了，就是笑容吗？
我还有幸福的权利吗？那你呢？
不想在受到伤害，所以想武装自己。
用眼泪洗过了自己，想要强化软弱的心。
朋友与朋友之间，此时可能对你很好；
下一秒却可能利用你背叛你伤害你。
为了避免这些未知的伤，或许避开比较好。
静止的时间，是否已经开始移动？
曾溶解的心，是否又会再次冻结?
最后，我会忘记回忆，忘记珍惜。
不再懂得坚持，只懂得放弃。
好悲哀的一生。
我试图舍弃这些悲观的念头，但怎么也甩不掉。
13 May 2008
生命有一种绝对
五月天
如果我不曾走过这一遍
生命中还有多少苦和甜美
那风中的歌声孤单哽咽的声音是谁
回忆中那个少年为何依然不停的追
想要征服的世界始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线生命有一种绝对
等待我请等待我
直到约定融化成笑颜
那生命灿烂烟火般上演
你和我最后都要回归地平线
那留下的足迹浪花冲走回忆海岸线
靠近我再拥抱我
请不要让我的心冷却
想要征服的世界始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线生命有一种绝对
等待我请等待我
直到约定融化成笑颜
想要征服的世界始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线生命有一种绝对
等待我请等待我
靠近我再拥抱我
不要走请不要走
直到约定融化成笑颜
直到我看见生命的绝对
生命中的绝对到底是什么呢？我不太明白。或许，永远都无法明白。
朋友遇到先所谓有的难关，我却无法在他身边陪着他，给与他支持。这已经不是第一次，我的内心却依然无法原谅远在他乡的自己。要是我还在的话，就能更直接地给他帮助。现在的我是那么遥远，我到底能为他做些什么呢？
只能保持微笑吧。希望微笑能成为他的支撑，能够给他些许力量度过这个难关。
我要让你知道，有许多人都很关心你，相信你都感受得到。你要好好照顾自己，我无法在你身边确认你是否都有吃三餐，就算不是为了自己，就当作是为了那些关心你的人吧！不要封闭自己的心，我随时都愿意听你诉说你的状况。加油！我希望在我回去时，能看到事情发生前的你。。。
在得到消息前，我还在为自己琐碎的事情而烦恼。现在回想起来，那些事怎能与朋友遇难的事来得困难呢?
我决定了，放手也是一种快乐。有时候，喜欢并不一定要拥有吧。虽然知足的快乐或许会叫我忍受心痛，但这样是最好的办法了吧。以后会怎样，到时候再说吧。或许会以泪水洗面，但这就算是我的赌注吧。
有个人告诉我，不论是喜欢，或是爱情，都不要轻易放弃。这正是我以前所拥有的精神！但看看结果，或许当时的我不要那么坚持，接下来的日子会过得好多了。现在也如此吧。我已不再想再让心灵受再多的创伤。还是保持沉默好了吧，简简单单地过这一生，也不赖吧。就这样，一声不响地离开这个世界吧。
朋友！我们都要加油！不要败给命运，继续奋斗！这才是我们真正的精神！
五月天
如果我不曾走过这一遍
生命中还有多少苦和甜美
那风中的歌声孤单哽咽的声音是谁
回忆中那个少年为何依然不停的追
想要征服的世界始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线生命有一种绝对
等待我请等待我
直到约定融化成笑颜
那生命灿烂烟火般上演
你和我最后都要回归地平线
那留下的足迹浪花冲走回忆海岸线
靠近我再拥抱我
请不要让我的心冷却
想要征服的世界始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线生命有一种绝对
等待我请等待我
直到约定融化成笑颜
想要征服的世界始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线生命有一种绝对
等待我请等待我
靠近我再拥抱我
不要走请不要走
直到约定融化成笑颜
直到我看见生命的绝对
生命中的绝对到底是什么呢？我不太明白。或许，永远都无法明白。
朋友遇到先所谓有的难关，我却无法在他身边陪着他，给与他支持。这已经不是第一次，我的内心却依然无法原谅远在他乡的自己。要是我还在的话，就能更直接地给他帮助。现在的我是那么遥远，我到底能为他做些什么呢？
只能保持微笑吧。希望微笑能成为他的支撑，能够给他些许力量度过这个难关。
我要让你知道，有许多人都很关心你，相信你都感受得到。你要好好照顾自己，我无法在你身边确认你是否都有吃三餐，就算不是为了自己，就当作是为了那些关心你的人吧！不要封闭自己的心，我随时都愿意听你诉说你的状况。加油！我希望在我回去时，能看到事情发生前的你。。。
在得到消息前，我还在为自己琐碎的事情而烦恼。现在回想起来，那些事怎能与朋友遇难的事来得困难呢?
我决定了，放手也是一种快乐。有时候，喜欢并不一定要拥有吧。虽然知足的快乐或许会叫我忍受心痛，但这样是最好的办法了吧。以后会怎样，到时候再说吧。或许会以泪水洗面，但这就算是我的赌注吧。
有个人告诉我，不论是喜欢，或是爱情，都不要轻易放弃。这正是我以前所拥有的精神！但看看结果，或许当时的我不要那么坚持，接下来的日子会过得好多了。现在也如此吧。我已不再想再让心灵受再多的创伤。还是保持沉默好了吧，简简单单地过这一生，也不赖吧。就这样，一声不响地离开这个世界吧。
朋友！我们都要加油！不要败给命运，继续奋斗！这才是我们真正的精神！
12 May 2008
yet another day of mayday song lyrics!!!
知足
五月天
怎麼去拥有一道彩虹
怎麼去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能知道足够
如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎麼收藏要怎麼拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动
终於你身影 消失在人海尽头
才发现 笑著哭 最痛
那天你和我那个山丘
那样的唱著那一年的歌
那样的回忆那麼足够
足够我天天都品嚐著寂寞
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福 而感动
终於你身影消失在人海尽头
才发现 笑著哭 最痛
如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎麼收藏要怎麼拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛
知足
五月天
怎麼去拥有一道彩虹
怎麼去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能知道足够
如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎麼收藏要怎麼拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动
终於你身影 消失在人海尽头
才发现 笑著哭 最痛
那天你和我那个山丘
那样的唱著那一年的歌
那样的回忆那麼足够
足够我天天都品嚐著寂寞
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福 而感动
终於你身影消失在人海尽头
才发现 笑著哭 最痛
如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎麼收藏要怎麼拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛
10 May 2008
武装
五月天
我 忘了珍惜 忘了回忆
摔坏心爱的玩具
我 学着远离 学着放弃
学着再没有回忆
天空的城 在解体
爱过
所以特别 的伤心
我 忘了珍惜 忘了回忆
摔坏心爱的玩具
我 学着远离 学着放弃
学着再没有回忆
天空的城 在解体
爱过
所以特别 的伤心
最后我开始武装自己
用眼泪 洗过自己
最后我开始武装自己
要强化 软弱的心
最后我开始武装自己
有名字 没有个性
最后我开始武装自己
我活着 用我的逻辑
我 收藏恐惧 爱上恐惧
那就再没有恐惧
谁 要我忍受 给我生命
是谁给了我血液
流出身体 的声音
还你
我不稀罕 的东西
最后我开始武装自己
用眼泪 洗过自己
最后我开始武装自己
要强化 软弱的心
最后我开始武装自己
有名字 没有个性
最后我开始武装自己
我活着 杀出我命运
最后我开始武装自己
五月天
我 忘了珍惜 忘了回忆
摔坏心爱的玩具
我 学着远离 学着放弃
学着再没有回忆
天空的城 在解体
爱过
所以特别 的伤心
我 忘了珍惜 忘了回忆
摔坏心爱的玩具
我 学着远离 学着放弃
学着再没有回忆
天空的城 在解体
爱过
所以特别 的伤心
最后我开始武装自己
用眼泪 洗过自己
最后我开始武装自己
要强化 软弱的心
最后我开始武装自己
有名字 没有个性
最后我开始武装自己
我活着 用我的逻辑
我 收藏恐惧 爱上恐惧
那就再没有恐惧
谁 要我忍受 给我生命
是谁给了我血液
流出身体 的声音
还你
我不稀罕 的东西
最后我开始武装自己
用眼泪 洗过自己
最后我开始武装自己
要强化 软弱的心
最后我开始武装自己
有名字 没有个性
最后我开始武装自己
我活着 杀出我命运
最后我开始武装自己
07 May 2008
mayday! mayday!! mayday!!!
opps sorry i'm still pretty caught up with my mayday fever... so here's a few songs that keeps going on in repeat mode in my head...
超人
曲：冠佑/阿信 词：阿信
世界如果被残酷攻击 只要给我一个电话亭
把内裤当外衣 如果你能够开心 展开披风 带你飞行
谁赐予我这一身 无助的能力
神也不能阻挡 你想离开的心
为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么我能飞天 也能够遁地
为什么我却没办法 长驱直入 你的心
曾经你赞美我手臂 逛街多能提 日日夜夜贴身保护你
最凶狠的怪兽 也不能与我为敌 那为何害怕你的泪滴
你给了我这一幕 难堪的结局
谁要这样超人 连自己也救不起
为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么拯救地球 终于完美结局
为什么 我只能够 眼看着爱燃烧成 灰烬
世界如果被残酷攻击 谁来接手我的超能力
i keep coming face to face with problems i've seemed to solve, but nevertheless it is still inherent and silently bothering me... it has already been over for such a long time, yet i'm still pretty bothered by it... i never really knew where went wrong... could it be that the fault never truly lie with me? but i could never come to that conclusion within myself. i keep thinking i had some part to do with the outcome of events, and probably as a result, i could never let go of it fully.
the feeling of helplessness... of how i had totally no control over the events that happened between you and me... i could do any other things fine, just this. i'm no superman (or superwoman), i can't save the world, and i don't know if i have even the power to make a minute change in the world.... but i did believe there were things i could do... like helping those people around me, to try and bring happiness to those around me... until that happened, leaving my confidence totally shattered. i turned myself into a hermit... all for what? all for how i couldn't stop the flow of events...
and even now... things still didn't really change. no matter how hard i try, i guess i just couldn't do anything about this issue. someone thought he wasn't serious as i was, and totally couldn't be bothered with me now. was i wrong? was it something that i did? or was i too irritating? i don't know... yet others tell me i'm alright. the feeling of helplessness just kept rising as i continuously tried to suppress it...
why dwell on things that i have no control over? it's just a small event in life, in another 10 years or so i would probably be happily living in a world that has totally no connection with the things that happened. i've already wasted 3-5 years on this entire damn thing... why can't i just let go of it totally and never let it come back to bother me again?
i want myself back.
opps sorry i'm still pretty caught up with my mayday fever... so here's a few songs that keeps going on in repeat mode in my head...
超人
曲：冠佑/阿信 词：阿信
世界如果被残酷攻击 只要给我一个电话亭
把内裤当外衣 如果你能够开心 展开披风 带你飞行
谁赐予我这一身 无助的能力
神也不能阻挡 你想离开的心
为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么我能飞天 也能够遁地
为什么我却没办法 长驱直入 你的心
曾经你赞美我手臂 逛街多能提 日日夜夜贴身保护你
最凶狠的怪兽 也不能与我为敌 那为何害怕你的泪滴
你给了我这一幕 难堪的结局
谁要这样超人 连自己也救不起
为什么拯救地球 是那么容易
为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情
为什么拯救地球 终于完美结局
为什么 我只能够 眼看着爱燃烧成 灰烬
世界如果被残酷攻击 谁来接手我的超能力
i keep coming face to face with problems i've seemed to solve, but nevertheless it is still inherent and silently bothering me... it has already been over for such a long time, yet i'm still pretty bothered by it... i never really knew where went wrong... could it be that the fault never truly lie with me? but i could never come to that conclusion within myself. i keep thinking i had some part to do with the outcome of events, and probably as a result, i could never let go of it fully.
the feeling of helplessness... of how i had totally no control over the events that happened between you and me... i could do any other things fine, just this. i'm no superman (or superwoman), i can't save the world, and i don't know if i have even the power to make a minute change in the world.... but i did believe there were things i could do... like helping those people around me, to try and bring happiness to those around me... until that happened, leaving my confidence totally shattered. i turned myself into a hermit... all for what? all for how i couldn't stop the flow of events...
and even now... things still didn't really change. no matter how hard i try, i guess i just couldn't do anything about this issue. someone thought he wasn't serious as i was, and totally couldn't be bothered with me now. was i wrong? was it something that i did? or was i too irritating? i don't know... yet others tell me i'm alright. the feeling of helplessness just kept rising as i continuously tried to suppress it...
why dwell on things that i have no control over? it's just a small event in life, in another 10 years or so i would probably be happily living in a world that has totally no connection with the things that happened. i've already wasted 3-5 years on this entire damn thing... why can't i just let go of it totally and never let it come back to bother me again?
i want myself back.
03 May 2008
sometimes... i wonder... wad does it mean to be sociable? does it mean always hanging out with your clique, going for all activities organized by the clique? or does it mean screaming out ur existence with loads of funny comments, disturbing pple and stuff like that?
i suppose i never managed to learn one thing -- how to trust others. well, not to say i trust myself in the first place either! haha~ or maybe the more accurate way of putting it is... how to trust others on issues i should place my trust on. i'm so damn gullible, believing all the little comments others claim... and yet i can't seem to trust how others would value my voice, my opinion, or even my existence. i dun trust how others might enjoy my presence... i don't trust how i can bring joy to others around me...
no one can expect the entire world to like themselves. me neither... but if u don't like me, i can tell u frankly... i don't like myself either.
change. that is something i desire... probably... but perhaps some things are so inherent within me that i don't know how to change for the better... sometimes i thought i had changed, but after one big round around the bush, i'm back to square one. hahaha. i feel so damn stupid.
on a more cheerful tone... i attended my first live concert! though it was a really stressful experience for me probably... i waited for my friends at the wrong mrt station, and the china mobile network seriously sux... i couldn't make any calls to my friends then... so originally i was 1 hour early, i ended up meeting with my friends 45 mins late... and we were almost late for the concert itself! rawrs~ i'm so sorry to those who went to the mayday concert together with me... but i had a great time then! thankews guys ^^
feeling really tired.... but there are so many things waiting for me to do... like to bake chocolate cake in a half chocked toilet... ok opps that doesn't sound good on a clean blog like mine right? haha... reports waiting for me... haiz. too much stuff, too little time~~~
time to develop feelings with my trusty toilet bowl!!!
ps. this is my 501th post!
i suppose i never managed to learn one thing -- how to trust others. well, not to say i trust myself in the first place either! haha~ or maybe the more accurate way of putting it is... how to trust others on issues i should place my trust on. i'm so damn gullible, believing all the little comments others claim... and yet i can't seem to trust how others would value my voice, my opinion, or even my existence. i dun trust how others might enjoy my presence... i don't trust how i can bring joy to others around me...
no one can expect the entire world to like themselves. me neither... but if u don't like me, i can tell u frankly... i don't like myself either.
change. that is something i desire... probably... but perhaps some things are so inherent within me that i don't know how to change for the better... sometimes i thought i had changed, but after one big round around the bush, i'm back to square one. hahaha. i feel so damn stupid.
on a more cheerful tone... i attended my first live concert! though it was a really stressful experience for me probably... i waited for my friends at the wrong mrt station, and the china mobile network seriously sux... i couldn't make any calls to my friends then... so originally i was 1 hour early, i ended up meeting with my friends 45 mins late... and we were almost late for the concert itself! rawrs~ i'm so sorry to those who went to the mayday concert together with me... but i had a great time then! thankews guys ^^
feeling really tired.... but there are so many things waiting for me to do... like to bake chocolate cake in a half chocked toilet... ok opps that doesn't sound good on a clean blog like mine right? haha... reports waiting for me... haiz. too much stuff, too little time~~~
time to develop feelings with my trusty toilet bowl!!!
ps. this is my 501th post!
22 April 2008
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
i thought i had conquered it for a long time... never did i expect to come face to face with it again. face to face with my best friend again. what irony...
i really enjoy the company i get here... it's really fun cam-whoring during outings, going out to shop, buy groceries n stuff... it's great to have people whom i can relate to and understand pretty well... and to be crazy with... like doing all those crazy singing screaming jumping and dancing in ktvs... but...
i'm afraid of getting too attached to others... i'm afraid of becoming scared of being lonely again... once i have gotten so used to others around me, when i get back to my previous lifestyle of solitude (probably) i wouldn't be able to stand or tolerate the loneliness left behind...
i wonder what made me know how feeling lonely is like again...
and i wonder... if others feel the same way as i do...
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
i thought i had conquered it for a long time... never did i expect to come face to face with it again. face to face with my best friend again. what irony...
i really enjoy the company i get here... it's really fun cam-whoring during outings, going out to shop, buy groceries n stuff... it's great to have people whom i can relate to and understand pretty well... and to be crazy with... like doing all those crazy singing screaming jumping and dancing in ktvs... but...
i'm afraid of getting too attached to others... i'm afraid of becoming scared of being lonely again... once i have gotten so used to others around me, when i get back to my previous lifestyle of solitude (probably) i wouldn't be able to stand or tolerate the loneliness left behind...
i wonder what made me know how feeling lonely is like again...
and i wonder... if others feel the same way as i do...
12 April 2008
i suppose, there are just some things that does not change with distance. perhaps i'm just being naive like i always do... or even childish (even a kid called me "a kid" today... omg~ haha) but i suppose, no matter where you are, what you do, your family is always behind you, "secretly" supporting you...
i accidentally stumbled across a pretty old blog post... i was feeling really down, and reading that post made my tears roll down my cheeks... i'm really glad i can make you feel this way... and i didn't know i could do this... ^^ haha funny i think about that post my tears will accumulate in my eyes... really thanks =)) i very touched =))
alcohol really doesn't help one feel better... ok maybe during the moment when u're high from the spirits, but after that, u're back stuck in that fix u left previously, or u might feel even worse (from the hangover maybe? haha) strangely, i found myself having the desire to drown whatever that was bothering me with alcoholic drinks that wouldn't make me drunk... bailey's is sitting in front of me without milk... i'm like dying to open up that bottle to just drink straight from it... and probably die from alcohol overdose or something... hahahahaha
this is just another vicious cycle that only makes one feel worse... especially in your pockets.
i accidentally stumbled across a pretty old blog post... i was feeling really down, and reading that post made my tears roll down my cheeks... i'm really glad i can make you feel this way... and i didn't know i could do this... ^^ haha funny i think about that post my tears will accumulate in my eyes... really thanks =)) i very touched =))
alcohol really doesn't help one feel better... ok maybe during the moment when u're high from the spirits, but after that, u're back stuck in that fix u left previously, or u might feel even worse (from the hangover maybe? haha) strangely, i found myself having the desire to drown whatever that was bothering me with alcoholic drinks that wouldn't make me drunk... bailey's is sitting in front of me without milk... i'm like dying to open up that bottle to just drink straight from it... and probably die from alcohol overdose or something... hahahahaha
this is just another vicious cycle that only makes one feel worse... especially in your pockets.
09 April 2008
sometimes i wonder... why do i feel the way i do? sometimes in afterthought, i wonder why i had done certain things at that point in time... i felt stupid doing them, knowing that there's no point probably in doing them...
am i just being over-sensitive?
i was a little happy some time back when i received an email from someone i didn't expect. not that it was the kinds of email i exchange with my really close friends to catch up on each other, it's just some forwarded email. but, i was still happy. it showed that that person remembered me. though later it turned out to be some sort of spam mail, it still kinda made my day. weird har? even now i don't understand why i felt this way. and i replied to that mail (stupidly)... but i suppose i wouldn't get a reply haha... we're probably just acquaintances, and thus it'll be weird if either one of us reply to each other anyway hahaha~ now i just laugh at how stupid i was... lol~
and maybe i'm really too mimosa as how one of my housemates usually puts it... i got quite... put off when someone whom i've kinda "argued" with... sorta "suan" me with a mail i forwarded which turned out to be a spam mail... i dunno whether i'm just being oversensitive or not, i hope i am... but it still didn't feel good, cos i tot that person was someone who knew me pretty well... or maybe distance does change a lot of things... i don't know anything anymore...
ok below is just some of my inner thoughts... it doesn't mean that i'm suffering here in shanghai... of course everyone will have their own problems with their life wherever they are, but when pple back in singapore ask me how am i, of course i'll reply, i'm doing great! wad else can i say? complain how i'm unused to life here in shanghai? i wouldn't want others to worry about me, but it seems like everybody is under the impression that i'm in shanghai to play, enjoy life and not to work at all. i repeat, everybody has their own problems, just whether they want to emphasize it to others or not. but i do admit, i have my share of play too... and enjoying life... but it's too sweeping a statement to just say i'm here only for that...
haha this brings to mind what another one of my housemates posed to me as a question today... so, do you suppress your true self to others usually? i wonder... haha.
i suppose so... lol.
wad's really bothering me is, why am i suppressing myself in front of someone whom i consider a pretty close friend?
i guess i just had a really tough day today...
i might be going to the mayday concert live in shanghai at the end of april!!! kinda excited cos it's my first live concert if i'm going for it... but then again, i'm a little poor... and i wanna buy a nikey jacket! jialats... that's like 2/3 of my pay gone already if i'm going to spend on these things, and there's still my shopping trip this coming friday, a visit to peach blossom garden which costs approximately 100rmb this sunday... arrgh! why dun i have some rich boyfriend in shanghai??!!! o.O
haha i suppose this is just a sign of lack of sleep =)) good nite, world...
am i just being over-sensitive?
i was a little happy some time back when i received an email from someone i didn't expect. not that it was the kinds of email i exchange with my really close friends to catch up on each other, it's just some forwarded email. but, i was still happy. it showed that that person remembered me. though later it turned out to be some sort of spam mail, it still kinda made my day. weird har? even now i don't understand why i felt this way. and i replied to that mail (stupidly)... but i suppose i wouldn't get a reply haha... we're probably just acquaintances, and thus it'll be weird if either one of us reply to each other anyway hahaha~ now i just laugh at how stupid i was... lol~
and maybe i'm really too mimosa as how one of my housemates usually puts it... i got quite... put off when someone whom i've kinda "argued" with... sorta "suan" me with a mail i forwarded which turned out to be a spam mail... i dunno whether i'm just being oversensitive or not, i hope i am... but it still didn't feel good, cos i tot that person was someone who knew me pretty well... or maybe distance does change a lot of things... i don't know anything anymore...
ok below is just some of my inner thoughts... it doesn't mean that i'm suffering here in shanghai... of course everyone will have their own problems with their life wherever they are, but when pple back in singapore ask me how am i, of course i'll reply, i'm doing great! wad else can i say? complain how i'm unused to life here in shanghai? i wouldn't want others to worry about me, but it seems like everybody is under the impression that i'm in shanghai to play, enjoy life and not to work at all. i repeat, everybody has their own problems, just whether they want to emphasize it to others or not. but i do admit, i have my share of play too... and enjoying life... but it's too sweeping a statement to just say i'm here only for that...
haha this brings to mind what another one of my housemates posed to me as a question today... so, do you suppress your true self to others usually? i wonder... haha.
i suppose so... lol.
wad's really bothering me is, why am i suppressing myself in front of someone whom i consider a pretty close friend?
i guess i just had a really tough day today...
i might be going to the mayday concert live in shanghai at the end of april!!! kinda excited cos it's my first live concert if i'm going for it... but then again, i'm a little poor... and i wanna buy a nikey jacket! jialats... that's like 2/3 of my pay gone already if i'm going to spend on these things, and there's still my shopping trip this coming friday, a visit to peach blossom garden which costs approximately 100rmb this sunday... arrgh! why dun i have some rich boyfriend in shanghai??!!! o.O
haha i suppose this is just a sign of lack of sleep =)) good nite, world...
15 March 2008
it's been quite some time since i last posted... so here's a slight update!
saturday... i had school in the morning which turned out rather boring... i ended up having a terrible headache that lasted the entire day... after school me n my housemates n classmates went to 七宝古镇 which has a lot of old buildings... photos ah... lazy to upload at the moment haha! but it was quite fun taking pictures like tourists as usual...
yeaps... ehhhhhhh i shall update again soon haha! time to play game! hehes~
saturday... i had school in the morning which turned out rather boring... i ended up having a terrible headache that lasted the entire day... after school me n my housemates n classmates went to 七宝古镇 which has a lot of old buildings... photos ah... lazy to upload at the moment haha! but it was quite fun taking pictures like tourists as usual...
yeaps... ehhhhhhh i shall update again soon haha! time to play game! hehes~
03 March 2008
我们是如此的亲近，却又如此遥远。
明明就在彼此旁边，但却不了解彼此内心深处。
同在他乡，同在一屋檐下。。。
我们赶走了寂静，却赶不走寂寞。
it seems like it's been a long time since i last gave a lot of thought about the things around me... i feel a little out of touch with my soul frankly speaking... been out working (i can't say hard hehes~) at my attachment company, and i just started school last week... my sprained ankle is finally on the last lap to recovery (that sounds a little wrong... lap... hahaha!) and i miss exercising...
haven't really been in contact with pple in sg but i miss u guys... i know my fellow tcm friends (pansy n yc) just had their exam and their CA is up on thurs, and i guess everyone else is busy with their own lives... well i'm not excluded from the list of busy people either, but probably cos i took the time off today to slack a little (the entire day -- at work, and after work... haha!) so i had quite a lot of thoughts...
i wonder if i care about things a little too much... am i just taking things too seriously? sometimes i feel as though others are prying into my little universe... this reminds me... one of the teachers mentioned this quote from a philosopher... 每个人都是一个世界... so i'm like stuck in my little world.. while others mingle around and mix with each others world, i'm like a little china, closing my doors to other worlds beyond my own. ok that sounds like a funny way to put it... and china is indeed slowly opening her doors... hmmmms.
but ahh, in yc's favourite term(s), wadeva. it feels tiring if one has to be on guard every day every moment to stop others from stepping too much into one's private space. how to resolve such a problem? either cut off contact from the others so to speak, or to enlarge one's public space? that's just 2 solutions i can see for now. oh yes, and maybe to build a even higher wall around one's own private world to stop others from "intruding"? all these aren't the solutions i'm looking for probably. i'm probably too lazy to do either of the three... but it makes me wonder what exactly is wrong with me...
and then there's the money issue. all those around me (except those from my household) seem to have endless cash with them and to me, they're like squandering all their money while i'm trying very hard to save money... i wonder where they get their money from! and they keep asking me to eat (expensive) things out with them... sometimes i feel bad when i keep rejecting them, but to me, saving money >> eating expensive food despite the company i'll get... i wonder if the choices i make are right... but then again, there's no right or wrong... =X
已经看不清彼此的感受，
因为我们都封闭了我们的心。
明明就在彼此旁边，但却不了解彼此内心深处。
同在他乡，同在一屋檐下。。。
我们赶走了寂静，却赶不走寂寞。
it seems like it's been a long time since i last gave a lot of thought about the things around me... i feel a little out of touch with my soul frankly speaking... been out working (i can't say hard hehes~) at my attachment company, and i just started school last week... my sprained ankle is finally on the last lap to recovery (that sounds a little wrong... lap... hahaha!) and i miss exercising...
haven't really been in contact with pple in sg but i miss u guys... i know my fellow tcm friends (pansy n yc) just had their exam and their CA is up on thurs, and i guess everyone else is busy with their own lives... well i'm not excluded from the list of busy people either, but probably cos i took the time off today to slack a little (the entire day -- at work, and after work... haha!) so i had quite a lot of thoughts...
i wonder if i care about things a little too much... am i just taking things too seriously? sometimes i feel as though others are prying into my little universe... this reminds me... one of the teachers mentioned this quote from a philosopher... 每个人都是一个世界... so i'm like stuck in my little world.. while others mingle around and mix with each others world, i'm like a little china, closing my doors to other worlds beyond my own. ok that sounds like a funny way to put it... and china is indeed slowly opening her doors... hmmmms.
but ahh, in yc's favourite term(s), wadeva. it feels tiring if one has to be on guard every day every moment to stop others from stepping too much into one's private space. how to resolve such a problem? either cut off contact from the others so to speak, or to enlarge one's public space? that's just 2 solutions i can see for now. oh yes, and maybe to build a even higher wall around one's own private world to stop others from "intruding"? all these aren't the solutions i'm looking for probably. i'm probably too lazy to do either of the three... but it makes me wonder what exactly is wrong with me...
and then there's the money issue. all those around me (except those from my household) seem to have endless cash with them and to me, they're like squandering all their money while i'm trying very hard to save money... i wonder where they get their money from! and they keep asking me to eat (expensive) things out with them... sometimes i feel bad when i keep rejecting them, but to me, saving money >> eating expensive food despite the company i'll get... i wonder if the choices i make are right... but then again, there's no right or wrong... =X
已经看不清彼此的感受，
因为我们都封闭了我们的心。
14 February 2008
25 January 2008
being so distant away from home makes me feel dejected at times... i try hard to talk to my friends in singapore often, but these days whenever i reach home i often feel too tired, or i'm busy with household chores and i seldom have the time to talk to these people in depth... it's not only the first month into me being in foreign lands, and i already feel like giving up trying to remain connected to the friends i left behind...
i fell sick yesterday... had a sore throat and slight fever, but luckily i drank loads of water, orange juice, and took panadol, so today i'm better... or maybe the red wine i drank yesterday at the annual dinner made me feel better...? i don't know haha! but at one point in time when i was stoning on the bus, i had this strange and weird thought : what if i were to die alone in a foreign land? opps that felt so sad man... then i was laughing at my plight... dots. sorry lars u guys have to forgive me... i was trying so hrad to entertain myself...
i feel like such a good girl these days... everyday i wake up at around 530am... wash up eat breakfast, get out of the house at 6.40am, reach company at (the earliest) 720am... else like today i reached on the dot... 8am... shanghai transport seriously is crazy... work work~ until knock off... official timing is 4.45pm, but we usually drag a little trying to wait for each other to finish up our work... then i'll try my best to rush home, earliest at around 6pm... and then wait for the rest of my housemates to reach home so that we can settle dinner together... after that it's tv time, bathe time... applying moisturiser and conditioner and then i go sleep at 10pm (i try ^^) omg. so no life...
but i'm not complaining about my life here that much... it's fun here working in my company... my supervisor is damn zai, and i dunno y he feels like my dad... ? maybe cos both of them are engineers... i kind of chong2 bai4 my supervisor cos he's very sharp and decisive and settles things damn fast... and he's very precise with his words... and his english is not bad! and he's a nice guy. wait why am i singing his praises on my blog. dots... but i'm really happy working on the projects he gave me... i dunno y hahaha~ 1 is to develop a web application for a maintenance records database... at first i thought it shouldn't be too tough, but as more and more requirements come in... i don't think i can complete it in the 3 weeks i originally set it to be... =X but it's really fun... i learn alot about programming imo =) maybe this is one of the reasons why i like my supervisor a lot =)
yesterday i had my company's annual dinner! food was... a lot. it seems like company dinners always involve a lot of food... and alcohol... i drank a little bit of wine... though i could have rejected probably... take it as warm up for my crazy housemates who wanted to chiong martel tonight... heng they decided to push back ah... gives me more time to think of excuses to siam from drinking.. opps! but at the dinner we had quite a lot of "free gift"... had 3 slabs(?) of different types of nian2 gao1... there's red bean, 5 treasures... and the last one i have yet to check haha! then there was this really nice guy who gave us a huge box of chocolates each.. that costs like 100rmb! wah i felt shou4 chong3 ruo4 jing1... but i dun really eat chocolate, so this means they're going to my housemates haha!
performed kit chan's home at the dinner yesterday... felt quite good... cos i haven't sang for like... 2 weeks? opps. last time at home can sing whenever i like... now when i'm here i have to be more conscious... cannot sing as and when i like... even music... i don't dare to on my speakers... so i'm usually musicless... and it's painful for me cos i'm someone who needs music to survive probably... =X but luckily today on my way home i managed to listen to my mp3... and right now no one's in the living room now, so i on my speakers and i'm listening to fahrenheit's new album... well, not all their songs are "wow"~ but some are not bad... gotta give them credit for the hard work they put in =)
to my friends who were waiting for my email replies, i'm sorry i was really busy this week and so my replies are kind of delayed... erms pansy i'll email you once i think of how to solve the maths problem... i don't know why my brain probably froze here cos of the constant wind in shanghai, but that's besides the point... i hope i can get enough rest and personal time this weekend... so that i can do the stuff i need to do... next week is 9 straight working days waiting for me... i'm working on sat and sun too! omg. >.<
alrighty, time to hit my pillows =) hope i can come back to post a little more frequently (that is if the connection decides to be stable enough for me to even enter blogger site ^^)
seriously... shanghai air is waayyyy too polluted... =(
i fell sick yesterday... had a sore throat and slight fever, but luckily i drank loads of water, orange juice, and took panadol, so today i'm better... or maybe the red wine i drank yesterday at the annual dinner made me feel better...? i don't know haha! but at one point in time when i was stoning on the bus, i had this strange and weird thought : what if i were to die alone in a foreign land? opps that felt so sad man... then i was laughing at my plight... dots. sorry lars u guys have to forgive me... i was trying so hrad to entertain myself...
i feel like such a good girl these days... everyday i wake up at around 530am... wash up eat breakfast, get out of the house at 6.40am, reach company at (the earliest) 720am... else like today i reached on the dot... 8am... shanghai transport seriously is crazy... work work~ until knock off... official timing is 4.45pm, but we usually drag a little trying to wait for each other to finish up our work... then i'll try my best to rush home, earliest at around 6pm... and then wait for the rest of my housemates to reach home so that we can settle dinner together... after that it's tv time, bathe time... applying moisturiser and conditioner and then i go sleep at 10pm (i try ^^) omg. so no life...
but i'm not complaining about my life here that much... it's fun here working in my company... my supervisor is damn zai, and i dunno y he feels like my dad... ? maybe cos both of them are engineers... i kind of chong2 bai4 my supervisor cos he's very sharp and decisive and settles things damn fast... and he's very precise with his words... and his english is not bad! and he's a nice guy. wait why am i singing his praises on my blog. dots... but i'm really happy working on the projects he gave me... i dunno y hahaha~ 1 is to develop a web application for a maintenance records database... at first i thought it shouldn't be too tough, but as more and more requirements come in... i don't think i can complete it in the 3 weeks i originally set it to be... =X but it's really fun... i learn alot about programming imo =) maybe this is one of the reasons why i like my supervisor a lot =)
yesterday i had my company's annual dinner! food was... a lot. it seems like company dinners always involve a lot of food... and alcohol... i drank a little bit of wine... though i could have rejected probably... take it as warm up for my crazy housemates who wanted to chiong martel tonight... heng they decided to push back ah... gives me more time to think of excuses to siam from drinking.. opps! but at the dinner we had quite a lot of "free gift"... had 3 slabs(?) of different types of nian2 gao1... there's red bean, 5 treasures... and the last one i have yet to check haha! then there was this really nice guy who gave us a huge box of chocolates each.. that costs like 100rmb! wah i felt shou4 chong3 ruo4 jing1... but i dun really eat chocolate, so this means they're going to my housemates haha!
performed kit chan's home at the dinner yesterday... felt quite good... cos i haven't sang for like... 2 weeks? opps. last time at home can sing whenever i like... now when i'm here i have to be more conscious... cannot sing as and when i like... even music... i don't dare to on my speakers... so i'm usually musicless... and it's painful for me cos i'm someone who needs music to survive probably... =X but luckily today on my way home i managed to listen to my mp3... and right now no one's in the living room now, so i on my speakers and i'm listening to fahrenheit's new album... well, not all their songs are "wow"~ but some are not bad... gotta give them credit for the hard work they put in =)
to my friends who were waiting for my email replies, i'm sorry i was really busy this week and so my replies are kind of delayed... erms pansy i'll email you once i think of how to solve the maths problem... i don't know why my brain probably froze here cos of the constant wind in shanghai, but that's besides the point... i hope i can get enough rest and personal time this weekend... so that i can do the stuff i need to do... next week is 9 straight working days waiting for me... i'm working on sat and sun too! omg. >.<
alrighty, time to hit my pillows =) hope i can come back to post a little more frequently (that is if the connection decides to be stable enough for me to even enter blogger site ^^)
seriously... shanghai air is waayyyy too polluted... =(
13 January 2008
Sometimes i wonder... whether i'm a fishmonger by nature. i can't help but to feel selfish in most occasions that occur when i'm together with my housemates... am i just thinking too much? i feel that we 包容 each other alot... but more of them 包容ing me... and it doesn't feel good to me, cos i'm the kind of person who doesn't like to be in debt to others... not to say that being considerate to others will make that person in debt to you... just that maybe... i don't like to be usually on the receiving end bah... i want to contribute too?
but then again there's the issue of... what if i contribute too much? when someone contributes too much as compared to others... there's the danger of others making use of you... i can't tell whether i'm in this potential danger with my current clique yet... but i can't help but to... be cautious? too many past experience liaos... i couldn't say i enjoy on the giving end most of the time...
so i suppose, as a libra-ian... i'll have to somehow strike a balance between giving and receiving... i feel in debt to my housemates and my friends in shanghai... they really help me a lot, but i don't know whether i'm helping them enough. and i don't know how i can help them... with the little common sense and knowledge i have... and i think i have a really bad habit of spacing out when i'm together with the clique... or rather i might just be too quiet in their clique i suppose... maybe when i'm in huge groups that are close to each other i tend to be more quiet... and let them interact themselves... i don't like to fight for the chance to talk i suppose... *opps trying to find excuse for myself again hahaha*
i'm starting work tml! excited and nervous... and the weather's going to be cold tml too! 2-5 degrees not taking into the wind factor... once there's wind then gone case liaos, most likely below 0 degrees le... today it snowed a little... i hope and hope not it snow... hope cos i have never been to a country that snowed in my life before! hope not cos... it'll be damn cold and i don't know if i'm able to take it! and then... i don't know why... it seems like my fellow ntu collegues are... rather unfriendly? or maybe i was unfriendly to them first... i dunno... it's like we never contact each other to like go to work together or something... but i hope tomorrow when i meet them *i hope*... we can probably mix around and get each others contacts n things like that...
i went shopping today! went to 七浦路 again... i bought 2 leg warmers, a pair of leather gloves, and a long white woolen coat... i hope these can help me fight the cold better! and i'm broke! TTnTT i spent like almost 300rmb just today... *inclusive of meals and other miscellaneous stuff* haiz i must end my princess lifestyle and start my budget life! eat maggie noodles every night! lol i'm joking... the roadside stalls near my apartment sell really cheap food too... probably about the same price as cooking maggie mee haha! so that can be an alternative for my dinner =)
today i learnt how to iron jeans! thanks to kian tong who taught me how... though the 徒弟 abit cannot make it... but at least it doesn't look as crumpled as before... i just pray that no one will stare at my butt area when i wear that pair of jeans cos it's the part i don't know how to iron hahaha~ so that side is crumpled XD
and i washed like... 8 pieces of clothes today! hand wash somemore! sighz now i understand my mum's pain whenever we keep throwing in our jeans to the washing basket when we wear for like 1-2 days only... and i should have brought more clothes that doesn't require handwashing! sighz~
overall these few days had been fun! always going out... i just went for the best steamboat in shanghai plus overnight ktv on friday... for 120rmb = 20+sgd! the food at the steamboat place was not bad... service ok... we had a room to ourselves that night! then i learnt how to suck the bone marrow from the pig bones cos we ordered pig bone soup as our steamboat's soup base =) there's a video taken by my friend's camera but i don't have it with me hahaha~ then ktv was... haha... everybody else very onz when we started at 12midnight... i chui at ard 2am... then when i more alert at around 4... everybody else was asleep by 430pm except me and my 2 other housemates... the ktv room there is like singapore kbox! just that they have big lcd screens! and it seems like singing ktv is more of a family and everybody thing in china as compared to a youngsters-only thing in singapore... which is good imo... cos i love singing and i think everyone should have the chance to sing in ktv too! or rather the environment to sort of like encourage pple not to be shy and just sing in their shower rooms... haha!
alrighty... 10:34pm liaos... time to hit the bed... wish me luck for tml!
but then again there's the issue of... what if i contribute too much? when someone contributes too much as compared to others... there's the danger of others making use of you... i can't tell whether i'm in this potential danger with my current clique yet... but i can't help but to... be cautious? too many past experience liaos... i couldn't say i enjoy on the giving end most of the time...
so i suppose, as a libra-ian... i'll have to somehow strike a balance between giving and receiving... i feel in debt to my housemates and my friends in shanghai... they really help me a lot, but i don't know whether i'm helping them enough. and i don't know how i can help them... with the little common sense and knowledge i have... and i think i have a really bad habit of spacing out when i'm together with the clique... or rather i might just be too quiet in their clique i suppose... maybe when i'm in huge groups that are close to each other i tend to be more quiet... and let them interact themselves... i don't like to fight for the chance to talk i suppose... *opps trying to find excuse for myself again hahaha*
i'm starting work tml! excited and nervous... and the weather's going to be cold tml too! 2-5 degrees not taking into the wind factor... once there's wind then gone case liaos, most likely below 0 degrees le... today it snowed a little... i hope and hope not it snow... hope cos i have never been to a country that snowed in my life before! hope not cos... it'll be damn cold and i don't know if i'm able to take it! and then... i don't know why... it seems like my fellow ntu collegues are... rather unfriendly? or maybe i was unfriendly to them first... i dunno... it's like we never contact each other to like go to work together or something... but i hope tomorrow when i meet them *i hope*... we can probably mix around and get each others contacts n things like that...
i went shopping today! went to 七浦路 again... i bought 2 leg warmers, a pair of leather gloves, and a long white woolen coat... i hope these can help me fight the cold better! and i'm broke! TTnTT i spent like almost 300rmb just today... *inclusive of meals and other miscellaneous stuff* haiz i must end my princess lifestyle and start my budget life! eat maggie noodles every night! lol i'm joking... the roadside stalls near my apartment sell really cheap food too... probably about the same price as cooking maggie mee haha! so that can be an alternative for my dinner =)
today i learnt how to iron jeans! thanks to kian tong who taught me how... though the 徒弟 abit cannot make it... but at least it doesn't look as crumpled as before... i just pray that no one will stare at my butt area when i wear that pair of jeans cos it's the part i don't know how to iron hahaha~ so that side is crumpled XD
and i washed like... 8 pieces of clothes today! hand wash somemore! sighz now i understand my mum's pain whenever we keep throwing in our jeans to the washing basket when we wear for like 1-2 days only... and i should have brought more clothes that doesn't require handwashing! sighz~
overall these few days had been fun! always going out... i just went for the best steamboat in shanghai plus overnight ktv on friday... for 120rmb = 20+sgd! the food at the steamboat place was not bad... service ok... we had a room to ourselves that night! then i learnt how to suck the bone marrow from the pig bones cos we ordered pig bone soup as our steamboat's soup base =) there's a video taken by my friend's camera but i don't have it with me hahaha~ then ktv was... haha... everybody else very onz when we started at 12midnight... i chui at ard 2am... then when i more alert at around 4... everybody else was asleep by 430pm except me and my 2 other housemates... the ktv room there is like singapore kbox! just that they have big lcd screens! and it seems like singing ktv is more of a family and everybody thing in china as compared to a youngsters-only thing in singapore... which is good imo... cos i love singing and i think everyone should have the chance to sing in ktv too! or rather the environment to sort of like encourage pple not to be shy and just sing in their shower rooms... haha!
alrighty... 10:34pm liaos... time to hit the bed... wish me luck for tml!
08 January 2008
heys! surprise!!!
me and my fellow ntu friends found a method to bypass the proxy here in shanghai, so i can actually post my entries on blogger! just that i can't access my blog itself... =( sounds sad haha! but this means... heh. heh. heh.
these few days had been rather tiring for me... been out walking all day long these 3 days... stiff back =( but so far... feel quite productive... cos been buying and settling quite a lot of things!
for now.. let me just post my previous thoughts when i first arrived in shanghai on 6th jan...
06 Jan 2008 10:37pm
Today's my first day here in Shanghai... Been a really cold and tiring day for me... When i first reached shanghai at around 6am in the morning, it was a freaking -1degrees celcius... and i was just wearing a really thin layer of clothes plus my overcoat... it was the first time i experienced "smoke" coming out of my mouth when i spoke out there in the cold...
Spent the rest of the day trying to fix up the basic necessities in our house while fighting with the bitter cold... one moral i learnt today... when u're cold, the best way out is to exercise, like walking to the "nearby" shopping malls or doing some manual work. once u're heated up, even when the wind blows... wad is it man? lmao~ but at the moment now... it's terribly cold until my muscles are starting to ache... and i really wish i don't have to bathe =( we spent like 1k rmb on bedsheets, detergents, quilts etc... and it was ouch for me cos i was the one paying for everything first... tml i have to remember to get back money from them =X it's scary how fast money goes in front of your eyes... and i need to learn how to manage them properly.. 1k sgd plus my monthly 1.5k rmb... i hope i wouldn't have to resort to drawing from atms here... =X
Now... trying desperately to connect to the wireless connection... but failing numerous times... oh well... must wait until the landlord tells us the account id and password... so in the meantime we were trying to tap onto other people's unsecured wireless networks... but of course the shanghainess aren't dumb... so here i am... rather desperate to talk to those people i left in singapore but with no means to do so...
Need to wake up at 6 tml... i wonder if i can do it... i guess i haven't been sleeping proper even before i left for shanghai... and i haven't bathed! =( can i don't bathe pls? the water is freezing cold.. =(
Some other things that left a terrible impression on me... i was targeted by shanghainese for their scams! *already? oh god* there was this old lady who saw me and my room mates buying loads of things and wanted to chalk up the points from our purchases for her shopping card! alright bah... at least so far i can still tell wad they have in mind... i think it's the scariest when you don't know their motives behind approaching you...
But some things *which i don't know whether i'm proud of* is that... probably i resemble the locals in shanghai! several people spoke to me in shanghainese... and even my friends who came together with me commented that the way i dress is as though i'm one of the locals here... er the comments from my friends i don't know how true that really is... but when the locals start speaking to you in their native language i suppose that's a good sign bah.. so yeaps. my next target is to learn shanghainese and pose off as one of the locals here! lmao~
I didn't really take a lot of photos here... but i hope i can do so tomorrow! for now... all i can think of is how to escape from the biting cold and how in the world am i going to go for the gip group meeting tml... and not forgetting how to get to my workplace!
I miss a lot of people from Singapore... Thanks pansy for your muffins! erms actually i haven't got the chance to eat them yet... but they smell really good! i'm saving them for breakfast tml =) and thanks to sheila shianchi and yin for coming to send me off yesterday night! took some really scandalous photos there bwahahahaha~~ and of course my family... darn i wish i have internet today to let them know i'm alright *except for being extremely cold* and all those who wished me bon voyage and to have a safe and fun trip... =) i don't know how to express my gratitude =) and... =)
ok it sounds stupid... but 6 mths to go in shanghai! jiayous! =) *now why am i even counting down the moment i first step into shanghai? o.O*
me and my fellow ntu friends found a method to bypass the proxy here in shanghai, so i can actually post my entries on blogger! just that i can't access my blog itself... =( sounds sad haha! but this means... heh. heh. heh.
these few days had been rather tiring for me... been out walking all day long these 3 days... stiff back =( but so far... feel quite productive... cos been buying and settling quite a lot of things!
for now.. let me just post my previous thoughts when i first arrived in shanghai on 6th jan...
06 Jan 2008 10:37pm
Today's my first day here in Shanghai... Been a really cold and tiring day for me... When i first reached shanghai at around 6am in the morning, it was a freaking -1degrees celcius... and i was just wearing a really thin layer of clothes plus my overcoat... it was the first time i experienced "smoke" coming out of my mouth when i spoke out there in the cold...
Spent the rest of the day trying to fix up the basic necessities in our house while fighting with the bitter cold... one moral i learnt today... when u're cold, the best way out is to exercise, like walking to the "nearby" shopping malls or doing some manual work. once u're heated up, even when the wind blows... wad is it man? lmao~ but at the moment now... it's terribly cold until my muscles are starting to ache... and i really wish i don't have to bathe =( we spent like 1k rmb on bedsheets, detergents, quilts etc... and it was ouch for me cos i was the one paying for everything first... tml i have to remember to get back money from them =X it's scary how fast money goes in front of your eyes... and i need to learn how to manage them properly.. 1k sgd plus my monthly 1.5k rmb... i hope i wouldn't have to resort to drawing from atms here... =X
Now... trying desperately to connect to the wireless connection... but failing numerous times... oh well... must wait until the landlord tells us the account id and password... so in the meantime we were trying to tap onto other people's unsecured wireless networks... but of course the shanghainess aren't dumb... so here i am... rather desperate to talk to those people i left in singapore but with no means to do so...
Need to wake up at 6 tml... i wonder if i can do it... i guess i haven't been sleeping proper even before i left for shanghai... and i haven't bathed! =( can i don't bathe pls? the water is freezing cold.. =(
Some other things that left a terrible impression on me... i was targeted by shanghainese for their scams! *already? oh god* there was this old lady who saw me and my room mates buying loads of things and wanted to chalk up the points from our purchases for her shopping card! alright bah... at least so far i can still tell wad they have in mind... i think it's the scariest when you don't know their motives behind approaching you...
But some things *which i don't know whether i'm proud of* is that... probably i resemble the locals in shanghai! several people spoke to me in shanghainese... and even my friends who came together with me commented that the way i dress is as though i'm one of the locals here... er the comments from my friends i don't know how true that really is... but when the locals start speaking to you in their native language i suppose that's a good sign bah.. so yeaps. my next target is to learn shanghainese and pose off as one of the locals here! lmao~
I didn't really take a lot of photos here... but i hope i can do so tomorrow! for now... all i can think of is how to escape from the biting cold and how in the world am i going to go for the gip group meeting tml... and not forgetting how to get to my workplace!
I miss a lot of people from Singapore... Thanks pansy for your muffins! erms actually i haven't got the chance to eat them yet... but they smell really good! i'm saving them for breakfast tml =) and thanks to sheila shianchi and yin for coming to send me off yesterday night! took some really scandalous photos there bwahahahaha~~ and of course my family... darn i wish i have internet today to let them know i'm alright *except for being extremely cold* and all those who wished me bon voyage and to have a safe and fun trip... =) i don't know how to express my gratitude =) and... =)
ok it sounds stupid... but 6 mths to go in shanghai! jiayous! =) *now why am i even counting down the moment i first step into shanghai? o.O*
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