todae... went for work first thing in the morning... woke up early... could have slept a bit more... nvm... start to prepare liao... going out of house, had an argument wif my mum wif regards to money stuff... den cause delay...
nvm... i rush all the way out... to try to make it on time for my interview... guess wad? on my way... my shoe strap broke. SUPER DUPER SWAY!!! aniwae... somehow i managed to stumble my way to my new company... somehow... by a stroke of luck.. i managed to get past the interview... and guess wad? i started work straight away... -_-
next.... pple brought me to the hr department to borrow shoes... managed to borrow one... feeling.. lucky... that someone actually brings extra shoes to the office.. lolz! but still.. after wad happened in the morning... somehow i still felt 七上八下...
oh yar... aniwae.. now i'm working at mazak... forgot the full name le... but... it's a jap company... quite furnies working wif a japanese boss leh... can understand wad they say a bit only... but dunno how to talk to them in jap.. haha! but aniwae.. todae i learnt a new phrase... hajimashite... i think... means 请多多指教... i think... hahaz~
and after lunch, while i walked back to my office.. i realised i broke the shoe strap of the shoe i borrowed... -_-'''
sighz. this is wad i call.. super sway. -_-
dunno y... it's only the first day of work... but i feel super uneasy in this new company... new faces, new environment... new... company policies... somehow... i started comparing life when i was back in tata precision wif this new life i have here at mazak... started missing the guys back at tata already... haiz... pauline, heng meng, alan, chris, jenny... blah blah blah... sighz~
after work *which dragged here and there* i was almost late for tuition... and kelvin kor had to wait for me so that we could take the same mrt home... haiz~ paiseh... =X been taking u for granted... thankx for being so nice to me while i've been so so mean to u all these while.. =X
aniwae... somehow i managed to drag myself to tuition... and benedict showed attitude to me. and i was like. heys... u're not the only one who's tired and dun wanna do work. i din wanna come to tutor u todae oso... hahaz! but still... managed to tahan through...
super duper tireds now. having a slight headache... never eat medicine for the whole day, not used to new working life, couldn't eat properly, broke two shoe straps in a go... super duper siandeds..
and now my sister who's simply so so pmsy these days decide to pick trouble wif me now. fine. -_-
i guess u're probably not the only one who can't handle stress.
haiz... let's hope a night's sleep can help me now.
22 February 2005
todae... is a rather hectic day for me...
first of all... went to work... tml's my last day at tata precision *that's my company* and pple like alan and heng meng kept bullying me! *sobz~* heng meng tried to steal all my pens from my pencil case and poke fun at me.. den he took my whole tissue pack away... saying that he'll keep it as souvenir... -_-''' *it's quite disgusting to think of the things he'll do wif the tissues, den keep all the tissues as "souvenirs"... gosh.. i'm juz being disgusting here..*
next alan tried to cheat me of my salary... "aiyoh... 小妹妹... ur tuition fees leh? juz 10% will do lar.... me 5%, pauline 5%...." -_-'''
hmms... i dunno whether i'm happy or sad to leave this place... juz when i'm starting to get close to pple like heng meng *hey! though he kept bullying me... i'll find ways to deal wif him if i have the chance... hmph.* and alan and pauline and... all the aunties... the cleaners and the auntie at the canteen... sighz~
think i'll miss the pple at my office.. =X
wanna write loads of thankew letters to them... but i guess i'll not have enuff time... *looks at time... 2333.... and.. GASP!* omg. no time liao... -_-''' shall buy them curry puffs tml and hope they're satisfied wif my... erms.. tuition fees... lolz~
haiz... haven't been able to sleep well last nite cos i keep hearing this buzzing beside my ear... i was dreaming abt me learning erhu.... den muz tiao my yin to b flat... but i hear the sound in my mind was definitely not b flat! so.... i woke up... at 4 am in the morning wif the stupid buzzing in my ear which was... i think "a" note... *but near b flat lar...* and ever since i woke up i can't go back to sleep.... *esp when i only need to wake up at 6.20am.... -_-'''*
super duper tireds now... it's already 1226am in the morning of 23022005 and i'm still here typing blog, trying to write letters, and to fight off the stupid buzzing in my ears... *not forgetting trying to eat my vege soup... eeks~*
sighz... got job interview on thurs... originally wanted to rest a while first b4 working again... but hey.... got job offer... dun take i'll die rotting at home... so... oh well... rest can wait till sat.... *but sat got class gathering... =X* aiyah.. wadeva lar... as the saying goes... boat reach bridge head automatically straight... so... oh well...
geez.. i'm no longer making sense... geez...
first of all... went to work... tml's my last day at tata precision *that's my company* and pple like alan and heng meng kept bullying me! *sobz~* heng meng tried to steal all my pens from my pencil case and poke fun at me.. den he took my whole tissue pack away... saying that he'll keep it as souvenir... -_-''' *it's quite disgusting to think of the things he'll do wif the tissues, den keep all the tissues as "souvenirs"... gosh.. i'm juz being disgusting here..*
next alan tried to cheat me of my salary... "aiyoh... 小妹妹... ur tuition fees leh? juz 10% will do lar.... me 5%, pauline 5%...." -_-'''
hmms... i dunno whether i'm happy or sad to leave this place... juz when i'm starting to get close to pple like heng meng *hey! though he kept bullying me... i'll find ways to deal wif him if i have the chance... hmph.* and alan and pauline and... all the aunties... the cleaners and the auntie at the canteen... sighz~
think i'll miss the pple at my office.. =X
wanna write loads of thankew letters to them... but i guess i'll not have enuff time... *looks at time... 2333.... and.. GASP!* omg. no time liao... -_-''' shall buy them curry puffs tml and hope they're satisfied wif my... erms.. tuition fees... lolz~
haiz... haven't been able to sleep well last nite cos i keep hearing this buzzing beside my ear... i was dreaming abt me learning erhu.... den muz tiao my yin to b flat... but i hear the sound in my mind was definitely not b flat! so.... i woke up... at 4 am in the morning wif the stupid buzzing in my ear which was... i think "a" note... *but near b flat lar...* and ever since i woke up i can't go back to sleep.... *esp when i only need to wake up at 6.20am.... -_-'''*
super duper tireds now... it's already 1226am in the morning of 23022005 and i'm still here typing blog, trying to write letters, and to fight off the stupid buzzing in my ears... *not forgetting trying to eat my vege soup... eeks~*
sighz... got job interview on thurs... originally wanted to rest a while first b4 working again... but hey.... got job offer... dun take i'll die rotting at home... so... oh well... rest can wait till sat.... *but sat got class gathering... =X* aiyah.. wadeva lar... as the saying goes... boat reach bridge head automatically straight... so... oh well...
geez.. i'm no longer making sense... geez...
19 February 2005
18 February 2005
haiz... originally wanted to change my blog layout... but cos of disclaimers from the 9th elsewhere webby... now i cannot use the image for my blog layout... sobz~ and i really tot that the new layout i had in mind was quite nice... sobz~
aniwae... after all those furnie things happened.... i've got no idea how to deal wif all of them...
maybe sleeping helps... or maybe O.R.M.Y can send me a muse to guide me... *though it's supposedly for artists only... ha~*
if u guys read 9th elsewhere u'll get wad i'm talking abt... oh yar... so me being one of their fanatic fans, lemme advertise for them here *though i dun get to use their pic for my blog layout... =S* do go to http://www.9thelsewhere.com/ for a really good treat... the story plot is deep... and it'll touch your heart...
personally i'm awed by how 9th elsewhere has survived for so long, and still surviving well... cos... loads of webmanga artists will lose steam halfway... either this, or their story plot is simply.... simplistic... hahaz~ *opps~ sorry... that's juz my personal opinion.. =S* but 9th elsewhere showed me that there are still good manga which survives online.. =)
okies.. cut abt 9th elsewhere... *notices pple falling asleep in front of their comps*
quite some time ago, i had a nightmare of me encountering two huge dogs at the void deck of my house, and they bit my hand hard... i woke up from that dream in cold sweat...
and guess wad?
todae i was tailed by two huge dogs all the way from west mall to my house void deck...
initially i was juz minding my business... after getting my pay from e2 at west mall, i walked home as usual... den i saw in front of me, these two huge brown dogs... walking along the pavement on my way home... and half wa they crossed the road rather recklessly... initially i was quite intimidated by their huge size... but after that, after they crossed the road, they came to this mini field, and looked extremely happy playing with one another... looking at the two happy dogs, i smiled... and i continued walking my way home...
and guess wad? as i approached my house void deck by walking this rather deserted path, all of a sudden i saw a huge brown dog across the street.... then i started wondering... how come there are so many dogs at my house area todae? i took no notice of the dog.. juz kept walking... next moment, a smaller dog juz popped beside me.. =X it juz went past me like nobody's business... then i started to get scared... cos i had no idea it was behind me...
then i realised... actually these two dogs were the same two dogs i saw earlier... =S
so i turned, and walked to my block void deck le... directly below my house... and i turned around to see the two dogs tagging behind me... that's it man.... i panicked... and i cheong all the way up the nearest staircase, ran to my house... started knocking frantically on the door and scolded my mum for opening the door so late..
okies... the above encounter sounded lame.
but the dream is so vivid... that even now it kinda gimme shudders.. =X
last night i couldn't sleep well again... let's hope things will get better today...
aniwae... after all those furnie things happened.... i've got no idea how to deal wif all of them...
maybe sleeping helps... or maybe O.R.M.Y can send me a muse to guide me... *though it's supposedly for artists only... ha~*
if u guys read 9th elsewhere u'll get wad i'm talking abt... oh yar... so me being one of their fanatic fans, lemme advertise for them here *though i dun get to use their pic for my blog layout... =S* do go to http://www.9thelsewhere.com/ for a really good treat... the story plot is deep... and it'll touch your heart...
personally i'm awed by how 9th elsewhere has survived for so long, and still surviving well... cos... loads of webmanga artists will lose steam halfway... either this, or their story plot is simply.... simplistic... hahaz~ *opps~ sorry... that's juz my personal opinion.. =S* but 9th elsewhere showed me that there are still good manga which survives online.. =)
okies.. cut abt 9th elsewhere... *notices pple falling asleep in front of their comps*
quite some time ago, i had a nightmare of me encountering two huge dogs at the void deck of my house, and they bit my hand hard... i woke up from that dream in cold sweat...
and guess wad?
todae i was tailed by two huge dogs all the way from west mall to my house void deck...
initially i was juz minding my business... after getting my pay from e2 at west mall, i walked home as usual... den i saw in front of me, these two huge brown dogs... walking along the pavement on my way home... and half wa they crossed the road rather recklessly... initially i was quite intimidated by their huge size... but after that, after they crossed the road, they came to this mini field, and looked extremely happy playing with one another... looking at the two happy dogs, i smiled... and i continued walking my way home...
and guess wad? as i approached my house void deck by walking this rather deserted path, all of a sudden i saw a huge brown dog across the street.... then i started wondering... how come there are so many dogs at my house area todae? i took no notice of the dog.. juz kept walking... next moment, a smaller dog juz popped beside me.. =X it juz went past me like nobody's business... then i started to get scared... cos i had no idea it was behind me...
then i realised... actually these two dogs were the same two dogs i saw earlier... =S
so i turned, and walked to my block void deck le... directly below my house... and i turned around to see the two dogs tagging behind me... that's it man.... i panicked... and i cheong all the way up the nearest staircase, ran to my house... started knocking frantically on the door and scolded my mum for opening the door so late..
okies... the above encounter sounded lame.
but the dream is so vivid... that even now it kinda gimme shudders.. =X
last night i couldn't sleep well again... let's hope things will get better today...
17 February 2005
ever since start of 2005.... i've finally truly tasted the 酸甜苦辣 of life...
ever felt fatigue? i tot i had a taste of fatigue when i was back in jc... but once i come out to the working world... "fatigue" in jc seems so small and minute as compared to the exhaustation i face now daily...
and with so little time to rest, u're constantly faced with stress, all sorts of events... and... well, u juz have no stop to it...
even while i sleep, i can't sleep properly... constantly plagued with strange dreams, leaving me feeling lost when i wake up...
maybe it's juz that i haven't gotten used to working life yet...
dun worry abt me ya? i guess it's juz a phase i've gotta go through...
naruto 122's out! but i have no idea where to dl... feeling sad... cos it's liscensed on animesuki... meaning i cannot dl it there le... sobz~ but i love naruto... sighz.. how how how???
i've got a new 9th elsewhere wallpaper!!! maybe i can use it as an image for my new blog layout... hahahaz~ cyc.. u're gonna get ur wish soon.. hehez~ *when i've had enuff rest to start fumbling my blog template again.. ha~*
ever felt fatigue? i tot i had a taste of fatigue when i was back in jc... but once i come out to the working world... "fatigue" in jc seems so small and minute as compared to the exhaustation i face now daily...
and with so little time to rest, u're constantly faced with stress, all sorts of events... and... well, u juz have no stop to it...
even while i sleep, i can't sleep properly... constantly plagued with strange dreams, leaving me feeling lost when i wake up...
maybe it's juz that i haven't gotten used to working life yet...
dun worry abt me ya? i guess it's juz a phase i've gotta go through...
naruto 122's out! but i have no idea where to dl... feeling sad... cos it's liscensed on animesuki... meaning i cannot dl it there le... sobz~ but i love naruto... sighz.. how how how???
i've got a new 9th elsewhere wallpaper!!! maybe i can use it as an image for my new blog layout... hahahaz~ cyc.. u're gonna get ur wish soon.. hehez~ *when i've had enuff rest to start fumbling my blog template again.. ha~*
16 February 2005
reading the tag on my tagboard by aries reminds me of RO... ha~
dun worry abt me... it's juz that watching all the couples on the streets on valentine's day so lovey dovey, all of them pda-ing.... juz makes me feel as though they're juz 炫耀ing their happiness to all the others out there... the lonely and single... so juz tot of that song and put it on my blog.. ha~
so dun worry abt me ya? hehez~
todae's a weird day... supposed to be my last day at my company... woke up late... =S almost missed my company bus... had to run like siao, and everybody was laffing at me.. esp. pauline... quote from her... "你在跑 100米啊？" lolz~
then there was the stupid sotong who tried to be nice to help busy pauline out by helping her fax something when she doesn't even know how to operate the fax machine at all... luckily chris came to my rescue... ha~ *but i can feel myself blushing cos it's so maluating... i tot i spoilt the fax machine.. =S*
and of course... when i was in the toilet, met joyce who asked me to extend my "service" *ahem ahems* for another five more days...
which of course i wun reject...
more furnie things happened, but of course, that's for me to know and u to find out.. ha~ but oh well.... i survived another day... i really tot todae would be my last day... originally wanted to write letters to everybody at the office.... cos really grateful for their help here and there... esp. pauline... my mentor... hahaz~ really really like her! XD and of course there's alan who's always crapping away... lolz~ and oso... chris for always helping me here and there silently... really grateful to u guys... =)
naruto anime is... liscensed by ShoPro Entertainment... which means it's going to be liscensed in america soon... which means... very soon i cannot dl naruto anime online anymore from animesuki.com .... SOBZ!!!! *burst into tears*
okies.. cut the dramama there... i guess i'm juz being crazy for now...
crazily thinking abt... brand new stuff... ha~
feeling sians now... though i've got prince of tennis anime to watch, books to read, and other stuff to do, but somehow... i juz feel like stoning...
let's juz hope weekend will come soon... sighz~
dun worry abt me... it's juz that watching all the couples on the streets on valentine's day so lovey dovey, all of them pda-ing.... juz makes me feel as though they're juz 炫耀ing their happiness to all the others out there... the lonely and single... so juz tot of that song and put it on my blog.. ha~
so dun worry abt me ya? hehez~
todae's a weird day... supposed to be my last day at my company... woke up late... =S almost missed my company bus... had to run like siao, and everybody was laffing at me.. esp. pauline... quote from her... "你在跑 100米啊？" lolz~
then there was the stupid sotong who tried to be nice to help busy pauline out by helping her fax something when she doesn't even know how to operate the fax machine at all... luckily chris came to my rescue... ha~ *but i can feel myself blushing cos it's so maluating... i tot i spoilt the fax machine.. =S*
and of course... when i was in the toilet, met joyce who asked me to extend my "service" *ahem ahems* for another five more days...
which of course i wun reject...
more furnie things happened, but of course, that's for me to know and u to find out.. ha~ but oh well.... i survived another day... i really tot todae would be my last day... originally wanted to write letters to everybody at the office.... cos really grateful for their help here and there... esp. pauline... my mentor... hahaz~ really really like her! XD and of course there's alan who's always crapping away... lolz~ and oso... chris for always helping me here and there silently... really grateful to u guys... =)
naruto anime is... liscensed by ShoPro Entertainment... which means it's going to be liscensed in america soon... which means... very soon i cannot dl naruto anime online anymore from animesuki.com .... SOBZ!!!! *burst into tears*
okies.. cut the dramama there... i guess i'm juz being crazy for now...
crazily thinking abt... brand new stuff... ha~
feeling sians now... though i've got prince of tennis anime to watch, books to read, and other stuff to do, but somehow... i juz feel like stoning...
let's juz hope weekend will come soon... sighz~
14 February 2005
13 February 2005
i admit... i was extremely tired...
be it physically or mentally...
for the past three nights, i couldn't sleep properly at all... it's either i keep waking up in the middle of the night, or i woke up in the middle of the sleep and can't go back to lala land... or simply... i juz stood awake the whole night, juz closing my eyes trying to coax myself to sleep... *which obviously din work...*
spent the whole of my saturday trying to grab a little sleep... took a two hour afternoon nap *which is usually a lot for me* but still, keep waking up in the middle of the nap...
it was only yesterday night.... slept at ard 1130 bah.... sleep all the way till 840... that's ard 9 hours... finally...
i guess everybody has their limits bah... i think i stretched myself too much le... for the past week...until even i myself couldn't take it...
and things juz fell apart..
so now i guess i'll have to try to pick those pieces up and somehow mend it all back together...
it had been... a rather scary week for me... though it's festive season and stuff....
i've seen too many pple throwing their temper ard...
juz on friday... i saw/heard alan scolding his aunt off over the phone without holding back at all... it was... honestly speaking... extremely scary... i have no idea why... but i felt so afraid though he's not scolding me... and i felt a little like crying oso... hahaz~ furnies siaz~ but heyz.. i realised how scary it is for someone to be angry and start losing his/her mind.... so i guess it's kinda a reminder for myself to learn to tolerate more... and to keep my cool in face of problems and stuff... instead of juz letting myself vent my anger by scolding pple off... it doesn't look good, neither does it feel good... no point doing things which does not benefit anybody, i guess...
though sometimes anger helps u achieve things, but i guess... under normal circumstances, this reason usually does not stand...
another new year resolution... to learn to control my emotions and handle them better... not to say that i become a stoic or wad... i admit that last time, i felt that being logical is much better than being emotional... but now... i can't say the same anymore... i thought i was quite stoic last time, but these three years i've proven myself wrong... and i guess i can't change myself as simply as i say, and i guess, i can only slowly adjust but not change my emotional personality totally...
arr~ after my big big breakfast of a chicken and ham pie... now i'm feeling so so full... until i feel like bursting.. =S
hahaz.. the above is crap.. =P
i wanna thank those who showed me concern... pple like my kor... and randy... thankx guys... thankx kor for being there when i needed someone to talk to... and thankx randy for always looking out for me... really appreciate that.. =)
arr... going out liao... cya soon... =)
be it physically or mentally...
for the past three nights, i couldn't sleep properly at all... it's either i keep waking up in the middle of the night, or i woke up in the middle of the sleep and can't go back to lala land... or simply... i juz stood awake the whole night, juz closing my eyes trying to coax myself to sleep... *which obviously din work...*
spent the whole of my saturday trying to grab a little sleep... took a two hour afternoon nap *which is usually a lot for me* but still, keep waking up in the middle of the nap...
it was only yesterday night.... slept at ard 1130 bah.... sleep all the way till 840... that's ard 9 hours... finally...
i guess everybody has their limits bah... i think i stretched myself too much le... for the past week...until even i myself couldn't take it...
and things juz fell apart..
so now i guess i'll have to try to pick those pieces up and somehow mend it all back together...
it had been... a rather scary week for me... though it's festive season and stuff....
i've seen too many pple throwing their temper ard...
juz on friday... i saw/heard alan scolding his aunt off over the phone without holding back at all... it was... honestly speaking... extremely scary... i have no idea why... but i felt so afraid though he's not scolding me... and i felt a little like crying oso... hahaz~ furnies siaz~ but heyz.. i realised how scary it is for someone to be angry and start losing his/her mind.... so i guess it's kinda a reminder for myself to learn to tolerate more... and to keep my cool in face of problems and stuff... instead of juz letting myself vent my anger by scolding pple off... it doesn't look good, neither does it feel good... no point doing things which does not benefit anybody, i guess...
though sometimes anger helps u achieve things, but i guess... under normal circumstances, this reason usually does not stand...
another new year resolution... to learn to control my emotions and handle them better... not to say that i become a stoic or wad... i admit that last time, i felt that being logical is much better than being emotional... but now... i can't say the same anymore... i thought i was quite stoic last time, but these three years i've proven myself wrong... and i guess i can't change myself as simply as i say, and i guess, i can only slowly adjust but not change my emotional personality totally...
arr~ after my big big breakfast of a chicken and ham pie... now i'm feeling so so full... until i feel like bursting.. =S
hahaz.. the above is crap.. =P
i wanna thank those who showed me concern... pple like my kor... and randy... thankx guys... thankx kor for being there when i needed someone to talk to... and thankx randy for always looking out for me... really appreciate that.. =)
arr... going out liao... cya soon... =)
11 February 2005
i couldn't sleep again this morning/last nite...
supposed to wake up at 6.20 to go for work... ended up waking up at 5.30... tried going back to sleep, but couldn't...
in the end i ended up going to work looking like a zombie...
tried to bai nian to my collegues *in hope of getting ang baos*.... got one from alan and pauline each... they're so nice! XD
*kinda feel bad that i'm qiao-ing their money... hehez~*
so many things to do.... yet i dunno whether i can tahan all the way...
let's hope somehow i'll stay awake until i finish wad i have to do...
supposed to wake up at 6.20 to go for work... ended up waking up at 5.30... tried going back to sleep, but couldn't...
in the end i ended up going to work looking like a zombie...
tried to bai nian to my collegues *in hope of getting ang baos*.... got one from alan and pauline each... they're so nice! XD
*kinda feel bad that i'm qiao-ing their money... hehez~*
so many things to do.... yet i dunno whether i can tahan all the way...
let's hope somehow i'll stay awake until i finish wad i have to do...
10 February 2005
had a chat wif my aunt juz now... early in the morning... surprisingly, the two of us clicked well... and we started crapping along wif each other... lolz~
maybe i open up to those i'm not so close to more...
what to do?
i've lost my way...
wad's the thing i've forgotten?
wad's the thing i'm looking for?
my fear's gone now... replaced by... nothingness...
is this wad i'm looking for then?
maybe i open up to those i'm not so close to more...
what to do?
i've lost my way...
wad's the thing i've forgotten?
wad's the thing i'm looking for?
my fear's gone now... replaced by... nothingness...
is this wad i'm looking for then?
失眠
now i think i look like a walking corpse...
i can't go back to sleep...
had a short dream juz now... of comics... and i saw kelvin and pansy in my dreams... lolz~
but when i woke up, can't go back to sleep...
heard my mum chatting loudly to her friends on the phone...
heard my brother hurrying to the living room to play his comp games...
and me? drifting and drifting... and i actually drifted to my comp.... lolz~
is my comp my best friend now? lolz~
i wanna go back to sleep...
let me continue dreaming...
i dun wanna wake up...
i can't go back to sleep...
had a short dream juz now... of comics... and i saw kelvin and pansy in my dreams... lolz~
but when i woke up, can't go back to sleep...
heard my mum chatting loudly to her friends on the phone...
heard my brother hurrying to the living room to play his comp games...
and me? drifting and drifting... and i actually drifted to my comp.... lolz~
is my comp my best friend now? lolz~
i wanna go back to sleep...
let me continue dreaming...
i dun wanna wake up...
09 February 2005
happy chinese new year to me.
i know... it's chinese new year.. i'm supposed to be happy...
but somehow, even if u want me to, it's not simply an issue of whether u want to or not.
pls... dun make promises u can't keep...
cos... i can't handle the disappointment when promises are broken...
but somehow, even if u want me to, it's not simply an issue of whether u want to or not.
pls... dun make promises u can't keep...
cos... i can't handle the disappointment when promises are broken...
08 February 2005
komenasai...
komenasai...
i guess i juz dun understand how u feel... juz like how u dun understand me...
i'm really sorry for juz rattling off like that...
take carez... and enjoy ur new year... =)
i guess i juz dun understand how u feel... juz like how u dun understand me...
i'm really sorry for juz rattling off like that...
take carez... and enjoy ur new year... =)
hate
i hate myself.
i hate myself for being unable to say no.
i hate myself for getting jealous so easily.
i hate myself for making u worry abt me.
i hate myself for being so crazy abt u.
i hate myself for leaving halfway.
i hate myself for waiting for u to call back.
i hate myself for ruining the festive mood.
which obviously u din.
i hate myself for being unable to control my emotions.
i hate myself for getting so upset.
i hate myself for being so weak.
juz because of u.
i hate myself for being so irresponsible.
i hate myself for being so hard to get along wif.
i hate myself for being so unreasonable.
i hate myself for being overly suspicious.
i hate myself for being such an unfilial daughter.
i hate myself for being unable to forget those ard u.
all in all... i hate myself.
i hate myself for being unable to say no.
i hate myself for getting jealous so easily.
i hate myself for making u worry abt me.
i hate myself for being so crazy abt u.
i hate myself for leaving halfway.
i hate myself for waiting for u to call back.
i hate myself for ruining the festive mood.
which obviously u din.
i hate myself for being unable to control my emotions.
i hate myself for getting so upset.
i hate myself for being so weak.
juz because of u.
i hate myself for being so irresponsible.
i hate myself for being so hard to get along wif.
i hate myself for being so unreasonable.
i hate myself for being overly suspicious.
i hate myself for being such an unfilial daughter.
i hate myself for being unable to forget those ard u.
all in all... i hate myself.
an angry sotong
y issit that i'm feeling so pissed now?
y do i feel so upset when i'm the one being kept in the dark?
and y does anger well up in me when i find out that "secret"?
u probably did it on purpose.
it's hurting so much until my head hurts.
am i going to continue to keep quiet?
and let u step onto my head one day or another?
u did it on purpose.
guess u simply convieniently forgot. ha.
y do i feel so upset when i'm the one being kept in the dark?
and y does anger well up in me when i find out that "secret"?
u probably did it on purpose.
it's hurting so much until my head hurts.
am i going to continue to keep quiet?
and let u step onto my head one day or another?
u did it on purpose.
guess u simply convieniently forgot. ha.
as i sat totally awake on my chair, eating tang yuans my mum made for me... a few moments ago i was in a total bliss... eating the sweet seaseme tang yuan *my fav~*, reading this new comic i started on called "first love"... thinking of the things i should do tonite *instead of sleeping... ha~* i juz read my frienz blogs and realised how terrible things are...
and now i wonder if some of the things i did are right...
why issit that i din sense anything when i came into contact wif u?
juz feeling like i'm such a lousy friend... ha~
i shouldn't have tried to give advice when i know nothing abt the whole situation...
guess the only thing i can do is to keep my peace and be their "pillar of strength" when they need me...
cny eve le! but juz now went for 4/11 dinner at swensons *again~* and ate more ice cream.... on my way back i was coughing like siao... guess tonites even if i tried to sleep i can't... cos i'll either cough until i die... or i cough until i wake my sis up which is a nono... or.. well... i can't think of the other options now.. but.. yar... lolz...
to this special someone... sorry i din reply to ur sms the moment u sent to me... paiseh... =X
i really really miss u...
juz wanna say i'm glad to receive ur sms... though it was kinda unexpected... =X that's y i was reading comics... went to bathe... den came out to check phone.. by then it's already 1hr plus after u sent the message.. =X
glad u're safe and sound...
hope it wasn't too tough...
for now... juz wanna say... happy new year to everybody... may u guys get loads of ang paos... and pray that u guys dun fall sick *and start coughing like me.. =S* enjoy urselves on this festive season! XD
and now i wonder if some of the things i did are right...
why issit that i din sense anything when i came into contact wif u?
juz feeling like i'm such a lousy friend... ha~
i shouldn't have tried to give advice when i know nothing abt the whole situation...
guess the only thing i can do is to keep my peace and be their "pillar of strength" when they need me...
cny eve le! but juz now went for 4/11 dinner at swensons *again~* and ate more ice cream.... on my way back i was coughing like siao... guess tonites even if i tried to sleep i can't... cos i'll either cough until i die... or i cough until i wake my sis up which is a nono... or.. well... i can't think of the other options now.. but.. yar... lolz...
to this special someone... sorry i din reply to ur sms the moment u sent to me... paiseh... =X
i really really miss u...
juz wanna say i'm glad to receive ur sms... though it was kinda unexpected... =X that's y i was reading comics... went to bathe... den came out to check phone.. by then it's already 1hr plus after u sent the message.. =X
glad u're safe and sound...
hope it wasn't too tough...
for now... juz wanna say... happy new year to everybody... may u guys get loads of ang paos... and pray that u guys dun fall sick *and start coughing like me.. =S* enjoy urselves on this festive season! XD
06 February 2005
...
juz early in the morning.. someone who's extremely kaypo decided to probe me into my personal life the moment he saw me online... *and i see that army life has made him more kaypo*... talk abt being extremely direct... and so i simply directly told him that it's a lousy way to try to get info from someone... ha~
guess i'm not my usual self... ha~
had cereal for breakfast todae... woke up super late todae at 9... *well... that's as compared to my usual 6.20 everyday i go for work...* honestly i would have loved to sleep till 12 noon... but heyz... wish not granted... lolz~
got loads of stuff which i have to cheong now... =X and stuff to settle.. like... spring cleaning!!! =S hate to spring clean cos it means i have to go rearrange the clothes in my wardrobe, go arrange my files.... scrub the floors... =S *and i mean i've got enuff sorting jobs at work already... =S* so that's y i've been trying very very hard to run away from these... ha~
this morning my lan cable juz konk out on me... =S and i got kinda frustrated *cos haven't eat breakfast yet, wanna have more sleep... ha~* silly me larz... dun even know how to operate digital multimeter to test whether the lan cable working or nots.. lolz~ finally after a long lesson from my dad... managed to realise that the cable's kinda faulty.. so changed one and here i am, crapping away here...
have been having rashes for a few days... they're itching like siao.... think it's a result of me eating those hot spicy crispy cuttlefish... *while i'm coughing away oso... ha~* so now i guess i shan't touch it anymore... since not only it 以毒攻毒 wif my cough, it oso give me the itchy and irritating and make-me-look-not-nice rashes... *eh... ignore the last part abt the rashes... lolz~*
realised that i've changed... previously i was kinda excited abt going class gatherings.... but somehow this enthusiasm faded off... probably cos of my work, i feel so so so stressed until i rather go home and slack... and to spend time wif my family more... and each time i go out wif frienz i'll spend loads... so frienz out there trying to jio me to go class gatherings... pls understand that i have my difficulties, especially wif respect to finance... cos... though i've got my pay.. it goes straight into my bank account, and my debit card hasn't arrived for me to start spending....
but but but... there's one outing i'm kinda looking forward to... that's the outing on mon.... though it's going to be at swensons *again~ i've been eating there for twice this month already* i really really miss 4/11 devilz~!!! hehez...
and juz yesterday... in my conversation with weijie...
Weijie: i wish i were back in tekong
me : now?
me : =X
Weijie : yah
Weijie : =(
me : weekend leh... =X
Weijie : at least got ppl
me : now dun have meh?
Weijie: my social life is zero now.
me : hmms..
Weijie : dun you feel lonely?
me : there are always pple around u
me : it's only whether u open ur heart to these pple or not
y issit that i feel i'm juz trying to console myself?
dunno whether how true this statement is... but i guess... it's still true to a certain extent... lolz~
somehow... though i kinda miss work... i dun wanna go back to work now... ha~
cny coming soon! but i'm still coughing like siao... =S cannot anyhow eat pineapple tarts, cuttlefish, aiyah.. all those nice nice food.. esp... bagua!!!! *sobz~* so for todae and tml i'm going to become a 水桶 and start 灌ing water like siao... and pray that i get better by tues... hehez~
guess i'm not my usual self... ha~
had cereal for breakfast todae... woke up super late todae at 9... *well... that's as compared to my usual 6.20 everyday i go for work...* honestly i would have loved to sleep till 12 noon... but heyz... wish not granted... lolz~
got loads of stuff which i have to cheong now... =X and stuff to settle.. like... spring cleaning!!! =S hate to spring clean cos it means i have to go rearrange the clothes in my wardrobe, go arrange my files.... scrub the floors... =S *and i mean i've got enuff sorting jobs at work already... =S* so that's y i've been trying very very hard to run away from these... ha~
this morning my lan cable juz konk out on me... =S and i got kinda frustrated *cos haven't eat breakfast yet, wanna have more sleep... ha~* silly me larz... dun even know how to operate digital multimeter to test whether the lan cable working or nots.. lolz~ finally after a long lesson from my dad... managed to realise that the cable's kinda faulty.. so changed one and here i am, crapping away here...
have been having rashes for a few days... they're itching like siao.... think it's a result of me eating those hot spicy crispy cuttlefish... *while i'm coughing away oso... ha~* so now i guess i shan't touch it anymore... since not only it 以毒攻毒 wif my cough, it oso give me the itchy and irritating and make-me-look-not-nice rashes... *eh... ignore the last part abt the rashes... lolz~*
realised that i've changed... previously i was kinda excited abt going class gatherings.... but somehow this enthusiasm faded off... probably cos of my work, i feel so so so stressed until i rather go home and slack... and to spend time wif my family more... and each time i go out wif frienz i'll spend loads... so frienz out there trying to jio me to go class gatherings... pls understand that i have my difficulties, especially wif respect to finance... cos... though i've got my pay.. it goes straight into my bank account, and my debit card hasn't arrived for me to start spending....
but but but... there's one outing i'm kinda looking forward to... that's the outing on mon.... though it's going to be at swensons *again~ i've been eating there for twice this month already* i really really miss 4/11 devilz~!!! hehez...
and juz yesterday... in my conversation with weijie...
Weijie: i wish i were back in tekong
me : now?
me : =X
Weijie : yah
Weijie : =(
me : weekend leh... =X
Weijie : at least got ppl
me : now dun have meh?
Weijie: my social life is zero now.
me : hmms..
Weijie : dun you feel lonely?
me : there are always pple around u
me : it's only whether u open ur heart to these pple or not
y issit that i feel i'm juz trying to console myself?
dunno whether how true this statement is... but i guess... it's still true to a certain extent... lolz~
somehow... though i kinda miss work... i dun wanna go back to work now... ha~
cny coming soon! but i'm still coughing like siao... =S cannot anyhow eat pineapple tarts, cuttlefish, aiyah.. all those nice nice food.. esp... bagua!!!! *sobz~* so for todae and tml i'm going to become a 水桶 and start 灌ing water like siao... and pray that i get better by tues... hehez~
05 February 2005
change.
ever since i started working... i realised that i've become extremely selfish...
maybe this is the real me bah.... or maybe it's juz that... once i came out to a totally unfamiliar world.... i've lost my original self...
but.. wad's my original self anyway?
当你感到失落的时候，让人看到你的弱点时，他人便会毫无保留的望你身上踩，蹂躏你。而当你继续保持沉默，不愿走出自己的悲伤，你也就永远只能成为他人的垫脚石，一事无成，或许还会被别人越压越扁，永远也无法翻身。
这一番话听起来好耳熟。。。哈~
okies.... cut the philosophy stuff out...
after work todae *which is getting more and more stressful esp in the face of the cny hols* me went to ... well... essentially i spent the rest of my day shopping... looking for nice wrapping paper, clothes... blah blah blah....
spent time wif my family... realised that i haven't been hanging out wif them enuff... that's y pushed away co and class gatherings... hahaz...
dunno whether i'll get cursed by this though... ha~
den yesterday treated sheila swensons.... lolz~ me eat ice cream... eat until i start coughing non stop... hahahaz.. this is wad we call 以毒攻毒... lolz~
and todae for lunch i ate more fried stuff... that's y i'm coughing even more jialats than b4... =S
haiz...3 more days.... juz another 3 more days to hang in there.... though... i already buay tahan le... sighz~
i wan my hols!!!!!
maybe this is the real me bah.... or maybe it's juz that... once i came out to a totally unfamiliar world.... i've lost my original self...
but.. wad's my original self anyway?
当你感到失落的时候，让人看到你的弱点时，他人便会毫无保留的望你身上踩，蹂躏你。而当你继续保持沉默，不愿走出自己的悲伤，你也就永远只能成为他人的垫脚石，一事无成，或许还会被别人越压越扁，永远也无法翻身。
这一番话听起来好耳熟。。。哈~
okies.... cut the philosophy stuff out...
after work todae *which is getting more and more stressful esp in the face of the cny hols* me went to ... well... essentially i spent the rest of my day shopping... looking for nice wrapping paper, clothes... blah blah blah....
spent time wif my family... realised that i haven't been hanging out wif them enuff... that's y pushed away co and class gatherings... hahaz...
dunno whether i'll get cursed by this though... ha~
den yesterday treated sheila swensons.... lolz~ me eat ice cream... eat until i start coughing non stop... hahahaz.. this is wad we call 以毒攻毒... lolz~
and todae for lunch i ate more fried stuff... that's y i'm coughing even more jialats than b4... =S
haiz...3 more days.... juz another 3 more days to hang in there.... though... i already buay tahan le... sighz~
i wan my hols!!!!!
04 February 2005
slacking away...
working now... and slacking away... alan is sick todae and pauline is chatting away on the phone... me? i'm sitting right at the end of the office, hiding at one corner where pauline can't see my comp screen, typing blog here... *hope she doesn't find out... or later she'll gimme loads of work... =S*
dreamt of u last nite...
but apparently she's still chatting away... so... u can't blame me for slacking yar? :P
u gave me the strength to continue working now...
well... it's really stressful at work nowadays... todae pauline's late, alan's sick took mc not here... so left me and heng meng early in the morning... but heng meng's out most of the time...
i wonder if u dreamt of me last nite too...
pauline juz ended her chat.. =X
even if u din... it's alrights...
and when i have stuff i dunno how to do, now she doesn't wanna answer me... :'(
i juz wanna tell u to jiayouz... n hang in there...
everybody is stressed... so am i... =S
somehow, though... i wish that the dream could last...
really dun feel like working now.. =X
shall be back... after work... and after treating sheila...
before i go.. i juz wanna complain a little more...
this comp is so so so darn slow!!! haiz~
now that i'm all alone in the office again, i can type as fast and as loudly as i want.. hehehez~ finally i got back my amazing and shuang typing speed... cos now that i'm working, no longer typing words, typing loads of numbers... so typing is darn slow le... makes me feel so bu shuang... hahaz.. so lemme type somemore so that i feel shuang... hehehez~
nan2 de2 i'm alone here... let's see... maybe i can go on msn laters.. ha~
so the whole point of my entry here is juz to show off how siandeds i am by work... and... how i hope that time will pass quickly... and that the cny hols will come soon... =X
and for me to see u in person soon...
dreamt of u last nite...
but apparently she's still chatting away... so... u can't blame me for slacking yar? :P
u gave me the strength to continue working now...
well... it's really stressful at work nowadays... todae pauline's late, alan's sick took mc not here... so left me and heng meng early in the morning... but heng meng's out most of the time...
i wonder if u dreamt of me last nite too...
pauline juz ended her chat.. =X
even if u din... it's alrights...
and when i have stuff i dunno how to do, now she doesn't wanna answer me... :'(
i juz wanna tell u to jiayouz... n hang in there...
everybody is stressed... so am i... =S
somehow, though... i wish that the dream could last...
really dun feel like working now.. =X
shall be back... after work... and after treating sheila...
before i go.. i juz wanna complain a little more...
this comp is so so so darn slow!!! haiz~
now that i'm all alone in the office again, i can type as fast and as loudly as i want.. hehehez~ finally i got back my amazing and shuang typing speed... cos now that i'm working, no longer typing words, typing loads of numbers... so typing is darn slow le... makes me feel so bu shuang... hahaz.. so lemme type somemore so that i feel shuang... hehehez~
nan2 de2 i'm alone here... let's see... maybe i can go on msn laters.. ha~
so the whole point of my entry here is juz to show off how siandeds i am by work... and... how i hope that time will pass quickly... and that the cny hols will come soon... =X
and for me to see u in person soon...
03 February 2005
bad day..
okies... let's see...
i started off my day.. wif... being late.
well, not late larz... almost late i would stress... juz that early in the morning i felt extremely lathargic, dun wanna get off bed... unwilling to open my eyes *especially when they're kinda swollen as though i cried the night before, which i din... ha~* and i took a long long time to get out of my house.. like... 5 mins later than usual....
and this resulted in me running like a mad woman early in the morning to try to catch the bus...
and get laffed at by everybody waiting for the company bus... =X
thankx again chris for helping me here and there... =)
pauline seems to be getting sick too.... the "virus" me and alan are spreading is really powerful... ha~
and speaking of alan... todae he juz deh to me... -_- a big guy so much older than me come and deh to me juz cos of a bar of chocolate... omg... -_-
i hope i wun become liddat.. -_-'''
tuition wasn't good as well... i made benedict cry again.... cos... he doesn't know how to do his chinese li jie wen da.... den become super stressed.... dun get wad i'm trying to tell him and stuff.... so he started crying....
now i'm starting to wonder if i'm the material to be a tutor... haiz~
bathing now.... tataz~
i started off my day.. wif... being late.
well, not late larz... almost late i would stress... juz that early in the morning i felt extremely lathargic, dun wanna get off bed... unwilling to open my eyes *especially when they're kinda swollen as though i cried the night before, which i din... ha~* and i took a long long time to get out of my house.. like... 5 mins later than usual....
and this resulted in me running like a mad woman early in the morning to try to catch the bus...
and get laffed at by everybody waiting for the company bus... =X
thankx again chris for helping me here and there... =)
pauline seems to be getting sick too.... the "virus" me and alan are spreading is really powerful... ha~
and speaking of alan... todae he juz deh to me... -_- a big guy so much older than me come and deh to me juz cos of a bar of chocolate... omg... -_-
i hope i wun become liddat.. -_-'''
tuition wasn't good as well... i made benedict cry again.... cos... he doesn't know how to do his chinese li jie wen da.... den become super stressed.... dun get wad i'm trying to tell him and stuff.... so he started crying....
now i'm starting to wonder if i'm the material to be a tutor... haiz~
bathing now.... tataz~
02 February 2005
issit right or wrong?
hmms... probably, when it comes to work, it doesn't pay to be helpful or full of initiative...
take todae at work for eg... i finished my stuff, pauline wasn't ard to assign me more tasks... so i turned around to ask alan *not allen... ha~ finally sorta confirm le.. :P* whether he needs help... so he asked me to help him write payment notice, put them in envelopes plus the respective cheques.... and after i finished that, he told me that i could help him write the cheques myself...
i admit that initially i had some reservations abt this... but i din question him whether it's appropriate.. afterall, it's juz like wad he said bah.... it's juz writing a cheque, nothing special abt it *probably cos he's been writing cheque like.. his whole life?* so i juz started my new task...
and guess wad? my superior joyce dropped by my office to look for alan.... and she saw me writing the cheque...
she din say a thing when i was writing...
next, she went up to her own office, rang up alan and told alan off for assigning me to write cheque.. next she rang up pauline to get her to assign me other stuff to do...
a little pissed abt this cos... if she din wan me to write the cheque *cos it's money involved* she could tell me straight in the face... but now she's "using me to tell other pple off" *quoted from chris, translated from chinese to eng* which makes me a little upset.... i'm oso partially at fault, but she din scold me at all... and tried to pretend that nothing happened, and that i din do anything wrong...
but i feel that i'm oso somewhat at fault...
i mean, if i haven't be so so so enthusiastic, alan wouldn't have asked me to write the cheque...
and it's all cos of my enthu-ness, and now pauline and alan are in trouble...
haiz~ horrible me... =S
so on my way home... chris who was on the same train as i was tried to explain to me how things work.... he said i am still young, so joyce couldn't scold me cos i dunno loads of stuff...
but... i mean.. so wad? age doesn't really matter when u're thrown out to the ocean to survive on ur own... similarly for working in the society...
but then again... i dun think i'll have felt better if joyce told me off straight in my face... =S
geez... i'm full of contradictions....
aniwae... todae... glad that chris' back to his happy cheery self... =)
and i'm quite glad that i managed to keep myself busy the whole day at the office...
and now i hope that pauline wouldn't be so stressed *though it can't be helped when her two bosses are breathing down her neck for reports, and there's me bugging her for work.. =S*
and for alan and chris to get well...
and for pauline not to fall sick...
for u to be doing well deep in the jungles....
and for u to be safe...
and for me to survive tomolo...
take todae at work for eg... i finished my stuff, pauline wasn't ard to assign me more tasks... so i turned around to ask alan *not allen... ha~ finally sorta confirm le.. :P* whether he needs help... so he asked me to help him write payment notice, put them in envelopes plus the respective cheques.... and after i finished that, he told me that i could help him write the cheques myself...
i admit that initially i had some reservations abt this... but i din question him whether it's appropriate.. afterall, it's juz like wad he said bah.... it's juz writing a cheque, nothing special abt it *probably cos he's been writing cheque like.. his whole life?* so i juz started my new task...
and guess wad? my superior joyce dropped by my office to look for alan.... and she saw me writing the cheque...
she din say a thing when i was writing...
next, she went up to her own office, rang up alan and told alan off for assigning me to write cheque.. next she rang up pauline to get her to assign me other stuff to do...
a little pissed abt this cos... if she din wan me to write the cheque *cos it's money involved* she could tell me straight in the face... but now she's "using me to tell other pple off" *quoted from chris, translated from chinese to eng* which makes me a little upset.... i'm oso partially at fault, but she din scold me at all... and tried to pretend that nothing happened, and that i din do anything wrong...
but i feel that i'm oso somewhat at fault...
i mean, if i haven't be so so so enthusiastic, alan wouldn't have asked me to write the cheque...
and it's all cos of my enthu-ness, and now pauline and alan are in trouble...
haiz~ horrible me... =S
so on my way home... chris who was on the same train as i was tried to explain to me how things work.... he said i am still young, so joyce couldn't scold me cos i dunno loads of stuff...
but... i mean.. so wad? age doesn't really matter when u're thrown out to the ocean to survive on ur own... similarly for working in the society...
but then again... i dun think i'll have felt better if joyce told me off straight in my face... =S
geez... i'm full of contradictions....
aniwae... todae... glad that chris' back to his happy cheery self... =)
and i'm quite glad that i managed to keep myself busy the whole day at the office...
and now i hope that pauline wouldn't be so stressed *though it can't be helped when her two bosses are breathing down her neck for reports, and there's me bugging her for work.. =S*
and for alan and chris to get well...
and for pauline not to fall sick...
for u to be doing well deep in the jungles....
and for u to be safe...
and for me to survive tomolo...
31 January 2005
juz for fun...
saw this on a random blog... juz tot it's fun to put this here... =)
RULES: 1. Put your birth month in an entry.2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.3. Bold the four that best apply to you.4. Put all twelve months under a journal cut.
*my comments are in brackets*
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. *actually.. yesh... hahaz~ how did u know? :P*
Loves those who loves them. *of course... or else hate them mehz? =X*
Loves to takes things at the center. *eh... how abt... donuts?*
Inner and physical beauty. *me? wad beauty?*
Lies but doesn't pretend. *er... i dunno abt this...*
Gets angry often. *ask kelvin*
Treats friends importantly. *i guess so... =)*
Always making friends. *er.... dunno abt this... hahahahaz~*
Easily hurt but recovers easily. *easily hurt yes... but... recovers easily? dun think so...*
Daydreamer. *hahaz... of course.*
Opinionated. *wad's the meaning of this word? =X*
Does not care of what others think. *yeah right.*
Emotional. *er... hahaz... those who know me well would know... ha~*
Decisive. *ha... ha... ha~*
Strong clairvoyance. *eh... i'm only a sotong lehz.... dun even know wad's going round me.. =S*
Loves to travel, the arts and literature. *love arts n maybe lit... but dun really like to travel cos lazy to move my heavy butt... ha~*
Touchy and easily jealous. *ahems. ask... someone... ha~*
Concerned. *oh well... i dunno abt this...*
Loves outdoors. *er... provided... there's... VOLLEYBALL!!! XD*
Just and fair. *eh.... i hope? =P*
Spendthrift. *er... unfortunately... yes... but but BUT i stress i'm not spendthrift when i buy stuff for myself using my own money.... hahahahahahaz~*
Easily influenced. *yes.... unfortunately... =S*
Easily loses confidence. *yesh... unfortunately... guess it's something i have to change... ask someone.. ha~*
Loves children. *yar... sorta love them... =)*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
JUNE:Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY:Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST:Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
NOVEMBER:Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
RULES: 1. Put your birth month in an entry.2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.3. Bold the four that best apply to you.4. Put all twelve months under a journal cut.
*my comments are in brackets*
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. *actually.. yesh... hahaz~ how did u know? :P*
Loves those who loves them. *of course... or else hate them mehz? =X*
Loves to takes things at the center. *eh... how abt... donuts?*
Lies but doesn't pretend. *er... i dunno abt this...*
Gets angry often. *ask kelvin*
Treats friends importantly. *i guess so... =)*
Easily hurt but recovers easily. *easily hurt yes... but... recovers easily? dun think so...*
Daydreamer. *hahaz... of course.*
Opinionated. *wad's the meaning of this word? =X*
Emotional. *er... hahaz... those who know me well would know... ha~*
Loves to travel, the arts and literature. *love arts n maybe lit... but dun really like to travel cos lazy to move my heavy butt... ha~*
Touchy and easily jealous. *ahems. ask... someone... ha~*
Concerned. *oh well... i dunno abt this...*
Loves outdoors. *er... provided... there's... VOLLEYBALL!!! XD*
Just and fair. *eh.... i hope? =P*
Spendthrift. *er... unfortunately... yes... but but BUT i stress i'm not spendthrift when i buy stuff for myself using my own money.... hahahahahahaz~*
Easily influenced. *yes.... unfortunately... =S*
Easily loses confidence. *yesh... unfortunately... guess it's something i have to change... ask someone.. ha~*
Loves children. *yar... sorta love them... =)*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
JUNE:Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY:Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST:Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
NOVEMBER:Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
30 January 2005
就是爱你
就是爱你
歌手:陶喆 专辑:太平盛世
我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐
像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我翅膀
让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意我也可以
付出一切也不会可惜
就在一起看时间流逝
要记得我们相爱的方式
就是爱你爱着你
有悲有喜有你
平淡也有了意义
就是爱你爱着你
甜蜜又安心
那种感觉就是你
我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐
像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我的翅膀
让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意真的愿意
付出所有也要保护你
oh 在一起时间继续流逝
请记得我有多么的爱你
oh 就是爱你爱着你
不弃不离
不在意一路有多少风雨
就是爱你爱着你
放在你手心
灿烂的幸福全给你
oh 就是爱你爱着你
我都愿意
就是爱你爱着你
要我们在一起
歌手:陶喆 专辑:太平盛世
我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐
像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我翅膀
让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意我也可以
付出一切也不会可惜
就在一起看时间流逝
要记得我们相爱的方式
就是爱你爱着你
有悲有喜有你
平淡也有了意义
就是爱你爱着你
甜蜜又安心
那种感觉就是你
我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐
像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我的翅膀
让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意真的愿意
付出所有也要保护你
oh 在一起时间继续流逝
请记得我有多么的爱你
oh 就是爱你爱着你
不弃不离
不在意一路有多少风雨
就是爱你爱着你
放在你手心
灿烂的幸福全给你
oh 就是爱你爱着你
我都愿意
就是爱你爱着你
要我们在一起
爱我还是他
爱我还是他
歌手:陶喆 专辑:太平盛世
黑暗中的我们都没有说话
你只想回家
不想你回家
寂寞深的像海太让人害怕
温柔你的手
轻轻揉着我的发
你的眉眼说你好渴望我拥抱
你身体却在拼命逃
但欲望在燃烧
你爱我还是他
是不是真的他要比我好
你为谁在挣扎
爱我还是他
就说出你想说的真心话
你到底要跟我还是他
爱爱爱......
这是不是命运对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法
恨你也没办法
陷在这个漩涡只想挣脱它
拉住你的手
却让我也被拖下
你的眉眼说你不渴望我拥抱
每当爱变成了煎熬
你就开始要逃
你爱我还是他
是不是我可以做他的好
你不再挣扎
爱我还是他
我宁愿听到残忍的回答
也不要再被耍
你爱我还是他
我为你找了一百个理由
我就是那么傻
爱我还是他
是否沉默代替你的回答
我应该明白吗
爱我还是他噢
你都已看不到我们的好
我还会心牵挂
你爱我还是他
是否沉默就是你的回答
我们都别挣扎
去爱他
歌手:陶喆 专辑:太平盛世
黑暗中的我们都没有说话
你只想回家
不想你回家
寂寞深的像海太让人害怕
温柔你的手
轻轻揉着我的发
你的眉眼说你好渴望我拥抱
你身体却在拼命逃
但欲望在燃烧
你爱我还是他
是不是真的他要比我好
你为谁在挣扎
爱我还是他
就说出你想说的真心话
你到底要跟我还是他
爱爱爱......
这是不是命运对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法
恨你也没办法
陷在这个漩涡只想挣脱它
拉住你的手
却让我也被拖下
你的眉眼说你不渴望我拥抱
每当爱变成了煎熬
你就开始要逃
你爱我还是他
是不是我可以做他的好
你不再挣扎
爱我还是他
我宁愿听到残忍的回答
也不要再被耍
你爱我还是他
我为你找了一百个理由
我就是那么傻
爱我还是他
是否沉默代替你的回答
我应该明白吗
爱我还是他噢
你都已看不到我们的好
我还会心牵挂
你爱我还是他
是否沉默就是你的回答
我们都别挣扎
去爱他
29 January 2005
reflections for the week...
after an extremely eventful week... i've realised that...
i dun wanna get angry again....
ask kelvin... he had a taste of my temper *which isn't good at all... =X*
and once i'm angry... i can no longer control myself using logic... and i'll start to get extremely irrational...
and once that happens... i can no longer be the gentle person i am.... *or so i hope*
so... i dun wanna turn into the other "me".... not again, as far as possible.. =X
and... i wanna tell u... sorry that i keep questioning u... it's cos of my... fear... =X *wonder if u'll ever read this... hahahaz~* when i'm afraid.... my emotions take over me and i no longer become rational juz as above... and so.... i start to question.... i know that no one likes to be questioned *wif the probable exception of teachers bah*.... but... when that happens the logical and considerate side of me juz evaporates away...
wait. wad considerate side of me.. =X
aniwae... guess wad? i'm eating chips now... hahahahaz.. and my throat hasn't really fully recovered yet... todae finally my voice is slightly back.. can start to sing song again without going off key so much.... hahahaz... still coughing though.... :P but... who cares... :P
thinking abt the past again... munching the hot and spicy fried sotong... *which makes me wana gulp down loads of water... cos so hot!!!* reading naruto manga now... now got new chapter!!! makes me feel so so so happy.... XD
yet... now that i've finished reading... a new feeling of.. siandedness falls over me... =X
feeling tireds.... of all those things happening to me this past week... and no idea of whether it's going to continue the coming week...
waiting for something else to happen? i dunno... but... i dare not presume any more... cos... when u start to presume, the higher your hopes get... and.. the greater ur fall will be when u realised that u're simply assuming too much...
and once again... that's y i'll question... so that... i am sure... that i'm not presuming... and to make myself know wad reality actually is... before i start to think too much... start to be too confident... until... once i'm on cloud nine, but i have to get down... i'll have to make a heavy fall...
so... it's all an effort to protect myself bah...
though that's really.. selfish? of me... =X
once again... i shall presume that u wun see all these here...
the upcoming week would be another tiring and tedious one... dunno whether i can survive it again in one piece... but i guess... i have no choice but to face it like a wo-man... =X
i dun wanna get angry again....
ask kelvin... he had a taste of my temper *which isn't good at all... =X*
and once i'm angry... i can no longer control myself using logic... and i'll start to get extremely irrational...
and once that happens... i can no longer be the gentle person i am.... *or so i hope*
so... i dun wanna turn into the other "me".... not again, as far as possible.. =X
and... i wanna tell u... sorry that i keep questioning u... it's cos of my... fear... =X *wonder if u'll ever read this... hahahaz~* when i'm afraid.... my emotions take over me and i no longer become rational juz as above... and so.... i start to question.... i know that no one likes to be questioned *wif the probable exception of teachers bah*.... but... when that happens the logical and considerate side of me juz evaporates away...
wait. wad considerate side of me.. =X
aniwae... guess wad? i'm eating chips now... hahahahaz.. and my throat hasn't really fully recovered yet... todae finally my voice is slightly back.. can start to sing song again without going off key so much.... hahahaz... still coughing though.... :P but... who cares... :P
thinking abt the past again... munching the hot and spicy fried sotong... *which makes me wana gulp down loads of water... cos so hot!!!* reading naruto manga now... now got new chapter!!! makes me feel so so so happy.... XD
yet... now that i've finished reading... a new feeling of.. siandedness falls over me... =X
feeling tireds.... of all those things happening to me this past week... and no idea of whether it's going to continue the coming week...
waiting for something else to happen? i dunno... but... i dare not presume any more... cos... when u start to presume, the higher your hopes get... and.. the greater ur fall will be when u realised that u're simply assuming too much...
and once again... that's y i'll question... so that... i am sure... that i'm not presuming... and to make myself know wad reality actually is... before i start to think too much... start to be too confident... until... once i'm on cloud nine, but i have to get down... i'll have to make a heavy fall...
so... it's all an effort to protect myself bah...
though that's really.. selfish? of me... =X
once again... i shall presume that u wun see all these here...
the upcoming week would be another tiring and tedious one... dunno whether i can survive it again in one piece... but i guess... i have no choice but to face it like a wo-man... =X
28 January 2005
化力气为浆糊...
after being super duper mad at everybody in the world for two days... *see above entries*....
i'm alrights now...
thanks to pple who have all showed me concern over this matter... be it my dad... my kor *who had to withstand my bad temper as well* and wendy... and thankx pansy...
now... feeling loved by all those ard me...
juz yesterday... my cough/flu/headache had gotten worse.. until when i was at work, keep sneezing.. nose block, mind groggy.. work efficiency at new low... den pauline was so so so kind and gave me this flu/cough remedy... which tastes... rather horrible... but... it made me feel better after drinking it... =) she's really like my mum... taking care of me here and there.... though there are times when... ahems... i think she dun like me... like... todae.. hahahaz~
todae quite slack mahz... den so after i secretly installed msn messenger on my computer in my office.. right under pauline's nose... i started chatting wif my "brother" (my RO mate) online... lolz~ alan/allen was behind me and he was like... heyz~ 小妹... 没人在的时候才这样..." ... so i closed my msn... =X
and after that... pauline gave me loads of work... -_-'''
okies larz... i deserve it..
but todae my working efficiency was so scary that pauline is super stressed... "aiyoh... 你做事怎么做得比我快那么多？" hahaz... quite happy wif myself todae for this bah.... *cos managed to stress pauline... ha~ kidding larz...*
hmms... chris is super sick todae... got skin allegy... den cannot come for work... reminds myself of me when i was young.. cos last time i oso kanna loads of such allegy... =S very 辛苦 one... =S so as a friend... wish that he'll get better soon... =)
which reminds me.... chris is super like jiahong.... i dunno y oso.. =X both equally white? =P
on my way home juz now... was thinking of the things which happened to me these few days... i still remembered yesterday... while i was on the lrt going to my student's house for tuition... i felt that life is so 苦... cos i was super tireds.... work wasn't going well for me... in fact everything wasn't good at all... especially in my groggy state... but after last night... i realised that... i'm being loved... by my collegues.... by my family... my good friends..
and my loved one...
and so... i stopped thinking that way... and i realised that.... even though life could be tough now... there are also sweet moments which bring smiles to my face whenever i think of them...
so.... once again... i shall start believing in the light in me... and to believe in those worthy of my trust....
and did i mention that i juz got my first pay??? *beams wif pride* XD but pple... chotto matte, dun rush to me for treats cos i'm still broke... =X
i'm alrights now...
thanks to pple who have all showed me concern over this matter... be it my dad... my kor *who had to withstand my bad temper as well* and wendy... and thankx pansy...
now... feeling loved by all those ard me...
juz yesterday... my cough/flu/headache had gotten worse.. until when i was at work, keep sneezing.. nose block, mind groggy.. work efficiency at new low... den pauline was so so so kind and gave me this flu/cough remedy... which tastes... rather horrible... but... it made me feel better after drinking it... =) she's really like my mum... taking care of me here and there.... though there are times when... ahems... i think she dun like me... like... todae.. hahahaz~
todae quite slack mahz... den so after i secretly installed msn messenger on my computer in my office.. right under pauline's nose... i started chatting wif my "brother" (my RO mate) online... lolz~ alan/allen was behind me and he was like... heyz~ 小妹... 没人在的时候才这样..." ... so i closed my msn... =X
and after that... pauline gave me loads of work... -_-'''
okies larz... i deserve it..
but todae my working efficiency was so scary that pauline is super stressed... "aiyoh... 你做事怎么做得比我快那么多？" hahaz... quite happy wif myself todae for this bah.... *cos managed to stress pauline... ha~ kidding larz...*
hmms... chris is super sick todae... got skin allegy... den cannot come for work... reminds myself of me when i was young.. cos last time i oso kanna loads of such allegy... =S very 辛苦 one... =S so as a friend... wish that he'll get better soon... =)
which reminds me.... chris is super like jiahong.... i dunno y oso.. =X both equally white? =P
on my way home juz now... was thinking of the things which happened to me these few days... i still remembered yesterday... while i was on the lrt going to my student's house for tuition... i felt that life is so 苦... cos i was super tireds.... work wasn't going well for me... in fact everything wasn't good at all... especially in my groggy state... but after last night... i realised that... i'm being loved... by my collegues.... by my family... my good friends..
and my loved one...
and so... i stopped thinking that way... and i realised that.... even though life could be tough now... there are also sweet moments which bring smiles to my face whenever i think of them...
so.... once again... i shall start believing in the light in me... and to believe in those worthy of my trust....
and did i mention that i juz got my first pay??? *beams wif pride* XD but pple... chotto matte, dun rush to me for treats cos i'm still broke... =X
25 January 2005
after all the ranting, be it here, to my parents, or within my mind... all that's left behind is sorrow...
no thoughts now... almost nothing in my mind..
except somewhere deep within.... all the past events had been flashing back every now and then...
enough.. i told myself... stop all those... flashbacks...
so many ifs.... if i had not done this.... maybe things would have turned out better... no one would have to suffer... maybe.. everybody would be happier...
we could have stayed where we were...
and... maybe we can be spared from... all those things which happened.
i'm sorry...
but...
the moment i thought about the things which happened once again...
the moments which brought warmth to my heart... and yours too i hope...
i realised that...
even if it might be better that these things have never happened...
i can't bear to go back to square one...
no thoughts now... almost nothing in my mind..
except somewhere deep within.... all the past events had been flashing back every now and then...
enough.. i told myself... stop all those... flashbacks...
so many ifs.... if i had not done this.... maybe things would have turned out better... no one would have to suffer... maybe.. everybody would be happier...
we could have stayed where we were...
and... maybe we can be spared from... all those things which happened.
i'm sorry...
but...
the moment i thought about the things which happened once again...
the moments which brought warmth to my heart... and yours too i hope...
i realised that...
even if it might be better that these things have never happened...
i can't bear to go back to square one...
angry sotong
lemme juz say this. i'm not in a hahaha happy mood
maybe ignorance is bliss... but how long can u pretend that u have no idea wad's going on?
maybe it's simply not my personality to pretend that i dun noe...
except to those i dun consider close at all.
or maybe it's simply cos i trust pple too easily
far too easily
such that they no longer have to earn my total trust, but only for me to lose my trust for them bit by bit
that's it
for a while, i no longer trusted pple anymore
until someone showed me that there are still pple in the world who can be trusted
and i trust again
but now... i realised how naive i was
maybe now it's time for the awakening.
maybe ignorance is bliss... but how long can u pretend that u have no idea wad's going on?
maybe it's simply not my personality to pretend that i dun noe...
except to those i dun consider close at all.
or maybe it's simply cos i trust pple too easily
far too easily
such that they no longer have to earn my total trust, but only for me to lose my trust for them bit by bit
that's it
for a while, i no longer trusted pple anymore
until someone showed me that there are still pple in the world who can be trusted
and i trust again
but now... i realised how naive i was
maybe now it's time for the awakening.
23 January 2005
sick.
geez.. this is the second time i'm typing this...
guess wad?
i'm sick... =S
so.... sorry...
feeling groggy now... originally it started wif... a minor sore throat last night... but after my sleepless night, it has become full fledged... until i lost my voice this morning... actually not really lost my voice larz.. it's juz that it's so painful until i juz dun wanna open my mouth le... dun wanna drink water oso.. =S
i really wanted to go send u off todae
bet alan/allen spread it to me.. =X
though u dun allow me to.. ha~
now i really hope i wun spread to my sis... cos she's oso coughing like siao now... =S
or... juz at least meet u todae...
hope that by tml, i'll be better... or else i'll really die at my workplace tml.. =S
but i guess i'm too greedy le...
and somehow.. it seems that loads of weird things happen todae... when i'm sick.. =X
maybe this sorethroat's telling me to stop being so stubborn
haiz~
juz wanna tell u...
juz now, on my way home, felt so darn groggy until i almost dieded... especially wif that hot sun... =S but now.. luckily i still made it back home in one piece... hehez~ going to sleep laters, after my lunch which i'm having quite a lot of trouble swallowing.. =X
take carez... try not to get tekan again...
i hate being sick!!! =(
and... cya in a week's time, i hope
btw, i solved the prob of maple story le.. so now i can finally restart playing again... though now i've gotta use a new account... start all the way from lvl 1 again... sianz~ but heyz... at least now can play le... =)
jiayouz! it'll be over soon.. =)
maybe this is the only consolation i get for being sick.. ha~
guess wad?
i'm sick... =S
so.... sorry...
feeling groggy now... originally it started wif... a minor sore throat last night... but after my sleepless night, it has become full fledged... until i lost my voice this morning... actually not really lost my voice larz.. it's juz that it's so painful until i juz dun wanna open my mouth le... dun wanna drink water oso.. =S
i really wanted to go send u off todae
bet alan/allen spread it to me.. =X
though u dun allow me to.. ha~
now i really hope i wun spread to my sis... cos she's oso coughing like siao now... =S
or... juz at least meet u todae...
hope that by tml, i'll be better... or else i'll really die at my workplace tml.. =S
but i guess i'm too greedy le...
and somehow.. it seems that loads of weird things happen todae... when i'm sick.. =X
maybe this sorethroat's telling me to stop being so stubborn
haiz~
juz wanna tell u...
juz now, on my way home, felt so darn groggy until i almost dieded... especially wif that hot sun... =S but now.. luckily i still made it back home in one piece... hehez~ going to sleep laters, after my lunch which i'm having quite a lot of trouble swallowing.. =X
take carez... try not to get tekan again...
i hate being sick!!! =(
and... cya in a week's time, i hope
btw, i solved the prob of maple story le.. so now i can finally restart playing again... though now i've gotta use a new account... start all the way from lvl 1 again... sianz~ but heyz... at least now can play le... =)
jiayouz! it'll be over soon.. =)
maybe this is the only consolation i get for being sick.. ha~
19 January 2005
heyz... i finally saw this on zhiyong's blog after like.. 2 years since i wanted to post it online.. so yar.. here u go...
brings back old memories...
aniwae... todae at work... allen *sorry for spelling his name as alan in the previous entry* was trying to teach me abt life... life is like ur hand... the back of ur palm is black, turn it ard and it's white... and juz observe ur fingers... it can be short or long...
at first i dun get his analogy... but after thinking for a bit... finally got a bit of "enlightenment"... lolz~
and how can i forget? how insensitive and low eq i was to start questioning chris abt his gf... lolz~ i juz went up to him and started asking.. heyz~ going on a date ar? lolz~ den super 38, started probing abt his love life.. =X and so he naughtily smsed me when i din give him my phone no to say... heyz~ girl wif low eq... lolz!
sighz~
can't wait for tml to come.. cos.. after tml it's hol!! no need to work for a day... lolz~
"I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cryI hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."
brings back old memories...
aniwae... todae at work... allen *sorry for spelling his name as alan in the previous entry* was trying to teach me abt life... life is like ur hand... the back of ur palm is black, turn it ard and it's white... and juz observe ur fingers... it can be short or long...
at first i dun get his analogy... but after thinking for a bit... finally got a bit of "enlightenment"... lolz~
and how can i forget? how insensitive and low eq i was to start questioning chris abt his gf... lolz~ i juz went up to him and started asking.. heyz~ going on a date ar? lolz~ den super 38, started probing abt his love life.. =X and so he naughtily smsed me when i din give him my phone no to say... heyz~ girl wif low eq... lolz!
sighz~
can't wait for tml to come.. cos.. after tml it's hol!! no need to work for a day... lolz~
17 January 2005
i guess when u're in a bad mood.. it stays... ur thoughts swirling in ur mind simply makes things worse.
okies. i'm cynical, okies?
work todae was good... as in... got to slack... on the first day of work lehz! lolz~ muahahahaz~ learnt how to work the programs in there.. realised that the comps in the company are darn slow.. lolz~
i swore to myself when i lost my cookie job that i'll treat work more seriously... i will.
and i hope that tml i'll have loads of work so that i can totally forget abt time...
todae, if not for chris and jenny who were like rushing me off, *and not forgetting pauline and alan... who were working wif me in the same office but until 7pm* it's furnie that i can knock off b4 5.30 when the job's from 8 to 530... lolz~ and apparently... the company kinda encourage knocking off early? hmms... lolz~
pauline is like my mentor.. she's super nice... keep saying sorry to me *juz like me... hahahaz~* cos i keep doing all my stuff too fast, den got prob go to her, but she too busy to attend to me, keep apologising... making me feel super bad... =S so hope that tml i wun disturb her that much... haiz~
once again... THANKEW SHEILA for helping me find the job... XD
going to work again tml... shall sleep well tonites and push wadeva thoughts i have to the very back of my mind until it reaches a cliff and drops out of my mind. wadeva i'm trying to say. if u get wad i mean. hahahaz~
okies. i'm cynical, okies?
work todae was good... as in... got to slack... on the first day of work lehz! lolz~ muahahahaz~ learnt how to work the programs in there.. realised that the comps in the company are darn slow.. lolz~
i swore to myself when i lost my cookie job that i'll treat work more seriously... i will.
and i hope that tml i'll have loads of work so that i can totally forget abt time...
todae, if not for chris and jenny who were like rushing me off, *and not forgetting pauline and alan... who were working wif me in the same office but until 7pm* it's furnie that i can knock off b4 5.30 when the job's from 8 to 530... lolz~ and apparently... the company kinda encourage knocking off early? hmms... lolz~
pauline is like my mentor.. she's super nice... keep saying sorry to me *juz like me... hahahaz~* cos i keep doing all my stuff too fast, den got prob go to her, but she too busy to attend to me, keep apologising... making me feel super bad... =S so hope that tml i wun disturb her that much... haiz~
once again... THANKEW SHEILA for helping me find the job... XD
going to work again tml... shall sleep well tonites and push wadeva thoughts i have to the very back of my mind until it reaches a cliff and drops out of my mind. wadeva i'm trying to say. if u get wad i mean. hahahaz~
16 January 2005
okies... let's see how badly i screwed up my blog... sobz...
juz now while trying to "beautify" my blog... *which obviously din turn out well...* i did a few things to the pic of yuna... *oh~ poor yuna... =X* and now... if u guys manage to see this entry... good for u... or else i'm in deep shit... lolz~
aniwae.. juz made pancakes to eat... *finally~ ha~* and guess wad? me and my mum went crazy and put prawns in the pancakes... the prawns themselves taste nice... but not together wif the pan cake... lolz~
sighz~ 4 something only... tml starting work... blog down~ arrgh... stressed!
PS. finally the 4-11 class blog is up!!! cheerios to yuchun!!! XD
juz now while trying to "beautify" my blog... *which obviously din turn out well...* i did a few things to the pic of yuna... *oh~ poor yuna... =X* and now... if u guys manage to see this entry... good for u... or else i'm in deep shit... lolz~
aniwae.. juz made pancakes to eat... *finally~ ha~* and guess wad? me and my mum went crazy and put prawns in the pancakes... the prawns themselves taste nice... but not together wif the pan cake... lolz~
sighz~ 4 something only... tml starting work... blog down~ arrgh... stressed!
PS. finally the 4-11 class blog is up!!! cheerios to yuchun!!! XD
okies.. dun ask me y there's this sudden change in blog layout... i juz.. feel like it... hahahahaz...
wanted to make the theme of the blog
aniwae.. this is juz a revised edition of the previous blog layout, in case u guys din realise.. ha~
abt how i'll be waiting for u...
hmms.... this layout is still not finalised... wanna add some words to the image in the background.. but dunno how... somemore i oso dun wan the image size to be too big cos later my web host dun allow the file transfer den u'll see a black background.. not very nice as well...
how i miss u...
aniwae... hope u guys like this layout.. hahahaz... cos.. i juz kinda missed yuna... =)
but i guess u wun even notice my feelings towards u.
hmms.... let's see... todae when i woke up.... originally wanted to make pancakes for myself, but too lazy le... :P woke up wif aching shoulder joints... probably cos....
ahems..
now i officially announce that... i'm a proud owner of a mahjong set and mahjong table..
guess wad? yesterday when me and my mum were doing our weekly groceries shopping *yawnz~*... we saw... a mahjong set plus table going at $38+++!!!! super cheap bargain lehz!!! den of course a gambling ghost like me would straight away jump at the great bargain... result in... me carrying that really heavy mahjong table home all by myself... wif the help of my dad's car, but still... i guess i din do exercise for a long long time le... so now.. shoulders aching lohz... lolz~
now wondering wad improvements i can make to this blog.. ha~
starting work tml... bought loads of office wear stuff... blouse, handbags... blah blah blah.. dunno whether i'm scared abt work or nots.. lolz~ but... hope i can do well for this job.. shall jiayouz.. hehez~
kkz.. me going out now.. cya~
wanted to make the theme of the blog
aniwae.. this is juz a revised edition of the previous blog layout, in case u guys din realise.. ha~
abt how i'll be waiting for u...
hmms.... this layout is still not finalised... wanna add some words to the image in the background.. but dunno how... somemore i oso dun wan the image size to be too big cos later my web host dun allow the file transfer den u'll see a black background.. not very nice as well...
how i miss u...
aniwae... hope u guys like this layout.. hahahaz... cos.. i juz kinda missed yuna... =)
but i guess u wun even notice my feelings towards u.
hmms.... let's see... todae when i woke up.... originally wanted to make pancakes for myself, but too lazy le... :P woke up wif aching shoulder joints... probably cos....
ahems..
now i officially announce that... i'm a proud owner of a mahjong set and mahjong table..
guess wad? yesterday when me and my mum were doing our weekly groceries shopping *yawnz~*... we saw... a mahjong set plus table going at $38+++!!!! super cheap bargain lehz!!! den of course a gambling ghost like me would straight away jump at the great bargain... result in... me carrying that really heavy mahjong table home all by myself... wif the help of my dad's car, but still... i guess i din do exercise for a long long time le... so now.. shoulders aching lohz... lolz~
now wondering wad improvements i can make to this blog.. ha~
starting work tml... bought loads of office wear stuff... blouse, handbags... blah blah blah.. dunno whether i'm scared abt work or nots.. lolz~ but... hope i can do well for this job.. shall jiayouz.. hehez~
kkz.. me going out now.. cya~
15 January 2005
hehez... guess wad? i finally found a job!!! thankew sheila who offered me this job! XD
okok... it's not the one i was describing happily in my previous entry.... well... i kinda got cheated on the previous job interview thingy... cos went down yesterday to see how these guys work... and instead of organising roadshows or so they said... they're juz selling charity tickets along the streets... haiz~ cheat my time... lolz~ but aniwae... i went down wif yuchun... and the two of us managed to chat loads... so... well... those guys are forgiven... ha~
aniwae.... now feeling sians... juz finished eating lunch... feeling a little... erms.. sleepy... hahahahaz... RO server down, so is maple story.. meaning i'm stuck wif nth to do but to sleep.. hahaz..
but i shall try to resist the temptation... TRY.
now chatting wif pansy... hahahaz... all of a sudden kinda miss the class... yesterday i cleared a bit of my room.. den looked through photos... and started missing my ny sec 4 class... plus... the jc class lohz... which brings my mind to... my autograph book... WHERE ARE U NOW??? so... will the kind holder of my autograph book now.. pls sms me or something.. to at least lemme know where my book is... =X
and pansy is now telling me all the details of this exotic lingerie she wanna own... lolz~
been thinking abt things again... listening to SHE encore again and again.... drifting... and drifting...
*slap slaps* gosh.. i was abt to fall asleep juz now... hahaz... =S maybe i shall really pay my bed a visit now.. ha~
once again.... this update is to tell the whole world that i'm still alive and kicking.. ha~ and not to mention.. that how bored i am...
but this wun be the case once i start work next week... sobz~
office wear... high heels? eeks... aniwae... i shall strive to work hard for the upcoming new task... hehez... guys out there... do wish me luck.. ha~
okok... it's not the one i was describing happily in my previous entry.... well... i kinda got cheated on the previous job interview thingy... cos went down yesterday to see how these guys work... and instead of organising roadshows or so they said... they're juz selling charity tickets along the streets... haiz~ cheat my time... lolz~ but aniwae... i went down wif yuchun... and the two of us managed to chat loads... so... well... those guys are forgiven... ha~
aniwae.... now feeling sians... juz finished eating lunch... feeling a little... erms.. sleepy... hahahahaz... RO server down, so is maple story.. meaning i'm stuck wif nth to do but to sleep.. hahaz..
but i shall try to resist the temptation... TRY.
now chatting wif pansy... hahahaz... all of a sudden kinda miss the class... yesterday i cleared a bit of my room.. den looked through photos... and started missing my ny sec 4 class... plus... the jc class lohz... which brings my mind to... my autograph book... WHERE ARE U NOW??? so... will the kind holder of my autograph book now.. pls sms me or something.. to at least lemme know where my book is... =X
and pansy is now telling me all the details of this exotic lingerie she wanna own... lolz~
been thinking abt things again... listening to SHE encore again and again.... drifting... and drifting...
*slap slaps* gosh.. i was abt to fall asleep juz now... hahaz... =S maybe i shall really pay my bed a visit now.. ha~
once again.... this update is to tell the whole world that i'm still alive and kicking.. ha~ and not to mention.. that how bored i am...
but this wun be the case once i start work next week... sobz~
office wear... high heels? eeks... aniwae... i shall strive to work hard for the upcoming new task... hehez... guys out there... do wish me luck.. ha~
13 January 2005
hmms... i'm back...
yeah yeah... i'm still alive.. alive and kicking...
juz realised my dear good best friend has a new blog!!! hehehez~ welcome to the blogging community!!! *fireworks pls*
aniwae... i'm back to the cheery bubbly girl le.... hahahaz...
todae went for another job interview... this sounds like an interesting job... organise all sorts of events, get to work wif loads of pple... i'm kinda looking forward for the session wif our trainers b4 my second interview tml... =) hope i can finally shed the status of being unemployed tml... hehez..
and not to forget... there's oso a job of admin offered by the science centre.... though it sounds boring... at least if i dun get my "ideal" job tml, i still have another job pending...
and i've oso got a tuition job...
y am i looking for job? cos... my cookie job ditched me... *sobz* cos while i was slacking my one week away after the e2 job, they found another family member to take over my place... so.. okies lohz... but aniwae... a little upset cos i tot i had a job secured le... stupid me larz... hahaz...
aniwae.... putting such things aside... there are other minor unhappy incidents which happened while i tried looking for a job.. like two days ago, when i tried to look for an admin job, kanna scolded by the person on the other side of the phone cos i was unsure of wad i want... cos we were trying to set the interview time the next day, but i couldn't make up my mind abt wad time i wanna go over.... so she became quite frustrated and replied me in a rather sacarstic tone abt how i shouldn't be doing this cos i'm the one looking for a job... okies, point taken... but i was still a little mad at her... originally wanted to ask her more abt the job, but... haiz.. forget it larz.. so hung up lohz.
next day, went over for the job interview... *den pangseh sheila cos originally i wanted to go for another job interview wif her* and guess wad? they din wan pple like me who are waiting for a level results... wad de.. waste my time.... but nvm larz... i din really hold high hopes for this one.. but... juz... GIMME BACK MY BUS FARE!!!
sobz~
nowadays... no longer a student means loads of things.. first, no need to wake up at 6... next, can sleep anytime i like... third, can play online games the whole day... fourth no need to worry abt tests or exams... BUT BUT BUT.... it means that i oso no longer have to go to school... meaning that my bus fare will be AT LEAST 60cents and above... meaning that last time i spend $10 on transport for two weeks will no longer apply... nowadays i spend $10 for like.. 4 days? siandeds... aniwae... kinda miss schooling... like i mentioned in the previous entries.... haiz~
13th jan... how time flies... somehow i managed to slack... like.. 11 days away? tsk tsk... time to spring back into action loh.... =)
yeah yeah... i'm still alive.. alive and kicking...
juz realised my dear good best friend has a new blog!!! hehehez~ welcome to the blogging community!!! *fireworks pls*
aniwae... i'm back to the cheery bubbly girl le.... hahahaz...
todae went for another job interview... this sounds like an interesting job... organise all sorts of events, get to work wif loads of pple... i'm kinda looking forward for the session wif our trainers b4 my second interview tml... =) hope i can finally shed the status of being unemployed tml... hehez..
and not to forget... there's oso a job of admin offered by the science centre.... though it sounds boring... at least if i dun get my "ideal" job tml, i still have another job pending...
and i've oso got a tuition job...
y am i looking for job? cos... my cookie job ditched me... *sobz* cos while i was slacking my one week away after the e2 job, they found another family member to take over my place... so.. okies lohz... but aniwae... a little upset cos i tot i had a job secured le... stupid me larz... hahaz...
aniwae.... putting such things aside... there are other minor unhappy incidents which happened while i tried looking for a job.. like two days ago, when i tried to look for an admin job, kanna scolded by the person on the other side of the phone cos i was unsure of wad i want... cos we were trying to set the interview time the next day, but i couldn't make up my mind abt wad time i wanna go over.... so she became quite frustrated and replied me in a rather sacarstic tone abt how i shouldn't be doing this cos i'm the one looking for a job... okies, point taken... but i was still a little mad at her... originally wanted to ask her more abt the job, but... haiz.. forget it larz.. so hung up lohz.
next day, went over for the job interview... *den pangseh sheila cos originally i wanted to go for another job interview wif her* and guess wad? they din wan pple like me who are waiting for a level results... wad de.. waste my time.... but nvm larz... i din really hold high hopes for this one.. but... juz... GIMME BACK MY BUS FARE!!!
sobz~
nowadays... no longer a student means loads of things.. first, no need to wake up at 6... next, can sleep anytime i like... third, can play online games the whole day... fourth no need to worry abt tests or exams... BUT BUT BUT.... it means that i oso no longer have to go to school... meaning that my bus fare will be AT LEAST 60cents and above... meaning that last time i spend $10 on transport for two weeks will no longer apply... nowadays i spend $10 for like.. 4 days? siandeds... aniwae... kinda miss schooling... like i mentioned in the previous entries.... haiz~
13th jan... how time flies... somehow i managed to slack... like.. 11 days away? tsk tsk... time to spring back into action loh.... =)
07 January 2005
05 January 2005
害怕
as the fateful day approach... things seem to start getting worse and worse...
我很怕。
would u alleviate my fears?
我很怕。
would u alleviate my fears?
04 January 2005
reflections...
okok.. i'm back...
yesterday was the last day of me working at the atrium there... thinking back on my work performance, i think i totally sux... hahaz... *sorry for that.. er... "vulgar" word.. =X*
hmms... juz like wad someone said.. *i can't remember who* it's okies to be blur wif ur friends.. but u can't be blur to ur boss... guess i did both.. haiz... there was once my male boss was trying to sort out our products.. den i stupidly went up to him and asked... sir.. wad size are u looking for? and it was only when my collegue told me he's the boss den i realised my stupid mistake..
and ever since then i had been quite afraid of my boss... hahaz..
but aniwae.. yesterday's the last day le... hope i wun get to see him again... ha~
speaking of work... sighz... really really think i totally sux... but... nvm... i'll start afresh on the cookie job... sighz...
thinking of loads of things now... mind drifting.. drifting... melting into the cold wet weather...
have loads of things to settle this week... pray everything would go fine... and... be strong...
yesterday was the last day of me working at the atrium there... thinking back on my work performance, i think i totally sux... hahaz... *sorry for that.. er... "vulgar" word.. =X*
hmms... juz like wad someone said.. *i can't remember who* it's okies to be blur wif ur friends.. but u can't be blur to ur boss... guess i did both.. haiz... there was once my male boss was trying to sort out our products.. den i stupidly went up to him and asked... sir.. wad size are u looking for? and it was only when my collegue told me he's the boss den i realised my stupid mistake..
and ever since then i had been quite afraid of my boss... hahaz..
but aniwae.. yesterday's the last day le... hope i wun get to see him again... ha~
speaking of work... sighz... really really think i totally sux... but... nvm... i'll start afresh on the cookie job... sighz...
thinking of loads of things now... mind drifting.. drifting... melting into the cold wet weather...
have loads of things to settle this week... pray everything would go fine... and... be strong...
02 January 2005
juz read this on someone else's od... thought i shall post it here first..
"I never knew love. He taught me love and he showered me with it. But he too, pull me down from heaven to hell just when I thought I was supposedly the happiest woman on earth."
hmms.. actually... i'm going for work in say.. 8 mins time? still trying to gulp down my hot hot hot porridge... and haven't put on makeup yet!!! sheesh... shall update soon... todae's my last day le... hahahaz...
basically blogging here to juz say... i'm still alive and kicking... shall be back soon... =P
"I never knew love. He taught me love and he showered me with it. But he too, pull me down from heaven to hell just when I thought I was supposedly the happiest woman on earth."
hmms.. actually... i'm going for work in say.. 8 mins time? still trying to gulp down my hot hot hot porridge... and haven't put on makeup yet!!! sheesh... shall update soon... todae's my last day le... hahahaz...
basically blogging here to juz say... i'm still alive and kicking... shall be back soon... =P
27 December 2004
ohayo~ *sniffles a yawn*
hmms... realised i haven't been blogging quite some time.. hahaz... guess i'm really really tired these few days... been kinda busy wif all sorts of stuff....
yesterday juz went out the whole day wif my family on a shopping trip... omg. i went into shopping frenzy yesterday and bought loads of clothes.... -_- i guess for me alone i spent over 100 bucks le lohz.... haven't find job yet... den waste so much $$ le... =X
hahaz... had fun yesterday wif my mum and my sis though... my sis kept looking at shoes.. den me n my mum looking and clothes... den somehow... i kept "dian"ing my sis... so i accuse my sis of "dian"ing me.... in the end... through various "experiment"s which consists of me "dian"ing my sis and my mum numerous times... i've come to the conclusion that.. actually.. i'm the one "dian"ing them.... ha~ think it's caused by me sweeping my hand wif my shorts... resulting in static formed.... hahaz... but the experiment also resulted in my sis having this fear whenever i approach her.... muahahahaz~
todae... guess i'll probably be out the whole day... going to drop by west mall laters to tell pansy that i'm taking up the job starting tml... =X 11-10 lehz... selling... er.... inner beauty at west mall... hahaz... eh... if ur wan can come patronise larz... but.. aiyah... juz pretend u dunno me.. ha~ =X
and kelvin ar... who says i'm going to be a mannequine... -_- not even in ur dreams lehz... i wanna save u from having nightmares... hahahahahaz~
geez... very very tired.... think i might be falling sick soon... =X *sniff sniff*
hmms... realised i haven't been blogging quite some time.. hahaz... guess i'm really really tired these few days... been kinda busy wif all sorts of stuff....
yesterday juz went out the whole day wif my family on a shopping trip... omg. i went into shopping frenzy yesterday and bought loads of clothes.... -_- i guess for me alone i spent over 100 bucks le lohz.... haven't find job yet... den waste so much $$ le... =X
hahaz... had fun yesterday wif my mum and my sis though... my sis kept looking at shoes.. den me n my mum looking and clothes... den somehow... i kept "dian"ing my sis... so i accuse my sis of "dian"ing me.... in the end... through various "experiment"s which consists of me "dian"ing my sis and my mum numerous times... i've come to the conclusion that.. actually.. i'm the one "dian"ing them.... ha~ think it's caused by me sweeping my hand wif my shorts... resulting in static formed.... hahaz... but the experiment also resulted in my sis having this fear whenever i approach her.... muahahahaz~
todae... guess i'll probably be out the whole day... going to drop by west mall laters to tell pansy that i'm taking up the job starting tml... =X 11-10 lehz... selling... er.... inner beauty at west mall... hahaz... eh... if ur wan can come patronise larz... but.. aiyah... juz pretend u dunno me.. ha~ =X
and kelvin ar... who says i'm going to be a mannequine... -_- not even in ur dreams lehz... i wanna save u from having nightmares... hahahahahaz~
geez... very very tired.... think i might be falling sick soon... =X *sniff sniff*
24 December 2004
hey heyz~ merry christmas eve!!! XD
all of a sudden... my tagboard is flooding wif loads of furnie comments... niaoing each other... had a fun time laffing at all the comments... at the same time... feeling this warmth in my heart... maybe this is the spirit of christmas? hahaz...
hmms... all of a sudden feel like crying... oso dunno y... hahaz...
reading other pple's blogs as well... laffing at their furnie comments as well... hehez...
juz feel... this smile... slowly being registered on my face...
okies larz... sorry for the weird stuff written upstairs... i mean... maybe i haven't really woken up... hahaz...
it's been a rather... tiring but happy days of being busy wif christmas prep, eh... eating tang yuans... eh... den going out to look for jobs...
went out yesterday wif pansy and kelvin... den went jurong point... originally told pansy.. heyz.. let's go shopping... in the end we went shopping for jobs... hahaz... it was the first time i ever went out to start asking ard for jobs... and so i was... very scared.. lolz~
den... i came to the comics connection shop.. and saw... they're employing pple!!! hahahahaz.. was darn happy... thinking of going in to apply for the job.. budden... they say dey dun wan students... *sobz sobz* pansy was still there saying.. if i got the job i'll be so darn happy... =X budden... reality's so so cruel... haiz...
next... went out of comics connection... view shifted to the jigsaw puzzle shop there.... den me and pansy suddenly went into a frenzy... JIGSAW PUZZLE!!! den the two of us started running towards the shop to see whether they're trying to employ pple... den realised we looked like two idiots wif kelvin walking slowly behind us.. *bet he was wondering wad the two of us are up to, or he's laffing at the two of us.. hahaz* so we walked slowly... and i once again "plucked up" courage to go in and enquire abt the job... budden... once again.. they're not employing students who are waiting for a level results... sobz~
geez... that's all for the job hunt yesterday.. hahaz.. cos the rest of the time it was pansy in action... hahaz... den she talked a little abt this banquet job... which i'm kinda interested... budden... dunno lehz.. lolz~
todae wake up... walked like a mini zombie... sis using comp...so i made a beeline to my dining table... first thing i saw... the classified section of the straits times... so started flipping without any.... conscious action? hahaz.. dunno... den looking at the job listings... wondering if i should start calling.. but.. dun dare lehz.. lolz~
sheesh... i din know i'm so timid... =X
maybe i'll start calling after christmas.. ha~
aniwae... juz drank banana milk for breakfast... *which is the only one out of two things made from bananas that are nice. hahaz~* wondering how my day would be laters...
cos.. later going to p school gathering... which someone quite influential in my p school life would be there... or rather.. 2 pple who are influential in my p school life would be there... hahaz... dunno whether i'm excited or wad.... somehow... all of a sudden i dun feel like going.. hahaz... dunno lehz.. maybe cos i feel christmas eves and christmas should be spent wif my loved ones? hahaz.... feeling a bit bad for pangsehing my loved ones... lolz~ budden..... hmms...
okies... i'm in a dilemna again. =X
and.. sheesh.. i cannot finish my christmas present.... and i realised.. even if i rush through it throughout the night, den the next day dun go out and cheong the present all the way.... i'll still need like... 3 days to complete? geez... ever since i last made that present i have sorta swore that i dun wanna make it again... and now i'm starting to regret not following my promise... hahaz... jokings larz... sighz...
sorry guys.... if ur dun receive ur christmas presents on time... geez~
oh yar... yesterday i juz realised that my blog doesn't have the archives link!!! den tried to add it in lohz... so.. there u go... it's under the tagboard now.. hahaz... cos i dunno how to add it to the links thingy... hehez~
sorry larz.. i swaku larz.. cannot mehz? =P
oh.... and i received my first christmas present from my parents yesterday... went out shopping wif them... den my mum said.. tot u wanted to buy two cds quite badly? so we went cd rama and i finally got SHE's encore cd... plus the cd which i'm listening now... eternity... the one which they advertise on tv... hahaz.. wonders of the media har...
but the cd still sounds nice... hehez... it's a nice therapy for insomnia... very soothing music...
and i've been trying to listen to the SHE's cd the whole day yesterday... trying to fight my brother's playlist which was being played millions of times since dunno when... until i can even sing to the tune le... and i realised that.... i like the lyrics of many songs... though i dun really like the tune as much... hahaz...
so.. shall post some of the lyrics here... hahaz~
我爱你
s.h.e encore 曲 geoman villalon from sweetbox 词 姚若龙
从你眼睛 看着自己 最幸福的倒影
握在手心的默契 是明天的指引
无论是远近 什么世纪
在天堂拥抱 或荒野流离
我爱你 我敢去 未知的 任何命运
我爱你 我愿意 准你来跋扈地决定 世界边境
偶尔我真的不懂你 又有谁真懂自己
往往两个人多亲密 是透过伤害来证明
像焦虑不安 我就任性
怕泄漏你怕 所以你生气
我爱你 让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你 我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
我撑起所有爱围成风雨的禁地
当狂风豪雨 想让你喘口气
被划破的信心 需要时间痊愈
梦想牵着怀疑 未来看不清
就紧紧地拥抱去传递
能量和勇气 我爱你
我爱你 我想去 未知的 任何命运
我爱你 让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你 我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
哪里都一起去 一起仰望星星
一起走出森林 一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌 一起雨过天晴
一起更懂自己 一起找到意义
让我爱你 我不要没有你
我不能没有你 绝不能没有你
对号入座
s.h.e encore
太阳大雨大你就炫烂五彩清清爽爽
月亮太美我就移民阳台星星闪闪
开始你还怀疑过我会不会我抄袭你太多
你脑袋还想的念头我已经就在这么做
水剩半杯你说还有一半乐观开朗
遭遇失败我说都是一样开朗坚强
开始我还怀疑过你是不是偷偷占星算命
我脑袋正在想的旋律你已经放在车上听
你的想法我都ok 还不够等爱陪你去做
我的心思你都ok 不用说甚至对号入座
wu~~~~最完美的互动
我的心思你都ok 不用说最完美的互动
all of a sudden... my tagboard is flooding wif loads of furnie comments... niaoing each other... had a fun time laffing at all the comments... at the same time... feeling this warmth in my heart... maybe this is the spirit of christmas? hahaz...
hmms... all of a sudden feel like crying... oso dunno y... hahaz...
reading other pple's blogs as well... laffing at their furnie comments as well... hehez...
juz feel... this smile... slowly being registered on my face...
okies larz... sorry for the weird stuff written upstairs... i mean... maybe i haven't really woken up... hahaz...
it's been a rather... tiring but happy days of being busy wif christmas prep, eh... eating tang yuans... eh... den going out to look for jobs...
went out yesterday wif pansy and kelvin... den went jurong point... originally told pansy.. heyz.. let's go shopping... in the end we went shopping for jobs... hahaz... it was the first time i ever went out to start asking ard for jobs... and so i was... very scared.. lolz~
den... i came to the comics connection shop.. and saw... they're employing pple!!! hahahahaz.. was darn happy... thinking of going in to apply for the job.. budden... they say dey dun wan students... *sobz sobz* pansy was still there saying.. if i got the job i'll be so darn happy... =X budden... reality's so so cruel... haiz...
next... went out of comics connection... view shifted to the jigsaw puzzle shop there.... den me and pansy suddenly went into a frenzy... JIGSAW PUZZLE!!! den the two of us started running towards the shop to see whether they're trying to employ pple... den realised we looked like two idiots wif kelvin walking slowly behind us.. *bet he was wondering wad the two of us are up to, or he's laffing at the two of us.. hahaz* so we walked slowly... and i once again "plucked up" courage to go in and enquire abt the job... budden... once again.. they're not employing students who are waiting for a level results... sobz~
geez... that's all for the job hunt yesterday.. hahaz.. cos the rest of the time it was pansy in action... hahaz... den she talked a little abt this banquet job... which i'm kinda interested... budden... dunno lehz.. lolz~
todae wake up... walked like a mini zombie... sis using comp...so i made a beeline to my dining table... first thing i saw... the classified section of the straits times... so started flipping without any.... conscious action? hahaz.. dunno... den looking at the job listings... wondering if i should start calling.. but.. dun dare lehz.. lolz~
sheesh... i din know i'm so timid... =X
maybe i'll start calling after christmas.. ha~
aniwae... juz drank banana milk for breakfast... *which is the only one out of two things made from bananas that are nice. hahaz~* wondering how my day would be laters...
cos.. later going to p school gathering... which someone quite influential in my p school life would be there... or rather.. 2 pple who are influential in my p school life would be there... hahaz... dunno whether i'm excited or wad.... somehow... all of a sudden i dun feel like going.. hahaz... dunno lehz.. maybe cos i feel christmas eves and christmas should be spent wif my loved ones? hahaz.... feeling a bit bad for pangsehing my loved ones... lolz~ budden..... hmms...
okies... i'm in a dilemna again. =X
and.. sheesh.. i cannot finish my christmas present.... and i realised.. even if i rush through it throughout the night, den the next day dun go out and cheong the present all the way.... i'll still need like... 3 days to complete? geez... ever since i last made that present i have sorta swore that i dun wanna make it again... and now i'm starting to regret not following my promise... hahaz... jokings larz... sighz...
sorry guys.... if ur dun receive ur christmas presents on time... geez~
oh yar... yesterday i juz realised that my blog doesn't have the archives link!!! den tried to add it in lohz... so.. there u go... it's under the tagboard now.. hahaz... cos i dunno how to add it to the links thingy... hehez~
sorry larz.. i swaku larz.. cannot mehz? =P
oh.... and i received my first christmas present from my parents yesterday... went out shopping wif them... den my mum said.. tot u wanted to buy two cds quite badly? so we went cd rama and i finally got SHE's encore cd... plus the cd which i'm listening now... eternity... the one which they advertise on tv... hahaz.. wonders of the media har...
but the cd still sounds nice... hehez... it's a nice therapy for insomnia... very soothing music...
and i've been trying to listen to the SHE's cd the whole day yesterday... trying to fight my brother's playlist which was being played millions of times since dunno when... until i can even sing to the tune le... and i realised that.... i like the lyrics of many songs... though i dun really like the tune as much... hahaz...
so.. shall post some of the lyrics here... hahaz~
我爱你
s.h.e encore 曲 geoman villalon from sweetbox 词 姚若龙
从你眼睛 看着自己 最幸福的倒影
握在手心的默契 是明天的指引
无论是远近 什么世纪
在天堂拥抱 或荒野流离
我爱你 我敢去 未知的 任何命运
我爱你 我愿意 准你来跋扈地决定 世界边境
偶尔我真的不懂你 又有谁真懂自己
往往两个人多亲密 是透过伤害来证明
像焦虑不安 我就任性
怕泄漏你怕 所以你生气
我爱你 让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你 我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
我撑起所有爱围成风雨的禁地
当狂风豪雨 想让你喘口气
被划破的信心 需要时间痊愈
梦想牵着怀疑 未来看不清
就紧紧地拥抱去传递
能量和勇气 我爱你
我爱你 我想去 未知的 任何命运
我爱你 让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你 我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
哪里都一起去 一起仰望星星
一起走出森林 一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌 一起雨过天晴
一起更懂自己 一起找到意义
让我爱你 我不要没有你
我不能没有你 绝不能没有你
对号入座
s.h.e encore
太阳大雨大你就炫烂五彩清清爽爽
月亮太美我就移民阳台星星闪闪
开始你还怀疑过我会不会我抄袭你太多
你脑袋还想的念头我已经就在这么做
水剩半杯你说还有一半乐观开朗
遭遇失败我说都是一样开朗坚强
开始我还怀疑过你是不是偷偷占星算命
我脑袋正在想的旋律你已经放在车上听
你的想法我都ok 还不够等爱陪你去做
我的心思你都ok 不用说甚至对号入座
wu~~~~最完美的互动
我的心思你都ok 不用说最完美的互动
22 December 2004
hmms... ohayo~
heyz... junyi... i saw that comment.... who's the chicken who only knows how to eat his 同类 but dunno how to even cook maggie mee ar?
aniwae.. i really managed to bake a cake le... so... hmph... =P
aniwae... *let's pray my sis wun see this entry until 24th... hehez* i've baked an oreo cheesecake for my family for christmas.... phew~ *that's one down, many more to go... =X*
only 2 more days left till 24th... including todae... which have been half spent due to me lying on the bed, unwilling to get down.. talk abt being lazy... long time never spend time wif my bed, pillow(s) and my bloster... hehez... love my bloster... XD
okiesh.. the above para sounded a little... incoherent.. hahaz... maybe cos i din have breakfast yet? =P
and now... my mum is persuading me to join alumni co... -_-''' saying how much i like co... and enjoy talking to pple... go there can keep in touch wif my lao gong... blah blah blah... den i was telling her that i wanna consider more... and she juz kept talking on and on abt how i dun wanna join cos i'm only interested in mixing wif my 猪朋狗友 and dun care abt my sis *who happens to be alumni oso*.... oh well... wad can i say? =X
oh well.. even if i join... i dun think i can go for all the practices aniwae... cos next year i'm going to work already mahz... =X
hahaz... enuff ranting for now... shall start to eat a little biscuits bah... and pray i dun get any fatter.. =X
heyz... junyi... i saw that comment.... who's the chicken who only knows how to eat his 同类 but dunno how to even cook maggie mee ar?
aniwae.. i really managed to bake a cake le... so... hmph... =P
aniwae... *let's pray my sis wun see this entry until 24th... hehez* i've baked an oreo cheesecake for my family for christmas.... phew~ *that's one down, many more to go... =X*
only 2 more days left till 24th... including todae... which have been half spent due to me lying on the bed, unwilling to get down.. talk abt being lazy... long time never spend time wif my bed, pillow(s) and my bloster... hehez... love my bloster... XD
okiesh.. the above para sounded a little... incoherent.. hahaz... maybe cos i din have breakfast yet? =P
and now... my mum is persuading me to join alumni co... -_-''' saying how much i like co... and enjoy talking to pple... go there can keep in touch wif my lao gong... blah blah blah... den i was telling her that i wanna consider more... and she juz kept talking on and on abt how i dun wanna join cos i'm only interested in mixing wif my 猪朋狗友 and dun care abt my sis *who happens to be alumni oso*.... oh well... wad can i say? =X
oh well.. even if i join... i dun think i can go for all the practices aniwae... cos next year i'm going to work already mahz... =X
hahaz... enuff ranting for now... shall start to eat a little biscuits bah... and pray i dun get any fatter.. =X
20 December 2004
eating dinner now...
and thinking of u...
hehez... had a... well.. how do u say? fun packed day? hmms.. not exactly... =X
basically... i tot todae i'll be rotting away at home... doing nth... budden... at ard 1110... pansy called me up, and asked me to go down wif her for a job interview.. so... since i'm idle and rotting at home... might as well make full use of my time and go down lohz...
basically... i flopped everything bah... in my hurry to get down to meet pansy in time... den i forgot to bring my ic... =X never bring photo oso... =X den... sighz~ basically... dunno how well my chances are of getting employed... but.. i guess i learned more today... =)
after that... went over to pansy's house in jurong east... omg.. it's darn nice!!! juz like wad she said... it's like a holiday house... *or wadeva u call it.. hehez* aniwae.. had a nice afternoon there... fiddling wif her kitchen... which made me realise how lousy a housewife i am... but.. heyz~ i'm learning hard yar? =)
oh... and guess wad? while attempting to fiddle wif pansy's oven... the whole... circuit.. simply tripped... -_- den we couldn't figure out what exactly went wrong... den called loads of pple to figure out how to put the electricity back... lolz~
aniwae... laters... from pansy's house in jurong east... we shifted base to her auntie's friend's house... at boon lay there... lolz~ muz thank pansy loads... =) plus her auntie and her really really friendly friend... =) thankx for all ur help!!! though i know u guys probably wun see this.. but heyz... arigatou!!! i'll repay u gals somehow... =)
hmms... at least some of my burden i can 放下 le... now... still left wif loads of stuff waiting to be cleared... like... to clean up my room... *again... siandeds* den spend more time wif my loved ones... blah blah blah...
still eating dinner at 12midnight... i really should learn to eat faster... hahaz....
guess i should go back to thinking of u... n...
guess i shall go back to dinner.. and to chatting online.. ha~
and thinking of u...
hehez... had a... well.. how do u say? fun packed day? hmms.. not exactly... =X
basically... i tot todae i'll be rotting away at home... doing nth... budden... at ard 1110... pansy called me up, and asked me to go down wif her for a job interview.. so... since i'm idle and rotting at home... might as well make full use of my time and go down lohz...
basically... i flopped everything bah... in my hurry to get down to meet pansy in time... den i forgot to bring my ic... =X never bring photo oso... =X den... sighz~ basically... dunno how well my chances are of getting employed... but.. i guess i learned more today... =)
after that... went over to pansy's house in jurong east... omg.. it's darn nice!!! juz like wad she said... it's like a holiday house... *or wadeva u call it.. hehez* aniwae.. had a nice afternoon there... fiddling wif her kitchen... which made me realise how lousy a housewife i am... but.. heyz~ i'm learning hard yar? =)
oh... and guess wad? while attempting to fiddle wif pansy's oven... the whole... circuit.. simply tripped... -_- den we couldn't figure out what exactly went wrong... den called loads of pple to figure out how to put the electricity back... lolz~
aniwae... laters... from pansy's house in jurong east... we shifted base to her auntie's friend's house... at boon lay there... lolz~ muz thank pansy loads... =) plus her auntie and her really really friendly friend... =) thankx for all ur help!!! though i know u guys probably wun see this.. but heyz... arigatou!!! i'll repay u gals somehow... =)
hmms... at least some of my burden i can 放下 le... now... still left wif loads of stuff waiting to be cleared... like... to clean up my room... *again... siandeds* den spend more time wif my loved ones... blah blah blah...
still eating dinner at 12midnight... i really should learn to eat faster... hahaz....
guess i should go back to thinking of u... n...
guess i shall go back to dinner.. and to chatting online.. ha~
19 December 2004
weixiang's birthday todae....
and i haven't gotten him a bdae present yet.. =X
sighz...
hey heyz... it's a miracle that i woke up so early todae... =)
cos these few days... i've been sleeping at... like.. 2? and then waking up as late as 11 in the morning... such a pig right? =X
so yesterday, for a change slept slightly earlier... so wake up oso abit earlier... though still sleep the same amt of hours.. budden... makes me feel less guilty... hahahahaz... =P
feeling touched these few days... yesterday read eric's blog... where he thanked me for helping out at the chalet... honestly... i din really help... juz felt that it's something i needed to do... cos i can't stand juz standing ard doing nth when other pple need help mahz... i'm doing it for myself ya? =P i'm not as nice as u guys think... heh heh hehz~
now chatting wif xuanyou... he said that it's difficult for him to stay awake after 11pm nowadays... which i totally understand now... and... i'm starting to get worried for the guys when they go army... though i dun really know the reason y... =X sighz...
christmas is juz *starts counting using fingers* exactly 6 days away.... christmas eve is 5 days away... talk abt being stressed... =X there are so many things i wanna do... budden like cannot finish liddat lehz... =X sighz.... sorry randy... if i cannot come and play RO as often during this week lehz.. =X miss RO budden... some other things have to take priority for now bah... =X
guess wad? my parents are playing wif this... timer in the shape of a carrot... which u can turn, to start the timer... and at the end... when time's up, the carrot will start to ring like a fire alarm... apparently my parents are both very amused by it... lolz~ budden i can't imagine my house sounding as though there's a fire like.. every few minutes... =X or that there's a bomb hidden somewhere in the house... *cos the carrot starts ticking when it's counting down...*
okiesh... the carrot juz rang... -_-'''
hmms... thinking abt stuff again... feeling as though these few days are like a dream... a very very nice dream... =) if all these are a dream... den.... i dun ever wanna wake up.... *quote from manga... hahaz*
realised that... i really dunno how to put my feelings across... or to even communicate properly... =X juz now trying to tell my parents some 欠扁问答题 den dey all like... seh diao... and dun get the answer to the riddle... am i that lousy? lolz~ or maybe it's generation gap... =X
sob sobz....
year end le... so many things waiting to be tied up... so many things waiting to be done... hahaz... originally i wanted to make use of the hols to finish playing ffx and ffx-2.... but guess wad? i guess that wun be possible... *sobz* cos i no ps2 ar... :'( den... gotta work on my new year resolutions.... hahaz... let's hope that this time it's not all talk no action lehz... quite sick of all these le... =)
hmms... so few pple online... maybe everybody's still sleeping... meaning that i wake up super early todae... hehehez~
i miss u...
kkz larz.. shall start doing the stuff i need to do le.. hahahaz~
and i haven't gotten him a bdae present yet.. =X
sighz...
hey heyz... it's a miracle that i woke up so early todae... =)
cos these few days... i've been sleeping at... like.. 2? and then waking up as late as 11 in the morning... such a pig right? =X
so yesterday, for a change slept slightly earlier... so wake up oso abit earlier... though still sleep the same amt of hours.. budden... makes me feel less guilty... hahahahaz... =P
feeling touched these few days... yesterday read eric's blog... where he thanked me for helping out at the chalet... honestly... i din really help... juz felt that it's something i needed to do... cos i can't stand juz standing ard doing nth when other pple need help mahz... i'm doing it for myself ya? =P i'm not as nice as u guys think... heh heh hehz~
now chatting wif xuanyou... he said that it's difficult for him to stay awake after 11pm nowadays... which i totally understand now... and... i'm starting to get worried for the guys when they go army... though i dun really know the reason y... =X sighz...
christmas is juz *starts counting using fingers* exactly 6 days away.... christmas eve is 5 days away... talk abt being stressed... =X there are so many things i wanna do... budden like cannot finish liddat lehz... =X sighz.... sorry randy... if i cannot come and play RO as often during this week lehz.. =X miss RO budden... some other things have to take priority for now bah... =X
guess wad? my parents are playing wif this... timer in the shape of a carrot... which u can turn, to start the timer... and at the end... when time's up, the carrot will start to ring like a fire alarm... apparently my parents are both very amused by it... lolz~ budden i can't imagine my house sounding as though there's a fire like.. every few minutes... =X or that there's a bomb hidden somewhere in the house... *cos the carrot starts ticking when it's counting down...*
okiesh... the carrot juz rang... -_-'''
hmms... thinking abt stuff again... feeling as though these few days are like a dream... a very very nice dream... =) if all these are a dream... den.... i dun ever wanna wake up.... *quote from manga... hahaz*
realised that... i really dunno how to put my feelings across... or to even communicate properly... =X juz now trying to tell my parents some 欠扁问答题 den dey all like... seh diao... and dun get the answer to the riddle... am i that lousy? lolz~ or maybe it's generation gap... =X
sob sobz....
year end le... so many things waiting to be tied up... so many things waiting to be done... hahaz... originally i wanted to make use of the hols to finish playing ffx and ffx-2.... but guess wad? i guess that wun be possible... *sobz* cos i no ps2 ar... :'( den... gotta work on my new year resolutions.... hahaz... let's hope that this time it's not all talk no action lehz... quite sick of all these le... =)
hmms... so few pple online... maybe everybody's still sleeping... meaning that i wake up super early todae... hehehez~
i miss u...
kkz larz.. shall start doing the stuff i need to do le.. hahahaz~
17 December 2004
ever since i had my verbal diarrhoea like...a week ago...
basically.. i'm back to say that...
i'm still alive...
well.. these few days... had been kinda busy... going chalet, going to play badminton and stuff... blah blah blah...
and not forgetting to mention.... to prepare for a certain festive season.... though preparations aren't really going on smoothly since i'm always out most of the time... kinda scared i cannot make it on time lehz.. =X
not many days left... so little time, so many things to be done.. =X
and i have to lvl up on RO!!!
wah... new form of stress after a levels lehz.. lolz~
hmms... tml ar.... think most likely i'll be rotting at home again... lolz~ or maybe go out wif my family to buy groceries... =) *hmms... new change in me lehz... now i'm starting not to hate grocery shopping as much as b4 le... maybe it's cos i can buy more junk food? eeks... fattening wor..*
gosh... i'm starting to talk like eric... *shudders*
supposed to go back chalet todae one... budden can only go in the afternoon... den guess wad? eric n company were at chinatown... doing cip... -_-''' so in the end i went home... and asked eric to pass my sis my orange waterbottle which i left at the chalet... *which was the reason y i wanted to go back to chalet.. sobz~*
okies larz... enuff update for now... shall update again when i have the time.. ha~
basically.. i'm back to say that...
i'm still alive...
well.. these few days... had been kinda busy... going chalet, going to play badminton and stuff... blah blah blah...
and not forgetting to mention.... to prepare for a certain festive season.... though preparations aren't really going on smoothly since i'm always out most of the time... kinda scared i cannot make it on time lehz.. =X
not many days left... so little time, so many things to be done.. =X
and i have to lvl up on RO!!!
wah... new form of stress after a levels lehz.. lolz~
hmms... tml ar.... think most likely i'll be rotting at home again... lolz~ or maybe go out wif my family to buy groceries... =) *hmms... new change in me lehz... now i'm starting not to hate grocery shopping as much as b4 le... maybe it's cos i can buy more junk food? eeks... fattening wor..*
gosh... i'm starting to talk like eric... *shudders*
supposed to go back chalet todae one... budden can only go in the afternoon... den guess wad? eric n company were at chinatown... doing cip... -_-''' so in the end i went home... and asked eric to pass my sis my orange waterbottle which i left at the chalet... *which was the reason y i wanted to go back to chalet.. sobz~*
okies larz... enuff update for now... shall update again when i have the time.. ha~
14 December 2004
tireds.
i know u might never read this... but..
tml going for master class in the morning.. followed by... chalet..
i miss u
all of a sudden.. dun feel like going.. juz wanna sit at home and rot to death.
i miss u
maybe this is wad kelvin said... u're mentally tired... hahaz...
i miss u
maybe i should go get some sleep b4 my eyes pop out.. hahaz..
i know u might never read this... but..
tml going for master class in the morning.. followed by... chalet..
i miss u
all of a sudden.. dun feel like going.. juz wanna sit at home and rot to death.
i miss u
maybe this is wad kelvin said... u're mentally tired... hahaz...
i miss u
maybe i should go get some sleep b4 my eyes pop out.. hahaz..
12 December 2004
continual stoning.
did i mention that.. juz now, while i was playing mahjong, my brother went out. and me being the stupid selfish shitty sister *heyz~ nice alliteration* was so engrossed in mahjong online simply saw him go out without asking where he went. thinking that he had already told my mum where he was going to go.
guess wad my mum said yesterday is true.
i deserve ten thousand slaps.
trying to do some household chores to make myself feel more at ease. stupid baka.
the thing is.. my brother din bring handphone.. so now dunno where he is...
dun even know whether i'm worried or anything...
it's such a weird feeling... a few days ago i probably "hated" my brother to the core... den now i'm hating myself for not caring for my brother.
idiot. arrgh.
i'm sorry... but saying sorry now doesn't help things at all.
all i can do is to sit at home and wait for him to come back...
i know i know.. my parents appeared not to be blaming me... but i know that deep down... u guys know that i'm not a good elder sis larz. i know i know... some things no need to say out loud one.
wad's the point of ranting here. it doesn't help things at all.
okies. i shall shaddup.
wad's the point of trying to help other pple with their problems when u can't even solve ur simple pathetic problem.
did i mention that.. juz now, while i was playing mahjong, my brother went out. and me being the stupid selfish shitty sister *heyz~ nice alliteration* was so engrossed in mahjong online simply saw him go out without asking where he went. thinking that he had already told my mum where he was going to go.
guess wad my mum said yesterday is true.
i deserve ten thousand slaps.
trying to do some household chores to make myself feel more at ease. stupid baka.
the thing is.. my brother din bring handphone.. so now dunno where he is...
dun even know whether i'm worried or anything...
it's such a weird feeling... a few days ago i probably "hated" my brother to the core... den now i'm hating myself for not caring for my brother.
idiot. arrgh.
i'm sorry... but saying sorry now doesn't help things at all.
all i can do is to sit at home and wait for him to come back...
i know i know.. my parents appeared not to be blaming me... but i know that deep down... u guys know that i'm not a good elder sis larz. i know i know... some things no need to say out loud one.
wad's the point of ranting here. it doesn't help things at all.
okies. i shall shaddup.
wad's the point of trying to help other pple with their problems when u can't even solve ur simple pathetic problem.
sumimasen abt this... but i guess i'll be blogging quite a bit these few days...
i'm still thinking abt the anime... sheesh...
trying hard to do as wad kelvin says...别胡思乱想.. and wad zhanxin says... 别想那么多...
sighz.. now contemplating whether to go out or not...
randy's not online... so cannot talk to him abt the anime which left him in a.... wadeva u call it.. emotional stress? hahaz... dunno... but definitely.. shaken... yes.. that's the word..
all of a sudden.. i juz feel like.. sitting on my comp chair.. and to rot away my whole day...
mind being blank... clear like the water...
gosh.. wad am i talking... i sound like i'm suffering from depression or stuff.
reading through pple's blogs... realised that.... many have their own problems which other dun seem to understand... wondering if i've misunderstood or not tried to understand other pple's problems at all now...
somehow... all of a sudden... my mind is brought back to the anime.... "you do and say things to make yourself feel more at ease...." for example... u're tied down to your own problems which seem so huge which u can't manage on your own... so u turn ur focus to other pple's problems and try to help others so that u'll feel more at ease... but in actual fact u're juz running away...
now i'm stuck at timo's blog.. listening to the nice music on his blog... and mind... drifting... drifting.. to a far far away place...
wondering if i'm becoming a pest to pple... hahaz... juz like... how sometimes i feel irritated if someone kept pestering me.. *winkz to weixiang* maybe... it's cos i can't let go... and i've become quite dependent on my friends... especially those whom i consider close... and always confide to them... sorry if i'm becoming too pestering yar?
which brings my mind back to the anime again... something which mitsuki said before she broke off with takayuki... i realised that i've become too dependent on you... and so... now i'm going to break off my dependence on you...
do i have to do the same thing too? before things get... out of hand?
*slaps self* wad am i talking?
when faced with pressure.. wad would u do? start throwing tantrums? let off steam? or juz keep quiet?
none of the three options seem best at times... and out of all these three "shitty" options... whichever u choose.. will still deem u as a "bad" guy... and when nobody seem to understand the situation u're in... u juz... get frustrated...
i wanna become your pillar... but i realised how hard it is... so all i can do is to stand afar... and to observe... to try to understand you... your situations... and to give u smiles when u're down... =) and to say words of encouragement when u need them...
even if i have to be a bad guy to make u smile?
and.. all these... even if i've tried to do these things... is it enough?
*slap slap*... again.. wad am i talking abt?
oh my gosh... i sound rather incoherent... haiz...
enough of random ranting for now... shall try to drown myself in peanuts and mahjong... hahaz... =)
i'm still thinking abt the anime... sheesh...
trying hard to do as wad kelvin says...别胡思乱想.. and wad zhanxin says... 别想那么多...
sighz.. now contemplating whether to go out or not...
randy's not online... so cannot talk to him abt the anime which left him in a.... wadeva u call it.. emotional stress? hahaz... dunno... but definitely.. shaken... yes.. that's the word..
all of a sudden.. i juz feel like.. sitting on my comp chair.. and to rot away my whole day...
mind being blank... clear like the water...
gosh.. wad am i talking... i sound like i'm suffering from depression or stuff.
reading through pple's blogs... realised that.... many have their own problems which other dun seem to understand... wondering if i've misunderstood or not tried to understand other pple's problems at all now...
somehow... all of a sudden... my mind is brought back to the anime.... "you do and say things to make yourself feel more at ease...." for example... u're tied down to your own problems which seem so huge which u can't manage on your own... so u turn ur focus to other pple's problems and try to help others so that u'll feel more at ease... but in actual fact u're juz running away...
now i'm stuck at timo's blog.. listening to the nice music on his blog... and mind... drifting... drifting.. to a far far away place...
wondering if i'm becoming a pest to pple... hahaz... juz like... how sometimes i feel irritated if someone kept pestering me.. *winkz to weixiang* maybe... it's cos i can't let go... and i've become quite dependent on my friends... especially those whom i consider close... and always confide to them... sorry if i'm becoming too pestering yar?
which brings my mind back to the anime again... something which mitsuki said before she broke off with takayuki... i realised that i've become too dependent on you... and so... now i'm going to break off my dependence on you...
do i have to do the same thing too? before things get... out of hand?
*slaps self* wad am i talking?
when faced with pressure.. wad would u do? start throwing tantrums? let off steam? or juz keep quiet?
none of the three options seem best at times... and out of all these three "shitty" options... whichever u choose.. will still deem u as a "bad" guy... and when nobody seem to understand the situation u're in... u juz... get frustrated...
i wanna become your pillar... but i realised how hard it is... so all i can do is to stand afar... and to observe... to try to understand you... your situations... and to give u smiles when u're down... =) and to say words of encouragement when u need them...
even if i have to be a bad guy to make u smile?
and.. all these... even if i've tried to do these things... is it enough?
*slap slap*... again.. wad am i talking abt?
oh my gosh... i sound rather incoherent... haiz...
enough of random ranting for now... shall try to drown myself in peanuts and mahjong... hahaz... =)
crying my eyes out...
yesterday, i cried my eyes out the entire night.
dun worry.... i'm okiesh..
it's juz that i watched an anime which i think i will need some time to get over...
randy was right... i really need loads of tissues for this anime...
the name of the anime is... kimi ga nozomu eien... english translation... the eternity you wish for...
hmms... let's see... eh... music was not bad... i really like the ending song of the anime episodes... story itself ar... got a bit of ahem ahems... not suitable for kids.. *though i'm still a kid... or.. am i? hahaz~*
story starts off wif... the first episode.. *ha... duhhz~* story starts off with the potagonist... called takayuki, who's a third year high school student... who doesn't really study, but juz slack all day... but he's quite a nice guy... he has two other good friends from his class... shinji (a guy) and mitsuki...a girl who's a good swimmer... but the reason why mitsuki is takayuki's good friend is becoz her best friend, haruka, has a crush on takayuki...
with mitsuki's help... haruka was able to confess to takayuki on a hill, which was takayuki's fav place... haruka was a very nice... shy... and rather innocent girl... and when she confessed... takayuki, being the nice guy he was... couldn't reject her... and so... they started dating... but takayuki dated her halfheartedly... and after a few dates... haruka realised that he din really like her.. and so they broke off...
and it was only when takayuki lost haruka... that he realised that he actually liked her... and so... he went back to the hill where haruka first confessed to him... and found haruka there... and then he confessed to her that he liked her...
tada~ end of episode 1... happy ending... *sniff sniff*
aniwae... will guys only know who they like only when they lost that person they like? tsk tsk... =P
episode 2... haruka and takayuki are a happy and sweet couple... they had many fun moments... but... somehow... there are slight ripples underneath the peaceful surface... there was once... haruka and takayuki had a date to go to a temple festival together... but b4 takayuki could go and meet up wif haruka, mitsuki asked takayuki to listen to her... and takayuki being the nice guy agreed... resulting in takayuki being extremely late and haruka was so worried that she cried... and shinji and haruka finally found mitsuki and takayuki together on the hill... mitsuki apologised for asking takayuki to listen to her woes... but haruka didn't mind.. cos mistuki was her best friend...
on another day... takayuki was also going to meet up haruka for his date again... and he met mitsuki on the streets... mitsuki told takayuki that it was her birthday that day... and takayuki felt oblidged to buy her a bdae present... mitsuki let takayuki to a jewellery stall... where she fancied a ring... and asked takayuki to buy for her... at first takayuki felt slightly uneasy... but.. since it was her birthday... takayuki was nice and bought the ring for her... resulting in... takayuki being once again, late for his date... and... ... ...
haruka meeting with a car accident while waiting for takayuki to appear.
end of episode 2...
episode 3 starts off... 3 years later after the accident... takayuki had dropped school.. and is now working as a waiter in this family restuarant... having fun with the other waitresses there at work... mitsuki has oso given up swimming and is now working at a trading company... takayuki and mitsuki are now together... and apparently the couple have no guilt over wad happened 3 years ago... meanwhile.. shinji is now in university, but still unsuccessful in starting a relationship wif a girl...
one day, while takayuki and mitsuki were walking together.. they met akane, haruka's younger sister... who is in high school now and one of the top swimmers in the swimming club... akane juz came out of the swimming complex, and when akane saw them... she shot them an angry look, and said... visiting hours are almost over... and she walked coolly past the couple... leaving the couple feeling guilty over what they've done... takayuki turned, and saw... the telephone booth... where haruka stood three years ago... before she met with the car accident... ... ...
okiesh... end of episode 3...
shan't say more... or else not fun le... hahaz...
basically... besides the ahem ahems part... i think this is a really... nice and realistic story bah... after watching the whole anime in one day... *heh hehz*... and crying the whole night.... *sniff sniff*... it set me thinking about... how sometimes guys try to be nice to two girls, and end up hurting the two of them at the same time... takayuki could jolly well go up to either mitsuki or hakura and tell them he doesn't like one of them, and solve the problem... but either way... he'll still end up as the "bad guy"...
sighz...
this makes me recall a quote from the anime... "you're so nice... that it's cruel..."
tissues... i need tissues...
okiesh.. anime aside.. yesterday i finished reading da vinci code.. finally... *phew* it's quite an achievement for me since i dun really like reading... hahaz... dotz~ but oh well.. it's a nice book.. =) no wonder it's a best seller.. ha~
and now... i wish that the RO server is back.. so that i can put my mind off those issues raised by the anime... sobz~
dun worry.... i'm okiesh..
it's juz that i watched an anime which i think i will need some time to get over...
randy was right... i really need loads of tissues for this anime...
the name of the anime is... kimi ga nozomu eien... english translation... the eternity you wish for...
hmms... let's see... eh... music was not bad... i really like the ending song of the anime episodes... story itself ar... got a bit of ahem ahems... not suitable for kids.. *though i'm still a kid... or.. am i? hahaz~*
story starts off wif... the first episode.. *ha... duhhz~* story starts off with the potagonist... called takayuki, who's a third year high school student... who doesn't really study, but juz slack all day... but he's quite a nice guy... he has two other good friends from his class... shinji (a guy) and mitsuki...a girl who's a good swimmer... but the reason why mitsuki is takayuki's good friend is becoz her best friend, haruka, has a crush on takayuki...
with mitsuki's help... haruka was able to confess to takayuki on a hill, which was takayuki's fav place... haruka was a very nice... shy... and rather innocent girl... and when she confessed... takayuki, being the nice guy he was... couldn't reject her... and so... they started dating... but takayuki dated her halfheartedly... and after a few dates... haruka realised that he din really like her.. and so they broke off...
and it was only when takayuki lost haruka... that he realised that he actually liked her... and so... he went back to the hill where haruka first confessed to him... and found haruka there... and then he confessed to her that he liked her...
tada~ end of episode 1... happy ending... *sniff sniff*
aniwae... will guys only know who they like only when they lost that person they like? tsk tsk... =P
episode 2... haruka and takayuki are a happy and sweet couple... they had many fun moments... but... somehow... there are slight ripples underneath the peaceful surface... there was once... haruka and takayuki had a date to go to a temple festival together... but b4 takayuki could go and meet up wif haruka, mitsuki asked takayuki to listen to her... and takayuki being the nice guy agreed... resulting in takayuki being extremely late and haruka was so worried that she cried... and shinji and haruka finally found mitsuki and takayuki together on the hill... mitsuki apologised for asking takayuki to listen to her woes... but haruka didn't mind.. cos mistuki was her best friend...
on another day... takayuki was also going to meet up haruka for his date again... and he met mitsuki on the streets... mitsuki told takayuki that it was her birthday that day... and takayuki felt oblidged to buy her a bdae present... mitsuki let takayuki to a jewellery stall... where she fancied a ring... and asked takayuki to buy for her... at first takayuki felt slightly uneasy... but.. since it was her birthday... takayuki was nice and bought the ring for her... resulting in... takayuki being once again, late for his date... and... ... ...
haruka meeting with a car accident while waiting for takayuki to appear.
end of episode 2...
episode 3 starts off... 3 years later after the accident... takayuki had dropped school.. and is now working as a waiter in this family restuarant... having fun with the other waitresses there at work... mitsuki has oso given up swimming and is now working at a trading company... takayuki and mitsuki are now together... and apparently the couple have no guilt over wad happened 3 years ago... meanwhile.. shinji is now in university, but still unsuccessful in starting a relationship wif a girl...
one day, while takayuki and mitsuki were walking together.. they met akane, haruka's younger sister... who is in high school now and one of the top swimmers in the swimming club... akane juz came out of the swimming complex, and when akane saw them... she shot them an angry look, and said... visiting hours are almost over... and she walked coolly past the couple... leaving the couple feeling guilty over what they've done... takayuki turned, and saw... the telephone booth... where haruka stood three years ago... before she met with the car accident... ... ...
okiesh... end of episode 3...
shan't say more... or else not fun le... hahaz...
basically... besides the ahem ahems part... i think this is a really... nice and realistic story bah... after watching the whole anime in one day... *heh hehz*... and crying the whole night.... *sniff sniff*... it set me thinking about... how sometimes guys try to be nice to two girls, and end up hurting the two of them at the same time... takayuki could jolly well go up to either mitsuki or hakura and tell them he doesn't like one of them, and solve the problem... but either way... he'll still end up as the "bad guy"...
sighz...
this makes me recall a quote from the anime... "you're so nice... that it's cruel..."
tissues... i need tissues...
okiesh.. anime aside.. yesterday i finished reading da vinci code.. finally... *phew* it's quite an achievement for me since i dun really like reading... hahaz... dotz~ but oh well.. it's a nice book.. =) no wonder it's a best seller.. ha~
and now... i wish that the RO server is back.. so that i can put my mind off those issues raised by the anime... sobz~
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